Original subtitles

Nonso, this cancer\Nweakens me every day,

And I am not sure I'll make\Nit to your next birthday.

So, I got you a birthday gift in advance.

It is a three carat solitaire\Ndiamond engagement ring.

Since your father is gone and\NI don't have much time left,

my wish is for you to\Nfind yourself a good wife,

so that you can start\Na family of your own.

Just so you know, the ring\Nis valued around $22,000.

I love you so much, mom.

[gentle music]

[upbeat music]

♪ I wish love was an easy song to write ♪

♪ 'Cause I have pages worth of words,\NThat will not lie ♪

♪ Your name will be the melody ♪

♪ That's on my tongue ♪

♪ Oh if love was a simple song ♪

♪ There are no words\NThat have been written or been sung ♪

♪ That my ears have heard\NOr I've cheapened with my tongue ♪

♪ That hold the weight of this\Nthing that we call love ♪

♪ Oh love's not a simple song ♪

♪ But my song's for you ♪

♪ Though not pretty or poetic ♪

♪ I hope you know it's true ♪

♪ I'm not perfect in my ways ♪

♪ And I let you down most days ♪

♪ But know it's true ♪

-♪ Darling I love you ♪\N-[girlfriend sighs]

-Babe?\N-Yes?

-It's time to go.\N-No please.

Babe, it's getting late.\NPlease come take me home.

Listen, can you just\Nplease spend the night?

I have work, you are aware.

[Nonso hisses]

Please babe.

Listen, I agree, but it's\Njust so hard to see you go.

[Nonso sighs]

-I'm gonna cry\N-[laughing]

And it's okay baby.

But you'll survive. [kisses]

-What if I don't survive?\N-You will, you're a big boy.

-What if I die before the morning?\N-[girlfriend laughing]

-[laughs]\N-I can't breathe without you, baby.

Don't go.

Please come back.

Five more minutes, please.

-Let's go.\N-Five more minutes.

You have to, you still have to drive back.

[Nonso grunts]

Alright baby, let's go.

[gentle music]

[upbeat music]

[phone rings]

[Man] Hey bro, how far?

Hey guy, how far now? What's good?

I'm fine my guy. What's up now?

[Nonso in pidgin] I'm okay.\NWhere are you like this?

I am still in the office

Office.

Okay, you know what will happen?

Can you stop by my place after work?

Yeah. What's going on?

Don't worry man,\Nwhen you come I'll tell you.

[Nonso in Pidgin] Just stop by please

-Okay bro.\N-Alright man, see you soon.

[upbeat music]

You said you have something to say, shoot.

Guy relax now, won't you calm down?

What do you mean "Relax, calm down?"

I hightailed out of the office\Nto come here

and you're saying calm down.

Look, you said it was serious.\NWhat's up? Shoot.

[upbeat music]

Okay. Uhm

I want to settle down.

Don't laugh man, this guy.

-He's laughing.\N-[laughs]

[coughs]

I'm sorry man.

[Man in Pidgin] You said you want to\Nsettle down, meaning you want to marry?

[upbeat music]

Wait, you're serious?

One hundred percent bro.

[Man in Pidgin] So who do you\Nwant to marry?

What kind of stupid question is that?

Who else? Chioma, of course.

[laughs] You're serious man?

[Nonso hisses] Guy, a hundred percent.

My man.

[hand clapping]

-Congratulations man.\N-Thank you so much.

-So you got my back?\N-I got your back, man.

-Cheers man!\N-[glass clinks]

[upbeat music]

♪ Love is beautiful\Nwhen you find someone ♪

♪ Who can touch your heart and soul ♪

♪ My love oh ♪

[friend] Going to work?

[Chioma] Yes. I'm looking for my keys.

Aren't you going to work?

Nope. I got the day off. [chuckles]

-[phone beeps]\N-[Chioma] Lucky you.

-I know\N-[phone beeps]

A secret?

What secret?

Have you seen my keys?

[phone beeps]

Cynthia, why are you smiling?

Are you hiding my keys?

-No, of course not.\N-[phone beeps]

-Have you checked your bag?\N-No.

[phone beeps]

[phone beeps]

-Who are you talking to?\N-Oh, nobody.

I mean, my friend.

You're talking to your ex again.

You need to stop selling\Nyourself short okay?

Stop talking to this guy.\NHe doesn't deserve you.

-Any man would be lucky to have you.\N-Here we go again

[Chioma] Do you understand?

Yeah, well, I'm not\Nsearching for just any man.

I mean, it's hard out there.\NIt's tough, right?

I mean, not everyone\Ncan be as lucky as you

to find such a perfect\Ngentleman like Nonso.

I mean, he's only perfect\Nuntil he proposes.

Why the hell hasn't he done that?

I don't know, but I love him regardless.

Aw! Look at you.

Happy and in love.

Whatever! We need to find\Nyou your own amazing man soon.

Definitely not one like that your ex.

Wait, do you really always have to rub in

my bad choices of men?

[Chioma] Yes.

[door bangs]

Whatever.

[football crowd cheering on TV]

[doorbell rings]

-Hey!\N-Hi, how are you?

I'm good.

[kissing sounds]

I'm so sorry I'm late.\NThe traffic was crazy.

[Nonso in Pidin] It is a problem for\Nanyone who doesn't know Lagos traffic.

[Cynthia laughs] I know right?

-[Cynthia] Oh hey.\N-Hey Cynthia.

-Hi\N-Hi.

-How are you?\N-I'm okay. How are you?

I'm good. [laughs]

Great.

[upbeat comedy music]

Great.

Jay?

Hmm?

Sorry! Your hand.

[chuckles] Yeah.

[Nonso] So guys,

I'm going to ask Chioma to marry me.

[Cynthia sighs]

Oh my!

It's beautiful.

It is? Do you think she'll like it?

[Cynthia sighs]

Like it?

Nah! I don't think she'll like it.

-[Jay spluttering] What? Why?\N-What's wrong with it?

Like, is it too small?

It's not the cut she likes?

It's… [hisses] I don't know

There's just…

-Psych! [laughs]\N-[sighs]

Of course she'll love it.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Guy you calm down now.

Chioma is not even here,\Nsee how you're sweating.

Where am I sweating? Please.

-Is it your sweat?\N-Clean your forehead.

-Is it your sweat?\N-Sorry, ah.

-Alright, thank you.\N-This is beautiful.

Alright, cool. First hurdle, passed.

Now, Chioma…

is your best friend.

Yeah.

Do you, and I can handle the truth oh,

Do you think she will say yes?

What? Are you kidding?

I mean Chioma dreams of you\Nand her wedding all day long.

Of course she will say yes.\NI mean, why wouldn't she?

Okay.

Okay, two down. [laughs]

Now the third thing is, proposal.

I have absolutely no idea\Nin my head right now.

-Well, I guess that's why we're here.\N-[Cynthia] Mmhm.

Cool. Who wants to go first?

-I have an idea.\N-I was hoping

-No, it's fine.\N-I have an idea.

-Go ahead.\N-Okay.

So check this yeah?

You put an ad in a newspaper, hm?

You put your name, you\Nput the proposal there

and then you buy the newspaper.

You give it to her to read it.

You know, say, "Read the\Nad for me" and all of that.

She's reading it.\NOf course she's not expecting to see that.

But as she's reading,

she's beginning to\Nrealize it's the proposal.

And then she'd be like, "Aww"

and you'd be right behind her,

on one knee, propose, boom!

-[Nonso chuckles]\N-What do you guys think?

‎-[Nonso mumbles]\N‎-[Cynthia clears throat]

-[Cynthia laughs]\N-Really?

I'm sorry, I…

Listen, your idea is beautiful.

-It's nice.\N-Thank you.

But,

What if someone that knows\Nher reads this publication

before the actual proposal,

and then calls her to congratulate her?

Then what?

-Have you though about that?\N-He doesn't really think much to be fair.

But you know what? It's fine.

Nice try.

Cynthia, please, I know\Nyou're her best friend.

I know you know her more\Nthan anybody in this world.

What do you think?

[Nonso] How do you think she\Nlikes to be proposed to?

Honestly, I think simplicity, privacy.

You should know this about her.\NShe just loves anything simple.

I think something simple and\Nprivate would work just fine.

[both men] Something like?

Something like a\Nprivate dinner at a lounge

or at home. Yes. Here.

Why didn't I think of that?

-Dinner at home right?\N-Yes!

Dinner at home?

-She'll love it.\N-Yes! She's right.

Of course I'm right.

-Dinner at home.\N-[Cynthia laughs]

[upbeat music]

Hey, baby.

Hi baby.

What are you doing right now?

I just got back from work.

I'm trying to settle down.

Okay.

I was thinking, do you have\Nany plans for tomorrow night?

Nope! Uuh! Do you have any plans for us?

Well, I was thinking maybe

We can have

I don't know, dinner at my place.

Oh! Who's cooking?

Chef Nonso, of course.

Ahh! That sounds so sexy.

Okay, chef Nonso, may I place my order?

Mm. Of course, I have my note out.

Okay. I'd like you to\Nprepare my favorite soup.

That's easy now, egusi?

Yes. With a lot of stock fish.

Okay. You know what, consider it done.

Thank you.

And for dessert, I'd like\Nus to play cuddle bugs.

Hm! Cuddle bugs.

Mmhm!

♪ Love is beautiful when\Nyou find someone ♪

♪ Who can touch your heart and soul ♪

♪ My love oh! My love oh! ♪

♪ I've been struck by your cupid arrows ♪

♪ It's like you are a magician ♪

♪ Because your touch is magical ♪

♪ When you look into my eyes ♪

♪ It is my love that you will see♪

♪ The feeling that I get is magical ♪

♪ Baby your love is magical ♪

♪ I salute, oh I ♪

♪ I salute, oh I ♪

♪ I salute for this your love ♪

♪ The way you love is magical ♪

♪ I salute oh I ♪

♪ I salute, salute for this your love ♪

Hey.

My man.

Look at you.\NSee guy, I got roses already, man.

Ah, ah! Bro I know

[Pidgin] But these are to be spread\Nfrom here to the dinning table.

[in Pidgin] Don't you watch\Nchick flicks?

Thank you man.\NSee I knew I should have involved you.

When this is done, we'll\Ntalk about you and Cynthia.

What'd you mean "Me and Cynthia"?

You think I didn't see how\Nyou were holding her hand,

you nearly broke the girl's bone.

-My guy, You calm down.\N-Lover boy.

[in Pidgin] See who is calling\Nme out as lover boy

[gentle music]

Where are you going?

Well, if you must know, there's a guy.

So we're meeting up.

So what? like a date?

Yeah, sort of, but not exactly.

Why won't you just say\Nit's a date instead of

sort of and not exactly.

Because it's not exactly a date.

I, honey, you'll find out soon, alright?

Alright.

Are you going out?

Well, Nonso invited me over for dinner.

And he is cooking.

-He's cooking?\N-Yes.

Aw, men that cook, keeper.

But are you planning on wearing that?

Mmhm.

It's horrible.

Stop, it's not horrible.

Babes, it is horrible.

Yes!

-Its not bad.\N-It's horrible.

Hmm

Maybe my lucky red dress?

[Cynthia] Perfect.

Oh, you look gorgeous in that dress.

Oh my God! Take this off.

Heads up, I might not come back tonight.

Okay. So it's about to go down.

-No, it's not.\N-Yes it is.

Nothing is about to

Oh yes it's about to go down.

-[Chioma] Stop.\N-Hmm

I see.

Hmm

[Chioma] What's the look on your face?

Oh, nothing.

Just enjoy your night, darling.

-[Chioma] I'm serious, stop.\N-[Cynthia laughs]

And now she's shy?

[gentle music]

[phone buzzing]

Hello?

[Nonso] Hello, Cynthia. How far are you?

I'm on my way.

[Nonso] Okay, awesome.

And what about Chioma?

She's getting ready.

[Nonso] Wait, does she suspect anything?

Huh, no.

She actually thinks I'm\Ngoing on a date. [laughs]

[Nonso] I can't wait to\Nsee the look on her face

when she discovers that\Nyou and her were both going

to the same place. [laughs]

I know. I can't wait too. [laughs]

It's going to be so hilarious. [laughs]

[Nonso and Jay laughing]

[laughs] Or have you been the one\Nfeeding her since?

[Nonso sighs]

Guy, it's perfect, right?

My brother, it is.

What do you think?

Oh my! Wow!

[Cynthia] This is absolutely breathtaking.

-[Nonso] Like it?\N-[Cynthia] Of course.

I mean, I love it.

Thank you.

Oh no, you guys did an amazing job.

I'm impressed. [claps]

Thank you so much.

So tell me, did I miss anything?

You missed a lot of work.

-Oh, well that's fair enough.\N-[Jay chuckles]

Oh no, this is absolutely beautiful.

Wait, you two actually\Ndid all this yourself

without no help?

-[Jay] Yeah, we did.\N-[Nonso] Both of us.

[touched] Aww!

I think we should just switch this up.

Have this here and have this.

Voila! Perfection.

[laughs] Oh, I love it.

[upbeat music]

[Jay and Cynthia] Okay.

My man.

-You're looking sharp.\N-[Jay chuckles]

-Nice one bro.\N-Thank you.

Breathe, alright. [laughs]

I think we should run,

we should just rehearse\Nthe lines once more.

-Perfect.\N-That's a good idea.

-Yeah.\N-Yeah.

Come, sit!

Let's rehearse.

So, do you have the…?

The script. The lines

Good.

-Wait.\N-Alright.

[Cynthia] You've got this.

Confidence. You've got this.

She's sitting there.

-Go on, You got this.\N-[Nonso sighs]

-Two years ago.\N-She's not even here yet.

-You have it.\N-Just get into it, alright?

-Baby,\N-[romantic piano music]

Two years ago you captured my heart

By being…

By being exactly the way you are.

You're the sweetest,

The most caring,

The nicest person that I have ever met.

And you've been with me through\Nthe good, through the bad,

and most especially when\NI was mourning my mom.

And,

And you make me so happy.

I enjoy spending every\Nminute with you and,

It's so bad that even some\Ndays when I don't see you,

I start to get panic attacks.

In essence, what…

What I'm trying to say is…

what I'm trying to say, baby is ummm,\Ngive me the line.

[Jay] The moment has come.

[Nonso] Thank you.

The moment has come.

The moment has come for\Nme to take this a step further and,

And I would like to ask you a\Nvery… very important question.

[Nonso sighs]

[gentle music]

[Cynthia laughs]

Chioma,

Will you marry me?

[Nonso] And then at this\Npoint she'd bring up her hand

-and she says, yes.\N-Yes.

-And then I\N-[Jay] What if she says, no?

[Nonso] Wait, what?

Really?

Wait, is it possible that she'll say no?

-Of course not.\N-I'm joking.

-I'm joking.\N-That's an expensive joke.

Come on, calm down, bro. She will say yes.

-Ignore him.\N-I'm sorry.

-She would say yes.\N-Ignore him, alright?

Get back down. She said, yes.

[Jay] I was just joking.

-[Cynthia] Continue.\N-[Jay] Continue.

[Jay] So you're on your knees,\Nshe says, yes.

Alright. Then she says yes.

-[Jay] Yes.\N-[Cynthia] Yes.

And then I put it. What finger?

-[Cynthia] This one.\N-[Jay] This one.

I'll put it in her finger and then

[Cynthia] Finger, yes.

And that's our cue to come out.

-Oh yes.\N-Voila and surprise.

And then you two live happily ever after.

And that's it.

This is so sweet.

I mean, it looks like a scene

in one of those fairy\Ntale movies, you know?

Oh God! When will I get\Nmy own romantic man now?

Ahah! You're disturbing God when I'm here?

-Calm down now.\N-For your mind.

Wait! You guys please, please focus on me.

-Focus on me. Is everything okay?\N-Of course

-Of course. Perfect.\N-Yes, yes, yes.

Are you sure?

[Jay and Cynthia] You're ready.

-I don't know the lines yet.\N-But nothing.

-You have it man.\N-You have it.

-It comes from here.\N-[door bell rings]

[dramatic music]

Guys, guys, she's here.

Breathe, breathe.

[Jay and Cynthia] Calm down.

-You're ready.\N-Alright, you guys, go.

-[urgently] GO!.\N-Okay, fine.

Take your bag.

You got this, alright?

Alright

[dramatic music]

[Nonso grunts]

Nonso stick to the plan\Nnow. Why did you put?

Damn!

[Cynthia whispering]\NNonso, What are you doing?

Why did I put it in the soup?

[dramatic music]

Flowers? Thank you.

[upbeat music]

Oh my goodness! Baby!

-Babe.\N-You like?

I know I say this all the time,\Nbut I have to say it again.

Baby you are the best.

-Sorry, I didn't hear you.\N-You are the best.

You have to say it louder.

-Nonso, you are the best.\N-[Nonso laughs]

[lip smacking]

I'm so happy you like it. Guess what?

-What?\N-There's more.

-[Chioma gasps]\N-[gentle music]

I can't believe you did all this for me.

Oh, of course baby.

You're so sweet.

Here you go.

[Chioma] Thanks.

[Chioma] This is a lot of protein.

I know you like meat.

[Chioma] I like meat. [laughs]

You cooked.

Why are you staring at my plate so much?

Am I?

[Chioma] Yes, you're\Nstaring into my plate a lot.

-[Nonso] Sorry.\N-[Chioma laughs]

-Are you sure that's enough meat?\N-Yes.

Babe, stop.

Okay.

Yes. [clears throat]

-Babe, stop doing that.\N-Sorry.

Say a prayer?

-Yes.\N-Yes?

[clears throat]

[sighs]

Father almighty.

[bell rings]

Are you expecting anyone else?

No. I'm not.

I'm not.

[clears throat]

Father Almighty we'd like\Nto thank you for this--

[bell rings]

Maybe that's Jay. Right?

I'm pretty sure it's not\NJay because he's in my room

-Hm?\N-Hm?

-Did you say something?\N-I said you're beautiful baby.

Oh babe stop it.

-Let me go see who that is.\N-Okay.

-[both chuckle]\N-Go!

I'll wait for you.

[soft music]

[bell rings]

[Nonso] Huh?

Hey handsome?

Bisi, what are you doing here?

Okay, it's kind of like a long story.

I got into an argument with my roommate

and it almost led to\Nlike a physical fight.

So I just wanted to leave the house

so that things could calm down.

And I just wanted to spend the night here.

Listen, you cannot\Nstay here tonight, okay?

[Bisi] Ah, Nonso please now.

Stop shouting.

No. You can't stay here tonight.\NThis is a bad time.

Nonso, please now.

I'll stay on the couch. Please!

-[Bisi] and I'll leave in the morning.\N-You cannot stay here tonight,

See, tonight is the worst night.

Why didn't you call me or something?\NYou just burst in my house.

I wanted to call you,\Nbut I knew you were going to say no.

-[Bisi] Please now, Nonso?\N-Listen, you were right.

I am saying no and there is no way\Nthat you can stay here tonight.

Why don't you just go and get\Nlike a hotel or something?

I don't have any money.

You never have money.

You know what? Just

See, take.

It looks like Nonso is broke too.

I'm not broke, I just don't have\Nany cash with me right now.

[Bisi] Then give me an ATM card now.\NNonso, come on now.

Why don't you just\Nbecome an armed robber now?

-Come on, see.\N-[Chioma] Baby, it's fine.

[dramatic music]

-See what you have caused now?\N-It's fine.

Bisi!

Hello boyfriend snatcher.

Bisi!

We both know I did not snatch him.

You abandoned him when\Nhe needed you the most

and that was when I found my baby.

[lip smacking]

Listen

Babe, you can let her in. It's fine.

Are you sure?

Babe, are you sure?

She's staying for just\Nthe night on the couch. Right?

Sorry baby.

Can I enter now?

[comedic music]

[in Yoruba] This is serious

What's the occasion?

[in Yoruba] It's not even fine.\NSee how the house decorated poorly.

Rubbish! [hisses]

-Who was that?\N-[Jay whispering]

Bisi is here.

[upbeat music]

Who is Bisi?

His gold digging ex-girlfriend.

What? And you let her in?

I tried to stop her, but it\Nwas Chioma that intervened.

Oh Lord! Men!

[dramatic music]

So guy how do I deal with this now?

Guy, I don't know.

Jay, come on.

Okay fine. Look,

first of all, you\Nhave to go out there and--

And propose to Chioma with\NBisi right there, right?

Right?

Right, that would be awkward.

[dramatic music]

Ah!

[Bisi exclaims in Yoruba]

I will not lie to you

This your soup is really sweet. You tried.

Nice one. You tried.

Actually Nonso did the cooking.

-Mmhm?\N-Yes.

[Bisi in Yoruba] This is serious

Nonso didn't do all this\None when I was with him.

He didn't treat me like\Nthis when I was with him.

-Aren't you lucky?\N-Yes. I am.

Well, so was I until I became his ex.

Well, that's too bad for\Nyou though, but not for me.

Let me tell you something.

[Bisi burps]

Better enjoy it while it lasts.

I definitely will, because I\Nbelieve it will last forever.

See, you can keep telling yourself that.

But you and I we both know that nothing,

in fact, love does not last forever.

You know how they say what\Nyou believe works for you?

I believe Nonso and I are\Ngoing to last forever.

[Bisi chuckles]

[in Yoruba] It's people like you that\Nwill say love lasts forever,

later now you will go back on twitter

And be tweeting "Men are scum",\N"Scum is shit", "Love is bastard"

"Man is rubbish"

[in Yoruba] Nonsense!\NBe deceiving yourself.

[dramatic music]

Sweetheart, I obviously don't understand

what you just said, but I\Ncan tell you for a fact,

you're just jealous because I have Nonso.

[in Yoruba] Eh? Me? Jealous? [laughs]

My dear, you can have\Nhim, I dash him to you.

You can take him, eat\Nhim, I gift him to you.

Look, let me tell you something,

I was always more interested\Nin his money than love.

[upbeat music]

Guy, why would you even\Nput the ring inside the soup?

I don't know where I\Ngot that stupid idea from.

[upbeat music]

Ah!

The ring!

[dramatic music]

Babe, I was about to come look for you.

I was doing number two.

[Bisi in Yoruba] Dirty Man

So I see that you've\Nsuddenly become Mr. romantic.

For this one, I would give the universe,

the skies and the stars.

-[lip smacking] I love you baby.\N-I love you.

I love you more.

[Bisi hisses]

[Jay exhales]

Oh my goodness.

You know this is going to\Nbe longer than I expected.

I know right?

[dramatic music]

What?

Why are you staring at me?

I was actually staring\Nat the painting behind you.

[dramatic music]

Of course.

It's beautiful.

Well, not as beautiful as you.

You know what? I think\NI should check up on them.

You're still not staring?

[Jay chuckles]

[dramatic music]

What are you doing?

Umm!

I was just…

looking for tripe.

Babe, there's tripe in your plate

-Oh.\N-Yeah. [chuckles]

-I didn't even see it.\N-[both laugh]

[dramatic music]

[Bisi chokes]

I'm sure she's fine.

[dramatic music]

I think I swallowed something.\NI swallowed. [coughs]

-She's okay.\N-I swallowed something.

Here, have some water. Have some water.

[Nonso] The ring.

Bisi!

[Nonso] listen to me. Come with me.

[Nonso] Bisi, come with me now, okay.

Bisi, come with me right now.

-[Chioma] Drink some water\N-[Bisi coughs]

Trust me, she's fine baby.

-Come with me. Come.\N-[Bisi coughs]

[Bisi in Yoruba] What is it?\NWhat now, Ahh!

Do you want to injure me?\NWhy did you drag me here?

Listen okay, just listen to me.

I was going to propose to Chioma today,

but then you swallowed\Nthe engagement ring.

Huh?

[in Yoruba] Nonso. Please in the name\Nof God, tell me you're joking?

I'm not joking.\NListen, I was going to propose to her

and then she came\Nunexpectedly and I got nervous

and I mistakenly put the ring in the soup.

But then I thought, okay,

when she's eating

I can use that one to\Njust propose to her and then

Ah, am I going to die?

No you're not gonna die, Bisi.

What if the ring goes\Nand tears my intestine

Can you stop with the drama.\NYou've started again.

Hey God!

Wait.

[in Yoruba] Nonso, so in other words,\Nin other words,

your ring is in my stomach?

[Nonso] First of all, none\Nof this would have happened

if you did not show up\Nhere uninvited, Bisi.

What kind of a foolish person\Neven puts a ring inside soup?

That's the dumbest, most stupid, craziest,

daftest, idioticest

Listen to me. You know\Nwhat's going to happen now?

What's gonna happen now is that\Nwe're gonna go back in,

you're going to smile\Nlike nothing happened.

And then later on,

later on…

I would go and get you\Nlaxative so that you can.

Can do what?

So that you can shit it out.

[Bisi laughs] Hehehe

Nonso, wait.

You will wait for me to shit?

-Yes. That's a great idea.\N-[Bisi laughs]

[laughs sarcastically]\N[in Yoruba] Nonso will not kill me.

Then you will now use that shit ring,

A shit ring to propose to your girlfriend?

It is not a shit ring,\Nit is an expensive ring

and I'm not stupid.

[Nonso] Of course I will disinfect\Nit before I give it to her.

Shut up. How much is the ring\Nthat you are making noise?

It cost a lot. Forget about that.

[Bisi mimics Nonso] "Cost a lot."

How much is a lot that\Nyou want to stress me.

Did they tell you I want to purge.

See, listen, okay. That's not important.

What's important is the fact\Nthat my girlfriend's ring

is inside your stomach right now.\NForget about how much.

[in Yoruba] Mr, Please talk!\NHow much is your ring?

I can buy it for you. I can give you

You can't give me the money.

You can give me $22,000?

Huh?

$22,000?

Shut up.

[dramatic music]

[utensils crashes]

[face slapping]

Slap me again.

[dramatic music]

[Bisi] Babe, what are you looking at?

It's nothing.

So what are you hiding?

It's nothing. What's up?

Show me your hands.

There's nothing in my hands.

Let me see please.\NPlease, Let me see. What are you hiding?

Oh my God. Is that for me?

No. Not yet.

Not yet.

[in Yoruba] Is this one crazy?

Okay, can I see it?

-Bisi.\N-Please bring it, let me look at it

Babe! It's so beautiful.

And it looks like really expensive.

Of course it's expensive.

[in Pidgin] This is the kind of ring\Nyou sell when you are broke.

And use the money to solve yours problems

[Bisi laughs]

Okay. So when are you proposing to me?

No, or better still, when\Nare we getting married?

Adebisi Oladipupo, can you slow down?

Slow down?

For what?

I need to call my best friend\Nso we can start planning.

Can you just cut the crap?

You see that I'm mourning my mom

and you're here talking\Nabout an engagement.

As in, are that insensitive?

Don't you have any respect for the dead?

Okay. So what's gonna happen to the ring?

Give me my ring please.

You know what? It's okay.

Continue to mourn your mommy.

I'm done. Rubbish!

[in Yoruba] Unfortunate person,\Nlook at him, big head.

[hisses]

Wait,

Is this the diamond ring\Nthat your late mom gave you?

Yes, it is.

Ah! Nonso I swear to God you're wicked.

How am I wicked?

Nonso, I dated you for five years.

[whispers] Here we go again.

Five solid years, and you didn't think

I was good enough for\Nyou to give me this ring,

but she's worth it?

I never said that you\Nwere not good enough, Bisi.

Okay.

I was good enough, but\Nyou didn't deem it fit

to give me the ring.

[Bisi] What, is it because\Nshe's Igbo and I'm Yoruba?

[Nonso] Don't bring tribe into it.

Listen Bisi, this has\Nnothing to do with tribe.

Me and you we tried and it didn't work out

and I moved on period.

Okay. You moved on, period.

That's nice to know.

Well, guess what Nonso?

I think it's time for me too to move on.

[dramatic music]

[Bisi laughs and claps]

Wait, come to think of it,

I wasted five years with you,\Nyou did not give me this ring,

but my God above, the one true living God

that I cry to in the\Nwilderness has done it

that this ring circled\Nit's way back to me.

Nonso, thank you very much.

Thank you very much.

I think it's time for me to also move on.

Let me leave with my ring.

Bisi, come now.

What do you mean by you're leaving?\NWhat do you mean by that?

Get away with your nonsense. Get out

[in Yoruba] What's all this rubbish?\NSaying Bisi come

Come and do what?

[in Yoruba] It will not be well\Nwith you, unfortunate person

Bisi where are you--

-Get out.\N-Come back here, man.

-[Nonso] Bisi!\N-[Bisi] God has done it for me.

I'm leaving please, Get out.\NLet me leave this place.

-[dramatic music]\N-Nonso. [shouts]

Nonso, what's going on?

[Nonso] Babe, listen, I will\Nexplain to you later, but don't get angry.

Nonso get out of my way let me go.

Nonso please, let her leave.

No.\NListen babe, I will explain to you later,

but she can't go anywhere.

-It's getting crazy.\N-[Nonso] I will explain to you later,

but she can't go anywhere, babe.

[Bisi] See, I'm telling him to let me go

-he's not allowing me.\N-Nonso stop being so aggressive.

Can you let her go?

[Chioma] Nonso if you don't\Nlet her go, I'll leave.

[Nonso] Babe I'm sorry, I will\Nexplain to you later, please.

-Chioma, wait please.\N-[Bisi] She is leaving.

-[Nonso] Stay here.\N-[Bisi] Stay where?

[Nonso] Stay here.

-[Nonso] Chioma! Stay here.\N-[Bisi shouts]

Chioma.

[in Yoruba] Something is wrong with\Nyou. Where is my bag?

[Jay whispering]

So we're just supposed to stay here\Nand not do anything?

-Yes.\N-What do you mean "yes"?

For now.

[dramatic music]

[Jay] if he needs us, he will call us.

[Cynthia] I think they need us

[Jay] Wait!

Bisi is crazy. You don't know Bisi.

That girl is madness.

-Oh I'm madness too.\N-Girl.

[dramatic music]

[Bisi] Rubbish! Nonsense! [hisses]

[dramatic music]

Uhn uhn

[Chioma crying]

[Cars passing]

Babe, wait!

Babe, please.

[in Yoruba] Nonso! Open this door please.

Which kind of rubbish is this now?

Nonso.

Baby let me explain. I can explain.

Explain what?

That you're still sleeping with your ex?

No!

[stuttering]

Um, what?

-Babe listen okay,\N-[music]

It is not what you think.

I promise you that it can never be that.

I met you two years ago and\Nyou've been nothing but amazing.

Alright?

You've captivated my heart\Nwith your compassion,

with your love, with your kindness.

And oh now, this is not how\NI planned to do this speech.

What speech?

Listen, the thing is, since\NI met you two years ago,

Since I met you two years ago,

you've shown me love in a way\Nthat I've never experienced.

You've captivated my heart\Nwith your compassion,

with your kindness, with…

Oh No! I've forgotten my speech.

What speech?

Listen Chioma Amadi, what I'm\Ntrying to say to you is that

you've made me complete in a way

that I didn't think was humanly possible.

-When we're together,\N-[romantic music swells]

I feel like we're whole.

And I want to spend the\Nrest of my life with you.

I want to see you in the\Nmorning when I wake up,

and I want you to be by my\Nside at night before I sleep.

And, I know everything\Nmight sound a little bit

munched up together, but what\NI'm trying to ask you is,

would you marry me?

-[music stops abruptly]\N-[Chioma gasps]

What?

Yes. Would you be my wife?

-[Chioma cries]\N-[music starts again]

-Is that a yes?\N-[Chioma] Yes.

[lip smacking]

-Your make up is all over my face\N-[Chioma] I know

Yes!

This is the part where\Nyou put the ring baby.

The ring.

[Chioma laughs]

Okay. So, um, the thing about it is like,

there's a ring, you know, but

Where is it?

Babe, I have the most\Nbeautiful ring for you,

but right now it's not with me.

So where is it?

-[Nonso laughs]\N-Where baby?

-[Nonso] You love me, right?\N-Yes.

Okay. Um.

Bisi swallowed it

Wait, what?

[comedy music]

Neighbors! [Bangs window]

Hey, God. This guy.

[Bisi] Help!

He kidnapped me, help!

Help.

Nonso, open this door please. Ahh

[dramatic music]

-What do you think you're doing?\N-[Bisi screams]

[Knife drops]

[in Yoruba] Where did these ones\Ncome out from?

So Cynthia was aware of the\Nwhole plan from the beginning?

-Yes, I admit Cynthia, Jay,\N-Wow.

they both helped me plan the whole thing.

What's so amazing is\Nshe did not drop one hint.

I had no idea.

I would be surprised if\Nshe gave you a hint though.

Well, well that also means she can lie

and get away with it.

Relax.

But Babe for real, the ring,

what's going to happen?

Okay. So

I'm gonna get Jay to go to the pharmacy

to get some laxatives to give Bisi

so that she can get it out.

Wait, what?

Babe, are you really trying to give me

the ring she poops out?

Yeah. So what were you expecting?

What do you want me to do?

Umm, I don't know.

I was thinking maybe we\Nforget that one in her stomach

and get me a new one.

Listen babe, that ring has\Nso much sentimental value to me

because my mom gave it\Nto me before she passed.

I wanted to give it to you\Nbecause it's special to me.

Babe.

You're so sweet.

I love you.

[Chioma and Nonso] I said it first.

I said it first.

[gentle music]

[dramatic music]

So, what's the plan?

The instruction says one pill per dose.

Yeah.

But

But what?

I'm going to give her two or three.

-Why now?\N-What do you mean "Why now"?

For fast and furious quick action.

[Chioma whispering]

Shh.

Here you go. Laxatives.

[mimics in Yoruba] "Here you go"\NMad man!

You know I'm not going\Nto take that, right?

And you can't force me.

Bisi, you need to take the laxative\Nso you shit my ring out.

-It's my ring.\N-Come and make me shit it now.

Babe, wait.

Babe wait, babe wait.

She'll take it. You have to take it.

Listen, I got this.\NI got this. I got this.

Listen, Bisi.

-Just relax.\N-My ring.

There are two ways you\Ncan go about this, okay?

[Nonso] You can do this the easy way,

which is you take this\Nlaxatives right now.

You go into that toilet,\Nyou shit out my ring

and then we all live happily ever after.

Or the hard way is that\NI will call the police,

I will let them know that\Nyou broke into my house.

-You harassed me and my fiance.\N-Thief.

You stole my engagement ring

and you don't want to shit it out.

Trust me, they will arrest you.

But you know that that's a lie now.

I'll just claim innocence, please.

[in Yoruba] Don't lie against me,\Nplease in God's name.

You know that at the end of the day\Nit's going to be your word against mine.

[Group] Ours!

[dramatic music]

-Four?\N-You don't even know anything yet.

That's what it says.

We don't have time please.

[in Yoruba] Will you keep quiet?

Hmm

[tense music]

[hisses]

What if I don't shit the ring?

-[Nonso] Hey!\N-[Jay] Swallow!

[dramatic music]

[exclaims]

Hope you are happy now?\NMad people [in Yoruba]

[mimics] Shit the ring.

You too will collect a shit ring?

[Bisi hisses]

If I'm thinking correctly.

[dramatic music]

Okay.

Guy, what is a baby's\Npotty doing in your house?

See, remember my niece\Nwas here in December, right?

They forgot this and some\Nother kiddies stuff there.

Yes, but what exactly do\Nyou want to do with this?

[dramatic music]

[Jay exclaims] Oh shit!

Exactly. Now hold this.

[sighs] Hope this works.

[Jay laughs]

[dramatic music]

Bisi!

Bisi you can come in now.

All right, here you go.

Take now.

[in Yoruba] Nonso, It is like you are mad.

[in Yoruba] Something is wrong with you.

Wait, you want me to use baby potty?

Baby potty?

-How?\N-Where else do you want to use?

No, do you want to do it here

and then go into the sewers\Nto look for the ring?

-[Bisi laughs sarcastically]\N-Please hurry up.

Nonso, it's like you've forgotten.

You've forgotten I have a big butt.

Like, look at. It's\Nlike you have forgotten.

You can't remember right?\Nyou can't remember.

How am I supposed to use this big butt\Nto sit down on this small potty?

[stomach rumbling]

I can't use this thing.

I'm not using this potty.

-Yes, you are.\N-[Bisi] I'm not.

-Bisi, yes, you are.\N-[Bisi] I said I'm not.

Bisi, yes you are. Hurry up.

I can't use this thing.\NNonso, I can't use this rubbish.

[stomach rumbles]

You see? It looks like it's go time.\NPlease hurry up.

[heist music plays]

Excuse me and do this thing, please.

This boy is crazy. This guy is mad.

I should sit down on a baby potty?!

[tense heist music continues]

Were you able to get it out?

You can go and check for\Nyourself. [kisses teeth]

[Jay laughs]

What?

Why are you staring at me like that?

Come on, man. Can you just go and--

No!

No!

-But--\N-Don't even ask.

[in Pidgin] You are the one who\Nowns the ring. Go and get your ring.

-But guy\N-Guy, Please!

[dramatic music]

I didn't find anything.

Can I go now?

Not until I find my ring,\Nbetter sit down there.

[dramatic music]

Babe

Baby, I'm thinking instead of\Nsearching through her poop,

let doctor take it out surgically.

Let them remove it.

-Surgically?\N-Yes.

You know, that actually\Nsounds like a better idea.

[dramatic music]

[Cynthia yawns] Okay.

As much as I'd like to stay\Nand see how this turns out,

I have an early day at work.

At least some of us have jobs.

-Excuse me.\N-You're leaving?

-[in Yoruba] What?\N-[Jay whispers] Leave her alone.

Going to get my bag.

-Alright babe, thank you.\N-I'm gonna get my bag.

[comedy music plays]

[Jay] You know, this evening

went entirely differently\Nfrom what I expected.

Really?

Yeah.

So you didn't think an\Nex-girlfriend would just

show up to dinner uninvited,\Nswallow an engagement ring

and then have to poop it out.

Oh, that happens every day.

[both laughing]

You know, speaking of\Ndinner, I was wondering,

would you mind if I take you out sometime?

You know, Cynthia, if you keep giving me

that beautiful smile, I might\Njust think I have a chance.

Oh please, stop.

I'm serious.

Well, This is me. I should get going.

Yes. Right after I get my answer.

-Please.\N-[sexy music begins]

Fine. Dinner.

Yes?

[Jay laughs]

Oh!

[gentle music]

Thank you.

Let me get that for you.

[sexy music continues]

So you can stay here for the night

and then in the morning\Nyou'll go to the hospital.

Ah! Hospital, for what?

What do you mean for what?\NTo get this ring surgically removed.

Nonso, so you're just\Ngoing to have them cut me?

Cut me?

To remove your ring?

Let me ask you.

What makes you think..

that I would undergo any surgery

just to have your ring removed?

Well, if you take a shit right now,

you wouldn't need to go to the hospital.

-[Bisi farts]\N-Don't touch me, please.

-[Bisi shouts]\N-Wow, Bisi.

Damn!

[dramatic music]

Where is Chioma?

She's in the bedroom.

Okay.

How far? Give me your drink please.

Listen, Bisi is in the guestroom.

-Okay.\N-She's gonna spend the night there

and I'm going to need you\Nto keep an eye on her.

So basically you're\Nturning me to your guard now?

Jay, come on now.

-You try oh.\N-Jay, please now.

-Who are you texting?\N-Mm?

-Who are you texting?\N-Cynthia.

Oh, okay. That's a good one.\NI mean she's a catch.

Well, I wouldn't say we are there yet,

but I really like her.

The girl is fine. [laughs]

So are you gonna help me?

Don't worry, I'll keep an eye out on her.

I'll make sure she doesn't go anywhere.

Alright.

Cool. Cool, no problem bro.

-Eyes sharp, bro.\N-Alright!

[tense music begins]

[pensive music]

[comedy music begins]

[Jay snoring]

[dramatic music]

[rattles door]

[Jay snoring]

[suspenseful music]

[suspenseful music]

[heist music]

[Bisi whispers]

[driver] Evening oh, my good sister.

[in Pidgin] Please, where are we going?

Mr just check your app, please!

Ahah! Are we fighting?

I'm only just asking where we are going?

Mr, please, the destination should\Nbe on your app.

Don't ask me any silly question please.

It's there. Just leave me alone.

Even if it's there.

At least that one is phone.

This is human being to human being.

That's why I ask where are\Nwe going for confirmation.

[dramatic music]

Nobody has respect for anybody now

[Sandra] Why are you calling me now?

Sandra, how are you?

See, I know that we're\Nquarreling and stuff but,

I just wanted to tell\Nyou I've hit the jackpot.

[Sandra] Jackpot? Did you play lottery?

Lottery as how? Shut up, please.

I'm not talking of lottery.\NI'm just saying that I'm like the latest,

I'm like the latest millionaire\Nin town, like right now.

Like I'm a millionaire babe.

[Bisi farts]

[in Pidgin] What's this about\Nblood money now?

[in Pidgin] I just told you that I\Nhave made money. I'm okay.

[in Pidgin] Don't worry when I come\Nhome, I will give you the gist.

[Sandra] I am not home right now

[in Pidgin] Oh! And\Nmy bag is at Nonso's place.

My key is inside

[Sandra] You and Nonso are back together?

No, we are not back together.

I will give you the gist when I come back.

So where are you now?

[Sandra] I am on an out call\Nservice at Banana island.

[Grunts] I wanted to see if\NI can come and collect the key from you.

[Sandra] It is an overnight call

Ahhh! God oh!

[Bisi] Ermm, okay. You know what\Nwill happen?

I'll just book an hotel.

[Bisi] Please just send me thirty\Nthousand Naira,

when I cash out tomorrow\NI'll give you back.

Okay. Thank you.

I'll see you later.

[Bisi farts]

-[window winds down]\N-[driver sighs]

Madam, with all these farts,

don't shit in my own car oh.

Don't shit on my chair oh.

Who told you that I want to shit?

Which kind of nonsense talk is that?

Mr, just shut up and drive, please.

Oh, I should shut up and drive?\NI should shut up and drive?

Sorry oh, Rihanna.

Asking me who told you I want to shit.

Your fart told me you want to poop.

Your fart told me you want to shit.

I will shut up and drive.

I just want to let you know.

This shit matter, you\Ndon't need to shame for it.

If you wanna shit, speak up.

Speak up.

[upbeat music]

Mr, please just help me pull over please.

Why, what happened?

Please, I want to shit now.

Oh! [laughs]

Oh! You're now doing as\Nif shit have not dropped

from your butt before.

So you do shit?

I thought you have never\Nshit before in your life

the way you're doing [mimicking Bisi].

Someone would think shit has never\Ndropped from your butt before.

[in Pidgin] Mr, If you don't,\NI'm going to shit on your car seat

I am begging you in the name\Nof God, just pull over and park.

Please I want to shit.

Courtesy demands that if you want to\Ntell me to park, you add please.

You add respect to it.

If you don't add respect\Nhow am I gonna park for you.

Mr please now! I am begging you. Please!

I'll poop here. [shouts] It's coming out.

Mr, please park. Mr,\Npull over and park well

Wait, wait.

Wait, don't poop on my car seat.

Don't poop on my car seat oh.

-I am holding it in.\N-Don't poop.

-Now get out!\N-[Bisi shouts]

look at how poop has humbled a slay queen.

[upbeat music]

Evening.

Hello ma, welcome to Abiola Hotel.

Please, do you have any rooms?

Yes we do.\NWe have standard room for ₦15,000

and a deluxe room for ₦22,000.

I'll take standard.

Okay ma. How are you paying?

-Cash, card or transfer?\N-I'll do transfer.

Okay.

[stomach rumbles]

-[dramatic music]\N-[Bisi farts]

[Machine] Floor three

[Machine] Door's opening.

[upbeat music]

[Bisi exclaims]

Aunty, please I forgot the room number.

Room 305, third floor.

305? Thank you.

[dramatic music]

[explosive farting and diarrhea]

[grunting]

[sighs]

Ah! Hey! My butt!

[sighs]

[ring tone]

[receptionist] This is the reception

How can I help you?

Hello, please do you\Nhave disposable gloves?

[receptionist] No we don't

Thank you. [hisses]

[whines and grumbles]

[in Pidgin] How will a hotel like\Nthis not have hand gloves?

[in Pidgin] A hotel like this\Ndoes not have hand gloves?

[in Yoruba] Ahh Bisi! You will dip\Nyour hand inside poop?

Poop? Ahhh

[in Pidgin] But it is my shit.

Bisi, don't have a second\Nthought. It is your shit.

Just dip your hand in and\Nsearch through the poop. [exclaims]

[swirling of faeces]

[upbeat music]

[grunting]

[water running]

[sighs] Oh God!

[water running]

[tense music]

[Bisi yelps]

[ambulance siren blaring]

[dramatic music]

[Bisi] Oh my gosh.

Hi.

[Sales lady] Hello. Good afternoon, ma'am.

So do you have like matching handbags?

The colors that can match these dresses?

Sure. We have yellow,\Nwe have burgundy, we have red.

We have all sorts ma'am.

-Bring everything.\N-Yes ma'am.

Bring everything. I'm here to spend money.

Like, I have money. [laughs]

Oh my gosh. I'm a rich bitch. [laughs]

Quickly.

I have other places to go shop.

It's all right.

Now, I took a second look at your vitals.

Luckily there's just the ankle sprain.

No concussion.

You'll be fine in a couple of days.

Thank you, doctor.

You're welcome.

Doctor wait.

Uhmm

There's something else.

What's that?

Last night I… [splutters]

I swallowed my boyfriend's…

I swallowed my engagement ring

Well, how did it happen?

[in Yoruba] Ahh Doctor,\Nit's a lot to talk about.

See doctor, it's a long story.

But please, can you remove it?

Well, first of all,

we'll have to do an Xray\Nscan to see where the ring is

and then we'll figure out\Nwhat to do from there.

Okay. Thank you, doctor.

You're welcome.

[dramatic music]

[tense music]

-[upbeat music]\N-Oh shit!

Wake up!

-Guy, wake up, man.\N-Guy leave me now.

[Nonso in Pidgin] Guy, are you crazy?

Guy, how far now?\NWhy are you waking me up now?

What's up? Ah ah?

Guy, Bisi is gone.

Huh?

[stutters] Gone how? How? How?

Don't ask me any stupid questions.

Guy you had one job, you\Nwere supposed to watch her.

What's this now?

Guy I'm sorry, man. I was [stuttering]

I'm sorry bro.

I heard you screaming from [coughing]

I heard you screaming from the room.\NAre you okay?

-[Jay sighs]\N-What is it?

-[dramatic music]\N-Bisi is gone.

What do you mean "gone"?

How?

-Sorry.\N-This dummy man.

Baby.

[doctor] How are you feeling?

Doctor, I'm feeling much better.

Like I'm okay. I'm much better.

Good.

Well, we have the results\Nof the Xray scan.

[Bisi laughs]

Well, you actually did

swallow something,

but I'm afraid,

It wasn't your engagement ring.

-[dramatic music]\N-Sir?

Can you see?

[Doctor] See?

[Doctor] It's a bone.

Did you by any chance eat fish last night?

[sighs] Yes. But

That explains it.

The bone is stuck beyond your stomach,

somewhere in your intestines.

No. Doctor no, my ring is inside.

I'm sorry to disappoint.

[doctor] Okay. [sighs]

Ah! Nonso.

[in Yoruba] It won't be well\Nwith Nonso

Bone!

It's ring now.

[Bisi in Pidgin] Oh God! What kind of\Ntrouble is this?

So all that shit.

[in Pidgin] Nonso, It won't be\Nwell with you.

I will write for a gastroenterologist

at the National Specialist Hospital.

They will have to carry\Nout an endoscopy on you

to remove the bone.

[Bisi exclaims]

Okay? So that's it.

[in Yoruba] Ah! What kind of problem\Nis this? Ah Nonso!

[cursing] May thunder strike you!\NGod will punish you.

[light hopeful music]

-[Chioma screams]\N-What?

[Chioma] Baby, I found it!

You found what?

-I found it.\N-You found what now?

Seriously, what did you find?

Wait! Where did you?

No ring. Ah, what kind of problem is this?

[nurse] Hello, we helped you\Ndry clean your clothes.

And here is your phone.

Leave me, please. Ah!

-Should I help you to pack?\N-[Bisi grumbles]

Ah!

[in Pidgin] Me who has already\Ntold Sandra that I am a millionaire.

Ah, God! What will I do now?

Wait!

What did Bisi swallow?

You know what? I don't care.

You found the ring.\NOh my God! I'm so happy.

And it's time for us to actually

do this the proper way, right?

-So [clears throat].\N-[music]

Can you hold this one please?

Chioma Amadi.

It's fine, forget about it.

-It's this.\N-Okay.

-Will you be my wife?\N-Yes. Yes. [laughs]

[gentle music]

[Bisi screams]

[in Yoruba] Nonso, it will\Nnever be well with you.

[Sandra laughs]

Okay. Okay.

Let me get this straight.

So after dealing with all that shit,

[in Pidgin] It was a fish bone you\Nswallowed?

I know right? I am really pained.

[Sandra laughs]

I don't even want to\Nthink too much about it.

[in Pidgin] Bisi, your village\Npeople have cast a spell on you.

Yes of course. Check it out.

After practically going through shit, eww!

You still lose the ring.

[in Pidgin] I didn't lose that ring,\Nthat ring is mine.

[in Pidgin] I didn't lose that\Nring at all

-I swear.\N-[Sandra laughs]

Sandra, I will need your help.

Huh?

Hello.

[Sandra] Hello is this Nonso?

Yeah, hello this is Nonso speaking.\NWho is this?

[Sandra] I am a nurse with\Nthe Lagos State Emergency Response.

I am at your fiance's\Napartment now, Chioma.

She fell down in the bathroom\Nand she's in a very bad shape.

[Nonso exclaims]

[Sandra] Can you come over now?\NLike right now.

Okay, right, I'll be there.

Okay, good.

[hand slapping]

[dramatic music]

[quirky music]

[door knocking]

[dramatic music]

[Chioma] Hold on babe,\Nlet me get this straight.

So a lady called and said

That you were in an accident\Nand it was an emergency

and I needed to get here now.

That's weird.

Super weird.

Why would anyone do that?

I don't know.

I don't know.

No.

-Bisi.\N-No.

I mean, I don't think it's Bisi.

Why would she want to do\Nthat in the first place?

I dunno, maybe she's\Ntrying to get back at us

for the laxatives.

[both laughing]

No.

But on a more serious note,\NI don't think it's Bisi.

If it was Bisi, first of all

I would have recognized\Nher voice when she called.

How about that?

Look, I can't think of anyone else.

Did you call the number back?

Actually, no.

-Anyway.\N-Babe.

Let me try.

Anyway, I'm fine.

Glad you're here.

[Woman] We apologize, this\Nnumber can not receive calls

at the moment.

Please try again later. Thank you.

[pan sizzling]

[knock at the door]

[Bisi using male voice shouts]\NIInside, move.

Move.

-[dramatic music]\N-[Bisi] My friend! Inside. Go.

Move it.

Get down. Get down.

[in Pidgin] Sit here

Freeze. Don't move.

-Freeze! I said don't move.\N-[Chioma pleading]

Hey, you, come here. Move.

Move.

Now kneel down.

Kneel down.

Let's hurry, I don't like this

Yeah.

Please don't hurt us.\NPlease, we'll give you anything you need.

I have money. I have fifty thousand Naira.\NLet me go and get it.

Stay there, I'll shoot you.

I'll shoot you now.

What if I want something\Nthat is not money?

It's another thing I want.

[both scream] Please don't rape us!

[Bisi shouts] Shut up!

Shut up!

Quiet. Keep quiet.

Hey, shut up.

Give me that your ring.

This ring on your hand.

This ring on your hand, I want it.

Give me the ring.

No, not that one. This one.

Yes. Give it me now.

[Chioma crying] God!

Take anything please,

why you want to take my\Nengagement ring, please?

[Bisi] Just shut up.

I will shoot you oh.

Shoot her.

Give me the ring before I shot you.

-Give me, now.\N-Chioma, do you want to die?

See, me I don't want to die oh.\NGive them the ring now.

If that's what they want, give them.

This ring is so important.

It's my fiance's dead mom's ring.

It's the only memory he has of her.\NPlease.

Give me that ring now before I shoot.

Shoot.

-Wait.\N-[Cynthia screaming]

Chioma give them the ring.\NChioma please, give them the ring.

Give them the ring.

Chioma, just give them the ring.

Chioma give them the ring.

Okay, wait!

Chioma, look at me.

Look, give them the ring.

Give them the ring.

Give them the ring.

Just take it off. She'll give it to you.

Take.

Let me see it.

So this is the ring you\Nsaid it is worth millions?

How do you know the\Nring is worth millions?

Shut up.

Give me that ring.

Give me that ring. Nonsense\Ngirl, give me that ring.

-[Chioma and Cynthia screaming]\N-[upbeat music]

I'll shoot you.

Give me that ring, I'll shoot you.

I will shoot you. Give me that ring.

[Chioma] Bisi?

-Bisi?\N-You again.

You again?

Ah!

[Sandra in Pidgin[ We have been exposed.\NBisi, I warned you.

Bisi, why are you doing this now?

[Bisi] Give me that ring now.

-Wait, listen, we'll come to an agreement.\N-[Sandra] Bisi I warned you

[Bisi] Give me that\Nring or I'll shoot you.

-No don't shoot.\N-I will shoot you.

-[gun fires]\N-[Chioma shouts]

Huh? Toy gun?

Toy gun. Toy gun.

No.

[thudding]

[Bisi shouting]

Get out.

[dramatic music]

[Bisi] Sandra!

Sandra.

Bisi welcome oh.

[in Pidgin] So you just left me and\Nran back home to come and eat Amala.

[in Pidgin] Oh please, I\Ncannot kill myself because of a ring.

I cannot kill myself because of a ring.

So if those girls had killed\Nme, what would you have said?

No problem.

Let me join you in eating\Nsome of the Amala.

You want to eat?

I am starving now

No, go back on your quest for ring.

Damn, those girls are so strong

[hopeful music]

[Jay] See, Nonso has always\Nbeen the kind of friend

you call when you're in trouble.

You can always count on him.

No matter how complicated the problem is,

Nonso is always first\Nin line to lend a hand.

Chioma, he's found his match in you.

I'm so excited that you guys\Nare taking the next step

in your relationship.

And I can't wait to be\Nstanding next to you

when you say your "I Dos."

Chioma, Nonso.

may your love be as deep as the ocean,

and your troubles…\Nas light as its bubbles.

[Chioma and Nonso laugh]

To the future bride and groom.

To Chioma and Nonso.

-Cheers guys\N-[glasses clinks]

Cheers baby.

Get a room.

[Chioma and Nonso laughing]

Oh my god!

[Jay] Sorry guys, one minute.

Hey!

Hey.

You know, I know that look.

What look?

That look you gave me.

I know what it means.

What does it mean?

You want to kiss me right now, don't you?

I'd love to.

So what are you waiting for?

[gentle music]

♪ Love is beautiful ♪

♪ When you find someone\NWho can touch your heart ♪

♪ And soul ♪

♪ My love oh! My love oh! ♪

♪ I've been struck by your cupid arrows ♪

♪ It's like you are a magician ♪

♪ Because your touch is magical ♪

♪ When you look into my eyes ♪

♪ It's my love you see ♪

♪ The feeling that I get is magical ♪

♪ Baby your love is magical ♪

♪ I salute oh I ♪

♪ I salute oh I, I salute\Nfor this your love ♪

♪ The way you love is magical ♪

♪ I salute oh I ♪

♪ I salute oh I, salute\Nfor this your love ♪

♪ It's the way you hold me ♪

♪ Oh, the way you touch me ♪

♪ Oh, it is way you love me ♪

♪ Nobody make me feel like this ♪

♪ So my ATM I surrender ♪

♪ My bank account is now yours ♪

♪ My body I surrender ♪

♪ Do with me as you want ♪

♪ It's like you are a magician ♪

♪ Because your touch is magical ♪

♪ When you look into my eyes ♪

♪ It is my love you will see ♪

♪ The feeling that I get is magical ♪

♪ Baby your love is magical ♪

♪ I salute ♪

Subtitle translation by: Adefoluke Adebayo