All language subtitles for Bunkd s06e13 Art Imitates Life.eng

Hey, Bill. Question?

Answer. I make
my boot polish out of lemon juice,

olive oil
and a little bit of vinegar,

It also doubles as
a great salad dressing.

Boot vinaigrette?

Text me that recipe, bro.

I was going to ask you
where you get your haircut,

because the only barber
on Main Street,

also sharpens lawnmower blades,
which feels unsafe.

I cut my own hair.

Out on the open range,

you have to be self-reliant.

I can do yours if you want.

Let me grab
my sheep shears.

On second thought,
I'll take my chance

at the lawn mower barber.

Don't worry,

I've been doing this
for years.

Just cover yourself
with one of those blankets.

Okay? Well, thanks, man.

I appreciate it.

Ooh, smells like Noah's been
using that body spray

I got him. [CHUCKLES]

Supreme Swag
for Nice Dudes.

Ready?

Yeah. So I was thinking just
a little trim on the--

Shh...

Barber Bill's got you.

You're in good hands.

Do you trust me?

With my life.

Let's do this.

[CLIPPERS BUZZING]

What was that?
Did you start the haircut?

That was just my, uh,
vibrating comb.

It's a cowboy thing.

Cool. I wanna see it.

Um, a barber never
reveals his secrets.

You know what?

I don't think now is
the right time for a haircut.

The weather is so nice.

We should go outside
and get some sun.

Okay, we can do this later.

Oh, before we go,
I want to get some sunscreen for my neck.

I wouldn't want
to get a sunburn.

Yep, that's definitely
the only terrible thing

that could possibly happen
to the back of your head.

Let's go.

ALL: ♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

Hey, Hunter.
Want to go on an adventure?

[NEIGHS]

That's what I like
to hear.

Follow up question.

Would you be open
to wearing a parachute?

What am I saying?

Of course you would.
Horses love parachutes.

Winnie, why are you putting
that saddle on Hunter?

Oh, my bad.
I've never ridden a horse before.

Should I put
the parachute on first?

What you should do
is step away from the horse.

Look, if you want to learn
to ride Hunter,

you're going to have to take
horseback riding lessons,

from me first.

Awesome.

And just to be clear,
there is no scenario

where you should ever be
putting a parachute on a horse.

Oh. Yeah, I was
just kidding about that.

[NEIGHS]

Snitch.

What a great painting,
Melanie.

It definitely won't live
in my nightmares forever.

Very interesting, Andy.

I see you decided
to go abstract.

Oh. That's just how you
see the world?

Neat.

Tyler, I'm gonna
be honest with you.

This is bad.

Wow, Jake, this is...

I can't even think
of the word.

I believe
it's called "fruit".

No, I think
the word is "genius".

I'm genuinely impressed,

and I'm not just pretending
it's good,

like I did it with everyone
else's terrible paintings.

[SCOFFS] No offense,
but we all have eyes.

We didn't know you were
such a talented artist.

I used to paint
all the time

until I started
playing video games.

You've got to keep it up.

It's our job as counselors
to encourage our campers

to reach
their full potential,

except for Tyler.

The art world
will eat that kid alive.

What are you doing?

I was just going
to scratch my head.

I got it.

I didn't think we had
this kind of relationship,

but cool.

[LAUGHING]

Are those kids laughing
at me?

Oh. No, they're laughing
at me because...

My belt doesn't
match my boots.

Yeah, I noticed that, too.

Cut him some slack, guys.

He doesn't know
he's an autumn.

Whoa, Parker,
what happened to you?

What do you mean?

Uh... She means...

You look swole,
you've been working out, bro?

Well, I have been doing
some water aerobics.

Actually, I was talking
about the...

Let's go to the lake
so you can teach me

some of your moves.

Sure, I can go for
a low intensity aqua jog.

Do me a favor

and don't mention his hair
for a solid two to three weeks.

Okay, but how long until
I can tell you

your belt doesn't match
your boots?

Don't judge me.
I didn't know I was an autumn.

Why did you want
to meet in here for horseback riding lessons?

Is Hunter my new counselor?

I guess I'll miss Destiny,
but okay.

I won't tell her how quickly
you made that turn.

And we're in here
because we don't need

Hunter for this first class.

I thought I'd actually get to
ride a horse in these lessons.

Oh, you will.
I just need to make sure you're prepared first.

Now, come on, have a seat.

Welcome to
Professor Lou's Horse School,

where we make learning
horseback riding

as easy as one, two, three,
or, as horses like to say it...

[THUDDING]

Ha!

Don't worry.
By the end of this class,

you will get that joke.

Let's start at the top.

The horse's head
is made up of two parts.

The neurocranium
and the viscerocranium.

Come on, this is so boring.

Not all of it.

Just wait until we learn how
to take a horse's temperature.

Hint. If you think
it's through their mouth,

you are at the wrong end.

Whoa. Jake,
what's going on in here?

You guys told me
I should paint more, so I'm painting more.

Great. And now that you're
taking my advice on things,

maybe you could try
flushing the toilet,

every once in a while.

No can do. I'm a busy man.

I wanted to thank you both
for believing in my art.

You helped me remember
how much I love painting.

We're honored
to have played a small, yet super important part

in helping you return
to your passion.

Indeed, my passion
for capturing reality

or the observable world,
if you will.

Now, while I clean my brushes,

please, feel free to ruminate,

on my reflections of society
hasta la pasta.

Okay.

Hey, look, you made it
into one of Jake's paintings.

I'm not surprised.
An artist is nothing

without a handsome,
yet relatable muse.

What is that I'm holding?
Oh, no.

Are you sneaking off

with a giant bag
of marshmallows?

You know what,
it's probably just Jake

taking some artistic license.

That boy and
his active imagination,

such a fun soul.

Jake said he paints
the real things he sees around him.

The observable world,
if you will.

Fine.

If you must know,

I stuff marshmallows
into my pillow case.

What?

Noah!

Those bricks Lou expects us
to sleep on are torture devices.

But don't worry,

I put the marshmallows
back in the bag

and return them
in the morning.

So, we've all been
eating your pillow smores?

Not better, Noah!

Fine. Go ahead.

Call the FDA.

I sleep like a baby,
and I'd do it again.

Lou can't see that.

I'm gonna ask Jake
to paint me out.

Oh, don't.

He just rediscovered
his love of painting.

We shouldn't say anything
that might discourage him.

Fine.

As long as my marsh-pillow
stays between us.

Of course.
Now, give me that.

I've haven't had
a good night's sleep in weeks.

Nine hundred ninety eight,
999, 1000.

Ready or not,
here I come.

Hey, you found me.

You're good.

Bill, what are
you doing here?

You explained the rules

of cowboy hide and seek
very clearly.

You go run and hide,

and I sit and count to 1000
with my head against the wall.

It's weird but clear.

Well, I've just been thinking
you should wear more hats.

Also weird,
but less clear.

Still, I have been wanting
to up my headwear game,

so I won't question it.

Great.

Here's a cowboy hat.

Try wearing it really low
on the back of your head,

like this...

Now the brain
isn't blocking the sun.

That's how you get
the cool cowboy squint.

No one's gonna
take you seriously,

without leathery cheeks.

No, thank you.
I do not have a two hour

nightly skin care regimen
to get premature crow's feet.

Then how about
a gardening hat?

Nice wide brim,

real long neck flap.

Plus, it gives you
those cool grandma vibes.

I don't need a hat
to do that.

I give off mad cool grandma
vibes at water aerobics.

You're looking at the king
of pool noodle pushups.

I have a really good feeling
about this next one.

Well, I appreciate
the gesture, Bill,

but I try not to be
so on the nose Canadian.

Hey, you wanna give me
that haircut now?

Uh, sure, right after
we go on a hike.

Let's grab some helmets.

Helmets for a hike?

[SNICKERS] Safety first.

Aren't you supposed to be
the responsible adult here?

You're right.

I'm a terrible
activities director.

It's okay.

Just don't be so careless
with my safety in the future.

Now let's go.

Okay, so for your
next lesson, we're moving on

to brushing,
so many different bristles,

so little time.

Brushing?

Can't we move on
to riding?

You need to take
this seriously, Winnie.

Horseback riding
could be dangerous

Exactly.
That's why I wanna to it.

You do realize you're talking
to an authority figure, right?

I'm willing to ignore it
if you are.

Okay. We have a lot of ground
to cover, so let's get to it.

With any luck, you'll be
riding Hunter in a few weeks.

Weeks?

Oh. I'm sorry.
I misspoke.

Months.

Now pick up your brush
and go with the grain.

Fine. I'll take
the butt hair.

Tail.

Whatever.

What? Where?

Oh good, they're still alive.
I must have just

dozed off for...
Oh, no.

Morning, sleepyhead.

Now, this is art.

Oh look,
it's me asleep at work.

Yay.

Doesn't feel so great
having Jake capture

you being
a bad counselor does it?

Oh, maybe later
he can paint you passing out axes

before you leave
to get ice cream.

Fine. You were right.
Jake's paintings are becoming a problem.

Do you like how
I captured the sunlight,

reflecting off this
little puddle of drool?

Yes. I feel like
the Mona Lisa.

The world needs
to see this.

Maybe I should ask Lou

to hang my paintings
in the mess hall?

Oh, well, your paintings
are great,

no one can deny that

as much as
they might want to.

But, um...

Yes, Noah, but what?

But I'm
still thinking, Destiny.

But your paintings are way
too good for the mess hall.

Yeah, plus there's
a food fight

in there
every other week,

and mound of brown splatter
does not come off.

This shirt used
to be white.

You're right.

My art does deserve better.

Also, that's
really gross, Noah.

Says the guy
who doesn't flush.

That was close.

We need a plan
to make sure

no one else sees
these paintings of us.

Or we could be
up front with Lou tell her what happened,

apologize and accept
our punishment?

[BOTH LAUGH]

I knew it was ridiculous
as I was saying it.

All right, helmet hikes.

I see you.
Sweatier, but safer.

What are you doing?

I, uh, was just wondering
how you would look in a cape.

Not surprisingly,
I totally pull it off.

All right.
We did water aerobics,

played hide and seek,

hiked for what felt
like an eternity.

It's haircut time.

I don't know.

[LAUGHING]

You're right.
It is haircut time here.

Get in that cabin,
you hairy monster.

Whoa. What's going on
in here?

I don't know,
but the mystery is so riveting.

I don't think
I can cut any hair until we figure it out.

Looks like Jake's been
doing some painting.

Oh. That one kind of
looks like me.

That's even the same shirt
I'm wearing.

Why would Jake paint
a giant bald spot

onto the back of my head?

He's Jake.

Who knows why he does anything.
He doesn't even flush.

Bill! What did you do?

Nothing. Let's go on
another sweaty helmet hike.

Okay, fine.

I'm sorry.

I didn't realize my shears
were on the wrong setting

and I messed up.

And worst of all, there's no
such thing as a vibrating comb.

So this is why everyone
has been laughing at me all day?

That and
you have toilet paper

stuck to your shoe?

What?

Bad looking out, bro.

So, Jake,

Noah and I were talking
and we'd love to buy some of your art.

Aw.

So you can hang them up
for all the world to see?

Yeah-huh.

We had a tough time
deciding on which ones to pick.

But after a lot
of consideration,

we landed on the mess hall

and dodge ball pieces
for no particular reason at all.

Well, you guys
don't have to buy them.

I'll just give them
to you.

You will?

Of course.

Right after my art show.

I can't believe
I'm saying this,

but please tell me
you just said, "Fart show."

No, but I'll hold on
to that gem for another time.

You guys were right.

My paintings are too good just
to hang up in the mess hall

without the spectacle
of a formal event.

Yay.

So glad we inspired
this genius idea.

Do not lose that.

On the back is
a coupon for one free hug.

An art show?

What are we going
to do?

Maybe it's not so bad.

Maybe no one will go.

Jake, I would love
to go.

Or maybe it's bad.

Okay, Hunter.

If Lou isn't going
to let us go for a ride,

then we'll just have
to take things

into her own hands
and hooves.

[HORSE WHINNIES]

Oh, come on.

Well behaved horses
rarely make history.

Let's ride.

[NEIGHS]

Whoa.

Ow. My butt.

Ow, ow, ow.

[NEIGHING]

Save your, "told you so's"

for someone who wants
to hear them.

Bonjour, mes amis.

Oh, parlez-vous Francais?

What?

Nothing.

This looks so great,

but I wonder if there are
just too many paintings.

It's hard to focus
on your brilliance.

Maybe taking
a couple out

would help
any random two, like,

totally off the top
of my head.

These two.

I hate to play
the artistecard,

but as the only one around here
with an eye for composition,

the arrangement of
my paintings, c'est magnifique.

So you do speak French?

Who said anything
about French?

Welcome
to my show, titled

"Jacob Jacob's
Paints Paintings."

We have to stop Lou
from seeing Jake's paintings

of us being bad counselors.

I can't lose
my marshmallows.

It's the only pillow
I've found

that doubles as
a midnight snack.

Hey, hey, Lou.

I didn't see you there.

You don't have to look
at all these paintings.

To be honest,
they're not that good,

so derivative.

What're you talking about?
This one's amazing.

This waste of paint?

Please. This is just some,
some little kid's painting.

How can you say that?
I mean,

look at this masterpiece.

Wait, is that Winnie

sneaking off with
a saddle?

It's like she has no respect
for horse school.

Yes.

Mission accomplished.

You guys think my art
isn't that good

and a waste of paint?

No, Jake,
you don't understand.

Yes, I do.

You guys
don't believe in me.

I knew I shouldn't
have drawn on

this goatee
with permanent marker.

Sacre bleu!

Jake, je suis desole.

I don't know
what that means.

Hope you're happy.

This is my life now.

There are better hats
in there.

Let me wallow
in my own way.

Parker, I'm really sorry.

I should have just
told you the truth.

I'll do whatever it takes
to make it right.

Really?

You know, one guy wearing
an ugly hat is a weirdo.

But two guys
wearing ugly hats

is a fashion statement.

All right.

I accept my fate.

Pick the hat that you think
is a sufficient apology.

Apologize harder.

What happened to you?

What do you mean?
Nothing happened to me.

My butt feels great.

I am so glad to hear that,

because I think
it's finally time

you ride Hunter.

So get that healthy butt
up on there.

Really?
You know what, Lou?

You were right.
I'm not ready.

I'm a loose cannon.
We can't trust me.

Winnie, you've been so patient
with these lessons.

I know you understand
how important

it is to be
totally prepared

before you ever try
to get up on a horse?

So there's nothing left
to teach you.

Let's mount up.

You've earned it.

I guess I can't think
of a reason

why I shouldn't do this.

Ow.

What's that?

Uh, nothing.

I just remembered.

I'm scared of horses.

Ahhh!

Oh, nonsense.

Just wait until
you're out on the trail,

bouncing up and down,
really feeling

every trot step
in your bones.

Bam! Bam!

I don't want
to ride today. Okay?

I snuck in here earlier
and I tried to get onto Hunter,

and I fell and I hurt myself.

And you were right,

and now my butt bone
is so angry.

Tailbone.

Whatever!

This is exactly why I wanted
to finish my lessons first.

You could've been hurt
a lot worse.

Look, I love your energy
and enthusiasm,

but I need you
to be more patient

and look before
you leap.

So you see what
you're leaping into?

Where's the fun in that?

Look, I was once
an impatient kid, too,

and it led to all sorts
of farm related injuries.

One time I fell off
a tractor

and now this elbow
can predict earthquakes.

Cool.

Actually, it is pretty cool.

But still, I don't want you
to make the same mistakes I did.

Thanks, Lou.

I promise when I make
mistakes in the future,

they'll be unique
and wildly unpredictable.

Close enough.

Now it's time
for your next lesson.

Cleaning up after
a horse.

Grab a shovel.

The big one.

Jake...

What's with all
the garbage bags on the lawn?

I'm throwing
all this stuff away.

I don't want
to paint anymore.

Like you said,
I'm a crummy artist.

Pardon my French.

Okay. We're not starting
that again.

We're really sorry
about what you heard,

but we didn't mean
any of it.

Yeah, we only said
those things to Lou,

so we wouldn't
get in trouble.

Your paintings kind
of showed us,

doing things
we weren't supposed to do.

I was just trying to capture
the world around me.

But you don't have
to worry.

It won't happen again.

I quit.

You can't quit.

You're a great artist.

We're just
bad counselors.

"No, Destiny.
You're not a bad counselor.

"You're great."

You guys are just trying
to make me feel better.

If you don't believe us,

then how about
you come out here

and take a look
for yourself?

What's going on?

Everyone loves
your painting so much,

they want to hang them up
in the cabins.

[CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

People really do
like my art?

They love your art,

and we love it, too.

So will you
keep painting?

Definitely.

Maybe just give us a heads up
if you're going to paint us

in the middle
of any fireable offenses?

No promises.

No, Jake,
we need promises.

And flushing.

Okay. I promise.

To both.

Speaking of fireable offenses,

let's talk about my two
favorite paintings.

Sacre bleu!

What is going on here?

Just two dudes wearing hats
and starting trends.

Yup. Nothing to see here
but our whimsical headwear,

that definitely
isn't hiding anything.

Look away.

Those hats were silly.
[SNICKERS]

I want one.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

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