Original subtitles

"YOLO Silver Destiny,"

episode one -- same show, different name

or some shit.

[ Dance music plays, indistinct conversations ]

♪♪

Hi! Uh, can I get a water? Thanks.

Yeah, no worries, love. Uh, that'll be $12.50.

Really? Uh, okay.

[Slurring] Oi, come back to the dance floor, you dog!

We're doing shots!

I'll be back soon! I just need some water.

I don't want to get too drunk.

Oh, come on. Don't be such a pussy, Sarah.

Just have one gong shot! They were free!

Ugh! What is this?

Dunno. That guy in the corner gave 'em to me.

I did spike them, but it's only because

I love seeing other people have fun, honestly.

[ Gasping ]

I think I need to dance, Rachel!

Where can I dance?

Right here!

Yeah, Sarah, love you!

You're my best friend, Rachel! I fucking love you! You're my best mate!

You're my best friend! I love you! I love you, Rachel!

Let's party forever!

This isn't even a nightclub.

It's my house.

Rachel, I should say this more often,

but I love you so much!

I love you, too, Sarah!

Here's to the bestest, bestest women,

our bestest life -- together forever!

Forever!

[ Kids chattering ]

[ Groaning ]

Rachel! Rachel, wake up.

I think we're at the playground at St. Mary's.

[ Groans ]

[ All screaming ]

What is going on here?

Well, well, well. Sarah and Rachel.

I should have known this is how you were going to turn out.

Sister Morrison! Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

We had a wild night... praying.

We're leaving now, though.

And still hanging around this Rachel, are we?

She's a demon, Sarah. She's a demon.

Oi.

[ Sizzles ]

No, I guess you're right.

I expect this sort of behavior from Rachel,

but not from you, Sarah.

It's a terrible shame that you have chosen the path of...

[ Thunder crashes ] ...evil.

Come along, kiddies.

All: [Chanting] You got yelled at.

Ha-ha-ha ha-ha-ha!

[ Pop! ]

[ Birds chirping, dog barking ]

Fuck, I added so many cunts on Facebook last night.

Look at this dickhead.

I think he was a bricklayer or something.

Had a pretty good conversation, actually.

I'm still mortified, Rachel.

I can't believe our old principal saw us like that.

Oh, who gives a fuck, Sarah?

That bitch is probably just jealous

of our fucking sick lifestyle.

[ Coughs, spits ]

[ Sighs ] Sister Morrison's right.

We haven't changed.

Shut the fuck up, Sarah.

[ Twinkle! ]

Fuck, yeah! Sausage sizzle!

Let's get some fucking brekkie! I'm starving.

Ohh. No.

I just want to crawl into bed

and watch, like, a movie or something.

Sausage sizzle for brekkie!

[ Thud! ] You didn't see that, did ya?

No, I was just looking at that tree over there. Okay, good.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Oh, this is shit.

Sorry, Sarah. Yeah, we can go home.

Oh, my God.

I've never seen such a beautiful garden before.

Hello. I am Sister One.

And I am Sister Two.

Thank you for coming to our backyard...

Vegan sausage sizzle.

Ugh! Vegan?!

Seriously, let's get the fuck out of here, Sarah.

No, wait. What is this place?

It's magical.

Sister One, would you like to answer this?

Yes, Sister Two, I think I can.

We founded this little backyard commune back in 1972.

1973, actually,

I don't mean to embarrass you, but just to be accurate.

Thank you, Sister Two, I appreciate

and welcome you correcting me.

It all started on a hot and creamy summer day in 1973.

While Father was yelling at the TV again

on a Saturday about the footy,

we were looking into each other's eyes in the backyard,

playing what some call "The Staring Game."

It seemed to go on forever, and then it happened.

We both said it.

Both: Let's start a spiritual mecca right here in the backyard.

[ Both gasp ] And kiss.

I mean, yeah, no, just the first thing we said.

Yes, just the first thing.

And that is how it all...

started. Began -- started, yes.

Oh, you've got a herb garden.

Yes, indeed. Come along, Sarah.

I will show it to you in detail.

Would you like a yummy vegan sausage sizzle sandwich, Rachel?

No! I hate that shit, and I hate you.

And I hate your dumb fucking sister. Aah!

Ah, yes, hatred --

a pure and natural emotion, which I welcome.

Well, if you don't like us, maybe you'd like our brothers --

the brothers instead.

Hi, Rachel. We're the brothers.

Commune brothers. I'm Ian, the drum lord.

And I'm Christopher.

Would you like a hug, Mademoiselle Rachel?

Huggies! Ugh!

I've never seen anything so beautiful in my life.

Did you grow all this yourself?

Yes, with a lot of love and care...

and homemade fertilizer.

Wow.

I always wanted to have, like, a garden

I could go where I could be one with nature.

[ Sighs ] But I probably couldn't grow anything.

Sarah, I can sense you have a caring soul.

That is just what is needed to nurture a plant.

Really? Rachel says I care too much.

There's no such thing, Sarah.

Yeah, I basically make my own kombucha.

Grew my own SCOBY from the mother SCOBY.

It's a whole process.

I can send you link, actually, on messenger

if you fling over your Facey to me.

Ugh, smells like shit. Give me some.

Here you go. It's hibiscus elderberry.

Ugh. Frickin' hell.

I feel...natural.

Yeah, that's probiotics for you. [ Snorts ]

Everyone, it's time.

Time for the healing bonfire of wisdom.

Come along, everyone, onto Snuggles,

our enlightened guide.

The campfire is quite a way down the backyard,

so we need to have a bit of a ride on Snuggles,

the creature I just mentioned.

Oh, Snuggles!

Yeah, okay. I'm comin', I'm comin'.

Here we go!

That's me!

My name is Snuggles, and I cannot leave this place.

We're gathered here to pay homage

to the purple fire of Blue Ga.

Sit down and get comfortable, everybody.

We begin with three collective Om's.

Om.

Om.

Om.

♪♪

♪♪

[ Distant laughter ]

I am Blue Ga, the purple fire god.

And you, Sarah, you know what you must do.

You must grow your own garden.

I bless you with the aura of nature.

Okay. I will. For sure.

Alright. See ya.

♪♪

Rachel, you mustn't --

Where the fuck am I? Who the fuck are you?

I am Blue Ga, the purple fire god.

Rachel, this is your destiny

if you keep going down this evil path.

I shall bless you with the aura of healing

to steer you away from this.

[ Laughs, retches ]

Aah! Homemade kombucha vomit!

My one weakness.

How couldn't I see this coming?

I'm a god, for God's sakes.

Aaaaaah!

Thank you, Rachel, for smiting Blue Ga.

We have been trying to do that for thousands of years.

'Kay.

You must keep striving, Rachel,

for your destiny is to dominate

as empress!

'Kay.

[ Both gasp ]

[ All gasp ]

You -- You eviscerated the fire of Blue Ga!

That fire has been burning for thousands of years!

Oi, what the fuck? That was our God! Yeah, what the hell?

That was, like, the whole reason we have the spiritual mecca. What an idiot.

Wait. I'm sorry. I don't understand what happened.

One minute, I was having a wonderful dream, and now --

Sarah, shut the fuck up and run!

[ Both panting ]

[ Gunshots, dogs barking ]

Aah!

Made off!

Well...

[ Spits ]

...we'll wait for sundown

and get the dogs to sniff out their scent.

Yeah, what's comin' for 'em is gonna get 'em.

[ Spits ]

[ Panting ]

Oh, hello, Sarah. Did you have a nice night?

Um, yeah, overall, it was actually quite nice.

You smell like cigarettes, Sarah.

Oh, i-it's 'cause I was at a bonfire.

Oh, okay, 'cause I was just gonna ask you

if I could bum one off you. [ Chuckles ]

I'm just kidding, Sarah. Calm down.

Alright, no, I won't make any more jokes.

That's it. No more jokes. If no one's gonna laugh at them,

just forget about it. Just forget about it.

No more. That's it. Say nothing.

[ Insects chirping ]

Yeah. I've never had something.

This will be my something.

I'm gonna grow a garden and stuff.

This is a nice time to light my vanilla candle

to celebrate this decision.

Just shut up, Sarah!

I'm fantasizing over here!

Empress Rachel.

Yeah, that does actually sound pretty sick.

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