Original subtitles

Good day, Stafford.

I'm Rick Stockwell,

filling in for Samantha Burns, who's feeling a bit under the weather.

Samantha, we're all dying to have you back with us, and we wish you a speedy recovery.

With that, let's head on down to Gene Porter, who has news

about the alarming increase of wait time at Stafford Memorial Hospital.

Gene, what can you tell us about this developing situation?

[digital static]

Gene...

[snarling]

Gene!!!

♪ Oh, yeah. ♪

♪ Oh, no. ♪

♪ I've got these people here ♪

♪ telling me how they understand ♪

♪ they've been here before and walked through that door ♪

♪ into becoming a man. ♪ Darn kids are going to be the death of me.

♪ But I don't think they understands a thing ♪ Sid, Sydney, get over here...now.

♪ as I'm climbing up the walls ♪ Come on. Alright, now.

These are for tonight.

♪ Ocean of emotion crashing on my shore ♪ Okay. No, no excuses. Do you understand me?

Do you understand? All right.

♪ Oh, all to hell it all ♪ Go...Go!

♪ Mystification about the education ♪

♪ that they really want ♪ I swear they're going to be the death of me.

♪ fumbling in cars reaching for the stars ♪

♪ Oh no, just figure it out ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪ Oh nooo, no ♪

I'm picking you up around six thirty

and we're going to go to the...

...that's for you

♪ Mystification about the education ♪

♪ that they really want ♪ What!

So I'm not going to be if I get you around six thirty ♪ fumbling in cars ♪

♪ reaching for the stars ♪ Well yeah!

♪ On no, just figure it out ♪ I mean, I can just get you at eight.

♪ Oh yeah ♪

♪ Oh, no, no, no. ♪

Dude you got to stay. ♪ It will be alright ♪

[eerie echoing sounds]

Kill me.

Ahem.

[grunt]

Uh, Chef, I, I , I, I

I need you to stay late.

[disapproving growl]

Well, now I have a note from the principal here.

Some kids are going to be staying after, and you need to give them sustenance.

Do you understand?

[disapproving growl]

Thank you for your cooperation. Ahem.

[nervous laugh]

[growl]

[melodic hum] Mm mm mm mm mm.

[school bell rings]

I didn't order...

They always mess things up. Always.

Oh, good. Glad you're here. Come here, come here, come here.

I'd like to show you what we're doing here.

Okay., now, first off, everything is fragile...

Glad you could join us. Come on in, please.

Please come in. You, too.

Come on. I haven't got a day.

I don't want to be here all evening, and I want to get this assignment done.

You too, missy. Come on.

Get over here.

Pay attention.

Okay, now, this is your assignment.

I want to get this done this evening.

The rat maze, I got several pieces

[ominous creepy sounds]

So the fatter one is Ginger.?.

Essentially. Yes. I've nicknamed the more sedentary

one Ginger and the more active one Fred.

You know, smooth moves like Fred Astaire.

I think Ginger might be a dude to you.

Ewe!

Actually, they're both female.

Nice observation skills Bull.

Hey, wasn't Ginger Rogers like Fred Astaire's dance partner or something?

Why is she the sedentary one?

So misogynistic!

We can change the names if you want to.

Whatever.

Listen, Frankie, let's just not get too caught up in the names.

The important thing is that we can observe their behavior.

And so we can see how their lifestyle affects their cognitive ability.

Put your money on the active one, boys.

We all know it's survival of the fittest. Like Dagwood said.

Darwin!

Whatever freaks, it's a fact.

It's always the strongest who survive in the end.

Hey, where are there three cages?

Oh, there were actually three rats, but.

Well, you see, Ginger.

Well, rat cannibalism is actually very-- Ewe, never mind.

What?

Dude, she the rat.

Who?

Frankie?!?

NOOOOOOO

No, Ginger did.

Oh, whatever.

I don't know I was signing up to babysit rats.

Actually, Alexis I specifically chose this

because I thought it would be pretty easy for us to get this done tonig--

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Are you saying that this was all your idea?

Well, yeah, but--

This whole...the rats--

Well, no--

Us! On a Friday!

Okay, Not tonight, but listen--

Come on, man!

Not tonight. That's not what I meant.

This is so lame.

I can't believe it.

But I actually agree with little Miss Pompoms.

Listen, guys, it's really not that bad, and it won't take that long.

Besides, we know I'll be doing most of the work anyways.

Now, if we can just get this done, you all can go back to living

your very important lives.

And how are we doing...

my students?

I see you've made some progress.

Tell me.

Have you made any preliminary

observations and hypotheses?

There is a general consensus between us that the more active of the two rats

will have at least a slight advantage in cognitive testing.

Yeah, what he said and

I have observed that the more active rats

eat more like, you know, other rats.

You can't fool me, students.

You need to focus on your work.

Now, you knew when you took up my class that the labs would require

time to put in.

And you waited to the last minute And here you are.

And now it's on you.

Now, no one.

No one is leaving here tonight till I see preliminary results.

Okay.

Yeah.

We better be done with this by, like, eight,

because I have a date tonight with Mason.

Yeah, he's picking you up here.

So whatever.

Okay, we just better be done soon.

Let me be perfectly clear.

No one leaves tonight until I see results.

Understand?

So no visitors tonight?

What?

What you children are going to be the death of me.

No more distractions,

no more phones, hand 'em in.

You're killing me Smalls!

Yours too.

Seriously? Yes, ma'am.

I don't want to be here all evening.

And you all need to focus.

Weird flex. But, okay.

Wow, thanks.

That was smooth.

Whatever.

Okay, let's just let these disgusting things run around so I can go out tonight.

I know you might not understand,

because it's not like you have anything else to do, Frankie.

Ouch, chill.

Just because I'm not a cookie cutter Barbie doesn't mean I don't have a life.

A life?

What would you know about a life?

You think black...is the new...black?

Hey, Alexis, how about you grab Ginger?

It's about time we get a trial run

The carnival one!?!

Cannibal!

Yeah, sure. Whatever.

She looks hungry.

I hope you don't bite me

now like she can eat you.

Yeah, but it can still bite, right?

A little rat nip? That ain't nothing.

My brother Dexter.

Now he's a fricking biter.

We were fighting in the morning, and he really got me good.

Check it out.

Ahem...Thank you all

for your stimulating discussion and hard work.

And you, can you at least try to help out a little?

We need to see how long it takes Ginger to get to her food.

[mouse squeaks] [rock music]

Dude,

my stomach. I think...

I think I'm getting hungry.

Man, I wonder what they're making for dinner.

So, like, how many more of these rat maze things

do we have to do before we can just, like, name a winner and get out of here?

Well, unfortunately, there

hasn't been a statistical difference between the two conditions yet.

A statitica what?

Simply put, we need to do more trials.

And besides, we're out of food.

So why don't you guys just take another five, and I'll go get more pellets

And just where do you think you are scurrying off to?

Oh, well, I was running to get more rat food

so we can do some more trials.

Wait, where's that odd looking girl?

Uh, Francine. She really prefers to be called Frankie.

And, I don't know, Sir.

Perhaps the bathroom. I mean--

Speak of the she devil!

I can't have you running around the school at night.

Now you need to tell me if you ever need to leave the lab for whatever reason.

Like to go get a pizza?

No sir, absolutely not.

Until you're done, I'm responsible for you.

And as such, no one is to leave this school

for whatever reason. As for your sustenance.

I've asked the cook to remain behind, to prepare your dinner,

which should be ready sometime soon.

So I must ask you to stay on task.

Only a proper lab report which characterizes the experiment will be accepted!

Ugh. What a douche.

So anyway, about the cook.

I went to the kitchen to see what was for dinner.

You're welcome Bull.

And the cook was just standing in the middle of the room,

staring at the wall...like a statue.

Really freaky.

Nothing's cooking.

So then I ask him, what's for dinner?

And he just shushes me.

And gives me this really chilling look.

Soul piercing, really.

You are so dramatic.

Whatever.

It was weird.

Like serial killer weird.

I just thought it was best

to get out of there before he decided to put me on the menu.

I think Bull has the right idea. Order takeout.

Pizza.

Pizza. Pizza.

Another fascinating story, really.

But, guys, we just need to get back to work here.

And besides, I'm

sure there's a logical explanation for as to why all of this is going on.

Just adults can be odd sometimes, right?

Anyways...

We need to do more trials.

I'll go get more rat pellets.

[distant crash of pots and pans]

[eerie music]

[more crashing of pots and pans]

[eerie music]

[more crashing of pots and pans]

[eerie music]

[loud grunt] [scream]

Shhh. Stop your screaming boy.

Those damn rats!

They're everywhere.

You see where it went?

Uhhhhh.....uhhhhh

Oh, you're one of those rat kids.

What are you doing in here?

Kitchen's closed!

Can't you see I'm busy?

I am. I just...I heard. I just.

I was just wondering what time dinner is?

Dinner will be ready when I say it's ready!

Now go back to playing with

your little rat friends.

[chef grunts]

[mouse squeaks]

Oh, hey, Oz.

We're getting better numbers from Fred.

I think you would say we're starting to see

a statistical difference.

So, I see you brought the rat food.

But man...

when do we get to eat?

Funny you should say that. Bull

I actually bumped into the cook.

And Frankie's right. He's clinically insane.

And besides, I saw what he's making for dinner,

but I'm not so sure we're going to want to eat.

Yeah, well, it better not be loaded with carbs.

One of us has got to watch her figure.

Listen, I'm not so sure about the carbohydrate content.

I'm not even sure if it's fit for human consumption.

Oh, come on, Oz. It can't be that bad.

At least you didn't try to kill you.

All I'm saying is that what

I saw in there would make this stuff look tasty.

Let's just look at it.

Okay, so show me what's going on here.

You saw different numbers, but

we didn't have any different numbers, clearly.

Yeah, sorry.

I wrote their behaviors, their numbers, like it's all right here

under the--

[melodic chime]

Excuse me. Ahem.

Is this on?

Students, please proceed in an orderly fashion to lab B and enjoy

your freshly prepared sustenance.

Thank you.

Dude.

Are you sure you don't want to finish that?

Because I could totally eat it.

Ugh, you are such a pig.

Seriously, dude, that's disgusting.

The food is so gross.

It's probably left over from the eighties.

I was thinking.

I mean, look at us.

I think maybe Professor Romero is doing an experiment on us,

you know, trying to see if we'll eat this stuff.

Who knows what's in it.

Just look at this food.

This room. Our rats trapped in a maze project.

I think maybe-- Sure Frankie.

Conspiracies much?

No, I'm serious.

Of course you are.

If you ever noticed how he kind of just

lurks around and watches us,

I think maybe, just maybe, we're

he's rats...in here.

Come on, man.

Like I said, I don't think this stuff is suitable for human consumption.

Huh. Well, if that's the case, Bull's safe.

Even though I think he's had enough

[loud banging on window]

Anyways, we should probably get going so we can finish our experiment

and just get out of here and get some real food.

[Bull's stomach turns as he farts and belches profusely]

O. M. G. Bull!

That so noxious Oh, I.

I don't think I should be eaten that much.

I think I overdid it.

No, dip Sherlock.

We should really go.

[Bull's stomach turns more as he farts and belches again]

Damn dude! Again?!

I don't feel so good.

I got to go take a dump. Huh?

How could he be so stupid?

I got to admit, I'm not a picky eater, but that stuff was not food.

Speaking of eating,

did you guys realize that Ginger isn't eating that much anymore?

Even after she goes through the maze, she still isn't even touching her treat.

Do you think maybe she had too much to eat?

I don't realize you're paying that much attention, but,

yeah, I've noticed Ginger's behavior in our logs

and it's difficult to tell whether she's not eating because she's not hungry

or if something else is causing her lack of appetite.

Yeah, I think both noxious fumes are contributing to my lack of appetite.

Where is the fat boy?

Why can you not just all stay together?

Oh, uh, Bull, he wasn't feeling well, so he went to the restroom.

I think he might have indigestion.

You tell Mr.

Bull I want to see him when he returns.

I will be waiting in my office.

Yes, Professor.

Come on, you guys.

You gotta admit.

Professor Romero is a bit strange.

I think he pays more attention.

To our behavior than the experiment.

I hate to agree with anything that vampire says,

but the professor is a bit...odd.?.

[distant car engines racing and sirens]

[police car sirens]

[tires screeching]

[explosion]

Whoa, what, the...

Oh, what happened?

Uh, the lights went out. Duh.

Nice one, Frankie.

Alexis, look, I'm sure it's just--

[melodic chime]

Students, I need to go to the basement work room immediately!

Grab everything and go now. GO!

Frankie, the professor needs us to get down there, so can you please just help?

I am helping, Oz!

Can we just go, please?

Oh, Mason. I'm not ready to die yet.

I'm not ready to kill you...yet.

I can't see anything. Oh, my God.

I can't see anything. Mason!

I wish I was with Mason!

...this step.

Oh, thank God.

Can you quit going on and on now?

Guys, enough.

Can we just get down to the workroom? My arms are about to fall off.

Why is it so dark and like--

Oh, my Gosh. Just chill!

Watch the corner.

Mason.

All right, this is good.

Let's just set our stuff up down here.

What?

We're really going to keep doing this stuff

down here?

Don't you think something crazy is happening out there?

Do you really think that Professor Strange is worried about us

finishing this project?

I don't know. I don't know. I just don't know.

All I know is it Professor Romero needs us to finish our project.

Okay.

Don't you mean your project?

This whole rat maze thing was all your idea.

And if you ask me, you are just as weird as he is, Oz.

I'm so done with this sh--

Hey, Alexis, you signed up for this class, too, and it requires lab work.

Okay, so I'm sorry if that makes you late for your stupid date or whatever,

but it's not my fault that the power went out and we're stuck down here.

So can you please just help get Ginger ready for her next run?

Okay. Now Frankie.

So I see...

[distant banging]

That was upstairs.

Hey, guys.

What do you want me to do with...?

I guess it's just you and me now.

[electrical buzz]

[scream]

[electrical buzz]

Oh, you dirty.

Where are you?

Don't you...Ugh!

When I find you, I'm going to personally feed you to the other rat!

[distant crash of pots and pans]

Kitchen

[eerie music]

Hello?

Yeah, this place is getting creepy by the minute.

Hey, Oz, check this out.

Do you think this is blood?

Hard to tell.

Maybe the chef cut himself or cut one of those rats he was chasing.

There are rats running around in here.

I mean, I don't know.

That's what the chef said.

Though his objective awareness is questionable.

At any rate, I'm sufficiently creeped out by now.

Should probably get back to the basement, wrap it up and get out of here.

Yeah, I'm with you.

Rats, blood, crazy cooks.

Oh, my!

Alexis, you'll never believe what we just....

Oh, my God. What happened to your finger?

Where's Bull?

He come back yet?

hmmm, uh, that...

I don't know. No.

Hey, that rat Ginger...

bit my finger.

[stifled giggle]

And, well, she ran off somewhere.

Oh, no.

She's got to be around here somewhere.

I keep listening, trying to hear her scratching or whatever.

Well, we have to find that rat before Professor Romero finds out

or this whole night will have been for nothing.

Oh, no, no.

I'm not doing this crap with you guys again.

No offense.

We're just going to have to find Ginger

What's going on in here, huh?

I keep hearing rustling out there.

Wait a second.

Have you all been wondering about.

I brought you down here for a reason.

Where is that Bull?

I swear I heard him sulking around upstairs.

So, professor, we actually just finished the observation phase of our experiment,

and we just need to collect the data and write a report...why, what's going on.

Oh, yes.

That...

nothing to worry about children.

There was a vehicular accident outside.

A power poll hit the car and caught on fire.

I thought it would be more prudent and safe if you were down here

away from the windows.

You know, for safety purposes.

But you're safe there. All is well.

You may resume.

I'm still unhappy about Bull.

Send him to me when you see him.

And hurry this up. Wrap it up.

I don't know how long the generator will last.

And I don't want to be around when the backup power runs out of juice.

Yes. Yes, of course Professor.

We've got to find Ginger.

Sure.

But I don't know if I believe

what the professor was saying about what's going on.

Guys, my finger-- Shhh!

[distant argument]

Do you?

Do you hear that?

No. Hear what?-- Shhh!

[distant Romero screaming]

Listen.

I caught the end of it, and it can't be good.

Maybe it's just Bull, you know?

Frankie, we should probably go check up on him.

You stay here and look for Ginger.

This isn't good.

I can't believe he bit me!

What the hell's wrong with him?-- Did he just say someone bit him?

[distant gurgling]

Don't they have any respect? God!

[distant gurgling]

[loud fart]

[mouse squeaking]

I think that's Ginger.

You see what's up with Bull?

I'm going to go get the rat.

[snarling and grunting]

[gnawing and slurping]

[hissing]

Oh, don't pee, don't pee, don't pee, don't pee...

Alexis, there is some weird stuff going down...out.

Alexis.

I'm going to kill her.

Professor Romero.

Is that you?

Are you okay in there?

Professor-- [banging on door]

[zombie snarls]

Oh, man.

What the...?

This is not happening.

I'm out of here.

Oh, my God.

He did not!

[Alexis sobbing]

Alexis!

He bit me!

Who bit you, Ginger?

I know, oh, my gosh.

Okay, look--

[rapid shallow breaths]

Oh my god!

Oh my god!

Okay, okay, I'm, I'm gonna go get you some help...

Okay.

Just...stay there.

Don't...Don't move.

[distant gurgling]

[scream]

[zombie hiss]

What....What the--

It's me.

It's Oz. It's me.

It's me. It's me.

Sh.

What the H?

Alexis is hurt bad.

Sh...

I think. I think I saw Bull, but he

he had turned into some sort of a I don't know,

a zombie!

This is impossible

from what I've seen and smelled tonight.

I certainly think it is.

How could this happen?

Do you think this is all part of the professor's twisted experiment on us?

I mean, do you think he had the cook do it?

Maybe it was in that awful food.

That stuff was really nasty.

And Bull was the only one who ate it.

Yeah, perhaps.

But Professor Romero was mumbling something about how someone bit him.

Maybe that was Bull. He did seem sick.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. You're right.

Karma's a bitch.

Oh, and Professor Ratzo,

he was in his office moaning, you know, like a zombie.

Maybe it was him or Bull who bit Alexis.

Took a big chunk right out of her face.

Oh, my God.

I don't think she's going to make it.

We got to get out of here.

There's the Professor and Alexis, too.

I don't understand.

I'm sorry, Oz.

I'm sorry.

Maybe it wasn't the professor or the food.

You know, Alexis was bit.

Maybe it has something to do with that.

And Bull, he was saying that his little brother beat him this morning, too.

It just.

It just doesn't make any sense. I just.

Regardless, we've got to get out of here before the zombies

or whatever it is to trys to snack on us, too.

Let's just go.

Yeah. Oh. Wait?

What about the cook?

Oh--

Shouldn't we like--

Well, the thing is, I don't think he's going to make it.

When I walked in on Bull, he was munching on what looked like the cook's arm.

Yeah, I think we're on our own here.

We should just get out of here.

Wait.

I don't know if you've noticed, but brilliant professor zombified

really did chain all the doors shut

Frick!

Maybe we could go to his office and get his keys.

Yeah.

You have fun with that.

That's easier said than done.

Last I knew, Bitey McBitey Face was locked in his office,

and I ain't going back to check

There's got to be another way out

How about the lower loading docks?

We've loaded tons of sets through there before.

Well, I mean, wouldn't that be locked, too?

Yeah, but being a theater kid has its perks.

We keep a spare set of keys backstage, you know, for all the after hours load outs.

Oh, my God.

I think I love you!

[nervous giggle]

You know, in, like, a totally congenial, sort of, kind of way.

Um, so, anyways, we should get going.

Uh huh.

[zombie snarls]

You stay here here and get the keys.

I'll go distract Bull then meet you at the dock.

Hey, Bull,

you big lummox

come munch on me.

Come on. Over here.

Come get me.

Come on.

[distant] Come on.

[eerie rattles]

[loud thud echos]

[loud foot thuds echo]

[zombie hiss and snarl]

[scream]

[furious snarls]

No!

[gagging]

[projectile vomit]

Oh, my God.

[furious snarls]

[mop hit]

Oh, my God.

Oz, thank you. I thought I was a goner.

[zombie moans]

[mop whack]

I'm starting to realize

that killing zombies isn't as easy as it seems in movies.

Luckily, they're super clumsy.

Hey.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Let's just get out of here.

That's.. [foot thump]

for being such a douche.

Professor.

And that's.. [foot thump]

for trying to take a bite out of me.

Okay, I'm good now.

Let's go.

[zombie growls]

[zombie snarl]

Bull's right about one thing.

Survival does favor the fittest.

And I, for one, need to work on my cardio.

[zombie snarl]

Come on!

[furious snarls]

Dude this is so not my day!

I know this is kinda obvious, but

could you go any faster?

Like I didn't think of that already!

[zombie growls]

Whoa!

retained digital grasp strength!

Fascinating.

Whoa.

Bull!

I don't know how much longer I can hold this!

I'm going as fast as I can!

Uh, Oz!

Let's Go!

Hey, hey, hey Officer! We need help!

Oh, my God.

They're everywhere.

This is the freaking end!

No! Don't say that.

Everything will be all right.

♪ My Dear ♪

No, it won't.

♪ Oh, my, my ♪

♪ You gonna die! ♪

♪ Standing on top of the world ♪

♪ Got it all in your hands ♪

♪ With the sun shining down on your perfect little life there ♪

♪ Oh, you got it all planned ♪

♪ Suddenly the clouds the clouds do form ♪

♪ I see them in my way ♪

♪ Now you're trapped now ♪

♪ shake down, get it all right now ♪

♪ c'mon I see no way ♪

♪ My dear ♪

♪ Oh, my, my ♪

♪ You gonna to die ♪

♪ Oh, I hear you fighting ♪

♪ for your life ♪

♪ Don't know how you got here ♪

♪ but here you are ♪

♪ come on, now ♪

♪ It's do or die ♪

♪ Oh, now, here you fighting ♪

♪ for your life ♪

♪ don't need this, man ♪

♪ what's the plan ♪

♪ come on now ♪

♪ fight or flight ♪

♪ My dear ♪

♪ Oh, my, my ♪

♪ you gonna die ♪

♪ trapped in a world ♪

♪ that feeds ♪

♪ that you don't understand ♪

♪ Chased by an adversary ♪

♪ wants you to die now ♪

♪ On, game must win ♪

♪ I know it ain't fair ♪

♪ but the justice of it all ♪

♪ is that nobody gives a sh** ♪

♪ We can dial this back ♪

♪ can talk about it later now ♪

♪ if we survive this sh** ♪

♪ My dear ♪

♪ Oh, my, my ♪

♪ you gonna die ♪

♪ Oh, I hear you fighting ♪

♪ for your life ♪

♪ Don't know how you got here ♪

♪ but here you are ♪

♪ come on, now ♪

♪ It's fight or flight ♪

♪ Oh, now, here you fighting ♪

♪ for your life ♪

♪ don't need this, man ♪

[digital static] ♪ what's the plan ♪

♪ come on now, do or die. ♪ This is the emergency broadcast system.

This is not a test.

Repeat, this is not a test. Stay tuned for further instructions.

This is not a test.

[grunting]

[grunting]

[growling]

[furious snarl]

[digital static]