Original subtitles

Don't fight it.

I'm not fighting, sir, I merely...

Give the man the tie!

Take it off!

All right, I'll give the guy...

Shh.

- All right... - Shh!

Put 'em down!

Shh, quiet!

Will you tell him to put his hands down?

- All right. - Please let me have your tie.

All right!

Put your hands down!

You don't have to fight about it.

Here.

- There you are. - Thank you.

There's nothing to it.

Thank you very much.

Now your shirt, sir.

My shirt?

Yes.

I mean, I don't get it...

Take it off!

Okay, I mean, I know how to undress myself.

- Nobody has to tell me. - Well, show the man

that you can do it.

I mean, I know how to do this.

Quite, sir, I'm sure you do.

Oh, take it off, take it off.

All right, all right.

Here.

Take yours off too.

Your pants, sir.

Think they'll fit you?

Take the pants off!

Okay, all right, I mean, after I...

Put your leg up, sir, will you?

No, not, please, sir.

Just a minute, just a minute.

All right, all right.

- Take it easy. - All right.

There you are, get up on your feet, get up.

Okay.

Now.

I think you're ready now, sir.

My bath is ready?

Yes, sir.

I will go.

And I think I will return in a jiffy.

I dare say, a fortnit.

Toodle-oo.

Oh, yes.

Mrs. Winthrop.

Yes?

Something terrible has happened.

What's the matter?

Our luggage has disappeared.

Vanished into the thin air.

I think it was

misappropriated by one of your servants.

Impossible.

I trust them all implicitly.

Why, they've been with me for years.

It couldn't be one of the guests, what?

Oh no, out of the question.

That's absurd.

I'm sure your luggage was just misplaced.

I'll speak to Pipps.

Perhaps he can find some clothes for you for the time being.

Baron, look.

Look at that person.

He's wearing a blazer just like mine.

Who in the world is he?

How do you do?

A ridgerous schedule, isn't it?

- Quite. - Quite.

Allow me to present Baron Sergei.

How do you do?

No, not me, there.

Baron Sergei.

And Count Alexis.

I don't believe I got your name.

Oh, of course not.

If you had my name, you would be my sister.

Goodbye, goodbye.

Nice seeing you, and when I see Mrs. Winthrop,

I will tell her all about you.

But I'm Mrs. Winthrop.

All right, when you see her, you tell her about me.

Thank you.

Toodle-oo.

Remarkable.

There you are, Albert.

You know, you look swell.

What do ya think, too much tie?

No, no, no, no, that's swell.

Now, let's go downstairs.

And be careful how you act at all times.

Never mind, put that down!

Albert!

Eddie!

Hello, Elsie.

What are you doing here?

We were invited.

We got an invitation.

We're society plumbers.

How did you get here?

Oh, it's all such a crazy thing.

I met Peter Evans at the Van Cleve party,

and he thought I was one of the guests

and offered to drive me out here.

But you're not one of the guests.

You must have told him a big fib.

I told him I was Elsie Hammerdingle,

but he wouldn't believe me.

And I let him go on thinking

that I belonged with these people.

But why?

Because I wanted to come here.

I wanted this weekend to remember.

I know how you feel, Elsie.

I felt the same way when you and I went on those picnics.

I know as soon as they find out who I am,

they'll throw me out, but in the meantime,

I have this one memory to dream about

for the rest of my life.

You love Peter Evans, don't you?

He's spoiled me for every man I'll ever meet after this.

He's wonderful, ain't he?

I guess you thought you were gonna get stuck

with a little fat plumber all your life.

Oh, come, come, come, come.

Look, Elsie, we'll do everything to help you out.

Yes.

I'm gonna try hard, Elsie.

We'll make these people think that we were

the best brought-up society people they ever saw.

I'll put on the dog just for you, Elsie.

That a boy.

It's breakin' my heart, but I'm gonna do it for Elsie.

That's swell.

Thanks, Albert.

You're the second-nicest boy I know.

- Oh. - What's the matter?

- Eddie. - What?

I'll never wash my face as long as I live.

Oh, come on, go ahead.

- Oh, Eddie... - Put your hat on.

Never mind that.

Don't rub it off, don't rub it off!

All right, keep it...

Hold it, hold it, hold it.

Pick your hat up.

I'm sorry, gentlemen,

that our clothes are not an exact fit.

I did my best, of course.

Look!

Those men again.

And again their clothes look familiar.

Remarkable!

Hey, Eddie.

Now what's wrong?

I don't know what seems to be wrong with this coat,

but it seems like there's some starch or somethin' up here.

- It's very stiff. - Lookit here, lookit here.

Look at this.

What's the matter?

Now sit down and behave yourself!

How do you do?

This is the first opportunity I've had

to welcome you to Briarwood.

How do you do, Mrs. Briarwood?

I'm not Mrs. Briarwood, I'm Mrs. Winthrop.

This is Mrs. Winthrop.

Oh, then you two have met before.

No, not him.

You, I have met.

- You met me before? - Yes.

Then we're old friends.

Of course, you know this party is for charity,

and I'm selling tickets to view

our rare old family treasure, The Plunger.

Why, I think it's a very, very good idea,

don't you, Edward?

- I mean that... - Yes, yes.

What'd you say?

To view our rare old family treasure, The Plunger.

The Plunger?

You mean it's gonna cost money to look at a plunger?

Why, of course.

$5 apiece.

Look, lady, I mean, after all,

are you gonna charge everybody here for that?

Yes.

Why don't you get 'em all together in one group,

and I got a plunger up in my bag.

You can take a look at that for nothin'.

Ah, but yours must be an imitation.

No, it's the real thing.

But my Plunger has been in the family 150 years.

- 150 years? - Yes.

Don't you think it's about time you threw it out?

Its exquisite coloring has never been surpassed.

Why, it's worth $150,000.

Oh, it must be a beaut.

Now, how many tickets will you have?

It's worth its weight in gold.

This I gotta see, Eddie.

- I wanna see this. - Yeah.

How much are the tickets?

$5 apiece.

- Oh, that's cheap. - Two of them.

Very cheap, very cheap, say no more.

Pay the lady for the tickets.

Pay the lady!

That's all you do, you just put your hand in your pocket,

but you never come out with nothin'.

- Very eccentric. - Is that so?

Pay the lady!

All right, all right!

Two tickets to see a plunger.

Thank you so much.

- Just this way, gentlemen. - Yes, surely.

Oh, I don't seem to recall your names.

I'm Mr. Harrington.

This is Mr. Mansfield.

Of the Little Rock Mansfields.

Oh, how do you do?

- Take an arm? - Right this way.

- Thank you. - Of course.

I know you'll enjoy it immensely.

Get away from the tree.

Pay no attention to him.

Peter, I've been looking all over for you.

Well, Miss Dinglehammer.

That's Hammerdingle.

Oh, of course, the lady cab driver.

Don't you think you ought to call your stand?

You may have some fares to pick up.

Oh no, I'm not working this weekend.

It seems to me you're working overtime.

Will you walk me to the unveiling, Peter?

Certainly.

Come on, Elsie.

Pardon me, Mrs. Winthrop.

May I take your photograph with these two gentlemen

for our society page?

Why, of course, it's okay, thank you.

Go right ahead.

And don't forget to mention that next week

we're having a special sale on secondhand washers.

- Thank you. - If they come out good,

I'd like about a dozen.

Thank you.

Well, now, about to see the plunger.

- The plunger, yes. - Let's see it.

- I'm just about to unveil it. - Very good.

A plunger with a veil?

I don't know.

If you please.

The Plunger.

What kind of plunger is that?

That must be the bathroom door.

The plunger must be in the inside.

Don't you understand?

That's the plunger there.

That's the plunger?

Sure, that big guy standing up.

That's a picture, that's a painting or something.

Yeah, it's a gambler.

Any man that gambles is a plunger.

Any man that gambles they call a plunger?

Yeah, if he gambles heavy.

Oh, I see.

And it's just a painting.

That's all, plunger.

Expensive painting too.

How much that cost?

$150,000.

You was cheated, Mrs. Winthrop.

What?

I don't even see $100,000 worth of chips on the table.

Oh, don't be a...

Unless they got it in their pockets, I mean.

This is the place I'm looking for, isn't it?

To be sure, sir.

My name is Drexel.

I'm a friend of Mr. Harrington and Mr. Mansfield.

What you mean is that Mrs. Winthrop

invited Mr. Peter Evans for the weekend,

he invited Miss Hammerdingle,

she invited Mr. Harrington and Mr. Mansfield,

and they in turn invited you.

Yes, we are a very hospitable group.

Drexel!

Marlow!

What are you doing here?

I'm something of an art collector.

I understand there's a valuable painting here.

Oh yeah, The Plunger.

The last time we met you were doing a stretch

for collecting paintings without the owner's permission.

This time my work is purely as supervisor.

I've got two stooges on the inside.

All of a sudden I'm an art collector too.

Count me in, I'm your partner.

Save me, help!

Help, save me!

Save me!

Help, help!

Help!

Hold onto me, boy.

Go ahead, kid.

I'm gonna sue you in every court in this world!

What's the matter, didn't I just save your life?

Yeah, but where's my hat?

What in the world is this?

How do you like this guy?

I just saved his life!

You saved whose life?

His.

Do you know this guy?

No.

You had no business going out there.

You had no license to go out after that man.

Whaddya mean, you gotta have a license to go save a guy?

Listen, just...

I mean, after all, what do you want me to do,

run downtown to the bureau and say gimme a license,

I want to jump in and save a man?

Don't you know there's lifeguards?

They've got families.

Those families depend on the salaries

that those lifeguards earn to jump in swimming pools

and oceans and save people.

And you, as soon as their back is turned,

you deliberately sneak into the pool

and do the work for nothing!

Don't ever do a thing like that.

Don't ever...

- I'm sorry I saved you. - You should be sorry!

Pardon me, do you mind?

Do you mind very much if I settle this argument?

I wish you would.

You tell Eddie everything, go ahead.

Thank you very much.

Well, that's better.

- Wait, wait! - Help!

Wait, I'm gonna run down and get a license!

- Come on. - I'll be right back!

Wait there!

Keep out of people's business.

Mr. Drexel.

Well, Eddie and Al, how are ya?

Glad to see ya.

You mean you're not mad at us?

Of course not, I'm your pal.

What about the thousand dollars?

Oh, let's not talk about that now.

What are you doing here?

I'm here on business.

Maybe you can help me.

Why, certainly.

There's a package I'd like you to carry home for me.

Sure, he's the greatest little

package carrier in the world.

- I'll be glad to help you. - Sure.

What's in it?

Well, it might be a painting.

The Plunger?

It could be.

Well, we won't help.

And if you do anything like that, we'll expose you.

You heard that, didn't you, Mr. Drexel?

You do anything like that, and we'll turn the hose on you!

I was just trying to test your honesty.

I'm glad you stand the test.

Run along and enjoy yourselves.

- Swell. - We stand all kind of tests.

- Come on. - Just keep testing us.

- Come on. - Test us.

What did they say?

They said they'd expose me

to Mrs. Winthrop if I try anything.

How are your knives these days?

I still keep them sharp and handy.

Just this way, please.

Mrs. Winthrop asked me to bring you two gentlemen

down here so you could choose your mounts in the fox hunt.

Fox hunt?

Oh, certainly.

What would a weekend be without a fox hunt?

You know, last season all we shot was grouse.

Oh, and I bagged three of the greese myself.

- Greese? - Greese.

Greese is not plural.

It ain't singular.

I mean, after all...

Yes, indeed...

Well, my good man, get me my mount.

And get me the biggest mount that you got.

What's a mount?

A mount's a horse.

Hey, don't!

You can kill somebody with those.

Now, cut it out.

Hey, Eddie, are you gonna...

What did ya do to Eddie?

Now, are you gonna help Drexel with the job?

I won't give in, Eddie, I won't give in.

With this last knife

I'm gonna hit ya right in the head.

Wait a minute.

Every condemned man has a last request to make.

What's yours?

Before you throw that last knife,

will you please take your hat off?

All right.

Thank you.

I don't want to see this.

Hey, did he get you?

- Yeah. - Where?

In the belt.

Well, come on, pull up your pants

and let's get out of here.

Okay.

So sorry about your clothes, gentlemen.

Oh, it is nothing, madam.

Your butler did the best he could.

I'm afraid the fox will be ashamed to be pursued by us.

Good hunting, Peter.

Thank you, Gloria.

If we'd had more advance notice,

I'm sure we could have arranged for a horse with a meter.

Take care of the plumbers?

Don't worry about them.

I fixed it so they got the wildest animals in the stable.

Fine.

The little fat guy's horse is a killer.

Come on, Buck.

- Giddyup here, boy. - Giddyup here, boy.

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

Come on!

Whoa! Whoa, boy, whoa!

Albert, I wonder why that groom

wanted us to ride those four-legged killers.

I don't know.

The 20 bucks certainly changed his mind.

What are you worryin' about?

It was my 20.

I know, it's...

What are you doing with the rope?

That's my lasso.

When I see the fox, I'm gonna lasso him,

and then I'll bulldoze him, and then I'll hogtie him,

and then I'm gonna brand him.

And if I like the fox real well,

I'll take him home and make a watchfox out of him.

Yoiks and away!

Yoiks, Mr. Mansfield!

Yoiks to you too!

Albert, Albert!

Oh, fox!

Hey, fox!

Take it easy, take it easy.

Here, fox!

Here, fox!

Fox!

Here, fox.

Here, fox!

Here, fox.

Here, fox.

Uh-oh, the fox.

Oh boy.

Uh-oh, another bridge.

Take it easy!

Eddie!

Hey, Eddie!

Fox!

Albert!

Where are you, Albert?

Whoa, Harry!

Whoa!

Get outta the way!

Get outta the way!

Hey, hey, come on, come on!

Outta the way!

Look out, look out!

Scatter!

Get outta the way!

Outta the way!

Hey.

Oh.

Kitten.

Remarkable.

Excuse me.

Sure.

Please, Mr. Osborne.

Ladies and gentlemen,

it is my painful duty to announce that my famous painting,

The Plunger, has been stolen.

I know none of my guests could possibly be involved,

but I must request you all to remain in this room

until the police investigate.

Mother, I don't think any investigation will be necessary.

There's several suspicious strangers among us

whom we accepted as guests

because they were Peter Evans' friends.

Those two men are a couple of plumbers,

and that girl is a taxi driver.

They're here under false pretenses.

They're the criminals.

I don't believe it.

- You're right. - Right.

But we know who the criminal is.

Mr. Drexel told us he was coming up here

to steal your painting.

If I may interrupt, madam,

Mr. Drexel is a friend of these gentlemen.

Then they're all in it together.

Pipps, call the police.

- Hey! - Hey, look!

It's Drexel and the chauffeur.

They're trying to escape.

We gotta get 'em so we can clear Elsie!

- Right! - Come on!

Stop them!

We can catch them with this firetruck.

Where's the fire?

Come on, come on, come on, come on!

Oh boy!

Follow that car.

Hey, take it easy, chief.

This is my first ride in a firetruck.

Mine too, buddy!

Whoopee!

Step on it, Marlow.

I think that fire truck's following us.

Take it easy, chief, take it easy.

Get outta the way, everybody!

Get outta the way!

Crowd 'em into the curb.

Turn around, let's head for Briarwood.

Oof.

Keep your mind on the wheel!

But I'm hungry.

He's crazy!

Get him!

Come on, get him!

Throw him over!

I took care of him.

Hey, he's over here!

Wait, no!

He's on the running board.

He bit my finger!

Bit my finger!

My, ooh...

Here's your painting, Mrs. Winthrop.

You'll never know the time I had getting it back.

The time you had?

It was me, Eddie.

Albert, you and Eddie are heroes.

I want to apologize for accusing you.

You may be plumbers, but you're wonderful plumbers.

Thank goodness my Plunger is safe.

You still are a couple of thieves.

The clothes you have been wearing belongs to us.

They've wrecked The Plunger.

Hey, the guy on the left is cheating.

He is.