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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,873 --> 00:00:09,319 Okay, now you can open. 2 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:12,189 Ooh! Champagne! What's the occasion? 3 00:00:12,213 --> 00:00:13,290 The occasion is 4 00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:15,325 our first quiet evening at home in two weeks. 5 00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:17,394 I intend to toast you in blank verse 6 00:00:17,418 --> 00:00:19,762 and whisper sweet nothings till sunrise. 7 00:00:19,786 --> 00:00:21,097 Aren't you sweet? 8 00:00:21,121 --> 00:00:23,866 First, we remove the protective wiring, 9 00:00:23,890 --> 00:00:28,838 then we pry loose the cork with a resounding... 10 00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,108 Chime. 11 00:00:32,132 --> 00:00:34,411 Who dares intrude on blank verse and sweet nothings? 12 00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:36,346 I don't know, 13 00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:39,850 but we're gonna get rid of whoever it is in a hurry. 14 00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:43,886 Oh, Mr. Kravitz! 15 00:00:43,910 --> 00:00:46,189 Good evening, Mrs. Stephens, Mr. Stephens. 16 00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:47,390 Good evening, Mr. Kravitz. 17 00:00:47,414 --> 00:00:49,559 I dropped by to give you some neighborhood gossip. 18 00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,661 Well, could you tell us tomorrow, Mr. Kravitz? 19 00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:52,795 It's late and we were... 20 00:00:52,819 --> 00:00:54,297 Mrs. Kravitz and I just split up. 21 00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:56,533 Oh, no! 22 00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,602 We had a championship fight. 23 00:00:58,626 --> 00:00:59,936 Round one began with a dispute 24 00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:02,505 over which drawer I should keep my socks in. 25 00:01:02,529 --> 00:01:03,707 Round 10 ended with me 26 00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:05,642 storming out of the house to go to my club. 27 00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:07,810 Why don't you go to your club? 28 00:01:07,834 --> 00:01:08,945 I was so mad, 29 00:01:08,969 --> 00:01:10,889 I didn't realize I don't have one. 30 00:01:12,038 --> 00:01:13,483 Until I was out the door, 31 00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:16,453 which Mrs. Kravitz childishly locked behind me. 32 00:01:16,477 --> 00:01:18,355 And when I rang the bell, she didn't open it. 33 00:01:18,379 --> 00:01:20,724 She probably didn't hear you, Mr. Kravitz. 34 00:01:20,748 --> 00:01:21,824 Why don't you go back and... 35 00:01:21,848 --> 00:01:23,793 I rang 20 minutes nonstop. 36 00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:26,996 I said, "Gladys, let me in. I'll catch pneumonia." 37 00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:28,365 And she didn't answer? 38 00:01:28,389 --> 00:01:29,966 She answered. 39 00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:31,990 She gave me the name of a good doctor. 40 00:01:33,026 --> 00:01:34,003 Would you care 41 00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:35,305 to plead with her on the phone? 42 00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:38,007 No. I refuse to stoop to her level of immaturity. 43 00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:39,509 I'll sleep in the gutter. 44 00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:42,111 Comes morning, she'll find her sole source of support 45 00:01:42,135 --> 00:01:43,112 frozen, dead! 46 00:01:43,136 --> 00:01:46,215 You'll do no such thing! 47 00:01:46,239 --> 00:01:47,984 You'll stay in our guest room. 48 00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:49,018 And come morning, 49 00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:50,287 when tempers have subsided, 50 00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:51,755 you and Mrs. Kravitz will make up. 51 00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:54,424 You're both very kind. 52 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:55,792 Tough luck, Gladys. 53 00:01:55,816 --> 00:01:56,816 I'm going to live. 54 00:02:02,255 --> 00:02:03,255 Oh. 55 00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:07,970 Would you care to join us in a glass of champagne? 56 00:02:07,994 --> 00:02:09,673 Thanks, but not at bedtime. 57 00:02:09,697 --> 00:02:11,874 Oh, all right, Mr. Kravitz. 58 00:02:11,898 --> 00:02:13,976 The guest room is the first door 59 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:15,478 to the left on the top of the stairs. 60 00:02:15,502 --> 00:02:17,146 At bedtime, I drink piping-hot cocoa, 61 00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:18,381 if it's not too much trouble. 62 00:02:18,405 --> 00:02:21,940 Oh, no. No trouble at all. 63 00:02:26,012 --> 00:02:28,146 Hurry back, honey, before the champagne gets cold. 64 00:02:34,855 --> 00:02:36,488 Coming, darling. 65 00:03:32,012 --> 00:03:32,989 Oh, boy. 66 00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:35,759 That Mr. Kravitz sure is a good sleeper. 67 00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:36,993 He's also a good snorer, 68 00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:38,828 with amazing long-range reverberation. 69 00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:41,998 There was a fleeting moment there around 3:00 A.M. 70 00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:43,099 when I thought 71 00:03:43,123 --> 00:03:45,163 we were under attack by enemy aircraft. 72 00:03:46,794 --> 00:03:47,871 In a way, it's kind of cute. 73 00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:49,572 Cute? 74 00:03:49,596 --> 00:03:52,141 Honey, there's nothing cute about staying awake all night, 75 00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:53,743 listening to stereophonic snoring. 76 00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:56,679 I meant it's kind of cute that after 30 years of marriage, 77 00:03:56,703 --> 00:03:58,648 a couple can still have a lover's quarrel. 78 00:03:58,672 --> 00:04:00,082 You think that's all it is? 79 00:04:00,106 --> 00:04:01,284 Oh, of course. 80 00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:02,952 In the clear light of day, 81 00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:04,621 they'll both see how ridiculous it is. 82 00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:08,224 That must be the lady in question 83 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,048 come to claim her lost sheep. 84 00:04:11,819 --> 00:04:15,097 Say baa-baa to her lost sheep. 85 00:04:15,121 --> 00:04:17,722 I'll clean up those things later. 86 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:42,926 Hello, Mrs. Kravitz. 87 00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:44,594 Good morning. 88 00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,696 Won't you come in? 89 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,787 Something the matter? 90 00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:54,270 To the naked eye, 91 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,561 this looks like the average American home. 92 00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:00,242 Uh, Mrs. Stephens, 93 00:05:00,266 --> 00:05:02,534 are you by any chance harboring my husband? 94 00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:05,281 Yes. I hope you don't mind. 95 00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,850 It was very late and he didn't have... 96 00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:10,108 Don't apologize. This is a free country. 97 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,192 Don't tell me you're going home to mother? 98 00:05:16,216 --> 00:05:18,227 These are Mr. Kravitz's clothes. 99 00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:19,629 Tell him he can keep his socks 100 00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,998 any place he chooses. 101 00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:23,967 Mrs. Kravitz, do you seriously...? 102 00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:25,468 The home is half mine. 103 00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:26,970 Why should I move and leave it to him 104 00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:28,404 Let him move and leave it to me. 105 00:05:28,428 --> 00:05:30,006 Mrs. Kravitz, do you seriously...? 106 00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:32,296 He can keep the car. I'll keep the house. 107 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:35,344 I'll try again. 108 00:05:35,368 --> 00:05:37,179 Mrs. Kravitz, do you seriously mean...? 109 00:05:37,203 --> 00:05:38,848 I do! 110 00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:42,018 The 30-year partnership of Abner and Gladys Kravitz 111 00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:44,387 is finished, washed up, dissolved. 112 00:05:44,411 --> 00:05:46,489 Just because of a pair of socks? 113 00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:48,290 Now, Mrs. Kravitz, I know... 114 00:05:48,314 --> 00:05:49,759 The socks are just a symbol. 115 00:05:49,783 --> 00:05:51,528 A symbol of what? 116 00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:53,997 Of Mr. Kravitz's crummy neurosis. 117 00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:55,865 He's neurotic, you know? 118 00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:57,366 Oh, he's so neurotic 119 00:05:57,390 --> 00:05:59,157 that a normal person like you... 120 00:06:00,727 --> 00:06:03,105 A normal person like me might what? 121 00:06:03,129 --> 00:06:05,441 Uh, nothing. 122 00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:07,465 I forgot to whom I was speaking. 123 00:06:09,235 --> 00:06:11,981 Will you give Mr. Kravitz this note? 124 00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:13,783 And tell him if he wishes to reply to it, 125 00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:17,386 to have his attorney contact my attorney. 126 00:06:17,410 --> 00:06:20,712 Pardon me, ladies, but I have to go to work. 127 00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:23,225 Where's Mrs. Kravitz? 128 00:06:23,249 --> 00:06:24,894 She left. 129 00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:26,328 Alone? Alone. 130 00:06:26,352 --> 00:06:27,931 Darrin, this is much more serious 131 00:06:27,955 --> 00:06:29,498 than you predicted. 132 00:06:29,522 --> 00:06:31,367 I didn't predict anything. 133 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,436 She's contemplating divorce. 134 00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:35,872 That was the best sleep I've had in months. 135 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,495 Mrs. Kravitz snores. 136 00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:40,309 Mr. Kravitz, 137 00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:42,211 I'm afraid I have some bad news. 138 00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,780 No fresh orange juice? 139 00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:44,781 No. 140 00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:46,816 Hey, that's my suitcase. 141 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:49,052 How about that? 142 00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:50,386 It's packed. 143 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:52,555 What did Mrs. Kravitz say when she brought it over? 144 00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:53,579 She left you this note. 145 00:06:58,151 --> 00:06:59,495 This is shocking! 146 00:06:59,519 --> 00:07:01,664 She has the penmanship of a 10-year-old child. 147 00:07:01,688 --> 00:07:04,634 Never mind the penmanship, what does it say? 148 00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:07,425 It says, "Farewell forever." 149 00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:10,406 If you don't have fresh orange juice, 150 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,674 I'll have a half a grapefruit. 151 00:07:11,698 --> 00:07:13,610 We have fresh orange juice. 152 00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:16,713 We have fresh orange juice every morning. 153 00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:18,047 Mr. Kravitz, 154 00:07:18,071 --> 00:07:20,349 why aren't you pounding your head in misery? 155 00:07:20,373 --> 00:07:21,884 Because I'm not miserable. 156 00:07:21,908 --> 00:07:24,520 Well, you should be! 157 00:07:24,544 --> 00:07:26,589 If I wrote you a "Farewell forever" note, 158 00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,091 wouldn't you be miserable? 159 00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:29,926 I certainly would! 160 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:30,994 Because she's my wife 161 00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:32,294 and Mrs. Kravitz is your wife. 162 00:07:32,318 --> 00:07:33,997 I know. Want to trade? 163 00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:36,141 I'll give you Gladys and 18 pairs of socks. 164 00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:41,037 Mr. Kravitz, we're disappointed in you. 165 00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:42,538 Aren't you gonna fight for her? 166 00:07:42,562 --> 00:07:44,140 I'm undecided. 167 00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:46,484 It depends on how much I enjoy not fighting with her. 168 00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:49,846 I'll get dressed for breakfast. 169 00:07:55,042 --> 00:07:56,152 Shouldn't you go to work? 170 00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:58,655 Yes, and so should you. 171 00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:00,757 What does that mean? 172 00:08:00,781 --> 00:08:02,224 It means you should go to work 173 00:08:02,248 --> 00:08:04,027 getting Mr. Kravitz back where he belongs 174 00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:06,262 before I get home from work tonight. How? 175 00:08:06,286 --> 00:08:07,563 I haven't the faintest idea, 176 00:08:07,587 --> 00:08:09,065 but being a devoted wife and witch, 177 00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:11,329 I'm sure you'll think of something. 178 00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,240 Know what I mean? 179 00:08:18,264 --> 00:08:19,430 Darrin! 180 00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:45,702 Sweetheart, I'm home. 181 00:08:45,726 --> 00:08:47,336 Come give me a passionate kiss. 182 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,860 Okay, pucker up. 183 00:08:50,997 --> 00:08:52,842 That's passionate? 184 00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:56,312 Mr. Kravitz, may I speak to my wife alone, please? 185 00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:59,137 Sure. I'll start the Brussels sprouts. 186 00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:02,651 Sweetheart, when I left this morning... 187 00:09:02,675 --> 00:09:05,054 Brussels sprouts? 188 00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:06,923 Well, he said if it wasn't too much trouble, 189 00:09:06,947 --> 00:09:08,524 he'd like to show me a special recipe. 190 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,559 I hate Brussels sprouts! 191 00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:13,229 Well, he likes them and he's our guest. 192 00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:14,597 Why? 193 00:09:14,621 --> 00:09:16,799 When I left this morning, I said make him disappear! 194 00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:18,434 No, you didn't. 195 00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:20,336 You asked me to get him back where he belongs. 196 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,338 That's much harder than making him disappear. 197 00:09:22,362 --> 00:09:24,473 You could make him disappear from our house 198 00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:25,808 and appear in his house. 199 00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:27,409 Wouldn't do any good. 200 00:09:27,433 --> 00:09:30,613 He'd see where he was and come right back. 201 00:09:30,637 --> 00:09:32,215 Samantha, you're stalling. 202 00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:34,550 Well... You've used your powers 203 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,352 to solve much tougher problems than this. 204 00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:38,855 Since when do you want me to use witchcraft? 205 00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:40,422 You always want me not to. 206 00:09:40,446 --> 00:09:43,626 That's true. However... However what? 207 00:09:43,650 --> 00:09:45,527 This time, I'm willing to make an exception. 208 00:09:45,551 --> 00:09:46,796 Mrs. Stephens? 209 00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:48,330 Yes? 210 00:09:48,354 --> 00:09:51,200 If it's not too much trouble, where do I find the anchovies? 211 00:09:51,224 --> 00:09:53,502 Second cabinet to the right. 212 00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:55,004 Thank you. 213 00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:56,438 Why does he need anchovies? 214 00:09:56,462 --> 00:09:58,207 To stuff the Brussels sprouts. 215 00:09:58,231 --> 00:09:59,597 Yuck! 216 00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:03,012 You can make him disappear from our house 217 00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:04,280 and appear in San Francisco. 218 00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:06,949 Darrin, our aim isn't merely to get rid of him. 219 00:10:06,973 --> 00:10:08,851 It's to reunite him with his wife. 220 00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:11,520 Send her to San Francisco too. 221 00:10:11,544 --> 00:10:13,689 They have to reunite of their own free will. 222 00:10:13,713 --> 00:10:15,792 Of course, I suppose 223 00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:17,426 I could go and see Mrs. Kravitz 224 00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,561 and try to reason with her, wife to wife. 225 00:10:19,585 --> 00:10:20,897 When? 226 00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:22,165 Now? 227 00:10:22,189 --> 00:10:23,621 Fine. 228 00:10:26,492 --> 00:10:28,126 Good luck. 229 00:10:32,432 --> 00:10:34,476 Brussels sprouts. 230 00:10:48,048 --> 00:10:50,492 Mrs. Kravitz, I... There's been an accident! 231 00:10:50,516 --> 00:10:53,729 Mrs. Kravitz, your husband is in perfectly good health. 232 00:10:53,753 --> 00:10:54,931 Scout's honor? 233 00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:56,032 Scout's honor. 234 00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:57,788 I'm sorry to hear it. 235 00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:02,404 Could we go in and sit down and have a little talk? 236 00:11:02,428 --> 00:11:03,594 Why not? 237 00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:08,544 If Mr. Kravitz asked you to beg me to forgive him, 238 00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:10,079 you're wasting your time. 239 00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:11,580 Oh, he didn't beg me, Mrs. Kravitz. 240 00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:13,883 As a matter of fact, he doesn't even know. 241 00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:16,418 I'm doing very nicely without him. 242 00:11:16,442 --> 00:11:17,854 I like this peace and quiet. 243 00:11:17,878 --> 00:11:20,022 I was gonna throw that in the garbage. 244 00:11:20,046 --> 00:11:22,024 Oh, were you? 245 00:11:22,048 --> 00:11:23,993 Or were you looking at it because you miss him? 246 00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:26,262 Absolutely not! 247 00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:28,326 I wouldn't miss him with a 10-foot pole. 248 00:11:29,455 --> 00:11:31,500 I like this peace and quiet. 249 00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:34,470 Oh, Mrs. Stephens. 250 00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:37,273 I miss him so much, I don't know what to do. 251 00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:40,476 I'm an unhappy ship floating down a lonely river, 252 00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:43,880 and this is my ninth handkerchief today. 253 00:11:43,904 --> 00:11:45,948 Mrs. Kravitz, I am sorry. 254 00:11:45,972 --> 00:11:47,917 I'll tell Mr. Kravitz to come home right away. 255 00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:50,019 Over my dead body! 256 00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:51,520 I want him to want to come home. 257 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,155 I want him to get on his hands and knees 258 00:11:53,179 --> 00:11:54,757 and say that he can't live without me. 259 00:11:54,781 --> 00:11:57,693 What if he's too stubborn to admit it? 260 00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:58,883 I'll kill him. 261 00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:02,265 Oh, I see. 262 00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:04,566 You have just as much pride as he, 263 00:12:04,590 --> 00:12:05,768 and he's the man, 264 00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:07,436 so it's up to him to make the first move. 265 00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:10,672 I stand on that principle. Is that unreasonable? 266 00:12:10,696 --> 00:12:15,144 No, Mrs. Kravitz, I can't say that it is. 267 00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:18,614 What would you say to a little compromise plan? 268 00:12:18,638 --> 00:12:20,082 By whom? 269 00:12:20,106 --> 00:12:21,650 By me... 270 00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:23,707 and our mutual living room windows. 271 00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:39,468 I just took a king. You're not concentrating. 272 00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:41,570 I guess I was still thinking about 273 00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:44,673 the Brussels sprouts stuffed with anchovies. 274 00:12:44,697 --> 00:12:46,364 Gin. 275 00:13:01,647 --> 00:13:03,767 Guess who I can see from here. 276 00:13:05,885 --> 00:13:07,018 Why, it's Mrs. Kravitz. 277 00:13:10,823 --> 00:13:13,424 Loser deals. 278 00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:19,364 She has a new hairdo. 279 00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:23,045 Yes, I noticed. 280 00:13:23,069 --> 00:13:25,014 Very becoming. 281 00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:27,683 Did you see her negligee? 282 00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:30,252 Oh, yes. Very dainty and feminine. 283 00:13:30,276 --> 00:13:32,116 That's enough shuffling. Deal! 284 00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:40,596 Boy, when Mrs. Abner Kravitz puts her mind to it, 285 00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:43,254 she sure can look appealing. 286 00:14:08,614 --> 00:14:10,334 I don't want it. Do you? 287 00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:13,985 Gin. 288 00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:17,221 On the first card? 289 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,169 What luck! 290 00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:23,194 It wasn't luck. It was skill. 291 00:14:32,238 --> 00:14:34,383 Samantha, I'm not a man given to rash statements, 292 00:14:34,407 --> 00:14:35,618 but Abner Kravitz, 293 00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:37,119 alias "The Brussels sprouts kid," 294 00:14:37,143 --> 00:14:39,555 has been our houseguest for two nights. 295 00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:42,525 And this is the second day, and I have had it! 296 00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:44,793 Shh. 297 00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:45,895 Which upsets you more? 298 00:14:45,919 --> 00:14:48,330 The sonic-boom snoring or the Brussels sprouts? 299 00:14:48,354 --> 00:14:52,034 What I object to most is the invasion of our privacy. 300 00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:54,236 I'd always hoped that our family would be enlarged, 301 00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:55,804 but what I had in mind was a baby. 302 00:14:55,828 --> 00:14:58,741 Well, cheer up. We've got one. 303 00:14:58,765 --> 00:15:01,777 A middle-aged, bouncing baby boy. 304 00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:02,778 He misses his wife 305 00:15:02,802 --> 00:15:04,613 just as much as his wife misses him. 306 00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:06,081 He'd go back to her in a second 307 00:15:06,105 --> 00:15:07,950 if his ego weren't playing such a silly game 308 00:15:07,974 --> 00:15:09,317 of who's going to crack first. 309 00:15:09,341 --> 00:15:11,576 I'll tell you who's going to crack... I am! 310 00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:13,689 Darrin! 311 00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:15,057 Good morning, my genial hosts. 312 00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:16,391 Good morning. 313 00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:18,561 Mrs. Stephens, if it isn't too much trouble, 314 00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:20,596 would you mind taking my shirts 315 00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:22,264 in your delivery to the laundry today? 316 00:15:22,288 --> 00:15:23,265 Thank you very much. 317 00:15:23,289 --> 00:15:24,733 Mr. Kravitz, 318 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:27,269 I have observed that whenever you ask my wife for a favor, 319 00:15:27,293 --> 00:15:29,705 you always finish or start with the words 320 00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:31,206 "If it's not too much trouble." 321 00:15:31,230 --> 00:15:33,008 And I end with "Thank you." 322 00:15:33,032 --> 00:15:34,076 I always try to be polite. 323 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,278 That is very admirable. 324 00:15:36,302 --> 00:15:38,513 However, there are certain requests 325 00:15:38,537 --> 00:15:39,615 that are too much trouble. 326 00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:41,183 Now, not at all, darling. 327 00:15:41,207 --> 00:15:43,185 Mr. Kravitz, you just set them down over there. 328 00:15:43,209 --> 00:15:44,687 I'll be happy to take them for you. 329 00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:46,644 Thanks. 330 00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:50,459 Oh, Mr. Stephens? 331 00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:51,460 What? 332 00:15:51,484 --> 00:15:53,404 You had the paper first yesterday. 333 00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:56,966 It's my paper, isn't it? 334 00:15:56,990 --> 00:16:00,002 Okay, if that's your attitude, I'll get my paper. 335 00:16:00,026 --> 00:16:01,425 Excuse me. 336 00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:26,394 How do you do, Madam? I represent... 337 00:16:26,418 --> 00:16:27,730 Kiss me! 338 00:16:27,754 --> 00:16:28,897 I beg your pardon? 339 00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:30,465 Kiss me. 340 00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:32,635 I want to make my husband jealous. 341 00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:34,770 Lady, don't go to extremes. 342 00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:37,494 If you don't want to buy, just slam the door in my face. 343 00:16:42,101 --> 00:16:43,578 Darrin? 344 00:16:43,602 --> 00:16:45,047 What? 345 00:16:45,071 --> 00:16:46,915 Can you sleep? 346 00:16:46,939 --> 00:16:49,006 No. 347 00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:54,089 Neither can I. 348 00:16:54,113 --> 00:16:56,191 Bet I know why. 349 00:16:56,215 --> 00:16:57,592 Why? 350 00:16:57,616 --> 00:17:00,829 We've gotten so adjusted to Mr. Kravitz's snoring, 351 00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:03,699 that the one night he doesn't, it keeps us awake. 352 00:17:03,723 --> 00:17:05,668 That's probably it. 353 00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:07,736 Doesn't make any sense, but that's probably it. 354 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:09,872 Sort of at a standstill, aren't we? 355 00:17:09,896 --> 00:17:10,873 Mm-hmm. 356 00:17:10,897 --> 00:17:12,141 You have any ideas? 357 00:17:12,165 --> 00:17:14,409 No. Do you? 358 00:17:14,433 --> 00:17:18,047 Yes, but it's only half an idea. 359 00:17:18,071 --> 00:17:19,614 Now, since we can't reunite 360 00:17:19,638 --> 00:17:21,316 the Kravitzes while they're awake, 361 00:17:21,340 --> 00:17:23,418 perhaps I can reunite them while they're asleep. 362 00:17:23,442 --> 00:17:26,254 It sounds logical. 363 00:17:26,278 --> 00:17:28,590 I thought if by witchcraft... 364 00:17:28,614 --> 00:17:29,591 I gave each of them 365 00:17:29,615 --> 00:17:31,760 the same dream at the same time... 366 00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:33,996 Go ahead, I'm listening. 367 00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:35,164 That's all. 368 00:17:35,188 --> 00:17:36,765 That's why it's only half an idea. 369 00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:38,967 Some kind of dream 370 00:17:38,991 --> 00:17:41,469 that would make them realize how much they love each other, 371 00:17:41,493 --> 00:17:42,604 so when they woke up, 372 00:17:42,628 --> 00:17:44,173 they'd rush into each other's arms! 373 00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:45,174 Exactly! 374 00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:46,374 Suggest a dream. 375 00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:48,518 You suggest a dream. It's your half an idea. 376 00:17:50,336 --> 00:17:52,014 It should be about a time 377 00:17:52,038 --> 00:17:53,749 when they were both blissfully happy. 378 00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:55,050 Like when they were single. 379 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:57,052 That's perfect. 380 00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:59,054 Sam, I was being sarcastic. 381 00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:02,490 That's absolutely perfect! 382 00:18:02,514 --> 00:18:05,327 When is the happiest day in a man's life 383 00:18:05,351 --> 00:18:07,429 in relation to his wife before they were married? 384 00:18:07,453 --> 00:18:09,531 When he first finds out 385 00:18:09,555 --> 00:18:11,900 she isn't going to need $3,000 worth of dental work. 386 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,702 Wrong. 387 00:18:13,726 --> 00:18:15,771 The day he proposes and she accepts. 388 00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:17,239 It's the happiest day for her too. 389 00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:18,974 Possibly. 390 00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:20,776 Possibly? 391 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,344 Wasn't it the happiest day for you? 392 00:18:22,368 --> 00:18:24,880 I guess so. 393 00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:26,448 Yes, it was. 394 00:18:26,472 --> 00:18:29,351 Same here. So that's what I'll do. 395 00:18:29,375 --> 00:18:31,253 I'll make them both dream of his proposal... 396 00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:32,254 Don't go away. 397 00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:34,344 I'll be right back. 398 00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:13,884 Abner and Gladys Kravitz, sweet dreams. 399 00:19:27,233 --> 00:19:29,611 How was your class in Home Ec? 400 00:19:29,635 --> 00:19:30,712 Oh, keen. 401 00:19:30,736 --> 00:19:32,647 How was your class in Business Ed? 402 00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:34,382 Keen. 403 00:19:34,406 --> 00:19:36,418 But my favorite class is Scandinavian Lit. 404 00:19:36,442 --> 00:19:38,153 So's mine. 405 00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,122 Why? You tell me first. 406 00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:43,292 Well, my favorite class is Scandinavian Lit... 407 00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:44,927 because in it I sit next to 408 00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:46,761 a certain Miss Gladys Gruber. 409 00:19:46,785 --> 00:19:50,098 Gladys Gruber. Some name! 410 00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:51,633 I think it's beautiful. 411 00:19:51,657 --> 00:19:53,501 It's too guttural. 412 00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:56,171 Gladys Gruber, Gladys Gruber. 413 00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:57,906 Maybe you'd like to change it. 414 00:19:57,930 --> 00:19:59,007 Change it to what? 415 00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,364 To Gladys Kravitz. 416 00:20:02,835 --> 00:20:05,647 It isn't much of an improvement, but... 417 00:20:05,671 --> 00:20:07,950 Gladys... I love you. 418 00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:09,318 I've loved you from the moment 419 00:20:09,342 --> 00:20:11,486 you fell off the truck on my fraternity hayride. 420 00:20:11,510 --> 00:20:14,189 I want you to be my wife, 421 00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:17,893 to travel my life highway, sharing my joys and sorrows. 422 00:20:17,917 --> 00:20:20,395 Abner, is this a proposal? 423 00:20:20,419 --> 00:20:23,453 If it wasn't a proposal, would I have bought this? 424 00:20:29,528 --> 00:20:31,073 It's keen! 425 00:20:31,097 --> 00:20:33,137 You've got your fingers over the diamond. 426 00:20:35,701 --> 00:20:37,779 I wanted to buy you a diamond as big as my heart, 427 00:20:37,803 --> 00:20:39,647 but they don't make one. 428 00:20:39,671 --> 00:20:41,616 Even if they did, I couldn't afford it. 429 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:43,919 This is big enough. 430 00:20:43,943 --> 00:20:45,820 My needs are simple: 431 00:20:45,844 --> 00:20:49,958 kindness, understanding, a nice winter coat. 432 00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:52,127 Does that mean the answer is yes? 433 00:20:52,151 --> 00:20:54,496 Didn't you know it would be? 434 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:57,421 I wasn't sure. I only hoped. 435 00:20:59,992 --> 00:21:02,537 "As the years glide swiftly by, 436 00:21:02,561 --> 00:21:04,672 our love will bloom in beauty like a rose." 437 00:21:04,696 --> 00:21:05,908 Oh! 438 00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:15,417 The end. 439 00:21:15,441 --> 00:21:18,086 Now all I have to do is wake them up 440 00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:20,088 and let them take it by themselves from here. 441 00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:21,423 Fascinating! 442 00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:22,424 What? 443 00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:24,148 Being married to you. 444 00:21:25,684 --> 00:21:27,662 Will it work? 445 00:21:27,686 --> 00:21:29,954 I hope so. 446 00:21:34,393 --> 00:21:37,861 Gladys! Where are you? 447 00:21:40,632 --> 00:21:42,978 Abner. 448 00:21:43,002 --> 00:21:45,002 Abner, where are you? 449 00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:50,552 Now, let's go look out the window. 450 00:21:50,576 --> 00:21:51,553 At what? 451 00:21:51,577 --> 00:21:53,677 At their reunion. 452 00:21:56,082 --> 00:21:57,059 Abner! 453 00:21:57,083 --> 00:21:58,660 Gladys! 454 00:21:58,684 --> 00:22:01,263 You know what might be a nice touch? 455 00:22:01,287 --> 00:22:02,697 What? 456 00:22:02,721 --> 00:22:05,155 The way they do it in the movies. 457 00:22:37,023 --> 00:22:38,000 Well, that's that. 458 00:22:38,024 --> 00:22:39,301 Congratulations. 459 00:22:39,325 --> 00:22:41,803 I just started the ball rolling. 460 00:22:41,827 --> 00:22:44,172 It wouldn't have worked if they didn't love each other. 461 00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:45,207 As much as we do? 462 00:22:45,231 --> 00:22:47,075 Maybe. 463 00:22:47,099 --> 00:22:49,866 No. No, that is impossible. 464 00:23:00,579 --> 00:23:01,890 Ooh! 465 00:23:01,914 --> 00:23:03,992 Okay. Whoops. 466 00:23:04,016 --> 00:23:06,656 Now, where's the blank verse? Well... 467 00:23:09,055 --> 00:23:12,067 Here you are. 468 00:23:12,091 --> 00:23:13,701 There once was a girl named Sam... 469 00:23:24,970 --> 00:23:27,049 Hi. I'm back. 470 00:23:27,073 --> 00:23:28,450 We're both here this time. 471 00:23:28,474 --> 00:23:30,885 How nice. 472 00:23:30,909 --> 00:23:33,055 To thank you for your hospitality, 473 00:23:33,079 --> 00:23:36,258 and also to give you a small token of our esteem. 474 00:23:36,282 --> 00:23:38,660 Thank you very much. 475 00:23:38,684 --> 00:23:41,051 Yes, but you shouldn't have. 476 00:23:42,654 --> 00:23:44,366 It's an expensive vegetable dish. 477 00:23:44,390 --> 00:23:46,968 You were so good to Abner. 478 00:23:46,992 --> 00:23:48,437 I have a funny feeling 479 00:23:48,461 --> 00:23:51,706 it was you who put us back together again. 480 00:23:51,730 --> 00:23:53,597 A very funny feeling. 481 00:23:55,701 --> 00:23:58,113 Oh, it's beautiful! 482 00:23:58,137 --> 00:24:00,014 Thank you again. 483 00:24:00,038 --> 00:24:02,038 Ideal for Brussels sprouts. 484 00:24:03,109 --> 00:24:04,386 I brought some champagne, 485 00:24:04,410 --> 00:24:06,121 but I see you've got some already. 486 00:24:06,145 --> 00:24:07,255 Yes. 487 00:24:07,279 --> 00:24:09,991 We were planning on celebrating our reunion too. 488 00:24:10,015 --> 00:24:12,594 Maybe we shouldn't intrude. 489 00:24:12,618 --> 00:24:14,529 Intrude? On these people? 490 00:24:14,553 --> 00:24:15,530 You gotta be kidding. 491 00:24:15,554 --> 00:24:16,531 Right? 492 00:24:16,555 --> 00:24:18,233 Right. 493 00:24:18,257 --> 00:24:20,235 We'll cool the champagne and make a night of it. 494 00:24:20,259 --> 00:24:21,539 Right? 495 00:24:22,495 --> 00:24:23,472 Darrin? 496 00:24:23,496 --> 00:24:24,496 Right. 497 00:24:27,333 --> 00:24:29,366 Here's to dreams. 498 00:24:31,003 --> 00:24:32,147 That come true. 499 00:24:32,171 --> 00:24:34,505 I'll drink to that. 34010

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