All language subtitles for House.S01E21.BDRip.x265-ION265

He is not sick.

Dr. Riley is throwing up.
He obviously can't lecture.

You witnessed the spew or
do you just have his word for it?

I think I'm coming down
with a little bit of the clap.

I may have to go home for a few days.

Dr. Riley doesn't have
a history of lying to me.

You said this is the fifth time
he's missed a class this year.

Either he's dying or he's lying.

I'll give you two hours off
clinic duty.

Fine. I'll have Cameron do it.
She loves inspiring the inspired.

You'll do it.

Why is it always me?

Because the world hates you.

Or because it's a class on diagnostics.

Pick whichever reason feeds
your narcissism better.

I'm not doing it.

You're supposed to stop me.
Renegotiate.

And you were supposed
to keep on walking.

Sorry. I guess we both screwed up.
Go on. Do it again.

I'll do the lecture
for four hours off clinic.

Two. I know you'd rather spend
a couple of hours

listening to yourself
than listening to patients.

Class starts in 20 minutes.

Dr. House, there's a patient.

I'm outta here. Take it up with cuddy.

Stacy: Greg.

Hi, Stacy.

How you doing?

How am I doing?

Well, the last five years
have been like...

You ever see those
"girls gone wild" videos?

Your life's been like that, or your
life's been spent watching them?

I have missed you.

Is that why you're here?

I need your help.

Who am I looking at?

My husband.

Who is suffering abdominal pain
and fainting spells.

No sign of tumors, no vasculitis.

Could be indigestion.

Or maybe a kidney stone.

Little one can pack a lot of wallop.

Did you think
I wasn't going to get married?

Not to someone so poorly endowed.

This guy's pancreas is pathetic.

There is no kidney stone,
no indigestion.

Three hospitals, five doctors.
Not one of them found anything.

Maybe there's nothing to be found.

Right. You suddenly trust doctors,

love puppies
and long walks in the rain.

Walks are out.

I was around you long enough to know
when something's not right.

Mark's had personality changes.

He's acting strange, disconnected.

Interesting.

Means there's
either a neurological component,

or he's having an affair.

No affair. No nothing. He's sick.

I know you're not too busy.
You avoid work like the plague.

Unless it actually is the plague.

I'm asking you a favor.

I'm not too busy.

But I'm not sure I want him to live.

It's good seeing you again.

Three guys walk into a clinic.

Their legs hurt.
What's wrong with them?

I'm not gonna like you, am I?

The most likely cause of leg pain is
muscle strain.

Apply heat and rest affected areas.

Statistically, you're right. Very good.

My experience, over half of leg pain is
musculoskeletal,

generally from excessive exercise,

12 percent is varicose veins
brought on by pregnancy,

and most of the rest is the result of
vehicular accidents.

I said three people. That's six legs.

So you've got three hurtjogging,

two in collisions,
and one of the legs is pregnant.

What were they doing
when pain presented?

I have no idea.

You didn't ask?
You didn't take a history?

Of course. But all that told us is
what they said happened.

Person a, farmer,
says he was fixing a fence.

House: Tightness in the ankle,
loss of muscle control.

Person b, volleyball practice.

Coach figured it was a pulled muscle.

And c,
we've got Carmen electra golfing.

Yes!

Whoa. You treated
the "baywatch" chick?

The "baywatch" thespian. And no.

I gotta disguise the identity of
each of the patients,

and I got tired of using
the middle-aged man.

Carmen seemed like
a pleasant alternative.

Also, she's apparently
quite the golfer.

In less than two hours,
one of these three

will be tossed out of
the hospital because

they were faking it to score narcotics,

and one will be very close to death.

Any guesses on which is which?

Okay, I say we start with the farmer.

Did you hike to the fence, and how far?

Yes. It's about a half a mile
from my farmhouse.

And where is the pain localized?

It started just above my ankle,
and it's radiating up.

So, what should we do first?

Family history?

Indicative of leg pain?
That's a very short list.

Any history of bone cancer,
osteogenesis imperfecta

or multiple myeloma?

Could be a blood issue.

We should run a cbc and a d-dimer.

And get an mri.

Mri or a pet scan?

If the problem's vascular,
he's better off...

Sorry. Thanks for playing.

Patient's dead. You killed him.

We had no time to run any tests.
There was nothing we could do.

You had time to look at the leg.

I thought we were starting with
the farmer's case first.

We are.
But if we're gonna look at a leg...

I need you to take off your pants.

Puncture.

Female student: Snake bite.

That would be my guess.

Farmer didn't know
he'd been bitten by a snake?

House: That's what he said.

Sudden shooting pain, tall grass.

Never saw a thing.

What kind of snake?

You want me to tell you
what kind of snake it was

from the shape of the hole in the leg?

Well, how are we supposed to know
what kind of antivenom to use

if we don't know
what kind of snake it is?

Oh, there are people
to find those things out.

Shouldn't we wait for
the humane society or something?

Guy might only have a couple of hours.

And while we wait for
the humane society to show up,

let's say we check in
on the volleyball player.

You have tendinitis.

Female student:
How old is this person?

I mean,
it's not really a 40-year-old man

on a girls' volleyball team, right?

It's a leg. A leg is a leg is a leg.

Well, I was just worried that...

Would you worry about her more
if she was younger?

Well, obviously, we should care about
all our patients, no matter what age...

Yeah, right.

I saw the way
you were looking at Carmen.

She's mine. Stay away.

Would you operate on your mother?

Of course not.

I'd be too nervous.
Couldn't be objective.

Then why are you so anxious to treat
every patient like they're family?

The actual patient is 16.

Here's what happens
when doctors care too much.

I need to know everything about you.

Cameron: Iwent back
three generations.

No history of cancer, Parkinson's
or any other degenerative condition,

but there's this boy at school,
and he's on the boys' volleyball team

and they made out at a party,
and now he won't call her back.

And this friend of hers at school

said this boy didn't like her
and never did.

You got all this
from an examination of the knee?

I think she's depressed.

She doesn't have tendinitis?

She has tendinitis.

She's depressed about
having tendinitis?

She's depressed for the same reason
that she has tendinitis.

- Not the boy?
- No, the boy's a jerk.

She knows that,
and yet she's depressed.

I found a nodule.

Ah.

Problems with the thyroid gland
causes depressed mental state,

can cause inflammation of the tendons.

I'll run the tests.

So because she took
such an extreme interest,

she found out that the person
had a thyroid condition.

No. Because she took such an interest,
she discovered a tiny nodule,

which in reality signified nothing,
but gave us no choice

but to put a person with tendinitis
through an expensive and painful test.

Here's how a well-adjusted doctor
handles a case.

Can I put my pants back on now?

I'd rather you didn't.

Which Carmen electra is this?

The first one, the golfer.

Then why isn't she wearing pants?

You have decreased reflexes
in your patellar tendon.

Anyone?

Slipped disc.

Could be. How bad does it hurt?

It hurts really, really bad.

Yeah?

It doesn't seem real.
Is she the one faking?

Oh, for god's sake.
She's here to play into my fantasy,

not 'cause she's Meryl Streep.

Fine.

What the hell is wrong with me!

Do something!

Too much pain to be a slipped disc.

Could be herniated
and impinging the nerve root.

Or it could be referred pain
from his groin.

Sir, are you getting pain
anywhere else?

He's curling. It's not the back.

- Sir, where are you getting pain?
- Help me!

He's not gonna tell us anything
if we don't get him out of pain.

Give him 50 milligrams of demerol.

We have no history.
He could be allergic.

What do I do?

We can't diagnose him
while he screams.

Better than killing him
with painkillers.

Apparently, he's not allergic.

Thank you. I feel a lot better now.

We screwed up.

No. You did exactly
what his attending did.

Male student: And that was
the proper way to handle the case?

Yeah.

The guy used him as a dealer.

You're gonna see a lot of drug-seeking
behavior in your practice.

And there's a reason. It works.

Meanwhile, back on the farm...

Yeah, timber rattlesnake.

Four vials of the crofab antivenom.

Hey, how you doing?

- All right.
- Thank you.

Cameron: This will start making
you feel better really fast.

Cameron: He's having
an allergic reaction. Bag.

Paddles and epi.

His heart's fine.
It's not gonna stay that way.

Paddles!

What say we take five,
get some coffee, go pee.

You didn't think
she was gonna get married?

She asked me the same question.

And what? You're not gonna treat him?

There's probably nothing wrong
with him.

Oh, sure, that makes sense.

She's just using
the old sick-husband routine

as an excuse
to get back in touch with you.

You think this is easy for her?

The only reason she'd be anywhere
near you is if she was desperate.

So I should help her
because she hates me?

She doesn't hate you. She loves you.

She just can't stand to be around you.

Dr. House,
it's been almost six minutes.

Found him.

The volleyball player

was responding to
the anti-inflammatories

as you'd expect
in a case of tendinitis.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

What about the snake-bite guy?

I don't really care
about the volleyball player.

What if I told you the volleyball
player had a sudden massive stroke?

- Really?

But that would make you interested,
right?

What if her t4 came back low?

It's not quite as interesting,

but it has the benefit of being true.

You said the thyroid biopsy
was a wasted test.

No, I didn't. I said
she put a person with tendinitis

through an expensive and painful test.

Apparently, the patient had tendinitis
and a thyroid condition.

We're gonna start you on thyroxine.

It'll make you feel better
and level your moods.

Thank you.

So that's it?

You were right the first time.

Snake-bite guy's way more interesting.

Gross, actually.

Foreman: The patient
responded to epinephrine,

and the allergic reaction was arrested.

Unfortunately, the patient
continues to deteriorate.

Maybe the snake wrangler was wrong
about the type we caught.

He faxed us a venom test.

Confirmed. It's a timber rattlesnake.

No, it's not. Notice the volume?

I skimmed over that
and the gender and the coloring.

Jumped right to the name of the snake.

Two hundred milligrams.

Our guy got bit
less than four hours ago.

There's no way a snake regenerates
that much venom that quickly.

We're supposed to know how fast
snakes make their venom?

Unless you've got a patient bit by one.
Then it might be helpful.

So what do we do now?

He must have been bitten
by a different snake.

We go back and find it.

Or you go online, and you find

there's only three poisonous snakes
common in New Jersey,

the copperhead,
timber rattler and the coral.

Copperhead and timber rattler
both respond

to the antivenoms we gave the guy.

So we give him the antivenom
for the other one.

Is that a question?

Well, we can't just blindly give him
another antivenom,

especially after the first one
almost killed him.

You said only three types of

poisonous snakes
commonly found in New Jersey.

Well, what if this is an uncommon one?

Very good.

We gotta find the right snake.

No need.
Odds are by the time you get back,

the autopsy results will tell you
what kind of snake it was.

But you said...

So we do give him the antivenom
for the other one?

Again, was that a question?
I asked what you would do.

It seems unfair for you to ask me
what you would do.

Who gives the guy the other antivenom?

And who goes looking for the snake?

I assume that one choice kills him,
the other one saves him.

That's usually the way it works
at the leg-turning-black stage.

So half of us killed him,
and half of us saved his life.

- Yeah.
- We can't be blamed...

I'm sure this goes against everything
you've been taught,

but right and wrong do exist.

Just because you don't know
what the right answer is,

maybe there's even no way you could
know what the right answer is,

doesn't make your answer right
or even okay.

It's much simpler than that.

It's just plain wrong.

We gave the guy the antivenom.

What if I'm allergic again?

That's why these people are here.

If you have a reaction, we're ready to
do whatever's necessary

to ensure your aiwvays stay open
and your heart keeps beating.

My wife's on her way in.
Can't this wait?

I'm sorry. It can't.

It hurts again.

Female student: He came back?

On average, drug addicts are stupid.

I'd call the cops.

Good for you.

A lot of doctors wouldn't risk
their careers on a hunch.

It's not a hunch. I mean,
I know he wants drugs.

Well, even drug addicts get sick.

Actually, for some reason,

they tend to get sick more often
than non-drug addicts.

Luckily,
you don't have to play your hunch.

There's a faster way.

Actually, there are several.

My preference is urine testing.

But you already know
he has drugs in his system.

That's not what I'm testing for.

We're gonna put this hard rubber tube

up your urethra and into your bladder.

It may be a little uncomfortable.

Shouldn't I be getting
some sort of anesthetic?

We're concerned about
allergic reactions today.

If the guy can handle
a rod in his penis

for half an hour, he's really sick.

Or he's really jonesing.

There's easier ways
to get a hold of drugs.

Other hospitals, for example.

The volleyball player
is not responding to treatment.

At least we think it's not working

on account of the fact
that she's getting worse.

Can you still hear me?

A little!

Not really!

Well, if you can't hear me,
how do you know what I asked?

I'm sorry. What did I do?

I don't know. It really hurts.

I promise to be very careful.

Susan...

Not her real name!

Susan, I barely touched you.

- It hurts so much!
- I'm sorry.

I have to get this blood. Just hold on.

Hypersensitivity to touch.

Chase: Her calcium up?

Lab over 16.

Question is why. Likely suspects?

Parathyroid adenoma.

- Kidney problems.
- Vit d intoxication.

- Hyperthyroid.
- Caused by our treatment?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Can you please slow down?

The adenoma is most likely.

Check her pth,
phosphorus and ionized calcium.

And do a technetium sestamibi.

Okay, that's enough
about the volleyball player.

What's up with the farmer?

What farmer?

Snake-bite guy.

Oh, right, you guys
don't know about him.

He doesn't get bitten
until three months

after we treat the volleyball player.

Luckily, it's been well-established
that time is not a fixed construct.

His condition's not improving.
Double the dosage.

Already did.

There's another antivenom.
It's not as effective...

Already tried it.

The first stuff,
the stuff he was allergic to.

Gave it to him with high-dose steroids.

Nothing's working.

What does it all mean?

Wrong snake?

We tried every other antivenom we had.

We're too late?

Yep. He's dying. His wife's here.

Finally found a babysitter.

Who wants to let them know?

Actually, I'm kidding.

He's not dying?

Oh, yeah, he's dying,
but there's no wife and kid,

which is great.

Makes the breaking-the-news thing
way easier.

Oh, yeah. One more piece of news.

The drug addict is peeing blood.

How do they teach you how to tell
someone that they're dying?

It's kind of like teaching architects

how to explain
why their building fell down.

Do you role-play and stuff?

Yeah. One of us gives the bad news,
and one of us gets the bad news.

What do you have to do to get an a in
you're-dying 101?

They grade you on
gentleness and supportiveness?

Is there a scale
for measuring compassion?

This buddy of mine,

I gotta give him 10 bucks every time
someone says thank you.

Imagine that. This guy's so good,

people thank him for telling them
hat they're dying.

Needs brown.

I don't get thanked that often.

You're dying.

In a few hours.

There's nothing we can do
except deal with the pain.

Well, I need to go home.

You're not going home.

But my dog.
What will happen to my dog?

Her neck looks clean. No adenoma.

Wait, wait, wait. The guy's dying,

and all he cares about is his dog?

Any of you guys go the dog route
in your improv sessions?

It's a basic truth of the human
condition that everybody lies.

The only variable is about what.

The great thing about telling someone
they're dying

is that it tends
to focus their priorities.

You find out what matters to them,

what they're willing to die for.

What they're willing to lie for.

You must have a neighbor who can...

Neighbors don't like him.

So the humane society will take him in
and find him a home.

No, they won't.

Yeah, but maybe, maybe my aunt...

It wasn't a snakebite, was it?

I said I don't remember being bit.

Sure you do. Just not by a snake.

I assume that cujo bit one of
your neighbors a while back.

You tell me that he bit you,
and I gotta report it.

Cujo's got a record. He gets the chair.

The good news is you mightjust live.

The bad news is your dog's gonna die.

Guy risked his life to save this thing?

I'll hold him. You swab the mouth.

I think I've got a better grip here.

You go for the mouth.

All right. I'm odds.

Are you serious?

Come on, one, two, three!

Damn.

I don't care if he's scratching
your nads off, you don't let go.

Just do it!

I say we let the guy die.

I got his head. Just do it.

Got it.

What would you call that?

It's tea-colored, right?

The guy who we thought
was just after the drugs...

What's the differential diagnosis
for urine that's tea-colored?

Female student: Kidney stone.

Kidney stones would cause what?

Blood in urine.

- What color is your pee?
- Yellow.

- What color is your blood?
- Red.

- What colors did I use?
- Red, yellow and brown.

And brown. What causes brown?

Waste.

Which means the kidneys
are shutting down. Why?

- Trauma.
- None that his history would indicate.

Could be damage done
by the self-injection of the demerol.

- Treatment?
- Heat and rest...

Other possible causes?

Infection.

Start him on antibiotics. What else?

Come on! Come on!

I don't know.

You're useless,
but at least you know it.

Blood tests show elevated creatine
kinase. What does that tell you?

The trauma diagnosis was right.

He takes it easy for a few days,
he'll be fine.

You sure?

The elevated ck rules out infection.

You know what's worse than useless?

Useless and oblivious.

What are they missing?

You know, it's kind of hard to think
when you're in our face like...

Yeah? You think it's gonna be easier

when you got a real patient
really dying?

What are you missing?

Cameron: Muscle death.

Not your case.

Nothing wrong with a consult.

Dying muscle leaks myoglobin.
It's toxic to the kidneys.

Brilliant.

House: Mri his leg.
See what's killing it.

Why is the girl getting the mri?

Because the neck scan
revealed nothing,

and her doctor's way more obsessive
than she thinks she is.

But you said the guy needed the mri.

Because Dr. Cameron back there
said muscle death.

Not one of you said it.

Not one of this guy's doctors said it.

They gave him bed rest and antibiotics,
just like you guys would have.

Did he get better?

- How long...
- Three days.

It is in the nature of medicine that
you are gonna screw up.

You are gonna kill someone.

If you can't handle that reality,
pick another profession.

Or finish medical school and teach.

Three days

before they thought
it might have been muscle death?

No, three days before the patient

suggested
it might have been muscle death.

The mri revealed an osteosarcoma.

A cancerous tumor on your femur.

It needs to be removed surgically.

With chemo, she has an excellent
chance of survival.

But I have to warn you, depending on

how large the tumor is
and how ingrained it is,

the surgeon may need to
amputate your leg.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

Dogs' mouths are pretty filthy,
but they have natural antibodies

to fight off most of the stuff.
We don't.

That's why dog bites can be so nasty.

The lab tests of your dog's saliva
revealed a type of strep bacteria.

It's commonly known as
the flesh-eating disease.

We'll need to operate immediately to
remove the damaged tissue.

We may need to remove the leg.

The mri revealed a problem.

No kidding.

I'm sorry none of your doctors
found it earlier.

I am personally gonna oversee
your treatment from now on.

You're gonna cut me open, aren't you?

We may need to remove the leg.

His mri showed that the leg pain
wasn't caused by the self-injection.

It wasn't caused by an infection.

It was an aneurysm that clotted,
leading to an infarction.

My god, you were right. It's house.

Cuddy: We have to do the surgery.

The necrotic tissue has to be removed.

If there's too much...

I don't care what you find.

It may become necessary
in order to save your life.

I like my leg.

I've had it for as long as
I can remember.

Honey, I love your leg
as much as you do.

They're not cutting it off.

The patient made the right choice.

Tell a surgeon
that it's okay to cut a leg off,

and he's gonna spend the night
polishing his good hacksaw.

Right. Surgeons could care less
about saving limbs.

Of course they care about
their patients,

they just care about themselves more,

which is not an unreasonable position.

Trying to maximize the tissue you save

also maximizes the chances of
something going wrong,

which means
you've gotta be extra careful,

which is such a pain in the ass.

Amazing advances have been made.

Kids with prosthetic legs are running
the 100-meter dash in 12 seconds.

Yeah, they're just not as pretty.

Do a bypass. Restore the circulation.

Amputation is safer.

For you or me?

The blockage of blood flow...

Four-day blockage.

Yes. It caused muscle cell death.

When those cells die, they release
cytokines and potassium.

And if you restore the blood flow
instead of just lopping it all off,

then all that crap gets washed back
into my system.

The cytokines could cause
organ failure.

The potassium could cause
cardiac arrest.

On the other hand, I may just get
the use of my leg back.

The postoperative pain alone...

I'll get through it.

House: I understand the risks.
You're in the clear.

Go schedule an or.

God, you're an idiot.

I think I'm more of a jerk.

I'm not being glib,
and I'm not being cute.

I don't want you to kill yourself.

I'm not gonna die.

I feel completely reassured.

Woman: More suction.

Man: Inserting now.

They gotta up the morphine.

Doctors say they can't.

Doctors who recommended
bed rest and antibiotics.

They screwed up. It doesn't mean
they're wrong this time.

Sure doesn't mean they're right.

Morphine will kill you.

I can handle it.

You're in pain.
You're not thinking right.

That's why I need the damn morphine!

Okay. I'll talk to them.

Oh, my god. How much longer is
the pain gonna last?

It depends on how much
muscle cell death there was.

He could be right.
He could come out of this

with almost full use of his leg.

He could be in pain
for the rest of his life.

There's a third option, surgically.

A middle ground between
what we did and amputation.

He's not big on middle ground.

Yeah.

Nurse.

Nurse.

I need more calcium gluconate.

You just had five mls.

The qrs is getting wider.
My potassium is rising.

I'll talk to your doctor.

Well, you better make it fast,

'cause I'm about to go into
cardiac arrest.

You give me the dose,
or I go into wide complex tachycardia.

I could get in trouble.

Listen, it's not a narcotic!

I'm not looking for a buzz.

You got about 20 seconds.

I was wrong.

What do you got?

Wide complex tachycardia.

- Who diagnosed...
- He did.

- Defibrillator.
- Paddles.

Charge. Clear.

The patient was technically dead
for over a minute.

He's back.

Wilson: Do you think he was dead?

Do you think
those experiences were real?

Define "real."

They were real experiences.

What they meant...

Personally, I choose to believe

that the white light
people sometimes see,

the visions this patient saw,

they're all just chemical reactions

that take place
while the brain shuts down.

You choose to believe that?

There's no conclusive science.

My choice has no practical relevance
to my life.

I choose the outcome
I find more comforting.

You find it more comforting to believe
that this is it?

I find it more comforting to believe
that this isn't simply a test.

How bad is the pain right now?

It's bad.

It's not getting any better.

If you were right,
the pain would be subsiding.

You'd be getting better.

It's just taking longer.

No, it's not.

We've gotta let them cut the leg off.

It's my leg. It's my life.

Would you give up your leg
to save my life?

Of course I would.

Then why do you think your life is
worth less than mine?

If this were any other patient,

what would you tell them to do?

I would say it's their choice.

For... not a chance.

You'd browbeat them
until they made the choice

you knew was right.

You'd shove it in their face
that it's just a damn leg.

You don't think you deserve to live?

You don't think
you deserve to be happy?

Now let them cut off your leg.

I can't. I can't.

I'm sorry.

The pain alone is gonna kill you.

I know. I know.

I need you to talk to the doctor.

He change his mind?

He's asked to be put in
a chemically-induced coma

so that he can sleep through
the worst part of the pain.

We can do that.

What happens after he's in the coma?

We'll obviously monitor
his condition closely,

and if he can get through
the next 48 hours

without another cardiac incident...

I meant, I'm his health-care proxy.

I get to make medical decisions for him
if he's not able to.

You should talk to him about
what he wants to do.

I know what he wants,
but if he's out, it's my call, right?

You'll be out in less than a minute.

Thank you.

Hey.

Hey.

I'll see you when I wake up.

We'll go golfing.

I love you.

I love you, too.

I'm sorry.

You've got nothing to be sorry about.

The middle ground
you were talking about...

We go in, take out the dead muscle.

There's still some risk of
reperfusion injury, but...

Give me the forms you need signed.

You're saving his life.

He won't see it that way.

Because of the extent of
the muscle removed,

the utility of the patient's leg
was severely compromised.

Because of the time delay
in making the diagnosis,

the patient continues to experience
chronic pain.

Female student:
She had no right to do that.

She had the proxy.

She knew he didn't want the surgery.

She saved his life.

Well, we don't know that.
Maybe he would've been fine.

It doesn't matter.
It's the patient's call.

The patient's an idiot.

They usually are.

Do you have a buzzer or something?

What time does this class end?

20 minutes ago.

I'm not doing this again.

And this guy is not
the world's greatest dad.

Not even ranked.

Who the hell lets their kids
play with lead-based paint?

That's why he's always sick.

Find him some plastic cups,
and the class is all his again.

Stacy, it's Greg.

I've got an opening in my calendar
for 10:00 tomorrow morning.

Make sure your husband isn't late.