All language subtitles for Bunkd s06e12 Hauntin Around the Christmas Tree.eng

Lou!Jeepers, Bill!

You almost cost me
my good thumb

and I paid a lot of money
for this sucker.

Ignoring that.
I figured out the next clue in our treasure hunt.

Check out the riddle
on the back of the jade compass.

"To find the treasure,

"you must begin
to take a journey deep within."

Well, I hope
they don't mean that old well,

because it belongs
to the spiders now.

No. I bet it means
it's in Tush Caverns.

That's the deepest part
of the ranch.

Not counting
Jake's poetry.

That boy
is surprisingly soulful.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

Kikiwaka Ranch,
Lou Hockhauser speaking.

Unless it's
the Health Department,

[WITH ACCENT]
then this is Helga, ja!

What? Really? Me?

Thank you, I'm so honored.

What accent was that?No idea.

But the treasure hunt's
on hold.

I've just been named
"Young Rancher of the Year" by Rancher Monthly.

Someone from the magazine's
coming to interview me tomorrow.

Wow, Lou, congrats.

You have done
a really good job here.

Dodging the local authorities
at every turn.

Thank you. It feels so nice
for my hard work to be recognized.

Oh! This is the best day
of my life.

I thought you said
every day you spend with us is the best day of your life.

[CHUCKLING]
Oh, Bill.

That's just something you say
right before you raise camp tuition.

ALL: ♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

Hey, Destiny.
I have a very special guest

coming to camp
today, and...

And you need me
to keep Winnie from blowing anything up.

Got it. No promises.

Actually, I need you
to lead campfire while I'm busy.

Heck, you can even
make the s'mores vegetarian.

Great. Wait...

What are they now?

Do you really wanna know?

I do not.

Anyway,
I want the cabins

to come up
with an official song for campfire.

So you can
kick us off.That's a great idea, Lou.

You know, I have
always wanted to write

an educational power ballad

about the dangers
of overfishing.

Yeah, save it
for your TED Talk.

Your song should be about
what it means to be a Mustang.

And if you do
a good job,

this could be a camp tradition
that lasts forever.

So, what are you thinking?

I'm thinking
that this is a huge responsibility

and I won't let you down.

I'm also thinking
about the time I found a whisker in my s'more.

That's ridiculous,
crows don't have whiskers.

You guys aren't
gonna believe...

What am I looking at?

Just two bros
finding their center.

Okey-doke.

Anyways, Megan,
the girl I met in town,

is coming over later
for our first official date.

Nice, dude.

And to think
your mom was worried you'd never find love.

You leave
your mail out.

So what do you got planned
for the big day, champ?

Get this,
we're gonna watch a classic sci-fi movie.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Why are you laughing?Because that's
a terrible idea.

And I just like
to laugh.

Noah, this is
your first date,

you gotta go
as big as possible.

This could be a story
you two tell

your mutually-owned pets
one day.

And watching an old movie

is a story you'll be telling
your reflection in the window

as you stare at the rain,
wondering what went wrong.

Hmm. Those do sound
like the only two possible outcomes.

Don't worry,
I'll plan you the perfect date.

Wow, thanks, Parker.

If this goes well,
we'll name our Labradoodle after you.

That's the dream.

Well, the camp
is all ready

for the Rancher Monthly
reporter to drink it all in.

Except for our water,
of course,

which no one
should ever actually drink.

Do you think
they'll send Big Dan Randall?

His reports on manure
industry corruption

really caused
quite a stink.

[CHUCKLES]

Seriously, though,
lots of people were fired.

Hey, y'all.
And howdy.

I'm Clementine Cartwright
from Rancher Monthly.

Well, howdy
right back at you. I'm Lou.

Owner of this
here ranch.

And this is Bill,
one of the young ranching minds I mold

on a daily basis.

[WHISPERS]
Just go with it.

You know,
I love your magazine.

I don't recognize
your name.

I just started
at Rancher Monthly,

but I've been ranching
ever since I was knee-high to a grasshopper.

You grew up
on a ranch?

You bet your biscuits.

But Pa had to shut it down

after our water
got contaminated with nuclear run-off.

Folks just don't like it
when their steaks glow.

[CHUCKLES]

Well, we are thrilled
to have you here, Clementine.

And I cannot wait
to get started on my article about you, Lou.

Those fields I drove by
are just beautiful.

Fields? Farms have fields.

Ranches have pastures.
It's where we keep the cows.

Got you, I was just
making a joke

that went "pasture" head.

[LAUGHS] Get it?
Come on, now.

Well, let's
get you settled in.

You'll be staying
at Owl cabin, it's a hoot.

It's also the only cabin
with clean sheets and reliable plumbing.

We are still
off the record, right?

Thanks, y'all.

Be back quicker
than you can say,

"Hey, Pop,
why do our chickens have fingers?"

Something seems off
about her.

Did you see her boots?
They're brand-new.

No scuff or stains.

I mean what kind
of self-respecting rancher

doesn't have their boots
covered in cow splatter?

That's your beef with her?
Not enough poop on her shoes?

Also, I can't place
that accent.

And how can she confuse
a pasture with a field?

Oh, cut her some slack,
word police.

I've heard you say
"pasghetti."

Let's see...
What rhymes with "mustang"?

"Mustang..."

Bus fang.

Nope, that's awful.

Why couldn't I be
in Bear cabin?

Bear, care, stare,
it practically writes itself.

[LOUD METAL MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKERS][SIGHS]

Winnie, can you turn
your music down?

[LOUDLY]
What? I can't hear you, the music's too loud.

I'll turn it down.

I'm trying to write
a song about our cabin to sing at campfire.

[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Sweet, my mom just sent me my guitar.

I can help.
Let's see what you got.

Whoa, "bus fang"! Nice.

Let's work on this together,
I'll grab my axe.

I mean my guitar,
not a real axe.

Although...Nope.

I mean, as much help
as you would clearly be,

I'm the first counselor
of Mustang cabin,

so it should really be
my responsibility to write our song.

Okay, cool.

Then I'm going to town
on my teeth.

I just ate a s'more
and it was pretty gristly.

Okay, everything's ready
for your date.

I kinda blew
the sports budget on this.

So from now on,
the kids are gonna have to play tether-brick.

You don't think
the suit's too much?

No way.

You'll thank me for all this
when I'm the best man at your wedding.

You know
I have a brother, right?

Don't worry,

I'll let him down easy,
that's what a best man does.

Here comes Megan.

Why, hello, Megan,
you look lovely today.

Thank you, Noah.

I didn't know
this was gonna be so formal.

But you look nice too.

And a little sweaty.

[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
Yeah.

A wool suit
in the dead of summer

was an interesting choice!

Shall we?

[DISCORDANT
CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC STOPS]Oh, my.

This isn't what
I was expecting from a date at a camp

that you said
couldn't afford real life jackets.

Well, just like
our safety equipment,

I'm full of surprises.

[IN FRENCH ACCENT]
Welcome![BOTH EXCLAIM]

My name is Jacob,
your maitre d'

here at Chez Kikiwaka.

Is there a particular table
you wish to sit at?

The only one
with plates?

Excellent choice, sir.

You really went all...

[SCREAMS]

Megan, I'm so sorry!

Slippery rose petals
on a freshly-waxed floor?

Another interesting choice!

It's okay.
I know you're just trying to be sweet.

[IN NORMAL ACCENT]
Hey, look,

she's already
"falling" for you.

That was inappropriate,
I'll leave now.

This afternoon,
I present to you,

deconstructed
mound of brown.

Surprisingly,
when it's separated into its parts,

it's neither mound
nor brown.

[BOTH COUGHING]

What is that smell?

Oh, that is a chili vapor,

it's supposed
to awaken the palate.

It's awakening
my tear ducts.

Are you sure
you're not crying

because it's such
a beautiful occasion?

No, my eyes
are on fire.

With romance, right?

I need to wash my face.

[SCREAMS]

Megan, are you okay?

What happened?
I can't see anything.

[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]

Read the room, guys!

Noah, buddy,
I'm really sorry about earlier.

Me too.

Luckily, Megan agreed
to come back tomorrow

and give me a second chance.

Dude, nice!

How'd you pull that off?

Well, I just turned on
my signature charm.

Then quickly turned it off
and went straight to Megan.

Shrewd.

Now I'm just trying to come up
with something great for tomorrow's date

to make it up to her.[SCOFFS] Noah.

Great is not enough.

I think...Nope.

You have
lost the right to think.

Gentlemen, gentlemen,
if I may,

what are girls
if not people?

And what do people like?
People like fun.

Hard to argue
with that.That's solid logic.

Now that we're
in agreement,

I have got
the perfect idea for your date.

No video games.

Then I will need
a little more time.

I can see
why you've been named

Young Rancher
of the Year, Lou.

You've sure done
a fine job with this place.

Oh, stop it.
[CHUCKLES]

I'm kidding,
please keep complimenting me.

Oh, this is Destiny,

she's actually writing a song
for campfire right now

that will really
capture the spirit

of what this ranch
is all about.

Or at least it better.

Yes, the song.

It is so great.

In fact, I don't
even have words

to describe
how great it is.

So if you think of any,
send 'em my way,

and make sure they rhyme.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

Yeah, you don't gotta
include her in your article.

Oh, Clementine,
we're all ranchers here.

Some more so than others.

Why don't you tell me
about your first horse?

Well, aren't you
a curious fella?

Uh, well, he's brown.

And one time
he bucked me off and ran away

when I pulled his hair.

That's also why
my little sister ran away.

That and the siren song
of the circus.

What a lovely story.

Except horses aren't brown
they're bay or chestnut,

and it's not hair,
it's a mane,

and they don't
have feeling in it,

so he wouldn't
have bucked you off.

But other than that,
it all tracks, bro.

You know, Lou,
if this is a bad time for the interview,

I can just skedaddle.No, this is
the perfect time.

Bill, a word.

[HISSING]
What are you doing?

I just don't trust her.

[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Why in the world

would someone
pretend to be a reporter

for a really cool,
but really niche magazine, and feature me,

aside from my hair

which has been
absolutely killing it lately?

I don't know,
people are complicated.

If she was a horse,
I'd have her figured out by now.

Lou, any chance
you can give me

a tour of the rest
of the property tomorrow?

If this article about you
is compelling enough, you might make the cover.

[GASPS]
That would be amazing.

The only Hockhauser
to ever be on the cover of a magazine,

was my cousin Hobart.

He was in
Thresher Accident Weekly.

Or at least part of him was.

[EXCLAIMS IN FRUSTRATION]

Uh, what's
going on, D?

I'm having a really hard time
writing this song.

I've been
working on it forever,

and nothing feels right.

Maybe that's because
you're using a pen and paper.

Boomer.

Not helpful.

[SIGHS] Well,
if you want me to be helpful,

why don't you
let me help you?

Come on. I'm almost
as good at music

as I am at throwing stuff
off of water towers.

Allegedly.

Nobody can help me.

I'm the first counselor
in the history of this cabin,

and I can't even say
what it means to be a Mustang.

I'm never gonna
be able to write this song.

I will never understand
her generation.

DESTINY:
I'm three years older than you.

Okay, granny.

Noah, I present to you
the perfect first date.

A recreation
of my eighth birthday party.

Jake, I don't think
Megan's gonna like this.

Of course she will.

You thought Parker's idea
was too romantic,

so this one
isn't romantic at all.

Maybe we need
a little romance.

Can we find something
between candlelit lunch and donkey butts?

Hey, Noah.
What's going on here?

♪ Happy second
first date to you

♪ Happy second
first date to you

♪ I hope you forgot
about the first first date

♪ Oh, no
I just reminded you ♪

This is our date?

It sure seems that way,
doesn't it?

Well, what do you think?

I think

it looks fun.

[CLEARS THROAT]

How about we start
with a pinata?

Are you ready
to get some sweets from your sweetie?

Let's forget I said that.

I gotta admit,
it's actually going pretty great.

What did you fill
that pinata with, anyway?

Only the good stuff.

Nothing but chocolate.

It's a pretty hot day.

Aren't you worried
that the chocolate will melt?

Come on, Noah,
make it rain.

Not until
right this second.

[STRAINING]
Well, I did say make it rain.

Did I get it?

Oh, no, uh...
Megan, I'm so sorry, here, let me clean you off.

Come on, man.

You know what, Noah?

Maybe this was a bad idea.

I'll see you around.

Wait, you forgot
your goodie bag.

Oh, well, more
dinosaur stickers for us.

And the next highlight
on our hike is Dead Skunk Gulch.

We're downwind, though,
so this is about as close as we should get.

We had dead skunks
on Pa's ranch, too.

But sometimes
they'd come back.

Interesting. Anyway...

Go ahead and ask me
another question

about the amazing job
I'm doing here.

[SIGHS] I'm sorry, Lou,

but right now, I don't reckon
how this story is good enough to make the cover.

Hmm. [CLICKS TONGUE]

Not really a question,
but more of a pointed, soul-crushing statement.

This is the cover
of Rancher Monthly.

I mean, you're going up
against the tractor pull playoffs.

Oh, you're right,
the July issue is always so competitive.

We just need
to unearth

something
really interesting.

Any, uh, hidden gems
that could make this story shine?

Something really valuable
to our readers?

[GASPS] We think
there's buried treasure on the ranch.

Buried treasure?
[LAUGHS]

Now I'm smelling
a double issue.

Oh, nope,
I just stepped in something.

And this is our next clue
to find it.

"To find the treasure,
you must begin

"to take a journey
deep within"?

Well, what do you think
it means?

Well, Bill thinks
it's in Tush Caverns,

which is the deepest cave
on the property and just over that hill.

Well, sizzle my grits.

A ranch owner
sitting on a pile of treasure?

You are definitely
cover material now.

[GASPS] Hot dang,
mama's gonna be a star.

Say, the lighting right now
sure is perfect. Uh...

Pose against that tree
so we can get your cover shot.

I can't believe it,
I'm gonna be a cover girl.

Take that, Cousin Hobart!

May he rest in pieces.

Ooh! Yes!

Work it, cowgirl!

Now just keep looking off
while I adjust your arms a smidge.

[SIGHS]

[METAL CLACKING]Wow, you really want me
up on that tree. [CHUCKLES]

Hey, wait,
what are you doing? [GASPS]

Did you just
staple me to the tree?

Thanks for pointing me

straight to the
hidden treasure.

And for wearing loose sleeves.
Made this so much easier.

I can't believe it,
Bill was right about you.

Yep, I'm not a rancher.

I'm an evil librarian
from Jackson Hole.

I've read all about
the treasure of Dusty Tush,

and now it'll all be mine.

So tell me,
where in Tush Caverns is this treasure?

We don't know.

Seriously?

I've listened to you
blabber on for two days

and that's all
you're giving me?

[SIGHS] I guess I'll just
have to figure it out for myself once I'm there.

[SARCASTICALLY]
Toodle-oo, cowgirl.

[COYOTES HOWLING]

Well, at least
maybe I'll make the cover

of Coyote Victims Quarterly.

Hi, Lou.

[LAZILY] Hey.

Fancy meeting you here.

Anything you wanna tell me?
Anything at all?

Okay, fine,
Clementine's a fraud,

she's really
an evil librarian

and she's just after
the buried treasure.

See? This is why
I prefer the company of horses.

Any more factoids
about yourself you wanna tell me

before you get me
out of these staples?

On it.

Thank you.
And I'm really sorry

for not listening to you
about Clementine.

It's just that
I've worked so hard

at getting this place
up and running

that I wanted to believe

that I deserve
to be Young Rancher of the Year.

Lou, you do deserve
to be Young Rancher of the Year.

You really think so?Absolutely.

You created a camp
that will inspire

the next generations
of ranchers.

That's pretty incredible.

Thank you.
That means a lot coming from you.

Not as much as it did
coming from the magazine, but still a lot.

Come on,
this ranch is so great,

we all stick around.

Even though
there are crows in our s'mores.

[WHISPERING]
You know about that?

I bit into a beak, Lou.

[IN NORMAL VOICE]
I like the crunch.

Now come on,
we have to stop Clementine

before she finds
the next clue in Tush Caverns.

Wait, how did she
find out about that?

Not important.

Just tell me
you didn't give her the jade compass.

[SCOFFS] Nope.

It is still safe with me.

[GLASS SHATTERS]

Oopsie.

Wait. Looks like
there was a key inside of it.

Wait a minute,
the riddle.

"Take a journey
deep within."

That's supposed to be
our next clue,

it wasn't
within Tush Caverns,

it was
within the compass.

Wait, so is there anything
inside Tush Caverns?

[COYOTES HOWLING][CLEMENTINE SCREAMING]

Just one
very frightened evil librarian.

Listen, Noah,
we're really sorry

for ruining
your first date with Megan.

Well, it's not like
I had any better date ideas.

You sure about that?

What's all this?

It's your original
date idea.

Just you and Megan
watching an old sci-fi movie.

This is all amazing, guys.

But after everything
that happened today,

Megan's never gonna come back.

Megan! You came back!

Yes. Just in case,

I wore shoes
with good traction

and I have a poncho
in my purse.

Wise move.

She's a keeper, dude.

We explained to Megan
how the other dates were all our fault.

And she agreed to come back
for a third first date.

As long as Jake
and I wouldn't be within 50 yards of it.

Oh, my gosh, guys,
this is amazing, thank you.

Now, you know,
a promise is a promise, so...

Bye-bye.

After you.

[REMOTE BEEPS][ORCHESTRAL MUSIC
PLAYING ON SPEAKERS]

[GASPS] Star Battles?

Noah, this is
my favorite movie.

Really? It's my
favorite movie too.

Megan, would you
like to get a Labradoodle with me?

[CHUCKLING]
That's really cute.

But how about we make sure
I survive our date first?

Good call.

Lou, I figured out
what the key we found in the compass is to.

Really?Yes!

It's to a lock.

Wow. It is
so hard to believe

this treasure's eluded you
for so long.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]Oh.

[WITH ACCENT]
Go for Helga, ja!

Ooh, really?

That's amazing.
Thank you.

Bye.

That was Big Dan Randall
from Rancher Monthly.

He said he received
an anonymous tip

about how great
of a candidate I would be

for Young Rancher of the Year.

You wouldn't happen
to know anything about that, would you?

Nope. Cowboys never snitch.

Hey, Destiny,
are you ready to perform your cabin song?

Um, yeah, about that.

The truth is,
Lou, I've been working on it forever,

but I don't have
a cabin song.

She's right.
She doesn't have a cabin song.

She has "the" cabin song.

We wrote it together.

We do? We did?

You had
a lot of amazing ideas.

A lot of garbage too.
But some gold.

You finished
the song for me

even though I shut you out
and said you couldn't help?

Yep.

That's what Mustang cabin
is all about.

Being there for each other
and working together.

Wait, why am I explaining?
It's all in the song.

♪ When the words won't come

♪ When the world is dumb

♪ There's only one place to be

♪ My cabin at camp

♪ A little cold and damp

♪ Where my best friend
waits for me

[MUSIC CRESCENDOES]One, two, three, four!

♪ Mustangs, Mustangs
The cabin that's hot to trot

♪ 'Cause what I need
you have, indeed

♪ And what you need
I've got

♪ MustangsALL:
♪ Mustangs!

♪ When you're down
I've got you, girl

♪ A Mustang's here
So have no fear

♪ We're the best cabin
in the world

♪ MustangsALL:
♪ Mustangs!

♪ When you're down
I've got you, girl

♪ A Mustang's here
So have no fear

♪ We're the best cabin
in the world

♪ The best cabin
in the world ♪

Mustangs![ALL CHEERING]

Amazing job,
you two.

This is the start
of a beautiful camp tradition.

The coyotes,
they're following me.

And they taught themselves
how to use my staple gun!

[YELPS]

[COYOTES HOWLING]

Okay, change of plans.

Campfire in the mess hall!

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

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