Original subtitles

♪♪

♪♪

Yay, this is so exciting!

[chattering]

Cheese!

Yeah, so great to be opening a new house for the boys!

I know, it looks so good.

Are you guys excited to see it?

- Yeah! - It has nine bedrooms!

Sorry, I'm late.

No, it's okay.

- Where's Colton? - Oh.

Well, we parked and he got a call from someone named Kelly,

he told me to just head on in and he'd be right there.

I mean, I'm sure something pretty important

came up for him to not be here.

Who's excited about the new rooms?

Must have.

Hi, guys.

Three, two, one.

[cheering]

I'll be right back.

Okay, I got this.

[phone ringing]

Becks, where's Colton?

And look, I don't give a fuck about man code.

- Who's Kelly? - Okay. No idea.

And last I talked to him,

he was taking Shane out driving

and then heading to the ceremony.

He's not answering his phone.

Wait, hold on. Quinn's calling.

Hey, is Colton okay?

I was calling to ask you.

He left a rambling message saying

he needs to talk to someone

because his head was all fucked up.

Okay, I'm... I'm going to call you as soon as I know something.

Okay, bye.

- Hey. - Did you find him?

No.

You know him better than anyone.

Where does he go when he needs to clear his head?

You. He goes to you.

Before me, Becks.

- The track. - Okay.

Thanks.

Hi, Sammy.

- Where is he? - Miss Thomas, this way.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Hey. - Hi.

I'm here. I'm here.

[whimpers]

I did what you said...

What did you do?

Found my mom.

Colton...

Kelly, a PI, called me while I was...

Oh, fuck, your ceremony. Ry, I...

I stood you up, I'm so sorry.

That's okay.

I'm so proud of you.

She's dead. My mom is dead.

She never changed.

I don't have any positive memories of her.

Eight years of my fucking life, and I can't think of

a single thing that made me smile.

My mom was a drugged out whore.

I just don't fucking get it.

Don't get what?

I don't get why I fucking care that she's dead.

It's normal to be upset because deep down,

I'm sure in her own way, she... she really loved you.

Love me?

Love was letting her drug dealing pimp rape her son,

fuck her little boy while he had to repeat out loud

how much he loved it. Loved him...

So she can get her next fucking fix.

So she could score enough drugs to get her next high.

Love was sitting on the other side of a

closed bedroom door hearing her little boy screaming.

The worst motherfucking pain!

While he's ripped apart physically, emotionally

and not doing a goddamn thing about it

because she's so fucking selfish.

Love was snapping a little boy's arm in half

'cause he bit the man raping him so hard that now

she won't her next fucking speedball.

Love was telling him he wants it.

Deserves it.

And no one will ever love him if they know.

Oh, and to seal the deal...

Love was saying that the superheroes he calls to

while he's being violated... ruined...

they're never coming to save him.

So yeah...

That's love and my first eight years.

That was love like you wouldn't believe.

[sobbing]

It's okay.

It's okay.

I never said those words out loud.

Never told anyone.

Colton.

Spiderman, Batman, Superman, Iron man.

Hey.

Spiderman, Batman, Superman, Iron man.

So many things that I want and need

to say to you right now.

That I want to say to the little boy

you were into the incredible man that you are.

Colton Donovan...

This is not your fault.

If you can hear one thing I tell you,

please let it be this.

You've carried this around for so long

and I need you to hear me tell you that nothing

that you did as a child or as a man

deserved what happened to you.

You have nothing to be ashamed of.

Not then, not now, not ever.

I'm in awe of your strength.

You are not broken

or fucked up or hopeless.

You are brave and resilient.

And honorable.

You came from a place of unfathomable pain

and yet you are such a light that has helped to heal me.

- Helped heal my boys. - No, Ry.

Yes, baby. It's true.

I can't imagine how hard it was asking your Dad

for the help to find your mother,

and I can't imagine how it felt taking that call today.

It cannot fathom how hard it was...

To share the secret that has weighed

so heavily on your soul for so long.

Thank you.

Thank you for trusting enough to share with me.

Used to, uh...

Used to come up to me from behind.

That's why, uh...

Okay.

Superheroes.

As a boy, I just needed...

something to hold on to.

Fuck, Ry.

You're the alphabet.

A to fucking Z.

Goddamn Becks.

It's because of you, Ry.

I've pushed and pulled and hurt you way too much.

Despite all that, you fought for me.

To keep me.

Heal me.

To race me.

Once my life.

I want someone to do that for me.

I'm going to be free to do that for someone else.

I want a chance to prove I'm capable of it.

That all this didn't rob me of it.

I can be who you need.

Give you what you want.

There's something I need to do.

Will you come with me?

♪♪

Time to lay demons to rest and move on.

Hey, Sledge.

New beginnings. Rebirth.

[giggles]

[tattoo needle buzzes]

♪♪

I think it's the perfect time for my first tattoo.

I want the same thing but a lot smaller.

New beginnings.

You know, that's permanent, right?

Yeah.

Kind of like we are.

Ooh!

Ow.

[chuckles]

Can we have ice cream for breakfast?

What the woman wants, the woman gets.

I like the sound of that

because I have a whole lot of wants, Mr. Donovan.

And for dinner, you want pancakes.

I'm afraid I'm gonna hurt you.

You're not gonna hurt me.

Your not wanting to be with me, that's what hurts me.

I need you, Colton.

Every side of you.

♪♪

Colton, condom.

I don't want to wear a condom.

We have to be smart.

No, Ry. No.

What are you saying?

In that waiting room...

When the doctor told us about our baby...

Feelings I never thought possible filled me.

I realize what you meant to me.

What we created together.

The best parts of us. No, no, no, don't cry.

Don't cry, it's like...

Out of this horrible darkness I've had to live

my whole life is this incredible ray of light.

All I need is you.

Just you, Rylee.

And the boys and...

Whatever else we create together.

I love you, Rylee.

- Colton... - I love you, Rylee.

I think I always have.

Since that first night

you were that bright spot.

That fucking spark

I couldn't hide from even when darkness claimed me.

I love you.

I love you, Colton.

You're a amazing...

complicated, stubborn, gorgeous man.

That I can't get enough of.

[chuckles]

♪♪

[moaning]

[panting]

[panting continues]

[moaning]

The alphabet, Ace?

Yeah.

Seeing the alphabet in a whole new light these days.

♪♪

[shouting]

By that sappy-ass look on your face,

I take it things are going good?

Pretty much.

Some asshole friend made me realize how much

I like the alphabet.

Huh.

Sounds like that asshole friends

deserves a shitload of beers in thank you.

Cannonball!

[shrieks]

[laughing, chattering]

♪♪

[engines revving]

You okay?

I'm getting there.

Starting a new tradition?

Two knocks for extra luck or something?

No.

All the extra luck I need is right here.

It's going to be okay, baby.

Heaven doesn't want me yet, fuck if hell can handle me,

so you're kind of stuck with me.

So just tell me you're wearing some kind of checkered flag

I could claim there,

cause fuck, I wanna throw you over my shoulder

and take a test lap right now.

[chattering]

I love you, Ryles.

I love you, too, Ace.

Checkered flag time, baby.

Boy, let's fire them up.

[engine revving]

Check, check, ABC,

- The alphabet? - A to motherfucking Z.

ANNOUNCER: It's really great to be back here in Texas.

You know, this is Colton Donovan's first appearance

after that horrific accident.

I know we're all hoping he'll make it through the season.

And they're off!

♪♪

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