Original subtitles

(cows mooing) (eerie music)

(clanking)

(sloshing)

(clanking)

(engine revs)

(engine chugs)

(sloshing)

(upbeat music)

♪ I can see what's in your eyes

♪ You can hear it in my cries

♪ Now's the time to wash our hands

♪ Of the blood that's on our future plans

♪ We are the mad, the mad

♪ The mad, the mad, the mad

♪ We are the mad, the mad

♪ The mad, the mad, the mad

♪ Come on baby take my hand

♪ Tell me that you understand

♪ The frothing hungry under lies

♪ This woman is my blind desire

♪ We are the mad, the mad

♪ The mad, the mad, the mad

♪ We are the mad, the mad

♪ The mad, the mad, the mad

♪ Darkness

♪ Consuming flesh embrace your soul

♪ You will not remember when

♪ Your sanity

♪ Has reached

♪ The end

♪ Mad, mad, mad, mad, mad

♪ We are the mad, the mad

♪ The mad, the mad, the mad

♪ We are the mad, the mad

♪ The mad, the mad, the mad

♪ We are the mad, the mad

♪ The mad, the mad, the mad

♪ We are the mad, the mad

(horn honking)

- Hey Arlen.

Haven't seen you around here for a while.

How's old Johnny doing?

I see they haven't taken this old bucket

off the road yet huh?

Sounds like it could use a good tuneup.

Well, what the hell do I know right?

(faint growling)

Hey Stevie, another delivery.

- Well look here Chuck--

- Cut it out.

- Hey there Mr. Sutter.

- Change the special will ya?

(suspenseful music)

(faint speaking)

- [Narrator] And all the money goes

to the Hay Ride foundation.

The Hay Ride, the right buy.

(upbeat music)

♪ Tell me that you understand

♪ The frothing hunger I desire

- Hey we listened to your iPod for half a trip--

- See, isn't this quaint?

It's like a little slice of down home charm.

- Maybe they have a pool?

- Free wireless internet.

- I thought we were gonna unplug this week?

Okay, let's go.

- [Girl With Short Black Hair] And that diner,

it's like a post card.

- [Blonde] You don't think maybe it's trying too hard?

- Amy, this place comes highly recommended.

There was just a big piece about it in the Sunday Times.

It's real low bumpkin.

- [Young Male] It's pretty cool.

- [Amy] Whatever.

- Come on honey, let's see if they

have any vacancies.

- Really?

- What?

- I think we should just keep driving.

- I'm not spending one more minute in that car.

I'm gonna get varicose veins.

- You mean they don't have surgery for that?

- Excuse me.

(loud clank)

(country music)

So what Dr. Hunt,

the sign said they have MTV,

the movie channels and pay-per-view,

so I'm cool with whatever.

I mean if you wanna stay here,

I fully support any decision you make.

- Thank you Blake.

- Yeah.

- This is our vacation.

We're supposed to be spontaneous.

You know celebrities stay here.

- Really who?

- Famous ones.

- Awesome!

- [Lady With Short Black Hair] You know, they probably

even have theme rooms.

- Yeah, maybe we can stay in the deliverance suite.

- Honey.

- I just wanna get up to our cottage.

- All right, you know what,

I'm gonna go inside, I'm gonna have a frappuccino.

And when you decide what we're doing,

you can find me.

- Monica.

- A frappuccino sounds bomb.

- Shut up Blake.

- Good job dad.

Hey Depeche Modester,

think you dropped a few bangles back there.

Or you looking for the culture club

you big karma chameleon you?

- Please, just please be nice.

- That was nice.

I don't understand why you're letting

Monica dress you like some teenager.

- It's just for the weekend.

I wanted to indulge her.

Turns it her on.

Sorry!

- Dad!

- Look, it's our vacation too dammit.

Have you seen me with her?

I haven't been this happy in a long time.

- Yeah I see you together and I wanna (imitates vomiting)!

- Cupcake just try okay?

I mean we talked about this didn't we?

- Yeah, and we've also talked about the fact

that I'm not a fucking cupcake.

Make sure you get two rooms!

I wouldn't us all to be squished together

while you and Monica are doing it!

(upbeat banjo)

(loud thud)

Ooh, you're strong.

- So how did it go?

- Good, good.

We're in luck.

A couple of big celebrities just checked out.

- Thanks dad, we'll see you in a bit okay?

- You're gonna need that too.

Whoa, he's going, where ya going?

Come here Blake.

Come on back here.

- Hey.

- Hey.

Where ya going?

- To our room.

- See Amy's got the keys to the girl's room,

you're gonna be bunking down with the boys.

- Dad?!

- Jason?

- How's that for spontaneity?

Blake, help with the bags.

- Okay, well I've already got my bag dad,

so I'll see you later!

Okay bye!

- Hi.

Sorry.

- Just knock next time.

- Now listen,

I am just as upset as you are

about having to share a room.

But it's only for one night.

So let's just try and be civil about it.

Because tomorrow we have access

to a great big cottage with a giant

wrap around cedar deck.

42 inch plasma TV where I can

share a room with your dad

and you and your boyfriend can

sneak off and

- Monica, I don't have to listen to you!

- [Monica] Have sex or do E or X

or whatever it is you two do.

- Okay you're not my mother.

In fact, you're not even my stepmother.

- Not yet anyway.

Your father and I are becoming very close.

- You're just trying to stir things up.

My dad is in love with my mom.

He doesn't love you.

- Amy, your mother is dead.

And there are a lot of things about

your dear old dad that you don't know.

Like just how much he hates your moody attitude.

So I recommend that you be really nice to me.

Because I think you'd be better off

with me on your side.

Are we communicating cupcake?

(loud knocking)

- [Both Women] Come in.

- Good, alone five minutes

and already you're in sync.

How are things going in here?

- Great.

- Great.

Anybody else hungry?

- Yeah.

- Yes.

Why don't you go put on your white tie?

I'm gonna get changed.

I would love to see you in it.

(sizzling) (slow paced music)

- [Narrator] I think I'll have the Cobb salad.

But are the bacon bits real bacon bits

are they fake bacon bits?

- [Waitress] We have both.

- [Narrator] Burger please.

Can I also get a side of cottage cheese?

- Absolutely.

- [Blake] Look at this, you've got food on your menu.

- [Amy] That's gross.

- [Blake] No it's not gross, it's cool.

It's plastic or something, it's glued on.

Oh I got one too!

- Whatever, it sucks.

- Y'all set to order?

- No, we're still waiting for my dad

and his bitch whore girlfriend to get here.

- Give us a minute.

- What are you doing?

(loud zipper) (hard rock music)

(Mr. Hunt breathes heavily)

- Now you can buy me dinner.

(Monica laughs)

- [Mr. Hunt] I didn't see that on the activities list.

- Can I just say something for a second?

I think you're a little hard on Monica,

and your dad, and his whole retro 80's look.

- Can you just be on my side for like

two seconds in your whole life!

- Okay.

- What?!

- What what?

- Why did you just say okay like that?

- Well I mean I like his glasses.

I wouldn't wear them per say,

but I mean he's from the 80's, he's in a band.

- You suck.

- Should go to the cabin you too.

Hello!

Hey Blakester!

Blake o'ramic, give me some of that.

Good?

We just passed two guys in cow suits

dressed like local farmers selling what?

Meat sticks?

They were juggling as well.

We love it, I think this place is totally awesome.

Thank you so much for bringing us here.

What is on the menu.

What is--

- That is adorable.

It's a pretend showcase of someone elses dinner.

- It's amazing, and realistic.

I like the plastic food.

(Blake moans)

Sorry.

- No.

- No I'm sorry.

(sizzling)

- I bet the burger's pretty good from here.

- Dad, since when do you eat red meat?

- Since now.

- You know, I heard that they don't have to have

all natural ingredients for beef to be considered organic.

Like they're all sorts of loopholes in that stuff.

- It's retarded.

- Amy.

- I'm sorry.

That's mentally challenged.

- Hey there.

- Hey, howdy Steve.

- Don't wear it out.

- Wait a second, that is a reference

to Stuttering Steve Rogers the country singer.

- No.

- Okay wait, it's a reference to

bowl-legged Stevey Boy Bratson from the

Carson Family Rodeo.

Remember that?

- Is it just a famous hillbilly name?

- No, my dad was just a big Great Escape fan.

You all set?

- Do you have any specials other than burgers?

- Sure, our down home prefix tonight

are the vegetarian cow patties, rhubarb leaf salad,

whiskey in a jar shake.

That's non-alcoholic.

And for dessert we've alligator pie a la mode.

- [Mr. Hunt] How are those burgers?

- Each fresh today from Creekside Farm

about 10 minutes north of here off exit 17.

- Wow that is fresh.

- I think I'm just gonna have the stuff with the salad.

- You know, I was just gonna say the same thing.

Maybe your father's right, we are in sync.

Light on the dressing on the side, no croutons.

Thank you.

- I'm gonna have the nachos.

- [Waitress] We don't have nachos.

- Burger special.

- Oh yeah all right, burger special.

- Drinks.

- What kind of beer do you have?

- Root beer.

- Root beer maybe.

- Is your house wine local?

- Local yeah, you probably saw the vineyard in the way in.

Off county road nine.

- I'll just have an iced tea, diet.

- Great.

(gurgling)

(ominous music)

(Monica giggles)

- Come on, why are you looking at me like that?

- I'm not looking at you, I'm ignoring you.

- Oh that's very mature.

What, does militant vegetarianism end this year?

- It's not like we're having a street wiener.

- Okay you are what you eat wiener boy.

- Hey, wiener man to you.

- Sorry fellas, we're all out of the burger special.

Just sold the last one.

(sizzling) (suspenseful music)

- [Narrator] Who ate that patty?

It was right here.

I must be losing my mind.

(cows mooing)

(gurgling)

(faint growling)

- Is that a Cornish game hen I saw on the menu?

- [Waitress] Mmm hmm.

- Oh yeah, awesome!

I'll get that too.

- [Waitress] Alrighty then.

(faint growling)

- You know what, I'm really not feeling too well.

I think I'm gonna go lie down.

- You ate too fast.

- You probably should go lie down.

- Yeah, maybe.

- You know, I'm gonna go freshen up.

So I'll check in on her.

- [Mr. Hunt] Should I--

- [Monica] No, no, no, you stay.

- [Narrator] Whiskey bottle shootout!

- Hey you know what Monica, I think I'm fine.

- I thought you had a headache?

- Yeah no actually.

I just really don't wanna be around you guys right now.

- Well I'll only be a minute.

(creaking)

- Well that's the thing though,

I've got the room key

and when I wanna be alone I actually

prefer to be by myself.

- Ugh, get a room.

(dramatic music)

- Amy and I are hanging out.

And I mean she's my lady, you know what I mean?

- Your lady?

- Well I mean Amy's hot.

Like she's cool.

- I'm picking up what you're putting down.

I get you.

Yeah, she's you know.

She's my little angel.

So you think Monica's cool?

- Yeah dude, Monica's a hot bitch.

Meaning if that's okay to say.

- No, there's no problem there.

She is.

She is, just as long as you remember

that she's my hot bitch.

- Yeah I got you.

(low growling)

- You play drums?

- Yeah.

- I was in a band in high school.

It was kind of a post punk goth electronica.

We we're called The Mad.

- Oh that's cool.

What did you play?

- Drums, but it was the rubber peds.

We'd sample in different sounds, different effects.

(imitates drums)

Yeah, it's cool.

You know, when I was in high school

I mean I wasn't exactly the late 60's.

But there was a lot of loving going down.

A lot of free loving.

There was some guys they,

they'd bang anything that moved.

Like ugly, pretty.

Short, fat, it didn't really matter anywhere,

anyone, anytime, they just

bang 'em, bang 'em all.

You're not like that, are you Blake?

I mean I might be wrong,

but if you are

and there's anything you wanna talk about

now's probably a pretty good time.

- No sir, I've got nothing.

- You're selling yourself short.

You've got something.

She wouldn't be with you if you didn't.

You got game Blake, you got game.

(Blake stutters)

- Hey. - Hi.

- Hey.

- Hello.

- Blake was just telling me how much he likes you so far.

- Oh, well the feeling is mutual.

Dessert?

- Yup.

So.

That Arlen Sutter's a weird one huh?

- He's not exactly what I call highly verbal.

- Better not be too hard on him.

Haven't been the same since he sunk

into that terrible depression after Ruth died.

- What she die from again?

- Choked on a bone.

You see his boy Johnny around lately?

- Nope.

- You always kinda had a thing for him didn't you?

- Yeah I guess.

Never really talked to him much though,

he's a couple years ahead of me.

Don't think he ever graduated.

Just sort of vanished.

You have a lighter?

- Huh?

- Oh shit.

I thought we weren't supposed to talk

about boys and sex like that?

You're my parent, not my friend right?

- Yeah right.

(electric guitar solo)

(ominous music)

(cows mooing)

(loud slap)

(man grunts)

- They're going all out to create that down home charm.

Throw a little family feud.

- Excuse me.

Sweetie you wouldn't happen to have any aspirin would ya?

- I do actually.

- Thanks.

- There you go.

- I love your outfit.

- I love yours too. (man yells)

There's two clasps.

Woo!

Why don't you go get the bill.

- That's a good idea.

- Tony, Tony!

Is there a doctor in the house?!

- [Hunt] I'm a doctor.

- Is there a waitress in the house?!

- I'm a waitress!

- Thank God you're here, is there a cot

or some place he can lie down.

- [Waitress] Yeah, yeah in the back.

- [Man In Green Shirt] Tommy can you hear me?

- Did he have any allergies?

- No, no he's only 15.

(rock music)

(man groans)

(loud growling)

- [Blake] Hunt!

- It's a prop.

That'll work.

(salsa music)

(growling)

(glass shattering)

(gunfire)

- Fuck it!

(gunfire)

(moaning)

(loud gunshot)

- Thank you.

- Yeah.

- Monica--

- She's gone dude.

- [Hunt] Well we gotta do something.

- Well get the fuck out of here.

- That's it.

- Through the kitchen!

- [Hunt] Thank you.

- [Blake] What the fuck was that?!

- I don't know I've never seen anything like it.

(fast paced music)

(loud thuds)

(man growling)

Blake, stop, stop, stop!

Stop it, you don't even know what's wrong with these people!

(loud thuds)

Stop.

Blake.

(loud crunch) (Blake screams)

There you go, you just can't go on

killing these people.

- Fucker ate my foot!

- You don't even know what's wrong with them

they're sick.

- You wanna give them a check up?!

- I'm gonna check on Amy.

- Amy! - Amy open up!

(loud banging)

- [Blake] Amy!

Open the door!

Amy, open up please!

- Amy open the door honey!

- Amy!

- Honey!

- [Blake] I'm gonna take it down.

- [Hunt] That's weird.

(growling)

- Fuck it's got her too!

- No, no, no, no, no, it just woke her up.

She's fine.

- What's going on?

- Honey, get dressed. - We gotta get the

- fuck outta here!

- Blake calm down.

- Calm down? - Honey get dressed!

- Umm dude, they ate your bitch!

I don't know what you mean calm down!

- I've been trying to be as hip as I can,

but I gotta draw the line!

You don't use that word to describe my girlfriend.

- Okay, she's not even your ex-girlfriend anymore!

She's a puddle of blood, guts,

that smell like Chanel No. 5!

(growling)

- Dad?!

- I hope you choke on it you flesh eating fucks!

- Guys, what's going on?!

- I need you to get dressed.

I don't have time for your bullshit right now.

- Don't be an asshole.

- I am not being an a hole, I'm being a dad.

Get dressed!

(glass shatters)

(growling)

(slow paced music)

- [Amy] Dad.

- Honey, I need you to fill the bathtub

up about a quarter in okay.

And when you're done with that I want

you to grab all the sheets from the bed,

any cloth you can find.

Anything we can use to keep Blake from talking.

I mean bleeding.

Thanks.

(loud thuds) (growling)

- [Amy] What happened to Monica?

- [Blake] They went too far.

They ate my foot.

- Who's they?

(Blake breathes heavily)

(slow paced solemn music)

(loud thuds) (loud growling)

(loud shattering)

Who's here?

- How's Blake's foot doing?

- You need to tell me what's going on.

- You got your cell phone?

- I think I left it in the car.

- Well a manicure.

I think we need another way out.

Why don't you get Blake.

- Dad that's not my phone!

Mine's a Motorola!

Blake!

Sweetie!

Come on sweetie you've gotta wake up.

Come on. (loud thuds)

Blake, Blake!

Blake.

I wanna have sex.

- Really?

- No, we've gotta get out of here, come on!

(moaning)

(perky music)

- Hello.

Hello is anybody there?

Could you please open this door?

- [Narrator] Who's there?

- Sir I'm a--

- Open the door we need to get into your room!

This is an emergency!

- [Narrator] Are you guys a rock band!

I'm gonna call the front desk!

- Sir I am a doctor and I beseech you

to please open this door.

- I beseech you?

(loud thuds)

(loud crunch) (Blake screams)

- [Narrator] I heard about you guys on the radio.

You're the lead singer, The Doctor.

- All right look, I used to be in a band.

It was a long time ago I'm dressed.

Look it doesn't matter we gotta get out of here!

All right, all of us, right now!

I don't have time to explain.

- We're kinda a little busy in here Mr. Rockstar.

- We are not a rock band.

- [Blake] I play drums.

(loud banging)

- Who's out there?

Your roadies?

- Whatever turns you on you dirty old man,

just don't open that, don't open that door!

(man screams)

(growling)

- Why did I get the fake pitchfork?

- Dad, it's all clear over here.

- Move.

Come on go.

(growling) (glass shattering)

(all three scream)

- [Stevie] Hurry.

- Wait, I still don't even know what we're running from?

- I told you there's no time for this.

- The whole diner went Manson.

- [Narrator] Is there a doctor in the house?

- [Waitress] People eating other people.

Blood everywhere.

Just a bunch a giant freak show.

We're pretty much the only normal ones left.

- See, was that so hard?

- There's a thing.

(loud gunfire)

- Charlie, what took you so long?!

(loud gunfire)

- Come on!

- Can I get a gun?!

- I thought those bastards were NRA.

(loud gunfire)

(Blake screams)

- [Stevie] Get him up!

(cricket chirping)

- I must be too high for this god damn shit.

(beeping)

- What kind of monster locks their phone

with a secret code?

- [Amy] Try 666.

- Don't be ridiculous.

(beeping)

- Hey we're all clear.

- Good, we should be safe for a while.

We got access to food and water.

- [Stevie] How many did you bag?

- Six, you?

- I got three before it jammed.

- Gotta keep Lucy Law.

Gonna make it seven as soon as Tex out there

finishes his clip.

- Look these are people.

We can't go around hunting them.

- Somebody should have told that to them

before they came hunting us.

- I understand this is a horrific situation,

but whatever it is that's making

these people act this way,

I'm sure it's gonna wear off.

What are you doing?!

Amy!

- Oh, it's for medicinal purposes.

- Relax dad, it's not like it's the

first time I've ever smoked pot.

- [Blake] Yeah Dr. Hunt,

I thought you were a rocker right?

(electric guitar solo)

- No, someone's gotta keep their wits.

- Oh I'm feeling pretty sharp.

- All right listen, do you have a television?

A radio?

- No, I don't think we'll get much.

One of them was up there trying to steal the dish.

Shot him down but, it was already pretty wrecked.

(glass shattering)

- Telephone?

- Oh well, see this woman was coming at me

and well, I blew her away.

But I also blew away the only telephone in the diner.

- Great, well I can take pictures with this

but of course can't use it.

- Hey I got the weather channel.

- [Hunt] Well that's a start.

- [Narrator] The forecast for your area

will be broadcast (loud gunshot)

on top of the hour.

- How long do we have to stay in here?

- Hard to say.

I called the cops, we'll see if they show.

- You did call the cops.

- Yeah, right before I blew away the phone.

- [Stevie] Yeah well it's Friday night

so they're probably off getting drunk somewhere.

- Right, you got a vehicle?

- Well those moronic sons of bitches stole my gas.

- What is with these people?

- [Narrator] State authorities have closed

down sections of the major highways

and put up roadblocks on several side roads.

Once again for those of you who are just joining us,

there is an escaped tiger prowling the countryside.

- An escaped tiger, go figure.

- Tiger my ass.

- They probably don't want anyone to pass.

- What, by saying there's a fucking

loose tiger running around?

What the fuck man?!

- All right, all right, now listen first thing first,

we gotta deal with your leg

and then we gotta find out

what the hell is wrong with these people.

- My dad's a doctor. (glass shattering)

- And you two, you have to stop shooting

everyone and everything.

And Amy I need you to not be high right now.

- Yeah.

- I'm serious Amy, I need you to be here with me okay?

Now look if we can finally get our hands

on one of these things, I can inspect 'em

and find out what the hell has infected them.

Maybe we can get to the root of the condition

and I can reverse the process. (loud gunshot)

(everyone laughs)

- Okay okay.

(glass shattering)

If you promise not to ask,

come with me, I've got something to show you.

(hissing)

(Amy gasps)

- [Hunt] Oh Jesus.

- Is this your lady man?

- Yeah that's her.

- I'm sorry I...

- Do me a favor just, hold on.

Can you give me a hand?

- Yeah sure.

- I hated her.

I actually used to wish she was dead all the time.

Your dad must have been pretty young when he had you.

- Charlie's my stepdad.

He's about 15 years younger than my mom.

- Hey you sure you're gonna be okay with this man?

- Monica was always very supportive of my career.

She always talked about wanting to

donate her dead body to science.

She may not have died in vain.

- How about your real mom?

- She died three years ago.

- Sorry.

- She choked on a bone in a restaurant.

- Jason honey.

- Yeah babe.

- Don't butcher me.

How will they ever put me back together for the visitation?

- I'll oversee the procedure personally.

- I love you honey.

You always say the right thing.

I wanna wear the black dress.

- What the off the shoulder with the bias cut?

- The strapless.

- Oh.

- The one that we bought together remember?

- [Hunt] Sure babe.

- [Charlie] Doc.

(loud thud)

- You know, you're really lucky to have

someone in your life that you can actually talk to.

- Yeah, Charlie and I have been through a lot together.

I bet just like you and your dad.

- Yeah, except my dad and I are not friends.

He still treats me like I'm a little kid.

- Well do you act like one?

- No.

(moaning)

- Afraid it's gonna be a closed casket dear.

Well that was a waste of time.

(cows mooing)

- [Blake] Did you hear that?

Somebody's coming.

(ominous music)

- Hey, get back in your car!

- Shh, don't draw attention over here.

(moaning)

(screaming)

- I'm totally freaking out now.

I'm fucking freaking out!

- Shut up Blake!

- Don't be a jackass!

- Fuck you!

- Hey guys, language!

(women yelling over each other)

- Guys language!

- Don't call us bitches!

- Shut the fuck up!

- Kids!

- [Both Men] Shut the fuck up!

- Now everyone settle down.

Now how many of them do you figure out there?

- I didn't count, like six maybe seven.

(moaning)

Plus we've got our buddy on the roof.

Those corpses tell you anything?

- No.

(clanking)

- What the fuck was that?!

- [Amy] I think it's coming from the kitchen.

(clanking) (ominous music)

(loud crunch)

- Jesus Christ.

(gurgling)

- Hey, that looks like Stevie's burger.

I never cooked it.

I was gonna save it til closing.

(sizzling)

- Amy, get me the largest metal bowl you can find.

(loud slap) (Blake screams)

- I can't get it off!

Somebody help!

- Hold your head!

Keep still!

- Move!

- Hold your head!

- Out of the way, out of the way!

(Blake screams)

It has healing properties.

(loud thud)

Did everyone have the burgers?

- Well not you guys and not me.

- I only eat fish.

- What's in your burgers?

- 100% beef.

- Yeah it's local.

We're famous for using organic.

- Local from where?

- Creekside Farm.

- What?

- There was a problem a little while ago

with farmer Sutter's cattle getting sick.

- All right, so you get your beef from farmer Sutter?

- Yeah, but he found some medicine for it on the internet.

- All right, don't you see you just

may have infected everyone with

whatever made the cows sick.

- What?!

But it was all cleared by the US government.

- Well great!

That's wonderful!

It was cleared by the US government!

Are you kidding me?!

'Cause the US government has never tried

to do anything to harm us?!

- All right Blake, calm down.

- Calm down dude?

I'm fucking shot!

A ground beef patty attacked my face!

And I'm gonna break out now 'cause you

poured olive oil on me.

Amy I'm out of here.

(Blake screams)

- Blake don't touch that!

Sit down son!

(Blake grunts)

(growling) (Blake screams)

- [Blake] Help me!

(faint thunder)

(glass shatters)

(everyone screams)

(loud thud)

(eerie music)

(faint banjo)

- Can somebody stop that god damn banjo music?!

(screeching)

We've got to get to Stutters farm

and stop all this stat.

- We should just let the authorities

deal with these zombies.

- What do you mean zombies?

You mean like voodoo?

- They're not hypnotized, they ate that meat.

It turned them into zombies.

- I'm confused.

- Dad, a zombie is a--

- Does a zombie mean dead?

Because I think they're just sick.

- It could mean they're dead.

But sometimes when people get bitten by zombies

or infected, somehow die and then become undead.

- And if you're undead, you're a zombie.

- I don't think these people died

and then became undead.

I think they just became zombies.

- I think you're all misusing the term zombie.

I think they're just like mad cow people.

Dementus carnero humanis.

- Huh?

- I'm a doctor.

- Has anyone who's been bitten then become one?

- Blake was bitten.

- Then he was shot.

- Then he was attacked by a meat patty.

- Then he was decapitated.

- Ah ha!

But he did not become a zombie!

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

True that true that.

- Interesting.

(faint growling)

- Maybe we need to separate the head

from the body to kill them.

- I think it's better if we do.

- Yeah just in case.

- Okay, before we move on,

does anyone have anymore comments or questions

on the subject of zombies?

I don't think we're gonna have a chance to

talk about this again.

I just wanna make sure everyone has had the floor.

We good?

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- All right.

Now let's discuss this farmer Sutter.

What's he like?

What are his habits?

What are his hobbies?

Does he have a girlfriend?

Where does he live?

- He lives out on exit 17.

- He's been zombish for about as long as I've known him,

but I just thought he was a quiet inbred farmer type.

- No.

I hate to put a damper on everything but,

we don't have any kind of way out of here.

(gunshots)

- [Amy] Well, there's one way.

(glass shatters)

- Nice work Amy.

I think I have an idea.

(loud gunfire)

How we doing?

- There's a lot of them out there.

- I know.

But I'm going out there.

I'm gonna distract them.

I'm gonna get the car

and I'm gonna pull around back.

That's what I'm doing.

I'm gonna do that.

Doing that right now.

(glass shatters) (loud gunshot)

- We'll cover you.

- Good idea, thank you.

(faint growling)

Go.

Free shit.

Be the envy of your friends, back home,

or hell.

Hi.

You want one of them?

Nice.

Put that on there.

- He's gonna make it.

- Yeah.

(rock music)

- Got him.

(loud gunshot)

- Charlie!

Dad!

Go to your dad!

Go, go, you need to go help your dad!

Go go!

- Ouch fuck!

- Dad, we gotta help Steve!

(Stevie screams)

- You wanna listen to some music or something?

- I don't care.

(upbeat music)

- Oh my God.

- What?

- This was the song that got me into music.

Check it out, it's both sad and heroic.

It's about identity and

your mom loved it.

I loved it.

It was the anthem of our time.

Oh dear, I mean listen to that.

I mean that is the soft hard

of true warriorship.

Blue wave 80's head fags, they were right.

They knew.

(mumbles)

You can be forceful--

- Dad where are we going?

- I have no idea.

♪ Stand up stand up stand up

- We've gotta do something about this.

- You're right baby.

You know without your honesty,

Blake's stamina

and Steve's loyalty.

Charlie's Pot.

Monica's encouragement, kinky as it was.

We would not be on this journey.

- Well, actually dad we probably wouldn't

be on this journey if you hadn't decided

to stop in at that bed and breakfast to begin with.

- I think that falls under Monica's encouragement.

- You know what I'm thinking?

- [Both] Exit 17.

- Sutters farm.

- They don't fix this dad,

we're gonna feel like shit.

- Man, I'm tired of feeling like shit.

Damn it Amy, I'm not a doctor.

I'm a musician.

(tires screech)

♪ That they

♪ Can't go any further

♪ And that this is

♪ The end of the dream

♪ Live and live

♪ Live for the dream

♪ Stand up stand up stand up

Honey, I don't want the fact

that we ran out of gas to dampen--

- Fuckers!

- I know I know, get it out.

- Assholes!

- I understand, I'm right there with you.

But do you feel what I'm saying?

- God damn! - That we were on the verge

- [Hunt] of something just a little bit.

- Fuck!

(door slams loudly)

(upbeat music)

(singing in foreign language)

- Let's go, cut across here.

- Okay.

- Whoa, hey now.

(loud thud)

Duck honey.

- Did he grab your earring?

- Yeah he nearly pulled the damn thing out.

You woulda liked that though wouldn't you?

- Dad I don't hate your earring--

- It's all right, I should have got rid of it 10 years ago.

(groaning)

- Dad, you called me cupcake.

- I know.

- What did I tell you about calling me cupcake?!

- I know I know, I thought you may have missed that one.

- You have to start treating me like an adult.

Okay, maybe even a friend.

- Alright, fair enough.

You know, I never told you this but,

when your mother was eight weeks old with you

she used to call you little cupcake.

Then when you got bigger, she called you a poundcake.

Then you were a bundt cake.

- Mom did love baking.

- She did.

Point is, when I was a teenager like you

I wouldn't want to be defined by a cupcake

or any kind of insulting diminutive term for that matter.

Let me tell you a little story about my life sweet pea.

(Amy groans)

No, no, let me finish pookie.

Back then, like everyone loved culture club.

I didn't and I wanted to,

I just couldn't get my head around it.

I couldn't figure out what the craze was

but point is when they went bust,

everyone who suddenly liked them,

suddenly pretended that they didn't like 'em.

And the point is, I should of (loud thuds)

trusted my instincts you know?

Never, never, never follow the crowd.

That's the thing that really should (mumbles).

You know what I'm talking about?

- Yeah, I mean I thought I was in love with Blake,

but I was just dating him for all the wrong reasons.

And then when he got attacked by that meat patty,

I just, I just knew it was over.

He wasn't someone I could get old with anymore.

Is that unfair?

- No that's not unfair.

I don't know why it is but we

always wanna find some logical and meaningful

reason why we do the things in our life.

But you know, sometimes it just doesn't

work out that way baby.

(loud thud)

- Yeah dad, I really like your earring.

- Thanks.

(loud thud)

Sometimes I question it.

I know, I know, there are times when

I felt insecure about the earring.

(loud thuds and squishing) (Hunt mumbles)

(faint growling)

Mmm hmm.

- This is the place.

- No way.

Sutters farm, what's this Creekside?

- Yeah Creekside.

That's what she said, Creekside.

- No she said Sutter's Farm.

- No, Sutter is the family, Creekside is the farm.

- Why isn't it Sutter's Farm?

- I don't know.

- Exit 17, Sutter's Farm is what I heard.

- No she said exit 17, Creekside Farm

is where they got their meat from.

- I didn't get any of that Creekside.

- Okay well, look dad.

Creekside Farms.

- All right Nancy Drew.

- It says his name right there, Arlen Sutter.

- Well that's...

If I had a farm I'd call it--

- Let's just go, let's just go check it out.

- Take it easy murder she wrote.

Just saying if I had a farm

I'd call it by my family name.

(faint knocking)

I don't need that.

Hi, are you Johnny?

- Yeah.

- I'm Jason Hunt MD DJ.

I'd like to talk to you about your father.

- Oh you could if I knew where he was.

- I'm sorry.

- My daddy's gone missing.

- What happened to your head?

- Well with all due respect,

I was gonna ask what happen all to you?

- Well I was supposed to go backpacking

two weeks ago with my friend Carey.

She totally bailed on me.

So I ended up going to this place

with my dad this weekend.

- Amy.

Long story.

- Oh my daddy hasn't been himself lately.

He got really angry so...

- Is that bandaid gonna be enough?

- Oh sure, it's just a scrape.

You know these things happen.

You know parents can go crazy sometimes.

- Yeah.

- You know we even got the police combing

the property for him right now.

Do you believe that?

- Yeah that's nuts.

Alright so.

Listen we need to talk to you about

your livestock Johnny.

- Jesus, you know this is the last thing we need.

We were cleared.

- I know, I'm sure this is a bad time

but this is very urgent.

I just wanna ask you a question.

John did you notice that,

has your beef been acting strangely?

- Our beef?

Well you mean our cattle?

- No.

I mean your beef.

- Strangely, you mean strange?

- Strangely.

I think strangely.

Strangely?

- Well when you say strange--

- I think strangely.

- Strangely right?

Strangely, very strangely.

Have you notice it?

- You know what, you just give me a second.

I'll go get changed and I'll go get us a flashlight

and we'll just go out to the barn

and we'll just get down to the bottom of this.

All right?

Okay.

- He seems nice.

- Yeah he seems nice, you're flirting with him.

What are you, making a pass?

- What?!

- I mean Blake's dead what, 20 minutes

and you're flirting with the guy?

- Is it that obvious?

- You're touching him, is your head okay?

Is it all right?

- Can you shut up dad, okay?

- Okay, let's get started.

(buzzing)

Now this farm has been in the family for generations.

And we've received many awards for our livestock,

both locally and internationally.

- I thought the farm was closed down

for a little while there Johnny?

- No, no, no, we just stopped producing

for a short while while we restructured our system.

But that's all that was.

I guess some of these local old timers

like to start spreading rumors when they

don't know what's really going on.

I sure hope the police find daddy.

- He couldn't have gone that far.

- You don't know daddy.

Anywho, it'd become quite a competitive market lately.

And I'm not gonna lie,

there have been some setbacks.

So everyone is resorting to some

kind of tactic to put their farm ahead of the others.

You know, I guess some people just don't play nice.

- Some things are the almighty buck huh?

- Ain't that the truth.

(faint growling)

(Amy screams)

- Oh darling don't be scared.

Now now come on now, come on.

- Sorry, I thought it was something else.

- Oh when daddy and I had to shut

the farm down temporarily I decided to

build a little haunted house

for the kids in the county for Halloween.

- How did that work out for you Johnny?

- Oh they loved it.

Funny enough though, Christmas was our busiest time.

- That's so sweet.

- Oh well I love kids.

- Really?

I'll stay close to you.

- Now I'm scared.

(screeching)

So Johnny did you and your dad

deliver meat to anyplace else today

or from the same batch?

- Oh, well with all due respect doc,

you're talking business talk.

And if you wanna talk business

you need to talk to my daddy.

Wherever he turns up.

- Fair enough Johnny.

Anyone else come and see you today?

- I can't say they did 'cause they didn't.

(loud thud)

(clanking) (screeching)

- [Amy] Oh god what is that smell?!

- Oh honey you just stay put

and I'll go turn on the lights alright?

- [Hunt] Johnny?

- [Amy] Dad don't sound so scared.

Johnny!

- Oh that wasn't scared?

I'll find a light.

Got it.

(buzzing)

(Amy screams)

Shh, it's just meat.

- I guess we found daddy.

- [Hunt] Look out!

- I have to admit, you don't look much like a doctor.

- But I am a doctor.

But I did have an epiphany on the.

Nevermind, listen.

You don't have to do this.

- It's all about image.

Now you should look more like a doctor

if you want people to hire you as a doctor.

- That's a good point.

- Our cattle looked and sounded sick

so everyone kept telling us you gotta destroy your animals.

They're all sick.

Now do you know what that would have done to us financially?

Do ya, huh, do ya?!

- No.

- No?!

- Yes.

- Now you know doc you can't just kill something

before you got time to come up

with a proper diagnosis.

- That's true.

- We gave them that medicine

and the medicine made them better.

And here we are in full operation again.

It's amazing how there's a medicine

for everything nowadays huh?

You gotta love these modern advances.

- But they're not better!

Don't you get it!?

Your meat is making people sick!

- That's just trial and error.

Oh you're so beautiful.

- Really?

- Hey.

- Personally I can't talk to those people.

I didn't eat what they ate.

But daddy and I have been eating the meat

here and there and we're doing just fine.

(loud thud)

(Johnny laughs)

You're too athletic to be a real doctor.

Doc Jacobs can't do that.

Of course he's a podiatrist.

- You don't have to do this.

- Maybe you're not a doctor.

Maybe you're from Spying Hill Farms

and you're here to spy on me.

- That's right, I'm with the Local

Farm Spy Society.

L.

- F.

- F-S-S.

You're under arrest! (ominous music)

- That's more like doc Jacobs.

He moves real slow.

(Amy grunts)

Daddy, I told you not to get involved

in my romantic situations.

(suspenseful music)

(buzzing)

(loud thuds)

How you feeling daddy?

Were you and the doctor here looking

for inside information?

I like her.

Do you like her daddy?

What do you think daddy?

Maybe we should put them in the freezer for now.

I think we got enough here to last for the weekend.

Daddy I see that you're not feeling well.

And that these intruders have upset you.

(screeching)

What's your name?

- Amy.

- Are you all right Amy?

- No!

I'm not all right!

- Now listen Amy, I don't wanna hurt you.

I really don't.

Is there anything I can do for you?

You need anything?

- Well.

You could untie me.

I wouldn't mind getting cleaned up.

(ominous music)

(slow music)

- You sure clean up nice.

- Thanks Johnny.

So, what do you like to do?

- I like to raise cattle.

- Cool.

- Do you like meat?

- No.

I'm a vegetarian.

- I don't think you've had the right meat

prepared the right way.

You know I don't believe all that junk about blood type.

You know, no matter who you are,

and where you're from, age.

Whatever makes us different,

meat is good for you.

It's necessary.

It's a part of life.

I made these meat sticks a few weeks back.

I like to let them age a little before I eat them.

It's like a good wine.

You have such beautiful hair.

- Really?

- Can I touch it?

- Okay!

(ominous music)

(Jason laughs)

(dramatic music)

(old man growls)

- No, no, daddy!

(dramatic music)

(loud thud)

(gurgling)

- I made 'em for you.

- Really?

- Only I didn't know I made 'em for you

because I didn't know you before I made 'em.

That's weird huh?

- I think that's the nicest thing

anybody's ever said to me.

- Johnny, Johnny come in here!

Your daddy needs ya!

- Come on!

(loud screeching)

(rhythmic heartbeat)

Daddy?!

(dramatic music)

- You okay?

What are you wearing?!

- I kinda like it.

- Are you alright daddy?!

Y'all in real deep shit now doc.

Real deep shit.

- Now listen son, you and your father

are very very sick.

There is a chance we might be able to help you.

(loud crunch)

(Johnny screams)

- [Johnny] Daddy no!

- Tough break Johnny.

- That's gonna hurt.

- Our cows are fine now.

Our cattle has never been better.

It's you, all you people that wanna shut us down!

You wanna destroy us.

You don't respect the,

you don't respect the (stutters).

And I won't let you...

(Johnny screams)

(sizzling) (gurgling)

- Like father like son.

- Eaten by their own meat.

(loud sirens)

(loud splash)

- Well now, folks left quite a mess in there.

Y'all lucky to be alive.

- I imagine you guys are gonna take care

of destroying all the cattle now right?

- Yeah, we got some people who are

gonna do just that.

We're gonna round 'em all up,

make sure it gets done right this time.

- What about the big hole in the fence?

- Well, my fella's checked into it

and it doesn't look like any of

them cows got out.

You see, the whole perimeter of this farm

is surrounded with electric fencing.

You have to be some kind of god damn super cows

to get out of here.

Just excuse me.

(loud gunshot)

The area is still teeming with dangerous wildlife.

- Yeah.

So what if they

shipped their meat somewhere else?

- Well, we're gonna take care of that as well.

We were able to divert a package that was

sent out of here yesterday

and we're putting an APB out to make sure

that nobody comes within 10 feet

of any meat that was sent from here

in the past three days.

You know, the two of you sure saved a lot of lives.

I mean this easily could have happened

some place else and a hell of a lot worse to boot.

Nope, the way I see it the both of you

are gonna get a couple of medals for this.

We found these.

Look dangerous don't they?

- They do look heavy.

- So you can make sure it won't happen again?

- Little lady I have absolutely no idea

where they obtained these chemicals.

Hell, they might have got them from the Russians,

but whatever the case,

now that I got my team working on it,

we're gonna locate them, get them all out of circulation.

Damn.

(loud gunshot)

Yup.

Looks like instead of making their cattle better

they was just feeding and mutating the virus.

Craziest damn thing I ever saw.

- Were there any survivors back at the diner?

- Nope.

At least we haven't found anyone anywhere.

I think we pretty much got this

thing here contained.

- So what do we do now?

(loud gunfire)

- If you're feeling well enough,

why don't I run you to town,

you can clean yourselves up

and I'll rustle you up a little breakfast.

How's that grab you?

- That sound good doesn't it?

- Thank you.

So, I guess that's all she wrote.

This looks like our stop.

I know a little place that does a great steak and eggs.

Just kidding.

- Sweetheart, I wanna tell you something.

- You know, it's a damn shame.

'Cause this here farm,

used to be the pride of the whole county.

Oh I'm sorry.

You go ahead and say your piece, I'll just.

- Sweetheart, I know I haven't been the best dad.

I know I haven't been the coolest.

- Dad.

It's okay.

You know I'm really glad

that we got a chance to spend some time together.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- Me too.

This was really special.

- Hug?

- Sweetheart I love you so much.

Do you have any pot?

- What?

- I'd like to smoke a cold one when we get home.

- Dad you don't have to get high with me

to be my friend.

- Amy shhh, I want to.

- I heard that.

(man in suit laughs)

(car engine revs)

(man groans)

(sirens)

(rock music)

♪ I can see what's in your eyes

♪ You can hear it in my cries

♪ Now's the time to wash our hands

♪ Of the blood that's on our future plans

♪ We are the mad, the mad

♪ The mad, the mad, the mad

♪ We are the mad, the mad

♪ The mad, the mad, the mad

♪ Ugh ugh ugh

♪ Come on baby take my hand

♪ Tell me that you understand (loud crash)

(loud horn)

♪ There's squirming 'neath my blinded eyes

♪ We are the mad, the mad

♪ The mad, the mad, the mad

♪ We are the mad, the mad

♪ The mad, the mad, the mad

♪ Falling down the darkest hole

♪ Consuming flesh embrace your soul

♪ You will not remember

♪ When your sanity

♪ Has reached the end

♪ We are the mad, the mad

♪ The mad, the mad, the mad

♪ We are the mad, the mad

♪ The mad, the mad, the mad

♪ We are the mad, the mad

♪ The mad, the mad, the mad

♪ We are the mad, the mad

♪ The mad, the mad, the mad

♪ We are the mad

♪ We are the mad

♪ We are the mad

♪ We are the mad

♪ Mad

♪ We are the mad

♪ Mad

♪ We are the mad

♪ I should soon fall to prey

♪ And though it's hard to die

♪ I shall ask for no pity

♪ No one will pity I

♪ Sadly softly

♪ Into the dark night

♪ It waits for me

♪ It waits for me

♪ Lift my light into glory

♪ For myself and my name

♪ And I die as a stranger

♪ As distant as when I lived

♪ Am I to blame

♪ All my friendships are broken

♪ This implacable foe

♪ Sadly

♪ Softly

♪ Into the dark the night

♪ It waits for me

♪ It