Original subtitles

Hi. This is Elizabeth Montgomery,

inviting you to stay tuned for Bewitched.

In gay Paris, it's s'il vous plait,

in Germany, it's bitte.

Please, Serena, come this way. I need a baby-sitter.

Ha!

Do I look like Mary Poppins to you?

Well, I'll admit, it's casting against type.

But Esmeralda's not available,

and I have a charity luncheon to go to.

And you'd be doing me a big favor.

Charity luncheon?

Do you realize

that the French fleet at Saint-Tropez

was about to crown me Miss Naval.

Well, I'm sorry, Serena,

but your trophy room is overflowing as it is.

And I'm late. Please be good.

I haven't much choice.

I have to go. I'll be back in a couple of hours.

Right on.

Blah.

Hi.

Oh, well.

Hi there, snow-white and handsome.

Hi, Serena.

Anything I can do for you?

Uh, no, no, no.

I just came by to, uh, return Darrin's body.

I mean, his putter. Heh, heh.

Well, I'll just leave it here and be on my way.

Do you know

that your far-out, baby-blue eyes

kind of turn me on?

Serena, you certainly know how to flatter the senior citizens.

Oh, daddy bear.

Did I ever tell you

that I am simply wild about gray hair?

No, as a matter of fact...

You are?

Well, I've earned every one of them.

Oh, and I love your sense of humor.

So why don't you stick around

and we'll break out a bottle of the bubbly

and drink and dance

and putter around.

Watch it, Serena.

You're gonna turn the old gray fox

into the red devil of yesteryear.

And I could do it too.

I'd believe it.

No. I mean really.

Here.

This will put the color back in your hair

and the bloom of youth back in your cheek.

What is it?

Vitamin V.

"V"?

For va-va-voom.

Vitamin, huh?

Vitamin plus.

Well, I suppose there's no harm.

Show me a man who has never taken a chance

and I'll show you a man who has never lived.

I didn't know I was taking a chance.

Okay, forget it.

Just kidding, just kidding.

Yummy, huh?

What's in it?

Extract of ambrosia.

Delicious. Well, I'd better be on my way.

Oh, stick around.

That pill's a fast worker.

Really? Mm.

And so am I.

Serena, you're unique, to say the least.

You have no idea.

Yes.

Well, uh... Well, thanks for the pill.

I'll be seeing you.

Party poop.

Hello.

Hi.

Oh, Larry!

"Oh, Larry" what?

Well, I think it looks great,

but you should have warned me.

About what?

Oh, come on, Larry. Now, don't be coy.

Do me a favor, Louise.

Call Berlitz and get me a translator

because I have no idea what...

Louise,

you won't believe this.

What do you mean, I won't believe it?

I mean, I can see it, can't I?

You still won't believe it.

Serena.

Oh!

Well, Serena, how did everything go?

Oh, everything went just fine.

Tabitha and Adam wanted milk with lunch,

so I zapped up a guernsey

and milked them a couple of glasses.

Terrific.

Anything else?

Let's see.

Oh, yes.

Weirdo's boss dropped by to return a stick

he called a putter.

And I guess that's it. End of news report.

Serena signing off, and taking off.

Ta.

Well. Only one harmless cow.

If that's all she did,

I guess we can count our blessings.

Well.

How about that. Amazing, isn't it?

Oh, hi, Sam. Well, what do you think?

Well, it's a little redder than it used to be.

And I owe it all to Serena and her little magic pill.

Bless her heart. Where is she?

Uh. She had to leave.

Well, we've gotta get in touch with her.

I don't think she knows what she's got.

Oh, I think she knows what she's got.

Uh, what do you mean you owe it all to Serena?

Serena's Vitamin V pills. Va-va-va-voom!

They're sensational.

Don't tell me you didn't know about them?

Oh, yes, I... I knew about them.

Have you ever thought of putting them out commercially?

No.

Well, I have. Why?

Why? Serena's little pill is worth millions.

Billions.

Forget it, Larry.

It was just for the immediate family

and Serena was very naughty to have told you about it.

I see.

I've got a couple of tough negotiators here.

Okay. I'll tell you what.

I'll be responsible for the marketing,

and I'll give you a 20 percent finder's fee.

Look, Larry, I don't blame you for being excited about this...

Hold it.

Hold it, Darrin.

Are you sore because I want a part of the action?

There's not gonna be any action.

Very well. Forget it.

Oh, forgive me for being pushy.

I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.

I'll take 20 percent, I'll give you 80...

Boy, that red hair sure has made a change in you.

It's more than a new color. It's a new me.

Now, think it over, and I'll meet you at the office

first thing tomorrow morning.

Then we'll go over the small print.

Sam, I'm really worried.

There's something strange happening to him.

It's not just his hair. He looks younger.

Oh, it's probably your imagination.

No, no. No, I don't think so.

What do you think?

Uh. Well,

I... I think that Larry's going to be just fine.

Hm. Unless...

Unless what?

Unless Serena slipped him a sort of a youth pill.

What's a "sort of a youth pill"?

It's a pill.

And it makes him sort of get younger.

And younger.

And younger?

I knew that freaked-out, ding-a-ling cousin of yours

wouldn't stop at a cow.

I heard that.

Buster.

Serena, you're all wet.

So is he.

Serena? Stop.

Eighty-six the downpour.

Darrin, when will you learn

that Serena is a highly sensitive creature?

Sure.

Like Attila the Hun.

I figured all you'd want this morning was a cup of coffee.

Wrong.

All I want this morning is Serena

and that antidote for Larry.

Sweetheart, I have tried all morning to reach her.

Darrin, my guess is that if you just announce

to the atmospheric continuum that you're sorry,

Serena will get the message.

No sooner said than done.

Serena, I'm sorry.

I'm just a pushover for a sweet-talking man.

Even if he is a weirdo.

What's everybody so uptight about?

Serena, did you or did you not give Larry a youth pill?

Just a little one.

Enough to make him back up, oh, eight, 10 years, or...

Or what?

Or more.

How could you do such a terrible thing?

Well, the children were upstairs playing at the time

and there wasn't anything else to do.

Don't you realize that...

Never mind.

That pill has never been given to a mortal.

So there's no telling what will happen.

Now, why don't you be a good cousin

and find Dr. Bombay, and get an antidote.

Okay.

But believe me,

this is the last time I do a favor

for any creepy mortal.

Bye, ding-dong.

Darrin.

I love you.

What does that have to do with anything?

Nothing.

I just like to remind you at times like this.

Now, honey,

I realize it's not your fault.

Entirely.

What do you mean "entirely"?

Well, Serena is your cousin.

I, uh, guess I better stick with "I love you."

Funny.

Oh, Samantha, I'm so sorry to barge in on you like this,

but I just had to talk to somebody.

Uh, let me guess, it's about Larry?

Oh, yes.

I... I'm really worried about him.

He's acting strangely.

Oh. Well, they all do sometimes.

Come in and sit down.

What do you mean exactly by, uh, "strangely"?

Well, take last night, for instance.

He had a caterer bring in

a complete candlelit dinner for two.

With champagne.

And then, after we'd finished dinner,

he found some old Glenn Miller records

and we danced till 2 in the morning.

Well, that sounds like fun.

Until he suggested we go for a ride.

And do you know where we went?

Where?

We went to Lovers' Lane.

Well, I think that's romantic.

Oh, we've been married for over 20 years.

When we finally did get home, I collapsed in a heap

then he called me a party poop.

I'm sure it's just a passing thing.

I guess his hair's gone to his head.

Um... what I meant...

I know what you meant.

But the thing that really worried me

is when he put on that television set

and started looking for the Jack Paar Show.

Oh, Samantha, I think he's having a nervous breakdown.

Darrin, don't you think you should be getting to the office?

All right.

Come in.

Stephens. Come in, come in.

Ha, ha, ha.

Sit down.

Uh... "Stephens"?

Yes, we're an informal outfit here.

You can call me Tate.

Uh, look, Larry... Tate.

About that pill...

So you met McMann, huh? Well, he is a bit of a pill

but once you get to know him, he's not so hard to swallow.

Heh.

Well, it's nice to have you aboard.

I beg your pardon?

Nautical term. I was Navy.

It means, "Welcome to the outfit."

Stephens, I've been studying your dossier,

and unless all this is lies,

you've got the stuff to go far in this business.

And business is going to be booming, son.

The '60s are gonna be a decade of growth.

And we're going to share it.

The '60s?

Oh, I know a lot of people have their doubts,

but the more optimistic of us even hope that the New York Mets

might win the World Series before the '60s are over.

Yeah, that could happen. Maybe even by 1967?

You married?

Yes, sir.

I am too.

We should get together sometime. Maybe catch a ball game.

Sure, and sort of, uh, root those Mets into a pennant?

Ha, ha, ha. I like that optimism.

We're gonna get along just fine, Stephens.

Keep that nose to the grindstone.

You know, we here at McMann & Tate believe in advancement.

And as an incentive,

if you're still with the outfit two years from now,

you'll become a first vice president.

Oh, thank you very much. I'd...

W... W... What did you say, Tate?

I said, that if you're still with...

Now I remember what you said.

Would you mind putting that in writing?

Ah-ha. I like that, Stephens.

Get it down in writing.

October the 15th, 1961.

If, at the end of two years,

Darrin Stephens is still with the firm,

he shall become a first vice president.

Signed, Larry Tate.

There you are.

Black on white.

Well, thank you very much, Tate.

Okay, Stephens. Battle stations.

What?

Battle stations.

Oh, yeah. Aye, aye, sir.

Hello.

Sam, it's me.

Have you heard from Serena yet?

Not yet.

Sometimes Dr. Bombay can be very hard to track down.

Well, things here are worse, and that's an understatement.

You better get over here right away.

Well, Louise is resting in the den.

I'll make my excuses and be right there.

Ah!

Sam, I wish you wouldn't do that.

Sorry, sweetheart.

I'll be more careful in the future.

If there is a future.

Honey, you've got to help me get Larry out of his office

before he gets any younger.

How young is he?

Let me put it this way.

I'm gonna have to introduce you to him.

That's young enough.

Is this your office, sir?

Oh, boy.

Are you lost too, sir?

No.

Oh, no, we're not lost. Not yet.

Well, I am. Lost and very, very confused.

I'd surely appreciate you telling me what I'm doing here.

You, uh, don't know what you're doing here?

Do you know who you are?

Sure, I'm Lawrence Tate.

Oh, I'm Darrin Stephens, and this is my wife, Samantha.

Pleased to meet you. How do you do?

What happened to me?

Well, what happened was...

What's the last thing you remember?

Last thing I... I was playing ice hockey for my school team.

I was coming down the ice, right toward the goalie...

You were hit in the head by a puck

and you lost your memory.

Oh?

That's it.

Now, let's get you home.

I'd like to get home.

I don't want to be late for Amos 'n Andy.

Hey. Hey, this isn't my house.

You're gonna make me miss Amos 'n Andy.

And after that's The Lone Ranger.

Heh. Sort of cute, isn't he?

Sam.

My name isn't Sam. It's Larry.

And what happened to my clothes? And who are you?

Well, we're, uh, friends

o-of your parents.

What happened?

It's all right, Larry. Everything's gonna be okay.

Let's go inside, Larry.

This isn't my house. Why am I going in here?

Because you're lost.

I'm not lost.

I know where I live. I live at 1432 Elm Drive.

If you live at 1432 Elm Drive

what are you doing here at our house?

I don't know.

Doesn't that prove you're lost?

Come on, let's go in and see if we can find you.

Oh.

Uh. The children are out back playing.

You're not my mom.

Who's he, Sam?

Oh, he's just one of the neighborhood children.

I have to get him home soon. Let's go upstairs.

What's that?

It's a television set.

What's a television set?

It's radio with pictures.

Sammy? I'm upstairs with the goodies.

Oh, it's cousin Serena, making a delivery.

You're gonna love my cousin. Come on upstairs.

There's something strange about that child.

Oh? I hadn't noticed.

Ma'am, are you gonna take me home?

I certainly hope so.

Hi, coz. I've got the antidote.

You can go home right after you take your medicine.

What about me?

You're excused. And use the door.

Not even a thank you? Later, Serena.

Ta-ta.

Oh. Hi there,

tall, dark and dull.

Why should I take medicine? I'm not sick.

This isn't sick medicine.

It's growing-up medicine.

But I'm tall for my age.

Take it and you'll grow up to be a cowboy, like Tom Mix.

I don't wanna grow up to be a cowboy like Tom Mix.

I wanna grow up to be a lover like John Barrymore.

Here. Drink it.

It's yummy.

Now can I go home?

After you take a little nap.

Now, lie down over here.

Sam.

Well, he'll grow into them.

And get rid of Serena.

Oh. Your cousin has just been telling me

about your family doctor.

Do you think I could consult him about Larry?

Um, stick to your own doctor.

Uh, Serena,

thank you so much for the, uh, plant grower.

How long does it take to work?

Like almost immediately, coz.

What am I doing here?

Why didn't you tell me Larry was here?

What's everybody doing here?

Oh, Larry!

You're back to your old, gray self again.

I am?

I am.

Well, Serena,

worked for a while.

Maybe you got hold of a bad pill.

They're all bad pills, Serena.

Anything you say, coz.

Well, I guess I'll split.

Try using the front door.

Sorry.

Bye-bye.

Bye. Goodbye.

That pill, it did crazy things to me.

I mean,

it made me look younger and feel younger,

but suddenly I started having these hallucinations

that I was getting younger and younger and younger.

It was like a bad dream.

You're awake now, so why don't you stay for dinner?

We'll spend a pleasant evening and try to forget what happened.

Sounds good to me.

Say, why don't we turn on the radio

and listen to Fibber McGee and Molly?

There he goes again.

Uh. Don't worry, Louise. It'll wear off.

Well, it...

Sam, it's a good thing

we didn't put that pill on the market.

You tried to warn me about possible side effects.

Larry, when you get those dollar signs in your eyes,

no amount of warning will help.

Don't you worry, Larry.

I'm not gonna say "I told you so."

I appreciate that.

But it was weird. I did a whole number about...

Well, like when I first met you, Darrin.

Oh, um, speaking of the first time we met.

I ran across a little item

the other day while cleaning out my files

that I think will interest you.

Oh. Uh, if you'll remember,

I mention from time to time

that you offered to make me a first vice president.

I don't remember writing this.

Well, that's your signature.

Yes, my signature, all right, and the date 1961.

But I'm afraid you found this a little too late.

This paper's invalid.

The statute of limitations has run out.

What's for dinner, Sam?

Oh, Larry, you're your old self again.

And we wouldn't want him any other way.