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1
00:00:05,138 --> 00:00:06,550
Samantha...
2
00:00:06,574 --> 00:00:09,219
what did you say the name
of this establishment is?
3
00:00:09,243 --> 00:00:10,220
Mario's.
4
00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:11,855
Mario's.
5
00:00:11,879 --> 00:00:13,357
I'm amazed.
6
00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:16,159
This is the best Italian
food I've had this century.
7
00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:17,461
It is good.
8
00:00:17,485 --> 00:00:18,628
Mmm.
9
00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:21,164
Just taste this veal marsala.
10
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:24,668
Only on the condition
that you taste the fettuccini.
11
00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:26,558
It's a deal!
12
00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:31,162
Mother.
13
00:00:32,900 --> 00:00:34,210
Mmm!
14
00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:35,512
Delicious!
15
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,180
Mmm.
16
00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:39,004
Superb.
17
00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:49,359
Ladies, excuse me.
I would like to know.
18
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:50,627
Everything satisfactory?
19
00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:51,995
It certainly is.
20
00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:53,963
Please pay our
compliments to the chef.
21
00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:54,964
Thank you.
22
00:00:54,988 --> 00:00:56,099
You're the chef?
23
00:00:56,123 --> 00:00:59,068
I am Mario's chef,
Mario's waiter,
24
00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:01,605
Mario's cashier,
Mario's everything.
25
00:01:01,629 --> 00:01:04,474
To make a long story
short, I am Mario.
26
00:01:04,498 --> 00:01:06,376
Why don't you have hired help?
27
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,779
Signora, you see,
business is so terrible,
28
00:01:08,803 --> 00:01:10,313
I am the only one I can afford.
29
00:01:10,337 --> 00:01:13,016
You mean, with such superb food
30
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:14,551
at such reasonable prices...
31
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,252
I will put it in one word.
32
00:01:16,276 --> 00:01:17,253
Hmm?
33
00:01:17,277 --> 00:01:18,277
Pizza.
34
00:01:19,313 --> 00:01:20,857
Pizza?
35
00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:22,292
Si. Pizza.
36
00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:24,961
You see... Excuse me.
37
00:01:24,985 --> 00:01:27,096
In the confusion
of this atomic age,
38
00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:28,565
people who are not Italian,
39
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,934
and they want to
order Italian food,
40
00:01:30,958 --> 00:01:32,636
they don't order
veal scaloppini,
41
00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:33,870
fettuccini a la Bolognese.
42
00:01:33,894 --> 00:01:34,871
No!
43
00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:35,939
They want pizza!
44
00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:37,874
But it isn't even on your menu.
45
00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:40,076
It's not going to be. Oh, no!
46
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,979
I belong to a family
of men who have been
47
00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:45,048
artists in the kitchen
for five generations.
48
00:01:45,072 --> 00:01:48,084
And I modestly belong
to this glorious tradition.
49
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:51,688
So I refuse, I refuse to
slap it in the face with pizza.
50
00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:53,056
This makes sense, no?
51
00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:54,190
Absolutely!
52
00:01:54,214 --> 00:01:55,892
And it makes no difference.
53
00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:59,062
Because my restaurant
is going to fail.
54
00:01:59,086 --> 00:02:00,831
My wife and children
are going to starve.
55
00:02:00,855 --> 00:02:04,523
And today's dessert
is zabaglione.
56
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:13,810
I don't ordinarily feel
sorry for human beings.
57
00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:16,079
But I do feel sorry for him.
58
00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:17,469
So do I.
59
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,285
I think I'll ask Darrin to help.
60
00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:23,620
How?
61
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:24,821
Washing dishes?
62
00:02:24,845 --> 00:02:27,357
Mario's isn't a success
63
00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:29,292
because the public
doesn't know about it.
64
00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:31,461
Advertising is
Darrin's business.
65
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:34,263
Informing the public is
Darrin's stock in trade.
66
00:02:34,287 --> 00:02:36,299
Hardly.
67
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:38,067
His stock in trade
68
00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:41,004
is contributing to the
delinquency of my daughter.
69
00:02:41,028 --> 00:02:42,105
Mother?
70
00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:43,106
What?
71
00:02:43,130 --> 00:02:45,375
You're a tough woman.
72
00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:48,834
You're a great witch,
but you're a tough woman.
73
00:03:51,765 --> 00:03:52,976
Hi, honey.
74
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,945
Welcome home, my hero.
75
00:03:54,969 --> 00:03:56,279
Your hero is pooped.
76
00:03:56,303 --> 00:03:58,181
Routine overwork
or special crisis?
77
00:03:58,205 --> 00:03:59,515
Both.
78
00:03:59,539 --> 00:04:01,885
We have an important new
client for whom we're planning
79
00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:05,822
a major saturation
campaign, and he...
80
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:07,156
No. "No" what?
81
00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:09,358
No, I won't bring
my problems home.
82
00:04:09,382 --> 00:04:10,827
I will leave them at the office
83
00:04:10,851 --> 00:04:12,796
like the mature
executive I wish I were.
84
00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:14,464
Now, how did your day go?
85
00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:16,066
Oh, just wonderfully.
86
00:04:16,090 --> 00:04:19,168
Mother and I went to the most
marvelous Italian restaurant
87
00:04:19,192 --> 00:04:21,571
called Mario's...
This guy's a real tiger.
88
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:22,572
Who?
89
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,007
Linton Baldwin.
90
00:04:24,031 --> 00:04:25,441
It's a new account.
91
00:04:25,465 --> 00:04:27,543
He goes through
advertising agencies
92
00:04:27,567 --> 00:04:30,046
like women go
through new dresses.
93
00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:32,181
I'm sorry. A
restaurant called what?
94
00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:34,550
Mario's. The food is superb.
95
00:04:34,574 --> 00:04:36,720
Mother had veal
marsala and I had...
96
00:04:36,744 --> 00:04:39,388
In the past three weeks,
he's changed agencies twice.
97
00:04:39,412 --> 00:04:40,924
Darrin. Hmm?
98
00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:43,793
You're not exactly leaving
your problems at the office.
99
00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:45,194
I'm sorry, sweetheart.
100
00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:47,097
It's on my mind. I
just can't shake it.
101
00:04:47,121 --> 00:04:48,598
Don't fight it.
102
00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:51,567
You tell me about Mr. Baldwin
and I'll tell you about Mario's.
103
00:04:51,591 --> 00:04:53,302
Okay? Okay.
104
00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:56,139
Linton Baldwin is the shining
light of the pizza industry.
105
00:04:56,163 --> 00:04:58,775
No kidding? No kidding.
106
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:01,377
He owns the largest chain of
pizza parlors on the West Coast.
107
00:05:01,401 --> 00:05:03,212
And now he's expanding
to the East Coast.
108
00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:05,314
He wants McMann and
Tate to get him off the ground
109
00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:06,582
with flying tomato paste.
110
00:05:06,606 --> 00:05:10,586
Darrin, you have no idea
what a coincidence this is.
111
00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:13,623
Mario was saying that pizza's
putting him out of business.
112
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,091
Why?
113
00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:20,063
Well, in this atomic
age when non-Italians...
114
00:05:20,087 --> 00:05:22,899
Honey, take a look
at this newspaper ad.
115
00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:25,268
It runs in tomorrow
morning's paper.
116
00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:26,870
Uh-huh.
117
00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:30,239
Tell me what you think.
118
00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:33,076
"Perfect Pizza"? That's
the name of the product.
119
00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:37,947
Darrin, would you consider
a pizza parlor a restaurant?
120
00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:39,816
I guess so.
121
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,450
Well, sure. Why?
122
00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:44,187
Well, obviously you believe a
good way to inform the public
123
00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:45,621
that a restaurant exists
124
00:05:45,645 --> 00:05:47,724
is by taking out an ad
in the newspaper, right?
125
00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:49,159
Right. Oh.
126
00:05:49,183 --> 00:05:52,762
Sweetheart, I'm going to drown
my sorrows in a hot shower.
127
00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:56,199
Thank you for being so
sympathetic and patient.
128
00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:57,223
Anytime.
129
00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:08,244
Now... let me see.
130
00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:14,818
"For the finest in Italian
cuisine, eat at Mario's."
131
00:06:14,842 --> 00:06:19,789
"Treat your taste buds to
lunch or dinner at Mario's."
132
00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:22,092
No. Keep it simple.
133
00:06:22,116 --> 00:06:24,260
"Eat at Mario's."
134
00:06:24,284 --> 00:06:25,695
That's it!
135
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,585
"Eat at Mario's."
136
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,899
Good morning, sweetheart.
137
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:05,468
Now, let's see how
my ad looks in print.
138
00:07:05,492 --> 00:07:08,037
Ah, here we are.
139
00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:10,774
One-quarter page
of advertising genius.
140
00:07:10,798 --> 00:07:11,775
Gorgeous!
141
00:07:11,799 --> 00:07:13,042
Now eat your breakfast.
142
00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:14,577
It's not bad.
143
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,001
Not bad at all.
144
00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:19,949
That's a full-page ad.
145
00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:21,450
Mm-hmm.
146
00:07:21,474 --> 00:07:24,154
A full-page ad for an
individual restaurant.
147
00:07:24,178 --> 00:07:25,388
Mm-hmm.
148
00:07:25,412 --> 00:07:27,657
Whoever took that
out must be nuts.
149
00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:28,758
Why do you say that?
150
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,927
Do you know how much
a full-page ad costs?
151
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,628
No. How much?
152
00:07:32,652 --> 00:07:34,752
It costs...
153
00:07:37,757 --> 00:07:38,757
Yes, dear?
154
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:42,939
Sam, isn't Mario's the
place you ate yesterday?
155
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,029
Yes.
156
00:07:45,299 --> 00:07:47,265
Sam, you didn't
by any chance...?
157
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:52,071
Sam?
158
00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:56,752
You didn't...
159
00:07:56,776 --> 00:07:59,144
put an extra page in
the newspaper, did you?
160
00:08:01,548 --> 00:08:02,548
Sam!
161
00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:05,651
Well...
162
00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:09,799
Sam, you promised
never to do that again.
163
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:12,368
He's such a nice man.
164
00:08:12,392 --> 00:08:13,970
I only wanted to help.
165
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:15,604
When is this going to end?
166
00:08:15,628 --> 00:08:19,209
I was only trying to inform
the public that Mario's exists.
167
00:08:19,233 --> 00:08:21,610
And in case you were wondering,
168
00:08:21,634 --> 00:08:24,247
a full-page ad my way
doesn't cost a nickel.
169
00:08:24,271 --> 00:08:25,514
I wasn't wondering.
170
00:08:25,538 --> 00:08:27,183
Darrin, are you upset?
171
00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:28,617
Of course I'm upset!
172
00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:30,619
Because my ad's
bigger than your ad?
173
00:08:30,643 --> 00:08:31,687
Guess again.
174
00:08:31,711 --> 00:08:33,122
Because you think
175
00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:35,413
that taking out an ad
by witchcraft is cheating.
176
00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:37,660
That's closer.
177
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:40,163
Because I think taking out
an ad by witchcraft is criminal!
178
00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:41,664
Crimi...?
179
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:42,999
But why?
180
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:45,801
I didn't replace a
page, I only added one.
181
00:08:45,825 --> 00:08:46,802
Whom did I hurt?
182
00:08:46,826 --> 00:08:49,805
Whom did you hurt, she asks.
183
00:08:49,829 --> 00:08:51,174
You hurt the publisher
184
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:53,609
who offers advertising
space to make money.
185
00:08:53,633 --> 00:08:55,478
You also hurt the
other advertisers
186
00:08:55,502 --> 00:08:58,748
who resent paying for something
that somebody else gets free.
187
00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:01,084
You also hurt the
United States of America,
188
00:09:01,108 --> 00:09:05,121
a democracy whose economic
system is called capitalism.
189
00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:08,992
Oh. Well, those are good
points. I should've thought of them.
190
00:09:09,016 --> 00:09:10,493
Well, why didn't you?
191
00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:15,031
I was so anxious to help
Mario get some customers.
192
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,400
His food really is wonderful.
193
00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:19,668
He deserves to be a success!
194
00:09:19,692 --> 00:09:22,372
I promise I won't do
anything like that again.
195
00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:24,407
Good.
196
00:09:24,431 --> 00:09:26,242
Am I forgiven?
197
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:27,743
I guess so.
198
00:09:27,767 --> 00:09:29,047
I like your motives.
199
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,847
But I don't like you
drumming up business
200
00:09:31,871 --> 00:09:34,284
for one of Perfect
Pizza's competitors.
201
00:09:34,308 --> 00:09:35,751
Mario doesn't serve pizza.
202
00:09:35,775 --> 00:09:37,520
Well, I'm glad to hear that.
203
00:09:37,544 --> 00:09:39,855
Then maybe your husband's
client won't be jealous.
204
00:09:39,879 --> 00:09:41,424
Good.
205
00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:44,493
I hope.
206
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:48,998
How come Perfect
Pizza gets a quarter page,
207
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:52,001
and Mario's restaurant, of
which I never even heard of,
208
00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:53,436
gets a full page?
209
00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:55,972
Mr. Baldwin, taking out a
full page for a single restaurant
210
00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:57,440
is poor advertising.
211
00:09:57,464 --> 00:10:00,209
We at McMann and Tate don't
put all our eggs in one basket.
212
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:01,677
We diversify.
213
00:10:01,701 --> 00:10:03,346
I'm not selling eggs.
214
00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:06,582
I'm selling 21 delicious
varieties of pizza.
215
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:07,883
We appreciate that.
216
00:10:07,907 --> 00:10:10,420
But nevertheless...
Okay, forget it.
217
00:10:10,444 --> 00:10:12,655
I just wanna make it clear
218
00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:14,991
I don't enjoy playing
second fiddle.
219
00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:18,194
With me, selling pizza
is more than a way
220
00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:21,331
of being a multimillionaire.
221
00:10:21,355 --> 00:10:22,798
It's a public service.
222
00:10:22,822 --> 00:10:24,233
A public service?
223
00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:29,339
As a small boy in Modesto,
California, I had a dream.
224
00:10:29,363 --> 00:10:31,540
A dream of American families,
225
00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:35,544
men, women and children,
sitting together, eating pizza.
226
00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:38,881
Nobody sulking about not
getting the kind they like,
227
00:10:38,905 --> 00:10:41,684
because they chose
from 21 varieties.
228
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:45,210
Just having a hot nutritional
meal and being together.
229
00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:48,458
That's a... an
interesting dream.
230
00:10:48,482 --> 00:10:51,760
I guarantee you that if every
American family went out
231
00:10:51,784 --> 00:10:53,762
for pizza only twice a week,
232
00:10:53,786 --> 00:10:56,366
the national crime and
unemployment rates...
233
00:10:57,491 --> 00:11:00,036
would disappear. Am
I right or am I right?
234
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:01,837
Well, uh...
235
00:11:01,861 --> 00:11:06,075
The irony is that I can't seem
to find an advertising agency
236
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:08,111
who can put that message across.
237
00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:10,146
Er, uh, Mr. Baldwin,
238
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,382
it's almost time for
your show. What show?
239
00:11:12,406 --> 00:11:15,351
Phase two of McMann and
Tate's saturation campaign.
240
00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:18,187
You're the new sponsor
of a local TV game show.
241
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:20,011
Well, now you're talking!
242
00:11:21,781 --> 00:11:23,781
I'll just warm up the set.
243
00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:32,601
Good morning, dear.
244
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:34,037
Good morning, mother.
245
00:11:34,061 --> 00:11:36,805
I just saw your
advertisement for Mario.
246
00:11:36,829 --> 00:11:37,973
You did?
247
00:11:37,997 --> 00:11:40,410
I must tell you I
wasn't very impressed.
248
00:11:40,434 --> 00:11:41,710
Why not?
249
00:11:41,734 --> 00:11:43,913
Ehhh, it's too mundane.
250
00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:47,316
Eat at Mario's.
126 Adams street.
251
00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:49,452
Why, it wasn't even
on the front page.
252
00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:51,921
Now, you should
be more creative.
253
00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:53,822
I thought it was rather good.
254
00:11:53,846 --> 00:11:55,291
Where are you going?
255
00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:56,892
To turn on the television set.
256
00:11:56,916 --> 00:11:59,095
At 10:30 in the morning?
257
00:11:59,119 --> 00:12:01,531
Oh, Samantha!
258
00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:04,600
You're becoming the
typical suburban housewife.
259
00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:05,624
Thank you.
260
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:10,239
Darrin asked me to watch
one of his commercials.
261
00:12:15,768 --> 00:12:17,246
Good morning, game lovers.
262
00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:20,683
It's time to play Your
Guess is as Good as Mine,
263
00:12:20,707 --> 00:12:22,318
brought to you by Perfect Pizza.
264
00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:23,752
That's Darrin's account.
265
00:12:23,776 --> 00:12:25,621
It is?
266
00:12:25,645 --> 00:12:27,823
There's a Perfect
Pizza parlor near you.
267
00:12:27,847 --> 00:12:30,359
Eat it there or take it home.
268
00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:33,563
The quality of the 21
varieties of Perfect Pizza
269
00:12:33,587 --> 00:12:34,763
is perfect.
270
00:12:34,787 --> 00:12:35,787
Cute!
271
00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:40,269
However, if you hate
pizza, as many people do,
272
00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:44,640
try the utterly divine
veal marsala at Mario's,
273
00:12:44,664 --> 00:12:46,431
126 Adams Street.
274
00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:52,415
Now let's introduce
our first guest.
275
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:53,983
Mother!
276
00:12:54,007 --> 00:12:55,017
Why did you do that?
277
00:12:55,041 --> 00:12:57,052
To help Mario.
278
00:12:57,076 --> 00:13:00,590
And to show you what I
meant by being creative.
279
00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:04,860
I demand to know what a
plug for Mario's restaurant
280
00:13:04,884 --> 00:13:07,663
is doing on a program
sponsored by Perfect Pizza!
281
00:13:07,687 --> 00:13:09,865
M-Mr. Baldwin,
I-I-I have no idea.
282
00:13:09,889 --> 00:13:11,501
It must be some kind of payola.
283
00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:13,902
No calls.
284
00:13:13,926 --> 00:13:15,571
We'll conduct an investigation.
285
00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:19,942
You do that, while I
conduct a series of lawsuits.
286
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:21,210
Lawsuits?
287
00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:23,279
I'm gonna sue that TV station.
288
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,515
I'm gonna sue that
wise-guy announcer,
289
00:13:25,539 --> 00:13:28,684
and I'm gonna sue
McMann and Tate!
290
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:31,086
Mr. Baldwin, you gotta give
us a chance to get to the...
291
00:13:31,110 --> 00:13:34,590
You had your chance
and you flubbed the dub.
292
00:13:34,614 --> 00:13:37,426
I'm canceling my account.
293
00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:41,764
Effective
immediately, as of now.
294
00:13:41,788 --> 00:13:43,666
You know who I'm signing with?
295
00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:45,034
No. Who?
296
00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:49,093
The advertising agency who
handles Mario's restaurant.
297
00:13:55,768 --> 00:13:57,280
Mr. Baldwin, wait.
298
00:13:57,304 --> 00:13:58,614
Let's not be hasty.
299
00:13:58,638 --> 00:14:01,172
Alice, get me my wife.
300
00:14:01,774 --> 00:14:02,985
She is?
301
00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:05,020
Put her on.
302
00:14:05,044 --> 00:14:06,922
Samantha, why did you
do it? You promised me.
303
00:14:06,946 --> 00:14:08,457
Darrin, I didn't do it.
304
00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:09,492
Mother did it.
305
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:10,926
Tattletale.
306
00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:12,161
Don't be silly, darling.
307
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,762
What good would
it do to kill her?
308
00:14:13,786 --> 00:14:15,720
I'd come right
back and haunt him.
309
00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:18,656
Will you please be quiet?
310
00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:23,539
He's canceling his account?
311
00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:25,474
He wants to sign with who?
312
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:27,276
But there isn't any!
313
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:32,047
Darrin, how can
he sign... Darrin?
314
00:14:32,071 --> 00:14:35,084
Dar... He hung up on me.
315
00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:36,852
There, you see?
316
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,621
He's no true gentleman.
317
00:14:38,645 --> 00:14:39,622
Mother?
318
00:14:39,646 --> 00:14:41,145
Yes, dear?
319
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:45,316
Congratulations.
320
00:14:46,185 --> 00:14:47,697
You have just won a new client.
321
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:51,122
And I have just
lost an old husband.
322
00:14:55,345 --> 00:14:56,805
Ohhh.
323
00:14:56,829 --> 00:15:00,543
Oh, poor baby.
324
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,411
Oh, don't worry.
325
00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:05,180
Mother will make
everything all right.
326
00:15:05,204 --> 00:15:06,449
How?
327
00:15:06,473 --> 00:15:09,719
We'll make Mr. Pizza
change his mind.
328
00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:11,954
His name is Baldwin,
329
00:15:11,978 --> 00:15:14,679
and I have no idea what he
looks like or where to find him.
330
00:15:16,182 --> 00:15:19,484
Wanna bet he's at Mario's?
331
00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:23,432
In search of revenge?
332
00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:27,169
In search of the name of
Mario's advertising agency.
333
00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:29,505
Would you like to
drop over and look?
334
00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:31,707
Let's. I'll go
upstairs and change.
335
00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:34,310
We haven't time. We'll
change on the way.
336
00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:35,578
Fine. Ready?
337
00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:36,602
After you.
338
00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:42,840
That's my gal!
339
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:47,757
Mister, please, I-I
have no time to chitchat.
340
00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:49,692
I have 36
reservations for lunch.
341
00:15:49,716 --> 00:15:52,995
In other words, your advertising
campaign is really paying off.
342
00:15:53,019 --> 00:15:54,563
How many times
I have to tell you?
343
00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:56,766
I don't know what
you're talking about.
344
00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:58,634
Come on, Mario, be a sport.
345
00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:01,470
All I want is the name of
your advertising agency.
346
00:16:03,062 --> 00:16:04,740
I'm a one-man operation!
347
00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:07,743
You mean, you placed the ad
and the commercial yourself?
348
00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:09,412
I don't place nothing!
349
00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:11,614
Well, then how'd they get there?
350
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:13,683
I plead the fifth amendment.
351
00:16:13,707 --> 00:16:15,150
Look, Mario,
352
00:16:15,174 --> 00:16:17,219
I don't blame you for
not wanting to share
353
00:16:17,243 --> 00:16:19,522
a live-wire organization...
354
00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:22,291
when there are so many
deadbeats like McMann and Tate.
355
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,593
Look, I'll make
you a proposition.
356
00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:25,961
You give me their name,
357
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,996
and I'll amalgamate
you into my chain.
358
00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:29,286
What chain?
359
00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:33,336
"Linton H. Baldwin.
360
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,838
"Chairman of the board.
361
00:16:35,862 --> 00:16:37,306
Perfect Pizza Parlor."
362
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:38,496
Yeah.
363
00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:42,277
Why'd you do that?
364
00:16:42,301 --> 00:16:44,279
Why? Because I don't
wanna be amalga...
365
00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:47,216
Mixed up with
this pizza business.
366
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:48,818
Not even for one
million dollars.
367
00:16:48,842 --> 00:16:50,319
Why not? Why not?
368
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:52,988
Because it's... It's
an insult to humanity.
369
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:56,124
Now, see here, buddy, see here!
370
00:16:56,148 --> 00:16:58,728
As a small boy in
Modesto, California...
371
00:16:58,752 --> 00:17:01,129
Now that I discover
that you are in the pizza,
372
00:17:01,153 --> 00:17:02,798
I order you to
leave the premises.
373
00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:06,691
Wh...?
374
00:17:09,295 --> 00:17:10,373
Who applauded?
375
00:17:10,397 --> 00:17:11,507
I don't know.
376
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,876
Maybe somebody
up there likes me.
377
00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:16,512
Are you implying
that pizza is atheistic?
378
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:20,571
I am implying once more
for you to leave my premises.
379
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:24,453
If it wasn't beneath my dignity,
380
00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:26,922
I'd sue you for
public obscenity.
381
00:17:26,946 --> 00:17:31,215
Oh...
382
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:35,498
Well, we found him.
383
00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:38,100
Now what do we do to get him
back with McMann and Tate?
384
00:17:38,124 --> 00:17:40,403
Well, we'll do the same
thing we did for Mario.
385
00:17:40,427 --> 00:17:42,267
We'll advertise. Oh?
386
00:17:56,175 --> 00:17:57,686
We'll take turns.
387
00:17:57,710 --> 00:17:58,854
You're on. Me?
388
00:17:58,878 --> 00:18:00,311
Yes.
389
00:18:16,195 --> 00:18:17,328
Very nice!
390
00:18:25,237 --> 00:18:26,749
Your turn.
391
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:27,850
Let's see.
392
00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:29,318
Sandwich signs.
393
00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:30,820
Billboards.
394
00:18:30,844 --> 00:18:34,879
I think I'll try skywriting.
395
00:18:59,506 --> 00:19:01,083
Baldwin said he would.
396
00:19:01,107 --> 00:19:02,952
He did.
397
00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:04,353
He did what?
398
00:19:04,377 --> 00:19:08,323
Signed with the agency that
handles Mario's restaurant.
399
00:19:08,347 --> 00:19:09,647
Come look.
400
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,167
Yeah.
401
00:19:19,191 --> 00:19:20,725
Yeah, I guess he did.
402
00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:32,414
Well, what'll
it be, little girl?
403
00:19:32,438 --> 00:19:33,905
I want a Perfect Pizza.
404
00:19:34,807 --> 00:19:35,784
Sorry, no pizza.
405
00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:37,419
Just plain old ice cream.
406
00:19:37,443 --> 00:19:41,779
If I can't have a Perfect
Pizza, I don't want anything.
407
00:19:43,149 --> 00:19:44,827
What'll it be, sonny?
408
00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:46,461
I want a Perfect Pizza.
409
00:19:46,485 --> 00:19:48,263
No pizza.
410
00:19:48,287 --> 00:19:49,965
Only ice cream.
411
00:19:49,989 --> 00:19:53,090
If I can't have a Perfect
Pizza, I don't want anything.
412
00:19:57,530 --> 00:20:01,276
Shades of Modesto, California.
413
00:20:07,406 --> 00:20:10,074
I want Perfect Pizza... too.
414
00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:15,958
Pardon me, ladies.
415
00:20:15,982 --> 00:20:19,428
Did you hear that dog say,
"I want Perfect Pizza too"?
416
00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:20,896
Yes, we did.
417
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:22,898
A talking dog!
418
00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:25,634
It must be some publicity stunt.
419
00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:29,304
Probably arranged by that
live-wire advertising agency,
420
00:20:29,328 --> 00:20:30,305
McMann and Tate.
421
00:20:30,329 --> 00:20:32,841
You know McMann and Tate?
422
00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:34,443
Doesn't everyone?
423
00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:36,712
Well, they're the
best in the business.
424
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:39,548
Whoever owns Perfect
Pizza is lucky to be their client.
425
00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:40,549
Shall we go, dear?
426
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:41,817
Yes, mother.
427
00:20:41,841 --> 00:20:44,252
And let's drop into our
nearest Perfect Pizza Parlor
428
00:20:44,276 --> 00:20:47,712
and lay in a six-month
supply for our family freezer.
429
00:20:56,455 --> 00:20:59,790
Darrin, you know why I
never like to lose an account?
430
00:21:00,893 --> 00:21:01,904
I think so.
431
00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:03,171
Lower profits?
432
00:21:03,195 --> 00:21:04,372
No.
433
00:21:04,396 --> 00:21:06,475
Because I can't
stand to feel rejected.
434
00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:08,043
I learned that in my analysis.
435
00:21:08,067 --> 00:21:10,012
I didn't know you
were analyzed, Larry.
436
00:21:10,036 --> 00:21:11,546
Seven years.
437
00:21:11,570 --> 00:21:15,684
When the doctor told me not to
come back because I was cured...
438
00:21:15,708 --> 00:21:16,774
I felt rejected.
439
00:21:19,578 --> 00:21:21,423
Yes?
440
00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:24,593
Yes, Mr. Tate's
here. Who's calling?
441
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:25,617
Uh, just a second.
442
00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:29,531
Linton H. Baldwin.
443
00:21:31,223 --> 00:21:32,601
Tate speaking.
444
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:36,805
On second thought, I decided
not to switch agencies in midstream
445
00:21:36,829 --> 00:21:38,140
and to stay with you.
446
00:21:38,164 --> 00:21:41,010
He wants us back.
447
00:21:41,034 --> 00:21:44,113
May I ask what prompted
you to change your mind?
448
00:21:44,137 --> 00:21:45,380
The sandwich signs?
449
00:21:45,404 --> 00:21:47,082
A... A billboard?
450
00:21:47,106 --> 00:21:50,218
The skywriting, I saw.
451
00:21:50,242 --> 00:21:52,521
Two kids in the park?
452
00:21:52,545 --> 00:21:53,844
And a talking dog?
453
00:21:55,214 --> 00:21:57,926
Mr. Baldwin, I...
454
00:21:57,950 --> 00:22:00,350
You'll sign a one-year contract.
455
00:22:01,387 --> 00:22:03,866
Uh... hold on.
456
00:22:03,890 --> 00:22:07,335
Mr. Stephens, have we
replaced the Perfect Pizza account
457
00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:09,337
or can we still handle it?
458
00:22:09,361 --> 00:22:12,675
I'll take a look, Mr. Tate.
459
00:22:12,699 --> 00:22:14,743
No, I think we can handle it.
460
00:22:14,767 --> 00:22:16,444
Oh, good.
461
00:22:16,468 --> 00:22:18,180
Mr. Baldwin, you're in luck.
462
00:22:18,204 --> 00:22:19,915
It's a deal.
463
00:22:19,939 --> 00:22:21,471
You're welcome.
464
00:22:23,275 --> 00:22:24,555
We're not rejected.
465
00:22:27,113 --> 00:22:29,257
Hey, mack, how about
a balloon for the kiddies?
466
00:22:29,281 --> 00:22:30,926
No, thanks.
467
00:22:30,950 --> 00:22:34,384
If I can't have Perfect
Pizza, I don't want anything.
468
00:22:36,488 --> 00:22:38,208
Perfect Pizza.
469
00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:42,404
Hi.
470
00:22:42,428 --> 00:22:44,773
I was just passing by,
471
00:22:44,797 --> 00:22:47,475
so I thought I'd
drop in and say hello.
472
00:22:47,499 --> 00:22:48,476
Hello!
473
00:22:48,500 --> 00:22:49,477
Hello.
474
00:22:49,501 --> 00:22:50,746
Hello.
475
00:22:50,770 --> 00:22:53,315
Darrin, what do you
know about that skywriting
476
00:22:53,339 --> 00:22:56,251
and the sandwich
signs and a billboard
477
00:22:56,275 --> 00:22:58,987
and two kids in the
park and a talking dog?
478
00:22:59,011 --> 00:23:02,357
They're all part of Darrin's
campaign for Perfect Pizza.
479
00:23:02,381 --> 00:23:03,458
They are?
480
00:23:03,482 --> 00:23:07,162
Oh. Didn't you tell him?
481
00:23:07,186 --> 00:23:09,832
I was saving it for a surprise.
482
00:23:09,856 --> 00:23:13,035
I didn't wanna get your hopes
up in case it didn't work out.
483
00:23:13,059 --> 00:23:14,269
Well done!
484
00:23:14,293 --> 00:23:16,605
My, you certainly are
a creative executive.
485
00:23:16,629 --> 00:23:18,006
I hope you appreciate him.
486
00:23:18,030 --> 00:23:20,275
I do! I do!
487
00:23:20,299 --> 00:23:23,567
You son of a gun.
488
00:23:31,043 --> 00:23:34,123
Let me suggest veal
scaloppini with mushrooms.
489
00:23:34,147 --> 00:23:36,125
For the children, we
have spaghetti or ravioli.
490
00:23:36,149 --> 00:23:38,493
What would you like?
491
00:23:38,517 --> 00:23:39,661
Mrs. Allen?
492
00:23:39,685 --> 00:23:41,329
Come with me please.
493
00:23:41,353 --> 00:23:46,168
Oh! I'm flattered to be included
in your celebration, Daniel.
494
00:23:46,192 --> 00:23:47,236
Darrin.
495
00:23:47,260 --> 00:23:48,904
Well, I'm delighted
to include you.
496
00:23:48,928 --> 00:23:50,705
Sam tells me it
was all your idea.
497
00:23:50,729 --> 00:23:53,041
Maybe it will be the start
of a beautiful friendship.
498
00:23:53,065 --> 00:23:54,042
Maybe it will.
499
00:23:54,066 --> 00:23:55,343
And I'm deeply grateful.
500
00:23:55,367 --> 00:23:56,478
Although in the future,
501
00:23:56,502 --> 00:23:58,346
I would appreciate
you letting me handle
502
00:23:58,370 --> 00:23:59,614
my campaigns by myself.
503
00:23:59,638 --> 00:24:00,883
Do you think you can?
504
00:24:00,907 --> 00:24:02,417
Of course, he can.
505
00:24:02,441 --> 00:24:05,587
Except in special circumstances,
he needs no help from anyone.
506
00:24:05,611 --> 00:24:07,022
Table for three?
507
00:24:07,046 --> 00:24:08,723
Please. Your name, please?
508
00:24:08,747 --> 00:24:10,325
Stephens.
509
00:24:10,349 --> 00:24:12,494
Do you have a reservation?
510
00:24:12,518 --> 00:24:13,628
No, I'm afraid I don't.
511
00:24:13,652 --> 00:24:15,530
Well, I'm sorry.
Without a reservation,
512
00:24:15,554 --> 00:24:18,967
there'll be a 40-minute wait.
513
00:24:18,991 --> 00:24:22,171
My two customers from
before I am successful, eh?
514
00:24:22,195 --> 00:24:24,239
I remember! How you like, eh?
515
00:24:24,263 --> 00:24:26,441
Luigi, sit down the
ladies and the gentleman.
516
00:24:26,465 --> 00:24:27,910
But they have no reservation.
517
00:24:27,934 --> 00:24:30,578
Luigi, I always reserve
a table for old friends.
518
00:24:30,602 --> 00:24:32,080
This way please. This way.
519
00:24:32,104 --> 00:24:33,648
My, my!
520
00:24:33,672 --> 00:24:35,906
Another special circumstance.
521
00:24:37,710 --> 00:24:40,190
It's all right, sweetheart.
35768
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