Original subtitles

What's that?

I've always had that.

Have you?

I never noticed.

Hello?

What?

Is she okay?

Yeah.

Yeah, of course.

I'll be there as soon as I can.

Okay, okay, bye.

- What happened? - That was Caroline.

Kristen's in the hospital.

What?

She started bleeding.

Oh my god.

Fuck, fuck. Fuck!

Wait, I'll come with you. No, no!

It's okay.

See ya.

Can't believe there's no shower in there.

You said it was too expensive and I must use the one in the house.

Oh.

When was the last time you hoovered?

-Dad!

Sticky. Yeah.

That'll be all the semen.

Your mother hasn't been in the kitchen all morning.

Maybe she got lucky last night.

Think I could sneak over for a wash?

Sure.

What if she's there?

She's not there by now, she's not there.

She's probably over at Aunty Rita's.

Okay. I'll risk it.

You wouldn't have a towel?

Thanks.

What's going on?

Where have you been?

At a friend's.

What's that?

It's a casserole.

Ahem, right well, I think we have everything we need.

Really? Are you sure?

We'll file the report and be in touch.

What report? What's happened?

Aren't you taking this?

Oh, we can't take food.

I'm trying to go vegan.

As evidence.

To run tests on or whatever, at the lab?

I don't think that's necessary.

He put something in it!

Mum... Don't Mum me!

He's trying to poison me!

Why else would he use a Le Creuset?

People always use the good stuff

when they're up to the bad!

Everybody knows that!

When will I hear from you?

Are you going to...?

Oh...

Oh my fucking Jesus!

What's happening?

Dad! What are you doing here, Tom?

I was going for...

Why are the guards here?

Are you alright?

She was concerned about Pam.

Pam? That's what this is all about?

Pam?

For god's sake, Bernie, she's just on her holidays!

In Mallorca!

And take your fucking slippers!

She needs more time.

Cup of tea?

How about some breakfast?

Eggs?

Probably tired, after all that excitement.

I'm not one of your patients.

You don't have to use that voice.

What voice.

That irritating voice.

Mum!

I've just spent the night listening to her go on

about a fucking casserole and that's the thanks I get.

Err...

What happened?

She thinks her neighbour's trying to kill her.

I meant with Kristen.

How do you know about Krist...?

You were with him.

Is the baby okay?

Caroline...

Yes. The baby's fine.

They've kept her in for observation.

And is, err, Jack still...

is he still with her?

Jesus.

You're more delusional than our mother.

ANT: Mum?

Are you okay?

I was calling you last night.

Sorry, yeah. Things got a bit intense at Mina's.

You were at Mina's?

Just for a bit. Not long.

Why?

I needed to talk to Dad about something.

What?

Just, guy stuff.

Oh.

Do you think maybe you were being a bit hard on him?

Like I'm not making up excuses,

but he thought you wanted him to stay.

Oh, the poor man.

What an awful mix-up. Okay.

I know you're pissed off.

And you're right to be.

But, please let him kip here for a few...?

I don't want him in the house.

- Mm-hmm.

So what?

He'll have to stay in my shed?

Well, given you two are so close... Oh come on Mum.

Will you let him shower?

No. Ten minutes!

No.

Is that the fella that was here?

No.

Do you like him?

What? No.

Why don't you call him and ask him out?

Oh my god! Or send a text.

And say what?

Say err, Max, that's his name, yeah?

Max... I'm sorry I acted like an arse.

Can I make up for it and buy you a pint?

A pint? Yeah.

Could I say a cocktail?

Sure.

Nah, this is stupid! I'm not doing it.

Ah, for god's sake... What are you doing?

I never understand your generation.

Give me the phone.

Give me the phone.

Give me the fucking phone!

Err, hello. Is this Max?

Sorry, who is this?

Err, my name is Thomas Sheridan.

We haven't officially met.

Jesus! Oh my god...

I believe you know my son, Anthony,

from the estate agents.

Err... Yeah?

Well err, I'm ringing on his behalf.

He's... he's very, err, sorry

for err, the way he behaved towards you.

You know, I know you two were intimate...

Kill me, kill me!

I don't get into that

kind of stuff with him, obviously...

Is this a joke?

Oh god no!

No, he wants to take you out and apologise.

Dad, hang up. Man to man.

Hang up now!

Err, okay.

Listen, umm, tell him I'll text him.

He does answer his own texts, right?

He does, yeah. He does.

Yeah. Nice talking to you, Max.

He's gonna text.

Oh, god! Oh!

Hey, Jack Corcoran here.

Leave a message.

Where do you think it's going?

With Jack.

Where do you actually think it's going?

Can we just not right now?

He has done the same thing over and over since you were 19.

He picks you up, he's all intense

like you're the most important thing in the world

and then he just... Yeah well,

it's different now.

How is it different?

It's just a bit of... Fun?

Yeah.

Looks it.

Oh, Jack.

They've discharged her.

He's taking her home.

Guess that's one thing off your conscience.

I know you don't want me in the house.

And, err, I won't stay.

Look, love... Don't call me love.

Do you think

maybe you should find yourself a hobby?

Hmm, or a little job,

you know, part time.

you know, part time. Not for the money.

Not for the money.

just to take your mind off things.

Off what things?

Off the fact I've been betrayed

by the person I trust most in the world?

Or that my adult children are losing the plot?

No, they're...

they're not losing the plot.

You know, Ant is very hospitable.

Oh. Are you gonna take him too, and what?

Leave me here with Shiv and all her bullshit?

Do you actually think she's stopped drinking?

What do you mean?

We've never been able to trust a word

that comes out of her mouth.

If Shiv wants to carry on being a sad,

fucked up failure,

well, that's her choice.

And do you know what?

I don't even care anymore.

She was only supposed to stay for the fucking weekend!

Yes, I know!

I know.

Do you want me to talk to her?

Tell her you need space.

No, just get out, will ye?

Could I nip down the hall and grab a jumper?

Has she gone out again?

Everything okay?

Yeah.

Caroline said Kristen's fine.

Yeah. Thank god.

They thought it had to do with the placenta

but she thinks she might have just overdid it in yoga.

Too much downward dog.

Or something.

That's good.

So, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to do something later.

I know you're with Kristen now but...

I've had such a shitty day with my family.

I could really do... Your family?

Jesus Shiv, there's a lot more important things

going on than your fucking family.

I mean Kristen nearly lost our baby.

You said it was downward dog.

I can't deal with this now.

I was just looking...

I've my own family to think about, okay?

What do you want me to do for you?

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

What are you doing?

Getting supplies for me and dad.

What if there is something in it?

I'll let him try it first.

What kind of eejit leaves his wife

without warning his mistress?

Straight men are clueless.

Yeah.

Speaking of.

You didn't come home last night.

Yeah, sorry.

It was a... weird evening.

I thought you were avoiding me.

No, no, no.

I'm worried I freaked you out yesterday...

Do you want to marry me?

Yes! Oh, my god.

No, like really?

Yes, really. More than anything.

Cause the way you were talking yesterday,

it seems like you want to have sex with

a lot of other people.

Only if you're there too!

I don't want to sneak around

behind each other's backs or anything.

No.

But if we're going to have any sort of marriage,

we need to be able to talk about this.

I know.

I was just trying to tell you what I'm into.

But it doesn't mean you have to be into it too.

I am into it.

Not the Lycra thing or the clowns but the threesome stuff,

maybe I could get on board with.

Really?

Great.

LAUGHS That's great.

Should we sign up to like an app or...?

I think we should have sex with each other first.

Yeah. Warm up.

There's a bed here.

Okay, so...

Who do you want to watch me with?

Umm... Who do you want me to watch you with?

A guy or a girl?

Open to both. Okay.

Who have you fantasized about watching me with?

Umm...

Do you want to see a photo of Miss Riordan?

Sure. Okay.

No, that's won't work for me.

No, sorry. Err, the lads at the track?

Yeah, let's try that. Okay.

Him?

Oh, he's attractive.

Isn't he?

Okay, so umm...

What's he gonna do to me?

Err, firstly, umm...

Oh, for god's sake. He can do whatever he wants.

Hiya! Is Shiv here?

Err, no, she's, uh...

And you are?

Karen. I'm a friend.

From town.

Could I wait inside?

We've a bit of business to settle.

Sure.

Thanks.

Mum!

Have we any clean sheets?

Get out!

Oh!

Lovely house.

Small for the price though.

I googled the area before I came out, mad.

But lovely.

Yeah, thanks.

Are you selling drugs to our daughter?

What? Is 'friend from town' a code?

No! Jesus, just cause I'm from the Northside!

Shiv!

Your friend's here... from town.

What friend?

Karen, what are you doing here?

Well, you're not answering me calls.

Are you alright? you look a bit...

Is he back in the house?

I'm making sure your mother's alright.

Course she's not alright. She's stuck here with me.

The sad, fucked up failure

who was only going to stay for one weekend.

What?

Do you want to go for a coffee?

I heard what you said about me earlier.

Oh, did ye?

Oh...

Right.

Well, you know what, maybe you needed to hear it.

Maybe it's about time we all stop pussyfooting

around your hypocrisy and tell it like it is.

What, that you don't want me here?

That you bring darkness and destruction everywhere you go!

Ah, Bernie... It's true!

She's a magnet for it.

What's all the shouting?

Everything was fine.

We were fine,

We were fine, until you came home with all your recovery bullshit!

until you came home with all your recovery bullshit!

All your lies!

Talking everything out!

Everybody saying what they feel!

Does it make anyone feel any better,

all this fucking talking?

Does it?

I lost my son!

You didn't lose your son.

You didn't lose Carl.

He killed himself.

He was in pain, and none of us saw, and he killed himself.

That's the truth.

That's on us!

There's no getting away from that one, Bernie!

I don't have to listen to this.

No! Have another drink instead!

What? Bernie.

Bernie!

What the fuck, Shiv?

Bernie, will ye stop. Leave me alone!

You don't care about me!

Bernie, come back in!

The neighbours can see! Come on!

None of you see me!

I'm invisible, like every other woman my age!