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[alarms blaring]
♪ It's Zeroman ♪
♪ Ba-da ba-da ♪
♪ It's Zeroman ♪
♪ Ba-da ba-da ♪
♪ It's Zeroman ♪
♪ Ba-da ba-da ♪
♪ Its Zeroman ♪
♪ Ba-da ba-da ♪
♪ Save Fair City ♪
♪ Ba-da ba-da ♪
[snappy tune]
We meet again,
Agent Mutton.
You have any last words?
Forgive me if I don't feel like talking, butter nick.
As you can see, I'm a little...
Hung-over.
But I don't expect you to talk.
I expect you to fly!
[evil laughter]
This goes against everything we seek
in an agents stand for Barron.
But if you don't mind,
I'd rather not die with my boots on.
[boots splash in lava]
[ropes sizzle]
Ahh!
Oh for God's sake.
[whirring noise]
[whooshing noise]
[glasses clank against metal]
[whooshing noise]
[beating sound]
Stop him!
Stop him now!
[beating sound]
[action theme]
Huzzuh!
Take that.
[bones crack]
I love seeing my dear old dad the main in action.
When did you get this?
It's some old agency training footage I saved.
They gave this to study and learn from the best.
Then your dad was the best.
Oh, he sure was.
Take that!
Man, what a beat!
[Ty] This part is something I threw together from
some old home movies of yours.
I...
I hope you don't mind.
Mind?
Why would I mind?
It's, it's...
[sniffles]
Beautifully edited.
[sobs]
Hey, now.
Come on.
You're supposed to be the Man of Zeal.
You stop crying out loud for crying out loud.
Now blow.
[blows nose]
You're right, Ty.
I just have to accept the fact that my daddy is gone,
and that I'll never have a son of my own
to carry on the Mutton name.
I think you and I both know
that the son of Zeroman
isn't going to just pop in out of nowhere.
[alarms blare]
Oh, perfect.
Right on cue.
[sizzles]
Woohoo! Yeah, boy!
From downtown to down here in 3.5 seconds flat.
I usually get sick on rides,
but I never get sick, or tired, of that one.
Just like we never grow sick and tired
of your constant pop-ins, Gary.
To what do we owe this unannounced visit?
Since when do I need a reason
to check in on my favorite investment?
[phone beeps]
Connie, pull my calls.
And move my 10, 11, and 12 o'clock
to one, two and three o'clock.
Okay team, what's our status?
What's the situation?
What are we up against?
What have I missed?
Bring me up to speed.
Who are those guys on street?
And how come Zeroman is crying?
I need answers!
Team details!
Get me details!
There are no details.
Nothing's happening.
Those are old home movies of Les and his dad,
and he's sad because he's not a dad.
And get out of my chair!
[chair squeaks]
Really, Zeroman?
Is this true?
Well, technically it's your chair,
Gary, since you've paid for everything.
But, Ty doesn't have to like it.
No, I mean about being sad.
Sad about what?
Sad about seeing my dad glad to have me as a lad,
and the time we had,
or, me sad about me not being a dad,
who's glad to have a lad
and a dad-lad relationship
like me and my dad had?
Not bad.
[Gary] The second part.
Because with me not having a dad,
and you are not having a lad,
I always thought that you and I had a,
you know,
me and you were kind of...
Lonely and desperate.
No.
Doomed to die alone.
No.
Well clearly I'm not catching your cryptic drift here,
Gary, but I can tell you this.
If I had only one wish,
it would be to feel the bond that can only be felt
between a father and a son.
Me too.
And since we're looking for the same thing,
maybe you and I could be more like--
Great flaming holes!
Hold that thought, Gary.
It's a call to zero action.
Really?
Oh boy.
Let me just get my sidekick suit,
and we can talk on the way.
I got a new gadget I wanna try out.
No way!
No new gadgets.
You're still only a sidekick in training.
Ty's right.
There's no time to lose.
[flatulent noise]
Zeroman to Ty.
Do you read me?
Over.
Ty here.
I read you, Zeroman.
The holy shoot skydiving company reports
that a father and son group of skydivers
are falling to their death!
It's no use!
The main chutes won't open!
Try the reserve chutes!
[zipping sound]
We gonna die!
Why! Why!
Maybe God needs more fathers and sons in heaven!
No he doesn't!
Shut up! Shut up!
I reached the coordinates
but there's no sign of them, Ty.
Just hold your position.
You should be getting a visual
right about...
[skydivers shrieking]
Now.
Right as always, Ty.
Hey, wait up gang.
It's Zeroman here,
ever near.
Whee!
[skydivers shriek]
Say there, citizens.
What's the cause of this outing gone wrong?
Improper chute backing?
Oh,
I've read articles about this.
Zeroman,
this doesn't look good.
My readouts have you falling
in a ridiculous rate of speed.
Fly to safety!
I'm trying, but they're uncommonly strong.
10 Seconds to impact.
I think I can wiggle my fingers,
enough to unleash the supersuits
and I grabbity the gravity belt.
[belt clicks]
[clothing flaps against wind]
Okay.
That was just my belt.
Now this really doesn't look good.
Oh, I can't look!
Can this be end of Zeroman? [sobs]
And back to the morph room for plucky O-boy.
[skydivers shriek]
[anticlimactic chime]
They made it.
I'm saved!
I mean...
They're saved!
[nervous chuckle]
Golly gee, thanks a bunch Zeroman!
I'm Sonny.
Now don't thank me, Sonny.
Thank my super shorts and their alien elasticity.
Thank you, super shorts!
[Zeroman laughs boisterously]
Better run along son,
your father needs you.
Oh, none of those are my dad.
The orphanage arranged for me to join this group
so I can see what having a real father is like.
I never thought I'd ever get to meet my real father,
until today!
I thought you said none of these
flying fathers were your dad?
They're not, Zeroman.
Because my real father...
Is you!
[bus door creaks shut]
[rising tune]
And just like that,
he was gone.
The van took off before I even had a chance to
find out who he was!
Or if he truly is my son.
Oh well.
Easy come, easy go.
It's best we just forget about him
and move on with our lives.
Can we get 'em off there?
It's upsetting Zeroman.
[types on keyboard]
[computer beeps]
Oh, that's better.
Oh, on the contrary, Gary.
I'm thrilled over the idea
that I have an honest to goodness
real live outside child out there.
A fair haired foundling.
Just waiting to be found.
[taps keyboard]
[computer buzzes]
[Gary cries out in shock]
Okay, look.
I'll admit.
There is a resemblance between you two,
and I know how badly you wish
you had someone to carry on the Mutton name,
but it's kind of impossible
for Sonny to be your son,
Zeroman.
My guess is that Sonny is lying.
Probably one of those desperate fanboy types
who would say and do anything
just to muscle his way into Zeroman's life.
Yeah, we know the type.
Nevertheless.
Even us bachelors can get paid a visit
by Mr. Stork.
Who knows?
Maybe wishes really do come true.
[flatulent noise]
Hey, what does he mean by that?
Where's he going?
Where do you think?
To get to know Sonny.
Where are you going?
Where do you think?
To stick my nose in where it doesn't belong.
Oh man.
You should have seen his face when I told him.
I thought he was gonna fill his super shorts right there.
Wahaha!
I'll tell ya,
he's a good chameleon kid.
He's got Zeroman's look down to a T.
Thank you, Don, Ron.
But what did you expect from a cosmetic actor such as I?
Rusty Woodenwater!
Sonny and I have a date with dear old dad.
Wahaha!
[upbeat music plays]
[heavy crash]
[upbeat music plays]
Wahaha!
Hahaha!
[upbeat music plays]
[camera shutters]
[photo booth shutters]
[upbeat music plays]
[camera shutters]
[upbeat music]
[flatulent noise]
[Announcer] Play ball!
Yes, sir.
There's no better way to cap a perfect father and son day
than to take in a ball game.
I'm so glad that we finally found each other, Sonny.
Boy, you said it dad.
[Sonny and Zeroman laugh joyously]
[whooshing noise]
All right, that's enough!
All your laughing and hugging
and father and son bonding.
When's the last time you took me to a ball game,
Huh?
Why would I do that, Gary?
You own the team.
You can go anytime you want.
That's not the point!
The point is he's playing you for a chump.
I've had my people check,
and nobody has ever heard of Sonny.
There's not one physical shred of evidence
that proves this kid is who he says he is!
In actual fact there is,
isn't there, Daddy?
There sure is.
Sonny and I discovered that we share
the exact same rare birth defect.
We have two left feet.
See.
Proof positive that Sonny is the son
I thought I'd never have.
I'm going to groom him with a lifetime
of side by side kid zeroing,
in order that one fine day,
I might pass the title and the suit of Zeroman
on to him.
Isn't that great, Gary?
[Gary cries out in frustration]
This isn't fair!
I'm being groomed to Zeroman's ward,
not you!
Gary!
Sonny!
Boys!
Stop this at once.
Bite me.
Security! Security!
This isn't over, Sonny!
You haven't seen the last of Gary Glengarry!
[Sonny] In your face, second place.
I'm the new number one son in town now!
Waha!
Daddy! [sobs]
I have to go to the bathroom.
You really got'em eating outta your hand, kid.
He really does have that fatherly love look in his eye.
Well, not having a father of my own,
I wouldn't know.
But I have to say,
it does feel like he really cares about me...
[Announcer] Calling for the seventh inning stretch.
I tell you, Ty, my fondest wishes come true.
Les Mutton has a son.
[cracks bones]
[flatulent noise]
Zeroman,
what proof do we have that Sonny is really your son?
just don't do anything hasty until we know for sure,
okay?
Wishes hardly ever come true.
Loud and clear, Ty.
Gotta go now.
Bye-bye.
[Announcer] Please, direct your attention to section O,
row zero,
seats zero and one.
Those are our seats,
and that's us up there!
What's going on?
Did I do something wrong?
Oh no, Sonny.
Its not that at all,
you've been perfect.
So perfect that I have something very important to ask you.
I'd consider myself the luckiest Zeroman in the world,
If you, Sonny,
would consent to be my boy.
What?
What! Did I just say?
Are you crazy?
Have you taken one too many foul balls up the head?
Just one.
So what do you say Sonny?
Would you be my little zero boy?
[crowd gasps]
Yes.
Yes, of course I will.
I mean I do!
I mean...
Oh I love you, Zeroman!
[crowd cheers]
One more thing, Sonny.
It's just a formality, but...
like my father before me and his father before that,
I would consider it an honor to pass on to you,
my family name.
[smack sound]
Your secret identity is...
the mailman?
There can be no secrets between a father and son.
Put 'er there,
Sonny Mutton.
I...
I can't believe you told me that.
I guess I must be pretty important to you, huh?
You're more important to me than anything.
More important than even my life as Zeroman.
Don't you know that, son?
I have to go the bathroom.
[whoosh sound]
The plan is off!
I'm renouncing my life of crime, and...
dedicating my life to my new life!
As the son of Zeroman, the dad I never had.
[rhythmic music]
Ty to Zeroman.
Come in Zeroman.
Zeroman here, Ty.
Or should I say Zerodad?
Haha. Over.
You told them your secret identity--
Are you crazy?
Just what do you think you're doing?
Actually,
we're on the way to the law officers
to give Sonny boy my name.
Over and out.
What?
No, wait!
Zeroman!
Oh great, just perfect.
It's over for me.
From number one son to second class citizen in one day.
Gee,
can this really be the end of plucky O-boy?
Watch it, Alice.
Because if I go down,
all this is going down too.
The bucks stop here.
Unless you can stop this somehow.
Prove that Sonny is playing Zeroman for a chump.
To do that, I need hard evidence.
His fingerprints.
A retina scan.
A Sonny spit sample.
Heck, even a few teeth marks...
would do.
[snapping noise]
Where did you get these?
From him.
I told him to bite me.
So he bit me!
The little jerk.
Why?
Is this good?
Oh, this is good.
This is very, very good.
Okay.
If we can cross match this bite mark
with our database of known criminal bite marks,
it just might give us Sonny's real identity.
[machine whirs]
[computer chimes]
Congratulations, my one and only son.
It's official, I now pronounce you the son of Zeroman.
Yee!
[shots fire out]
[Zeroman grunts]
[electricity buzzes]
[Zeroman groans]
[electricity buzzes]
Father!
No!
[computer chimes]
Oh boy.
It's worse than we thought.
Oh boy is right.
Judging by this,
this looks like a job for O-boy!
Oh boy.
Sonny boy.
Save yourself, it's too late for me.
These anti-static sheets reek havoc on my suit.
Stay in school.
Urgh...
Eat your vegetables.
Don't take rides from strangers.
Always take the first pitch.
[Zeroman cries out in pain]
No!
Hello!
Are you like deaf?
What have you done?
The plan was off!
I was happy, don't you see?
Happy is the son of he.
We done it for your own good kid.
Clearly you weren't thinking too clearly there, Rusty.
Rusty?
I'm Sonny.
Don't you recognize me?
You're--you're not my Sonny.
Ugh.
You're Rusty.
Rusty Woodenwater.
No!
Don't look at me!
I'm horrible!
Thanks!
Thanks a lot.
Happy now?
Zeroman, it's not what you think.
I didn't want it to end this way.
Because when we were together,
all I know was for the first time in my life
I felt happy!
Happy to be your son!
I have no son, and wishes never come true.
You're dead to me now.
Now you do what you set out to do,
and make me dead to you too.
[Rusty sobs out]
Stop it!
Although I've got to say I'm frankly surprised
that you could pull this off,
you not being that much of an actor
and getting bounced off your own show and all.
Not much of an actor?
I'll show you some acting!
Starting with the breaking of a few legs!
[loud crash]
Not so fast, Rusty!
[bangs on window]
[button beeps]
[Zeroman] Oh boy! It's O-boy!
Yes, O-boy!
Eager young charge and style ward sidekick to Zeroman.
Here to avenge my fallen mentor in this,
his hour of need.
In this, the O-boy Omo blaster,
my latest and greatest dispenser of doom!
Patent pending.
No!
No new gadgets!
Stick to the basics!
Prepare to sample the bittersweet taste of justice
at the business end
of O-boys punishing dispenser of doom.
[flicks switches]
[machine beeps]
[machine whirs]
[machine beeps]
[liquid splats]
[machine whirs]
Get those primary colored grenades outta the trunk,
would you Don?
[grenades clank]
Hey, no!
Stop that.
Ugh.
Why grenades?
Get 'em off.
Get 'em off!
On my way, O-boy.
That's it.
Faster, faster!
[chews loudly]
But I can't eat this much gum.
[explosion sound]
Zero in,
I've gotta fix on O-boy's trajectory.
Position yourself at 180 degrees latitude
and 240 degrees longitude for reentry.
Oh boy, O-boy!
I've got you, O-boy!
We should be fine here.
Here he comes!
Now that was 230 degrees longitude, right?
[high pitched whistle]
Oh, for God's sake.
[loud crash]
Tada.
Victory is ours.
I hate to admit it,
but...
nice work you too.
I'll be surprised if Rusty can even remember his own name,
let alone your secret identity after that.
It's a job well done.
Although I have to admit,
it was nice having a son for a while.
Even if it was only Rusty.
You're right as always, Ty.
Wishes really don't come true.
They say it's harder to have had a son then lost one
than never to have had a son and lost him at all.
And I have you to thank for that, Gary.
Thanks to your loyal intervention,
I haven't just lost a fake son.
I've gained a bouncing buddy O-boy.
[flatulent noise]
Wait, Zeroman.
There's no place I have to be right now.
And I thought maybe,
I don't know.
You could help me with some of my footwork?
Sometimes I feel like I've got two left feet.
I know just how you feel son.
[light crash]
[laughter]
Well, what do you know?
I guess Ty's not always right.
Sometimes wishes really do come true.
[energetic song]
♪ Zero ♪
♪ Man ♪
♪ Here comes Zeroman ♪
♪ Zero ♪
♪ Man ♪
♪ Hem down ♪
♪ That's started ♪
♪ Looking for a hero man ♪
♪ Five four ♪
♪ Three two one ♪
♪ Here comes Zeroman ♪
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