Original subtitles

Once upon a time there was a boy.

He lived in a village that no longer exists...

...in a house that no longer exists...

...on the edge of a field that no longer exists...

...where everything was discovered and everything was possible.

A stick could be a sword.

A pebble could be a diamond.

A tree - a castle.

Once upon a time there was a boy...

...who lived in a house across the field from a girl.

They made up thousands of games.

She was queen and he was king.

They collected the world in small handfuls.

Once upon a time, there was a boy who loved a girl.

And her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering.

He promised her he would never love another girl as long as he lived.

THE HISTORY OF LOVE

Oh! It's open!

The coffee. It's ready shoyn? Are you thinking about her again?

- You haven't made coffee? - Answer my question, did you sleep with her?

It's been 60 years, dummkopf. Time to move on!

Now get your talkers in gear. It's eight a.m., I want mein coffee!

- Did you sleep with her? Yes or no? - Every day the same question! First coffee.

I am your slave? There's coffee downstairs. I bet you did it, you mamzer!

Your stew yesterday tasted like dreck. Shit! I spent the whole night throwing up!

Then don't invite yourself to every meal!

Do you think I like seeing your face and getting only half the food?

I hate sharing! What are you doing?

I'm looking for a sweater. It's freezing in here.

Bandit. I did not create you. You are not my son.

Gay avek! Out! Now! I have to go out.

- Where are you going? - None of your business!

The coffee shop is still downstairs.

I'm old. You're gonna just sit there?

- Have you done this before? - No.

- What made you want to do it? - You want I should write this down?

No, I'm just curious.

I decided to be looked at every day for at least one hour.

It's the only medicine against catching death.

Old people nobody looks at them. You'll see if you get there.

- Two hours here, I'm ahead of the game. - So it's not for the money?

If I can be looked at and get paid, am I gonna say no?

How about you? Are you looked at much?

Yeah? Well, you make the most of it while you're still young.

Because it sure gonna change.

Not now! I'm busy!

- Where are you? - At the Greco Art School. Okay?

- Have you taken up painting? - No, I'm the model. The nude model.

- Are you going to be naked? - Yeah...

and they'd all be looking at me, all ten at a time! Young people!

Oy vey, you're too ugly, have mercy!

You're going to ruin their lesson and probably screw up their lives!

Do I take my undershirt and boxers off too?

Yes, please, sir.

Leo!

Stand still. Stand together. Don't move now.

Stop moving! Come on now. Stand together, side by side.

No. Bruno in the middle. Leo on the left.

- That's good. - Come on, make up your mind.

- But you're all so handsome. - You have to pick.

I will marry Leo.

Don't move!

I will marry Leo for the first ten years.

Bruno, I will marry you next. I haven't done yet.

As for you, Zvi, I will marry you last.

You are already old, but you will be the best old man ever.

Experienced. Leo and Bruno will never know how to be old.

You might be dead by then. You are so certain that your days are numbered!

Which means I will have her to myself forever!

Leo, the first one, it was too real.

I prefer when you make up you stories.

Okay, not so good. Just say it.

- How about the second one? - The second one...?

You invented everything. Too much. It makes it totally unbelievable.

Okay, so... also bad.

- Two novels messed up. - No.

You are very gifted.

Why do you write?

To impress you.

Seriously?

I want to describe the world, because…

I don't know. Living in a world that is not described, it's too…

Lonely?

Sad?

You should write about things that are neither too real nor too imaginary.

Write about what you know.

What I know best is you.

You are silly.

I don't like drawing. - What are you doing here, then?

- I'm just keeping her company. - Your parents are paying for this class.

Why do you care? Her parents are super rich.

Sir! Keep still!

Oy vey is mir! Someone stole my boxers!

Did you see that guy across from us? He's totally checking me out.

Every time I would look up, I would see these eyes staring at me like...

some big fat hungry toad. You'd swear I was a piece of chocolate cake.

He's hot and all, but I don't think I get off on that.

- Any luck getting your mom laid? - She went out with Dr. Zilberstein again.

He's perfect. He's friendly, he's smart, he's got a great job.

I mean, we all get sick and we'll all keep getting, science ain't gonna change that.

But after dinner she came home and all she had to say was that

she's had more exciting conversations with orangutans.

That's like the third guy I've tried to set her up with. I'll never find her a man.

- Why do you even care? - She lies in bed all day...

...reading, smoking and drinking tea.

She always wants to hug and squeeze me and tell me:

"You too will be the most loved woman in the world."

She needs to find someone else to squeeze.

Let my brother be the most loved one in the world. I'm done!

- Hey, Alma! What's up? - Hey, Herman.

He's totally into you! But you can get him to give us a ride.

- Wanna go for a ride? - Don't talk to me, okay?

If I get into your shitty-ass car, I'll throw up. Got it? Let's go.

Couldn't you have headed towards him? Now we get to ride the bus for like six thousand years.

- Hi, Misha. - What's up? Let's just sit here.

I'm staying, no problem, but Zoey has to leave, she's got a date.

I don't have a date. We just got here. What, I'm not waiting for you?

Of course not. You have a date, remember?

You want me to take that bus back by myself? Right now?

Yeah, just like I will later. I'll call you.

Bye.

Chinese everywhere...!

Do you realise we met 3.9 billion years after the first life form appeared on this planet?

Ugly.

Russian culture is the richest and most important in the world.

- My mother totally agrees with me. - Clearly.

Catherine the Great keeps coming on to me. She asked me on Facebook.

- What happened to IM? - Facebook's better.

Have you read Chekhov? How about Solzhenitsyn?

He was in the same gulag as your grandparents, wasn't he?

I told her I was taken. I dropped her. We're not friends.

You're not taken.

Why do you ever talk about your grandparents?

Does your brother still think he is God?

He doesn't think he's God, he thinks he's a lamedvavnik, it's different.

Catherine is a bitch, she's been with every guy in my class.

She's trash and stupid. What is a "lamedvavnik"?

Why'd she choose to name herself after a Russian empress?

- It's an insult to the culture. - Enough with Russia already!

I'm the Russian here.

A lamedvavnik is one of the 36 anonymous holy men called 'the righteous'

who hold the world on their shoulders, thereby saving it.

Why do you keep staring at these girls if you think they're all "so ugly"?

Russian culture is build on observation.

- Let's go for a swim. - I don't have my swim suit.

Take your sweater off. You're going to melt.

- Hello, Misha. - Zdravstvuj.

Mr. Filipov.

He told my mom you are my girlfriend.

Hi there. Did you ever get "The History of Love"?

Mr. Gurski, you have asked me every week since I have known you.

The book does not exist.

I have your phone number. If it's ever published, I will call you.

Would you mind checking again? Maybe it's just come out.

Nothing. It does not exist.

Will you call me if...?

Ma?

Ma?

I'm here! I'm here! How are you, sweetie?

Come here! Give me a kiss!

There's no more Coke. There's nothing left to eat or drink.

You're in charge of shopping, so just go out and buy some.

You haven't paid the electricity bill. We got a reminder and a warning.

They're gonna cut us off.

Get your brother down here. I have some good news.

Alma, go get Bird. Give me a kiss!

No.

GOD

- Bird, can't you at least try to be normal? - I do what I want.

Everyone I know keeps asking about you.

I don't want people to think I'm like you.

Come on, come on!

Sit down. Come on, sit down.

I have amazing news.

What is the greatest book on Earth?

- Facebook. - The Torah.

Someone wants me to translate the greatest book ever written.

The one that your father offered me when I turned 25.

I'm so excited I'm gonna burst!

How can this man have known this? Let me read this to you.

It was posted from Venice, Italy.

- My publisher forwarded it to me. - Can I have the stamps?

We'll talk about that later. Okay, sweetie?

Just listen, this is amazing.

"Dear Mrs. Singer."

"I just finished reading your translation of the poems of Nicanor Parra."

A poet I indeed translated.

"The truth is I am writing to make what might seem an odd request."

"In the introduction to your translation you made reference

to the writer Zvi Litvinoff who escaped from Poland to Chile in 1942.

and his sole published work written in Spanish and never translated into English

is called"...

..."La Historia del Amor."

"The History of Love"!

Isn't that crazy? It's the very same book...

That dad gave you... when you turned 25. - You just said that.

- And that inspired us. - Mom, we know,

you told us a thousand times.

And that the author keeps calling the woman he's in love with

- "the most loved woman in the world." - Yes...

The most loved woman in the world...

"Dear Madam, my question is:

Would you consider translating it into English?"

"I would be willing to pay whatever you think is right for this work."

"I always find these matters awkward. Could we say...

...$100,000?"

A 100,000 dollars?! He is mad! I would do it for free.

A 100,000 dollars! Can you imagine? And let me carry on:

"If that strikes you as too little, please let me know."

- Ask for a $150,000. - That's a sin.

This suits me fine, just fine, too fine, actually.

But who am I to argue? At least we are saved.

"I would be grateful if you could send your response to me

here care of the above address in New York in this hotel."

"The concierge will know how to forward it to me.

Yours eagerly, Jacob Marcus."

Jacob Marcus. Isn't that a true miracle?

Mom, only the Messiah can perform miracles.

Give us a break.

This way, finally, it will be in English

and finally, you will be able to read it.

- Do we have to? - Yeah, it's yours and dad's love story.

It's none of our business. You are the "most loved woman in the world", not me.

But you are too.

It is part of your heritage.

You are named after the character in this book.

Anyway, since we are going to have some money,

I have made a decision.

You two are going on vacation to visit Aunt Frances in London next week.

- I've already called her. - No!

- She hates us. - I have to finish the Ark.

And I have my drawing class and my first aid class.

Children who don't go on vacation, there's no such thing.

Yes, there is. Us. We haven't for years.

But that's okay, mom. We have plenty of stuff to do.

- I'm not leaving. - Me neither.

You are so complicated.

In one month, this will be translated.

Did you read my poems? - Yes, not bad, but you can do better.

- Try again. - Yes.

You're such a pain, wanting to love the one among us who writes best.

There's more to life, you know.

Leo is the one who writes best. He's going to write a book about me.

- What if we went to Chile to see Zvi? - With what money?

Look, you're going to continue to do your art modeling job...

...every day, all over town, in the buff, scaring the students along the way.

And me, I'm going to be a runway model.

I am shein, handsome. And you're not. A real meeskite.

We'll have enough for the plane tickets. Is that for two?

No, just for one. Go back to your place.

I'll call you when I'm done with my dinner.

Alma! Alma!

Hey. What's the matter?

Tell me about daddy, please.

I've told you everything.

Again. One more time.

He was an adventurer. A real one.

A strong man who laughed and made jokes all the time.

Is it true he was a volunteer firefighter?

Yes. And he liked to rock climb.

He was an excellent climber.

Once he climbed up a steep rock that was like 200 feet tall.

- In Chile? - No.

In Chile he focused on something else.

- Dancing. - He liked to dance?

He loved it.

He could even do the tango.

He had learned it in Santiago.

He and mom danced all the time.

He used to move the coffee table against the wall and spin her around the whole room.

He used to lift her and dip her and sing in her ear.

I never knew daddy was a researcher.

- What was he looking for? - Happiness, dummy.

Was I there? - Sure you were.

Always.

He used to throw you up in the air and catch you.

- How'd he know he wouldn't drop me? - He just knew.

What did he call me?

Lots of things.

"Buddy", "Little guy", "Punch".

What's the thing he called me the most?

I think it was...

"The Genius".

Really?

You never told me that.

So... why don't you believe I'm a lamedvavnik?

I am one of the 36 holy people.

Without us, the world would collapse. We are carrying it on our shoulders.

- Bird... - I'm normal.

When the Messiah comes, he's gonna be one of the lamedvavniks.

In each generation, there is one person who has the potential to be the Messiah.

Maybe the world is ready for him...

...or maybe it's not.

Enough already! Go to sleep!

Oy vey... What time is it?

Yes, Bruno?

- Is this Mr. Leopold Gurski? - Well, yeah, who else?

I locked myself out of my house, I'm looking for a locksmith.

So I called information for the number of a locksmith, they gave me your number.

It is two a.m.! And I'm retired.

Look, I already called three other numbers. Nobody answered.

- Okay, go ahead. - 510 East 92nd Street.

- But that's all the way uptown! - Take a cab. I'll pay you back.

Can I have a car? Yes, right now! When do you think it's for? Next year?

I'm an old man. Even tomorrow's a long way away for me.

Excuse me? Credit card?

I lost it. I pay cash.

Hey, go stop somewhere else, you putz! I'm waiting for a cab!

- Mr. Gurski? - Yes. How do you know my name?

- You ordered a car? - A cab!

Gold Badge Car Service?

- You brought new car, I can't pay extra. - This way, please.

- 85 dollars, please. - What?

I don't want to buy the car. Open the window!

Hey! Mr. Scott? Can you pay him?

You also want a limo to drive you back? What were you, Mr. Locksmith to the Stars?

Believe me, I'd never mistake myself for anyone special.

20 years ago they had Renaults. French cars.

Guess they got richer and swankier, but it's not my fault.

Capitalism has opened too many doors, if you ask me.

There you go, sir.

That's great! Come in, please, come.

Please come in.

Would you care for some tea?

ISAAC MORITZ THE REMEDY

"To Mr. Scott, all the best." Isaac Moritz

Have you read it?

I am his father. He is my son.

His father?

How much do I owe you? - 50 dollars.

That's it? That's cheaper than the limousine.

Okay, make it 100. Night time fee.

- Shall I make it out to Mr. Moritz, then? - No, Gurski.

- Oh, your son kept his mother's name? - Yes, that's it, exactly.

Don't you have cash? I'm terrible with checks, I keep losing them.

There's a hundred.

And twenty for the cab.

WORDS FOR MANY THINGS

Alma! Get the door! Are you ready?

- How are you, Alma? Going to a wedding? - A funeral.

Alma, is Charlotte home?

Dr. Zilberstein, how many times have I told you, give it up!

- Oh, come on, give me one last chance. - One, she doesn't want to see you.

Two, I don't want to see you anymore either. You're boring.

- Hasn't she made that clear to you? - I only sold ten cups of lemonade.

- Can't you say hi? - Hi!

- I told you to get the groceries. - Lamedvavnik don't do groceries.

Alma, I don't understand. You introduced us.

Well, I shouldn't have. It was a bad idea. Goodbye.

- Who was it? - Bird.

He has a key. Stop getting the door for him. And hurry up, we're late!

- I can go on my own. - I haven't left the house in three days.

- Shalom! - Happy Birthday.

I am Alma's mother. Zdravstvuj, Misha!

- Zdravstvuj...? - What a handsome young man you are.

- Bye mom. - See you later, sweetie. Have fun!

- Did he try to make out with you yet? - He hasn't said a word to me all night.

Well, as soon as it gets dark, jump his bone.

Guess what, I found a guy for my mother. An aristocrat. He lives in Venice, Italy.

Travels a lot, loves literature

and just sent us a $25,000 check that's in my pants right now.

What the hell are you doing with $25,000 at Misha's birthday?

Don't worry, he's going to send us a total of a $100,000

in four installments each time we send him a quarter of the translation.

At least that effing book won't just be a pain in the butt.

- "We?" - Yeah, I'll thank him for my mother.

I have a plan. I think this is the guy for us.

Okay! I gotta go.

- So you piss like the rest of us, huh? - What?

Nothing.

Mom, you said thirty minutes an hour an hour ago!

I'm turning gray, hurry up, I...

Come.

You are my girlfriend.

I'm your boyfriend.

I think I found a guy for mom.

I'd rather we just stay friends.

What?! Are you crazy? Friends?

We're not in 19th century kindergarten! You're nuts about him.

I'll bet you he'll take that for a 'no'. Russians are proud, you idiot!

I don't want him to think I'm easy.

He's been working on this for six damn months!

You say 'no' when there are three girls for every boy in this place?

When girls are giving blowjobs in the bathrooms just to exist?

Open your eyes. It's a war out there!

Call him. Tell him you love him. Tell him he's your guy.

Not happening.

The decision has been made. She's leaving for New York.

The Germans are less than 200 miles away. We're all going to die.

If you love her, Leo, you must let her go.

Hopefully one day, when you have enough money,

you two will meet again - over there.

You should never have accepted. You will forget me.

Even dead I will not forget you.

Alma. Sit down.

You said I would be the first, so marry me before you go.

Just tell me: "I am your wife."

I promise you I shall make you laugh your entire life, day and night.

At night I sleep.

Leo, we're getting married.

In New York.

Promise me you are not going to die.

You will come. You will live.

For me.

I promise you.

Now, is Zvi a better writer than I am?

What?

The other day, Bruno read you a poem that you seemed to like very much.

He lied to you, he didn't write it. Zvi did.

You said Zvi's poems were bad. And now you like them?

So, is Zvi a better writer than me?

My love, you will write to me every week.

And with each letter you will send a chapter from your book about me.

You are the best writer.

I can't remember, doesn't three knocks mean "Death"?

No, one knock: "I'm dead." Two knocks: "I'm okay."

Three knocks: "I want to talk."

Two knocks is stupid, if you're okay, why tell me?

So that you don't worry. You're Jewish, you worry. I feel sorry for you.

You're the one who's always thinking I'm worrying.

Anyway, what did you want to talk about?

- He hasn't called me. - Who hasn't?

My son! He got the manuscript a week ago.

I know, I sent it special delivery.

Why don't you go see him and tell him you're his father?

Sending him your autobiographical manuscript is the dumbest thing you could do.

He must get ten a day! It probably landed in the trash.

Actually, why did you wait until now to send it to him?

I finished it only recently, and I didn't have a title!

- Mazel tov! So what's the title? - "Words for many things."

So go and tell him "words for many things".

Come on, admit it, it's strange when a son does not call his own father!

I can't believe it! You can't be his father since he doesn't know he's your son!

- All he has to do is read the manuscript! - It's in the trash!

Hey, Alma, this isn't some drunk hook-up on a Friday night.

Come on, do it seriously! In the real world, he'd be dead already.

Listen up, everyone! In this kind of situation, time is crucial.

Remember that. Otherwise:

"Goodbye, victim!" All right, let's go!

Jake, I'll see you on Friday. Good stuff today.

Alma? Are you okay?

Hey. What's up?

Could I one day come drain a real fire? - You wanna burn?

- I wanna help. - Okay.

I'll see what I can do, all right?

See you on Friday?

- What are you doing here? - I didn't know he...

- Okay, I gotta go. I have a date. - If you have a date, why did you come?

- Can you just give us a moment? - Uh, yeah...

- I'll call you later. - Stay!

I don't understand why we should stay friends?

When I kissed you, you kissed me right back. And I didn't just dream it.

You actually seemed to like it, so... Do you like me or not?

Okay, we'll kiss again, and then we'll have sex, and then what?

- You're crazy! - Love stories never last.

- Look around you. Right, Zoey? - Yeah...

Is that why you give mouth to mouth in those crappy exercises?

- Stay out of this, Zoey! - Hey, she likes you. What's your problem?

No, I don't! What are you talking about?

I like him as a friend. He doesn't get it. Friendship is better than love.

- No, it's not! Love is better. - Well, stay out of this, Zoey!

- You told me to stay. - Not to take his side!

Since the two of you're so on the same wavelength, why don't you guys get together?

Bye!

"Dear Jacob Marcus. What an honor to be able to communicate with you.

I'd like to tell you about our little tribe so you can get a picture

of where your book is getting dressed in the English language.

We're an astounding family. First, let me thank you for that first check.

We celebrated in style with the help of Russian music

by organizing a very joyful Slavic Thanksgiving -

slightly early, a gargantuan meal, the biggest turkey...

We danced, we laughed, all thanks to you.

Here are the members of my little family:

My daughter is brilliant and incredibly beautiful.

Forgive the subjective point of view of a mother, but that actually has not been a reality that much.

She is both literary and loves the sciences.

She knows everything there is to know about species and life on Earth.

She is very athletic and every day learns more about how to survive in all circumstances,

especially in hostile environments.

She is funny, sociable and very intuitive.

My ten year old son is five years younger than she is, and he is a visionary.

He is already very responsible and is dealing with his spirituality.

We call him Bird, because he is free, poetic, light -

and he hovers over the great questions of the world.

He already behaves like an adult, whilst retaining his juvenile innocence.

As for me, I am raising these two beautiful children with happiness.

I love literature, going to shows, traveling...

cooking, savoring delicious dishes and, from time to time, a good French wine.

My children say I'm very beautiful, but please be assured I'm fully aware...

...that time has had its effect on me, even if their subjective statements flatter me.

I love sincere friendships that last.

Not like those of today's youth who choose superficially in the moment

and who can't stop declaring all over their love for you.

No doubt I am boring you.

It would give us a great pleasure if one evening you'd accept to have dinner with us.

Yours truly, Charlotte Singer."

Alma, turn off that crazy music! Alma!

It's hurting my ears!

Your son never listened to such crap! That's just noise, not music!

How dumb could you be to think you could be living your life in sync with your son?

I like it.

And he doesn't listen to all of this!

Isaac!

- I found it! - That's great!

That's not being a father. You have to live with you son for real.

Why didn't you ever make him listen to klezmer? That's real music.

A violin, a clarinet, an accordion.

Do you realise that because of you he'll never know Dudu Fisher?

How can you live with that?

- Dudu Fisher! - Dudu!

Dudu Fisher!

You're such a schmuck,

but it's so good to have you!

Hey! Are you still selling that lemonade of yours?

Of course.

One glass?

LEMONADE 50 cents

- Three dollars. - What? It used to be 50 cents.

The deluge is coming. You have to support the Messiah.

Thanks.

Get what you want! We're old, but we're not invisible.

And we should celebrate that.

Nazis.

Enjoy.

One sugar.

- Bastard! - It's no big deal, sir.

- I'm sorry. Getting old so quickly... - It's OK. I'll bring you another one.

Here you go.

You're such a bastard! She is so sweet! What did the Germans ever do to you?

We're going to lock it down two blocks away to all sides.

- Yo, Cap, what do we got? - Evacuation and rescue on level 3!

Shine a little light here.

We're going in with water right now! Come on!

We need two guys inside right now, boys! Come on, let's go!

- Plan 3, guys! - My child!

Get your ladder up! We got a kid on the third floor!

Jeff! Get up there. We got a kid on the third floor!

Shalom! God bless you.

Come in!

Alma, Misha's here!

Come, come.

Is Alma here?

No. She isn't here, she's on her first aid course.

Do you want to wait? She won't be long. Lemonade?

- Three dollars. - What?

She really likes you. She won't tell you 'cause she's dumb and she's proud.

Promise me you will never leave her.

I'm the man of the house now.

Wake up.

You're home.

- Thanks. - Glad you came tonight.

- One day you'll do the same. - You were great.

- Thanks. - Thank you, good night.

Thank you for calling your US postal service.

In a few words, tell me how I can help you today?

You can say things like: "Track a package". So, how can I help you?

Hello. My name is Leo Gurski.

I sent an package by special delivery to my son two weeks ago.

The delivery was confirmed. I've got the return receipt.

But despite the confirmation, did it get lost?

Was it delivered to the wrong address?

Please call me back on 917-555-0123.

This is important! Thank you!

The answering machine... Phew! Lazy bunch!

Don't they ever work?

Are you OK?

I was about to go to sleep. - My printer's broken.

Could you please print the translation on yours?

- I just finished the first quarter. - Now? You want me to print it now?

Or tomorrow morning.

- Send me an email. - Alma!

I'm not asking for miracles. Can you help me? Yes or no?

Transfer the file now on a flash drive.

I must send this to him, we won't get paid until it's delivered.

Fine...

Thank you.

In a relationship.

Don't worry, it's only sex, not love. Russians need sex.

- He's an asshole. - He may have done it just to piss you off.

- Screw him! And fuck that whore! - Don't worry, Russians always come back.

- Do you want me to come over? - No, it's all good. I'll survive.

He called her "Alma, my Alma, the most loved woman in the world."

Alma Mereminski!

- Hurry up, we have to leave! - I'll be there as soon as I have the money.

And I will write to you. Just answer me, don't keep me in the dark.

Your novel. One chapter with every letter.

I promise.

I love you.

- Almoushka... - Alma Mereminski, we have to leave!

Go. Go, go.

Go, go. Almoushka, go!

Mamma, enough. Mamma, enough, enough.

Come now.

- I love you! - I love you! I love you, Alma!

I love you!

I love you!

I love you Leo! I love you!

I don't want to be named Alma anymore.

The Jewish name

and that story about the most loved woman in the world, it's all bullshit.

I don't want to be loved. Love only exists in books.

That's not true.

Alma Mereminski really did exist.

- She was loved like no other. - I don't give a shit.

And anyway, how do you know?

Your father had found her.

Did he meet her?

No, he didn't dare.

But everything in this book is real.

Love is real.

Your father loved me. Insanely.

No one will ever love me like he did.

Really?

Then why did he leave?

Your father did not leave you. He did not leave us.

The cancer took him, way too soon.

Don't be mad at him.

Give me a kiss.

How did you become so grown up so quickly?

You will be the most loved woman in the world.

I promise.

I don't wanna hear it anymore! It's over, done!

You're wrong, he loves you. OK, OK, I'll shut up.

Hello, I have to give this package in person to Mr. Jacob Marcus.

He is not here. Leave the package with me, I shall give it to him.

- Can I get the stamp? - I can wait.

He's out of the country.

Thank you, sir.

Let's wait. As soon as we turned our back, the concierge picked up the phone.

I'm sure he's here.

Hello, John.

George. I believe you have something for me?

Yes, I do.

Wrong. Jacob Marcus is a woman.

Sir! Are you getting on?

No, no, thank you. I get seasick.

America.

Thank you.

Excuse me, sir. Where is this?

- Go straight ahead and turn left. - Thank you.

Leo!

Oy vey iz mir.

Leo!

Leo...

Come, come in.

Oh my God.

You are alive. You are alive!

Wait.

Sit down.

I'll be right back.

Sit down, Leo. Wait for me here. Leo.

- Wait for me here. - Okay.

- Leo... - My Alma, my love.

- Leo... - I've missed you so much.

We are together. We are together.

All these years I have thought of you day and night.

Year after year, I survived thanks to you.

I promised you I'd manage, and I did. You kept me alive.

I was an animal, but an animal can't love the way that I did

and think of only one thing the way that I did.

I survived thanks to your laughter,

to your eyes, to each freckle on your body.

Thanks to your sweetness of your hair, thanks to your neck,

your long fingers, your eyebrows.

I'm going to be a writer. The best writer ever.

I have so many things to tell you that I've not told anyone for years but you.

I will tell you everything, just you.

And I will write books, lots of books.

Neither too real, nor too imaginative, but like you said, just unimaginable.

You'll be so proud of me, Alma.

I worked like a dog to make enough money to emigrate.

I don't know how I did it.

I didn't know how to walk anymore, or speak, or even think.

I got a job at the harbor loading bale after bale like a machine,

until I could get out to the boat.

Alma, you are so beautiful.

My love, my most loved woman in the world.

I want to make love to you. Alma, I want you.

I am married.

You stopped writing, Leo.

At first I was getting your letters, and then - nothing.

Nothing. For years.

Why?

Why?

I thought you were dead.

And then I learned that both our families had been killed.

A few months after I arrived in New York...

I gave birth to a boy.

You are his father.

I called him Isaac.

Like your father.

Your son, he's called Isaac.

Mordecai Moritz, my husband, married me to protect me.

I was alone with a child, no means, no news of my family...

...in a country and a city I did not know.

Put yourself in my place.

That's not him.

That's Bernard, Isaac's younger half-brother.

I had a second child with my husband.

I have two children.

Isaac is not here.

I have a family, Leo.

I'm sorry.

Promise me...

you will never tell your son you are his father.

It would kill him.

Leo?

Komm mit mir.

Come with me, please, Alma.

Come with me.

Please, Alma.

Take Isaac and come with me, please.

Ich kenne nichts. I can't.

Please.

Please, Leo.

Please.

I waited for something to happen,

but nothing did.

No wind that swept everything away.

No heart attack.

No angel at the door.

This time, don't screw up, put out!

- Anything else, Alma? - No thank you.

I got it, it lists every plant, root and insect that can be in hostile environments:

Marine, tropical forests, high mountains, savannah, desert.

Did you know almost all of the arctic vegetation is edible?

- I don't care, I just want... - You don't want anything.

You slept with Catherine, right? The question is, why?

The answer is, "Because I'm a big asshole and, like all guys,

I just wanna screw the dumb whore-looking chick right now."

I wanted to piss you off. You screwed me with that fireman of yours.

Who, Jeff? What about him?

He drove you back home that night and kissed you.

No way, he drove me home, that's it.

- Who told you he kissed me? - I saw it with my own eyes!

What were you doing hiding around my place? Why didn't you come and see me?

- And no, he didn't kiss me. - Okay, so he didn't. What do you want?

- What do I want from what? - From me. What do you see in me?

You like Russia, not me.

Some far-off country stuck in the snow, with white bears,

queens, little "Chekhovs" everywhere.

You do realise that summer exists over there, don't you?

And I know how you love that story about my grandparents

who were deported to Siberia by Stalin.

Two Jewish heroes: Moses and Mosesette.

But that is not me, I didn't survive anything.

I only know Siberia from photos.

I was born in Moscow, the Russian New York, before the purge.

My parents were scientists that earned money and happily polluted Russia.

It was their revenge for having grown up in Siberia.

They showered me in love and offered me the best gift ever: America.

- Don't you want us to be friends anymore? - No, I don't want to be friends.

In love, yes. But I want you to love me.

I can't take your crazy survival shit anymore.

You have to live life, not survive. Take a good look at your mom,

'cause one day you'll be exactly like her. So save yourself, first and foremost!

I hope to be like my mother my whole life! You don't know her.

She is the most loved woman in the world. Strong, fulfilled and bright.

My father loved her like no other could. There's no more love today, only war.

I don't want to love and I don't want to be loved.

I want to be with you. I want us to be together.

There's no one to save, there's nobody threatening us, there's no war on!

Oh yes, there is!

War never ends.

Leave me alone. You don't understand anything about love.

Love isn't a like on Facebook.

Love is a story from the beginning with no end.

Just leave me alone.

You know what? When I'm with Catherine, I feel great.

She may be brain dead, but at least she doesn't have anything to say.

But she knows what she wants and that's relaxing.

- You - one day it's black, one day... - Well, that's me, all right?!

Okay then.

Bye.

Yes?

So, he changed his Facebook status back to "single". Isn't that great?

I screwed up!

Hello. Here's 541 dollars and 50 cents. Give me a one way ticket to Jerusalem, please.

- Hello? You mean Tel Aviv? - No, Jerusalem.

There's no airport in Jerusalem, and the ticket is $700.

It hasn't been 540 for quite a while. Are you traveling alone?

There is an airport in Jerusalem.

Why are you so keen on going to Jerusalem?

Can you keep a secret?

I am a lamedvavnik and maybe even the Messiah. Aren't there any discounts?

If you are a lamedvavnik, can't you make the plane ticket cost $540?

I'm sorry. Come with me.

"Mom, Alma, there is going to be a deluge.

You don't have to worry, because I built you an ark.

Alma, you know where it is. You must survive. I love you, Bird.

He's not answering, it goes straight to voice mail.

Alma, why do you ever know where your brother is? Where is his ark?

There is nothing here. Has anyone seen him?

- No, no one! - Have you seen my little brother?

- Oh my God. Oh, my Bird... - Leave me alone!

Bird! - I'm sorry. Thank you, gentlemen.

Please, come in. Can I get you something to drink? A cup of tea?

No, thank you, Ma'am. We just have a few documents for you to sign.

Everybody thinks it's easy to be lamedvavnik.

but we have to carry the world on our shoulders.

Nobody sees the deluges, yet they are threatening us from all sides.

You don't have a boyfriend, so you spend your time hanging out with Zoey.

And mom doesn't have a husband, so she smokes and works in the yard

and is going to die from cancer.

Auschwitz. The bums that sleep on the street even in winter.

Rwanda. Congo. Children who don't have any parents left.

Famine in Africa. The girl in my class who is missing a finger.

AIDS. Cambodia.

Mad cow disease. War, it's just about everywhere.

No, that's my son's ark!

Hey! Hey!

Don't destroy it!

- It's okay. - No!

That is my son's ark!

You're not responsible for any of that, Bird.

- You can't save the world. - Can you?

I just want to save my neighbor and fellow man.

- Through science. - Did science save dad?

He survived everything except illness.

My Bird.

I promise you, everything's gonna be okay.

Alma Mereminski, the world's most loved woman.

Alma Moritz-Mereminski Isaac Moritz's mother...

author of "The Remedy", well known for Jacob Marcus' character...

"The Remedy" by Isaac Moritz

Jacob Marcus, a worthy heir of tragic-comic characters of Jewish literature.

BOOKS BY ISAAC MORITZ

Jacob Marcus is a pseudonym, the guy's name is Isaac Moritz,

he's a writer, the son of Alma Mereminski.

And my name is...?

Okay, hello, you're too slow! I'll spell it out for you some time.

Anyway, everything is linked, it's great!

- Shit. - Alma?

Here, let me help.

Isaac Moritz... Why are you reading all this?

The writer is alive, so he can't be any good, huh?

You can only win a Nobel Prize when you're dead, is that it?

- "The Remedy". That rings a bell... - He is the son of...

Of his mother - Mrs. Moritz.

These are for you. Thank you.

Jacob Marcus is sending us the balance. Isn't that amazing?

There are still honest people left in the world.

We'll have gotten a $100,000 and I haven't even sent the last quarter.

- Didn't you say you needed new shoes? - No, I'm okay.

He says he's unwell. Wants us to send the end of the work directly to his place.

He's unwell? Show me.

When the translation is finished, will you read it?

I do not know.

- Hello. Sprechen Sie Deutsch? - Oh, ja.

I don't, but I speak Yiddish. Farshteyst?

A coffee, please. Espresso.

There you go.

I'm sorry! Ah! Old age...

What an idiot I am. Ja, ja!

If only I could die.

Don't say that, sir. You are still young.

Really, you think? Will you come to my funeral?

There you go, sir. Would you like me to take it to the table for you?

No, no. This is fine.

Hello, Bruno, isn't it good to be alive?

No thank you, I don't want to buy anything.

I'm not trying to sell you anything. Listen...

I was sitting here in the coffee shop, drinking coffee...

...in front of this shaina maidel with orange hair, and suddenly it hit me.

- Who hit you? - The truth.

It hit me how good it is to be alive. Alive!

And I was dying to tell you. I mean, I didn't want to die before telling you.

Do you understand what I'm saying? I'm saying...

Life is a thing of beauty, Bruno. A thing of beauty and joy forever.

Sure, whatever you say, Leo. Life is a beauty.

And a joy forever. - All right, and a joy.

Forever!

Famous writer Isaac Moritz passed away in New York

Scheisse! Fucking old bastard!

Du hurenkopf, you always do this! You come and you make a mess, and I have to clean!

Does that mean you are alive or dead?

Alive!

Two knocks means "alive".

I told you a thousand times, you old fart!

Even in zero gravity, the shuttle astronauts and their cosmonaut counterparts

felt a great weight.

That's the shuttle's docking ring at the bottom of the screen,

the Russian Mir approaching from above.

After making their safety checks, shuttle commander Robert Gibson

opened the shuttle hatch.

There were warm greetings for the Mir crew, especially for US astronaut Norman Thagard

...who has now spent 107 days as the Russians' guest...

I am not at home, please leave me a message. Beep!

Leo, it's Alma.

I know I shouldn't.

- Alma? - Hello?

Leo? This isn't an answering machine?

No.

It's me.

I'm screaming.

Are you okay?

It's been...

Leo, I need to see you.

Come in.

- Leo. - Almoushka.

You've gone back to school.

You want to be a doctor?

My Leo.

You know I can't take these flowers.

- He would see them. - He won't see anything.

I take them with me when I leave

and I'll bring them back every day.

Please, don't.

You are so beautiful.

If I were to die...

From laughter...

or from choking on this this schnolly food?

Listen to me, Leo. This is serious.

If I were to die,

you must promise me two things.

One...

Don't stay alone.

Go find yourself someone.

And two...

Never tell Isaac you are his father.

It's good this place is also a hospital. It'd never make it as a restaurant.

Leo, this is serious.

Say it.

I promise.

Leo...

Did you finish the book?

You know, those first chapters…

I read them all to my son in Yiddish...

...every night before falling asleep.

"Sick with love."

"The stomp of the boot."

"The roar of the cannon."

"All this was the emptiness, this eternal autumn"-

"since Alma had left."

"Is there a cure?" he asked.

"A Cure for Love..."

- "and the madness of men that makes deluge of beauty?"

My love, my Almoushka, you were right to leave.

I miss you, but I'm happy to know that you are far from here.

The war is raging on.

The Schors are dead. Families are escaping to Russia.

I continue to work in Minsk.

I will soon have enough money to come to America.

Here is a new chapter of the book. Tell what you think of it.

I love you, I love you, I love you. Leo.

How could I not have finished it? Of course I did.

- For you. - Then why didn't you send it to me?

It was during the war. The postal service wasn't working.

And after...

After what?

Here is my manuscript, Zvi. Take it with you, don't lose it.

You'll send it back to me once I get to New York.

If I die, send it to Alma at this address.

A few years ago, I wrote to Zvi in ​​Chile

to ask him to send me my manuscript.

...an ocean of desperation,

without any hope to repopulate my heart...

...with your joys, with your fears,

with your words, with your kisses.

But to see you again, my love...

...would be a life without death,

a story without an end.

Our story of love.

You're a genius!

"My dear Zvi, here is the address to which you have to send it.

Thanks again for having saved my "History of Love".

I hope to see you again soon. Now you have mine address, I have yours.

Your friend Leo."

His wife told me the manuscript had been lost in a flood.

Regarding "The History of Love" manuscript...

It has been destroyed in a flood.

Zvi is not well. He sends his regards.

No flood can erase "The History of Love". No, Ma'am.

I so badly wanted to know how it ended.

So what's the problem, Almoushka? I know the end by heart.

Next time I'll tell you.

"My dear son, my name is Leo Gurski.

I am your father.

I'm starting to write to you to tell you my life.

today, when I learned that my story of love with your mother, my dear Alma,

has been taken by a flood.

I had written a book to your mother.

It was called "The History of Love".

The book is dead. Gone.

Swept away by the raging waters.

From the wreckage rise these words for you, my son.

Here I go.

Once upon a time there was a boy.

Almoushka...

Why did you do that?

Why, God?!

Why, God?!

Why, God?!

Bruno?

- Bruno Leibovitch! - Leo!

- You here in New York? - In New York, America, Leo!

- Do you live in New York? - In Brooklyn.

- Bruno, do you know what? - What?

You are manna fallen from the sky. I promised Alma not to stay alone.

Call it a sign. Guess I'll make do with you!

- Alma? What else did you promise her? - It doesn't matter.

A room just became vacant in my building, right above mine.

It's cheap. What do you think? Become my next-door neighbor!

- Where is it? - Eldridge Street.

Chinatown? There are no Jews left over there, they've all gone.

Nope, there is still one - me. Now there will be two of us.

You don't look so good, you know.

Actually, you look like death boned over.

I just lost my wife.

New York City, 2006

Hello, sir. And what size are you?

Well, I don't know, not too big.

What you see is what you get. I'm not going to grow anymore.

Not expensive, a suit you can't sell.

Please. Please come with me.

Make yourself comfortable.

Fits you like a glove, like it was made for you.

Oh, you are so handsome. She's going to worship you.

Keep in mind, though, she hasn't seen me in years.

I don't want to be a schnorrer.

If you like, for a little extra, I could take it in just a drop here.

- When would it be ready? - Two days.

- How much is it? - 200.

200 what?

No alteration, I'll give you 100.

We are brothers - Jews and Gypsies.

I'm Indian, not Gypsy. But okay for 100.

- I just finished the translation. - I'll send it.

You wanna go for a ride?

- Is this a joke? - No.

- You're not gonna puke in the car? - Of course not. I took my pills.

Okay. Give me five minutes.

- Cool huh? - Love it! You know how to get there?

They call me GPS: "Greatest Playboy Searcher".

Didn't know you liked the country. - I'm crazy about the country.

I love to lie in the grass.

Mr. Moritz was born on New York's Lower East Side...

...in 1942 to immigrant parents.

Let me bow before the pain of Mordecai, his father...

...and Bernard, his brother, who are here with us today.

Isaac Moritz's novels, so profoundly Jewish,

are remarkable for their sense of humor.

That humor that allows us to fight against despair.

Despite the darkness, the Jewish people have never stopped looking for the light.

Isaac's signature character, his alter ego Jacob Marcus...

...has been with us and will continue to live in our hearts forever.

Unfortunately, the life of his creator never found its remedy.

I confess it was not always easy living in the shadow

of a well-known writer and personality.

I was Isaac's brother. But oh, how I admired him.

I admit that many times I felt powerless over Isaac's despair

which consumed him.

He withdrew away and made me feel like an outsider.

Our mother's death tore him apart and destroyed him.

But I will always keep the memories of our happy childhood.

I have two places left. Hillary, come with us.

- Hello. Are you a relative of Isaac? - I was. And you?

I'm Hillary, his publisher.

- Where are we going? - To his house.

- This field of yours still a long way away? - Next exit, we're nearly there.

- There's his house. - The house is empty?

No, mom's boyfriend's there. His name is Isaac Moritz.

He's a nice guy, you'll see.

It's a really big house.

Hello. Do you remember me?

Did we go to high school together?

No, the Greco Art School. You came to pose, you filled out a form for me.

Did you know the deceased, or did you come here to be watched?

To be watched.

Whose place is this?

Bernard Moritz, brother of the deceased.

- Do you know where the restrooms are? - Upstairs.

There's nobody here. Do you have the keys?

Wait up. I'll be back in a sec.

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know anyone was here.

I come from Slonim.

I was a friend of Isaac's mother.

Your mother.

Alma Mereminsky. We knew each other in the village in Poland.

I'm so glad. She used to tell us about it, so many stories.

Since you knew her back then, I have something to show you.

That's me and my girlfriend kissing in the village when I was young.

That's my Alma from the book.

She is beautiful.

It's raining.

Take another one. Leo was hidden. I'm sure you could hardly see him.

No, it's raining.

Take your hat!

Did you know her well?

We were cousins.

Distant.

Which side?

Both.

Wake up! He stole it.

Schmuck! Your son stole your book "Words for Many Things".

He's going to publish it under his name. How crazy is that?

You write your first book about Alma, it gets stolen by Zvi. Idiot!

You write another book about yourself for your son - it also gets stolen!

And by who? By that son!

- Mazel tov! Schlemozel! - See? He read it.

- He figured out I was his father. - He stole your book!

And they're saying that it's his best work. Call them!

Do you realize...

Isaac and I are finally reunited in the same book, in the same story?

What story? You never lived the same story! You never did anything together.

He must have made a copy. He didn't send your manuscript. Shit!

Go to his house and get your manuscript back.

Claim it! Let people know you exist and that it's yours.

- Hello. We met at his funeral. - Yes, I remember. What can I do for you?

My name is Leo Gurski, I am Isaac Moritz's father.

Could you please give me a copy of his latest book?

What?! Tell her you wrote it!

Very funny. Leo Gurski is the leading character's name in the book.

Funny, it's a great prank, but I have work to do.

Besides, the book isn't out yet. We're still in the galley stage and...

I just got off the phone with Mr. Moritz, the real father.

Show her your ID, dammit, maybe then she'll believe you!

- I don't have it on me. - Schlemozel!

I don't understand any of this, so, Mr. Donald Duck, or whoever you prefer to be today...

In a month's time, you can go to any bookstore you like and buy the book yourself.

Like the good boy that I am sure you are.

I may not live that long. And I want to read what it says about me.

We'll see you at the next funeral, perhaps. Have a good day.

- You let her get away with it? - Yes, I did, that book reached its goal.

My son wound up with his father, end of story.

And "The History of Love", did that reach its goal?

Alma never read it. It disappeared in a flood my ass!

You don't even have a single line left from the book of your life!

You are robbed of everything: your wife, your son,

your books, your possible future lives.

And you know what? Yes, I slept with Alma in the village.

You suspected it? Well, don't. Yes, I slept with her. Happy now?

Do you remember the day we met in New York? I told you I had just lost my wife.

My wife was Alma. I was seeing her at the hospital behind her husband's back.

You were going to the hospital behind my back?

You weren't her husband, Mordechai was.

No, Alma was mine and she will be forever!

Yeah? Your wonderful "History of Love"! You schmuck!

Then let me tell you something, too.

On her deathbed, Alma made me promise never to live alone.

I gave her my word. She wanted me to find a wife, I cheated.

I invented you instead, to keep me company. Just to please her.

And because I thought you'd be less cumbersome than a regular wife.

Oy vey! What a mistake!

How stupid of me to choose you.

Don't you get it? You don't exist.

Therefore you couldn't go to the hospital behind my back.

I invented you after she died!

So go back to your grave. You're just worms!

If I don't exist, then nobody in your life does.

No more son, no more wife, no more friend.

Die! Go to your son's and get your manuscript.

Better yet, you should die while you're at Isaac's,

holding your only masterpiece against your chest.

Asshole! Disappear!

It is raining again today.

Raining in our hearts.

It is a very difficult moment for all of us.

Today we bury our son...

...our friend Bruno Leibovitch.

Murdered by the Nazis at the young age of 19.

Our thoughts are with Shlomo and Esther, his parents.

With Leah and Avishag, his sisters.

With Leo and Zvi, his best friends.

Come with me to Chile. They're going to kill us all.

They killed all the Jews in Staszów.

I'm going to New York, Zvi. As soon as I have the money.

They'll never kill me.

There you go, sir. Have a good day.

WORDS FOR MANY THINGS BY LEO GURSKI

"My dear son.

My name is Leo Gurski. I am your father.

I'm starting to write to you to tell you my life.

today, when I learned that my story of love with your mother...

...my dear Alma, has been taken by a flood.

A deluge.

I had written a book to your mother. It was called "The History of Love".

The book is dead. Gone. Swept away by the raging waters.

Who knows if one day a miracle may bring it back from the past?

From the wreckage rise these words...

From the ashes of this book rise these words for you, my son.

Here I go.

Once upon a time there was a boy. His name was Leo Gurski.

He lived in a village that no longer exists...

...on the edge of a field that no longer exists...

...in a house that no longer exists...

...where everything was discovered

and everything was possible.

And later, everything became impossible.

I have the last part of "The history of Love". Call me. Alma.

You know, if you helped me with the washing and the groceries,

you'd have less time to carry the entire world on your shoulders.

A lamedvavnik doesn't do that stuff.

Well, lamedvavniks had better change 'cause they're really getting on my nerves.

- Alma, your phone! - Turn off the water!

You left me a note. You have "The History of Love"?

- I do. - Only the end?

- No. - All of it?

Yes.

Can we meet tomorrow at four p.m. in Central Park?

Yes.

Would the bench next to Sheep Meadows Field and Pain Quotidien Restaurant be okay?

Yes.

Alma, are you okay?

Yes.

Do you know the secret of the most loved woman in the world?

- How do you become one? - You don't. Either you are or you're not.

- How do you know if you are? - I'll tell you.

Time has come for me to tell you everything.

I'll be wearing a floral dress. See you tomorrow. Bye.

Shit. Where's my flowery dress?

- Bird! Did you take my floral dress? - Lamedvavniks don't wear floral dresses.

- Ma, did you see my floral dress? - Since when do you wear dresses?

I can't find my floral dress. Can you lend me yours?

- Is it for Misha? - I'll tell you later. Can I borrow it or not?

Write to her, dumbass. Write to her!

She loves you. Write to her!

You promised me you would love her.

Write to her. Now!

A miracle! I'm a lamedvavnik!

I'm a lamedvavnik! I'm a lamedvavnik!

I luv you. Saive-mee!

- Hi. - Hi.

- Are you Isaac Moritz? - No, his father.

His father? Alma Mereminski's husband?

Not the husband. Her lover.

Leo?

- How old are you? - With or without the sales tax?

- Did you survive the war? - I survived everything.

Is it worth surviving everything?

- Is it raining? - No.

You're crying.

Really?

So, your name is Alma?

Yes.

It's a long story.

English subtitles by -=tosem=-