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1
00:00:02,936 --> 00:00:05,339
Danielle, your résumé
is very impressive.
2
00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:07,407
But we're not just
looking for a new baker,
3
00:00:07,441 --> 00:00:10,043
we're-we're looking for
a new member of the family.
4
00:00:10,110 --> 00:00:11,879
Oh, not me, I got
too much family.
5
00:00:11,979 --> 00:00:12,880
I need muffins.
6
00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:14,281
(Kat chuckles)
7
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:15,716
See, Randi's the sassy
younger sister
8
00:00:15,782 --> 00:00:17,551
and I'm the cool older sister
where you're like,
9
00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:21,154
"She's valedictorian and makes
her own blue jeans? What?"
10
00:00:21,221 --> 00:00:23,891
(laughs) So, would you be able
to work an early morning shift?
11
00:00:23,957 --> 00:00:26,059
And more importantly,
if you were a bird,
12
00:00:26,093 --> 00:00:27,494
what kind of bird would you be?
13
00:00:27,594 --> 00:00:30,464
Oh, what does that
have to do with this job?
14
00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:32,299
Well, I'm just trying
to learn more about her.
15
00:00:32,432 --> 00:00:34,101
We don't want to spend
day after day
16
00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:36,270
with someone who's so annoying.
17
00:00:36,336 --> 00:00:38,906
Yeah, I wonder what that
would be like.
18
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:42,209
I'm sorry, I don't understand
the bird question.
19
00:00:42,309 --> 00:00:46,013
Ha. Looks like we got
ourselves a dodo.
20
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,549
So, Gideon,
21
00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:49,650
it says here you come from
22
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:52,252
the second-largest Amish
community in Kentucky.
23
00:00:52,319 --> 00:00:56,156
It would have been the largest
if we believed in vaccines.
24
00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:57,524
It also says here
25
00:00:57,591 --> 00:00:59,626
that the only other job
you've ever had is
26
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:01,061
"doing the Lord's work"?
27
00:01:01,161 --> 00:01:05,432
Oh, it's 24-7, but I've got
the best boss ever.
28
00:01:05,532 --> 00:01:07,734
So, what brings you
to Louisville?
29
00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:12,139
Well, I've lived in one place
my entire life and...
30
00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:14,007
I'm not sure I belong there.
31
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:17,544
The menfolk laugh at me,
the womenfolk ignore me.
32
00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:21,048
I mean, I'm 40,
I should be a grandpa by now.
33
00:01:21,181 --> 00:01:24,218
Well, I get the "feeling
like you don't belong" thing.
34
00:01:24,318 --> 00:01:25,752
When I was in high school,
35
00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:29,022
I tried to start a clique for
people who weren't in cliques.
36
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,357
Got squeezed out.
37
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:32,626
Stupid Ashley and her eye patch.
38
00:01:32,726 --> 00:01:35,262
I swear it changed sides.
39
00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:37,264
Okay, well, thank you
for coming in.
40
00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:38,966
Wait, no, hang on, hang on.
41
00:01:39,066 --> 00:01:41,068
If you were a bird...
42
00:01:41,168 --> 00:01:42,970
what kind of bird would you be?
43
00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:45,305
I was thinking about that
this morning.
44
00:01:45,405 --> 00:01:48,275
I would be
the bluebird of happiness.
45
00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:50,277
Well,
tweedle-deedle-ding-dong-dee,
46
00:01:50,377 --> 00:01:52,479
that is the exact right answer!
47
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:53,514
You're in!
48
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:54,982
The running. (chuckles)
49
00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:57,017
Do you have a number
where we can reach you?
50
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,385
Oh, well, I don't have a phone,
51
00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,587
but how about you just
go outside and yell,
52
00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:01,989
"Ich hab en Kivvel"?
53
00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:05,425
It means "I have a bucket,"
but we'll get it.
54
00:02:05,526 --> 00:02:06,927
Yeah, we will.
55
00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:08,295
-All right.
-Bye.
56
00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:10,531
Well, good luck with
your other interviews.
57
00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:13,100
-He's perfect!
-What?
58
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:14,368
We've interviewed
over 20 people,
59
00:02:14,434 --> 00:02:16,036
and that's who you want to hire?
60
00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:17,638
His story is beautiful.
61
00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:20,240
Growing up Amish, wondering
what else is out there,
62
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:22,342
learning in this very café
five minutes ago
63
00:02:22,409 --> 00:02:24,411
that women are allowed
to own businesses.
64
00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:26,313
Okay, so you remember
that woman Danielle
65
00:02:26,446 --> 00:02:28,949
who went to a culinary school
in Paris?
66
00:02:29,016 --> 00:02:30,250
Gideon's only reference
67
00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:33,387
is a basket weaver
named Old Jebediah.
68
00:02:33,453 --> 00:02:37,057
Randi, come on. I think I know
what he's going through.
69
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,458
I mean, just two years ago,
70
00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:40,594
I decided I didn't want
to be a math professor
71
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,362
and I wanted to own a cat café.
72
00:02:42,462 --> 00:02:44,331
Yeah, and everyone
judges you for it.
73
00:02:44,398 --> 00:02:46,700
Oh, please. Nobody judges me.
74
00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:47,968
Wha...?
75
00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:56,610
Okay, now I see why One-Eyed
Ashley squeezed your ass out.
76
00:02:57,711 --> 00:02:59,413
♪ Me, oh, my, oh, my, oh, me ♪
77
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:02,182
♪ Nothin' wrong with you
but I'd rather be me. ♪
78
00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:05,185
Max, do you find me attractive?
79
00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:08,622
Once again, Sheila, I grazed
against you in that elevator,
80
00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:11,658
but it was an accident
and I'm dating your daughter.
81
00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:13,126
It's just, there are three times
82
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,128
as many women as men
at Valley Hills,
83
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:18,498
and even I'm having trouble
standing out from the crowd.
84
00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:23,036
All those hussies
with their new hips.
85
00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:24,238
Well, I think you're beautiful.
86
00:03:24,271 --> 00:03:26,740
And you and me have more
in common than you think.
87
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:27,941
I'm retired, too.
88
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:29,810
You're unemployed.
89
00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:31,245
Tomato, potato.
90
00:03:31,311 --> 00:03:33,480
Want to party in my Pontiac?
91
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,048
Is there anyone
you're interested in?
92
00:03:35,115 --> 00:03:38,018
I'm really hoping to get
to know this guy Rodrigo.
93
00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:41,255
Ooh, he's handsome, charming,
speaks Spanish.
94
00:03:41,321 --> 00:03:42,656
I don't know, there's
something exciting
95
00:03:42,789 --> 00:03:45,926
about a man who
can roll his Rs.
96
00:03:45,993 --> 00:03:51,698
(rolling Rs):
Burrito. In a Pontiac Fiero.
97
00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:53,901
Please move a chair away.
98
00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:55,969
So why don't you ask
this Rodrigo out?
99
00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:58,472
I would if I could get
a moment alone with him.
100
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,707
He's always surrounded
by a bunch of women
101
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:03,277
with visible diaper lines.
102
00:04:03,343 --> 00:04:04,878
You need to find
yourself a wingman.
103
00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:07,047
Someone who can distract
the competition
104
00:04:07,114 --> 00:04:08,115
so you can get closer to...
105
00:04:08,182 --> 00:04:11,118
(struggling to roll Rs):
Rodrigo.
106
00:04:11,185 --> 00:04:12,519
What are you doing?
107
00:04:12,619 --> 00:04:13,620
It's like this.
108
00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:15,489
(struggling to roll Rs):
Rodrigo.
109
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:17,024
See? That easy.
110
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:20,928
(rolling Rs):
My Fiero is right outside.
111
00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:22,863
(door opens)
112
00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:24,932
-Hey, guys.
-CARTER: Hey. -Hi.
113
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:26,567
Well, the search is over,
114
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,969
we finally found our new baker.
115
00:04:29,036 --> 00:04:30,103
This is Gideon.
116
00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:31,972
-Hey.
-Hi, Gideon. Welcome.
117
00:04:32,039 --> 00:04:34,541
Wow, my first bar.
118
00:04:34,641 --> 00:04:36,777
And my second Black person.
119
00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:37,911
Excuse me?
120
00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:38,979
Amish.
121
00:04:39,046 --> 00:04:41,448
Oh. I loved you in Kingpin.
122
00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:43,584
Gideon is on a journey
of self-discovery.
123
00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:46,587
And as someone who recently
went through this myself,
124
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:48,856
I am giddy to be his guide.
125
00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:50,891
(laughs) Hang on.
126
00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:53,193
Giddy. Gideon.
127
00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:54,428
Did you do that on purpose?
128
00:04:54,494 --> 00:04:56,063
Yeah, wordplay's
kind of my thing.
129
00:04:56,163 --> 00:04:57,397
(both laughing)
130
00:04:57,464 --> 00:05:01,435
Anyway, these are all
of my favorite people.
131
00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:03,170
Oh, and my mother.
132
00:05:03,237 --> 00:05:04,404
Whoa.
133
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:07,140
You are so glamorous.
134
00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:09,109
Are you a prostitute?
135
00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:12,312
Aw, aren't you a dear?
136
00:05:12,379 --> 00:05:14,147
♪ ♪
137
00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:17,618
Okay, that'll be $12.45.
138
00:05:17,684 --> 00:05:18,886
Or if you're open to barter,
139
00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:21,522
I would take a half cord
of wood or a haircut.
140
00:05:21,555 --> 00:05:23,891
I'm in. How do you feel
about a mullet?
141
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:25,826
Wait, no, no bartering,
no bartering.
142
00:05:25,893 --> 00:05:26,994
Money is just fine.
143
00:05:27,094 --> 00:05:28,662
What are you doing?
Let him cut his hair.
144
00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:31,331
Hold up, this cupcake
doesn't have any frosting on it.
145
00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:34,434
Frosting is vanity,
and vanity is a sin.
146
00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:37,204
So is drinking before noon,
but here we are.
147
00:05:37,271 --> 00:05:39,973
Gideon, frosting is not a sin.
148
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,776
Yeah, and-and I know your faith
is important to you,
149
00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:44,945
but these
bible-inspired cookies,
150
00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:46,146
they're not really selling.
151
00:05:46,246 --> 00:05:48,081
But they're scripture-doodles.
152
00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:51,385
Well, they taste like
the cookies you get in hell.
153
00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:53,086
Son of a biscuit.
154
00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:55,889
I am not good at this job.
155
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:57,591
Old Jebediah is right,
156
00:05:57,624 --> 00:06:00,460
I don't learn nothing
without the switch.
157
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:01,662
No, come on.
158
00:06:01,728 --> 00:06:04,598
No one expects you to get
everything right your first day.
159
00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:06,333
Look at me and the SATs.
160
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,902
It took me two tries
to get a perfect score.
161
00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,170
Actually, it only took one,
162
00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:11,772
I'm just trying
to make him feel better.
163
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:12,940
Aw, shucks.
164
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,274
You're just being nice.
165
00:06:14,308 --> 00:06:16,343
And you're just being too hard
on yourself.
166
00:06:16,410 --> 00:06:18,645
People like you and me,
we beat ourselves up.
167
00:06:18,745 --> 00:06:20,147
But we don't have to.
168
00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:21,415
That's what Randi's for.
169
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:24,151
If you love what you do,
it's not a job.
170
00:06:24,218 --> 00:06:27,387
Gosh it all to heck,
you're right.
171
00:06:27,487 --> 00:06:28,922
I'm gonna go back
to that kitchen
172
00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:33,126
and make some dank cupcakes,
no cap, bitches.
173
00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:37,898
What? You're not the only one
who can teach him things.
174
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:40,601
(both chuckle)
175
00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:43,871
You guys want a drink?
176
00:06:43,971 --> 00:06:46,507
Roy here makes
a mean White Russian
177
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:48,141
with vodka and Ensure.
178
00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:51,178
I thought you said you needed us
to move a bunch of old bags.
179
00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:53,247
Yes, they're over there.
180
00:06:55,048 --> 00:06:58,185
Move them away from Rodrigo.
181
00:06:58,218 --> 00:06:59,720
Start with Nancy.
182
00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:01,288
She's a little
too full of herself
183
00:07:01,388 --> 00:07:03,657
since she went into remission.
184
00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:06,627
Wait, wait, did you bring us
here to be your wingmen?
185
00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:09,530
So that's why you asked
if I had Daisy Dukes.
186
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:12,165
Oh, if I still had a car,
you'd be washing it.
187
00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:13,901
Sheila, we are not
pieces of meat.
188
00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:15,536
Oh, speak for yourself.
189
00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:17,437
I like being objectified.
190
00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:19,640
It feels nice.
191
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:23,710
Hey, I'm thinking about making
Gideon a dating profile.
192
00:07:23,810 --> 00:07:25,913
Do you think it's safe to say
he's still a virgin?
193
00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:29,650
Girl, I wouldn't be surprised if
he's never seen himself naked.
194
00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:31,218
And why would you do that?
195
00:07:31,318 --> 00:07:33,787
Well, because he said one of the
reasons he left his community
196
00:07:33,921 --> 00:07:34,721
was to find love.
197
00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:36,523
Plus he's the only person
I've ever met
198
00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:39,626
who could actually be
on Farmers Only.
199
00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:43,397
-(grunting)
-(squishing)
200
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:49,970
Uh, I think he may need
a few minutes alone.
201
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,072
Gideon, are you churning butter?
202
00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:55,309
Oh, we were running low,
so I thought I'd make some.
203
00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:57,077
-Oh, you really
don't have to do that. -No, hang on,
204
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,479
this is gonna kill
on Farmers Only.
205
00:08:00,848 --> 00:08:02,349
You're living in
a modern world now.
206
00:08:02,449 --> 00:08:04,718
You don't have to churn
your own butter.
207
00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:07,387
Right, 'cause it's women's work.
208
00:08:07,454 --> 00:08:08,488
Here, Randi.
209
00:08:08,555 --> 00:08:10,591
Oh, I'd advise you not
to hand me that stick.
210
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,226
What if I told you there's
211
00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:16,029
a magical store that not only
sells already-churned butter
212
00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:18,398
but everything else
you could possibly want?
213
00:08:18,465 --> 00:08:23,337
Oh, there's a butter
and harmonica store?
214
00:08:23,403 --> 00:08:24,938
♪ ♪
215
00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:27,107
Is this heaven?
216
00:08:27,975 --> 00:08:29,843
Better.
217
00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:32,112
It's Costco.
218
00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:41,054
That was in the good old days
when you didn't
219
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:43,423
get fired
for bagging a stewardess.
220
00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:45,025
(laughter)
221
00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:48,729
Oh, yeah. Thanks a lot, Biden.
222
00:08:48,795 --> 00:08:49,763
(laughter)
223
00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:52,032
Oh, keep it in
your pants, Mindy.
224
00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:55,435
Your husband's not dead,
he's just napping.
225
00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:57,304
CARTER:
Hello, ladies.
226
00:08:57,404 --> 00:08:59,640
I didn't know that there
was a fox hunt today.
227
00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:02,009
Good thing I brought my guns.
228
00:09:03,177 --> 00:09:04,912
Ooh.
229
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:06,914
You two are new.
230
00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:07,814
Do you work here?
231
00:09:08,015 --> 00:09:10,217
A friend invited us
to use the exercise room.
232
00:09:10,284 --> 00:09:12,119
Anybody want to help us stretch?
233
00:09:12,186 --> 00:09:13,687
-Ooh.
-Ooh.
234
00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:18,325
Well, I'm gonna stretch you in
places you never knew you had.
235
00:09:18,425 --> 00:09:19,626
(laughter)
236
00:09:21,295 --> 00:09:23,030
Oh.
237
00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:25,532
Hello, Rodrigo.
238
00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:29,069
I'm so happy to finally
get a moment with you.
239
00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:30,604
I'm Sheila Silver.
240
00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:31,839
I know who you are.
241
00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:33,807
They should call you
Centrum Silver
242
00:09:33,907 --> 00:09:36,310
because you got everything
a man might need.
243
00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:39,613
Well, and they should
call you Danish.
244
00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:42,983
Kind of sweet, kind of cheesy.
245
00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:44,351
(laughing)
246
00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:47,087
♪ ♪
247
00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:51,091
Kat? Gideon?
248
00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:54,595
Ooh. Ichabod Evel Knievel!
249
00:09:54,661 --> 00:09:56,296
Randi. Randi. Can I get these?
250
00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,532
-No.
-Oh, um, can I get this?
251
00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:01,401
-Fine.
-Okay, good, because I already opened it.
252
00:10:02,536 --> 00:10:04,171
-Look what I got!
-Whoa!
253
00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:08,375
Gideon, I am your father.
254
00:10:09,176 --> 00:10:12,813
I don't know what's happening
right now, but I love it!
255
00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:16,884
Okay, now I see why
my mama drank so much.
256
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,152
♪ ♪
257
00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:22,122
Ooh, I'm gonna get this
for Carter.
258
00:10:22,189 --> 00:10:24,057
His son buys him cologne
for Father's Day
259
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:26,159
so he wears Iron Man by Marvel.
260
00:10:26,260 --> 00:10:28,161
Gideon, you should try it.
261
00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:30,030
You want me to change my scent?
262
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,765
How will my animals know me?
263
00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:33,967
This is why you left
your community,
264
00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:35,869
to experience new things.
265
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,738
Remember you were nervous
about trying out
266
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,306
that revolving door at first?
267
00:10:39,406 --> 00:10:42,142
Then it turned out to be
the best two hours of your life.
268
00:10:42,209 --> 00:10:45,712
Aw, heck, spray me!
269
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:52,052
Shuck my corn and call me
a good boy, I smell amazing.
270
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:55,489
Who's not hardy enough to be
your husband now, Agatha?
271
00:10:55,589 --> 00:10:57,558
No cap, bitches.
272
00:10:57,624 --> 00:10:58,725
Did I use that right?
273
00:10:58,825 --> 00:10:59,927
Yes.
274
00:11:00,027 --> 00:11:03,964
Whoa. Does the president
of Costco live here?
275
00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:05,399
Pretty sweet, huh?
276
00:11:05,499 --> 00:11:07,935
Oh, and I know these are frowned
upon in your community,
277
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,637
but check this out: zippers.
278
00:11:11,738 --> 00:11:13,607
You want to give it a whirl?
279
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,678
I'm glad my first
time is with you.
280
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:21,515
-Ah!
-Uh-huh.
281
00:11:23,584 --> 00:11:26,820
What the hell am I doing?
I drove here.
282
00:11:26,887 --> 00:11:29,523
♪ ♪
283
00:11:35,929 --> 00:11:37,497
(zipper opens)
284
00:11:37,598 --> 00:11:39,199
What are you doing?
285
00:11:39,233 --> 00:11:41,668
What do you mean? I'm going pee.
286
00:11:42,503 --> 00:11:44,204
What are you doing?
287
00:11:44,271 --> 00:11:46,840
Come on, man, it's basic
men's room etiquette.
288
00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:47,941
You need a buffer.
289
00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:50,043
It goes dude, urinal, dude.
290
00:11:50,143 --> 00:11:52,579
Respect the buffer.
291
00:11:52,646 --> 00:11:54,548
What are you hiding?
292
00:11:54,648 --> 00:11:55,949
Now I want to see.
293
00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:56,950
You know what?
294
00:11:57,017 --> 00:11:58,418
Forget it, now I can't go.
295
00:11:58,485 --> 00:12:00,921
You and I were just about
to get into a hot tub
296
00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:02,823
with 78-year-old twins,
297
00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:04,024
and now you shy?
298
00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:05,526
(toilet flushes)
299
00:12:06,660 --> 00:12:08,428
-Crazy party, huh?
-Yeah.
300
00:12:08,495 --> 00:12:10,931
Can't believe it went
all the way to 6:30.
301
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,032
CARTER:
Yeah.
302
00:12:12,099 --> 00:12:13,300
When Jeopardy! came on,
303
00:12:13,367 --> 00:12:14,968
they scattered like
the cops showed up.
304
00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:17,738
Yeah, you guys did
really well tonight.
305
00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:18,739
Little tip.
306
00:12:18,872 --> 00:12:21,909
When Gladys takes out
her teeth, it's game on.
307
00:12:22,009 --> 00:12:23,977
-Yikes.
-Hot.
308
00:12:24,044 --> 00:12:25,512
Man, you've got some moves.
309
00:12:25,579 --> 00:12:27,814
We saw you talking to
that beautiful redhead.
310
00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:30,217
Yeah, we got a date
tomorrow night.
311
00:12:30,284 --> 00:12:32,853
Well, good for you, man.
She seems really cool.
312
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:34,788
Yeah, we were talking
to her earlier.
313
00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:36,390
Funny. Smart.
314
00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:37,991
I think she's
girlfriend material.
315
00:12:38,058 --> 00:12:39,426
Girlfriend?
316
00:12:39,493 --> 00:12:43,430
Nah, that's not the way
Rodrigo rolls.
317
00:12:46,166 --> 00:12:47,367
I don't know about that guy.
318
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:50,604
He gives off a weird
1970s cop show vibe.
319
00:12:50,671 --> 00:12:52,172
Yeah, he's kind of a player.
320
00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:54,174
But Sheila's really into him.
321
00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:56,109
Yeah.
322
00:12:58,178 --> 00:13:00,247
I don't trust you.
323
00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:03,750
See? Now I know you
hiding something.
324
00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:06,186
♪ ♪
325
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:08,222
Now, tell me the truth.
326
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:09,523
Do you like big butts?
327
00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:11,225
And you cannot lie.
328
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,460
Hey, shake what your mama
gave you.
329
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:15,062
All right.
330
00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:19,366
Check it out! Kat in the hat!
331
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,468
I told you, you should've
gotten one.
332
00:13:21,535 --> 00:13:24,238
Yeah, I feel real stupid
sitting here like this.
333
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:27,808
I am so glad you talked me
into this.
334
00:13:27,875 --> 00:13:29,142
I feel so free.
335
00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:32,045
Zippers, snaps, back pockets?
336
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:33,313
I'm out of control!
337
00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:35,415
I know! And it's so comfortable.
338
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:38,185
Is this why Snoop Dogg
is always so chill?
339
00:13:38,285 --> 00:13:40,220
Yeah, it's the clothes.
340
00:13:40,287 --> 00:13:43,490
I think I'm ready to
do my first alcohol.
341
00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:44,725
-(gasps)
-Are you sure?
342
00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:46,660
Because that pinot don't play.
343
00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:48,295
Excuse me, Captain Buzzkill.
344
00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:50,397
Get a tracksuit, try to relax.
345
00:13:50,464 --> 00:13:54,635
If it's good enough for Christ,
it's good enough for me.
346
00:13:59,773 --> 00:14:00,941
Whoa.
347
00:14:01,008 --> 00:14:01,975
That is good.
348
00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:03,310
(laughing)
349
00:14:03,377 --> 00:14:06,446
Okay, I'm ready
to do my first cocaine.
350
00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:08,048
Oh, I don't think so.
351
00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:09,383
You had a root beer float
352
00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:11,185
and almost ran through
a plate glass window.
353
00:14:11,285 --> 00:14:12,986
You know, I think
it's very brave
354
00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:15,756
the way you're just
going for all of it.
355
00:14:15,822 --> 00:14:17,658
When I was trying
to change my life,
356
00:14:17,758 --> 00:14:19,893
I kept doubting myself.
357
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,428
I'm really proud of you.
358
00:14:21,495 --> 00:14:25,432
So, I should just keep
going for it?
359
00:14:25,499 --> 00:14:27,534
Absolutely.
360
00:14:30,037 --> 00:14:31,972
Whoa, Gideon, stop.
361
00:14:32,039 --> 00:14:33,507
I have a boyfriend.
362
00:14:33,574 --> 00:14:34,741
You met him.
363
00:14:34,808 --> 00:14:37,678
Max? Tall, handsome, looks
like he could be an Avenger?
364
00:14:37,778 --> 00:14:40,013
His looks are not germane
to this conversation,
365
00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:41,715
but I just can't help myself.
366
00:14:41,782 --> 00:14:44,985
Oh, my gosh,
I am so embarrassed.
367
00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:46,687
No, it's totally okay.
368
00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:48,889
Yeah, everyone's done something
they regret while drinking.
369
00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:51,592
I mean, I interviewed
at a cat café.
370
00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:53,393
-Really?
-Yeah, really?
371
00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:54,561
You were drunk?
372
00:14:54,628 --> 00:14:56,263
You're a great guy.
373
00:14:56,296 --> 00:14:57,531
I'm sure you're gonna
meet the right woman
374
00:14:57,631 --> 00:14:59,199
sooner than you think.
375
00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:03,704
All right, simmer down,
Vanilla Ice.
376
00:15:03,770 --> 00:15:04,638
Oh, no.
377
00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:06,507
I've ruined everything.
378
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:09,009
No, Gideon, it's really not
a big deal.
379
00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:10,010
Yeah, it's okay.
380
00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:11,278
I know what I look like.
381
00:15:11,378 --> 00:15:13,814
Of course you would
try to kiss me.
382
00:15:13,881 --> 00:15:15,482
Second.
383
00:15:16,884 --> 00:15:19,553
I have brought shame
to my family.
384
00:15:19,653 --> 00:15:21,655
I do not deserve this tracksuit.
385
00:15:24,224 --> 00:15:25,192
Oh, no.
386
00:15:25,292 --> 00:15:26,894
Gideon, no, you don't
have to go.
387
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:28,595
It's all right.
388
00:15:28,629 --> 00:15:30,330
I want to be alone.
389
00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:32,299
Thank you for the threesome.
390
00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:34,501
♪ ♪
391
00:15:39,139 --> 00:15:40,574
Hey, have you heard from Gideon?
392
00:15:40,641 --> 00:15:44,077
No, but his page on
Farmers Only is blowing up.
393
00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:45,312
That butter-churning photo
394
00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:48,215
is like crack
to these farmer freaks.
395
00:15:48,282 --> 00:15:49,750
This is all my fault.
396
00:15:49,816 --> 00:15:51,351
I should've protected him.
397
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,587
Instead, I pushed him
to take a bite out of life
398
00:15:53,654 --> 00:15:55,055
and then he choked on it.
399
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:58,192
Holy crap, I'm Eve.
400
00:15:58,992 --> 00:16:01,762
Hi, I have a telegram
for Kat Silver.
401
00:16:01,862 --> 00:16:03,897
A telegram?
Is it from the front?
402
00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:05,866
Did we liberate Paris?
403
00:16:05,933 --> 00:16:09,369
(sighs) It's from Gideon.
404
00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:11,939
"Not worthy
of your friendship, stop.
405
00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:14,808
"Please accept
my resignation, stop.
406
00:16:14,908 --> 00:16:16,510
"I'm going back
to the only place
407
00:16:16,610 --> 00:16:17,911
"I've ever been happy, stop.
408
00:16:17,978 --> 00:16:20,414
"Are you charging me
by the word, stop.
409
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,449
"I don't want this
to count, stop.
410
00:16:22,516 --> 00:16:24,051
Please stop, stop."
411
00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:26,486
Wait, the only place
he's ever been happy?
412
00:16:26,587 --> 00:16:28,422
There's only one place
that makes sense.
413
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:29,923
The revolving door?
414
00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:32,226
Okay, there's two places.
415
00:16:32,326 --> 00:16:34,461
♪ ♪
416
00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:35,696
(knocking)
417
00:16:35,796 --> 00:16:38,098
(jazzy music playing)
418
00:16:40,868 --> 00:16:41,502
Oh, hello.
419
00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:43,170
What are you guys doing here?
420
00:16:43,237 --> 00:16:45,072
We wanted to catch you before
your date with Rodrigo.
421
00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:47,708
Oh, I can see you're getting
ready. Lovely robe, by the way.
422
00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:50,010
I stole mine
from a Best Western.
423
00:16:50,077 --> 00:16:51,178
I'm on the date.
424
00:16:51,245 --> 00:16:52,546
This is outfit number two.
425
00:16:52,613 --> 00:16:54,381
You don't want to be here
for number three.
426
00:16:54,448 --> 00:16:56,283
Look, we know you
really like him,
427
00:16:56,383 --> 00:17:00,120
but Rodrigo is more
of a Rodrig-ho.
428
00:17:01,255 --> 00:17:03,457
Ho?
429
00:17:04,291 --> 00:17:05,125
Hey, boys.
430
00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:07,160
We meet again, Rodrigo.
431
00:17:07,261 --> 00:17:09,496
-Holy crap, I did it!
-Hey, listen up.
432
00:17:09,596 --> 00:17:11,431
This woman is like
a second mother to us.
433
00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:13,767
You need to treat her
with the respect she deserves.
434
00:17:13,834 --> 00:17:15,335
What? Sheila and I
just enjoyed--
435
00:17:15,469 --> 00:17:16,703
Her name is Sheila!
436
00:17:16,770 --> 00:17:19,339
And you just said that.
437
00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:22,242
Rodrigo, can you
just give us a minute?
438
00:17:22,309 --> 00:17:24,211
Yes, of course. As for you two,
439
00:17:24,311 --> 00:17:27,047
it's weird you pee
next to each other.
440
00:17:27,114 --> 00:17:29,349
Right? You need a buffer!
441
00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:32,986
Okay. What do you think
you're doing?
442
00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:34,188
He just wants to sleep with you.
443
00:17:34,288 --> 00:17:36,056
He is not in it
for the long haul.
444
00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:37,991
We're in a retirement home.
445
00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:40,427
None of us are in it
for the long haul.
446
00:17:40,494 --> 00:17:43,297
We buy our toilet paper
one roll at a time.
447
00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:47,167
Look, Rodrigo is so good
in the sack,
448
00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:49,269
he's had six death bed requests.
449
00:17:49,403 --> 00:17:51,271
They call him "The Last Meal."
450
00:17:51,405 --> 00:17:55,976
Wow. I guess Max really
misread the situation.
451
00:17:56,977 --> 00:17:58,545
We just didn't want you
to get hurt.
452
00:17:58,645 --> 00:18:00,013
I know what I'm doing here.
453
00:18:00,113 --> 00:18:03,417
And at the moment, you're
stopping me from doing him.
454
00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:07,187
Okay then, slay on, Sheila.
455
00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:08,689
Yeah, good luck in there.
456
00:18:08,822 --> 00:18:11,992
Which is a really weird thing
to say to my girlfriend's mom.
457
00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:14,561
Max, Carter,
458
00:18:14,628 --> 00:18:17,097
it's really nice that
you're looking out for me.
459
00:18:17,197 --> 00:18:19,733
Well, that's what wingmen do.
460
00:18:23,971 --> 00:18:25,739
Oh, hey, guys.
461
00:18:25,806 --> 00:18:26,807
Hey, Mindy.
462
00:18:26,907 --> 00:18:29,042
Just picked up
some vodka and Ensure
463
00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:31,011
if you feel like a nightcap.
464
00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:32,746
Uh, actually...
465
00:18:32,813 --> 00:18:33,814
Let's party.
466
00:18:33,881 --> 00:18:35,682
All righty.
467
00:18:36,517 --> 00:18:39,219
She is a freak.
468
00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:45,492
♪ ♪
469
00:18:45,559 --> 00:18:46,326
Gideon?
470
00:18:46,393 --> 00:18:48,729
Ich hab... Jimmy Kimmel.
471
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:51,265
GIDEON:
I'm not here.
472
00:18:51,365 --> 00:18:52,533
Oh, shoot.
473
00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:54,201
All right, I'm coming in.
474
00:18:54,268 --> 00:18:55,502
I hope you're decent.
475
00:18:55,569 --> 00:18:59,573
What am I saying?
He wears pants under his pants.
476
00:19:02,209 --> 00:19:04,411
Hey.
477
00:19:04,478 --> 00:19:06,346
How are you doing?
478
00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:07,814
Okay, I guess.
479
00:19:07,915 --> 00:19:09,750
I had lunch in
the free sample aisle.
480
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:13,587
Are you familiar with the
miracle called the Hot Pocket?
481
00:19:13,687 --> 00:19:16,924
On the eighth day, the Lord
made the Hot Pocket,
482
00:19:17,024 --> 00:19:18,926
and yea, it was good.
483
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:22,062
Look, I know you're
upset about last night,
484
00:19:22,196 --> 00:19:23,530
but you really don't have to be.
485
00:19:23,630 --> 00:19:26,033
I am sorry for what I did.
486
00:19:26,133 --> 00:19:30,003
I hereby forswear all
the temptations of this world.
487
00:19:30,070 --> 00:19:33,674
Except for the cheese balls,
I can't give them up.
488
00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:35,075
It's okay.
489
00:19:35,175 --> 00:19:38,145
I'm not mad, Randi's not mad.
490
00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:43,383
I don't fit in here any better
than I did at home.
491
00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:47,754
Do you remember the island
of misfit toys from Rudolph?
492
00:19:48,755 --> 00:19:50,023
No.
493
00:19:50,090 --> 00:19:52,726
Damn it, that would've been
a sweet timesaver.
494
00:19:52,793 --> 00:19:58,165
Well, the point is,
you know, we're all misfits.
495
00:19:58,298 --> 00:20:01,134
We all feel like we don't
fit in sometimes.
496
00:20:01,235 --> 00:20:04,638
Not you, you're so cool.
497
00:20:04,705 --> 00:20:06,073
(laughing):
Oh, Gideon.
498
00:20:06,173 --> 00:20:09,276
See? Two days in the modern
world and you get it.
499
00:20:09,343 --> 00:20:12,079
(sighs)
Look, there are gonna be times
500
00:20:12,179 --> 00:20:14,314
when you feel lost and alone.
501
00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:16,884
But just remember
you have people
502
00:20:16,950 --> 00:20:19,219
who are gonna help you
get through it.
503
00:20:19,286 --> 00:20:20,854
I do?
504
00:20:20,921 --> 00:20:22,155
Yeah.
505
00:20:22,222 --> 00:20:23,724
And I'm one of them.
506
00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:26,326
You're too sweet to me.
507
00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:28,929
No, I mean it.
508
00:20:28,996 --> 00:20:31,698
I want you to stay.
509
00:20:33,367 --> 00:20:34,635
Then I'll stay.
510
00:20:34,735 --> 00:20:37,070
Good.
511
00:20:38,572 --> 00:20:39,907
Oh, still a hard pass.
512
00:20:40,007 --> 00:20:43,076
Ooh, but I'm ahead of Randi
two to one.
513
00:20:44,211 --> 00:20:46,413
♪ ♪
514
00:20:55,255 --> 00:20:58,358
♪ I want the world
to feel the way I do, yeah ♪
515
00:20:58,425 --> 00:21:01,295
♪ Want the world
to feel the way I do ♪
516
00:21:01,395 --> 00:21:04,464
♪ I want the world
to feel the way I do, yeah ♪
517
00:21:04,598 --> 00:21:07,201
♪ Want the world
to feel the way I do ♪
518
00:21:07,301 --> 00:21:09,469
♪ ♪
519
00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:16,276
Captioning sponsored by
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
520
00:21:16,343 --> 00:21:19,046
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
521
00:21:19,096 --> 00:21:23,646
Repair and Synchronization by
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