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1
00:00:09,243 --> 00:00:10,653
Hello.
2
00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:12,122
Oh, hi, Sally.
3
00:00:12,146 --> 00:00:13,723
I was wondering where you were.
4
00:00:15,883 --> 00:00:18,795
Oh, hang on just
a minute, will you?
5
00:00:18,819 --> 00:00:21,131
I'm sorry, sweetheart.
I know you're hungry.
6
00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:22,199
I'll feed you in a minute.
7
00:00:22,223 --> 00:00:24,968
Uh, hello.
8
00:00:24,992 --> 00:00:26,970
Yes, you'll have to
speak a little louder.
9
00:00:26,994 --> 00:00:29,039
The baby's crying.
10
00:00:29,063 --> 00:00:30,773
You can't?
11
00:00:30,797 --> 00:00:34,143
Oh, Sally, I was
depending on you.
12
00:00:34,167 --> 00:00:36,479
Well, I am sorry.
13
00:00:36,503 --> 00:00:38,314
How about your sister?
14
00:00:38,338 --> 00:00:40,717
Oh, yes, I understand.
15
00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:43,620
I hope you both
feel better soon.
16
00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:46,378
Bye-bye.
17
00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:49,225
Where did you get that bottle?
18
00:00:49,249 --> 00:00:51,027
Really, Samantha!
19
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,328
Where do you think she got it?
20
00:00:52,352 --> 00:00:54,364
Oh, well, thank goodness.
21
00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:57,500
For one terrible moment, I
thought maybe Tabatha had...
22
00:00:57,524 --> 00:00:59,402
Well, you never know.
23
00:01:53,580 --> 00:01:55,358
Thank you.
24
00:01:55,382 --> 00:01:57,994
Well, that's the last of them.
25
00:01:58,018 --> 00:02:00,730
I've tried every
babysitter I know.
26
00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:02,365
I have a lunch date with Darrin
27
00:02:02,389 --> 00:02:03,633
and a very important client
28
00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:06,068
who insists upon
meeting everybody's wives.
29
00:02:06,092 --> 00:02:07,870
Well, if you really
want to go out to lunch,
30
00:02:07,894 --> 00:02:08,971
why don't you toddle off?
31
00:02:08,995 --> 00:02:10,439
I'll stay here with Tabatha.
32
00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:13,659
No, Mother. I I better not.
33
00:02:14,701 --> 00:02:16,312
Thank you for offering, though.
34
00:02:16,336 --> 00:02:18,815
What do you mean,
you'd better not?
35
00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:21,351
You've never stayed
with Tabatha before.
36
00:02:21,375 --> 00:02:24,321
Well, although this may
come as a surprise, Samantha,
37
00:02:24,345 --> 00:02:26,623
I'm not a complete
stranger to babies.
38
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:30,415
You, as I recall, were
once one yourself.
39
00:02:31,351 --> 00:02:34,197
Don't you trust me, Samantha?
40
00:02:34,221 --> 00:02:35,698
Of course I do.
41
00:02:35,722 --> 00:02:37,500
Doesn't Dagwood trust me?
42
00:02:37,524 --> 00:02:41,504
Well... Oh! That
presumptuous mortal.
43
00:02:41,528 --> 00:02:44,507
Refusing to let me babysit
with my own flesh and blood.
44
00:02:44,531 --> 00:02:46,676
All right, Mother,
all right. I'm sorry.
45
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:48,011
Of course you can stay.
46
00:02:48,035 --> 00:02:49,846
Marvelous.
47
00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:52,148
Do tell Dorian.
48
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,983
It's sure to ruin his lunch.
49
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,618
It's Darian!
50
00:02:55,642 --> 00:02:57,853
Uh, Doria... Darrin.
51
00:02:57,877 --> 00:03:00,256
And I'll do nothing of the kind.
52
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:02,525
Now, Mother, promise me...
53
00:03:02,549 --> 00:03:04,527
no funny business.
54
00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:06,562
Witch's honor.
55
00:03:06,586 --> 00:03:08,331
I promise, angel.
56
00:03:09,557 --> 00:03:14,171
That's a... That's
a nice little girl.
57
00:03:14,195 --> 00:03:18,875
And the beautiful,
charming, kindly witch,
58
00:03:18,899 --> 00:03:23,079
said to the nasty,
old Snow White,
59
00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:27,050
"Here is a lovely apple."
60
00:03:27,074 --> 00:03:29,085
Oh, don't kick, darling.
61
00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:32,288
Now, listen, we're trying to
make you much more comfortable.
62
00:03:32,312 --> 00:03:33,456
That's a girl.
63
00:03:34,514 --> 00:03:36,381
Come...
64
00:03:39,687 --> 00:03:41,898
Come in!
65
00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:47,503
Oh, Mrs. Stephens, the most
remarkable thing happened.
66
00:03:47,527 --> 00:03:50,773
I was just feeding little Edgar,
67
00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:52,842
the sweetums, and
you know what he did?
68
00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:55,945
He grabbed the
spoon... Oh, it's you.
69
00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:58,314
I thought Mrs.
Stephens was here.
70
00:03:58,338 --> 00:03:59,716
Well, Samantha isn't here.
71
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:04,020
Mrs. Kravitz, do you know
how to change a diaper?
72
00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:06,845
I was just leaving.
73
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:11,227
What an adorable baby.
74
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,529
I'll hold him while...
75
00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:14,497
Oh, he doesn't like to be held.
76
00:04:14,521 --> 00:04:18,000
Oh. Well, then, just set
the little darling right here,
77
00:04:18,024 --> 00:04:19,802
and I'll watch him.
78
00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:24,074
Well, he doesn't like
to be touched, either.
79
00:04:24,098 --> 00:04:25,808
Very well, just as you say.
80
00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:31,714
Ohhh... Hello, cutie.
81
00:04:31,738 --> 00:04:36,319
Is Auntie Gladys going
to change you, huh?
82
00:04:36,343 --> 00:04:39,289
I suppose you're wondering
why I came in with a baby.
83
00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:40,556
No.
84
00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:43,059
Edgar is Edna's child.
85
00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:44,215
Edna is my sister.
86
00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:49,098
Edgar was born the very
same week as Tabatha.
87
00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:51,634
Oh, but they're
completely different.
88
00:04:51,658 --> 00:04:54,570
How nice,
considering he's a boy.
89
00:04:54,594 --> 00:04:57,507
Oh, no, I mean really different.
90
00:04:57,531 --> 00:04:59,208
Well, I wouldn't be surprised.
91
00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:01,844
Edgar is much more advanced.
92
00:05:01,868 --> 00:05:07,083
Aren't you? Aren't you?
You little Einstein, you!
93
00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:10,820
You see, my sister's
husband is a CPA,
94
00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:12,722
and you know how smart they are.
95
00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:15,392
So naturally Edgar
is much farther along
96
00:05:15,416 --> 00:05:17,527
than other babies his own age.
97
00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:19,595
Now, take Tabatha.
98
00:05:19,619 --> 00:05:22,332
Edgar was crawling
almost a week before...
99
00:05:22,356 --> 00:05:23,866
Ow!
100
00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:25,568
Ooh!
101
00:05:25,592 --> 00:05:26,970
I pricked myself.
102
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:29,172
Oh, I'm so sorry.
103
00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:32,275
Yes, but I wasn't
even near a pin.
104
00:05:32,299 --> 00:05:34,043
I'd finished.
105
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:38,614
Oh, don't you worry, sweetums.
106
00:05:38,638 --> 00:05:42,552
You'll clench your fist,
and you'll gurgle and laugh
107
00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:46,778
and eat with a
spoon just like Edgar.
108
00:05:48,415 --> 00:05:52,828
Now that Auntie Gladys has
made you all comfy-wumfy,
109
00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:57,333
maybe nice old granny will
give you some milky-wilky, huh?
110
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,135
No, thank you, Mrs. Kravitz.
111
00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:01,639
I don't care for any.
112
00:06:01,995 --> 00:06:03,305
She talked!
113
00:06:03,329 --> 00:06:04,741
So she did.
114
00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:07,710
The baby talked!
115
00:06:07,734 --> 00:06:11,013
Abner, I tell you,
that baby talked!
116
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:12,682
I heard it with my own ears.
117
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:15,151
You mean you let
her get a word in?
118
00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:17,253
I asked it if it
wanted some milk.
119
00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:19,789
And she said, “No, thank you.
120
00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:21,057
I've just eaten."
121
00:06:21,081 --> 00:06:22,458
So?
122
00:06:22,482 --> 00:06:24,994
What's so remarkable about
that? The kid wasn't hungry.
123
00:06:25,018 --> 00:06:28,198
Abner, infants don't talk.
124
00:06:28,222 --> 00:06:29,966
Even Edgar doesn't talk.
125
00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:31,201
You make up for him.
126
00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:32,835
Abner, I'm telling you.
127
00:06:32,859 --> 00:06:35,572
I heard that little
baby, Tabatha, talk.
128
00:06:35,596 --> 00:06:37,339
Now, do you believe me, or not?
129
00:06:37,363 --> 00:06:39,041
Why shouldn't I believe ya?
130
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:41,077
For a year now,
you've been telling me
131
00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:42,878
there's funny things
going on over there.
132
00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:45,014
Once you saw people flying,
133
00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:47,984
then you saw pictures hanging
themselves on the walls.
134
00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:50,119
Now you tell me
an infant can talk.
135
00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:52,922
Know something?
You're improving.
136
00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:54,079
Mah!
137
00:06:55,715 --> 00:06:59,128
Come on. You come sit over here.
138
00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:00,152
Yes, indeed.
139
00:07:09,162 --> 00:07:10,639
Yes?
140
00:07:10,663 --> 00:07:12,608
Samantha?
141
00:07:12,632 --> 00:07:14,110
Oh, fine.
142
00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:15,844
Fine. Did you have a nice lunch?
143
00:07:15,868 --> 00:07:17,580
Oh, no, no trouble.
144
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:19,482
No calls.
145
00:07:19,506 --> 00:07:22,785
Yes, she's right here in my
arms looking so bright-eyed,
146
00:07:22,809 --> 00:07:25,388
you'd think she
was about to talk.
147
00:07:25,412 --> 00:07:27,090
Oh, no, no, dear.
Take your time.
148
00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:28,191
No rush.
149
00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:30,326
Bye-bye.
150
00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:33,562
There, yes, that was your mummy.
151
00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:36,165
Yes, I'm going to tell
you another nice story
152
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:38,101
about two naughty
little children,
153
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:40,470
called Hansel and Gretel.
154
00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:44,640
Yes. Of course, I'm
going to tell you the truth
155
00:07:44,664 --> 00:07:46,075
about Hansel and Gretel.
156
00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:48,311
Not any of those old falsehoods
157
00:07:48,335 --> 00:07:51,547
they've been spreading
around for years.
158
00:07:51,571 --> 00:07:54,183
Now, there. Are you comfortable?
159
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:56,452
Yes. The book?
160
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,321
Here we are.
161
00:07:58,345 --> 00:08:01,357
Let's see if we
can find the story.
162
00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:03,193
Yes, here it is.
163
00:08:03,217 --> 00:08:07,163
Now, "Once upon a
time, a nice, kindly witch
164
00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:10,266
"lived in a gingerbread
house in the forest.
165
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:13,236
She wasn't bothering
anyone or causing any harm."
166
00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:15,137
You understand that, Tabatha.
167
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:18,208
"Well, unfortunately, one
day, two nasty little hooligans
168
00:08:18,232 --> 00:08:21,844
"called Hansel and Gretel,
found the gingerbread house.
169
00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:23,513
"Well...
170
00:08:23,537 --> 00:08:26,382
"without so much
as a by-your-leave,
171
00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:29,085
"the two little gluttons
broke off her window ledge
172
00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:30,186
and ate it!"
173
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:33,022
Now, what do you think of that?
174
00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:34,257
Yes.
175
00:08:34,281 --> 00:08:37,227
"Well, naturally, the nice
witch was concerned."
176
00:08:37,251 --> 00:08:39,929
I mean, who likes vandalism?
177
00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:48,971
Mr. Stephens!
178
00:08:48,995 --> 00:08:51,028
Oh, Mr. Stephens! Wait!
179
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:54,911
Oh, Mr. Stephens.
180
00:08:54,935 --> 00:08:56,179
Oh, hi, Mrs. Kravitz.
181
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:58,714
I just wanted to
congratulate you on Tabatha.
182
00:08:58,738 --> 00:09:00,383
What about Tabatha?
183
00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:03,452
Well, about the way
she talks and everything.
184
00:09:03,476 --> 00:09:04,720
Oh, it's wonderful.
185
00:09:04,744 --> 00:09:06,155
A genius on my very own block.
186
00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:08,457
Tabatha talked?
187
00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:10,026
Why, yes. I heard her.
188
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:13,329
She said, “No, thank you,
Mrs. Kravitz. I won't have any".
189
00:09:13,353 --> 00:09:14,830
She meant milk.
190
00:09:14,854 --> 00:09:16,799
I had suggested that
she have some milk.
191
00:09:34,974 --> 00:09:37,219
Hello, Tabatha.
192
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,977
I'm your Daddy.
193
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,825
Do you have anything
to say to Daddy?
194
00:09:42,849 --> 00:09:44,560
Is there anything you'd like?
195
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:47,597
Just tell Daddy,
and I'll get it for you.
196
00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:50,132
I imagine she'd like her
dinner. It's already in the...
197
00:09:50,156 --> 00:09:51,233
Shh!
198
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:52,602
Let her say it herself.
199
00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:55,838
Darrin, are you all right?
200
00:09:55,862 --> 00:09:57,039
Fine.
201
00:09:57,063 --> 00:09:58,641
Just fine for a man
who's just learned
202
00:09:58,665 --> 00:09:59,909
his infant daughter can talk.
203
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,377
Tabatha, talk?
204
00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:02,978
Mrs. Kravitz told
me all about it.
205
00:10:03,002 --> 00:10:04,781
How she said, “No,
thank you, Mrs. Kravitz.
206
00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:05,982
I don't care for any milk.”
207
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:07,083
Mrs. Kravitz?
208
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,751
No, Tabatha!
209
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:10,186
You mean you didn't hear it?
210
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:11,621
No, I didn't.
211
00:10:11,645 --> 00:10:13,689
It must've happened
while we were having lunch.
212
00:10:13,713 --> 00:10:15,057
When the babysitter was here.
213
00:10:15,081 --> 00:10:16,159
Mother!
214
00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:17,827
What mother?
215
00:10:17,851 --> 00:10:20,029
Your Mother.
216
00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:21,563
Sam!
217
00:10:21,587 --> 00:10:23,933
Well, um, uh, Darrin,
218
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,935
the babysitter got the flu,
219
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,303
and I couldn't get anyone else.
220
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:29,439
I didn't want to
break our lunch date.
221
00:10:29,463 --> 00:10:30,906
Well, it was the
only thing to do.
222
00:10:30,930 --> 00:10:32,307
Honey, you didn't.
223
00:10:32,331 --> 00:10:34,176
You didn't leave
Tabatha alone with that...
224
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,778
That... That broom jockey.
225
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:37,680
Darrin, she is my mother.
226
00:10:37,704 --> 00:10:39,448
She got her feelings
hurt when I refused,
227
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,183
she promised she
wouldn't do anything.
228
00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:43,852
Promises or no, you don't
leave a four-time loser alone
229
00:10:43,876 --> 00:10:45,187
with an open safe!
230
00:10:45,211 --> 00:10:46,188
Oh.
231
00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:47,189
Can you get her here?
232
00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:49,659
That won't be necessary.
233
00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:52,862
Broom-jockey, am I?
234
00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:54,229
Mother, you promised.
235
00:10:54,253 --> 00:10:56,666
Truly, darling, I just
couldn't help myself.
236
00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:59,101
Couldn't help yourself?
Is that your excuse?
237
00:10:59,125 --> 00:11:01,737
Darrin, Darrin. Now, just
give her a chance to explain.
238
00:11:01,761 --> 00:11:03,294
Mother, you come down here.
239
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:09,078
That very foolish woman
and her very advanced nephew
240
00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:10,446
just got on my nerves,
241
00:11:10,470 --> 00:11:14,217
so I put a few simple
words in the baby's mouth.
242
00:11:14,241 --> 00:11:16,919
Oh, it was more than
human flesh could bear!
243
00:11:16,943 --> 00:11:17,987
You're not human!
244
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:19,055
Darrin. True.
245
00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:20,256
Mother.
246
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:22,258
How dare you play
your stupid, childish tricks
247
00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:23,326
on an innocent baby?!
248
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:24,593
Mother... Darrin.
249
00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:26,195
There's no need to shout.
250
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:27,329
You'll disturb the baby.
251
00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:29,398
The baby, you couldn't
care less about the baby!
252
00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:32,568
Now, can't we just discuss this
253
00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:34,337
like adults?
254
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:39,141
That baby, my granddaughter,
was being insulted.
255
00:11:39,165 --> 00:11:42,311
She was made to sound
like a dim-witted lump!
256
00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:43,946
So what? Darin!
257
00:11:43,970 --> 00:11:45,081
All that's important
258
00:11:45,105 --> 00:11:46,982
is that she's a normal,
healthy, happy baby.
259
00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:51,553
There, she isn't happy anymore.
260
00:11:51,577 --> 00:11:53,055
There, you see? You see?
261
00:11:53,079 --> 00:11:54,090
You made the baby cry.
262
00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:55,858
I'm entitled! I'm her father.
263
00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:58,627
And from now on, you keep
your conjuring mitts off of her!
264
00:11:58,651 --> 00:11:59,651
Uh-oh.
265
00:12:00,787 --> 00:12:02,865
Don't go away. I'm not finished.
266
00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:04,300
Oh-ho-ho-ho!
267
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:06,903
That's where you're
wrong. You're all finished!
268
00:12:06,927 --> 00:12:08,370
Mother! Don't you dare.
269
00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:10,006
That's right, that's right.
270
00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:12,590
Not in front of the baby.
271
00:12:13,633 --> 00:12:15,744
This is the house
with the talking baby?
272
00:12:15,768 --> 00:12:17,746
This is it. Their
name is Stephens.
273
00:12:17,770 --> 00:12:18,847
Oh, no!
274
00:12:18,871 --> 00:12:20,816
What's the matter, Mrs. Kravitz?
275
00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:24,087
You can't keep a thing
like this to yourself.
276
00:12:24,111 --> 00:12:26,989
A thing like this
belongs to the world.
277
00:12:27,013 --> 00:12:29,058
Daily Mail, ma'am.
278
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:33,863
We got a call from some lady,
says you got a... talking baby.
279
00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:35,497
Yes, that was me.
280
00:12:35,521 --> 00:12:37,967
Uh, Mrs. Kravitz, with a K.
281
00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:39,902
R-A-V-I-T-Z.
282
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,571
That's her.
283
00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:43,406
She's the one.
284
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,207
Hello, Tabatha.
285
00:12:45,231 --> 00:12:48,411
These are the
gentlemen of the press.
286
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:51,414
Mrs. Kravitz, I'm sure
you've made a mistake.
287
00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:53,583
Well, I know what I heard.
288
00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:56,652
Gentlemen, I'm sorry that, uh,
you've been brought out here
289
00:12:56,676 --> 00:12:57,887
on a wild-goose chase, but...
290
00:12:57,911 --> 00:13:00,923
Yes. I don't know what
Mrs. Kravitz told you.
291
00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:04,794
The truth, the whole truth
and nothing but the truth.
292
00:13:04,818 --> 00:13:06,529
But the baby didn't talk.
293
00:13:06,553 --> 00:13:09,598
Gurgled maybe or, uh...
294
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,801
Or maybe there was a
radio playing somewhere,
295
00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:13,269
and that's what she heard.
296
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,638
Radio. Anyway, uh,
297
00:13:15,662 --> 00:13:18,141
you can see for yourself,
she's just an infant.
298
00:13:18,165 --> 00:13:19,942
Oh, she doesn't
even say "Mama" yet.
299
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:21,076
No.
300
00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:22,745
Well, we figured as much.
301
00:13:22,769 --> 00:13:24,013
We had to check it out.
302
00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:25,481
Hey, wait a minute!
Wait a minute!
303
00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:28,684
She heard it. She can tell you.
304
00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:30,352
My mother-in-law
didn't hear a thing.
305
00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:33,222
Oh. Are you referring to me,
306
00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:35,625
the broom jockey?
307
00:13:35,649 --> 00:13:36,993
What about it, lady?
308
00:13:37,017 --> 00:13:39,061
Besides, she makes up things.
309
00:13:39,085 --> 00:13:41,564
Y-you can't believe
a thing she says.
310
00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:42,765
On the contrary,
311
00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:45,501
my grandmother
always tells the truth.
312
00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:48,158
Ah-ha!
313
00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:53,309
Did...? Did you
hear what I heard?
314
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:56,778
How about a little statement
for the press, honey?
315
00:13:56,802 --> 00:13:58,414
Not tonight, gentlemen.
316
00:13:58,438 --> 00:13:59,948
I haven't had my dinner.
317
00:13:59,972 --> 00:14:01,050
Okay. Hold it!
318
00:14:01,074 --> 00:14:02,484
We'll see you tomorrow.
319
00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:05,087
Oh, what a story.
320
00:14:05,111 --> 00:14:07,089
So long, folks.
Look for yourselves
321
00:14:07,113 --> 00:14:08,157
in the morning edition.
322
00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:09,392
Hey, wait a minute!
323
00:14:09,416 --> 00:14:11,460
Wait for me! Wait till I
tell you how these people
324
00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:12,983
fly in and out of windows...
325
00:14:20,259 --> 00:14:24,162
Darrin, you can push
Mother just so far.
326
00:14:49,989 --> 00:14:52,090
Sam?
327
00:14:53,493 --> 00:14:54,670
Sam!
328
00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:57,072
Samantha... Shh!
329
00:14:57,096 --> 00:14:58,106
Ooh!
330
00:14:58,130 --> 00:14:59,442
Maybe nobody'll notice.
331
00:14:59,466 --> 00:15:00,543
Not notice?
332
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,210
This is the kind of
thing people eat up!
333
00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:03,612
We're in for it, believe me.
334
00:15:03,636 --> 00:15:06,615
Oh, Darrin, I'm sure people
have much too much to do
335
00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:09,039
to bother about a
silly thing like this.
336
00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:19,294
Good morning, Tabatha.
337
00:15:19,318 --> 00:15:20,863
Ready to give us
that statement now?
338
00:15:20,887 --> 00:15:23,432
When was the first time
she talked, Mrs. Stephens?
339
00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:24,867
Looks like any ordinary baby.
340
00:15:24,891 --> 00:15:26,335
Some ordinary!
341
00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:28,236
She already talks
better than you.
342
00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:29,604
Kitchy-koo, Tabby!
343
00:15:29,628 --> 00:15:31,707
Who do you like in the
National League pennant?
344
00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:33,876
I'm sorry. This has
all been a mistake.
345
00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:35,344
How do you like that?
346
00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:36,512
People have a smart baby
347
00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:38,435
and all of a sudden,
they get snooty!
348
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:42,851
Oh, my stars!
349
00:15:42,875 --> 00:15:44,219
No!
350
00:15:44,243 --> 00:15:47,022
Definitely, emphatically,
categorically, no!
351
00:15:47,046 --> 00:15:49,024
But, Darrin, it's perfect.
352
00:15:49,048 --> 00:15:51,193
Can't you see it?
Out of her own mouth.
353
00:15:51,217 --> 00:15:52,861
"I like Nasely's Baby Food
354
00:15:52,885 --> 00:15:55,564
because it's got the taste
and texture that's right."
355
00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:57,233
Then we dub in a baby chorus
356
00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:59,601
with Tabatha singing
the Nasely jingle.
357
00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:01,370
Larry, for the last
time, she can't talk!
358
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:03,271
Oh, come on, buddy boy!
359
00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:05,808
Let's not carry this
modest-parent thing too far.
360
00:16:05,832 --> 00:16:06,875
There were witnesses.
361
00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:08,210
She won't do it!
362
00:16:08,234 --> 00:16:09,278
Ah-ha!
363
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:10,746
What ah-ha?
364
00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:13,070
You said, “won't,” not “can't.”
365
00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:15,985
What are you doing?
366
00:16:16,009 --> 00:16:18,754
The heck with you.
I'll ask Tabatha.
367
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,329
Who is it?
368
00:16:27,353 --> 00:16:28,353
Mailman!
369
00:16:29,755 --> 00:16:31,867
Daily Mail, ma'am.
370
00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:36,205
What does Tabatha think of the
American income-tax structure?
371
00:16:36,229 --> 00:16:39,297
I don't think she's
too crazy about it.
372
00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:42,678
Sam...
373
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:44,546
Hi, sweetheart.
Where'd you come from?
374
00:16:44,570 --> 00:16:46,581
I snuck in the back
way to avoid the crush.
375
00:16:46,605 --> 00:16:47,983
Oh, this is terrible.
376
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,451
They haven't let
me alone all day.
377
00:16:49,475 --> 00:16:50,953
I know. Me too.
378
00:16:50,977 --> 00:16:53,422
Larry wants Tabatha to give
testimonials for baby food.
379
00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:54,556
Oh, marvelous.
380
00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:56,758
I tried to get Mother,
but she won't come.
381
00:16:56,782 --> 00:16:57,827
I think she's still mad.
382
00:16:57,851 --> 00:16:58,851
She's mad?!
383
00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:02,131
Oh, I've been at it all day.
384
00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:03,833
Your turn.
385
00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:05,289
Unh...
386
00:17:07,126 --> 00:17:09,104
Hello.
387
00:17:09,128 --> 00:17:11,606
Yes, this is Darrin Stephens.
388
00:17:11,630 --> 00:17:13,976
What?
389
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,779
You want to rent her?
390
00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:21,516
For six weeks to run her
through a series of tests.
391
00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:23,652
Look, why don't you guys
go back to finding a cure
392
00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:24,887
for the common cold.
393
00:17:24,911 --> 00:17:26,255
Who was that?
394
00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:28,378
The Mayo Clinic.
395
00:17:30,149 --> 00:17:32,327
Tonight, all America
is agog over the report
396
00:17:32,351 --> 00:17:33,796
that little Tabatha Stephens,
397
00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:35,831
an infant girl no
longer than my arm,
398
00:17:35,855 --> 00:17:39,168
speaks the King's English
as well as you or I do.
399
00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:41,437
Reliable sources
report that the Stephens
400
00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:42,971
have already been contacted
401
00:17:42,995 --> 00:17:44,540
by the Hollywood Palace TV show.
402
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:45,941
Sam?
403
00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:48,411
Oh, they wanted her to
emcee, but I turned them down.
404
00:17:48,435 --> 00:17:51,480
And this evening, TASS,
the Russia news agency,
405
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:53,282
announced that in Moscow,
406
00:17:53,306 --> 00:17:55,984
a baby two weeks younger
than Tabatha Stephens
407
00:17:56,008 --> 00:17:58,020
speaks perfect Russian.
408
00:17:58,044 --> 00:17:59,989
Figures.
409
00:18:00,013 --> 00:18:04,960
Meantime, in
Washing... Who is it?
410
00:18:04,984 --> 00:18:06,062
Mailman.
411
00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:07,696
You tried that before.
412
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,766
U.S. Mail. Special delivery.
413
00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:12,523
You better be.
414
00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:14,603
It's for Tabatha.
415
00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:16,505
Got to deliver it personally.
416
00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:18,941
She's in conference.
417
00:18:18,965 --> 00:18:20,742
Sure would like to
see that talking baby.
418
00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:22,533
Sorry.
419
00:18:24,537 --> 00:18:25,614
Who's it for?
420
00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:27,738
Oh, dear. Tabatha.
421
00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:33,021
It's from Harvard University!
422
00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:34,923
They're offering
her a scholarship.
423
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:37,326
Harvard University?!
But she's a girl.
424
00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:39,261
They'll make an exception.
425
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:40,829
Oh, Darrin, what
are we going to do?
426
00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:42,030
I don't know.
427
00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:43,732
Your mother's really
done it this time.
428
00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:45,568
She's got to be the
one to get us out of this.
429
00:18:45,592 --> 00:18:49,705
Sam, that's like asking a
cobra to help out a mongoose.
430
00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:51,073
Just a minute.
431
00:18:51,097 --> 00:18:52,874
I have an idea.
432
00:18:52,898 --> 00:18:54,176
And it might work,
433
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:55,711
but I'll need Mother's help,
434
00:18:55,735 --> 00:18:58,647
if I can get her here.
435
00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:00,316
Okay, but just keep
Tabatha upstairs.
436
00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:01,383
Mm-hmm.
437
00:19:01,407 --> 00:19:03,953
Bye, sweetheart.
438
00:19:06,912 --> 00:19:08,457
Sam. Hmm?
439
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:11,060
Can you create, um, a diversion?
440
00:19:11,084 --> 00:19:13,484
Oh, I'll do better than that.
441
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,520
Go on.
442
00:19:18,858 --> 00:19:20,035
Thanks, honey.
443
00:19:20,059 --> 00:19:21,059
You're welcome.
444
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:34,750
Bye, honey!
445
00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:35,774
Bye-bye.
446
00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:50,566
Come on, Mother.
447
00:19:50,590 --> 00:19:53,335
I want to show you
what's been going on.
448
00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:55,670
There must be at least
100 people out there.
449
00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:58,907
Oh, it's remarkable what
a little publicity will do.
450
00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:00,909
Now, I realize that
you did what you did
451
00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:02,177
only out of love for Tabatha,
452
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,678
but don't you know
what this means?
453
00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:06,115
All her life she'll have a
mob of people around her.
454
00:20:06,139 --> 00:20:07,316
She'll never be alone.
455
00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:09,551
That's nothing to
worry about, Samantha.
456
00:20:09,575 --> 00:20:12,154
Little girls like to be
the center of attention.
457
00:20:12,178 --> 00:20:13,822
I always did.
458
00:20:13,846 --> 00:20:18,026
Well, if you're willing
to make the sacrifice.
459
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:20,562
What sacrifice?
460
00:20:20,586 --> 00:20:23,265
Well, she won't belong
to any of us anymore.
461
00:20:23,289 --> 00:20:25,567
She'll belong to her public.
462
00:20:25,591 --> 00:20:27,302
Oh, I suppose
you'll get to see her
463
00:20:27,326 --> 00:20:28,803
once or twice a year.
464
00:20:28,827 --> 00:20:30,038
If you make an appointment.
465
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,573
Appointment?
466
00:20:31,597 --> 00:20:33,742
Appointment to see
my own granddaughter?
467
00:20:33,766 --> 00:20:35,944
Well, you don't think you'll
be able to play with her
468
00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:38,413
or take her for a walk
any time you want, do you?
469
00:20:38,437 --> 00:20:40,115
She'll be a celebrity.
470
00:20:40,139 --> 00:20:42,351
One lump or two?
471
00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:45,720
Well, is there any
way to stop all this?
472
00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:48,957
Well, I do have an idea.
473
00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:51,226
But I'll need your help.
474
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:52,616
All right.
475
00:20:53,819 --> 00:20:56,498
Hi there, Mrs.
Kravitz, Mr. Kravitz.
476
00:20:56,522 --> 00:20:58,600
Come right on in. Make
yourselves at home.
477
00:20:58,624 --> 00:20:59,635
Come in, gentlemen.
478
00:20:59,659 --> 00:21:01,325
Thank you.
479
00:21:03,028 --> 00:21:04,306
I don't think they'll buy it.
480
00:21:04,330 --> 00:21:06,490
Keep your fingers crossed.
481
00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:12,180
Well, how does it feel
to be a celebrity, honey?
482
00:21:12,204 --> 00:21:13,582
I beg your pardon?
483
00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:15,183
She doesn't look
any different to me.
484
00:21:15,207 --> 00:21:17,367
That's the one that flies.
485
00:21:18,077 --> 00:21:20,089
I asked you all over tonight
486
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:21,990
because I'd like to
make an apology.
487
00:21:22,014 --> 00:21:23,959
Now, all this business
about Tabatha talking
488
00:21:23,983 --> 00:21:25,860
has been an unfortunate
misunderstanding.
489
00:21:25,884 --> 00:21:26,895
Yes.
490
00:21:26,919 --> 00:21:28,464
And once it got started,
491
00:21:28,488 --> 00:21:30,099
we just didn't
know how to stop it.
492
00:21:30,123 --> 00:21:31,967
Well, let's get to the
point, Mrs. Stephens.
493
00:21:31,991 --> 00:21:33,602
When did Tabatha start to talk?
494
00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:35,570
That is the point. She didn't.
495
00:21:35,594 --> 00:21:37,539
I mean, she hasn't.
496
00:21:37,563 --> 00:21:39,574
Perhaps I should explain.
497
00:21:39,598 --> 00:21:42,177
You know, when I was
younger, I was in vaudeville.
498
00:21:42,201 --> 00:21:44,413
Maybe you heard of me.
499
00:21:44,437 --> 00:21:48,083
I was known as
Endora the Miraculous.
500
00:21:48,107 --> 00:21:50,252
She's miraculous, all right.
501
00:21:50,276 --> 00:21:51,820
Oh, thank you.
502
00:21:51,844 --> 00:21:54,089
My specialty was ventriloquism.
503
00:21:54,113 --> 00:21:56,292
I did baby voices.
504
00:21:56,316 --> 00:21:57,726
They were quite effective.
505
00:21:57,750 --> 00:22:00,461
And so when this lady
came over the other day,
506
00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:03,432
I couldn't resist the
temptation to try it out again.
507
00:22:03,456 --> 00:22:06,735
So you see, Tabatha
didn't really talk at all.
508
00:22:06,759 --> 00:22:08,003
Now, wait a minute.
509
00:22:08,027 --> 00:22:11,507
I was this far away,
and I saw this baby talk.
510
00:22:11,531 --> 00:22:14,476
Would you mind not
breathing in my face, sport?
511
00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:16,278
Like that?
512
00:22:16,302 --> 00:22:18,246
Her lips moved that time.
513
00:22:18,270 --> 00:22:21,517
Well, I don't know.
It's awful realistic.
514
00:22:21,541 --> 00:22:26,455
She may have made Tabatha
talk, but not by ventriloquism.
515
00:22:26,479 --> 00:22:28,924
There's something
very strange about her.
516
00:22:28,948 --> 00:22:30,693
Gladys, will you stop?
517
00:22:30,717 --> 00:22:32,060
No, I will not.
518
00:22:32,084 --> 00:22:34,630
It is time that people
found out about this house.
519
00:22:34,654 --> 00:22:36,699
Oh, weird things go on in here.
520
00:22:36,723 --> 00:22:39,601
They have powers,
supernatural powers!
521
00:22:39,625 --> 00:22:42,637
Oh, you wouldn't believe
the things I've seen.
522
00:22:42,661 --> 00:22:44,973
Gentlemen, I guess
I'll have to prove to you
523
00:22:44,997 --> 00:22:47,509
how simple it is to
make a baby talk.
524
00:22:47,533 --> 00:22:49,111
Here, darling.
525
00:22:49,135 --> 00:22:51,213
Will you hold your child?
526
00:22:51,237 --> 00:22:53,081
There.
527
00:22:53,105 --> 00:22:55,017
Now, then, Mrs. Kravitz...
528
00:22:55,041 --> 00:22:56,084
No, don't touch me!
529
00:22:56,108 --> 00:22:58,286
Oh, but it's very
easy, you know.
530
00:22:58,310 --> 00:22:59,722
You can do it too.
531
00:22:59,746 --> 00:23:03,491
Just throw your voice
to the back of the throat
532
00:23:03,515 --> 00:23:05,827
and talk very high.
533
00:23:05,851 --> 00:23:07,629
Go on, try it.
534
00:23:07,653 --> 00:23:08,797
Oh, no, I will not!
535
00:23:08,821 --> 00:23:10,199
Abner, make her stop!
536
00:23:10,223 --> 00:23:11,333
She's gonna do something.
537
00:23:12,358 --> 00:23:13,469
She did!
538
00:23:13,493 --> 00:23:15,493
She turned me into a baby.
539
00:23:16,562 --> 00:23:18,340
Hey, that was pretty good.
540
00:23:18,364 --> 00:23:20,375
So you see, that's
all there was to it.
541
00:23:20,399 --> 00:23:23,379
I'm awfully sorry if there
was a misunderstanding.
542
00:23:23,403 --> 00:23:25,323
Gee, you sure
caused a sensation.
543
00:23:26,338 --> 00:23:28,217
Well, we'll have
to print a retraction.
544
00:23:28,241 --> 00:23:29,351
How does she stop?
545
00:23:29,375 --> 00:23:31,887
Talk in your normal voice.
546
00:23:31,911 --> 00:23:34,523
I am talking in my normal voice.
547
00:23:34,547 --> 00:23:35,846
Mother...
548
00:23:38,684 --> 00:23:41,463
Oh, would it be terrible if
I were like this all my life?
549
00:23:41,487 --> 00:23:42,964
That, I would agree with.
550
00:23:42,988 --> 00:23:44,533
Hey, I'm normal.
551
00:23:44,557 --> 00:23:46,797
That, I wouldn't agree with.
552
00:23:48,727 --> 00:23:50,939
Come on, Gladys.
553
00:23:50,963 --> 00:23:56,733
But... But... You see
how simple it was?
554
00:24:06,112 --> 00:24:08,690
Darrin, I think that you should
tell Mother that you're sorry.
555
00:24:08,714 --> 00:24:10,993
I know it was all her
fault to begin with,
556
00:24:11,017 --> 00:24:14,029
but she did such a wonderful
job of straightening everything out.
557
00:24:14,053 --> 00:24:16,631
And I'm sure she's forgiven
you for the way you talked to her.
558
00:24:16,655 --> 00:24:17,932
Forgiven me?
559
00:24:17,956 --> 00:24:20,035
I must say, that's sweet of her.
560
00:24:20,059 --> 00:24:21,970
Mother.
561
00:24:21,994 --> 00:24:23,038
Mother.
562
00:24:23,062 --> 00:24:24,639
Where are you?
563
00:24:24,663 --> 00:24:26,308
This is the last straw!
564
00:24:26,332 --> 00:24:27,309
Sam, get her back here.
565
00:24:27,333 --> 00:24:28,310
Mother!
566
00:24:28,334 --> 00:24:29,611
Endora, you come back here
567
00:24:29,635 --> 00:24:31,880
and change my voice right away.
568
00:24:31,904 --> 00:24:34,416
Thank you, Mother.
You're a great help.
569
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:36,885
That's what
mothers are for, dear.
39211
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