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MAXWELL:
Every now and again,
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00:00:04,046 --> 00:00:09,256
the memories come flooding back
to the day I changed the world.
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00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:14,562
- Father, have you heard any news
of the Titanic's maiden voyage?
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00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:18,056
"The unsinkable ship" they call it!
I sure hope it arrives safely in America.
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00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:21,100
- Extry, extry!
The Titanic has sunk!
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00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:23,234
1,500 dead in freak accident!
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00:00:23,232 --> 00:00:25,072
All those innocent people!
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00:00:25,067 --> 00:00:27,317
If only there was something
we could have done to save them.
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00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:29,989
If not for the Red Hot Rule, we could...
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00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:31,278
The Red Hot Rule?
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00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:33,621
- Maxwell, did you know
that being in Australia,
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00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:36,197
we're actually 15 hours
ahead of the USA?
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00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:38,833
You mean, we're in the future?
14
00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:42,920
- Yes. Right now, in the Atlantic,
the Titanic has yet to sink.
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00:00:42,918 --> 00:00:45,168
In fact, if you were to call and warn 'em,
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00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:48,300
they'd probably have about...
five minutes to prepare.
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00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:51,718
But we Australians have sworn
to never interfere with the flow of time.
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00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:54,178
Violating the Red Hot Rule
is our greatest crime.
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00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:56,009
Do you understand, Maxwell?
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00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:57,774
[door closes]
Maxwell!
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00:00:57,766 --> 00:00:59,516
Nooo!
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00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:03,059
- Sir! It's a telegram
from the Australian future!
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00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:05,363
It says: "G'day mate. Stop.
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00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:07,817
"Cobba, ya ship's about to crash. Stop.
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00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:10,488
You have five minutes, I reckon.
Stop."
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00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:12,947
- Crash? Why would we crash
in the next five minutes?
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00:01:12,948 --> 00:01:14,948
We've already noticed
that iceberg over there.
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What could possibly put us
in such unexpected danger?
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00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:18,911
I don't know, sir.
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00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:21,922
But maybe we should hold off
on opening this cursed sarcophagus?
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00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,035
Ah. Yeah, I suppose you're right.
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Take it back down to cargo,
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and send Australia our thanks
for changing history, will you?
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- Father! I did it! I saved--
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Oh! Father?
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FATHER:
Take him away, Time Bobbies.
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I have no son.
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PRESENT-DAY MAXWELL:
I should have listened to my father.
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How was I supposed to know about...
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00:01:42,728 --> 00:01:44,018
her?
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00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:45,521
♪ old-time music playing ♪
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♪ Hello, everybody ♪
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♪ I have come
to take you back with me ♪
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♪ To a land of liberty... ♪
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MAXWELL: She joined the army,
led America to victory in two World Wars,
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and eventually was sworn in
as President Mummy.
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00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:09,423
One day, when signing a peace deal,
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00:02:09,421 --> 00:02:13,681
she fell in love with
that commie bastard Brezhnev.
49
00:02:13,675 --> 00:02:17,545
They both abandoned their people
for a quiet life on the moon,
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00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,474
which left the world in chaos.
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[glasses clink]
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00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:25,851
Soon after, the bombs started flying
and America became a toxic wasteland,
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except for Hollywood, which broke off
and became a floating island.
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00:02:30,192 --> 00:02:35,412
But I know the Americans
are still out there, biding their time.
55
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Waiting for the perfect moment to strike!
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00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:40,327
Oooh!
[glasses shatter]
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And that's how I fucked up the future.
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00:02:45,249 --> 00:02:47,289
♪ theme song playing ♪
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Koala Kode 2,040.
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00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:19,947
Remember: if it doesn't have a collar,
it's not a shirt.
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00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,962
LIAM: I never realized
how amazing Americans are!
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Chad Wagon says every meal
comes with a side dish of freedom!
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Totally awesome sauce.
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00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,589
Liam, please.
65
00:03:30,586 --> 00:03:33,006
I only wanted to come
to this ridiculous novelty restaurant
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for your twin birthdays
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00:03:34,173 --> 00:03:36,843
because I thought seeing how
America's lawless attitudes
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drove them to destruction
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would serve as a cautionary tale.
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- It's working.
This birthday sucks.
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00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:43,063
Your plan backfired, Dad.
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00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:44,926
Now I see how boring Australians are.
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00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:47,773
All we care about is footy
or sharks or whatever.
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00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:49,979
Chad Wagon says Americans
solve most of their problems
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00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:51,940
through illegal street racing.
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00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:53,940
[sighs] I wish I were American...
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00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:55,572
America blew itself up!
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00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:58,529
That's why all the Americans
have come here to a sensible country.
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00:03:58,530 --> 00:04:00,490
Hey, everyone, ah...
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this is, uh... a robbery.
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00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:03,827
We're fuckin' robbin' youse.
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00:04:03,827 --> 00:04:06,117
Yeah, give us ya cash or like...
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00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:09,171
we'll fuckin' shank ya or some shit.
84
00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:10,706
Kevin, do something!
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00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:13,209
- Yes, I'd say this is a job
for Koala Man--
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00:04:13,212 --> 00:04:14,632
[engines revving]
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♪ Bon Jovi playing
"Raise Your Hands" ♪
88
00:04:16,632 --> 00:04:17,972
[tires squeal]
89
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:25,639
Oh, my God, it's Chad Wagon!
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♪
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♪ Out on the run, under the gun ♪
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00:04:34,525 --> 00:04:36,355
He's perfect.
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I would have gotten here sooner,
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00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:40,485
but parking, am I right, bro?
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♪ Raise your hands
when you wanna let it go... ♪
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00:04:45,327 --> 00:04:48,407
- Can you pretty please teach me how
to be a fun, freedom-loving American?
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- I don't know. Do you have
what it takes to be mi familia?
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00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:54,249
- Mi familia?
- Mi familia.
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00:04:54,253 --> 00:04:57,423
The family you create when your real
family won't accept you for who you are.
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00:04:57,422 --> 00:05:00,842
- Actually, Liam already has
a very accepting and Australian family.
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00:05:00,843 --> 00:05:03,353
He doesn't need to be infected
with your American ideas.
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00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:07,095
- Dude, I wouldn't listen to this guy.
He looks about 5' 7", max.
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00:05:07,099 --> 00:05:09,099
See ya around, bro.
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00:05:12,104 --> 00:05:13,614
[sniffing]
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00:05:15,107 --> 00:05:16,777
[sighs]
106
00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:20,452
- Quiet down, you lot.
Big Greg has big news.
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00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:24,115
I've just received word
that the Queen herself is coming to Dapto.
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00:05:24,116 --> 00:05:28,446
Anyone wanna volunteer for the absolute
dog shit job of keeping Her Majesty safe?
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00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:30,213
- Oh, I do! Me-me-me! Me!
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I have it on good authority that Dapto's
handsome and virile superhero Koala Man
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would also like to be involved,
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uh, perhaps as a means
of demonstrating to his son
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just how cool Australians can be.
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Yeah, yeah, don't care.
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One more thing-- 'cause there is fuck all
to do in this wonderful town,
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we'll be bringing forward
the Miss Sausage Roll Pageant
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so the Queen can crown the winner.
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00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:50,522
Now, I know that this is last minute,
but I'm sure we can find some desperate,
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psychotic, unpopular losers
who want to be Miss Sausage Roll.
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00:05:53,562 --> 00:05:56,062
Mum, I'm entering Miss Sausage Roll.
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00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:58,574
But I need you to buy me a new swimsuit!
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00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:01,107
I got my eye on this one.
It barely covers tit and slit.
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00:06:01,111 --> 00:06:03,161
- Language!
And I forbid you from entering.
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00:06:03,155 --> 00:06:06,775
- But, Muuum, if I win,
I get to meet the Queen!
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00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:08,793
Not even Rosie Yodels has met the Queen!
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00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:10,445
I said no!
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You don't understand.
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00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:14,043
You've been a solid five your entire life.
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00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,751
Oh, have I?
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00:06:15,751 --> 00:06:18,881
[gasps] Mum? You were hot?
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VICKY: I went after the Miss Sausage Roll
crown with everything I had.
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And I lost.
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All because of Saucy Simmons.
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00:06:26,428 --> 00:06:30,718
Sure, she had a natural advantage,
seeing as she was a sausage roll,
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00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:34,144
but I figured, a naive little pastry
from the burbs wasn't a threat.
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00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:37,404
But during the finals,
Saucy poured a bottle of vegetable oil
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00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:40,397
all over herself
as she did the Sausage Strut.
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00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,700
I slipped on her greasy trail and fell.
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00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:45,525
And I saw her laughing.
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She wanted me to fall.
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That flaky, buttery bitch!
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00:06:50,369 --> 00:06:53,119
- After I lost,
I didn't know who I was anymore.
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00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:55,791
I went on a seven-year bender...
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made a lot of friends.
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ALISON: What about Dad?
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00:06:58,293 --> 00:07:01,173
- [sighs] He insisted on calling it
a long-distance relationship,
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00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:02,341
but we were on a break.
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00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:05,469
After a while, I returned to Dapto
and married your father.
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00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:08,927
But if not for Saucy Simmons,
I'd have won Miss Sausage Roll,
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00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,889
and everything would be different.
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Everything.
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You're not entering and that's final.
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What are these, you ask?
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Only top-secret security plans
for the Queen's visit!
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00:07:24,403 --> 00:07:25,493
Cool.
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00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:29,067
- The Queen is coming to visit Dapto!
Why aren't you more excited?
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- I'd be more excited, but Mum's refusing
to train me for Miss Sausage Roll.
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For your own good, Alison.
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00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:36,577
- Ah, I remember
your Miss Sausage Roll days, Vicky.
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Some of those pictures
really sustained me
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00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:40,955
through our seven-year
long-distance relationship.
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Mmm! Yummy!
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I'm really enjoying
this authentic Australian meat pie,
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made with a native Australian animal.
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Needs ketchup.
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00:07:51,763 --> 00:07:55,643
- Liam, in Australia
we say "tomato sauce."
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00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:57,942
- I just don't get why we can't
have fries like at Chad Wagon's.
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00:07:57,936 --> 00:08:00,186
Chips, Liam! They're called chips!
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00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:01,729
I don't even know who you are anymore!
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Maybe you never did!
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00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:05,941
Now I know why I've never
fit in with other Australians!
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Because in my heart,
I've been American all along!
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That's what Chad says.
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00:08:10,616 --> 00:08:13,366
That's right.
I went to see Chad after school today.
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- I don't want you
hanging around that man!
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00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:18,119
- You may be my family
but you're not my mi familia.
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00:08:18,123 --> 00:08:20,253
Chad says you wouldn't hide
behind a mask if you were.
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You told him my secret identity?!
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00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,762
That's just... oooh, I'm very cross now.
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- Oh, and FYI:
tomato sauce is not awesome sauce!
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[groans]
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Chad Wagon!
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00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:39,138
- I just don't understand why Liam insists
on fraternizing with a lawless American.
184
00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:43,524
I can feel it in my willies,
this Chad Wagon is bad news.
185
00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:47,534
- Yeah, KM, what did we do to deserve
these Americans invading our shores?
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00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:49,858
- No one could have known
the consequences!
187
00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:52,073
I just wanted to save the beautiful ship!
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00:08:52,074 --> 00:08:54,794
- Oi, I think Maxwell's got a touch
of the old dementia, mate.
189
00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:57,995
No! Many years ago, I made a mistake.
190
00:08:57,996 --> 00:09:00,866
I violated the Red Hot Rule.
191
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,754
- What?! What are you talking about?
Keep your voice down!
192
00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:04,091
[laughs] Good joke.
193
00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:06,336
Are you fuckin' crazy, you old bastard?
194
00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:08,088
You want to get nicked
by the Time Bobbies?
195
00:09:08,090 --> 00:09:09,340
Already did.
196
00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:11,641
Spent 20 years in Time Jail.
197
00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:13,545
If not for me, President Mummy
198
00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:16,014
would have been at the bottom
of the sea on the Titanic.
199
00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:17,894
And everything that came after...
200
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,521
It's all my fault!
201
00:09:19,518 --> 00:09:24,148
Mark my words, if Americans are involved,
something terrible will happen.
202
00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:26,977
I'm leaving town!
You should too!
203
00:09:26,984 --> 00:09:28,944
[screaming]
204
00:09:30,696 --> 00:09:32,696
- All right then,
see ya tomorrow, Maxwell.
205
00:09:32,698 --> 00:09:34,318
Maxwell's right about one thing.
206
00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:36,874
This American is only going
to make things worse.
207
00:09:36,869 --> 00:09:39,659
Maybe it's time he had a chat with...
208
00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:41,463
Koala Man.
209
00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:44,536
AKA me.
210
00:09:46,587 --> 00:09:47,797
Hello, Mother.
211
00:09:47,796 --> 00:09:50,466
You'll never guess
who's entered Miss Sausage Roll.
212
00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:52,425
Saucy Simmons...
213
00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:54,256
Don't be absurd. She's far too old.
214
00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:55,801
...Junior!
215
00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:58,064
- She's got her mother's flakes,
I'll give her that much.
216
00:09:58,056 --> 00:10:00,176
And she's the heavy favorite to win.
217
00:10:00,184 --> 00:10:03,274
Unless someone were
to come along and defeat her.
218
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:06,190
- Alison, no.
You don't know what you're asking.
219
00:10:06,190 --> 00:10:08,690
- You need revenge.
I need to become popular.
220
00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:11,822
If you teach me,
maybe we can win this thing, together.
221
00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:13,910
[sighs] Very well.
222
00:10:13,906 --> 00:10:18,196
But just know, pageants turn
the sweetest women into monsters.
223
00:10:18,202 --> 00:10:21,292
- Mum, I'm a 14-year-old girl.
I'm already a monster.
224
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:23,788
I'm not talking about you, Alison.
225
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:26,840
[knife whooshes]
Time to train.
226
00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:28,125
Yes, Mum.
227
00:10:30,631 --> 00:10:31,881
[Chad sighs]
228
00:10:31,882 --> 00:10:34,552
CHAD: I wish you could have seen
America in the glory days.
229
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:36,431
It was paradise, bro.
230
00:10:36,428 --> 00:10:38,008
So, how did you end up in Dapto?
231
00:10:38,013 --> 00:10:41,023
- Once Hollywood became an island,
I knew America was finished.
232
00:10:41,016 --> 00:10:44,096
But I couldn't just
let American raditude die out.
233
00:10:44,102 --> 00:10:45,902
So I bought
the only ticket I could afford
234
00:10:45,896 --> 00:10:47,976
and came to Australia
and opened my restaurant,
235
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:51,441
where every day is red, white, and blue.
236
00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:53,453
- The Australian flag is also
red, white, and blue.
237
00:10:53,445 --> 00:10:54,695
But ours is better.
238
00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:56,366
Look, I'm not gonna lie to you.
239
00:10:56,365 --> 00:10:58,945
It isn't easy being
an American refugee, kid.
240
00:10:58,951 --> 00:11:01,371
I just wish we had
a real home here in Australia,
241
00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:03,000
somewhere we could call our own.
242
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,746
But the Queen will never go for it.
243
00:11:04,748 --> 00:11:07,208
That staunchy fuckin' bitch.
244
00:11:07,209 --> 00:11:10,089
- Maybe we just need to show her
how great the American way of life is.
245
00:11:10,087 --> 00:11:11,627
Dude! Killer idea!
246
00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:14,590
We should do a kickass car stunt for her
when she comes to Dapto!
247
00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:17,221
She'll be so impressed,
she'll have to listen to us.
248
00:11:17,219 --> 00:11:21,009
- That would be awesome sauce,
but security's gonna be super tight.
249
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:23,394
- Bro, doesn't your cuck dad
have security plans?
250
00:11:23,392 --> 00:11:25,142
You should totally get them.
251
00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:29,063
[whispering] So America can be reborn
in the ashes of Australia.
252
00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:30,614
- What's that?
- Nothing, nothing.
253
00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:33,737
Uh, just, thinking about, uh, hamburgers
and hot dogs and stuff.
254
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:37,025
- Oi, Mr. Wagon.
Hand over the boy.
255
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:39,870
Aw, g'day, Captain Australia.
256
00:11:39,867 --> 00:11:42,327
Darn it, that's a good superhero name!
257
00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:44,447
No, resist his charm.
258
00:11:44,454 --> 00:11:49,254
In the name of Dapto and all that is good,
I command you to stop influencing my son.
259
00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:50,841
- Maybe I don't want to be
your son anymore.
260
00:11:50,836 --> 00:11:53,206
- Don't be ridiculous, Liam.
Get in the car.
261
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,923
- You want Liam?
You gotta race me first.
262
00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:58,184
From here to that bridge
is exactly a quarter mile.
263
00:11:58,177 --> 00:12:00,547
And I live a quarter mile at a time.
264
00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:04,224
- Correction: four hundred
and two point three meters at a time.
265
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:05,394
Pfft, whatever.
266
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:07,482
What matters is the winner gets Liam.
267
00:12:07,477 --> 00:12:09,187
Liam! This is insane!
268
00:12:09,188 --> 00:12:11,688
Sounds like your old man's scared, Liam.
269
00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:13,980
- Of course, he is.
He's Australian.
270
00:12:15,027 --> 00:12:17,487
Fine. Let's race, Yank.
271
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:19,237
[engines revving]
272
00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,038
Go!
273
00:12:29,041 --> 00:12:30,211
[tires squealing]
274
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:36,220
MASK: Kevin... wouldn't hurt
to go a bit faster, mate.
275
00:12:36,215 --> 00:12:38,715
- I can't, Koala Mask!
This is a 60 zone!
276
00:12:38,717 --> 00:12:40,137
MASK:
This is a race for our son!
277
00:12:40,135 --> 00:12:41,295
My son.
278
00:12:41,303 --> 00:12:44,973
Look, Chad may know how to drive fast,
but I know Dapto's roads.
279
00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:47,523
There's a speed bump coming up
and a traffic camera after that.
280
00:12:48,644 --> 00:12:50,404
He's going far too fast.
281
00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:52,475
If the bump doesn't get him,
the camera will.
282
00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:04,204
Nooo!
283
00:13:06,745 --> 00:13:09,205
Lawless American! You cheated!
284
00:13:09,206 --> 00:13:10,916
You lost, you little bitch.
285
00:13:10,916 --> 00:13:12,536
That was amazing!
286
00:13:12,543 --> 00:13:14,253
And now Liam's mine.
287
00:13:14,253 --> 00:13:15,883
Liam, you're not serious.
288
00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:18,589
[American accent]
You're not my mi familia, Koala Man,
289
00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:21,550
and now you're not my family either.
290
00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:25,465
You are Liam Wagon now.
291
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:27,522
I love you, Chad Wagon.
292
00:13:27,516 --> 00:13:30,266
Please, son, call me Dad Wagon.
293
00:13:30,269 --> 00:13:31,519
[tires squeal]
294
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,310
[Koala Man sobbing]
[horn blaring]
295
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:38,900
♪ rock music playing ♪
296
00:13:38,902 --> 00:13:41,032
♪ There comes a time ♪
297
00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:45,529
♪ When the world
is fighting against you ♪
298
00:13:45,534 --> 00:13:49,714
♪ You're feeling its weight
on your shoulders ♪
299
00:13:49,705 --> 00:13:52,745
♪ Crushing you into dirt ♪
300
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:54,589
♪ But there comes a time ♪
301
00:13:54,585 --> 00:13:58,545
♪ When you face your fears headlong ♪
302
00:13:58,547 --> 00:14:01,047
♪ Headstrong ♪
303
00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:03,509
♪ This is your moment ♪
304
00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,390
♪ Let's turn up the heat ♪
305
00:14:05,387 --> 00:14:07,557
♪ It's time to play ♪
306
00:14:08,140 --> 00:14:10,430
♪ Stand up and fight! ♪
307
00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:14,732
♪ Stand up and fight, yeah ♪
308
00:14:14,730 --> 00:14:16,230
♪ Stand up for what... ♪
309
00:14:16,231 --> 00:14:21,401
♪ Stand up for what is right ♪
310
00:14:21,904 --> 00:14:23,864
♪ Stand up and fight! ♪
311
00:14:25,199 --> 00:14:27,699
KOALA MAN:
Oh, Liam, sweet Liam.
312
00:14:27,701 --> 00:14:30,081
How I wish you were here to see this.
313
00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:33,078
No. I must focus on the task at hand.
314
00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:34,791
Protecting the Queen!
315
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:39,801
Oh, looky here, it's Slippy Vicky.
316
00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:41,336
Shut your face, Saucy.
317
00:14:41,340 --> 00:14:43,680
My daughter is going
to crush yours into porridge.
318
00:14:43,675 --> 00:14:46,885
- You need to let go of the past, Vicky.
It's actually embarrassing.
319
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:48,057
And the present.
320
00:14:48,055 --> 00:14:50,555
Your current life
is also very embarrassing.
321
00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:53,307
- I think our daughters' performances
will be the judge of that.
322
00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:55,230
With just two contestants left,
323
00:14:55,229 --> 00:14:58,979
it's time for the highlight of the event:
the Sausage Strut.
324
00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:02,192
- Alison, I just want to say, I know
there's bad blood between our mothers,
325
00:15:02,194 --> 00:15:03,744
but may the best person win.
326
00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:06,197
- You're not a person.
You're a fuckin' sausage roll.
327
00:15:06,198 --> 00:15:09,868
- Make some noise
for Saucyyyyy Juniooooor!
328
00:15:09,868 --> 00:15:12,408
[crowd cheering]
♪ funky music playing ♪
329
00:15:20,712 --> 00:15:22,462
Three nines from the judges!
330
00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:24,844
That savory girl sure is sweet!
331
00:15:24,842 --> 00:15:28,552
And now, put your oven mitts together
for the last finalist:
332
00:15:28,554 --> 00:15:30,724
Alison Williams!
333
00:15:30,722 --> 00:15:32,312
♪ funky music continues ♪
334
00:15:32,307 --> 00:15:33,727
- Uggh!
[Vicky gasps]
335
00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:35,345
Whoaaa...
336
00:15:43,318 --> 00:15:44,988
[crowd gasps]
337
00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:50,201
[cheering and applause]
[gasps]
338
00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:54,503
[cheering and applause]
339
00:15:54,496 --> 00:15:57,916
- Whooo! Fuck you, you lunch order slut!
In your face!
340
00:15:59,668 --> 00:16:01,248
[camera shutters clicking]
341
00:16:02,087 --> 00:16:03,257
[tools clattering]
342
00:16:03,255 --> 00:16:05,295
Dad Wagon, what are you doing?
343
00:16:05,299 --> 00:16:07,629
- Just making a few changes
to make your stunt a little more...
344
00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:09,434
memorable.
345
00:16:09,428 --> 00:16:11,888
[lock clicks]
D-D-D-Don't worry.
346
00:16:11,889 --> 00:16:13,679
Just a safety precaution.
347
00:16:13,682 --> 00:16:15,852
Now go make Dad Wagon proud!
348
00:16:15,851 --> 00:16:17,641
U-S-A! U-S-A!
349
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:20,154
BOTH: U-S-A! U-S-A!
350
00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:22,727
[tires screeching]
351
00:16:22,733 --> 00:16:26,533
- And now, here to crown
Miss Sausage Roll,
352
00:16:26,528 --> 00:16:30,738
the Queen of Australia,
Nicole Kidman!
353
00:16:30,741 --> 00:16:33,041
♪ fanfare playing ♪
[cheering]
354
00:16:33,035 --> 00:16:34,945
Hooly dooly, Dapto.
355
00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:37,543
It's a bloody honor to be here.
356
00:16:37,539 --> 00:16:41,249
- To think, there's my Alison
standing next to the Queen of Australia.
357
00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:43,001
[engine revving]
What's that?
358
00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:45,463
There shouldn't be
any cars within the perimeter!
359
00:16:47,049 --> 00:16:48,879
Alright, bit of shush now.
360
00:16:48,884 --> 00:16:52,804
Funny story, when I was little,
I thought I'd move to America
361
00:16:52,804 --> 00:16:55,354
and enter an arranged marriage
with a space messiah
362
00:16:55,349 --> 00:16:58,189
before settling into a series
of prestige television dramas
363
00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:00,265
where I'd play sad mums in cardigans.
364
00:17:02,314 --> 00:17:06,534
But after America fell, I decided
to stay here and become your queen.
365
00:17:06,527 --> 00:17:07,897
[cheering]
Pretty cool, huh?
366
00:17:07,903 --> 00:17:10,823
Anyway, congrats, Miss Sausage Roll!
367
00:17:10,822 --> 00:17:12,282
[revving]
368
00:17:12,282 --> 00:17:14,372
COMPUTER: Autopilot activated.
369
00:17:14,368 --> 00:17:19,498
Kill Queen, frame Liam,
reboot Australia into America 2.0.
370
00:17:19,498 --> 00:17:21,878
- What?
[tires squeal]
371
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:24,285
No, no, no no!
372
00:17:27,798 --> 00:17:29,758
Noooooo!
373
00:17:30,801 --> 00:17:32,051
WOMAN: [singing]
♪ ...everybody ♪
374
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:35,102
♪ I have come to take you back with-- ♪
375
00:17:35,097 --> 00:17:36,887
REPORTER:
Breaking news: the Queen of Australia
376
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:39,640
has just been grilled to death
on the hood of a race car,
377
00:17:39,643 --> 00:17:42,193
driven by a small boy,
who has tragically died at the scene.
378
00:17:42,187 --> 00:17:43,937
A muscly American man is claiming
379
00:17:43,939 --> 00:17:46,859
to be Australia's new leader,
and we're all kind of going with it.
380
00:17:46,859 --> 00:17:50,649
- Oh, no, Maxwell!
You mustn't change the past!
381
00:17:50,654 --> 00:17:52,454
REPORTER:
Anyway, we all live in America 2.0 now,
382
00:17:52,447 --> 00:17:54,827
and it's totally awesome sauce!
383
00:17:54,825 --> 00:17:57,785
- Ooh! Blasphemy!
To hell with the law!
384
00:17:57,786 --> 00:17:59,366
[line ringing]
385
00:17:59,371 --> 00:18:00,961
[whimpering]
386
00:18:00,956 --> 00:18:03,166
[ringing continues]
387
00:18:04,293 --> 00:18:07,713
Pick up, Koala Man, pick up!
388
00:18:07,713 --> 00:18:11,803
- To think, there's my Alison
standing next to the Queen of Australia.
389
00:18:12,384 --> 00:18:14,434
I wish Liam was here to see this.
[tires squeal]
390
00:18:14,428 --> 00:18:17,098
What's that? There shouldn't be
any cars within the perimeter!
391
00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:18,717
[phone buzzes]
392
00:18:18,724 --> 00:18:20,184
Hey, Maxwell...
393
00:18:20,184 --> 00:18:23,274
Oh, my God!
Thank you for warning me!
394
00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:26,650
Though you have broken the Red Hot Rule,
and I'm gonna have to dob you in, mate.
395
00:18:26,648 --> 00:18:28,438
Yeah, I'm gonna have to tell
the authorities.
396
00:18:28,442 --> 00:18:30,402
Yeah, you can't--
you broke the law, mate.
397
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:32,907
Yeah, it's alright. Okay.
398
00:18:32,905 --> 00:18:35,275
Yeah, no worries. See ya later.
Alright, bye.
399
00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:36,242
One minute.
400
00:18:36,241 --> 00:18:40,291
Time to save my son, Queen Nicole Kidman,
and all of Australia!
401
00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:41,707
QUEEN NICOLE KIDMAN:
Pretty cool, huh?
402
00:18:41,705 --> 00:18:44,745
Anyway, congrats, Miss Sausage Roll!
[applause]
403
00:18:44,750 --> 00:18:45,880
I did it.
404
00:18:45,876 --> 00:18:48,836
I'll be the most powerful girl
in school by tomorrow.
405
00:18:48,837 --> 00:18:51,877
I'm so happy.
This is the best moment of my life.
406
00:18:51,882 --> 00:18:53,762
[car revving]
407
00:18:53,759 --> 00:18:55,549
[thuds]
408
00:18:58,597 --> 00:19:00,717
Alison! The Queen!
409
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,230
[Saucy gasps]
410
00:19:05,771 --> 00:19:09,271
[screams]
411
00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:13,404
Agh! They've grilled my girl!
412
00:19:15,239 --> 00:19:16,779
No, no, no!
413
00:19:16,782 --> 00:19:18,532
Ahhhh!
414
00:19:18,534 --> 00:19:20,044
[panting]
415
00:19:20,035 --> 00:19:24,455
[screams]
416
00:19:24,456 --> 00:19:25,666
[lock clicks]
417
00:19:25,666 --> 00:19:28,916
Ahhh!
[explosion]
418
00:19:28,919 --> 00:19:30,299
[crowd gasps]
419
00:19:30,295 --> 00:19:32,205
[sizzling]
420
00:19:32,214 --> 00:19:34,264
Saucy Junior saved my life.
421
00:19:34,258 --> 00:19:38,218
She deserves to posthumously win
Miss Sausage Roll, not Alison!
422
00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:41,890
Oh, my God! No! I was so close!
423
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:45,940
[camera shutters click]
424
00:19:45,936 --> 00:19:47,936
A heartbreaking chain of events.
425
00:19:47,938 --> 00:19:53,028
If I may propose a moment of silence
for that brave sausage roll.
426
00:19:54,111 --> 00:19:56,611
Anyway, who's excited for the raffle?
427
00:19:56,613 --> 00:19:58,823
[cheering]
428
00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:02,285
[man running, panting]
429
00:20:02,286 --> 00:20:04,116
Son, what happened with the stunt?
430
00:20:04,121 --> 00:20:05,331
You were gonna frame me!
431
00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:08,170
- Sacrifices gotta be made
for the U-S of A, dawg!
432
00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:09,416
I thought you understood.
433
00:20:09,418 --> 00:20:11,838
We could've brought America back,
right here in Australia.
434
00:20:11,837 --> 00:20:15,417
America 2.0, bro.
All you had to do was kill the Queen.
435
00:20:15,424 --> 00:20:18,344
Hey, Chad, get away from my son!
436
00:20:18,343 --> 00:20:20,473
- Dad!
- Mr. Wagon,
437
00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:23,180
I demand you leave Dapto at once!
438
00:20:23,182 --> 00:20:25,352
- Or what?
You wanna race for it?
439
00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:28,940
- No. That's the problem
with you lawless Americans.
440
00:20:28,937 --> 00:20:32,767
You're brash, arrogant,
overmuscled buffoons.
441
00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:33,864
You can't say that to me.
442
00:20:33,859 --> 00:20:38,029
- I can say whatever I want to you
because of the First Amendment.
443
00:20:38,030 --> 00:20:39,200
[hisses]
444
00:20:39,198 --> 00:20:40,988
I realize now, to beat an American,
445
00:20:40,991 --> 00:20:43,791
I must understand Americans
and try to share my son's passion.
446
00:20:43,785 --> 00:20:45,785
And there's nothing you Americans
are more passionate about
447
00:20:45,787 --> 00:20:47,327
than freedom of speech!
448
00:20:47,331 --> 00:20:50,211
Isn't that right, you filthy... drongo.
449
00:20:51,376 --> 00:20:52,836
No, stop!
450
00:20:52,836 --> 00:20:55,296
- You bloody wanker!
- No, no, stop!
451
00:20:55,297 --> 00:20:57,547
- Knobhead!
- [high-pitched voice] No, no!
452
00:20:57,549 --> 00:20:58,759
No! Leave me alone!
453
00:20:58,759 --> 00:21:00,969
Chad! Was any of it real?
454
00:21:00,969 --> 00:21:03,349
Was I ever your... mi familia?
455
00:21:03,347 --> 00:21:06,637
- Liam, you'll always be my mi famil--
456
00:21:10,604 --> 00:21:12,024
Just desserts.
457
00:21:12,022 --> 00:21:14,692
- Sorry, Dad.
I don't know what came over me.
458
00:21:14,691 --> 00:21:16,651
[sighs] I understand, Liam.
459
00:21:16,652 --> 00:21:18,572
You fell under the spell of America.
460
00:21:18,570 --> 00:21:20,530
I did, too, when I was your age.
461
00:21:20,531 --> 00:21:22,281
But we're Australian, Liam.
462
00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:24,372
And we have to make the best
of what we have.
463
00:21:27,538 --> 00:21:29,498
LIAM: Can I still say "ketchup" sometimes?
464
00:21:30,582 --> 00:21:31,792
KOALA MAN: I'll think about it.
465
00:21:31,792 --> 00:21:32,922
[groaning]
466
00:21:32,918 --> 00:21:36,088
♪ fanfare playing ♪
467
00:21:36,088 --> 00:21:39,588
- Drop the charges, Time Bobbies,
he saved my life.
468
00:21:39,591 --> 00:21:41,931
C'mon, Maxwell, let's get you home.
469
00:21:41,927 --> 00:21:44,717
Oh, bless you, Your Majesty!
470
00:21:44,721 --> 00:21:49,141
♪ fanfare playing ♪
471
00:21:51,103 --> 00:21:53,063
♪ somber music playing ♪
472
00:21:53,063 --> 00:21:55,693
They really went all out for her.
473
00:21:55,691 --> 00:21:58,191
Alison, how are you feeling after losing?
474
00:21:58,193 --> 00:22:00,073
Do you feel like going
on a seven-year bender
475
00:22:00,070 --> 00:22:03,240
and settling into a life
of quiet desperation? Hmm?
476
00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:04,580
How do I feel?
477
00:22:04,575 --> 00:22:09,575
[laughing maniacally]
♪ ominous music playing ♪
478
00:22:09,580 --> 00:22:11,580
I feel fine, actually.
479
00:22:11,582 --> 00:22:12,712
Huh.
480
00:22:12,708 --> 00:22:16,708
I guess one disappointment doesn't have
to dictate the course of your entire life.
481
00:22:16,712 --> 00:22:20,802
Maybe things would have been
exactly the same even if I won.
482
00:22:20,799 --> 00:22:23,679
I would have ended up here anyway... Hmm.
483
00:22:23,677 --> 00:22:25,047
That coffin's empty, you know.
484
00:22:25,053 --> 00:22:27,143
They fed Saucy Junior to needy families.
485
00:22:27,139 --> 00:22:29,099
An Australian hero.
486
00:22:29,099 --> 00:22:30,349
Just like you, Dad.
487
00:22:30,350 --> 00:22:32,940
Hmm. I suppose I am.
488
00:22:35,397 --> 00:22:37,567
[thunder rumbles]
489
00:22:44,031 --> 00:22:46,451
Chad! Mi familia...
490
00:22:52,456 --> 00:22:57,336
President Mummy shall have her revenge!
491
00:22:59,588 --> 00:23:01,298
♪ theme song playing ♪
492
00:23:37,125 --> 00:23:38,785
♪ fanfare playing ♪
493
00:23:38,835 --> 00:23:43,385
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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Afrikaans
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