Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,110 --> 00:00:04,544
Good morning, everyone.
Ron Carlson here with the news...
2
00:00:04,750 --> 00:00:06,980
brought to you
every morning by Scrub.
3
00:00:07,630 --> 00:00:10,702
- Hi, honey.
- I thought you'd left.
4
00:00:10,910 --> 00:00:12,343
Oh, why? It's early.
5
00:00:13,510 --> 00:00:15,944
I have a feeling
Mother's going to drop in.
6
00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:17,902
It's late.
7
00:00:19,070 --> 00:00:21,584
Just a minute. She promised
the next time she came...
8
00:00:21,790 --> 00:00:24,623
- she'd let me know in advance.
- And now a special announcement:
9
00:00:24,830 --> 00:00:26,980
Darrin Stephens of this city
will receive a visit...
10
00:00:27,190 --> 00:00:28,828
from his mother-in-law today.
11
00:00:30,710 --> 00:00:31,859
That's what you call...
12
00:00:32,070 --> 00:00:35,665
- letting me know in advance?
- You didn't specify how far in advance.
13
00:00:35,870 --> 00:00:38,145
This is for you, darling.
14
00:00:38,350 --> 00:00:40,500
- Who's it from?
- Ticheba.
15
00:00:40,710 --> 00:00:43,144
- Oh, my goodness.
- Tiche-who?
16
00:00:43,350 --> 00:00:45,500
Ticheba. She's...
17
00:00:45,710 --> 00:00:47,985
- Oh, my goodness.
- What does she say?
18
00:00:48,190 --> 00:00:50,499
She said...
19
00:00:50,710 --> 00:00:53,861
- Oh, my goodness.
- Stop saying that and tell me.
20
00:00:54,990 --> 00:00:56,309
She's coming for a visit.
21
00:00:56,510 --> 00:00:57,829
Oh, my goodness.
22
00:00:59,070 --> 00:01:03,143
Look, honey, if it's going to upset you,
just tell this Ticheba not to come.
23
00:01:03,350 --> 00:01:04,749
Not to come?
24
00:01:06,470 --> 00:01:08,267
That's the funniest thing
you've ever said.
25
00:01:08,870 --> 00:01:12,624
- Nobody tells Ticheba anything.
- Why not? Who is she?
26
00:01:12,830 --> 00:01:14,468
Queen of the witches
or something?
27
00:01:14,670 --> 00:01:16,581
- That is right.
- That's right.
28
00:01:16,790 --> 00:01:18,348
Ask a silly question...
29
00:01:18,550 --> 00:01:21,064
Well, sweetheart, you'll like her.
30
00:01:21,270 --> 00:01:22,544
Once you get used to her.
31
00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:26,186
She likes things her own way
and will brook no denial.
32
00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:29,427
- I suppose that's natural for a queen.
- Exactly.
33
00:01:29,630 --> 00:01:31,427
- What's your excuse?
- Darrin!
34
00:01:31,990 --> 00:01:35,699
Samantha, I will not stand here
and be insulted...
35
00:01:35,910 --> 00:01:39,346
by something
which is 94 percent water.
36
00:01:39,550 --> 00:01:41,222
- Mother!
- Oh, yeah?
37
00:01:41,430 --> 00:01:44,342
What about something
which is 100 percent hot air?
38
00:01:45,470 --> 00:01:48,860
Darrin, would you please
try and control yourself?
39
00:02:05,190 --> 00:02:06,862
You may rise.
40
00:03:16,470 --> 00:03:17,823
Very nice.
41
00:03:18,030 --> 00:03:20,703
- Very nice indeed.
- Oh, well...
42
00:03:20,910 --> 00:03:24,664
- Thank you, Your Majesty.
- Where is the main house?
43
00:03:25,710 --> 00:03:27,109
I'm afraid this is it.
44
00:03:27,310 --> 00:03:29,380
Really?
45
00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:42,107
If you don't mind,
I think I'd prefer my own chair.
46
00:03:42,310 --> 00:03:44,062
Of course not, Your Majesty.
47
00:03:48,390 --> 00:03:50,506
Now, just a minute.
48
00:03:51,430 --> 00:03:52,829
Yes?
49
00:03:53,550 --> 00:03:55,825
I forgot the question.
50
00:04:04,950 --> 00:04:09,102
- How long is she gonna be here?
- Well, I don't know, sweetheart.
51
00:04:09,310 --> 00:04:10,663
Well, it doesn't matter.
52
00:04:10,870 --> 00:04:13,304
As long as she's gone
by the time I get home.
53
00:04:13,510 --> 00:04:14,943
Well, I'm leaving.
54
00:04:15,150 --> 00:04:16,629
Splendid!
55
00:04:23,310 --> 00:04:25,221
Come here, my dear.
56
00:04:26,470 --> 00:04:30,179
My dear, I have decided to abdicate.
57
00:04:30,390 --> 00:04:34,747
And you have been chosen
to serve in my place.
58
00:04:35,910 --> 00:04:37,184
In your place?
59
00:04:37,390 --> 00:04:41,941
Tomorrow night, a universal coven
will witness your coronation.
60
00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:45,383
- What?
- Oh, my dear!
61
00:04:45,590 --> 00:04:48,502
- Mother!
- My little girl, Queen of the Witches.
62
00:04:48,710 --> 00:04:51,941
- But I can't believe it.
- Oh, my baby!
63
00:04:52,150 --> 00:04:54,459
One of the chosen few.
64
00:04:54,670 --> 00:04:58,379
Well, I'm honoured, Your Majesty,
more than words can express.
65
00:05:01,350 --> 00:05:02,703
And I can't accept it.
66
00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:05,903
I beg your pardon.
67
00:05:06,110 --> 00:05:08,908
I know what's bothering her.
It's Dumbo.
68
00:05:09,910 --> 00:05:11,138
Well, that's hardly a problem.
69
00:05:11,350 --> 00:05:14,660
I'll turn him into something suitable,
like a doormat.
70
00:05:14,870 --> 00:05:15,870
No!
71
00:05:16,070 --> 00:05:19,267
If you will show me my room,
I'd like to rest.
72
00:05:19,470 --> 00:05:21,301
Right this way, Your Majesty.
73
00:05:21,510 --> 00:05:23,626
Now, please, let me try
and explain, Your Majesty.
74
00:05:23,830 --> 00:05:27,664
You see, when I married Darrin,
I promised I wouldn't use witchcraft.
75
00:05:27,870 --> 00:05:30,509
Now, he's been very understanding
up until now...
76
00:05:30,710 --> 00:05:33,270
but he'd never understand this.
77
00:05:33,470 --> 00:05:38,066
Your Majesty, I can't be queen.
I'm married to a mortal...
78
00:05:38,270 --> 00:05:40,579
and I have a child and a house
to take care of.
79
00:05:40,790 --> 00:05:44,908
One thing you must do is find quarters
more suitable for a queen.
80
00:05:45,110 --> 00:05:48,022
Perhaps you'd like some
of your own furniture up here.
81
00:05:48,230 --> 00:05:50,186
That might help.
82
00:05:54,870 --> 00:05:57,589
There, now, that's better.
83
00:05:58,190 --> 00:06:00,146
Your Majesty, do you understand?
84
00:06:00,350 --> 00:06:02,659
It's a bit crowded, isn't it?
85
00:06:02,870 --> 00:06:04,588
You're not listening to me,
Your Majesty.
86
00:06:04,790 --> 00:06:07,429
Of course I am.
I heard every word you said.
87
00:06:07,630 --> 00:06:10,622
Your husband represents a problem,
and I have told you...
88
00:06:10,830 --> 00:06:13,219
I personally will
take care of Dumbo.
89
00:06:13,430 --> 00:06:15,022
His name is Darrin.
90
00:06:15,230 --> 00:06:19,018
Either way, you have no problem.
91
00:06:20,150 --> 00:06:23,586
- What's beyond that wall?
- The master bedroom.
92
00:06:23,790 --> 00:06:26,145
Then if you don't mind...
93
00:06:35,990 --> 00:06:38,902
Your Majesty, I refuse to be queen.
94
00:06:40,190 --> 00:06:43,341
We do our best,
but sometimes we fail.
95
00:06:43,550 --> 00:06:46,508
Samantha, come with me.
96
00:06:50,470 --> 00:06:52,700
Will you stop
making a fool of yourself?
97
00:06:52,910 --> 00:06:55,549
When you've been selected queen,
our highest honour...
98
00:06:55,750 --> 00:06:58,822
you do not have the privilege
of turning it down. You must accept.
99
00:06:59,030 --> 00:07:01,180
- But that's not fair.
- Why?
100
00:07:01,390 --> 00:07:03,540
Well, I mean, it's all right
for other witches.
101
00:07:03,750 --> 00:07:07,140
They don't have Darrin
to contend with, but I...
102
00:07:09,710 --> 00:07:12,588
Mother, Darrin's simply
going to explode.
103
00:07:12,790 --> 00:07:14,064
Good.
104
00:07:14,270 --> 00:07:17,262
It'll save us the trouble
of turning him into a doormat.
105
00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:18,903
Oh, you can joke.
106
00:07:19,110 --> 00:07:22,944
You can joke, but I've gotta tell him.
I can just hear the explosion.
107
00:07:23,350 --> 00:07:25,102
Queen?
108
00:07:25,310 --> 00:07:27,346
Of the Witches?
109
00:07:27,550 --> 00:07:29,905
What does that make me,
Prince Valiant?
110
00:07:30,110 --> 00:07:32,749
- This is no joking matter.
- You're not kidding!
111
00:07:32,950 --> 00:07:34,941
It's a great, great honour.
112
00:07:35,150 --> 00:07:36,902
And it means a lot to me...
113
00:07:37,110 --> 00:07:39,988
and even more to Mother.
I can't refuse.
114
00:07:40,190 --> 00:07:44,581
And what I think doesn't count? I'm just
a doormat around here, I suppose.
115
00:07:44,790 --> 00:07:47,179
- Not yet.
- What?
116
00:07:47,390 --> 00:07:51,178
I promise, you won't
be inconvenienced.
117
00:07:51,390 --> 00:07:53,028
I won't.
118
00:08:06,630 --> 00:08:09,428
Is this a sample
of what I can expect?
119
00:08:11,350 --> 00:08:13,306
Oh, no, no, sweetheart.
120
00:08:13,510 --> 00:08:16,547
Ticheba insisted upon
doing a little redecorating.
121
00:08:16,750 --> 00:08:20,663
I'll change it as soon as she leaves.
She feels more at home this way.
122
00:08:20,870 --> 00:08:22,906
Where does she live,
the Taj Mahal?
123
00:08:23,110 --> 00:08:26,944
Darrin, try to understand.
Being queen is something that...
124
00:08:27,150 --> 00:08:29,266
every witch mother dreams of
for her girl...
125
00:08:29,470 --> 00:08:32,268
just as every American father
dreams that someday...
126
00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:34,142
his boy will be president.
127
00:08:34,350 --> 00:08:35,465
If memory serves...
128
00:08:35,670 --> 00:08:38,503
no president has ever been a wife
and a mother, which you are.
129
00:08:38,710 --> 00:08:41,065
How will you take care of your home
and your family?
130
00:08:41,270 --> 00:08:42,783
Well, I've got that all worked out.
131
00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:46,744
Whatever business does come up,
I'll just take care of it after midnight.
132
00:08:46,950 --> 00:08:49,464
I just don't understand. Why you?
133
00:08:50,710 --> 00:08:53,827
Yeah. Why me?
134
00:08:54,030 --> 00:08:55,258
Well...
135
00:08:55,470 --> 00:08:57,506
it's sort of hard to explain.
136
00:08:58,710 --> 00:08:59,825
Try.
137
00:09:01,230 --> 00:09:04,108
Well, certain witches
are chosen at birth.
138
00:09:04,870 --> 00:09:09,102
When you've been selected,
you must serve. You have no choice.
139
00:09:09,710 --> 00:09:12,065
Then it really doesn't matter
what I think.
140
00:09:12,270 --> 00:09:14,101
Not really.
141
00:09:15,510 --> 00:09:17,546
In that case, what can I say?
142
00:09:17,750 --> 00:09:22,028
Oh, Darrin,
I knew you'd understand.
143
00:09:35,030 --> 00:09:38,545
All hail Ticheba, our queen.
144
00:09:53,270 --> 00:09:55,386
You may rise.
145
00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:10,746
This universal coven I do convene.
146
00:10:10,950 --> 00:10:14,022
Its purpose, you know,
to crown a queen...
147
00:10:14,230 --> 00:10:17,779
to rule all witchdom
from this point hence.
148
00:10:17,990 --> 00:10:19,787
If all be present...
149
00:10:19,990 --> 00:10:23,505
let the oath-taking commence.
150
00:10:50,310 --> 00:10:52,380
Samantha, gentle
151
00:10:52,590 --> 00:10:54,308
Samantha, fair
152
00:10:54,510 --> 00:10:57,547
Before your peers Assembled here
153
00:10:57,750 --> 00:10:59,741
Are you ready now to take
154
00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:02,464
The oath of office of which I spake?
155
00:11:02,670 --> 00:11:03,785
I am.
156
00:11:03,990 --> 00:11:07,221
Let the bearers of
The Book of Rites draw near
157
00:11:07,430 --> 00:11:11,389
And as I read, let all give ear
158
00:11:12,310 --> 00:11:16,269
These words I read, say after me
159
00:11:16,470 --> 00:11:20,099
And weigh each one most carefully
160
00:11:20,310 --> 00:11:24,223
I, Samantha, do solemnly swear
161
00:11:24,430 --> 00:11:28,548
In accepting the crown
To hold it dear
162
00:11:28,750 --> 00:11:31,105
I, Samantha, do solemnly swear
163
00:11:31,310 --> 00:11:33,380
In accepting the crown
To hold it dear
164
00:11:33,590 --> 00:11:37,139
To be faithful and never to forsake
165
00:11:37,350 --> 00:11:40,069
The holy office which I take
166
00:11:40,270 --> 00:11:42,500
To be faithful and never to forsake
167
00:11:42,710 --> 00:11:44,905
The holy office which I take
168
00:11:45,110 --> 00:11:48,819
To preserve, protect
And to defend
169
00:11:49,030 --> 00:11:51,942
The laws of witchdom to the end
170
00:11:52,150 --> 00:11:54,983
To preserve, protect
And to defend
171
00:11:55,190 --> 00:11:57,624
The laws of witchdom to the end
172
00:11:58,310 --> 00:12:00,426
But only after midnight, please.
173
00:12:00,630 --> 00:12:04,066
You see, I promised my husband
And he'd flip his lid
174
00:12:04,270 --> 00:12:07,023
I'm trying to rhyme
So please do as I bid
175
00:12:12,590 --> 00:12:15,548
Long live Queen Samantha.
176
00:12:15,750 --> 00:12:18,139
Long live Queen Samantha.
177
00:12:18,350 --> 00:12:21,069
Long live Queen Samantha.
178
00:12:21,270 --> 00:12:24,979
Long live Queen Samantha.
179
00:12:38,190 --> 00:12:39,782
Who's there?
180
00:12:40,790 --> 00:12:42,428
Who's there?
181
00:12:44,110 --> 00:12:46,066
I have an appointment
with Her Majesty.
182
00:12:47,830 --> 00:12:48,945
Downstairs.
183
00:12:49,150 --> 00:12:51,459
Why are you disguised as a bird?
184
00:12:51,670 --> 00:12:53,183
What disguise?
185
00:13:03,230 --> 00:13:05,460
So I've been made
a committee of one to petition...
186
00:13:05,670 --> 00:13:07,945
Your Majesty for pardon
for all of us.
187
00:13:08,150 --> 00:13:10,823
- Are there many of you?
- I'd hate to tell you how many.
188
00:13:11,030 --> 00:13:12,861
Ticheba had a pretty short fuse,
you know.
189
00:13:13,070 --> 00:13:15,709
One wrong word and bingo,
we were transformed.
190
00:13:15,910 --> 00:13:17,343
Well, I...
191
00:13:20,510 --> 00:13:22,819
Darrin, don't tell me we woke you.
192
00:13:23,030 --> 00:13:24,509
All right, I won't tell you.
193
00:13:24,710 --> 00:13:26,462
I always get up
at 3:00 in the morning.
194
00:13:26,670 --> 00:13:28,820
Forgive me for not waiting in line,
Your Majesty...
195
00:13:29,030 --> 00:13:30,907
but could you spare
a moment of your time?
196
00:13:31,110 --> 00:13:33,260
Certainly. You may withdraw.
197
00:13:43,950 --> 00:13:46,828
Look, tomorrow morning
I've got a meeting with a man...
198
00:13:47,030 --> 00:13:50,420
who is the president of one of the
largest steel companies in the country.
199
00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:54,828
Now, his advertising account is worth
over $8.5 million in billing.
200
00:13:55,030 --> 00:13:59,501
If I can swing him over to our agency,
they've got to give me a bonus.
201
00:14:00,310 --> 00:14:03,859
- Or at least make me a partner.
- Well, that's wonderful, sweetheart.
202
00:14:04,070 --> 00:14:07,619
It won't be if I fall asleep
during that meeting.
203
00:14:08,190 --> 00:14:11,785
Most of this activity is caused by
the changeover in administration.
204
00:14:11,990 --> 00:14:15,460
- It'll taper off, you'll see.
- It better taper and soon.
205
00:14:15,670 --> 00:14:18,628
I'm gonna get myself
a glass of milk.
206
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:24,538
You can tell your friends
I'll pardon them all.
207
00:14:24,750 --> 00:14:28,345
You will? Oh, thank you,
Your Majesty. Thank you.
208
00:14:28,550 --> 00:14:31,622
Tell them to assemble
here tomorrow...
209
00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:33,661
but remember, not before 12.
210
00:14:33,870 --> 00:14:35,701
Thank you.
211
00:14:39,830 --> 00:14:42,139
- Here you are, Mr. Rohrbach.
- Thank you.
212
00:14:42,350 --> 00:14:45,069
- Sweetheart?
- Thank you, honey.
213
00:14:45,270 --> 00:14:47,101
These crabmeat things
are delicious.
214
00:14:47,310 --> 00:14:49,028
Oh, well, thank you.
Thank you very much.
215
00:14:49,230 --> 00:14:50,504
I just threw them together.
216
00:14:50,710 --> 00:14:54,020
If you'll excuse me,
I have another batch in the oven.
217
00:14:56,510 --> 00:14:59,946
Well, I like what I see, Stephens.
The house, good taste...
218
00:15:00,150 --> 00:15:02,380
- without ostentation.
- Thank you, sir.
219
00:15:02,590 --> 00:15:05,024
Your wife's gonna fit into
the Rohrbach family real well.
220
00:15:05,510 --> 00:15:07,023
I'm glad you feel that way, sir.
221
00:15:07,510 --> 00:15:10,900
It'll take a week to sever relations with
the company handling our account.
222
00:15:11,110 --> 00:15:12,509
Heck, what's a week?
223
00:15:12,710 --> 00:15:15,270
Maybe two weeks
at the outside, but...
224
00:15:24,190 --> 00:15:25,862
What was that?
225
00:15:26,430 --> 00:15:28,022
Pardon?
226
00:15:28,230 --> 00:15:31,108
Didn't you just see a bird
fly through here?
227
00:15:31,990 --> 00:15:35,903
What bird? It was probably
just a bird. A shadow.
228
00:15:36,590 --> 00:15:39,582
- You need some ice?
- No, no, thanks.
229
00:15:39,790 --> 00:15:41,542
I need some ice.
230
00:15:42,030 --> 00:15:43,782
Fresh out of ice.
231
00:15:44,830 --> 00:15:49,062
But I told you,
not until after 12 midnight.
232
00:15:49,270 --> 00:15:52,307
Oh, 12 midnight.
233
00:15:53,110 --> 00:15:55,340
Sam, get that bird
out of here and fast.
234
00:15:55,550 --> 00:15:57,506
There's been a terrible
misunderstanding.
235
00:15:57,710 --> 00:15:59,826
Wait'll you see
the misunderstanding we'll have.
236
00:16:09,990 --> 00:16:13,699
I'll find out what's taking so long.
237
00:16:39,190 --> 00:16:40,908
Leave before you end up
in a fricassee.
238
00:16:41,110 --> 00:16:43,544
- Right.
- What's going on?
239
00:16:43,750 --> 00:16:46,662
I told you to wait outside, didn't I?
240
00:16:48,390 --> 00:16:49,664
Sam, do something.
241
00:16:49,870 --> 00:16:52,862
You should've seen Rohrbach's face
when that bird flew in.
242
00:16:53,070 --> 00:16:55,300
And I'll bet when he saw the chair...
243
00:16:55,710 --> 00:16:59,100
Saw the chair? Holy mackerel!
244
00:17:11,350 --> 00:17:13,580
How are you doing, sir?
245
00:17:13,790 --> 00:17:15,269
A chair...
246
00:17:15,470 --> 00:17:20,783
just came in that door
and walked right through this hall.
247
00:17:21,630 --> 00:17:23,860
Mr. Rohrbach, have you been:
248
00:17:24,790 --> 00:17:26,143
I only had one.
249
00:17:26,350 --> 00:17:28,659
And I know what I saw.
250
00:17:28,870 --> 00:17:30,019
Think what you're saying.
251
00:17:30,230 --> 00:17:32,903
A chair came through that door
and walked through this hall?
252
00:17:33,110 --> 00:17:36,989
Well, a chair can't walk
any more than...
253
00:17:41,830 --> 00:17:43,900
a lamp can.
254
00:17:44,110 --> 00:17:46,465
What kind of a place is this?
255
00:17:46,670 --> 00:17:48,342
What are you referring to, sir?
256
00:17:48,790 --> 00:17:51,509
I don't know what's going on,
but I don't want any part of it.
257
00:17:51,710 --> 00:17:55,498
And I don't want any part of anybody
that's got any part of it.
258
00:17:59,990 --> 00:18:02,458
Before you leave, sir,
what about your account?
259
00:18:02,670 --> 00:18:04,865
What account?
260
00:18:15,030 --> 00:18:19,626
All right, everybody off the fat guy,
and clear out till midnight.
261
00:18:25,430 --> 00:18:27,546
Oh, Darrin, I'm sorry.
262
00:18:28,630 --> 00:18:31,269
- Sam, I want you to abdicate.
- What?
263
00:18:31,470 --> 00:18:32,585
I want you to quit!
264
00:18:33,230 --> 00:18:35,619
But I can't.
I just took the oath of office.
265
00:18:36,110 --> 00:18:39,147
Okay, you said you couldn't refuse
the crown. Okay!
266
00:18:39,350 --> 00:18:42,979
So you accepted it. You've been
queen for a day. That's enough!
267
00:18:43,190 --> 00:18:45,385
- No, it isn't.
- I say it is.
268
00:18:46,150 --> 00:18:48,380
I have to serve for at least a year.
269
00:18:49,350 --> 00:18:50,942
You didn't tell me that.
270
00:18:51,990 --> 00:18:53,105
I didn't?
271
00:18:55,750 --> 00:18:57,706
Well, I...
272
00:18:58,430 --> 00:19:00,466
Well, I guess you didn't ask.
273
00:19:00,990 --> 00:19:03,663
Oh, now, Darrin,
please be reasonable.
274
00:19:03,870 --> 00:19:05,383
A year isn't very long.
275
00:19:05,590 --> 00:19:07,945
You'll see how quickly it'll pass.
Then I'll quit.
276
00:19:08,150 --> 00:19:10,869
In that case, call me in about a year.
277
00:19:11,070 --> 00:19:12,788
- I'll be at Joe's.
- Joe's?
278
00:19:12,990 --> 00:19:15,140
Joe's Bar and Grill.
279
00:19:19,310 --> 00:19:21,870
I tell you, a man can take
just so much.
280
00:19:22,070 --> 00:19:25,745
- Then he has got to walk.
- You're so right.
281
00:19:26,230 --> 00:19:28,107
"It's just for a year," she says.
282
00:19:28,310 --> 00:19:30,983
"Okay," I say.
"Call me in about a year.
283
00:19:31,190 --> 00:19:33,226
I'll be at Joe's Bar and Grill."
284
00:19:33,430 --> 00:19:34,988
I know how you feel.
285
00:19:35,190 --> 00:19:37,385
I got a problem with my wife too.
286
00:19:37,590 --> 00:19:38,909
Her mother.
287
00:19:39,110 --> 00:19:43,308
With all due respect, friend,
your problem can't be as bad as mine.
288
00:19:43,510 --> 00:19:46,741
- My wife is Queen of the Witches.
- She can't be.
289
00:19:46,950 --> 00:19:49,748
My mother-in-law's got that job.
290
00:19:57,870 --> 00:20:01,624
Samantha, it's almost midnight,
and the transformees will be arriving.
291
00:20:01,830 --> 00:20:03,946
You should be getting
into your robes.
292
00:20:04,150 --> 00:20:07,301
- I thought I heard a car.
- If he comes back, he comes back.
293
00:20:07,510 --> 00:20:10,820
If he doesn't,
we'll open a bottle of champagne.
294
00:20:13,270 --> 00:20:16,068
Well, I thought that was rather
a good idea.
295
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:20,428
Well, I'm just not going
to stand for it in my house.
296
00:20:20,630 --> 00:20:22,780
If I have to,
I won't go home for a year.
297
00:20:22,990 --> 00:20:25,060
It's just about a year
since I've been home.
298
00:20:25,270 --> 00:20:27,465
I mean it, I...
299
00:20:28,670 --> 00:20:30,388
- It is?
- I never should've told...
300
00:20:30,590 --> 00:20:33,866
my mother-in-law
to get out of the house.
301
00:20:34,070 --> 00:20:36,061
She owns it.
302
00:20:36,510 --> 00:20:38,978
You haven't seen your family
in all that time?
303
00:20:39,830 --> 00:20:42,549
I went back once.
304
00:20:42,750 --> 00:20:44,627
About six months ago.
305
00:20:45,510 --> 00:20:48,263
My kid didn't recognize me.
306
00:20:48,790 --> 00:20:53,580
And the dog bit me.
And he's my dog!
307
00:20:55,510 --> 00:20:58,024
Comes in every night
and cries like that.
308
00:20:59,510 --> 00:21:02,024
You know, pal, this job gives me
a chance to see...
309
00:21:02,230 --> 00:21:04,107
some pretty good observations.
310
00:21:04,310 --> 00:21:08,383
Now, he thinks his mother-in-law's
a holy terror...
311
00:21:08,590 --> 00:21:10,979
and you think your wife's
Queen of the Witches.
312
00:21:11,630 --> 00:21:14,019
But if the truth be it known...
313
00:21:14,230 --> 00:21:17,222
they all got their good points.
Right, pal?
314
00:21:19,030 --> 00:21:21,180
They sure do, pal.
315
00:21:22,230 --> 00:21:24,027
They sure do.
316
00:21:39,870 --> 00:21:41,019
Hi.
317
00:21:41,230 --> 00:21:42,743
Say...
318
00:21:43,270 --> 00:21:46,819
You missed all the excitement.
She was sensational.
319
00:21:47,030 --> 00:21:48,986
The incantation was beautiful.
320
00:21:49,190 --> 00:21:52,387
And, you know, she actually produced
a little fire and brimstone.
321
00:21:52,910 --> 00:21:55,378
Haven't seen that in ages.
322
00:21:56,230 --> 00:22:00,064
And then she touched each one of us
with her sceptre and presto...
323
00:22:00,270 --> 00:22:02,943
we were all back
to our original form.
324
00:22:03,150 --> 00:22:04,344
Is that better?
325
00:22:04,550 --> 00:22:07,940
You know, I'm gonna miss
being a bird.
326
00:22:19,310 --> 00:22:21,221
Samantha, bad news.
327
00:22:21,430 --> 00:22:22,579
He's back.
328
00:22:22,790 --> 00:22:25,668
Better hurry, Endora.
You'll be late for the monster rally.
329
00:22:27,430 --> 00:22:28,943
Darrin.
330
00:22:32,990 --> 00:22:36,346
Mother, don't you have
some place to fly?
331
00:22:38,550 --> 00:22:40,142
Sweetheart...
332
00:22:40,350 --> 00:22:43,581
now, don't you know that you're more
important to me than any old crown?
333
00:22:43,950 --> 00:22:46,180
Now, I don't know
what's gonna happen if I resign.
334
00:22:46,390 --> 00:22:48,267
No one's ever done it.
335
00:22:48,470 --> 00:22:51,428
- But I'm going to.
- Honey...
336
00:22:52,390 --> 00:22:54,585
I've been doing some thinking too.
337
00:22:54,790 --> 00:22:56,428
And I don't wanna
come home and find...
338
00:22:56,630 --> 00:22:59,224
that my child doesn't know me
and have the dog bite me.
339
00:22:59,430 --> 00:23:00,658
What dog?
340
00:23:01,630 --> 00:23:03,302
That's right, we don't have one.
341
00:23:03,510 --> 00:23:06,263
Anyway, the thing I realized is that...
342
00:23:06,470 --> 00:23:09,223
your being queen
is part of what you are.
343
00:23:09,430 --> 00:23:12,342
And if I love you enough,
I have to accept that.
344
00:23:12,550 --> 00:23:15,667
Just the way you accept
certain things about my world.
345
00:23:16,110 --> 00:23:17,907
So...
346
00:23:19,750 --> 00:23:22,822
I'm at your disposal, Your Majesty.
347
00:23:23,030 --> 00:23:24,543
Rise, silly goose.
348
00:23:27,030 --> 00:23:30,261
Oh, Darrin! Darrin, I'm terribly sorry.
349
00:23:34,470 --> 00:23:38,349
Oh, it was a terrible mistake.
Darrin? Come back here.
350
00:23:38,550 --> 00:23:40,268
Darrin. Darrin.
351
00:23:40,470 --> 00:23:42,062
Oh, please. Darrin.
352
00:23:42,270 --> 00:23:45,307
Please, if you'd just stand still,
then I could change you back.
353
00:23:45,510 --> 00:23:48,343
Sweetheart. Sweetheart.
Come on, come on.
354
00:23:48,550 --> 00:23:50,666
Oh, please. Darrin, please.
27104
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof