All language subtitles for 11 - Oedipus Hex

Mrs. Dumont?

You shouldn't tempt me, Mrs. Stephens.
I've already had too many.

Well, just perhaps this one.

-They're delicious.
-More tea?

No, thank you. I really must
be running. But you know...

...I'm so glad you've agreed to serve
on our Ways and Means committee.

You know, it's a good cause.

And the children really need that new
playground equipment in the park.

Oh, I know. And I'm looking forward to
working with Mrs. Wheeler...

-...and Mrs. Albright.
-Oh, they're both such dears.

And you know...

...they know just how to get into
every piggy bank in the community.

Will you be here tomorrow?

No, I'm afraid not, my dear.
I've got two other meetings.

Oh, Mrs. Dumont. You do so much.

As Herkimer says...

...it keeps me out of mischief.

But I'll try to drop by and see
how you're getting along.

-Thank you.
-Well...

...I'm off to the Junior Philharmonic
meeting.

I don't know how
I ever got involved in that.

I know very little about music.

Goodbye.

You know, I'll just hate myself
in the morning.

-Thank you. Goodbye.
-Bye.

Good morning, Samantha.

Good morning, Mother.
What brings you here so early?

Sheer boredom, darling.

Is...?

Is what's-his-name up yet?

Yes, Darrin is up.

But I hated to wake him.
He had rather a restless night.

Fair enough.

I wish he could forget
his work once in a while.

Oh, dear, without their work,
men are nothing.

They're like little children.

-Not Darrin.
-He thrives on the aggravation.

-He loves feeling sorry for himself.
-Well, personally, I'd like to have him...

-...around a little bit more.
-He'd just be underfoot, darling.

Trailing you all around the house.

Sucking his thumb.
Dragging his teddy bear.

All mortal men are like that.

You just don't know Darrin.

You won't take your wise old mother's
word about human men, will you?

-No.
-Well, you'll learn.

-I haven't got time for breakfast, honey.
-Hello--?

Darrin!

That's right.

Please, Endora,
not on an empty stomach.

Stop it, you two.

Talk about children.

Five minutes won't make a difference.
Sit down and have something to eat.

I'm too tense anyhow.
I'll see you tonight, honey.

Popcorn for breakfast?

Why not?

I'll have that breakfast now.

Darrin, what happened?

Nothing. I just got smart.
I got outside, and I said to myself:

"What are you
knocking yourself out for?

Just how important is it, anyhow?
Let Larry take care of it."

Well, darling, I'm proud of you.

I'm not going in at all today.

Good. You've been doing a lot of extra
work lately. You deserve a day off.

It's astonishing how
relaxed I feel about it.

I have shopping to do, and the TV man's
coming. Can I leave Tabatha?

Feel free.

Sorry Mother left.

That makes one of us.

I just wanted her to see that you can
relax and forget your work.

-I'll fix your breakfast.
-Thank you.

-Come in.
-Milk.

No kidding.
I thought you were the mailman.

Yeah, sure.

Hey, how about some
nice cottage cheese today?

Come on, Mr. Stephens.
Be a nice fellow.

My boss keeps bugging me
about my cottage cheese quota.

-That kind, huh?
-Oh, you got no idea...

...the problems your
average milkman has.

To begin with, I'm dealing
with women all day long.

One wants mango flavouring
in her yogurt.

Another one keeps complaining...

...that my non-fat milk
has too much fat in it.

And all the time I'm standing there...

...she keeps dipping into
a five-pound box of chocolates.

You hear?

That sounds like
a bad scene, all right.

Hey, how come you're home
today, Mr. Stephens?

Well, simple. I didn't feel
like going in today.

I like that.

He just didn't feel like working today.

Yeah!

-Pour yourself a cup of coffee.
-Right.

Sit down.

Here. Here's the sports section.

Right.

Now, that's what I call a nice,
healthy attitude.

My philosophy is, cottage cheese
is your boss's problem.

Yeah?

Beautiful!

Mr. Stephens was due here
for a meeting with me half an hour ago.

-Call his home.
-Yes, sir.

-Phone.
-Hello, phone.

It's not gonna stop.

Happiness House.

-Darrin?
-Hello, Larry. How are you...

...buddy boy?

No, I'm not sick.
I'm feeling great.

It's my boss.

Are you out of your mind?
Mr. Parkinson is on his way over here.

-Relax, relax.
-What?

-Let me talk to him.
-Just a minute, Larry.

Hello, Larry.

This is your friendly purveyor
of dairy products.

-What?
-The milkman.

Listen, Larry...

...I want you to stop
needling my pal Darrin here.

If he don't wanna come in,
he don't wanna come in. You got it?

Goodbye.

Hey, who do you like
in the fourth race?

Something wrong, Mr. Tate?

His milkman just chewed me out.

I better get over there
and get him...

...before the squirrels do.

You know what I enjoy
more than anything?

Just lying around watching
some other guy knock himself out.

Yeah!

You fellas are a big help!

What happened?
The cows turn off the faucets today?

I detect a note of hostility there.

Sure, I'm hostile.

I deal with nuts all day long,
and you fellas are no exception.

Do you mind if I join you?

-That's the spirit! Sit down!
-Be our guest.

The way I feel,
I may never fix another set.

-Darrin?
-Hi, Larry.

-What is going on here?
-What's doing?

Darrin, you're coming with me
to the office right now!

Hey, we happened
to be watching that show.

What? And ruin my whole day?

Larry, do you mind taking your
high blood pressure someplace else?

What? Darrin, for heaven's sake!

-You know what's wrong with you?
-The people working for me.

Knock it off, Larry. You've got a great
bunch of people working for you.

Like me, for instance. You just take
things too seriously, that's all.

Why don't you just relax, pal?

Now, just a second.
You're not my pal...

...pal.

Larry, you're getting
all worked up over nothing.

Now, just how important
is Parkinson? I mean, really.

That's a very interesting question.
Let's see, now.

Parkinson. Who's he?

I think you're bluffing.

I will raise you another million.

Okay.

There's that million.
And I'll up you another million.

-Hello, everybody.
-Oh, hello, Mrs. Stephens.

-Hi, Sam.
-Hi, sweetheart.

Hello, darling.

Throw in a million for me. I call.

You're in.

-What do you got?
-A pair of threes. What about you?

I was bluffing.

Honey, we just made $15 million.

Well, these groceries
cost $17 million.

Easy come, easy go.

Darrin, would you please take
these into the kitchen for me?

Sure. If you can't wait, deal me out.

We'll wait. Got nothing else to do.

-How about some sandwiches, honey?
-Hold it, smiley.

-Yeah?
-I'm very glad to have you home, but--

Why, thank you, sweetheart.
Sandwiches?

All right, would you mind
telling me what's going on?

What are Larry and the milkman
and the TV man doing here?

Well, you know how I decided
not to go to work today?

-The idea kind of caught on.
-That's strange.

-Not at all.
-Now, darling, you know I have...

...a meeting this afternoon,
so I'll need the living room.

-Oh, that's right.
-Would you mind telling them?

-I will right now.
-Thank you.

We'll move the game out to the patio.

Hello, Mrs. Stephens.
I'm Sarah Albright.

And this is Mary Wheeler.

Oh, do come in, and please,
call me Samantha.

Thank you.

Oh, what a lovely home you have.

Oh, that's my husband.

He took the day off.

Oh, how nice that he can do that.

Oh, you have the table
all set up for us. Good.

-We can get right down to work.
-I can't tell you how much...

-...I've been looking forward to this.
-Once you get involved...

...Lucille Dumont will see that you're
kept very busy with committee work.

I like the feeling of being useful.
After all, our little daughter...

...will be using that playground
equipment someday.

Hey, Sam, Darrin says
we need more sandwiches.

Oh, hi, there, ladies.

Tell Mr. Stephens that
I'm very busy at the moment.

Right.

Isn't that our milkman?

I was wondering what
happened to him this morning.

He's some sort of self-made
philosopher...

...and he and my husband
got into a deep discussion.

And I said to Sgt. McGreevy:

"Goodbye, sarge.
When I get back...

...I'm gonna tell the keeper
of the gorilla cage to expect you."

That's funny, I said the same
thing to my sergeant.

-Really?
-No kidding? That's what I said to mine!

Isn't that a coincidence?
I said practically the same thing!

You're putting me on!

Look. I've got a very short fuse,
and it's burning!

-But Mr. Parkinson--
-I'm a very busy man, and my time...

...is worth money. I'm sending them
a bill for the half-hour I've waited.

And in another five minutes,
I go on double time!

I'll try to reach them for you.

You do that.

Well, how about a raffle?

Let's say 50 cents a ticket?

That means
we'd have to sell 2000 tickets.

What about 75 cents a ticket?

That sounds better.

-Oh, excuse me.
-I'll get it, honey.

Oh, thanks, sweetheart.

Let's see.

Hello.

Oh, hi, Miss Stewart.

Yeah, we're here.

Mr. Parkinson's there? Well,
I guess never the twain shall meet.

-It's Parkinson.
-Oh, give him my regards.

Sure, I'll talk to him.

Hello, Parky. How are you?

Larry sends his regards.

Now, cool it, Parkinson.
Sure we have the layouts.

-Excuse me.
-They're great!

Today just isn't the day for a
conference. The moon's out of whack.

The planets are in
the wrong quarter or something.

Darrin! Will you please
keep your voice down?

Oh, sorry, honey. Hey,
Parky, I can't talk to you anymore.

You're disturbing my wife's
meeting. About those sandwiches--

-Make them yourself.
-Okay.

Never mind. On second thought...

...just stay out of the house,
and stay out of my way.

But, Sam, I can't eat
any more of that popcorn.

Well, I'm sorry, Larry, but them's
the conditions that prevail.

Well, I'd be happy to take
the Maple Heights area.

I'm sure I can get
other women to volunteer.

That's a large area
to cover, Samantha.

Oh, well, it'll give me a chance
to meet some of my neighbours.

It'll give me an opportunity to
see the houses from the inside...

...that I've been admiring
from the outside.

We all like to do that, don't we?

My goodness.

It's usually so quiet around here.

Pardon me.

-Where are they?
-Who?

-Those two idiots, Tate and Stephens!
-If you're referring to my husband...

-...and his associate, they're in back.
-They won't be there long!

-Now, just a minute.
-Don't let me disturb your meeting.

Mr.--!

That was Mr. Parkinson.
He's a very important client.

Now, look here, Tate! Are you
still in the advertising business...

...or are you starting
a retirement community?

Parkinson, would you mind
turning down your PA system?

My wife's having
a very important meeting.

This is an outrage! You have
a confirmed appointment with me!

Perhaps we should call off the
meeting and have it some other time.

No. No, no. I'm sorry.
Please, let's go on.

I chose your agency because I thought
you were responsible people!

I set aside the whole day for you!

Well, you're through representing
Randolph Parkinson, Jr., as of now!

Thanks. Thanks for the lovely lunch.

Instead of having just a routine
printing job done on the tickets...

...I'll ask my husband
to have the advertising agency...

...design something different
and arrange for the printing.

Oh, that would be wonderful.
Do you think he'd do it?

I promise you he will.

Honestly.

Now, who is the untidy little
lady who parked her car...

...half on and half off the curb?

Do you happen to be the little lady
who likes to live so dangerously?

The gentlemen is in the backyard.

I look forward to meeting him.

Well, go right on through, officer.

Everybody else has.

I may just break down and cry.

And there we were...

...a bunch of GIs, fresh from the
Battle of the Bulge, when we spotted...

...this French mademoiselle
washing her clothes down by the river.

Who owns the sedan parked out front?

I do, officer.

Thanks.

Here. Take care of this, will you?

Client relations is your department,
Darrin.

Right.

Happy New Year!

Just what do you think you're doing?

I think you're all crazy.

He thinks we're crazy?

Deal me in.

Deal him in!
Deal the man in!

This is really going to be quite a job.

Well, this is too much.

Now, look here--!

Oh, Mrs. Dumont.

-We were hoping you'd come.
-Thank you.

Well, ladies,
how are we coming along?

Well, we've come to a--

Good gracious!

-Hey, there's a chicken in here.
-Is it dead?

-Hey, you got any bologna?
-Excuse me.

-What in the world?
-Where's the bread?

-Hey, you're all out of milk.
-I got a truck full of it.

-Oh, hi.
-Hi.

-Hi, sweetheart.
-Hi, honey.

You want a sandwich, Sam?

How about that?

-What?
-You've got to get rid of all these men.

They're just enjoying themselves...

-...forgetting their troubles.
-Do they have to forget here?

-They're ruining my meeting.
-I'm sorry, honey. I really am.

We appreciated the popcorn,
but we're hungry.

-We're growing boys!
-Popcorn? I didn't buy any popcorn.

Right there in the big bowl.

-Popcorn.
-Fellas, we owe the ladies an apology.

We've been ruining their meeting.

Well, let's all go in there and apologize.

We'll go out
and apologize, sweetheart.

-After you.
-Thank you.

Oh, Darrin. Darrin!

Mother.

I know you're here somewhere.

Mother, you take the spell
off that popcorn!

Mother!

You need $1000 and you're gonna
bother people with 75-cent tickets?

-That's ridiculous!
-That's the way we've always done it.

Well, forget it.
We'll get you the money, huh?

-Right.
-Ladies, I think it's time we left.

No, you sit right down, and
we'll show you how it's done.

Yes, yes, yes.

For a charming woman
like you, madam...

...the world!

All right, men.
Line up by the phone.

-Here we go.
-Let's go, Larry.

Speaking for myself,
this is just a waste of time.

Maybe we should reconsider
the composition of this committee.

-Popcorn, ladies, please?
-Thank you.

-How nice.
-Thank you.

Hello, Joe? Randolph Parkinson.

Some ladies are raising money
for playground equipment in the park.

I got you down for $100. Good!

Good!

Look, I've seen you spend more
at the country club bar in an afternoon.

Fifty dollars you're down for. Oh...

...listen, and put the bite
on Les, Jimmy and Al.

Stop crying, Jerry.
You live in the community, don't you?

And you've got a kid. Loosen up.
You can't take it with you.

Scratch my back, and I'll scratch
yours, Mr. Waggoner.

Send in that donation to the ladies...

...and I'll double
my cottage cheese quota.

Fair?

Isn't he cute?

The playground's in this precinct,
and it'll keep kids off the street.

Well, that's very generous
of you, Mr. Andrews.

Thank you.
Thank you very much.

-We made it. Come on, men.
-Oh, boy!

There you are, ladies. You'll have
over $1500 sometime tomorrow.

-You're oversubscribed.
-That's wonderful!

-We're so grateful.
-I must say I've enjoyed sitting here...

...eating this marvellous popcorn.

But I'm kind of sorry we shan't
need our committee anymore.

So am I. Thank you very much.

Not at all, not at all.

Well, ladies, would you like
some cottage cheese?

Chocolate milk for you.
Fresh milk for you.

-And non-fat.
-Non-fat. And cottage cheese for you.

All right, Mother. Come out,
come out, wherever you are.

You called me, dear?

All right, you've had
your jollies for the day.

You've had your laugh.
Now, please, take that spell off.

Anything to please my little love.

-Women and children first.
-Good.

We'll have a party!

I'm half an hour late
for my next meeting.

-Oh, I have a roast in the oven!
-I have to pick up Bobby.

Wait, where are you going?

-Goodbye, Samantha.
-Bye-bye.

Tate. Tate!

Now, where are my layouts?
Fun's fun and all that...

-...but business is business!
-Right, right. You're perfectly right.

-Darrin, you should be at the office.
-I'm on my way. Will you please...

-...get your truck out of my driveway?
-Yes, sir. Hey.

Would you please buy a couple quarts
of cottage cheese from me?

Stop bugging me! I got
a million calls! I can't finish lunch!

-Out of my way--
-Just a moment!

Little souvenir for you.

Oh, thanks. Here.

-Darrin, you're client relations.
-Fine, Lar.

Bye, honey.

It was a very relaxing morning.
I'll do this more often.

I hope not.

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