All language subtitles for 05 - A Most Unusual Wood Nymph

-Darrin?
-Yeah?

A cab just drove up.
It must be what's-his-name.

The friend of your great-aunt Leticia's
from Ireland.

-Gerry O'Toole? Oh, no.
-What's the matter?

This is one morning I can't afford
to be late to the office.

I hate to do this, but I have to
sneak out the back door.

-Well, that's not very hospitable.
-But look at the time.

Surely you can take just a minute
to say hello.

You can't say hello
to an Irishman in a minute.

I'll see him when I get home tonight.

All right. He's not
my great-aunt Leticia's friend.

Relax. I didn't even remember I had
a great-aunt Leticia until she wrote.

-Bye, honey.
-I should think you'd be curious...

-...to meet someone from Derrybrien.
-Not a bit.

Sure, and you must be Darrin,
or my name isn't Gerry O'Toole.

-Gerry?
-For Geraldine.

Oh, it's a darling home you have.

-A darling home.
-Thank you.

So you're Darrin. Your great-aunt
told me what a darling man you were.

She only said that because it's true.

What? Oh, yeah.

-She's got a great sense of humour.
-She's a darling.

How about a cup of tea?

Oh, no, no. I don't want you to go
to any trouble on my account.

-Oh, it's no trouble.
-I'll not be a burden to you.

I want to be treated just like
one of the family during my stay.

Oh, well, now, Gerry,
a cup of tea certainly isn't--

How long are you gonna
be able to stay?

Well, just till I get started.

Started with what?

Well, the first thing I'd best be doing
is finding myself a job.

What sort of work do you do, Gerry?

Well, if I do say so myself,
I'm pretty good at weaving.

Maybe I can find you something
in the garment industry.

Or you might even get a job
as a model.

A model.

Sure, and you're playing games
with me. Isn't he?

Not yet.

You don't have a cat here
in the house, now, do you?

-That's the baby.
-The baby.

Right. Ain't that darling?

-You don't like cats?
-That I don't.

The way they're always
sneaking around...

...and jumping at you
when you least expect it.

While you take care of the baby,
I'll show Gerry to the guest room.

That's a marvellous idea. While
Darrin's taking care of the baby...

...I'll show you to the guest room.

I must say, Samantha,
it was a wonderful dinner.

Thank you, Gerry.

Honey, you can't fix that.
The hole's this big.

Well, I can always make
another sleeveless sweater out of it.

-It's too late.
-Too late?

I'm afraid I mended it before dinner.

Let me see, honey.

That's about the best
reweaving job I ever saw.

Yes. It's most unusual.

Oh, my! What a lovely garden
you have out there.

Would you be a darling
and show it to me?

Well, sure. Come on, honey.

No, you two darlings go ahead.

Well, I've heard of being handy
with a needle, but this is ridiculous.

And what's even more ridiculous
is your gullibility, my dear.

Did you ever see a human
who could do weaving like that?

Mother, Gerry's a friend
of Darrin's great-aunt.

If she is, I'm his great-uncle.

-You mean she's one of us?
-No.

Just think a minute.

Hates cats.

A wood nymph.

And there's only one thing
a wood nymph hates worse than a cat.

And that's...

-...a witch.
-A witch.

-Yes.
-Well, I wonder what she wants.

I don't know,
but you'd better find out.

And fast.

Bye.

Oh, Samantha,
it's a lovely garden you have.

Well, thank you, Gerry.

Darling, I thought I heard the baby.
Would you mind taking a peek?

Sure. Maybe Gerry would like
to watch television.

-I have other entertainment in mind.
-Well, good.

All right, you.
What do you want here?

Why, whatever do you mean?

You're a wood nymph, aren't you?

Right you are. That I am.

And I don't mind telling you...

...it's a great relief
to be getting it off me chest.

-Well, I mean, the burden of carrying--
-Hold it.

Never mind the blarney.
I want to know what you're doing here.

Well...

...as you must know,
it's the work of a wood nymph...

...to bless the homes of all
the true sons of the old sod.

And me, I've been taking care
of Darrin's family for centuries.

And that's why I come.

We've been in this house
for over two years.

What took you so long?

Well, we are a bit behind
in the schedule.

I mean, especially
with the immigrants.

The fact that I'm married
to Darrin doesn't bother you?

You mean because you're a witch?
Oh, no. Of course not.

That's all changed now.

It's forgive and forget,
that's our feelings now.

Really? Well, I'm surprised
Mother didn't know about that.

That's only because it isn't true.

It's not?

Now, look here, woody.

-Baby's okay, honey.
-Oh, dear.

She's as snug as a--

Sorry I had to put you in the deep
freeze, but we have to thrash this out.

All right. Now, I want the truth.

If you don't tell me why you're
really here, I'll let them in.

No, no. Don't be doing that.

-Will you tell me the truth?
-Yes, yes. Don't let them in.

Well?

It's the curse of Killcarney County
that's brought me here.

-The curse of what?
-Killcarney County.

That was the manor house
of Darrin the Bold.

He was an ancestor to your Darrin.

And he lived in the 15th century.

Well, what did Darrin the Bold do?

He slew Rufus the Red,
that's what he did.

He was a darling man
and a good friend.

The way he'd always leave
little bits of food out on the doorstep...

...so we'd never go hungry.

And when Darrin slew him...

...we put a curse on him
and on all his descendants.

So now you know.

But that's not fair.

My Darrin didn't have
anything to do with it.

Well, I know that,
but a curse is a curse.

And I shouldn't have to be
telling the likes of you that.

Mother! Mother,
you're going to have to do something.

Oh, Samantha,
please don't carry on so.

It's embarrassing and human.

Now, actually, he just might
survive this curse, you know?

Suppose he doesn't.

Well, we can't fight progress.

Mother! Now, I choose
to believe that you're joking...

...but whether you are or not,
I am not going to take this lying down.

Now, do you remember when all this
happened? The exact date, I mean?

Sure I do. It's burned in me memory.

Why, we even made up
a poem about it:

'Twas the 12th of Michaelmas
In '72

When Darrin the Bold
Our Rufus did slew

It was a better rhyme
in the 15th century.

Yes, well....

All right,
how about a temporary truce?

-Well, I--
-You've waited 500 years.

Now, a few hours
can't make any difference.

I don't think--

All right, all right.

-Mother?
-What?

I'd like to speak to you in private.

As soon as I get him
back in circulation.

--bug in a rug.

-Excuse me.
-Oh, sure.

Would you like to watch TV?
There's a good movie on.

-Oh, what is it?
-The Cat and the Canary.

Why don't we just sit down
and have a little chat.

Well, that suits me.

Samantha, you can't be serious.

Oh, but, Mother, it's the only way.

-"Undo the Deed" is the only way.
-No.

Oh, Mother, please let's try
"Undo the Deed."

I wish you'd stop referring to it
as if it were some parlour game...

...instead of one of the most
dangerous of all practices.

If I can go back to the 15th century,
I can stop Darrin the Bold...

...from killing Rufus the Red,
and the curse will be removed.

You don't realize how risky it is.

Once you go back in time, you won't
be able to use your witchcraft.

-I know.
-You have only your wits to rely on.

Well, I realize that it's a risk,
but that's the chance I'll have to take.

Oh, Samantha,
I cannot let you do it.

Mother, somebody has to go back to
the 15th century to save Darrin's life.

You wanna do it?

Samantha...

...get ready for takeoff.

To undo the deed
That once was done

To now undo the deed
That's done

Into the past
The days do run

We seek the day
The deed was done

Take care of the baby, Mama,
and Darrin.

I think Donald is being
well taken care of.

You're beautiful, baby.
You're marvellous.

Sire!

This is good, but you're better.

Oh, please, sire.
I have to finish me work upstairs.

Not until you finish
your work downstairs.

Well.

Your tankard of ale, sire.

And what is your name, lass?

Samantha, sire.

Samantha.

Oh, that's a lovely name.
It's lovely, lovely.

Upstairs, wench,
and finish your work!

Tell me something, girl.

Aye?

How is it that the likes of you
has escaped me notice...

...when there's a light about you that
shines forth like a beacon at sea...

...and your hair
all golden around your head...

...and your eyes sending out
an invitation...

...to any man who has eyes
for a girl with spirit and fire?

-How's that again?
-Where have you been all me life?

I was waiting for you
to come to Killcarney.

My name is Darrin the Bold.

Well, sure, and I didn't think
you were Darrin the Meek.

I dearly love a saucy lass.

Oh, the beauty of you
takes my breath away.

You are a knockout.

If it's taming you want,
you came to the right place.

If you'll excuse me, sire, I have to
get back to me duties in the kitchen.

Oh, but a lass like you shouldn't be
slaving away in the kitchen.

You're much too pretty for that.

How would you like
to move up in the world?

-Move up?
-I want you at me side.

Oh, well, thank you, sire.

But I'm not thinking
of marriage right now.

Neither am I. I'm thinking
of making you the upstairs maid...

...you little vixen, you.

Don't be afraid of me, lass!

Don't be afraid of me, Darrin.

I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid.
Where is everybody?

-Your wife's away on an emergency.
-Where?

Oh, I'm that sorry.
Did I hurt you, sire?

Me, Darrin the Bold, who's faced
the fierceness of the Norman foe...

...and taken the measure
of the murthering English...

...hurt by a frail lass like you?

Oh, boy, you don't know
your own strength, girl.

A noble lord waits without
and would speak with you, sire.

Let him enter!

Enter!

I am Rufus the Red.

I am Darrin the Bold.

I would set up me camp
in your fields for the night.

You may do so.

You will provide grain for the horses
and food for my men?

-If you pay.
-A guest does not pay.

-A guest is invited.
-I do not pay!

I do not give!

Pay. Give.

You've got a great deal to learn
about chivalry, sir.

Do you prefer to duel
on foot or mounted?

On foot. That way,
you'll be closer to your grave.

-At my camp?
-Within the hour.

So be it.

-Come!
-Sire...

...I must speak with ye.

What is it, lass?

In private.

Oh, in private it is.

I'll see you in my room, anon.

-But--
-Anon!

-Who goes there?
-'Tis I.

You belong to Darrin, do you not?

I belong to no man.

Well, now, come in, come in.

And what can I do for you, lass?

Would you put your wee boot
on that, sire?

Height, 6'3".

-Well, what are you doing?
-Oh, don't pay any attention to me.

Waist, 36.

Now, place your arms so, sire.
Now breathe in.

Now out.

Will you tell me what you're doing?

First, what do you weigh?

Thirteen stone eight, but--

Oh, no doubt about it.

I'm going to need a very sturdy cloth.

What are you talking about, lass?

Well, would you believe it?

The last few souls that
challenged his master...

...came right through the shrouds.

Shroud? You're measuring me
for a shroud?

Oh, not a thing to worry about, sire. I'm
the best shroud-maker in the country.

And you work for Darrin the Bold?

Only for the master, sire.

Why, there aren't enough hours
in the day or night...

...for me to make
all the shrouds I have to make.

He keeps you that busy?

Well, I'm not sure about that, sire.

Perhaps it would be fairer to say...

...that the men who challenge
the master keep me that busy.

Why, just last month, he....

Well, come in, lass, come in.

Please, sire, I've come to speak to you
on a matter of grave importance.

Go ahead, lass, I'm listening.

Somehow I'm getting the feeling
that I don't appeal to you.

Oh, no, no, sire. I really like you.

It's just that I'm shy.

If you were any shier,
I'd be bruised from head to toe.

What is this matter
of grave importance?

Well, I just happened to be walking
by the camp of Rufus the Red...

...and I overheard
some of his men talking.

Now, whatever you do,
don't fight Rufus on foot.

He's killed over
a hundred men that way.

A hundred men--

-A hundred men, you say?
-Aye.

Why do you think
they call him Rufus the Red?

Not because of his hair?

Because of:

Perhaps it would be wiser
if I fought him mounted.

It would be, except that he's killed
even more men on horseback.

If I were you, I'd try some other way.

What other way is there?

Well, how about
a nice wrestling match?

You seem to be very good at that.

Enter!

Oh, Muldoon,
it's not time for the duel yet.

There's no rush.

There's no duel, sire.

There's not?

Why not?

Rufus the Red has sent men
to pay for the food and grain they need.

You don't say.

Oh, that's terrific.

I mean, the saints be praised.

So the snivelling coward
backed out of the duel?

Yes. But if you want
to go ahead with it, sire--

No!

After all, the man is my guest.

Yes, sire.

I'm wondering what made Rufus
change his mind.

Well, sire...

...maybe he heard what
a brave fighter you are...

...and of all the great battles
you've won...

...and the fierce dragons
that you've killed.

Aye, that would strike fear in--

What dragons?
I never fought a dragon.

-You haven't?
-No.

Not that I can remember.

Well, I wouldn't mention that
to Rufus.

He somehow got the impression
that you hold the world's record...

...for dragon slewing-- Slaying.

Now, if you'll excuse me, sire,
me work here is finished.

Oh, no, it's not.

Mother!

I knew the lass had spirit,
but this is ridiculous.

Are you all right?
Oh, me poor darling.

-I really fell head over heels.
-Oh, it's all my fault.

Oh, no, you tried to warn me.

Oh, look, Gerry--
Gerry-- Gerry, please.

I think I better tell you something.
I'm very much in love with my wife...

...and if you don't stop
chasing me around...

...I'll be on crutches
by the time Samantha gets back.

Well, well.

When the cat's away, the mouse
will play, won't she? Or try to.

Well, I-- I was just trying to give
a bit of comfort to the poor man.

Sure you were.

Well, Gerry, me darling, you'll be
happy to know that you can leave now.

I've undone the killing
of Rufus the Red...

...and the curse on Darrin Stephens
has been lifted.

I don't believe you.

Well, go home. You'll find out.

I'm not budging
till I have positive proof.

-Well, how else can I prove it?
-That'll not be a problem of mine.

Well, if you won't go back...

...there's only one thing I can do.

-Mother?
-Yes, dear?

She wants positive proof.

You shall have it.

-Rufus, me darling.
-Gerry, my love.

Oh, Samantha, I want you
to meet a darling man...

...the love of my life, Rufus the Red.

We've sort of met.

Is that you, Samantha?

Oh, dear. Yes, Darrin.

Don't tell me he's here.

I'd hate to have to explain all this,
so if you don't mind--?

Not in the least.

It's happy indeed, you've made me.

Come, darling. Goodbye, Samantha.

You're a love!

-Hi.
-Hi.

-Did you miss me?
-I sure did.

With someone like Gerry
to keep you company?

-Oh, come on.
-She's awful pretty.

But, Sam, she's too aggressive. She's
gonna have trouble getting a man.

Oh, I don't think so.

By the way, she told me
to tell you goodbye.

She left? How come?

Well, you might say
she got her old job back.

Good. Anyway, I'm glad to see you.

Darrin?

You ever thought
of growing a moustache?

No.