Original subtitles

[siren wailing]

[upbeat jazz music]

♪ It's Zeroman ba da ba da ♪

♪ It's Zeroman ba da ba da ♪

[audience applauding]

♪ It's Zeroman ♪

[pocket watch clanking]

♪ Ba da ba da ♪

[air wooshes]

♪ It's Zeroman ba da ba da ♪

♪ Save the city ♪

[air wooshing]

[microphone screeches]

[dishes crashing]

♪ Ba da ba da da ♪

[tire splats]

[fire blazing]

[foreboding music]

[fire sizzling]

[Zeroman] I love you, Ty.

You hear me?

Give me that! It's mine!

I love you and I appreciate all that you do.

What says I love you more,

The Mother's Day waxing kit or the foot massager, huh?

I got it! I got it!

It's the last one! Aah!

Hold on citizen. Don't let go.

[Zeroman farting]

[girl screams]

Trevor. Jesus, that was close.

She almost let go.

I've been giving it some thought.

I feel a gift made, not a gift bought

is the road to any mother's heart on Mother's Day.

But a spare waxing kit around here could come in handy.

- It's mine! Give me that! - It's mine! Give me that!

Get back I say.

This is mine.

Mine! Mine!

Ty! Ty!

[phone ringing]

It's ringing.

Places everyone.

Hello?

Yay!

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!

Woo! And a 1, 2, 3, 4

♪ M is for the many things she gave me ♪

♪ O is for her offerings of love ♪

♪ T is for-- ♪

Who is this?

Do I know you?

It's me, Mother.

Your darling boy, Rusty and Happy Mother's Day.

I don't have a son.

I used to have a son.

A son I was proud of.

But, Mother!

A child superstar.

So chuck-full of talent,

it would leak out of his drawers.

I devoted my every waking hour to that boy.

Accordion lessons, baton, jazz, and tap.

Mother.

I threw away the best years of my life

turning that son into

the cutest little apple-cheeked button

to ever hit a Sunday night sitcom.

Then you get yourself bounced off your own show.

Everyone gets older Ma.

I got zits and crow's feet from the stress.

Blame the makeup department, not me.

What does it take Ma, huh?

What's it gonna take

to finally win back a little love and respect?

Is it gonna take

the mother of all Mother's Day gifts, huh?

Is that what it's gonna take, huh?

That depends.

What sort of gift could possibly do all that?

Uh, I'll get back to you.

Bucky Dantine here.

Reporting live from Fair City Convention Center

[Bucky grunting]

[shoes screeching to halt]

Where hundreds of rabid Zeroman fans

anxiously await a special appearance

by the Man of Zeal himself.

Fair City's favorites son

and one I'm sure that any mother would be proud of.

[Rusty sobs]

Aw, he had to go and say that.

Quick, grab the kid's nuts.

[nuts crunching]

They used to line up for me, ingrates.

I used to be adored like that.

Remember? [nuts crunching]

Ah, forget them, Rusty.

They're all a bunch of get a life dork-wads

parading around in those stupid costumes

like it's Halloween or something.

[chewing] Of course, that's it.

All I need to make Mother proud

is to become the all-powerful,

invulnerable master of the world.

And I know just how to do it.

First, we'll need a couple of dork-wad costumes

just about your size. [Rusty laughs]

This is the best you could come up with?

Nothing in plaid?

Mmm.

Great flaming hole on a stick.

Don, want one?

Watch it you moron.

This suit ain't flame retarded, you know?

Now, we're supposed to be putting a grab

on Zeroman's number one fan, not eatin'.

[liquid squelches]

Right, sorry.

Uh, where do we start?

Not a chance, sonny boy.

You're way outta your league.

Everyone here knows that I'm Zeroman's number one fan!

Well, that's sure narrows it down.

Beauty.

Like you said, Ty,

a gift made not bought is the road to a mother's heart.

Especially since I had no money at the mall

because as you know, I--

Never carry cash or personal items into battle.

Yes, I know.

Now, what manner of sabotage is this?

You know, I'm no expert or anything,

but it works better if the macaroni is, you know, un-cooked.

You're right.

Not that I'd given it much thought,

but do you suppose it's possible

to actually un-cook something?

I mean, if we try really, really hard for dear old mom.

Oh, dear Lord.

I suppose it would depend on how cooked it was

in the first place though.

But there are two of us and--

[siren blares]

Great flaming hole!

Looks like you're tackling this un-cooking thing

on your own, Ty.

Some Fair City unfortunate

is in need of the Man of Zeal's help.

An important news flash.

Zeroman's number one fan

has been kidnapped by Rusty Woodenwater.

The failed preteen thespian turned criminal.

Thespian, eh?

I never would've taken Rusty for a religious man.

Uh, boy. Uh, man-boy.

But no matter whose candles he's burning,

if ransom is Rusty's game,

he is barking into the wind.

Zeroman, come on.

This sounds serious.

What are you gonna do about it?

Not a thing, Ty.

I refuse to negotiate with known criminals.

My number one fan knows that, and by God,

they'd be willing to take one the shin

before seeing me compromise my do-good principles.

But you just can't do nothing.

Oh, yes I can, Ty.

Hmm, but isn't doing nothing

really an act of doing something.

Boy, if we aren't giving the old noodle a workout today.

We've just received confirmation

that Zeroman's kidnapped number one fan

is none other than Jaundice Mutton.

Mommy?

[suspenseful music]

Van Gogh's ear,

Brandall's baby teeth,

a dirt bike, I always wanted one,

a national holiday named after me,

a potato coincidentally baring my likeness,

and last but not least,

Zeroman's super suit,

which is rightfully mine I might add.

All that in exchange for his number one fan

or else! [laughs wickedly]

Or else what?

You gonna stamp your feeties and pee your pants?

You big baby. [laughs]

Oh, yeah?

Well, you just wait.

You just waited until I'm in Zeroman's shorts.

Ooh, cut, cut, cut!

[static buzzes]

Cut out that last part and attach a note

informing that soon-to-be out to pasture superhero,

that he has 30 minutes to make good on all my demands.

[clock ticking]

No, make that 29 minutes. [laughs wickedly]

At long last, Mother will be proud of me,

as I stand before

her as the invulnerable,

all-powerful master of the world. [laughs wickedly]

Ah, geez.

We should have got that on tape.

It was gold kid, real gold.

Gold as yellow snow.

I'm getting upset here.

Doesn't anyone notice that I'm getting upset here?

[nuts crunching]

Uh, ma'am,

I don't suppose you could just try to look terrified.

Yeah, you know, maybe shake in your socks a little.

Don't wear socks, and I'm no lady.

And thanks to you, Three Stooges,

I'm in for an up close and personal rescue

from Zeroman himself.

Why, I'll bet Zeroman is hauling his buns of Zeal

down here right now to tear you limb from limb.

Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy.

Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy.

As I suspected, a textbook case

of mommy-go-bye-bye syndrome.

Zeroman, you gotta snap out of it.

We have less than 29 minutes to comply

or else Rusty's gonna,

or else your mother.

Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy.

And on top of that,

just look at all these flaming hole emergencies.

Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy.

I hate to do this, but we can't just sit here.

I'm switching the super suit to joystick override.

[air wooshing]

[energetic music]

Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy.

[controller beeping]

Now, which buttons move forward?

[cape flapping]

[glass shattering]

Come on.

[engine revving]

[tires screeching]

[cars crashing]

[steam hissing]

[Ty] Citizens, remember good driving and safe and fun

courtesy are everybody's fight.

Always signal and--

[bus crashes]

Ooh, look at me.

I'm Rusty. [lips smacking]

I'm gonna make Zeroman bend to my will

'cause I'm big and bad and-- [coughs]

Where is he?

Where the heck is Zeroman?

Help! Help! My Jimmy's fallen.

[alligator growls]

He brought me here for mother's day. [cries]

[Ty] Uh, Zeroman, near.

Uh, never here.

[Ty laughs] No, no, no need to thank me.

[screams]

[aligator screams]

[muffled grumbling]

[spits]

And what's with the clown pants?

Are you hiding your diapers?

That's it!

I'm telling you to put a sock in it or, or, or else.

Or else what?

You don't have the stones for it, Failure Boy.

You know what?

I hope Zeroman doesn't come across.

So I can, I can,

or else you good.

Maybe even two times.

Think of your mother, Rusty.

Think of Mommy.

Remember you promised her the suit master of the world.

Yeah, you're right.

Make mother proud.

That's the priority.

The super suit.

I really, really need the suit

almost as much as I need to get rid of her.

Why isn't he here?

Where is he?

[watch ticking]

That's what I wanted you to find out, Connie.

He was supposed to be here an hour ago.

The geeks are getting restless.

[phone beeps]

Well, perhaps we sport the colors

of the Cape Crusader of not erroneously.

As the Man of Z's questionable tardiness

would indicate a cavalier,

almost rogue-like lack of concern for his fans.

I'm just saying.

And I'm just saying relax, Orca.

There's probably a perfectly good reason Zeroman isn't here.

And if any of us should know,

I should know because I am Zeroman's number one fan.

[Group Member] I'm Zeroman's number one fan.

[group arguing]

[punches thudding]

[phone ringing]

Hello?

Hey.

Hello?

It's mine.

Hello, Connie.

What have you got?

Uh-huh, no fooling.

It's all over the news, huh?

A Zero fan has been kidnapped.

That's why Zeroman's not here.

He's out there saving one of our own right now.

Forgive me for doubting you man of Zeal.

To, Zeroman.

Great Flaming Holes.

[clock ticking]

Time's up.

Where is he?

Wasn't the ransom video clear enough?

Uh, superhero suit in exchange for, or else.

Who wrote this crap?

Oh, sure.

It's always someone else's fault, isn't it?

You big failure.

Zeroman's not coming because you weren't convincing enough.

Who taught you how to act?

Unconvincing? I was too convincing.

I'm calling Zeroman myself.

Not convincing? I'll show you convincing.

Go take your nap junior.

I'm gonna show you how to do this right.

[gasps]

♪ Rescue mommy. ♪

♪ Mommy's little baby's gonna rescue mommy. ♪

Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy.

[Jaundice] Help me Zeroman!

It is your number one fan!

Mommy?

They're torturing me.

And making me do horrible unspeakable things. [sobbing]

I don't know how long I can last.

Please, Zeroman, save me! [sobbing]

You heard her Zeroman.

So what do you say we cut the game?

I'll trade her for the super suit,

and I'll throw in the rope.

I say you've gone way too far this time rusty.

If you think I'm going to hand over the only thing

that stands between you and total world domination,

Well, [laughs] you're right.

The super suit is yours.

Deal. No takes back.

You said it. [laughs wickedly]

[foreboding music]

I admire your convictions Les,

but I strongly advise you not give into Rusty

until all other options have been exhausted.

If he gets his hands on that suit,

he'll become the invulnerable,

all-powerful master of the world.

It says so right here on the tag.

Be that as it may old friend,

as Zeroman refuse to make deals with criminals,

I, Les Mutton, refuse to risk one hair

on my saintly mother's head.

I guess this means

that she really does mean the world to me.

Bless her enlarged heart.

[hand slapping]

[triumphant music]

Les, we won't be able to communicate without the glasses.

It's over Ty.

Don't you get it, man?

It's over.

Zeroman is no more.

It's between me and Rusty now.

Rusty and I.

Sorry, old chum.

He said to come alone.

Don't worry, father.

I'm bringing Mother home.

[scoffs] Other way.

All right.

You, you guys,

uh, where's my mother?

Your mother?

I believe you're holding her hostage.

Oh, that mother.

Well, since you asked,

either Zeroman shows up and hands over his super suit

or else, this.

She kept asking her else what?

So I gave her an or else what.

[Zeroman] Mother?

Leslie? Oh, great.

Now you're here to screw it all up too.

Well, actually I'm here to save you.

Well, don't. Save your breath.

Go home and leave the saving to Zeroman.

But you don't understand, Mother.

I am Zeroman.

Huh?

Ah?

Uh?

What?

[laughing]

Somebody's been licking too many stamps again.

But I am Zeroman,

or I used to be before I decided

to give up my super suit.

Look here it is.

Of course it'll need pressing

in the cotton setting with a touch of steam.

Listen, pops, admitting that piece of work is your mother

makes you one of the bravest guys I've ever met.

But Zeroman? I don't think so.

No, really. I am Zeroman.

Wait till you see me with my Zero Specs on.

Now where did I put my glasses at?

Oh, no.

My glasses.

[mysterious music]

Oh, man. Think, Ty.

How can I get Les the backup he needs

without getting his backup.

I have to do something,

but I'm running out of time and ideas.

[sighs heavily] Oh, boy.

[phone dialing]

Gary, I hate to say this, but I have a job for you.

[Gary] Yeah, boy! Woo-hoo!

Now do you see? You get the picture, right?

Now, do you see, do you see who I am now?

Try squinting.

Oh, come on.

Oh, I know.

Ta-da! Zeroman here, ever near.

Oh, and I was feeling sorry for Rusty's mother. God.

Okay, that's it.

If Zeroman doesn't walk through that door in one second,

I'm gonna deep fry a second cross daughter.

[crane creaks]

No, you've got to believe me.

I'm telling the truth.

Try it on if you don't believe me.

I really am Zeroman.

No, I am Zeroman.

Ha-ha!

[triumphant music]

No, I am Zeroman!

No, I am Zeroman!

No I am Zeroman!

No, I am Zeroman!

I am Zeroman!

Which one of you is the real Zeroman?

Ooh, ooh, ooh. It's me.

It's me.

The one thing I do know is it's not the mailman.

You got that right.

It's definitely not him.

So if no one is willing to cooperate,

I guess we'll have to do this the hard way.

Get mother on the horn.

It's time.

[tense music]

[rubber snaps]

Lay it on me, brother.

[chair squeaks] [suspenseful music]

Rusty? Hey, what are you doing in that ridiculous suit?

Making you proud, Ma. Making you proud.

You were never proud of me as just your son.

[brooding music]

So how about as the invulnerable,

all- powerful, master of the world!

Behold my invincible invulnerability!

[foreboding music]

Lay it on me, brother.

[chair thuds]

Okay, that's not the suit.

Hold on, Ma. Next.

[upbeat funky music]

Oh, yes. This is it.

I can really feel it this time. Behold my--

[chair thuds]

Next.

[chair thuds]

Let's go again.

Rolling on four.

[chair thuds]

Once more.

[chair thuds]

Nope, not this one.

[chair thuds] Yes, sir. May I have another?

Next one's a keeper.

Let's go again.

[upbeat music]

[wood creaks]

Stop! I can't take it.

Besides, there's no way the mailman has the right suit.

And I thought my son was a disappointment.

Tell me about it.

As of this moment, I have no son.

I did it all for you, Ma.

Did what? Fail again?

Some Mother's Day this is.

From now on, mail my checks.

Here comes the hissy fit.

Okay, that's it! I've had it!

Or else them! Or else them all!

Starting with the mouthy old bat.

No one calls my mother the B-word.

Now apologize and let her go or else.

Or else what?

Or else this. [Zeroman bellows]

[bellowing continues]

[Rusty] Ah! He's gone postal!

[energetic music]

Don't forget your mail, Rusty.

[mail wooshing through air]

[Rusty thumps]

[paper slapping]

Time to wrap this up.

Huh?

[plastic squeaking]

[air wooshing]

[tongue slurping]

Special delivery,

care of the fair city police department.

Hooray! [group cheering]

I may not be Zeroman,

but Les Mutton knows how to dole out the mail.

Never mess with a man's livelihood

or his mother, Rusty.

Especially on Mother's Day.

Oh, yeah?

Well, Happy Mother's day, sucker!

[laughs wickedly]

Nice going.

Leslie!

Mother!

[suspenseful music]

No!

My dear sweet mother, gone!

All gone because of me.

Never again will I see the roomy twinkle in her eyes

or hear sweet husky voice say Les, dear. [sobs]

[Jaundice] Get your rear end getter and get over here.

Mother? Is that you up there in heaven?

[Jaundice] Fat chance of that.

I'm in the volcano you idiot!

It's just a stupid prop.

Now get me outta here!

[upbeat music]

[doorknob rattles]

[door squeaks]

Don't get too close.

I got the thermostat cut way up for Zeroman all for nothing.

Thanks to you.

Well, sometimes a son has to do what a son has to do.

You're moving out?

Oh, Lesley.

Oh, this is the best Mother's Day gift

you could ever give me.

Oh, mother.

Hey, I almost forgot.

Happy Mother's Day.

I made it myself.

[cheerful music]

[sniffles] Why, Les. Oh, this is--

[blows nose]

Gonna come in handy.

That drafty studio must have given me a cold.

Mother, you kept it

instead of tossing it away like you always do.

This is the best Mother's Day ever.

[cheerful music]

I don't know why I keep these stupid things

or put up with that big doofus year after year.

[Zeroman] Mother! The macaroni cheese is ready!

It's yours special Mother's Day meal

that I cooked special for you.

Although, you may have to come and help me un-cook it a bit.

You can't un-cooked macaroni you dead bolt!

We've been through this!

[upbeat adventurous music]

♪ Zero ♪

♪ Man ♪

♪ Here comes Zeroman ♪

♪ Zero ♪

♪ Man ♪

♪ Countdown has started looking for a hero man ♪

♪ 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, ♪

♪ Here comes Zeroman ♪

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0