All language subtitles for Home Economics s03e11 Gallon of Milk.eng

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Original subtitles

- So how's the design job going with Santiago?

- Ugh. He's a terrible contractor.

He keeps on making changes without my approval,

and then when I ask him why he did it, he's all like,

"It's better this way."

- So patronising. - Mom, I think that's enough.

- Enough? Oh, no, Camila, I could go on and on.

- No, the juice. - Oh.

- Mm, Marina is still arguing with her

hunky contractor, huh?

Your own personal Cuban Missile Crisis.

Bet you're pretty happy about that.

- Ha-ha. - Get it? 'Cause he's Cuban.

- Yeah, I got it. - And the missile

- would be his... - Yeah, no, I said

I got it, man. Look...

I just want what's best for her, you know?

And if that means that her partnership with Santiago

blows up, and she partners with a less attractive,

possibly female contractor... so be it.

- And I can't say anything about the way he treats me,

'cause then I'll be labeled as "difficult."

- Marina, this is classic workplace sexism.

You have to speak up.

She's right.

Your voice is the strongest antiseptic to the infection

- that is the patriarchy. - Whoa.

Where did that come from?

- Oh, Mom got me a book called "Your Voice is

"the Strongest Antiseptic to the Infection

- That is the Patriarchy." - Of course she did.

- You gotta stand up to this guy.

- You know what? Mija, you're right.

I'm gonna go to him and I'm gonna tell him

that he needs to treat me with some respect,

and if he doesn't want to,

then I don't wanna work with him.

- Yes, do it for all women in male-dominated spaces.

- Yes! - Lean in!

- Whoo! - Yeah!

Can I have some of that OJ?

- Yeah, go ahead and wash down your male entitlement.

- Woman does the work and you reap the spoils.

Gaslighter.

But I'm thirsty.

Not your moment, buddy.

Just trust me, walk away.

[upbeat music]

? Hey, hey, hey, hey ?

- You seem like you're in a good mood.

Your investments back up?

I'm working on it.

You know, falling to the bottom of the 1% of the 1%

has really made me rethink my spending habits.

I now look at the price before I buy things.

- Oh my God. That must be horrible.

- You know a gallon of milk costs 20 bucks?

- It does not. That's not even close.

Lupe sent me the receipt.

- This is because you had one gallon of milk

delivered from an artisanal market

all the way across town.

Plus you tipped the guy 9 bucks.

- We had to send him back for cereal.

I guess I got to start budgeting.

- Did someone say budgeting? - Oh, crap.

- That word's like my bat signal.

If you're trying to save money, today is coupon day.

Speak on that.

Oh, Connor, Connor, baby,

ho ho ho.

Coupon day is a magical day once a month

when coupons are worth double.

- Denise, Connor's still worth millions.

I'm not sure he's going to get into couponing.

- Exploiting a financial system

to increase asset retention?

Literally my bread and butter.

Ah, would you look at that?

A coupon for bread and butter.

- Wanna cruise the aisles with me?

I'm down.

I can break in my new Elite Executive Black Card.

Every purchase earns me double points on yacht rentals.

It's kinda like a coupon, right?

- Starting to regret this. - The only two people who have

- this card are me and Rihanna. - Please stop.

Hola. How's it going?

- It's going as quickly as possible.

- Sorry... is this semi-gloss?

I definitely said flat.

- I got semi-gloss instead.

Without asking me?

- Trust me, it's better this way.

That's it.

Santiago, you can't treat me like this anymore.

Like what?

- You second guess my work, you change things

without my approval.

And I grew up with enough of this machista crap.

I don't need it at work too.

So unless you can treat me with some professional respect,

I think we should part ways.

I'm sorry.

- See, I knew you were going to go there.

And listen... what did you say?

I'm a bad communicator.

I've been working on it in therapy.

Therapy?

- The hardest remodel of all is the soul.

I grew up with five brothers and a dad

that never said "I love you."

But that's just a justification.

That is not an excuse, as Dr. Friedman says.

Oh.

- The reason I switched to semi-glass

is because this family has three kids and a dog.

- And they're gonna need... - And they need something

that wipes. Of course.

Still getting a handle on this design thing.

- Well, you have a real talent for it.

And I would know, because I have worked with

a lot of folks who don't know their wicker from their rattan.

- Thank you. [laughs]

Wow, so this went well.

[both laughing]

- So what's on the schedule for today, boss?

Oh, I don't know.

I was planning on having stormed out by now.

I even had a good burn for when I left.

- Ooh, yeah? What was it?

Forget your stud finder.

You're gonna need a new designer finder.

- I mean... - Yeah, it's a fun area, but...

- Yeah, but, no, there's something there.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

So you're telling me

I can use these two coupons on the same item?

Oh yeah.

Because that one is from the manufacturer,

and that one is from the store. It's called stacking.

The store hates it, but there's nothing they can do about it.

- Oh, you're bad. - Then why does it feel

- so good? - Ha ha ha.

Okay, one more thing.

My lucky fanny pack.

- I'll wear it proudly. - I know you will.

Okay.

Connor, this is where we part.

I can't have you slowing me down.

I'll see you on the other side.

[Muzak playing]

? ?

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Whoa, whoa.

- Nice fanny pack. - Thanks.

It's limited edish.

Mm, so fashion forward.

[Muzak continues]

? ?

- Don't judge me. I like sardines.

? ?

- Mm. - Mmm...

[beep]

A gallon of milk is $4?

Wow.

Inflation's a bitch.

Following me?

Chh, you wish.

You've been following me since the frozen food aisle.

- Ah? I bet the security footage

would say otherwise.

- Ugh. - Oh, I actually have

a coupon for that.

- Oh, is that what the fanny pack is for?

2 bucks off your detergent.

- Don't tell anyone. - Call me old-fashioned,

but I can't take a coupon from a stranger.

In that case, I'm Connor.

Nikki.

- Will that be cash or card? - Uh, card.

- Are you gonna enter in your phone number

- for the member discount? - I'm not a member.

- You can use mine. Give me your phone.

There. Now you have my number

- for, you know, groceries. - Sorry.

- Your card won't go through. - Oh, can you try it again?

I really need these points.

- [beeping] - Yeah, sorry. No.

Mm, all right, I'll pay cash.

- If I had a dollar for every time my card got declined,

it would never get declined.

Surprise.

Hey!

What are you doing here?

- Well, I could tell you'd been having a rough time at work.

So I swung by Morningstar's, picked up your favourite drink.

Six shots of espresso?

And nine pumps of hazelnut.

I was embarrassed ordering it.

- Oh my God, honey, this is perfect.

Thank you.

Oh, and by the way, I had that talk with Santiago.

- Oh. What happened? Did he storm out?

Ugh, I hate that.

- Well, that's what I was expecting.

- He's a jerk, all right? Good riddance.

You know, If you need help, I can roll up my sleeves

and call some new contractors.

- Hey Marine... oh, hey, Tom, it's good to see you.

- Hey, Santiago, you're still here

with that... very strong handshake.

- We actually talked and hashed everything out this morning.

So isn't that great?

Wow, so great, so great.

- Oh, by the way, honey, can you do dinner

without me tonight?

Santiago and I need to grab a bite and work late.

- Oh, okay, you guys are having dinner together,

you and, uh, Santiago?

- Yeah, we got slammed with a request from our client.

- "I said vintage subway tiles."

[laughter] Oh my gosh.

She sounds exactly like that. [both laughing]

Don't do that.

Or... don't do that.

Come to our house.

I'll grill up some steaks.

- You haven't touched the grill in a year.

Well, all the more reason.

It's grill season, baby.

Steaks sound great.

- Yeah. - All right, then.

That's a date.

Well, it's not a date.

That's kind of a weird way to put it.

It's just three people hanging out, two of which

are committed to each other for life. Ha.

- What did you take? Like eight cheese samples?

- Hey, if they wanted one per customer,

they should've set a sign that said one per customer.

Oh, look at this jerk.

- You don't... You don't like that car?

It's just rich people

thinking they can take two parking spots

like they own the world.

- Yeah. - Meanwhile, we're cutting

coupons just to get by.

- Yeah, I mean, they probably just,

you know, didn't want someone in this lot

to ding their nice car.

Probably happens all the time, and they were tired of it.

But, yeah, to hell with him or her.

I don't know who owns it.

- Well, you know, this has been nice.

You have my number now.

So maybe I'll meet you at the deli counter sometime.

- Totally, yeah. I'm gonna, um...

call a bus.

[light music]

? ?

Connor, where are you going?

? ?

- Wait a second. These don't look right.

- Now if you've cranked up that heat,

slap those steaks on the grill for about four minutes.

- Is it four minutes total or four minutes on each side?

- Hey grill master. - Hey... oh!

Hey.

It's just a little grill humour.

Hello, Mrs. Cow?

Unfortunately, I have some bad news about your husband.

- Do you need help? - No, not at all.

What are you talking about?

This is my domain, or my bro-main.

- You know, if you want to put something on there,

I have a spicy marinade recipe that is...

We don't want that.

Marina likes her meat plain.

- I don't know, it might be interesting to try something

with a, you know, some more flavour.

- Why? Why would you say that?

Plain meat's always been good to you.

I'm sure it's not the most exciting recipe,

but it's reliable.

- What? - What? Nothing.

Hear that sizzle?

Looks like it's time to get these bad boys off the pit.

Oh... okay!

Dinner and a show, right?

- Well, I get why she thought you were poor.

I did give you a fanny pack full of coupons

and took you to a grocery store called Sav-Eez.

But she made it very clear

how she feels about rich people.

And I'm rich.

[gasp] You're what?

I'm serious.

She seemed so cool and funny and smart.

Ugh, sometimes being a millionaire sucks.

- Yeah, that's why I chose not to do it.

- [phone vibrates] - Hello.

- Hey it's Nikki from the grocery store.

I think we may have swapped a bag at checkout.

I'm pretty sure I didn't buy Thick Boy protein powder.

- Oh yeah, it looks like I have yours too.

- Well, you know, I can come by and swap bags.

- Okay, great, yeah, I'll text you the address.

Okay, I'll see you soon.

- Yeah [stammers] bye n... bye now.

[doorbell rings]

Hey!

Hi.

I'm sorry. I'm a little confused.

Is this your house?

- Yeah, so funny story. Um...

No, yeah, no, I just work here for her.

- It's her house. - This is what?

- And she is super rich. So lame.

? ?

- So, yeah, I basically just manage things around here.

It's Denise's place.

She is a super high net worth individual.

She actually invented... Go-Gurt.

- Oh, wow. - Yeah.

Okay, Connor, this is so...

true, so true.

You know, one day, I thought to myself,

what if people could suck dairy from a tube?

So here we are.

- Well, I'm a big fan. - Of course you are.

You know, why don't you sit on my very expensive couch,

and my houseboy will get you some iced tea?

Houseboy?

All right, let's chow down.

I gave these a healthy char.

Yep, the tougher the better.

- [thud] - I could, uh...

I could bring some fruit salad.

Oh, it's not that bad.

You know, when my grandfather taught me how to grill,

he would always say, [speaking in Spanish]

[laughter]

- Well, my grandfather used to say,

Marina, [speaking in Spanish]

Totally.

[speaking in Spanish]

- Ah! [laughing]

That's great.

- Tom. - I was just explaining

how my other grandfather was murdered

in the Cuban Revolution.

And his memory lives on.

That's great.

Thank you for sharing that story with us.

Does anyone want a beer?

Yeah, yeah, I'll take one.

- Here you go. Oh, you know what?

I forgot the opener.

- I'll go grab it. - Oh, no need, no need.

- Uh... [giggle] Incre�ble.

- Yeah, totally in-cre-�ble.

- Want me to do you? - Sure.

No, no, no, I'll do her.

Thanks. I'll be the one doing her.

Let me just get the right angle here.

[bang]

You know, I can open that.

I said I got it, all right?

- Tom, you're scuffing the table.

- You know what, I saw this in a movie once.

- Oh... - Oh God, no.

- Don't do that. - I got it.

Put the beer down.

- [mumbling] I... got it...

[grunts] Ah.

[clatter]

Are you okay?

No, I'm fine.

I'm fine.

This beer tastes like blood.

- Is your boss okay with me being here?

- Oh yeah, especially now that she's drinking...

one of her most expensive bottles of wine.

- Well, this isn't the worst place in the world to work.

Yeah.

- I mean, I spend all my days putting

thermometers up dog butts.

So you're a paralegal, huh?

No, but, seriously, you're a vet, right?

Vet tech.

And I actually really love it.

I prefer animals over people, so...

- My daughter's been begging me for a puppy.

And she's pretty hard to say no to.

- You have a daughter? - Yeah, I'm divorced.

It's a... whole thing.

- I get it. Been there.

- You're divorced too? - Several years now.

Not to brag, but I was married and divorced

before I turned 27, so...

- Yeah, I'm on track to have a midlife crisis

by the time I'm 35.

To making mistakes early.

[clink]

Oh, houseboy.

- Houseboy! - Coming.

Sorry.

You have to come clean.

I don't want to be here anymore.

Then just go.

- I'm not going to leave and let you continue

to lie to this woman in my yogurt mansion.

- I just need a little more time.

- Fine. I'm going to make myself a snack.

- No, you can't. I'm supposed to be the houseboy.

Okay.

Houseboy, I'd love a grilled cheese.

- Coming right up. A grilled cheese?

I don't know how to make one of those.

- That was the simplest thing I could think of.

- Oh, if you're making grilled cheese, I want in on that.

- I'll make it a grilled cheese for two.

[speaking in Spanish]

You guys all done with work?

Because I heard a lot of laughing there.

It didn't sound like work, but, I mean, what do I know?

I'm not in "the biz."

- Tom, is something bothering you?

No, nothing.

I mean, I guess a little bit of jaw pain.

- Great, so you're not jealous. - Of course I'm jealous.

How can I not be jealous?

You guys are all BFFs with your work jokes, and your Spanish,

and your perfectly symmetrical faces.

How am I supposed to compete with that?

- You don't need to compete with that.

He's just some guy that I work with.

- Oh, so you're telling me that you've never pictured him

as an underwear model? Because I have.

Let me tell you something. He's pulling it off.

- Okay, fine, he's objectively attractive.

Oh! Ho ho ho!

- But you want to know what he isn't?

He isn't the kind of guy who brings me

my favourite coffee to work because he

thinks I'm having a bad day.

He isn't the kind of guy who supports me to quit my job

because he knows that I'm trying

to chase my dream of becoming an interior designer.

- I guess I did do all those things.

- There is no competition because I choose you, okay?

And I would choose you over and over again.

Thank you.

- [deep voice] You're welcome.

- There's not just like a little part of you

- that might want to... - Ay, dios m�o.

I'm going to go shower.

You're crazy.

He's a frickin' smokeshow.

Okay, grilled cheese,

which is... no doy,

bread and cheese.

And I'm going to go ahead and cook it in the...

- On the stove. - On the stove, obviously.

Come on, who's the houseboy here?

[chuckles]

Okay, easy peasy, grilled cheesy.

Connor!

[groans]

What did we say about you touching the stove?

Uh, who is this?

- Oh, this is Lupe. She...

- She's the... next door neighbour.

Yeah, she's also super rich.

Right, Lupe?

Yes. I'm wealthy.

My father made his fortune in blood diamonds,

so I grew up in privilege.

But I always knew that our wealth came at a price,

which is why I have devoted myself to philanthropy

and running my foundation, the Lupe Moreno Initiative,

which seeks to repair the damage

caused by the unethical harvesting of mine diamonds.

Whoa.

Sometimes I forget all that.

- And you don't want Connor touching the stove?

- There was once a fire at our summer home in Vienna.

Ever since, I have made it my mission to campaign

against open flame.

Anyway, I'm going to return to my mansion next door now

with my dry cleaning.

I wear men's pants.

Okay.

Does anyone want to tell me what's going on?

Connor?

She's my housekeeper.

Denise is my sister-in-law.

I'm not a houseboy.

I'm a-I'm a mansion boy, a mansion man.

I'm sorry.

- Ugh. I should have known when you said

you had to call a bus.

You don't deserve to use coupons.

My mom was right.

I'm only attracted to liars and guys who play bass.

Look, I'm sorry, all right?

That was dumb.

It's just that, I don't know.

We met and we clicked, and it was great.

And then... you said you hated rich guys.

And I didn't want you to hate me.

So you lied?

- Yeah, but not about everything.

I mean, besides being one of the Bay Area's leading

private equity investors, I really am that guy

that you met at the store.

I'm a divorced dad of an awesome daughter.

And I like you.

And I like saving money with coupons.

- Oh my... it's literally just free money

- sitting on the table. - That's what I'm saying!

So would you... consider giving me a second chance?

I did like the fanny pack.

Is that a "yes"?

Maybe.

- I'll take it. I got a "maybe."

Hola.

Oh, hey.

- Sorry about dinner last night.

Oh, that's all right.

I've had worse steak.

Actually, I haven't.

- Uh, this is going to sound silly,

but Tom is a little sensitive about us working together,

especially because you're, well,

you've looked in the mirror.

Anyway, I told him that obviously

everything between us is just business.

Totally.

Unless it's not.

Ha, right.

What?

Marina...

[jazzy seductive music]

Let's stop playing games.

- Oh, I... I...

I didn't know we were playing games.

W-what games?

Scrabble?

Yahtzee?

? ?

- [alarm clock beeping] - [gasps]

- Good morning mi esposa hermosa.

[alarm stops] Breakfast in bed for milady.

I'm "sor"?

- Yeah, well it was supposed to say "sorry,"

but I ran out of berries.

Oh.

- I just wanted to say I'm "sor" for yesterday.

I was being insecure and jealous.

And plus I'd had that half of beer, so...

Anyway, I just want you to know if you

tell me that you're not attracted to Santiago,

I 100% trust you.

I won't spend another moment worrying about it.

Me either.

- I was going to spend the summer in the Hamptons,

but the humidity, oh, I'm over it.

- Darling, you must go to Menorca.

It's the new Mallorca.

- How funny, my newest horse is from Menorca.

- That's a scream. [both laugh]

Are you guys almost finished?

- What's that, houseboy? - It's getting late.

I'm hungry.

- Why don't you make yourself a grilled cheese?

[laughter]

- Gretchen, do you know how to unlock the stove?

- The houseboy has quite the attitude.

- Yeah, I'm thinking about replacing him with a robot.

Now that's an idea.

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