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1
00:00:05,989 --> 00:00:06,966
Darrin?
2
00:00:06,990 --> 00:00:08,101
Hmm?
3
00:00:08,125 --> 00:00:09,870
Better hurry up and
change, sweetheart.
4
00:00:09,894 --> 00:00:11,805
We haven't got much time.
5
00:00:11,829 --> 00:00:13,006
Changed? What for?
6
00:00:13,030 --> 00:00:14,875
We're having dinner
at the club, remember?
7
00:00:14,899 --> 00:00:16,777
Oh, I forgot completely.
8
00:00:16,801 --> 00:00:18,278
Would you rather not go?
9
00:00:18,302 --> 00:00:20,179
Oh, no, honey, I'll be fine.
10
00:00:20,203 --> 00:00:21,615
Just let me...
11
00:00:21,639 --> 00:00:23,717
Just let me rest here
for a few minutes.
12
00:00:23,741 --> 00:00:28,254
Darrin, maybe you'd
like a cup of coffee.
13
00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:30,557
Or perhaps you'd prefer a drink.
14
00:00:32,182 --> 00:00:33,816
Darrin?
15
00:00:35,886 --> 00:00:38,164
Oh, what a
lovely-looking couple,
16
00:00:38,188 --> 00:00:40,700
except for him.
17
00:00:40,724 --> 00:00:43,537
Does his mouth always
gape open like that?
18
00:00:43,561 --> 00:00:45,338
Only when he's sleeping.
19
00:00:45,362 --> 00:00:47,206
Oh, Samantha.
20
00:00:47,230 --> 00:00:49,810
I don't understand you at all.
21
00:00:49,834 --> 00:00:52,211
I mean, if you had
to marry a mortal,
22
00:00:52,235 --> 00:00:55,482
at least you could've chosen
a better-looking specimen.
23
00:00:55,506 --> 00:00:57,851
I like the way he looks.
24
00:00:57,875 --> 00:01:00,253
Besides, I didn't marry
Darrin just for his looks.
25
00:01:00,277 --> 00:01:03,056
What else, his
vivacious personality?
26
00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:06,426
No one sparkles
when they're asleep.
27
00:01:06,450 --> 00:01:08,929
Anyway, I think
he's quite handsome.
28
00:01:08,953 --> 00:01:10,396
You're joking.
29
00:01:10,420 --> 00:01:13,066
He's got very good features.
30
00:01:13,090 --> 00:01:14,601
Name one.
31
00:01:14,625 --> 00:01:17,971
Well, he has a nice firm jaw.
32
00:01:17,995 --> 00:01:22,442
You like lantern jaws?
33
00:01:22,466 --> 00:01:24,377
He's got a nice mouth.
34
00:01:24,401 --> 00:01:28,114
"Slack" is a better word.
35
00:01:28,138 --> 00:01:30,817
How about his eyes?
36
00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:33,019
Beady.
37
00:01:33,043 --> 00:01:37,156
But don't despair, dear.
He could be fixed up.
38
00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:38,191
Fixed up?
39
00:01:38,215 --> 00:01:40,494
Yes, it's all very simple.
40
00:01:40,518 --> 00:01:43,429
Now, take that
dank, straight hair.
41
00:01:43,453 --> 00:01:48,456
All it needs is...
Well, I'll show you.
42
00:01:52,396 --> 00:01:54,374
Ew. I don't like that at all.
43
00:01:54,398 --> 00:01:56,576
I haven't finished yet.
44
00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:58,645
He needs coordinating.
45
00:01:58,669 --> 00:02:02,649
Now, if we just
straightened out his nose...
46
00:02:02,673 --> 00:02:05,251
Mother, you've gone far enough.
47
00:02:05,275 --> 00:02:07,976
Oh, don't be stuffy, Samantha.
48
00:02:12,482 --> 00:02:15,395
What do you think he'd
look like with a mustache?
49
00:02:15,419 --> 00:02:17,096
Oh, no.
50
00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:18,732
That wouldn't be right at all.
51
00:02:18,756 --> 00:02:20,567
Just a little one.
52
00:02:20,591 --> 00:02:23,191
Wait, let me show you.
53
00:02:26,163 --> 00:02:27,273
How do you like it?
54
00:02:27,297 --> 00:02:29,297
On him, it looks good.
55
00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:33,435
His hair's too curly.
56
00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:38,406
Oh...
57
00:02:42,512 --> 00:02:43,690
Ooh, the coffee.
58
00:02:43,714 --> 00:02:44,891
What?
59
00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:47,861
Now, don't you do
anything till I get back.
60
00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:50,799
Oh, Mother, will
you answer that?
61
00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:13,508
Yeah.
62
00:03:22,152 --> 00:03:23,730
Is Mr. Stephens at ho...?
63
00:04:31,088 --> 00:04:33,332
That was Gladys Kravitz.
64
00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:36,169
Sometimes I think that
woman's a little strange.
65
00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:37,258
Oh!
66
00:04:39,063 --> 00:04:41,274
Samantha!
67
00:04:42,599 --> 00:04:43,609
Darrin!
68
00:04:43,633 --> 00:04:46,212
Samantha!
69
00:04:46,236 --> 00:04:47,313
It's all right, darling.
70
00:04:47,337 --> 00:04:48,347
There's no need to...
71
00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:50,016
My face! What
happened to my face?
72
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,017
Please stay calm.
73
00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:52,418
It was just a little experiment.
74
00:04:52,442 --> 00:04:53,787
An experiment?
75
00:04:53,811 --> 00:04:55,188
Well, it got a
little out of hand.
76
00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:57,190
Now, darling, there's
nothing to worry about.
77
00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:58,324
I want my old face back!
78
00:04:58,348 --> 00:05:01,127
I want my old face back!
I want my old face back!
79
00:05:01,151 --> 00:05:03,018
Of course you do.
80
00:05:06,090 --> 00:05:08,401
Oh, well, there
you are, sweetheart.
81
00:05:08,425 --> 00:05:09,425
Good as old.
82
00:05:10,293 --> 00:05:11,827
Just a little play on words.
83
00:05:13,130 --> 00:05:14,941
Is anything wrong?
84
00:05:14,965 --> 00:05:15,942
Wrong.
85
00:05:15,966 --> 00:05:18,100
Well, it's all there, isn't it?
86
00:05:26,543 --> 00:05:29,589
Samantha, why did you do that?
87
00:05:29,613 --> 00:05:34,928
I suppose you do
deserve an explanation.
88
00:05:34,952 --> 00:05:37,363
Well, it's rather
difficult to explain.
89
00:05:37,387 --> 00:05:39,866
Try.
90
00:05:39,890 --> 00:05:41,367
Well, you were asleep,
91
00:05:41,391 --> 00:05:43,236
and Mother and I
were looking at you,
92
00:05:43,260 --> 00:05:47,107
and, well, we got to talking
about your looks and all.
93
00:05:47,131 --> 00:05:49,743
Well... Well, you know.
94
00:05:49,767 --> 00:05:51,611
Go on.
95
00:05:51,635 --> 00:05:54,080
Well, Mother got
sort of carried away...
96
00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:58,785
and gave you a long
nose and curly hair
97
00:05:58,809 --> 00:06:01,855
and a mustache, and...
98
00:06:01,879 --> 00:06:04,357
Well, we were just killing time.
99
00:06:04,381 --> 00:06:07,883
Oh, sure, it beats
jigsaw puzzles all to heck!
100
00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:11,953
Ooh. Darrin...
101
00:06:13,824 --> 00:06:15,568
Darrin.
102
00:06:15,592 --> 00:06:18,371
Naturally, we were
gonna change you back
103
00:06:18,395 --> 00:06:20,206
before you woke up.
104
00:06:20,230 --> 00:06:22,208
Darrin, are you mad at me?
105
00:06:22,232 --> 00:06:23,765
No, that's not the word.
106
00:06:24,701 --> 00:06:25,711
Furious?
107
00:06:25,735 --> 00:06:27,535
You're getting warmer.
108
00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:32,185
Darrin, please
try not to be upset.
109
00:06:32,209 --> 00:06:34,320
I'm sorry, Sam.
110
00:06:34,344 --> 00:06:36,384
I've sort of grown
accustomed to my face.
111
00:06:37,247 --> 00:06:39,014
I thought you had too.
112
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:47,600
Darrin?
113
00:06:47,624 --> 00:06:48,802
Uh, yes?
114
00:06:48,826 --> 00:06:50,970
These are the layouts
for the Harper campaign.
115
00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:52,272
I'd like to get your reactions
116
00:06:52,296 --> 00:06:53,273
as soon as possible.
117
00:06:53,297 --> 00:06:55,297
Sure. Sure, Larry.
118
00:07:00,537 --> 00:07:02,381
Oh, Darrin, I
forgot to mention...
119
00:07:02,405 --> 00:07:05,751
Something in my eye.
120
00:07:05,775 --> 00:07:06,752
Want me to take a look?
121
00:07:06,776 --> 00:07:09,755
No, no. It's out.
122
00:07:09,779 --> 00:07:10,756
You were saying, Larry?
123
00:07:10,780 --> 00:07:11,858
Oh, yes.
124
00:07:11,882 --> 00:07:13,626
Well, it has to do with
the magazine copy.
125
00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:14,716
Mr. Harper seems to...
126
00:07:17,321 --> 00:07:18,865
Mr. Harper seems
to have some doubts
127
00:07:18,889 --> 00:07:20,033
about using a lady wrestler
128
00:07:20,057 --> 00:07:22,302
to sell their products.
129
00:07:22,326 --> 00:07:24,237
Darrin.
130
00:07:26,296 --> 00:07:27,406
Darrin?
131
00:07:27,430 --> 00:07:28,942
Oh, yes. Go ahead, Larry.
132
00:07:28,966 --> 00:07:30,543
Something bothering you?
133
00:07:30,567 --> 00:07:33,546
Larry, do you
think I'm attractive?
134
00:07:33,570 --> 00:07:34,714
What?
135
00:07:34,738 --> 00:07:37,016
I mean, how would you
describe the way I look?
136
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,718
My physical appearance.
137
00:07:38,742 --> 00:07:40,386
Are you kidding?
138
00:07:40,410 --> 00:07:42,355
No. How?
139
00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:44,457
Darrin, I've never
really thought about it
140
00:07:44,481 --> 00:07:45,458
one way or another.
141
00:07:45,482 --> 00:07:46,792
Never mind that, Larry.
142
00:07:46,816 --> 00:07:49,896
Just give me your honest
opinion of how you think I look.
143
00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:51,464
Well...
144
00:07:51,488 --> 00:07:53,566
you're not the best-looking
guy in the world.
145
00:07:53,590 --> 00:07:54,567
You're not even
146
00:07:54,591 --> 00:07:56,511
the best-looking
guy in the room.
147
00:07:57,928 --> 00:08:01,174
But you're presentable, I guess.
148
00:08:01,198 --> 00:08:03,176
I guess you're the
wrong person to ask.
149
00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:05,111
I probably am, Darrin.
150
00:08:05,135 --> 00:08:07,480
After all, you're my friend.
151
00:08:07,504 --> 00:08:08,669
You're bound to be biased.
152
00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:24,097
I don't know, Dave.
153
00:08:24,121 --> 00:08:25,331
She says she loves me.
154
00:08:25,355 --> 00:08:27,200
Then why did she change my face?
155
00:08:27,224 --> 00:08:28,501
Of course, it's the first year
156
00:08:28,525 --> 00:08:31,070
that's rough. Rough, rough.
157
00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:33,373
I'm a bachelor, but I know.
158
00:08:33,397 --> 00:08:34,540
The nose, maybe.
159
00:08:34,564 --> 00:08:35,975
But the whole face?
160
00:08:35,999 --> 00:08:38,644
Two people, a 50-50 proposition,
161
00:08:38,668 --> 00:08:41,514
give and take, share
and share alike,
162
00:08:41,538 --> 00:08:42,916
it's the only way.
163
00:08:42,940 --> 00:08:46,119
I mean, I fell asleep, and
she changed everything.
164
00:08:46,143 --> 00:08:48,888
It's the little
things that count.
165
00:08:48,912 --> 00:08:52,158
Candies, flowers,
a new dress maybe.
166
00:08:52,182 --> 00:08:55,128
My mother always said
my hair was my best feature.
167
00:08:55,152 --> 00:08:58,031
Take my aunt and
uncle, a mixed marriage.
168
00:08:58,055 --> 00:09:00,433
He's good, and she's rotten.
169
00:09:00,457 --> 00:09:02,501
But they stay together.
170
00:09:02,525 --> 00:09:05,038
Fifty years, but
they've stuck it out.
171
00:09:05,062 --> 00:09:06,539
They hate each other.
172
00:09:06,563 --> 00:09:08,507
Now, that's love.
173
00:09:08,531 --> 00:09:10,276
Sixteen hours a day
I've been working,
174
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:11,444
and that's the thanks I get.
175
00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:12,946
You're more than
welcome, Darrin.
176
00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:14,380
Hey, I got an appointment.
177
00:09:14,404 --> 00:09:15,684
Well, glad I could help.
178
00:09:19,609 --> 00:09:21,387
Mind you, my
mother-in-law did most of it,
179
00:09:21,411 --> 00:09:22,388
but Sam assisted her.
180
00:09:22,412 --> 00:09:23,622
She even made suggestions.
181
00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:25,391
Normally, I wouldn't
have thought of it,
182
00:09:25,415 --> 00:09:29,929
but I figured at
least I should ask.
183
00:09:29,953 --> 00:09:31,152
Go see this man.
184
00:09:33,290 --> 00:09:36,169
Dr. McLeash, he's
a plastic surgeon.
185
00:09:36,193 --> 00:09:37,792
Psychiatrist.
186
00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:44,610
Joe...
187
00:09:44,634 --> 00:09:46,612
has your wife ever tried
to change your face?
188
00:09:46,636 --> 00:09:49,337
Twice. Once with a rolling
pin and once with a seven-iron.
189
00:09:54,444 --> 00:09:56,122
Hello?
190
00:09:56,146 --> 00:09:58,691
Oh, hello, Larry.
191
00:09:58,715 --> 00:10:01,160
Acting funny?
192
00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:02,428
What do you mean?
193
00:10:02,452 --> 00:10:05,365
Well... Sort of depressed.
194
00:10:05,389 --> 00:10:07,400
Then today he began
feeling his nose.
195
00:10:07,424 --> 00:10:09,802
Feeling his nose?
196
00:10:09,826 --> 00:10:11,770
You mean...?
197
00:10:11,794 --> 00:10:13,139
His secretary noticed it too.
198
00:10:13,163 --> 00:10:14,707
How do you know that?
199
00:10:14,731 --> 00:10:16,075
Well, she came
up to me and said,
200
00:10:16,099 --> 00:10:18,259
"Why does Mr. Stephens
keep feeling his nose?"
201
00:10:19,436 --> 00:10:22,915
Then he asked me if I
thought he was attractive.
202
00:10:22,939 --> 00:10:24,850
And you know the
worst part of it, Sam?
203
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:25,985
He wasn't kidding.
204
00:10:26,009 --> 00:10:28,821
Well, Larry, thank
you for your concern.
205
00:10:28,845 --> 00:10:30,512
I'll see what I can do.
206
00:10:33,950 --> 00:10:35,450
Oh, dear.
207
00:10:37,620 --> 00:10:41,167
Something wrong
with Derek's nose?
208
00:10:41,191 --> 00:10:43,036
Absolutely nothing.
209
00:10:43,060 --> 00:10:46,172
But we've made him
feel drab and ordinary.
210
00:10:46,196 --> 00:10:48,707
Well, let's not
take all the blame.
211
00:10:48,731 --> 00:10:50,609
Mirrors must've had
something to do with it.
212
00:10:50,633 --> 00:10:52,745
Mother.
213
00:10:52,769 --> 00:10:54,547
I wish I could make him believe
214
00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:56,549
you not only love
someone despite their faults
215
00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:58,651
but sometimes because of them.
216
00:10:58,675 --> 00:11:00,853
I love Darrin's nose.
217
00:11:00,877 --> 00:11:02,221
Then tell him.
218
00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:04,457
Don't you see, it's no
good coming from me.
219
00:11:04,481 --> 00:11:06,125
Well, you may run into trouble
220
00:11:06,149 --> 00:11:07,793
getting someone else to say it.
221
00:11:07,817 --> 00:11:11,764
His ego needs building.
222
00:11:11,788 --> 00:11:16,702
Someone, another
woman, has to tell him
223
00:11:16,726 --> 00:11:18,337
that he's the most
attractive man
224
00:11:18,361 --> 00:11:19,338
in the world.
225
00:11:19,362 --> 00:11:20,673
Darling, don't look at me.
226
00:11:20,697 --> 00:11:22,007
I was thinking of me.
227
00:11:22,031 --> 00:11:23,509
You?
228
00:11:23,533 --> 00:11:24,932
Yes.
229
00:11:28,238 --> 00:11:30,805
I'll simply change
the packaging.
230
00:11:33,110 --> 00:11:35,254
Voilà.
231
00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:36,956
Do you think I am,
232
00:11:36,980 --> 00:11:39,058
how you say it, glamorous?
233
00:11:39,082 --> 00:11:41,327
Oh, Samantha.
234
00:11:41,351 --> 00:11:42,895
I'm proud of you.
235
00:11:42,919 --> 00:11:45,264
Why, you even
changed your voice.
236
00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:46,532
But why the accent?
237
00:11:46,556 --> 00:11:51,637
Oh, Darrin is partial
to Brigitte Bardot.
238
00:11:51,661 --> 00:11:54,173
There's just one thing, though.
239
00:11:54,197 --> 00:11:56,842
Don't you think your
plan's a little dangerous?
240
00:11:56,866 --> 00:11:59,878
Supposing What's-His-Name
likes you too much.
241
00:11:59,902 --> 00:12:01,581
Not Darrin.
242
00:12:01,605 --> 00:12:04,016
I trust him completely.
243
00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:08,087
Well, you said yourself,
he's only human.
244
00:12:08,111 --> 00:12:14,415
Hmm... Maybe you are right.
245
00:12:22,225 --> 00:12:23,691
Well, nobody's perfect.
246
00:12:25,695 --> 00:12:27,262
We'll see.
247
00:12:38,107 --> 00:12:39,118
Beer, please.
248
00:12:39,142 --> 00:12:40,286
What kind?
249
00:12:40,310 --> 00:12:42,555
Any kind. They're
all the same to me.
250
00:12:42,579 --> 00:12:44,357
I just need something
to quench my thirst.
251
00:12:44,381 --> 00:12:45,381
Cheers.
252
00:12:48,751 --> 00:12:50,763
Did you see that
ball game today?
253
00:12:50,787 --> 00:12:51,997
No, I didn't.
254
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:54,800
One of the greatest
ball games I've ever...
255
00:12:54,824 --> 00:12:56,369
Seen.
256
00:12:56,393 --> 00:12:57,936
Real exciting.
257
00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:00,173
Of course, for my money,
258
00:13:00,197 --> 00:13:04,343
the Yankees got the
best in the whole world.
259
00:13:04,367 --> 00:13:07,246
What's the matter with
you. Don't you like baseball?
260
00:13:07,270 --> 00:13:08,747
Yes, I do.
261
00:13:08,771 --> 00:13:12,318
Well, you just watch
yourself, buster.
262
00:13:12,342 --> 00:13:16,055
Baseball is... America's
national game.
263
00:13:16,079 --> 00:13:22,261
And if you... I
don't feel so good.
264
00:13:22,285 --> 00:13:23,918
Excuse me.
265
00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:27,422
Pardon me, sir.
266
00:13:31,661 --> 00:13:33,761
On one sip of beer?
267
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:49,788
Oh, I beg your pardon.
268
00:13:49,812 --> 00:13:51,591
I'm sorry, I don't know
how that happened.
269
00:13:51,615 --> 00:13:54,493
Joe.
270
00:13:54,517 --> 00:13:56,929
Do not concern yourself.
271
00:13:56,953 --> 00:13:59,031
Could I get you something?
272
00:13:59,055 --> 00:14:01,567
I'll have what you have.
273
00:14:01,591 --> 00:14:02,890
Two, Joe.
274
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:09,742
Let me be honest.
275
00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:11,110
I am glad it happened.
276
00:14:11,134 --> 00:14:12,245
Glad?
277
00:14:12,269 --> 00:14:13,946
I wanted to talk to you,
278
00:14:13,970 --> 00:14:16,982
but I did not know
how to commence.
279
00:14:17,006 --> 00:14:17,983
Really?
280
00:14:18,007 --> 00:14:19,252
Oh?
281
00:14:19,276 --> 00:14:22,421
I am not long in this country.
282
00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:27,460
And I did not know what
is, how you say it, proper.
283
00:14:27,484 --> 00:14:29,862
I see.
284
00:14:29,886 --> 00:14:32,131
I live by impulse.
285
00:14:32,155 --> 00:14:35,067
I see someone and I desire...
286
00:14:35,091 --> 00:14:38,871
to talk to them, to know them.
287
00:14:38,895 --> 00:14:40,839
You understand?
288
00:14:40,863 --> 00:14:42,074
I guess so.
289
00:14:42,098 --> 00:14:44,543
Well, that could cause
problems sometimes.
290
00:14:44,567 --> 00:14:49,848
Sometimes, but
life is for living, no?
291
00:14:49,872 --> 00:14:51,751
No. I mean, yes.
292
00:14:51,775 --> 00:14:55,321
I just look at you,
and I know I like you.
293
00:14:55,345 --> 00:14:57,022
How can you tell?
294
00:14:57,046 --> 00:15:01,449
Faces with character attract me.
295
00:15:05,722 --> 00:15:07,500
I would like to do your head.
296
00:15:07,524 --> 00:15:09,635
I beg your pardon?
297
00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:12,371
I am sculptress.
298
00:15:12,395 --> 00:15:15,930
Your head, it excites me.
299
00:15:18,134 --> 00:15:21,213
Put the drinks down, Joe.
300
00:15:21,237 --> 00:15:22,715
I love your face.
301
00:15:22,739 --> 00:15:28,921
It has strength...
individuality.
302
00:15:28,945 --> 00:15:33,426
Ah, it is a face... that
has experienced...
303
00:15:33,450 --> 00:15:38,631
love, sorrow... life.
304
00:15:38,655 --> 00:15:39,832
Yes?
305
00:15:39,856 --> 00:15:41,701
I mean, yeah.
306
00:15:41,725 --> 00:15:44,737
But mainly, it is a man's face.
307
00:15:44,761 --> 00:15:48,974
It is a face that exudes...
308
00:15:48,998 --> 00:15:51,877
how you say, sex appeal.
309
00:15:51,901 --> 00:15:53,646
That's how we say it.
310
00:15:53,670 --> 00:15:56,437
Put the drinks down, Joe.
311
00:15:58,074 --> 00:16:02,087
I am very direct person.
312
00:16:02,111 --> 00:16:03,589
I am sorry.
313
00:16:03,613 --> 00:16:04,990
I have embarrassed you?
314
00:16:05,014 --> 00:16:06,792
Oh, no, no. Not at all.
315
00:16:06,816 --> 00:16:09,294
But you see, Miss... Michelle.
316
00:16:09,318 --> 00:16:12,197
Michelle, you're
new around here.
317
00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:13,966
You probably don't
know too many people.
318
00:16:13,990 --> 00:16:15,468
You're probably lonely.
319
00:16:15,492 --> 00:16:17,169
Oh, no, no. I am not lonely.
320
00:16:17,193 --> 00:16:19,705
I meet many men.
321
00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:22,708
But how you say it?
322
00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:24,910
Nothing.
323
00:16:24,934 --> 00:16:28,947
Yeah, it's very dull.
324
00:16:28,971 --> 00:16:30,705
Who wants just
another pretty head?
325
00:16:32,475 --> 00:16:33,908
I see.
326
00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:39,358
My studio is quite near.
327
00:16:39,382 --> 00:16:43,396
We go and get to
know one another, yes?
328
00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:45,798
The face is important, yes.
329
00:16:45,822 --> 00:16:48,200
But more important,
behind the face.
330
00:16:48,224 --> 00:16:51,303
I'm very flattered,
but I'm afraid I can't.
331
00:16:51,327 --> 00:16:54,239
You have wife, no?
332
00:16:54,263 --> 00:16:57,042
Yes.
333
00:16:57,066 --> 00:16:58,511
But she does not understand you.
334
00:16:58,535 --> 00:17:01,547
Why do say that?
335
00:17:01,571 --> 00:17:05,451
You drink alone at bar.
336
00:17:05,475 --> 00:17:07,953
Well, she understands
me most of the time.
337
00:17:07,977 --> 00:17:11,145
There is no room in
your life for two women?
338
00:17:13,149 --> 00:17:14,449
Answer her, Darrin.
339
00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:20,120
No.
340
00:17:25,161 --> 00:17:26,505
Why are you smiling?
341
00:17:26,529 --> 00:17:27,995
Oh.
342
00:17:29,332 --> 00:17:32,110
C'est la vie.
343
00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:34,401
I envy your wife.
344
00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:39,273
Bonjour, Monsieur.
345
00:17:52,655 --> 00:17:56,223
Boy, your wife must be
something really special.
346
00:17:58,260 --> 00:18:00,539
She is, Joe.
347
00:18:00,563 --> 00:18:02,864
She is.
348
00:18:14,944 --> 00:18:16,021
Abner.
349
00:18:16,045 --> 00:18:17,756
What is it now, Gladys?
350
00:18:17,780 --> 00:18:21,315
There's a strange lady
driving the Stephens' car.
351
00:18:22,552 --> 00:18:25,097
She drove it into the garage.
352
00:18:25,121 --> 00:18:26,431
When she comes out, you'll see.
353
00:18:26,455 --> 00:18:28,055
All right, I'll see.
354
00:18:39,636 --> 00:18:40,768
There she is!
355
00:18:42,839 --> 00:18:43,839
Hi, Mrs. Kravitz.
356
00:18:48,077 --> 00:18:49,989
Now she's at it!
357
00:18:50,013 --> 00:18:51,590
At what?
358
00:18:51,614 --> 00:18:54,560
Changing herself.
359
00:18:54,584 --> 00:18:57,295
Abner, believe me,
there was a strange lady
360
00:18:57,319 --> 00:18:59,197
driving their car.
361
00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:01,689
There's only one strange
lady around here, Gladys.
362
00:19:07,664 --> 00:19:08,908
By the smug look on your face,
363
00:19:08,932 --> 00:19:10,743
I take it the mission
was successful.
364
00:19:10,767 --> 00:19:12,110
Worked like a charm.
365
00:19:12,134 --> 00:19:13,746
He wasn't even
tempted by your offer?
366
00:19:13,770 --> 00:19:15,347
Behaved beautifully.
367
00:19:15,371 --> 00:19:18,017
He rejected me completely.
368
00:19:18,041 --> 00:19:20,553
I wonder if I ought to act a
little jealous when he tells me.
369
00:19:20,577 --> 00:19:21,987
You really think he'll tell you
370
00:19:22,011 --> 00:19:24,389
about his little
encounter? Of course.
371
00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:26,959
We have no secrets.
Darrin tells me everything.
372
00:19:26,983 --> 00:19:27,983
Wanna bet?
373
00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:39,605
What sort of a day
did you have, dear?
374
00:19:39,629 --> 00:19:41,840
Oh, average.
375
00:19:41,864 --> 00:19:43,442
This is very good.
376
00:19:43,466 --> 00:19:44,466
Thank you.
377
00:19:46,335 --> 00:19:47,780
Anything unusual happen?
378
00:19:47,804 --> 00:19:49,982
You did something
special to the meat.
379
00:19:50,006 --> 00:19:53,452
I asked you if anything
unusual happened today.
380
00:19:53,476 --> 00:19:54,476
No.
381
00:19:55,578 --> 00:19:56,555
Oh.
382
00:19:56,579 --> 00:19:59,124
Come to think of it,
383
00:19:59,148 --> 00:20:01,159
something unusual did happen.
384
00:20:01,183 --> 00:20:03,662
I stopped in a bar
to have a drink.
385
00:20:03,686 --> 00:20:06,331
Yes?
386
00:20:06,355 --> 00:20:10,069
This guy sat down
next to me, cold sober.
387
00:20:10,093 --> 00:20:13,094
He took one sip of
beer, and he was stoned.
388
00:20:15,197 --> 00:20:16,174
Darnedest thing.
389
00:20:16,198 --> 00:20:18,877
Anything else?
390
00:20:18,901 --> 00:20:20,545
No.
391
00:20:20,569 --> 00:20:22,147
Then I came home.
392
00:20:22,171 --> 00:20:24,131
May I have some
more water, please?
393
00:20:28,011 --> 00:20:29,409
Thank you, dear.
394
00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:40,955
C'est la vie.
395
00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,484
Ellen, could you
come in for a minute?
396
00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:00,886
I have some letters to dictate.
397
00:21:00,910 --> 00:21:01,910
Yes, sir.
398
00:21:04,613 --> 00:21:07,059
Mr. Stephens, I'm Barbara Lucas.
399
00:21:07,083 --> 00:21:08,961
I'll be filling in for
Ellen this afternoon.
400
00:21:08,985 --> 00:21:10,328
She went home at lunch.
401
00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:11,429
Oh, is she sick?
402
00:21:11,453 --> 00:21:12,798
Oh, it's just a virus.
403
00:21:12,822 --> 00:21:13,832
Oh, that's funny.
404
00:21:13,856 --> 00:21:15,100
She seemed fine this morning.
405
00:21:15,124 --> 00:21:17,335
Well, those things
can hit you just like that.
406
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:18,370
It's too bad.
407
00:21:18,394 --> 00:21:20,172
Well, you know
what the French say,
408
00:21:20,196 --> 00:21:22,007
"C'est la vie."
409
00:21:22,031 --> 00:21:25,778
C'est la vie.
Michelle. C'est la vie.
410
00:21:25,802 --> 00:21:27,512
Something the
matter, Mr. Stephens?
411
00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:33,318
Nothing I can't handle, Barbara.
412
00:21:33,342 --> 00:21:36,521
It is Barbara, isn't it?
413
00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:38,312
Yes.
414
00:21:41,217 --> 00:21:42,717
You... You ready?
415
00:21:50,426 --> 00:21:52,470
I'm just waiting for you
to get it off your chest.
416
00:21:52,494 --> 00:21:54,573
I beg your pardon?
417
00:21:54,597 --> 00:21:56,508
Go on, tell me.
418
00:21:56,532 --> 00:21:58,010
Tell me how handsome I am.
419
00:21:58,034 --> 00:21:59,011
How virile.
420
00:21:59,035 --> 00:22:00,813
Build up my ego.
421
00:22:00,837 --> 00:22:03,082
At least tell me how sexy I am.
422
00:22:03,106 --> 00:22:05,084
I don't think I understand.
423
00:22:05,108 --> 00:22:07,086
That's what you
came here for, isn't it?
424
00:22:07,110 --> 00:22:09,888
Mr. Stephens, I just
came in to take dictation.
425
00:22:09,912 --> 00:22:11,612
Sure, you did.
426
00:22:14,117 --> 00:22:15,627
Oh, hi, Sam. Hi, Larry.
427
00:22:15,651 --> 00:22:16,829
Darrin's better today.
428
00:22:16,853 --> 00:22:18,897
I'm very pleased to hear
it. Is he in conference?
429
00:22:18,921 --> 00:22:20,699
No, he's just breaking
in a new secretary.
430
00:22:20,723 --> 00:22:22,000
Why don't you go in and see him.
431
00:22:22,024 --> 00:22:23,124
Thank you.
432
00:22:27,663 --> 00:22:29,196
What to do you want?
433
00:22:31,500 --> 00:22:32,933
This.
434
00:22:35,805 --> 00:22:36,805
Darrin!
435
00:22:38,674 --> 00:22:40,652
Sam!
436
00:22:40,676 --> 00:22:42,143
I-I thought she was you.
437
00:22:44,713 --> 00:22:46,658
I've heard of people like you.
438
00:22:46,682 --> 00:22:48,293
You don't understand.
439
00:22:48,317 --> 00:22:49,527
I thought you were my wife.
440
00:22:49,551 --> 00:22:52,197
Boy, I've heard some
excuses in my life,
441
00:22:52,221 --> 00:22:54,221
but that tops them all.
442
00:23:01,998 --> 00:23:03,575
Sam, I thought she was you.
443
00:23:03,599 --> 00:23:05,744
Is that your only excuse?
444
00:23:05,768 --> 00:23:07,445
Isn't that enough?
445
00:23:07,469 --> 00:23:08,480
You should understand.
446
00:23:08,504 --> 00:23:09,481
Darrin!
447
00:23:09,505 --> 00:23:10,515
Let me explain.
448
00:23:10,539 --> 00:23:12,017
No need to explain.
449
00:23:12,041 --> 00:23:14,686
One picture is
worth 10,000 words.
450
00:23:14,710 --> 00:23:17,355
Sam, are you jealous?
451
00:23:17,379 --> 00:23:18,957
Well, what do you expect?
452
00:23:18,981 --> 00:23:22,227
You really are
jealous, aren't you?
453
00:23:22,251 --> 00:23:24,930
How can you grin
at a time like this?
454
00:23:24,954 --> 00:23:27,900
I mean, you really are involved.
455
00:23:27,924 --> 00:23:29,802
Involved?
456
00:23:29,826 --> 00:23:31,303
I'm married to you.
457
00:23:31,327 --> 00:23:33,005
Yes, but you love me!
458
00:23:33,029 --> 00:23:34,461
Ohh!
459
00:23:36,265 --> 00:23:37,609
It's marvelous!
460
00:23:37,633 --> 00:23:41,013
Darrin, you don't care?
461
00:23:41,037 --> 00:23:42,436
Oh...
462
00:23:47,844 --> 00:23:49,754
How you say it?
463
00:23:49,778 --> 00:23:52,024
C'est la vie.
464
00:23:52,048 --> 00:23:53,558
You knew!
465
00:23:53,582 --> 00:23:56,728
Yes, I knew. And I also
thought you were Barbara.
466
00:23:56,752 --> 00:23:59,464
Why didn't you tell me
you knew I was Michelle?
467
00:23:59,488 --> 00:24:02,634
Because I thought you
were playing dirty pool.
468
00:24:02,658 --> 00:24:04,136
Now, suppose I'd
risen to the bait.
469
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:06,371
I knew you wouldn't.
470
00:24:06,395 --> 00:24:08,707
You weren't so smug
a few minutes ago.
471
00:24:08,731 --> 00:24:10,142
Perfectly normal reaction
472
00:24:10,166 --> 00:24:11,543
for a wife who
loves her husband.
473
00:24:11,567 --> 00:24:13,979
Now, Sam, you're playing
a very dangerous game.
474
00:24:14,003 --> 00:24:15,013
Now, just supposing
475
00:24:15,037 --> 00:24:17,249
that Barbara had
responded to my advances.
476
00:24:17,273 --> 00:24:19,451
Oh, darling, don't be silly.
477
00:24:19,475 --> 00:24:20,853
She wouldn't have done that.
478
00:24:20,877 --> 00:24:22,087
Why not?
479
00:24:22,111 --> 00:24:23,688
Well, what would she want
480
00:24:23,712 --> 00:24:26,152
with a funny-looking
guy like you?
31454
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