Original subtitles

I found this in your pocket.

Purple Rain?

You want to tell me who you got it from?

I get the product through a network of gamers

called The Replicants.

I was about to meet with my contact,

Jake Mardy,

but then a few days ago,

the whole operation went offline.

Jake Mardy?

I mean, I just ask myself,

like how well do I really know Nathan?

Because you know I was gone for eight months

and I’m putting a whole lot of my eggs in his basket.

Kel, do you ever really get over your ex?

Uh... I certainly hope Nathan is over his.

It’s probably hard for him to talk about.

Why?

Oh, he was heartbroken

when Vanessa ended things.

Vanessa’s my mom, that’s what I call her.

You’ve been getting together with Nathan and your mom?

Just like the last six months, maybe. Since I started school.

So... will you come home with me tonight?

Are you gonna invite me to your next dinner

with Tueli and Vanessa?

Kelly...

I... just wanted to say thank you

for letting me crash here.

Ugh, men... - Mm-hmm.

(gagging) - You know what? And women...

(blows raspberry) - Ugh!

(laughing) - Egg beater!

Egg beater is two words. - No, it’s one word!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. - Yes!

This is how it’s done, this is how it’s done.

Set that timer, set that timer. Are we ready?

In three, in two, in one, bam! Boom!

Here we go. - Mm-hmm.

Two words, TV show,

Gossip Girls! - Yes!

(sighs)

(chuckling)

One word. (gagging)

Hangover! - Yes!

(laughing)

Off to a great start!

Two words.

Oh! Britney Spears! Yeah!

- Yeah! Okay! - That’s three.

Two words.

Cold. Chicken?

Chicken clucking?

Cold turkey! - Yeah!

Cold turkey! (timer ringing)

Oh, yes!

(both): Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Woo!

Are you kidding me? You’re cheating,

you got to be cheating. - No, no, no, no, no.

It’s a mind meld, two peas in a pod,

this is the benefits of oversharing.

Yeah, well, you wait. Next time, I’m gonna bring

my friend Jen and we’re gonna kick your ass.

(doorbell ringing) - Who’s Jen? - Uh... it’s her friend

since she was a kid,

but no one’s beaten Skelly!

Ro, we’ve got this, all right?

Oh, we got this.

We’re just playing a video game downstairs!

We’re playing a video game downstairs, bring the chips.

Yeah. I got it, I got it, I got it.

Okay, you take it.

(indistinct chatter)

Kelly?

Kelly, what are you doing?

We talked about this.

I’m giving you and Tueli space.

No, that’s not what’s happening right now.

What’s happening right now is that you’re mad at me...

because I went out with my ex a few times

while you were out of town,

because you found out that she broke up with me

instead of the other way around! - Wow!

So, I guess you know what’s happening.

Can we just talk about this? - No.

I don’t even know what to say to you right now.

Okay.

You want space?

I can give you space.

I’ll give you all the space you want.

(door closes)

(sighs)

(upbeat music)

I had a lot of fun last night.

Yeah, me too, right?

Trivia night at The Crown, it’s always a great time.

- Mm-hmm. - Anyway, I’ll see you later.

Hey, I wanted to talk about Saturday.

I was thinking maybe we could go to the Aqualounge.

Aqualounge on the east side,

isn’t that like a... like a swinger’s club?

(laughing) - Yeah, only on Tuesdays.

On Saturdays, they do Shibari workshops,

the art of Japanese rope bondage.

Wow! Yeah.

Um... - You know what?

It’s not your thing, never mind.

It’s all good, I’ll just go with Brett.

I mean, who said it wasn’t my thing?

It’s just, you know, 9 o’clock in the morning,

I just need a minute to wrap my head around this thing.

Right.

(clears throat)

You know I had sex on a boat once?

Yeah, in the ocean... or a lake,

but it was a good time,

so it’s not like I’m a prude or anything.

Oh my God, you guys!

I was just trying to convince Naz to come with me

to the Aqualounge on Saturday.

- Yeah. - Wait... hang on,

aren’t we hanging out on Saturday?

Kidding! We’re on Sunday.

Oh my God, did you see his face?

(chuckling) - Yeah, cool.

Sarah, Sara, I... I gotta go, so...

Give me your calendar. It’ll take two seconds, come on.

- Yeah. - Naz, if this is going to fly,

we got to integrate.

The Love Cats gotta work as a team.

Absolutely.

(indistinct chatter)

Already had one.

Oh.

Morning, team. Shall we get started?

Jody Maleki, university TA

whose side hustle is selling Purple Rain to students.

Apparently, at low doses, it can enhance

both mood and focus,

so it’s gaining traction as both a study drug

and a party drug. Jody says she bought it online

from a Replicant member named Jake Mardy.

Our job is to find Jake,

get some concrete evidence against him,

arrest him and find out who’s bringing this stuff

into the country.

Unfortunately, Jody’s never met Jake in person,

however, I managed to find two Jake Mardys,

both of whom have drug records.

So, I’m thinking we put a team on each...

(phone ringing)

Excuse me.

Hello?

Yeah, I’ll be right there.

Uh... pick a Jake? Any Jake.

Watch them, see who’s coming and going,

bump ’em if you can, I gotta go.

Two, two.

Okay. Can we at least look at them before we choose?

Finders keepers.

So, I just got a call from a doctor Fatima Sharma

at the Kornfeld Forensic Chemistry Institute.

She has the Purple Rain chemical analysis ready,

but she... wants to discuss the results in person.

Great. Can I put Naz on it?

No, no, she asked for you specifically.

Okay. Works for me.

Oh, uh-uh, don’t bother, just... take that one.

Hey, if it’s okay with you,

I’d rather just work in the office today.

What, you don’t want to come to the Jake recce?

What? No, come on, come on, come on! Skelly in the house!

- I... - I’m feeling lucky!

I think I need to talk to Nathan.

Thanks.

Hey. Sorry, what did I miss?

Nothing major, but I’m sure Sam can fill you in on the way,

is it cool? - Yeah, sure.

This Jake Mardy is 66 years old,

do you really think he’s selling Purple Rain online?

I don’t know, you never really can tell

with these over 60s because one time, Judy and I,

we flew to Florida to surprise my grandparents

for their anniversary, I walked with a big bunch

of balloons and guess what?

We crashed their swingers’ party.

I saw a lot of things I shouldn’t have seen.

I had a lot of questions that I got no answers for.

Wow. Wow. (chuckling)

Actually, this...

may sound kind of weird,

just because you said swingers, um...

(inhales deeply)

Sarah wants to take me to a sex club.

You know... I don’t know,

I... I thought that I was settling into this whole

polyamory thing, but like a sex club?

I don’t know, I feel like that’s...

Well, I mean, it’s intimidating, you know?

Sorry, I don’t... you know, do you think I should...

- Okay... - Just answer me,

do you think I should go or no way?

I think... wow. - Yeah.

That there’s a... I...

(chuckling) Okay.

Okay, is it like, um...

is it a good intimidating or a bad intimidating?

Like, you want to go bungee jumping or you want to...

enter a chili dog eating contest?

I don’t know... neither?

- Oh. - Yeah.

Wait, here we go. - Whoa.

What do you want?

You’ve been here for two hours, gawking at my house

like a couple of perverts.

Do you want to? - Yeah.

Okay.

Okay. Uh... Mr. Jake Mardy?

I am Detective Wazowsky, this is Detective Nazeer,

and we just have like a couple of questions for you and...

Yeah, uh...

I’m just gonna get right to it,

have you ever been part of a criminal organization?

I was raised Catholic, otherwise no.

Well, how do you explain your drug charges

from last year?

That’s why you’re here? (chuckling)

Okay, fine.

Last December, I let Alfie Petrello

keep his stash in my shop for all of two hours.

Turns out there was a tracker on the blow.

I got raided,

told the pigs that that was a mix-up.

Who do you think they believed?

Alfie Senior hired hotshot lawyers

and I spent Christmas in the can!

Thanks for reminding me!

Thank you, Mr. Mardy.

- Not our guy. - Not our guy.

Not our guy.

(phone ringing)

Go for Chase.

(Sam): Hey, how’s it going over there with your Jake?

Hard to say, really.

Mid-thirties, big manga fan,

he got a gamer chair with a rumble pack

delivered this morning.

Pretty sweet chair. - Sweet chair.

Okay, well, speaking of sweet,

I was just wondering, are you guys planning on

hitting up MAN-Stock this afternoon?

I hear there’s a chili dog eating contest.

Naz and I are willing to head over

if those dogs are calling.

That’s very generous, Sam.

Wanna eat hot dogs at MAN-Stock?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

The dogs are definitely calling.

Great. Uh... we’re gonna be over there in 20.

Great.

Hot dogs. (chuckling)

Huh?

Thank God,

finally getting up to take a pee.

You try reading Vexed Twins: Gentle Blasphemy

not in one sitting. (sighs)

You can’t stop. - No.

(soft music)

(indistinct chatter)

(phone ringing)

Hello! I’m Doctor Fatima Sharma.

Pronouns she and her.

Please, uh... call me Fatima.

- Please. - Hi there, I’m...

just shadowing DS Greene on this case, but don’t mind me.

Ah, I won’t.

Mentorship is a beautiful thing. - Mm-hmm.

I’m thrilled to be working with you, Nathan.

I attended your lecture on identity theft

at the Northeastern Fraud Conference,

28 months ago. - Okay.

I have an extracurricular passion for fraud prevention

and I found your thoughts on voice biometrics

to be quite, uh...

stirring.

Uh... thank you, it’s nice of you to say.

(clears throat) Uh...

So, Fatima, you’re here to talk about Purple Rain?

I am.

After we received your sample,

our lab conducted an in-depth analysis of the drug

that you’re calling Purple Rain,

which is definitely schedule A.

We’ve also been using international wastewater

analyses to track where new designer drugs

are being used and so far,

Purple Rain has only been found in local wastewater.

So, it’s being made in Canada.

We also identified the precursor chemicals

used to make the drug and as you can see,

all of them are legal in this country.

But it’s not unusual for designer drugs to be made

from legal chemicals, right?

No, but the steps required to make Purple Rain

are very sophisticated.

So, we’re likely looking for someone

with specialized chemistry knowledge?

Correct!

I imagine at the very least, they have a master’s degree,

but probably a PhD. - Oh.

Like me,

first doctor in the family.

Okay!

I don’t want to assume anything about your sexuality,

Nathan, but if you do date women,

are you single, or open to new partners at the moment?

Oh.

Um...

I’m not currently looking for partners of any gender,

but thank you for asking.

Okay, so I got Sara two on Saturday,

that means Sarah one on Sunday.

You got... That’s Tuesday and then Thursday...

Jesus, I don’t know how you keep up.

You know what? I don’t, really.

Like, I’m not good at this.

You know, I’m...

I’m trying to keep them all separate,

but then apparently, I’m supposed to like blend them.

- Wait. - Integrate them.

Shh. Hold up. There he is.

(sighs)

(exhales)

Holy shit! Oh my God!

I know that guy. - What?

That’s Jake Benson. (sigh)

Wow, he...

he finally took his mom’s last name.

He hated his dad. - Who cares?!

Who is Jake Benson?

It’s like my old best friend from high school.

Are you kidding me right now?

You didn’t recognize that from the file?

Well, you had the file and I was on my schedule--

(overlapping arguments) - ...your 40 girlfriends!

And maybe we should focus! Stop it!

Okay.

Are you still friends with him?

No! We had a falling out in like the 11th grade,

I haven’t seen him since high school,

what am I supposed to do now?

I’m going to tell you what you’re supposed to do,

you’re going to tell me everything that you know about him.

Go. - He likes... you know,

all-you-can-eat buffets and two-for-one meals.

Who doesn’t? Be more specific.

Okay! Uh... he likes video games, he hates sauce.

Uh... okay! Uh, he’s a really smart guy, actually,

I mean, he’s really into like Japan and like

ecstasy and stuff like that. Uh... oh!

He loved my neighbour’s koi pond growing up

and had a crush on my sister...

Hi!

I’m Sam from Koi Chicks,

I’m just here for your pond consultation.

- My what? - The pond con...

It’s 37 Harton Street, right?

Yeah, but I didn’t... schedule anything.

Ugh, God, I’m so sorry. Ugh.

I have, like, dyscalculia, so I like invert numbers

of like dates and addresses and normally,

my partner, she does all the consultations.

I... I... I’m sorry.

Sorry, what... what kind of consults?

Uh... koi ponds. I’m a pond installer!

(chuckling) - You know, it’s funny

because I, um...

I’ve wanted a koi pond ever since I was a little kid.

Are you kidding me? (chuckling)

This is just like... weird.

Um... okay, for you,

I’m gonna give you a complimentary consultation,

because we have like, a really great promo

on at the moment. Uh... two halves of a pond

for the price of a half.

So, a full pond for half... price?

That’s exactly what I’m talking about.

Uh... above grounds are 800, 850.

For you, my friend, I’m gonna throw in

a couple of fish. I’m gonna give you my card

so you can think about it.

I don’t have a card, I don’t have a purse.

Screw it, I’m... I’m making bank now,

let’s do it! - Oh my God,

I like your style. Carpe Diem!

Carp ’cause of the...

How’s tomorrow?

(distant sirens)

Detective Nazeer, before you continue

with this case, we need to have a chat about your friend.

First of all, I need to know if Jake Mardy

knows anything about you that could become an issue.

Sure. He knows I got suspended for TP-ing

the portables in grade ten.

So no skeletons?

- No. - Good.

Were you two close?

Did you grow up in the same neighbourhood?

Sort of.

Yeah, he was in a high-rise,

I was on a cul-de-sac a few blocks away.

His family was pretty messed up.

You know, he got caught for selling ecstasy

and that’s when my dad made me stop hanging out with him.

I just... kinda felt like an asshole

for ditching him, you know?

I always hoped he could turn it around.

This was 20 years ago and respectfully,

I don’t think knowing a guy in high school

was a reason to take me off this case.

Friendships make things muddy,

professionally speaking,

you know, whether it be a colleague or a target.

Maybe your loyalty gets in the way.

Maybe you tell him something you shouldn’t,

maybe you make assumptions about his behaviour

that are no longer useful or relevant.

Take it from me,

compartmentalization is a full-time job.

I have no loyalty to this guy.

If he’s dealing this stuff, I want to get him for it.

Fine.

You can, uh, stay in the loop if you want,

do some digging, whatever, but no UC, no surveillance.

Maybe once we get him in,

you can be active in a different way.

Got it. Thank you very much.

And listen, I think I can be very helpful on this case.

I live in hope.

(chuckles)

I love my little aquarium, but I’m thinking that koi,

it’s a bridge too far, even for you.

No, it’s not for me, it’s for work,

which is why I can’t really talk about it.

I just need to learn how to install a koi pond.

I mean, that should be pretty easy and I told my target

that I would build it for him tomorrow,

so we gotta go!

See, I don’t think this is a good idea.

But we’re already here, and plus, you told me

that you wanted me to meet Jen, it’s actually perfect.

- I have said that. - So, what’s going on?

I may have spoken a little bit too soon.

Jen can be... a bit possessive.

She doesn’t want to meet me?

She...

...doesn’t want to meet you.

I’m sorry! Oh, God, she just...

she wants the friendship to be separate, I guess, I...

What? Are you kidding me? I am charming! Look at my cords.

Listen, by the end of this, we’re gonna be braiding

each other’s hair and making plans for pickleball,

I promise you, I will not embarrass you.

(sigh) - Fine.

Let’s go around back.

(rock music playing)

My gosh, this place is beautiful. I can’t...

This is amazing.

Are you kidding me?

Is that a neon mushroom? - Yeah.

Just don’t touch anything. - Look at this dragon.

Look at the horns on this baby.

I am not going home without it.

What?

Jen?

Can I help you?

Ha! (chuckling)

Oh, my gosh! I just want to hug you.

You know what? I’m coming in. It’s happening.

I’m taking a hug, here we go.

This place is so gorgeous!

Sorry that we didn’t call first.

Jen, this is Sam, Sam, this is Jen.

Hello! Oh, my gosh, this one,

she will not shut up about you, you know?

Foster sisters, each other’s rock,

a bond forged in trauma.

Actually, I’m really sorry, that was highly inappropriate.

I just wanted to say to you it is so nice to meet you.

Hi, I’m Sam. - Sam has a favour to ask.

I don’t even know Sam.

Well, any friend of Ro’s...

That means we’re probably gonna be best buds!

A rising tide, it floats all boats.

Mi casa es su casa. She gets it, she knows,

she’s picking up what I’m putting down, right?

What do you need?

Oh, wow, we’re doing it again, okay.

Not a ton of chemistry PhDs with drug records. Big surprise.

Naz, is there any way Jake could be making the drugs?

I mean, you did say he was brilliant.

No, not that kind of brilliant.

The guy failed grade ten chemistry.

(sighs) - Fatima said whoever’s

making this stuff is a genius.

Fatima said! Fatima said!

Maybe Doctor Meet-Cute considers her own skills

a little more rarefied than they actually are.

Naz, this woman was a whack job.

I mean, fraud prevention ain’t nobody’s hobby.

And I mean, nobody finds voice biometrics stirring.

Do you find it stirring?

Kelly, what do you care?

Any more information on Jake Mardy?

Uh... yeah, I mean, no arrests since 2002,

no known associates,

I haven’t been able to find him on social media yet...

but he does own his house

and he has no source of legal income

that I can find.

And his parents, they sure as hell didn’t leave him anything.

Good.

That plus the info from Jody

should be enough for a general warrant.

I’ll go check on that.

Why do you need to know about koi for work? Aren’t you a cop?

I’m a detective.

Like a pet detective?

Not a pet detective.

so I can’t talk about it. And I really would love to talk

If you don’t want to help me learn how to install a koi pond,

I’m sure there’s lots of people who could.

Really? Lots of people?

Okay, maybe not lots, like maybe, like other...

Yeah.

Okay, look, first thing you need to know about koi

is that they’re basically carp’s cousin Tiffany.

Prettier but... - Oh.

Just higher maintenance...

and undeniably overrated. - Okay.

Do you know how to pick one up?

No, I do not. I do not know how.

- Okay. Just get your hands wet. - Sure.

And lift from underneath. - Yeah.

Okay, head facing toward you. - Yes.

- Yep. - Yes.

Open your fingers so you don’t bruise the fins.

- Yes. - Okay, and then the other hand

just holds the back half.

Okay, okay. - Yep.

So, it’s not actually a magical koi,

it needs water to breathe.

Yes. Yeah. Ah! - Okay. Yep.

Yeah.

All right, Sam’s out here, she says she has something

that she wanted to show us.

No way!

(groovy music)

Welcome to the pond, master!

Okay. Koi Chicks, really?

Okay, listen, I know that it’s not the best name,

it’s a bit retro, but it just popped into my head

and this is a bit much,

but it was the only thing big enough in the impound

that you could move a whole pond with.

But how’d you get my silhouette, though?

I’ll tell you how, from memory!

(chuckling)

Okay, that’s really creepy as hell.

I love the jackets. You didn’t happen

to make any extra, did you?

Uh... what do you think?

(sighs)

All right, so we’ll set up the pond.

That should be a breeze.

Then you fondle koi with Jake while I sneak inside,

see if I can find anything to connect Jake

with Purple Rain.

- All right. - Nathan, we all good?

Hello? Nathan?

Hello!

Calm down.

I just gotta get my earpiece in place.

You know the best way to piss someone off?

Tell ’em to calm down.

Or tell them nothing at all, that always works great.

Hey.

Is there a bit of an energy between you two?

Energy?

Romantic energy.

She’s my girlfriend.

Well... my partner...

Partner, part...

Actually, I don’t know what we are right now.

Nice.

I knew there was a vibe.

Just felt it, you know? (phone chimes)

(laughing)

Who are you vibing with right now?

Oh, I have a group chat going with Watts and Swallows.

(chuckling) Just zinger after zinger.

Constant hilarity.

(laughing)

Okay, is this the filter or the pump?

That’s definitely the filter. It’s the pump.

This is the filter? - That’s the pump.

That’s the filter. I don’t know. - Wait, this is the pump?

What’s the manual say? - Well, I lost part of it.

Do you speak Japanese? - Yo, Jake!

Oh, hey.

What the hell is this?

I thought we were having a meeting.

Yeah.

What are you up to?

What’s happenin’? You know?

Like the joke. And then...

and then, Watts replied, "What’s happenin’?"

But way too long, like so many extra letters.

Hey, koi chick.

Nice kicks.

Beetroot. - Yeah, good eye!

You, uh...

must be a sneakerhead?

Yeah, a little bit.

Picked up the Grateful 3s last week.

- Nice. - Now, I just gotta help

my buddy Jake here.

You know, before he met me,

he used to shop at Payless.

- Oh, come on. - Yeah, well...

(chuckling) I was making minimum wage,

so I wasn’t gonna...

spend my paycheque on shoes.

And not everyone has a trust fund.

Yeah, those were the good old days.

Gotta hustle now, right?

Hey. (chuckling)

You what I’m saying?

You got a bathroom I could use?

Yeah, sure.

Just inside, to the right.

Thanks.

All right!

What do you say we name these fish?

Nathan,

you got a shot of the guy who just came in the back?

Yeah, I’m running it right now.

Any idea who he is?

Ah, his name is Krish,

maybe he’s 35,

said they had a meeting.

Working on it.

(tense music)

(sighs)

They’re... awesome! (chuckling)

What do you think we should call them?

Uh... I got one, I got one.

David Schwimmer.

I love it! Yeah, David Schwimmer.

(♪)

(swing music playing)

Kel? What... what’s going on? You okay?

Shh!

Yeah, I’m fine, just trying to get this lobster to turn off!

(swing music playing)

What the hell is that?

(music stops)

(tense music)

Jake, seriously?

Kelly, we got a really bad case of fin rot out here,

it’s terrible, you should come out!

- Jesus, fin rot? Are they okay? - Yeah, yeah, it just

needs to be treated immediately, like, right away.

Kelly! You can come out and see the rotten fin, please!

(toilet flushing)

Hey, did you hear some... some music or...

something like that? - Oh, that was me singing.

(chuckling) Gotta love those old

girl groups, right?

In the bathroom?

Yeah, you got a problem with that?

No, no, no! What...

You gotta do you, right? - Yeah! Yeah, got to.

(sighs) What happened? Everything okay?

Yeah, we just have like, a case of fin rot,

so I just wanted to talk to you about it.

Did you find anything? Oh, my gosh, bit of a mix-up.

I just consulted with my colleague over here.

Guess what? It’s not fin rot, it’s fin nip. Yay.

So that’s some really good news for you.

And this is what we’re gonna do, we’re gonna head out.

Invoice is gonna be in the mail and you enjoy those fish!

Thank you very much, it was lovely meeting you both.

Have a wonderful day! - Yeah.

(Krish): So, you’re picking up at Yoyo’s tonight?

(Jake): Yeah.

Yeah, I’ll be holding by six.

Cool.

Enjoy your fish.

Great, Yoyo’s at six.

- Yeah. What the hell is Yoyo’s? - I have no idea.

Hey, do you want to carry this?

Oh, no. - Okay.

Uh... Yoyo’s. Uh... Yoko, yoddle, yoghurt,

maybe it’s the frozen yoghurt place?

We’ve got a problem.

Apparently, there’s construction,

something about a busker.

Spin team lost him,

but we know Jake has a pickup at six PM

at a place called Yoyo’s,

so if we can figure out what Yoyo’s is...

Could be a yo-yo convention?

Watts and I got flyers at MAN-Stock.

Okay. Um...

there’s also a Yoyo’s Toe and Foot Day-Spa

that has, wait, extremely low ratings.

Oh, gosh! Someone caught hand-foot-and-mouth

disease there. - Oh, the Coxsackie virus.

Coxsackie virus is no joke. I mean, the blisters alone...

Hey, what about Yoyo’s exotic lounge on St. Clair West?

Used to be run by bikers. - Yeah, the strip club.

Yeah... that’s what I heard when I drove by.

Well, I think I remember Jake and I

trying to get in there with fake IDs.

We were like 14, I remember the bouncer laughed at us.

Actually, yeah, no, that does sound about right.

The Jake I know was really into that kind of stuff,

big Hentai fan, you know, anime porn.

I don’t know what that is.

Anyway, I figure that, strip clubs, all of it.

You know? - All right, sounds like a lead.

If we’re going in there, we’re gonna need backup.

I’m gonna send some uniforms over there right away.

Naz, sorry my man. I wish you could come!

(soft music)

(sighs)

(sighs)

(phone chimes)

Hey! Hey! Guys!

Listen, I messed up.

Yoyo’s isn’t a strip club, Yoyo is Jake Mardy’s girlfriend,

Yolanda Pesci, I found her on his Viewpix.

No, he’s not on social, we all looked.

No, it’s under a fake name.

It’s linked to an old e-mail address

that he had in seventh grade,

diahrea85@hotmail.

Where do we find Yoyo?

(sighs) - She is at 86 Marine Drive,

condo 3F. - All right, come on.

Do you think we’ll make it-- - We’ll keep you posted.

(tense music)

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey!

Eyes on Jake, eyes on Jake.

(tires screeching)

Hey, go for Jake! I’ll go for the drugs!

(tires screeching)

(engines revving)

(tires screeching)

(Sam): Guys, Jake’s on the move

(Nathan): All right, guys, we’re arriving on the scene.

(Sam): Heading to the south end of the lot.

Uh... where’s our target?

Travelling in a red car. - Red car, got him.

- Good. - Eyes on Jake.

Trying to cut him off from the back.

Kelly’s on her way too.

Stop! Stop!

Stop! GTPD!

Get up!

Jake Mardy, you’re under arrest!

(cuffs clicking) Come on.

So, Yolanda, how long has Jake Mardy

been putting his drugs in your car?

I told you, I don’t know the guy.

How did he get your keys?

I lost my extra key, maybe he found it.

Okay, Yolanda,

cut the crap because we have photos of the two of you

making out on Viewpix.

Okay, fine, he’s my boyfriend.

I still had no idea he was keeping drugs in my car.

How long have you two been dating?

Six months, but I promise you,

I don’t know anything about this.

Okay. Uh...

Yolanda...

What did you want to be when you grew up?

I don’t know. Uh...

A hand model.

A hand model?

Why not a vet or a rock star?

Maybe even a ballerina?

You know what, as a wise man once said, any dream will do.

The point is it is still not too late for you to go after your dreams.

I think it actually might be.

Is that a foot?

Uh... you know what, let’s just put a pin in it,

I mean, what do kids know? When I was a kid,

I wanted to be a unicorn, so... - How about now?

What are your goals now?

Well, I kinda...

want to become my own Girlboss.

My aunt has been selling Hydra-NutriDerma products

and she made all these new friends

and manifested attending this wicked conference in Vegas.

Okay, so are you really willing to give up on becoming

a Hydra-NutriDerma Girlboss

to rot in prison for a guy that you’ve only known

for six months?

You know what, if you tell us about the operation,

maybe we can manifest a deal for you.

Maybe... you’re right.

(gasps) Maybe this was meant to happen,

to push me to go for it.

Fine, what do you want to know?

Who’s making the drugs?

I don’t know, but you should definitely ask Krish.

- Why? - Because...

he’s the head of The Replicants.

(scoffs)

Huh.

(crickets chirping)

(tense music)

Uh... we just came because...

um, we’re trying to strategize how to approach Jake.

We’re gonna go, we can go... somewhere else.

I want to do it.

It’s just that...

Gloria wants us to...

turn him to use him as an informant.

Yeah, I know.

I talked to her and it’s okay.

Sure.

Hey, buddy.

Nazeer?

Right, yeah, I...

I heard you became a cop.

Wait, did you...

Were you part of all this?

Not really, no. I, uh...

I backed off when I found out it was you.

So, what are you doing here, then?

Well, I’m here to offer you a deal.

Oh.

How kind of you, yeah, a deal...

from my old pal Taai.

The same guy who ghosted me, what, 20 years ago?

Yeah, I’m thinking no, thank you.

Come on, man.

They got you on possession with intent to distribute.

(sighs)

The drugs were in Yolanda’s car,

how was I in possession of them?

You can stop all that,

Yolanda told us everything.

We know that you’re a Replicant.

We know that Krish is your boss.

We know that you’ve been distributing Purple Rain

through an online chat room,

and we know that that system’s been shut down.

What we don’t know...

is how big this thing is,

or who’s making the drugs.

If you cooperate,

I can patch you out as a confidential informant

and you can help us get Krish.

Get the manufacturer,

bring the whole thing down. (chuckling)

Isn’t it ironic?

Oh my God, dude.

The original snitch...

...wants to turn me into a snitch?

I mean, seriously, that’s messed up.

How am I a snitch?

You’re the whole reason I got expelled!

Kicked out of Humberside for selling E.

Come on.

The principal said you told her.

So, I got shit canned.

I didn’t tell them anything.

Jake, look at me, I...

I didn’t tell her anything.

If she told you that I did, it’s... just to get you to talk.

It’s one of the oldest tricks in the book.

(Sam): This must be so hard on Naz.

Naz will be fine. You know, we got a...

Replicant in custody, a possible CI

and a trunk full of Purple Rain off the street.

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess.

Just...

(Kelly): What if they stayed friends?

Maybe Jake wouldn’t be in this situation.

Just one misunderstanding.

Just one.

They never speak again.

And then,

it’s like their lives diverge forever.

(♪)

Yo! Sarah! Hey! Hold up.

Hey, what’s going on?

Listen, uh... I’m good for Saturday.

What?

Oh... No, that’s...

That’s fine, I...

I didn’t mean to put any pressure on you at all.

I...

I really want to be able to talk about things, okay?

Because when you don’t talk about things

is when everything goes to shit

and I don’t want that to happen, all right?

You want to go do this thing?

I want to know about it,

I want to even try it... maybe.

I’m not saying that I’m gonna...

love it or anything,

but you know what I mean? (chuckling)

I... I want to try.

Okay.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

Okay. (laughing)

Okay.

(sigh of relief)

To your work win.

To you.

Mmm.

And Jen, she’s great, your friend.

Yay, Jen!

It’s okay, Sam.

Like, I love Jen, but she can be a bit of a bitch.

You said it. (chuckling)

Uh... yeah, I mean, that’s why all my friends

in high school were terrified of her

and we always had this weirdly compartmentalized friendship.

Well, I think it’s...

you know, I think it’s okay

to keep things separate, sometimes.

Don’t worry, I’m not gonna make you two hang out.

No, I do mean that, I think it’s good to have space,

you know, be different versions of ourselves

with different people. - That’s true.

Sometimes with Jen, I...

it’s like I’m right back in high school.

It’s weird that you should mention that.

Uh... one of my coworkers, another detective,

was best buds in high school

with our koi-loving drug dealer.

Seriously? - Yeah.

20 years later, they still know

how to get under each other’s skin.

I guess you just can’t shake that type of friendship.

Well, that’s why it’s good to have a friendship

without baggage for a change.

Cheers. - Cheers.

Let’s down it. - Mmm.

(chuckling)

(door opens)

(soft music)

Can I get you anything?

Um... a beer would be nice, if you got it.

What you cooking?

Fish chowder.

Please.

(bottle opening)

Look, Nathan, you’re right.

I am petrified.

I’ve been gone for eight months and...

(sighs)

You and I have barely

spent any time together,

and I don’t know what you’re thinking,

I don’t know how you’re feeling.

I think I’ve been pretty clear how I’m feeling.

Yeah... you’re right, you have.

Then, I got insecure about...

your ex and...

You know, I was thinking maybe you thought I wasn’t

living up to...

whatever you thought I should be, I don’t know.

Maybe that I was super annoying

or... arrogant

or so difficult,

never thinking about anybody but yourself, Kelly Marie Duff.

Okay, I don’t think you’re difficult,

except when you’re not talking to me,

but I’ve never thought,

said or felt any of that other stuff.

Well...

That’s what my mother told me every night of my life.

Well, the nights when she was there, which...

was barely ever.

Me and Karina, raising four little kids.

I was a kid practically myself,

I was like 12.

So, in the end,

I thought that the lone wolf was the best way to go.

Kelly.

I’m sorry.

Nathan.

I love you.

So much.

With every part of me.

And you’re a good man.

(Kelly sighs)

You’re like the best relationship I’ve ever been in.

And all I want,

all I want is...

...just to be with you.

And I want to stop.

I want to stop playing these games,

I want to stop playing defence and being so stupid.

Okay, that’s okay.

Let’s do that.

Let’s stop playing games, let’s stop playing defence.

Let’s do this thing. (sighs)

All in.

What? Like...

Yeah, let’s get married.

I’m not kidding.

I don’t want the stupid stuff, okay?

No rings, no parties...

No stupid stuff, no rings, no parties.

Just you and me.

All in.

I’m trying to grow old with you.

(soft music)

(♪)

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