Original subtitles

[intro music playing]

♪ It's Zeroman ♪

♪ It's Zeroman ♪

♪ It's Zeroman ♪

♪ It's Zeroman ♪

♪ Save Fair City ♪

[music finishes]

[dramatic music]

[tires screeching]

Oh, for [horn honks] sake Leslie,

get your [horn honks] over here,

and don't forget my suitcase.

Coming, Mother.

[grunts]

Oh great.

You've already made me late for my bus.

All right, well,

looks like you're all set to go away from me.

Don't worry about me, I'll be fine.

Mother, please don't leave me!

Whose meals will I make?

Whose laundry will I do?

I'll only be gone for the weekend!

Yes, but it's a long weekend.

Not long enough.

Leslie B. Mutton, get up and stop being such a baby!

You're 64 years old.

Not for three more weeks!

Whatever, try living for once and loosen up,

especially on my leg!

Here, have a sucker.

[car speeding away]

One, two, three,

[static sounds]

[glum music playing]

Les, hey, Les!

Mother, is that you?

Do I sound like a 90 year old woman?

It's Ty, get your butt down here!

[Robotic Voice] Genetic bum print accepted,

engaging poop-chute.

All right Gary, it's time for your nap.

The adults have some real work to do.

Work, what kind of work?

Has something happened?

Should I start limbering up?

Yes, out with it, Ty.

Is there an emergency,

or is this just another practice drill?

Neither, but if there was an emergency,

we'd be in trouble.

Look at you, you're a mess.

I just can't believe she's gone.

You know what you need Z-man?

A day off!

Don't worry about a thing,

because O-Boy will cover for you.

I'll just need your suit there, and,

Forget it, Gary!

The mayor specifically asked for Zeroman,

not his sidekick, Captain Failure.

Now, go on.

Maybe it'll help you to get your mind off things.

Yes, Mother, I mean Ty.

Out, out, and away.

And before I knew it, she was gone,

out of my life for the whole weekend!

In addition to the regular attractions,

this year the magna-con world exhibition traveling road show

plays host to the world's most powerful super magnet:

The big mag!

[yells]

I'm determined to get on with my life.

Bruce says you can't teach a new dog old tricks.

And as I am sure you know, Zeroman,

a magnet of this magnitude,

could attract some unwanted attention.

It would be disastrous if it fell into the wrong hands.

In addition to your zero-abilities,

we've hired a security guard who's so good,

it's like he has eyes in the back of his head!

I saw that!

Thank you for traveling with us,

and I hope you enjoy the R&R weekend bus tour.

Woo-hoo, I'm sure I will!

After you.

[snoring]

Now, if you could all just take your seats,

we'll be off for your rest and relaxation weekend.

A seniors' weekend?

No!

I am particularly proud of this year's improvements

to the concession stands.

We managed to outsize our supersize lattes

to the super duper supersize!

Yeah, it sounds super, Todd.

[screaming]

I'm sure all these improvements will go a long way

to impressing the world's most dynamic magnet magnate.

Chick Magnet, really?

Chick Magnet is coming here to Fair City?

[cell phone ringing]

Hello?

[Man On Pone] Les Mutton?

Yes, this is Les, who's calling?

[Man On Pone] Alpha Beta, VHS!

Chick, Chick Magnet, how's my old college brother?

How do you think?

I'm a successful magnet magnate, Les.

That means I'm rich and attractive.

[laughing]

Same old Chick.

Say, do you remember the time we snuck into the,

Les, the reason I called is that I'm blowing through town

for the big convention and I figured I'd cut you a break

and let you show me a good time!

Just like the old days.

What do you say?

Golly, there's nothing I'd like more Chick,

but Mother's out of town

and I'm not supposed to have friends over.

Since the old hen has flown the coup,

what better time for Chick to fly home and rule the roost?

Well, parties are in strict violation

of the house rules and,

You need to loosen up.

Don't think of it as breaking the rules.

Think of it as making your mark, being your own man.

What do you say brother?

I say Alpha Beta VHS,

party at my place for Chick and Les.

I'll see you tonight, brother!

Not if I see you first.

Same old Chick.

Same old Les.

Yeah, I remember the time we snuck into the science lab.

How could I forget it?

It was the day you changed my life forever.

[Les] Oh gee, Chick, I don't know about this,

sneaking around after hours is in strict violation

of campus rules.

You want to make it into the frat, don't you brother?

Alpha Beta VH-yes!

[scary organ music and grunting]

Are you here for the extra credit?

[screaming]

Chick, you better get in here.

I don't know which one you want.

Phew, that was a close one, Chick.

Maybe we should go back.

Aha, so that's why I'm in the dark.

Let there be light.

[zapping]

[Chick screaming]

Did you say something, Chick?

[zapping and screaming]

I could have sworn you said something.

[evil laughing]

Les will provide me with a perfect alibi,

after I get my hands on you.

Alpha Beta VHS, brothers first, then screw the rest!

[evil laughing]

[splashing]

What are you doing?

A pinata?

I'm sorry, Ty.

My iris is a little rusty.

What is this, a party for five year old kids?

Well, it just so happens that this is a party

for Chick Magnet.

I don't think you should be throwing a party

for a jerk like Chick Magnet.

The guy's a user, Les.

He's not your friend.

Oh yeah, well you're just jealous,

jealous and stupid, you stupid head.

Aren't you supposed

to be guarding the big mag tonight, as Zeroman?

The big mag is being well taken care of.

I have my top man on it.

No, you can't be serious!

Can I help you?

Event secure, officially sanctioned by Zeroman himself.

Stand back and watch how the professional secures the area.

Activating lasers now!

[zapping]

What are you looking at?

I hope Chick likes his punch strong.

I want this party to be as wild and crazy

as the parties Chick used to throw back in college days.

Hand me those loot bags, will you?

Trust me, Les, if you want this party to be a hit,

you really need to think about juicing it up a bit.

You may be right Ty, and a special appearance by Zeroman,

I'm sure will wow my buddy Chick.

And this is my grandson,

enjoying his first corn on the cob.

That's it, I can't take it anymore!

Is this what you people think is fun?

This bus isn't taking us to our graves, you know.

You'd think that with what little time you have left,

you'd wanna live a little, have some fun!

These are our golden years, people.

Society may force us to sit, but we need to make a stand!

Get up on our feet and let the world know,

that we're as old as hell,

and we're not gonna take it anymore!

[shouts of agreement]

[Bus Driver] Please remain in your seats!

[Les] Some party, aye Sally?

Yeah, some party.

Check it out, Mother never allows me

to have the music higher than four.

I hope no one calls the authorities.

[Les laughing]

It's great to see you loosening up, Les,

but with your mother away, don't you find being all alone

in a big, lonely house a bit, lonely?

Well, I am an only child,

which means I've gotten pretty good at playing with myself.

[record scratches]

[car speeding]

Chick's here, Chick's here!

Hi, Chick, hi!

[upbeat music playing]

Hi Chick!

Same old ignorant Les.

Same old Chick, we've got a lot of catching up to do.

It's how much I make a week.

But listen to me babbling on about myself,

why don't you babble on about me for a while?

Excuse me, Chick, I need to talk to Sally for a moment.

Phew, thanks Les.

No need to thank me.

Isn't he great?

He's the coolest guy I know!

Have you seen his van?

How'd you like the nickel tour?

I say she's sold, Chick.

Show it to her good!

Okay, maybe I will take the tour.

I've never seen Chick so happy!

Just think how happy he's gonna be to meet Zeroman!

All right, let's do some more sugar, baby!

[cheering]

I said sit down!

I mean it now, don't make me turn this bus around!

I know what you must be thinking, Sally.

You're thinking, why would someone as fabulous

as me want to show the inside of my luxurious van

to someone as ordinary as you.

But if magnets have taught me anything,

it's that opposites attract.

Yeah, that's really profound, Chick,

but I should be getting back to Les.

Les and you, you and Les?

Oh, yes!

Me and Les, Les and me.

We've been close, close friends for a long, long, long time.

I'll just let myself out.

[zapping]

What are you doing, are you crazy?

[evil laughing]

You and my mother were right Ty, I need to loosen up.

Chick is having a great time and the party is going well.

And guess what, your tofu dip is a big hit!

And Chick took Sally to his van.

Maybe they're just talking

or looking at his van, because it's a pretty cool van.

And I wish I could see what it looks like inside.

[slapping sound]

Settle down, Zero, and no more punch!

You know what sugar does to you.

Sorry Ty, can't stay and chat.

Zeroman has got to go up to the party

and see what's going on,

cause Chick is dying for him to show up,

and he's still in the van, so I should go check on him,

because maybe he's thirsty or hungry or something.

I'll see you later!

[van creaking]

You're wasting your time, Uberchick.

You can't pull away from the chick magnet.

I mean it, Chick, this is way out of line.

Just what do you intend to do with me?

Don't flatter yourself.

I only need you and Les to act as my alibi for the evening.

After I steal the big mag, I'll be invincible.

You really are crazy.

What do you think Les is going to say

when I tell him all this?

It's going to be hard for you to tell your side

of the story, once you're gone.

[tense music plays]

[van creaking]

[crowd cheering]

Zero, how can you just sit here doing party tricks

while Sally is in there with Chick?

Doesn't it bother you?

Why should my best girl and my best friend getting

to know each other better bother me?

Chick always told me, when the van's rocking,

don't come knocking.

I assume that's because of its instability

and because Chick didn't want me to be in harm's way.

Good old Chick.

[cheering]

[zapping]

The big mag, you look good enough to eat.

Two all copper coils, special poles, lead conductors,

and Ferris coolant on an electromagnetic base.

Stop right there!

Step away from the big mag and turn around slowly.

Zeroman, Gary's in trouble!

I just received an emergency signal

from the convention center.

Say no more, Ty.

You're in charge of the party now.

Out, out, and away!

Don't forget to refill the tofu dip!

[Jaundice] Yellows again deary, take it off!

[cheering]

Okay, that's it, trip's over!

I'm turning this bus around!

[grunting]

[tires squealing]

[zapping]

[grunting]

Hey, Zeroman, what took you so long?

Gary, this is not the time to be hanging around.

I just got a call that there's trouble here.

Now what's the situation, who needs my help?

Duh, me!

Yes, hi Gary, we already went through that.

Now, what seems to be the problem?

[Gary sighs]

[Chick] I'm loving this!

Be cautious, Z-man.

I'm detecting a severe electrical disturbance.

Don't do anything until we figure out

what this guy is up to.

What seems to be the trouble citizen,

burn chills, power surge, faulty wiring?

Did the breakers trip?

But hey, don't listen to me, Ty's never right.

I can feel it filling me with power!

[evil laughing]

Chick Magnet!

Well, well, well, if it isn't Zeroman.

Well, if it isn't Chick Magnet,

the well known magnet magnate whom I'm meeting

for the first time ever.

The first time and also the last!

Farewell Zeroman.

Okay, nice to see you're packing things up.

Let me know if you need a cab and if you need directions,

I could sketch a map or,

[tense music]

Glad we could finally hang out Zeroman.

This is no time for levity, Gary.

My zero-abilities are useless

against these pesky horseshoes

Zeroman, come in, Zeroman!

Ty, I can't come in right now.

I'm still out here dealing

with some kind of diabolical horseshoe trap.

Why, are we out of the tofu dip?

They're not horseshoes, Zeroman.

They're high powered super magnets.

I've just done a quick search on the net,

and if you heat those magnets, they'll lose their power.

Zer-ific, then all I need is to find some source of heat,

something extremely hot and scalding of temperature

to break free of these mighty magnets.

Gary, any ideas?

[sipping coffee]

That's it, nice work, Gary!

Pass me that rotisserie hot dog,

and I'll use it to heat up the magnets.

[Ty] Or you could use the hot latte

that Gary has in his other hand.

Right, smart thinking, Ty.

Throw it on me!

[yelling]

[Ty] No, throw the liquid on the magnets!

[dripping]

[zapping]

Poop, the magnetism is jamming my signal!

Play time's over Check.

I didn't want it to come to this,

but I'm afraid you'll have to put that magnet down.

The gift shop is a great selection

of reasonably priced souvenirs,

if that's what you're after.

Actually I have a better idea, Zeroman.

Join me, together we can end this destructive conflict

and rule the world as brothers, as one.

I'll never join you, Chick.

Even though Mother thought you were a good influence

on me in college.

You have a mother?

Your idiocy betrays you Zeroman.

Yes, a mother who is away for the weekend.

She's gone away for the long weekend.

I mean, I don't know what you're talking about.

Oh well, then I must have you confused with someone else.

[zapping]

No, my glasses!

Aha!

[clanking]

It's too bad, really, we could have been brothers.

I don't want to fight you, Chick.

I know there's some good in you, somewhere.

[evil laughing]

Same old Les.

Naive, easy to crush, Les!

[zapping]

Now you will feel the power

of the world's most powerful magnet magnate!

[evil laughing]

[yelling]

Super duper, super size, double, double the go.

Nice work, Z-man!

The heat from that latte de-magnetized

that magnetic meddler.

He's melted!

Farewell, my friend.

I will avenge your death.

[Ty] Zeroman, come in Zeroman!

It's an emergency!

This is about Jaundice, and she's on her way home right now!

Brother, oh no, the party!

Wait for me!

[mustard squirting]

Gotta beat Mommy home, gotta beat Mother.

[spy music playing]

Zeroman, pleasure to meet you.

The burgers need at least another minute.

[car squealing]

Smells great!

Call for takeout, trust me!

[upbeat music]

Phew, I beat her.

Now to clear this place out.

All right, people, the party's over.

Let's call it a night.

The hell you will, nobody move!

[cheering]

Oh, Zeroman, it's you!

It's so nice to have you in my home again.

Can get you anything, a cold drink,

a warm snack, anything!

[slapping]

Stop that, you're using that panel improperly.

[Uberchick] Is anybody out there?

Les, Zeroman, anybody!

[upbeat music]

♪ Zeroman, here comes Zeroman, ♪

♪ Zeroman, hell town has started, ♪

♪ Looking for a hero man, ♪

♪ Five, four, three, two, one, ♪

♪ Here comes Zeroman! ♪

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