Original subtitles

What are you doing?

I can't go home.

Why?

There's cum on my dress.

Rory's?

No.

Tell me everything.

Who was it?

The silver fox?

I knew you were gonna ride him.

Oh.

Was it not good?

He didn't even get inside me.

What? He didn't even get it inside me!

So you didn't... No.

He just... Came all over my dress.

On your dress? He literally came all over my dress.

That's literally all I got out of it.

I've had teenage fingerings

at the Christian Brothers College disco

that were more sexually satisfying than that.

You let guys finger you at the CBC disco?

Everyone let guys finger them at the CBC disco.

That was the whole point!

It's not fair!

I got six A1s in the leaving certs.

Literally the highest score you can get.

I got into the College of Surgeons for Christ's sake,

but I can't get a middle aged man to fuck me in a car park?

I can't even have a simple affair.

Well... I just want to have sex!

Let's not keep doing that.

Do you and Rory not have sex?

Of course we have sex. We're not Mormons!

It's just been a while.

How long's a while?

Three months...

Six months.

A year. A year?

Why?

Because he's been training for a triathlon

and it's a high endurance, multidisciplinary sport

and it makes him very, very tired.

I thought you were training too.

I gave up! CRYING

Oh, Caroline...

No, stop!

I don't want your pity. I hate that.

But I think it's really sad.

You're a woman in the prime of your life.

You should be having great sex.

I know that!

Don't you think I know that?

Don't you think I know that? I want to have great sex!

I want to have great sex!

I want to have great sex!

We need to go inside now.

No. Yes. Yep, come on.

I tried to cheat on my lovely, loyal boyfriend.

I'm a terrible person.

You are not a terrible person.

You're just unhappy in your relationship.

I'm not that unhappy.

Most of the time I feel nothing.

Oh, what if Rory finds out?

Would that be the worst thing?

Yes!

He's the only person in my life

I can actually rely on.

Caroline, do you want to end up like our parents?

In a sad, sexless relationship

made functional by weekly visits

made functional by weekly visits to an acupuncturist?

to an acupuncturist?

Or do you want to live on your terms,

with a man who knows you

and appreciates you

and who you can have great sex with...

at least several times a week?

That feels like a lot. I do double shifts.

- This could be an opportunity.

For what? To tell Rory how you feel.

Oh...

Something important is missing

in your relationship.

If he doesn't want to fix that,

maybe he's not the guy for you.

You are not a terrible person.

I should have told you about Jack and Kristen

I've known she was pregnant for ages.

Why didn't you tell me?

I guess I was seeing if you'd really changed.

It was shitty. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry too.

ANT: Shiv!

Dad's leaving!

What? He's packing up his stuff!

He's leaving mum.

What the fuck, Ant?

Dad! What's going on!

Jesus! You're all there!

What's that on your...?

Nothing. Where are you going?

Umm...

Your mother and I have had a...

a little talk

and we think it's best if I go away for a while.

Away where?

To Mina's.

You were right, love,

what you said at the family meeting was right.

About time we had some honesty.

But you have been honest.

You're in an open marriage, we all know, so...

No, no...

It's not really an open marriage

if one of you's in love with someone else...

In love?

Thought it was just a casual sex thing with Mina.

-No, no. The sex was never the point.

It's like Shiv said...

For god's sakes, she's not the Dalai Lama!

Look, this is what they call a mid-life crisis.

No, it's not a mid-life crisis, Caroline,

because I'm not in mid-life.

Yous are.

What?!

I am in the last act of my life

and if I don't start telling the truth now

when will I?

So, I'm doing it.

I'm owning it.

I am in love with Mina.

It's like you were sayin'...

Please, stop.

I'm sorry.

But it's the right thing, for both of us.

- I'll come back for the rest of me stuff.

So wait, wait, wait...

You're just leaving? Just like that?

I hope you'll come and spend some time with us.

You know, Mina really is a wonderful woman.

Oh, fuck you!

Fuck you!

This is your fault.

Well, that family meeting certainly stirred the pot.

Mum... Did you know Pam is missing?

-Pam, your neighbour?

She's not answering texts,

she's not answering emails.

I've had some very strange

encounters with her husband.

What's just happened, Mum?

He's replaced her,

that's what's happened,

with some redhead.

Are you okay?

I'm fine!

Is Pam okay?

That's the question.

Course it's not your fault!

I'm the one who called the family meeting.

I'm the one who said to tell the truth.

Hold it steady will ye?

I need to get a proper swing.

My parents have just split up.

I know, love.

It's disappointing for everyone

when an open relationship doesn't work out.

But what's it got to do with you?

They're adults.

You've about as much control over them

as you do the old glug glug glug.

Speaking of, how are you feeling about tonight?

Err, what's tonight?

The meeting! You're our speaker!

What? I...

Come on! Hold it steady!

Karen, I can't do the talk tonight!

I'm a mess.

Those are always the funniest, haha!

Please find someone else.

I'll do it next time.

You made a commitment!

Yeah, I know. Part of not behaving like an addict

is honouring our commitments,

instead of going on a bender,

we stick to our word!

Yeah! Because believe it or not,

there's people in more pain than you.

And hearing your story, how you got sober

how you stayed sober despite having no job,

no home, no meaningful relationship...

will you hold the fucking thing steady!

I'm going for Katie Taylor here.

Okay.

I'll do the talk!

Ah, good girl!

Cause it's a bitch to find someone last minute.

Put on a bit of lippy

and run a brush through your hair beforehand!

We're alcoholics, not savages!

Hideous.

Yo. Where's Mam?

She's not picking up.

She went for a walk.

By herself?

Yeah.

And you let her?

What was I supposed to do?

For God's sake!

Her husband just left! She's vulnerable!

Wait, what are you saying?

That she might do something to herself?

Hello?

Sorry, Ant, gotta go.

Wait, what about Mam?

Hey, Dan!

Hey... Can I have a word?

Yeah. Sure, Dr Sheridan.

Did you get home okay?

Yes. Yeah, I did, thanks.

You? Yeah, yeah. Yeah...

Well, no, I actually ended up staying at my parents

which turned into a...

Doesn't matter. Umm...

I just wanted to say, about last night,

because I don't want it to be weird between us.

No, no. No, me neither.

And what happened really wasn't a big deal.

No. I mean, shit happens .

People get excited in situations

and I was excited.

Maybe too excited. Yeah.

What?

Mm-hmm.

I just meant ,you know, we don't have to write it off as a total...

We could even

try again sometime...

Maybe? Umm...

No.

I don't think so.

No? But err...

Thanks.

I'm at work, Ant.

I found this in Dad's stuff.

It's Carl's death cert.

He didn't die of some mysterious heart thing.

He committed suicide. It's right there.

Put that back where you found it.

Why? It'll upset people.

They've been lying to us!

There's Dad making me feel like I'm the fucking failure!

Carl's the coward who killed himself.

You don't know what you're talking about, okay?

Did you know about this?

My boss is looking at me.

Shiv, did you know?

I found him, Ant. Of course I knew.

Why didn't you tell me?

You were a kid, you didn't even know him!

You're supposed to be the fucking honest one!

Ant, wait!

Ant!

Hey.

What happened?

Ant found Carl's death cert. He didn't know.

Ah, shit.

You were supposed to answer the phones

while we meditate.

Err, she's got a family emergency.

Is everything okay?

Can she go early?

No. Honestly, there's no need.

Actually, that would be great.

If you go you could open tomorrow

and I can go to pregnancy yoga!

Everybody wins.

Shiv!

Wait up!

Yo!

Where you going?

I've a meeting shortly.

A meeting?

Fuck that. Excuse me?

You don't need to wallow in this shit.

You need to blow it off.

Well, I....

I used to do that with whiskey

and it didn't work out so well, so...

Wait...

How about we do something together?

Huh?

Oh, this place looks fancy.

Table for two please.

Have you a reservation?

Have you a reservation? Oh, Arthur knows me.

Oh, Arthur knows me.

Jack Corcoran. He said stop in any time.

Call him if you want.

Follow me please.

May I take your coat? No, thank you.

So... Have you decided?

We'll have a bit of everything.

Everything? Yeah.

The plates are small

and we've pretty big appetites, so why not.

We'll have a jug of that mint infused whatever that is too.

-Of course.

How much will this cost? Don't worry about it.

I owe a lot of people money.

It's taken care of, okay?

Here.

What do you think of that?

Err...

bog standard restaurant art?

Guy who owns this place, he's a big collector.

He's got some serious pieces.

I think it's pretentious.

I hate shit like that.

Why, who's the artist?

Me.

What the...? Oh...

Shit.

Caroline!

Rory made me a barm brack.

A what? He made it himself.

It's so fluffy!

I got your message.

Thought I'd pop over after work.

Everything is made better by a barm brack.

So, you're okay then?

I was telling Rory about Pam.

I found her shoe!

And he was saying it's amazing

the amount of men that actually murder their wives.

The statistics are shocking.

Well...

the indignity of being left for an older woman aside,

I've been spared that at least.

Have some cake, love.

It's delicious.

So, she's acting fully mental, right?

It's just the shock.

It's understandable.

Thanks for coming over today.

I couldn't leave Bernie by herself after that.

Jesus.

I can't believe old Tom just left.

After everything they've been through.

I know.

Where's the fecking loyalty, like?

They've been together forty years,

you don't turn around one day and...

Rory?

Yeah?

Will you marry me?

Please.

Mum!

Have we any champagne?

Champagne?

He said yes!

Who?

Oh, fuck off.

I am so sorry. Will you stop apologising?

I didn't mean to... Shit?

Yeah you did.

And you're right,

because I haven't made a decent piece of art in years.

Well I'm sure that's not true.

I'm just so fucking bored, Shiv.

I used to do things, go places.

I used to take risks.

And now I...

I've nothing to say.

Fatherhood's kind of risky.

What? It is!

It's not like it was planned, okay?

At least not by me.

Oh.

Don't you miss the old days, huh?

All the mad shit we used to do?

We were fucking crazy.

We were kids. No, no.

We just had balls back then.

Burrata.

Made in West Cork.

Served with a grilled nectarine coulis

and a basil reduction.

Enjoy.

Listen, I err...

I appreciate what you've done for me today,

distracting me and treating me to dinner.

I'm not paying for dinner.

What?

But you said...

That's about 300 quid there.

I can't afford 300 quid.

I can, but...

where's the fun in that?

Huh? LAUGHS

No, no. No fucking way, Jack.

What? We used to do it all the time in college.

Doing a runner in here! We could get arrested!

Do you have a choice?

Hmm?

Fuck you, Jack!

Nice...

Create a diversion...

We need to make it bigger.

Bigger?

How fucking dare you!

Okay, it is one thing

sleeping with my sister,

but my brother!

Madam! Madam! Pick a fucking team!

Wait! You saw what she did?

She's a fucking nut job!

Wait! Run, Shiv, run!

MAITRE D': Wait!

But they know who you are!

Let 'em come find me!

You're a fucking lunatic!

Nice studio.

Thanks. It's expensive.

Do you want to get that?

No. It'll just be my family.

They ruin everything.