Original subtitles

- Howdy fellas!

Them's pretty lights, what'cha doing, making a movie?

Shh...

- Good boy.

- Good morning Canyonland it's 9:05,

you're listening to KCNY, your buddy Billy.

Take a look-see at weather today, mostly cloudy today

with gusty winds so watch out for your hats

and I'll be right here I'm not going anywhere.

Playing more country classics from the

country classic coral, on KCNY.

- Why'd you do that?

I'd rather not have the urban cowboy stuff this early, I'm allergic.

- When in Rome dear do as the Romans do.

When in Rome dear, I go shoppinq.

Thank god for the wilderness.

Thank you.

- How is it? - Soqqy.

I hate microwave croissants.

Well, it's the price you pay for rouqhinq it, dear.

Looks Iike somebody just checked out of the Hilton.

Oh, maybe he's Iookinq for a safefy valve, too.

You guys miqht have a Iot to talk about.

- No, he could be trouble - Oh, come on now!

Where's your sense of adventure I've been hearinq about so much lately?

So?

Croissant?

I didn't catch your name.

- Reilly. - First or last?

Both.

Well, I'm Ken Griffiths, this is my wife Cheri.

I'm an attorney.

You know, that pressure, sometimes you just...

You gotta unwind. I... Huntinq's my release.

You headed anywhere in particular?

- Nope, just cross country as long as the ride holds out.

The only way to go, it takes one of these babies.

And good company.

Seems to me you got both.

Yeah, but not the time.

One week, seven short days of freedom I tell ya.

- Big case? - Court would be a biq adventure for Ken.

See, he's a show-business attorney, rock and roll.

He draws up contracts with assholes,

and then he sues them when they don't meet their end of the bargain. Riqht, dear?

Sometimes when he's out huntinq, he pretends like the deer are his clients.

It's wish fulfillment you know, it makes him very vicious.

I can see that.

- Uh-oh. - What is it?

It, my dear, is the unmistakable aroma of ham and eggs breakfast.

No more soqqy croissants for this boy.

Morning!

Can I get you all anything to start with, coffee or something?

- You know, I'd like a... - Uh, just water.

Water, fine, coming riqht up.

- No I'd like a, I'd like a beer.

- You got it! - Make that two.

You got it!

Morning.

Well, howdy, darling.

Morninq, Charley!

Sit anywhere you like, I'll be with you in a second!

Ah, take your time, darling. No hurry.

- There you go. - Ah, great!

Thank you.

Well, it's not exactly continental cuisine.

Honey, this is real meat and potatoes country.

I wouldn't.

You don't know where that's been.

What am I supposed to do, huh?

Order Perrier? Get real!

Fine it's your body.

Yeah, and I know what's good for it.

Anything else for you today, Charley?

Steak must've been a little touqh.

Oh, no, Charley!

What the fuck is the matter with you?

Hey I'm talking to you, what the fuck is the matter with...

Excuse me, excuse me.

- Oh, shit!

Benny! Benny, this is Lori!

Benny, gimme the sheriff. Quick!

Get him, Reilly!

Charley, that's enouqh!

- First name Robert, last name Durell, phonetically...

Let him go!

Charley... Come on.

Charley.

Don't do it, it's me. Come on!

Charley!

Yeah, I copy. Did you tell the sheriff?

Dispatch, can you copy?

- Can you hear me?

Damn!

- Now what? - We wait.

The sheriff will have a few questions for you.

I'll relieve you of that piece.

That's the kind of thanks I qet for doing your dirty work?

Thanks.

The piece?

A gun.

For Christ's sakes, he had a gun!

So what, Counselor? 50 million Americans do.

- Oh you thought it'd be an adventure to pick up a god damned hitchhiker! Pertect!

We can use statements from you, too.

Really? Well, Officer, you forget it, do you understand?

Now, I believe in doing my bit just like anybody else,

but riqht now I'm gettinq the hell out of here!

- Get in the RV now! - No, wait a minute!

You don't like it you shoot me. Hmm? Shoot me!

Can't believe it, we pick up a lunatic!

Oh, wait a minute, don't you think you're overreacting just a little bit?

I mean, maybe he's a policeman or something?

Oh, riqht, riqht, riqht, he's a fed. No, he's a CIA!

I got it, he's Dirty Harry, eh?

- Well, he saved your life! - Uh, please, get in!

Hey, pal, I'll see you on the front page, huh?

Hey...

Hey!

Hey, you got my bag!

Did anybody ever hear that this is supposed to be a quiet town?

What the hell is goinq on?

I don't know, my radio's dead!

- Mine too.

He just went nuts,

stabbed Lori in the hand and tried to shoot me.

And?

He shot old Charley in the leg.

I asked him to stick around in case you had any questions.

You bet I do.

I'll waive my riqhts if you have a look at old Charley's leg.

Damn!

What the hell are you doing? Training for the Indy 500?

Well, the fucking engine died!

Goddamn battery. Jesus!

Well, I guess that solves the croissant problem.

Come on, we gotta go back there.

Blow this pop stand, let's go.

My hero!

Now are you walkinq, or are you waitinq?

- I'll wait. - Great, I'll walk.

Wait, I'II come with you!

Shut the door, Jesus!

Shut up!

Yeah, I read about that.

They kicked you off the force, didn't they?

Should've give me a fucking medal.

That's the difference, son.

Out here killing a rapist is a duty, not a crime.

She was only twelve years old, god dammit.

Commissioner had this thinq about bad press.

Why you hitch-hikinq?

Unemployment sort of... Iimited my travel options.

- Relatives? - Enemies.

One of the assholes got away.

They always do, son.

God dammit, Charley, I don't wanna hurt you!

Do you mind? I'm tryinq to catch my breath!

Ho!

- How you doing? - Good, how you doing?

- That your Startire back there? - Yeah, we broke down.

Where you headed?

Well to tell you the truth, we're Iookinq for a car rental, or a...

- None of those around here. - Alriqht.

What about... Can you give us a lift to the police station, the sheriff, yeah?

- Sure! Climb in back. - Alright.

- We'll get you there. - Thanks a lot!

Come on!

Not one word! Get in.

Get...!

City folks!

Heaven's sake, Sheriff, I was only gonna be a minute!

You son of a bitch cocksucker, what the hell you think you're doing?

I just had this car painted!

Yeah!

Yeah, bitch!

What the hell is going on?

Your Pa's gone crazy, he's taking on the whole damn town!

The bank foreclosed on him just last week, Roy.

- Yeah I know. - Want me to talk to him?

Just get his gun, Larry!

He's already killed somebody.

Go.

Pa?

Pa, it's me.

Pa, Ma's been worried sick about you. She's home waiting for you.

That's right, Pa.

Come on, let's go home.

Come on now.

Come on, give me the gun.

Mother of God!

- Charley!

I always wondered what would make a man snap like that.

I gotta tell ya, Sheriff, you got one weird town here.

About the only excitement we ever used to have

was a couple of Friday night DUIs.

Until Leroy's truck this morning.

What about it?

Somebody shot it full of holes and pushed it in the river.

We found Leroy inside, he was... gettinq kind of ripe.

He must have been in there a couple of days.

You didn't find anything strange about that?

Course I did.

People in this town don't go around usinq each other for target practice,

without some kind of reason at least.

They didn't use to.

Problem is, now you got four dead bodies.

Yeah, well, that's his problem.

Look, I don't want any part of this, you understand?

And I want to go on record riqht now!

Don't get excited Mr. Griffiths, nobody is asking you to volunteer.

Yeah, I don't suppose

you have anything that resembles a rental car service here, would you?

- You have to see Floyd. - Floyd?

That's right, Floyd.

Well, forgive my ignorance on rural celebrities, Sheriff,

but just who in the hell is Floyd?

He's the owner of the local junk yard, he's a mechanic.

He might be able to get you something.

- I don't suppose he'd take American Express would he?

Right.

You might want to go with him.

No, I handle Twisted Sister, I think I can handle Floyd.

Hello?

Hello? Is there anyone here?

You know that green stuff Charley had instead of blood?

- Yeah? - Well, I had it checked at the hospital.

Jeff said that it was some kind of an acid.

- Acid? - Yeah.

So, I sent an intern to the State Pathology Lab.

His battery died in his car just outside of town,

same as that lawyer's, wouldn't start again.

You're really enjoying this, aren't you?

Yeah, I really thrive on it.

Oh.

Vietnam, right?

Bet you're a cop, too.

You know what I think?

- What? - I think you're overdue for a good fuck.

We better go check on your friend.

Julia, stay with her.

- Make sure you got plenfy of ammo. - I will.

- Dad? - Yeah?

Be careful.

This thing doesn't make any sense.

Don't worry, your old man will be just fine.

Hello?

Floyd?

You here? Floyd?

Hello?

Floyd?

- Floyd, is that you?

I see you found Floyd.

Get him off of me!

Shit! Not again!

Fuck you!

No charge for the parts and labor, Floyd.

Mrs. Griffiths?

Are you alright?

Are you OK?

I feel fine!

Stop it!

- Stop it!

- Stop it!

What the hell?

- I was right!

This whole town's gone psycho.

There is definitely something wrong!

Listen, you two go back to the office.

I want to check a few things, see if I can get some help.

- Cheri!

Settle down!

It's me. It's alright!

Reilly! Reilly!

- No, no!

- Open the door! - No!

- Open the door!

Get her in!

Julia, shut the door!

Now, god dammit, Sheriff,

I want some answers, and I want 'em right now!

We'd all Iike to know some answers, if we knew the answers...

Now, don't you dare lecture me!

In case you hadn't noticed, I got a wife in there that's half nuts!

Now, something in this fucking place sent her over the deep end!

Now, you take my word for it, Sheriff,

I am gonna sue this stop in the road for every penny it hasn't got

- and that includes you, you understand?

God dammit, where is the doctor?

- Bad doin's around here, Roy! - Oh, tell me about it!

You know Johnny Hagger's boy?

- The one that looks like Howdy Doody? - Yeah?

Tried to stranqle a nurse with a telephone cord just a little while back.

Then old lady Williams plumb attacks me out of the blue!

Well, we got another case here, his wife. We had to lock her up!

Oh.

Well, three CCs of this stuff ought to calm her down some,

made our people a sight more manageable.

Wait a second, exactly what is this stuff?

Nothing but 100 proof grade A tranquilizer, mister.

Nothing fancy, just got a hell of a kick to it.

Jesus, come on.

Be careful now.

No!

Just doesn't make any sense.

Folks I've known all my life feuding with each other for no reason.

Hospital filled with people bleedinq green blood?

Telephones and the radios don't work.

And the damn cars breaking down at the city limits!

Think something's behind it?

I don't know what, but it all started at the same time.

- It might be somethinq in the air. - Or the water.

The water.

Contaminate the water supply and cut off all communication,

so nobody will know till it's over.

Yeah, but why?

- You're bleeding! - At least it's red.

We've got to act fast.

"Act"? What are you talking about?

Don't tell anybody I told you, but we got an emergency situation here.

You in this time or you gonna rent a car as usual?

Hey, don't give me that shit, pal, not after what I've been through!

Knock it off.

Doc, we think there's something wrong with the water.

I want you to prepare as many of those pig-stickers as you can.

- It's all we got for now. - Will do.

Check with your people at the hospital,

find out how many of 'em drank the water this morning,

and then do whatever you can.

Any of you drink any of the water?

Just an orange juice.

We had beer. You?

I haven't touched water in years.

Coffee, anythinq?

What about it, Sheriff?

We don't want you flipping out and shooting us in the back, do we?

Uh...

No. No, no, I didn't have any coffee.

It's starting.

Sheriff, uh...?

You're not serious no...

You're gonna need this for your piece.

You're gonna need this, too.

Look you guys have been watching too many Westerns, this is not high noon!

I reckon it is.

Listen, these are decent, god-fearinq people.

These are not killers.

Don't shoot 'em unless you have to,

and by God if you gotta shoot 'em, don't shoot 'em to kill 'em,

just... just wound 'em, anything to keep 'em out of action

until we figure out what the hell is going on.

Understood?

Julia, get on the PA system. Tell everybody not to drink the water!

Make it good and loud, make sure everybody gets the message!

You two go around to the south, I'II go around to the north.

Now, nobody gets hurt!

Tell them that!

- Attention all citizens,

our water supply has been contaminated with a toxic, possibly lethal substance.

What the hell happened to this town?

The freeway missed it.

No, I mean all the loony toons.

Boredom.

Jesus, Reilly, will you give it a rest, huh?

Sounds to me like you're scared shitless.

Yeah...

So am I.

Well, you're human after all, are ya?

The only difference with me,

only the last couple hours, with you, last a whole lifetime.

I'll be there.

He said not to shoot to kill!

Great, next time I ask permission, alright, Reilly?

- Attention all citizens!

- Our water supply has been contaminated, with a toxic, possibly lethal substance.

- All persons are advised to immediately...'

Freeze, police!

It's alright...

It's alright.

It's OK.

Stop right there!

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

- Reilly, that you? - Yeah, hold your fire!

It looks like the OK fucking Corral out there!

Yeah, except that I ain't Wyatt Earp!

And you sure as hell ain't Doc Holliday!

I resent that, Sheriff!

Alright, Alex, I'll take "Famous Fatalities" for 400.

Long distance every five minutes, follow it up with a phone call.

Now, if you get an outside line, get in touch with the nearest army base.

Just be calm, tell 'em exactly what I told you.

- They'll send somebody to help. - Will do.

Oh...

Keep yourself locked in here.

OK.

- How you holding, Suz? - Alright, I guess!

Now, you remember everything?

Keep 'em strapped down tight, plenty of padding,

don't be stingy with that tranquilizer.

I... will do, Sheriff!

- Good luck! - Alright, good luck to you, honey.

That's the last of 'em.

Now, barricade yourself inside with the others.

If anybody shows up that you don't know, let 'em have it.

Go ahead.

Must be some kind of weird experiment.

One guy probably controlling a whole town with toxic chemicals.

Wartare like that, you don't need nukes.

Just a few men and a few major population centers to activate it.

Jesus Christ, a pertect plan.

- How do you cut off a town from the rest of the world?

It's the United States of America, for Christ's sakes.

Well, hell, son, we're just a spot on the map.

We don't even qet many visitors, just us... coming and going.

Reason enough to pick Canyonland.

But why haven't we seen 'em?

We will.

They'll need to check the results first hand, we'll be waitinq on 'em.

We will indeed.

I'm sorry...

God...

I Iove you...

so much.

Some things man just can't do.

She's my wife!

I know.

Maybe the effects wear off.

Could be alright after all.

- Come on.

Damn!

- Now? - No!

We don't know how many are in the van,

and those suits may be bullet proof.

Well, there's only one way to find out.

No, no, no, no, there's too much space out here.

We gotta... We gotta pen 'em in, at the old drive-in.

Some sheriffs never change.

I'll get the cattle started,

you just make sure you're there at the end of the drive.

No, no. His show now. He'll Iead the way.

Julia, see if you can find a switch.

We get some light on those bastards.

You two, when the lights come on, don't miss!

Hey... Hey!

I tell ya, he's gone nuts!

Sue him.

No!

I'm sorry.

He was a good man.

He was a good father, too.

Why don't you keep it, Reilly?

Whatever you say, Sheriff.

I'm not much of a cop.

I just wanted to be close to my dad.

What about Canyonland?

This town doesn't need a Sheriff anymore.

It needs a goddamn undertaker.

Listen, uh...

Uh...

Now you're the law and order in these parts, Reilly.

What does that make you?

Just an ordinary citizen.

One who doesn't have to worry about the leqalities of justice.

Thanks.

I think you just joined the posse.

The way I see it, we can still track 'em down.

- Private little war? - I don't need any help.

You can always go back.

Look, man, I'm not a total asshole, you know?

No?

No, for a rock and roll attorney, I think I'm doing pretty good.

You guys want to fight, save it for the enemy.

Well, give us a hint, huh?

You're the lawyer, you figure it out.

Well, by process of elimination,

I have to say it could be anybody from the CIA,

testing some new toxic agent,

or the KGB or anybody else using Canyonland as a Guinea piq.

The CIA would not be doing this in their own back yard.

They've got Central America for that.

The way I see it, some foreign assholes were sent here on a mission.

They watch, they count, they destroy the evidence,

they qet out... they win.

I think it's time somebody taught these fuckers a lesson.

Whoa!

Whoa, whoa...

Whoa, whoa...

Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa!

Hi ho, Silver, come on!

Huh!

Hey Reilly, my ass is killing me.

You take the side, you take the back, I'll take the front.

Alriqht.

Don't panic and start shooting till you get my signal.

Alright.

Let's go.

- Now!

- Prerty impressive setup. - Great air conditioning.

American technoloqy.

Looks Iike they thought of everything.

Yeah, even their getaway.

- What do you mean? - They left everything here.

Must be some kind of airlift.

Well, why would they leave all this stuff behind

when they know somebody's gonna find...

- Oh, shit! - Let's go!

- Hey, come on.

Come on!

- Operator. - Hello!

Which way now, Kemo Sabe?

Don't know.

Horses don't leave tracks on these rocks.

Yeah, I got a good idea...

Just drop her! Down! Down!

Cover me!

A man's got to do what a man's got to do!

Reilly!

I'm hit!

Whoa!

How bad is it?

Don't know, you could die maybe.

Ah, that's such a... I knew it, damn I knew it!

In about 50 to 60 years.

Fuck you!

Fine.

You'll have to stay with him. He's lost a lot of blood.

I didn't come all this way to play nursemaid to a tendertoot.

- Force yourself. - No, I'm coming with you.

How do you know I'm just not gonna ride off in the wrong direction,

maybe by accident, maybe not?

Because guys like you don't give up, Reilly.

This isn't a woman's fight.

If you want revenqe, let me do it for you.

Why?

Call it a death wish.

You're a hell of a guy, Reilly.

- Don't bet on it. - I do.

My Iife, in fact.

Christ's sake, spare me!

Oh, damn...

Better get the counselor there in some shade.

If he don't bleed to death, he'll probably fry.

Good luck.

Whoa, whoa...

One at a time, huh?

Got a problem?

This is US Army patrol helicopter 66754.

We're out here at three o'clock position.

Request aircraft in vicinify to identify yourself.

This is US Army patrol helicopter 66754.

Request that you land immediately.

If you don't identify yourself, you will be forced to land.

66754-Tango-X-ray to base.

A possible suspect helicopter in sight.

Have advised them to land immediately. Request further guidance.

Base to Tango-X-ray. Stay on pursuit.'

Sheriff Hanks asked me to say hello.

Enough to drive a whole town crazy.

Imaqine what it can do to one man.

If you get any time off in Hell, come see us again.

Tango X-ray to base.

Unidentified helicopter is taking evasive action.

Request permission to engage.

Permission to engage granted.

- Thank you, base.

Goodbye, sucker.

Hitching again?

Huh!

Women cops scare the hell out of me.

I'm not one anymore, remember?

Just kidding.

I was hoping you'd stay.

I'm not the kind to stay very lonq in one place.

Guess some thinqs never change, huh?

Some.

Not others.

Give it up, Reilly.

Vigilantes die or go to jail.

Vendettas are old-fashioned.

So am I.

Oh, for Christ's sakes, what is this? Days Of Our Líves?

So, you want a ride or what?

I thought you were going the other way?

Well, I guess you thought wrong, smart ass.

What's it gonna be?

- Be seeing you.

- Sure.