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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:06,680
Class K, do yourselves proud.
We cannot afford any mistakes.
2
00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:09,080
Break a nail.
3
00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:11,200
MUSIC: Pressure
by Ari Lennox
4
00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:21,360
Er, Blessing! There's a time
and place for learning.
5
00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:22,760
This is not it.
6
00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:25,480
Sir, Hoburn keeps vexing us
about these mock exams.
7
00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:26,920
Ugh. Mocks, schmocks.
8
00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:29,560
Do you think I got to
where I am today by passing exams?
9
00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:30,920
No, I don't.
10
00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:33,960
That's why I cannot lie,
I have been revising all weekend.
11
00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:37,280
Me too, innit? I haven't
been on socials for 48 hours.
12
00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:39,640
My followers filed
a missing person's!
13
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:42,840
Hoburn is just showing off
to her little friends at Ofsted.
14
00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:44,680
No, but I don't want to fail!
15
00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:47,240
I want to live my best
Forbes 30 Under 30 life
16
00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:48,920
and leave you wastemen biting dust!
17
00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:50,160
Children!
18
00:00:50,160 --> 00:00:56,480
In my class, you learn how to effect
real change in the world, hmm?
19
00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:59,160
Now continue stoning my bra.
20
00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:02,760
Sir, why were you blacklisted from
every single gay bar in the country?
21
00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:04,800
Huh? Don't overexaggerate.
22
00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:07,000
Sir, you can be a bit of a diva.
23
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,200
And?
24
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:09,760
Have I taught you lot anything?
25
00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:11,760
Usma, what is the definition
of a diva?
26
00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:13,400
A diva is a female version...
27
00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:14,600
ALL: ..of a hustla!
28
00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:16,360
Of a, of a...
Wait...
29
00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:17,520
Correct.
30
00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:20,800
And, Harrison, what am I doing
at drag brunch today?
31
00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:21,840
Hustlin'.
32
00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:22,960
Correct.
33
00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:26,640
As much as I love you guys,
this is a big opportunity for me.
34
00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:28,560
There's going to be some producers
there today
35
00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:32,200
scouting for a new show -
Britain's Got Fierce Bitches.
36
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:36,240
Ooh! And this is my last chance
to audition.
37
00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:38,560
Stephanie Fierce is ready to be
booked and blessed.
38
00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:42,360
MUSIC: When I Grow Up
by The Pussycat Dolls
39
00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:49,680
Aah!
40
00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:51,080
In! Come on, in!
41
00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,760
And what on earth is going on here?
42
00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:03,440
Are you going somewhere?
43
00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:05,440
No. Why?
44
00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:07,560
Perhaps this might jog your memory.
45
00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:12,320
"It might interest you to know
46
00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:16,000
"Stephen is taking his class
on a field trip."
47
00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:19,840
Ah...!
48
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,320
ALL LAUGH
Oh!
49
00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:23,880
It's the trip - it's the trip.
50
00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:25,840
Um... Care to explain yourself?
51
00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:26,920
Mm...
52
00:02:26,920 --> 00:02:30,160
Can I just say this animal print
is so not a bit of you,
53
00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:31,360
but it's wildly working.
54
00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:33,800
It's like you've ditched
your Aunt Lydia look
55
00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:37,000
and you're giving a bit more...
Carole Baskin. Rarr!
56
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:40,240
There is a rigid protocol when it
comes to planning educational trips.
57
00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:42,880
Did you ask for permission?
58
00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:44,440
Um...
59
00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:46,440
Did I?
60
00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:47,640
Yeah.
61
00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:49,480
Yeah, I wrote this note.
62
00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:51,120
It's how I write all of my letters.
63
00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:53,640
It's very, very, very time consuming
but it's so worth it.
64
00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:56,440
It's giving, like, Vivienne Westwood,
you know, like youth danger.
65
00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:58,360
So you talk about yourself
in the third person?
66
00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:00,400
You know what
Stephen Carmichael is like. His...
67
00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:01,960
His ego is out of control.
68
00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:04,600
The note was my way of asking you
for permission...
69
00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:05,760
Mm-hm.
70
00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:11,560
..to let us explore the wonderfully
enriching cultural hub that is Soho.
71
00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:12,720
Soho!
72
00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:15,800
Oh, I was on the board of directors
for a theatre in Soho.
73
00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:16,880
Cute.
74
00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:22,040
Oversaw its demolition
brick by brick to make way for...
75
00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:24,560
..M&M World.
76
00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:25,960
Cute.
77
00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:28,080
So, um...
78
00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:29,120
..good to go?
79
00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:30,440
No.
80
00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:32,640
And I cannot believe you would pull
a stunt like this
81
00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:34,680
on the day we're receiving
a visit from Ofsted.
82
00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:37,040
The inspector will be here
any minute.
83
00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:39,840
Back to your classroom! Immediately!
84
00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:47,040
Sir, I can call the drag brunch?
85
00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:49,240
It's too late.
I've missed the audition.
86
00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:52,080
So when I find out who's dobbed me in
with this note...
87
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,400
..it's over.
88
00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:32,160
KOREAN NURSERY RHYME PLAYS
89
00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:35,560
ELECTRONIC WHIRRING
90
00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:40,000
SHE SCREAMS
91
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:47,800
Mitchell!
92
00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,280
Ha, you're dead!
HE LAUGHS
93
00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:53,120
You all right?
94
00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:55,200
They're playing
for a £1 scratchcard.
95
00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:56,760
I call it Quid Games.
96
00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:59,360
The winner goes through to
a tug of war over the septic tank.
97
00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:01,360
Oh. Want a go? Oh, yeah, sure.
98
00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:02,440
Yeah?
99
00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:04,120
No, you idiot, of course not.
100
00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:05,640
I need a word.
101
00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:07,840
Kids, guess what time it is!
102
00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:09,440
ALL: Sleepy-byes time.
103
00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:11,760
Yes! And what's our number one rule?
104
00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:14,160
Don't wake up before the bell.
105
00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:15,520
Yes. Off you go!
106
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,040
Ah-ha! My proteges!
107
00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:21,560
What's the tea?
No tea, thank you, Mrs Potts.
108
00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:25,200
Well, I just wanted to flag that
we've had a small outbreak of...
109
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,160
Oh, my God! They're all...
110
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,640
Sleeping, Fraser, so, like... Shh.
111
00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:31,960
Thank the Lord Sugar.
112
00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:34,560
We've had a breakout
of the good old norovirus.
113
00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:37,240
Noro-what? It's like a retro Covid
114
00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:39,840
that wants to leave the building
via any exit -
115
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,000
or entrance, depending
on which way you look at it.
116
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,560
Eww.
Both my kitchen staff are off sick.
117
00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:47,360
I don't know what to do. I can't
feed the whole school on my tod.
118
00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:48,720
I'm not Jesus of Ladzareth.
119
00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:50,400
Just hire a task rabbit.
120
00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:52,960
I do it all the time when I can't
be arsed to mark papers. Mm.
121
00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:54,640
I hired one for
parents' evening once.
122
00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:56,480
Task rabbit. Leg-ends.
123
00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:58,160
Laters, potaters. See ya.
124
00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:01,120
Still got your lockpicking kit?
125
00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:02,640
Does Katie Price sleep on her back?
126
00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:03,680
Mm!
127
00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:07,320
Right... Ooh, child.
128
00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:09,680
What? Do you know,
Joop is not a deodorant by the way.
129
00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:11,160
Hmm? What?
130
00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:12,480
What's wrong with Joop?
131
00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:16,160
Look, this don't feel right.
132
00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:18,880
You can't just go
breaking into their lockers.
133
00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:21,040
Can I help you Mr Seaman?
134
00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:22,400
I thought not.
135
00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:23,480
Bye!
136
00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:28,280
What have they actually done then?
137
00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:30,200
STEPHEN GASPS
138
00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:31,480
Ah-ha!
139
00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:32,800
Ah, a notebook!
140
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:34,400
Ah, not just a notebook!
141
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:37,960
An A4 lined notebook,
just like the one used to rat me out.
142
00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:41,240
Yeah.
We've all got notebooks, you muppet.
143
00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:42,880
What do you mean, rat you out?
144
00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:43,960
STEPHEN GROWLS
145
00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:46,400
Come on.
146
00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:47,960
Ugh!
147
00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:50,360
Basically, I should be
in Soho right now
148
00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:52,440
performing in front of drag royalty,
149
00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:55,000
but one of my class sent
an anonymous tip-off to Hoburn
150
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,520
so now we have to interrogate
the little cretins
151
00:06:57,520 --> 00:06:58,760
until one of them cracks.
152
00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:00,480
I don't think they'd grass
on you, mate.
153
00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:03,200
Them kids are well all right.
Mitchell, please.
154
00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:04,680
You're like a brother to me.
155
00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:07,120
Well, actually, you're more like
a weird cousin
156
00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:10,720
that you try to avoid at weddings,
but that means something.
157
00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:12,440
I really need your help with this.
158
00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:15,160
All right, fine.
159
00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:16,880
Let's not go OTT, yeah?
160
00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:18,120
No.
161
00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:20,920
Ah!
162
00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:23,240
We'll break them psychologically.
Let's assign roles.
163
00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:25,680
Roles? Yeah. Well, I'll be good cop.
All right, so I'll be...
164
00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:28,600
Ah-ah, no. That's too obvious.
You be good cop, I'll be ratchet cop.
165
00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:30,440
You sure you got
the range for that, darling?
166
00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:33,640
I spent the first ten years
of my life playing it straight.
167
00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:34,880
Just you wait.
168
00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,280
Dunk!
169
00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:42,120
PHONE BUZZES
Denied!
170
00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:44,280
Booyakasha! He's here!
171
00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:48,760
If only Tinder worked this quick,
and I wasn't permanently banned.
172
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:50,720
This lad knows
what I'm talking about.
173
00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:59,360
Oh, I'm so sorry.
174
00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:01,160
Nobody told me you were here.
175
00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:03,400
Oh, I should've guessed
you'd be an early bird.
176
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,760
If you're on time,
you're late, I always say.
177
00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:09,800
Bernadette Hoburn,
the new headmistress.
178
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,080
Shall we take the tour?
179
00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:13,400
I imagine you'll want to inspect
the improvements
180
00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:14,760
that I've already made here.
181
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,800
Well, I'm just here
to clean up the school.
182
00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:19,080
Great minds!
183
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:20,720
Shall we start in my office?
184
00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:33,320
MIMICS FANFARE
185
00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:36,040
My knight in shining tank-top!
186
00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:39,480
MIMICS HORSE
187
00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:48,120
Greetings, Sir Galalad, Bantany
Worrall-Thompson at your service.
188
00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:51,360
Hello, Mr Fraser.
We've had a smidge of norovirus.
189
00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:53,160
The latest victims, Pavel and Edna,
190
00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:56,000
are currently tag-teaming
the throne in the staffroom.
191
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,920
Pavel's mouth, Edna's south.
192
00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:00,840
Ugly scenes.
Hence my little rabbit.
193
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:04,320
Ah, taking notes already,
smashing it, leg-end!
194
00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:07,240
Would you like to see
my chamber of horrors?
195
00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:09,840
Yes.
196
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,840
Lead the way.
197
00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:15,240
Oh, I should check,
have you got life insurance?
198
00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:18,720
Now this next experiment
is very dangerous,
199
00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:21,560
so I want you all to be
very sensible and...
200
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:24,320
Excuse me, Mr Carmichael,
you can't come in...
201
00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:26,600
Ah-ah-ah!
Oh, I think you'll find I can.
202
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,960
Unless you want me to spill the tea
on what really went down
203
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:32,200
at the Christmas party with Mr...
Oh, my goodness, is that the time?
204
00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,240
I must dash to my next class.
205
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:35,480
Bye, now.
206
00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:37,080
Bye, Miss Mollinson!
207
00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:40,240
Someone in this class
has stabbed me in the back,
208
00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:43,000
thereby destroying my chance
at stardom.
209
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,360
But the question is who,
what, where, when and why?
210
00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:47,320
Sir, I can assure you
that none of us would...
211
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:50,920
Silence, you maggot!
You'll have your turn.
212
00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:53,600
You'll all have your turn.
213
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,320
Nah, man. I ain't saying nuttin'
till I get my lawyer.
214
00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:00,640
Pigs!
215
00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:02,880
Watch your mouth, little boy!
216
00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:04,280
All right, keep your hair on.
217
00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:07,040
Well, he could've said
a more flattering animal.
218
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:10,800
Doing good cop, bad cop, yeah?
Interesting.
219
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:12,400
Who's who, then?
220
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:14,040
Don't play games with us, Missy.
221
00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:15,280
Obvi I'm bad cop.
222
00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:17,880
Really?
Cos I wasn't getting that vibe.
223
00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:19,320
It's giving Chuckle Brothers.
224
00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:22,640
Really? To who? To me.
To you? To me, haha!
225
00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:25,080
Shut up. Fine. Let's swap roles.
226
00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:27,800
We know you've got a secret...
OK, I confess.
227
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:29,200
I still eat avocados.
228
00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:30,640
And there's more - when I was eight,
229
00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:32,440
I got my hair braided
on a beach in Majorca,
230
00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:34,280
and I know it's wrong
but it looked so good.
231
00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:36,080
Oh, God...
232
00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:37,760
Please don't think me a monster.
233
00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:40,000
Warren, my darling,
just tell us the truth
234
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:43,840
and, whatever happens,
we're here for you.
235
00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:45,680
Bravo, Mr Carmichael.
236
00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:48,840
Such a nuanced portrayal
of a manipulative false friend.
237
00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:50,880
I really felt betrayed.
238
00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:52,680
Oi. What about me?
239
00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:53,880
Um...
240
00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:57,240
Your gormless sidekick routine
felt a bit one-note.
241
00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:58,280
Purr.
242
00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:00,480
Look, I'm sorry you didn't
get your moment, yeah, sir,
243
00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:02,720
but don't try Tyra Banks me.
I'm not the one.
244
00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:05,400
You think I got time to worry
about anybody else but numbero uno?
245
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:08,400
It took all my mental capacity to
get my wings straight this morning.
246
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,440
Like, I can't be expected
to hold down good grades
247
00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:12,280
and be a badarse bitch
every single day.
248
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:14,080
It's too much! I give up.
249
00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:15,120
Wait, um...
250
00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:17,080
..what was the question again?
251
00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:24,040
Careful scrubbing so hard.
252
00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:27,040
You're quite close
to some lead paint there.
253
00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:29,560
How exactly did your staff
get sick, Mr Fraser?
254
00:11:29,560 --> 00:11:31,840
No idea. I call them the Wuhan gang
255
00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:34,720
because they're always cooking up
diseases I've never heard of.
256
00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:35,920
What's that you're making?
257
00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:37,520
Ah, we're very frugal here.
258
00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:39,520
Lumpy milk -
sieve out of the liquid,
259
00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:42,000
dip it in some sealing wax
from art class and, bam -
260
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,280
artisanal Babybels.
261
00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:45,280
Oh... You think that's gross?
262
00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:47,760
You should see how
I make the Dairylea triangles.
263
00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:52,160
Oh...what a flop!
264
00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:53,760
Can't you just drop it?
265
00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:54,960
If they did tell on ya,
266
00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:57,440
I'm sure it was just because
they wanted to get some work done.
267
00:11:57,440 --> 00:12:00,320
Oh, please. The only way
Mr Wickers to get us to concentrate
268
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:03,320
was playing Class Wars. Mm.
269
00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:04,360
Wait...
270
00:12:05,680 --> 00:12:08,840
We won't crack this using history.
271
00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:13,000
We need to take inspiration from
one of the most cunning detectives
272
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,840
in the herstory of crime.
273
00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:17,280
Miss Marple.
274
00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:18,520
Coleen Rooney.
275
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:22,520
Let's plant a different rumour
with each student.
276
00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:26,280
Whoever spills the Bacardi
is our Rebekah Vardy.
277
00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:27,320
THEY CHUCKLE
278
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:30,080
Really? Honestly.
279
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:33,000
Are you joking? Really. 100%? 100.
Shut up.
280
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,200
So, hang on a minute,
281
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,320
Mr Seaman is having an affair
with Brokeback Barry?
282
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:37,440
Ain't he got a wife?
283
00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:40,280
Oh! Um, excuse me, lady.
284
00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:41,680
No-one loves an eavesdrop.
285
00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:43,480
If you heard things
that are confidential
286
00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:47,120
about certain members of staff, you
are obliged to keep it to yourself.
287
00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:48,920
Oh, sir, I pinkie promise.
288
00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:50,240
My lips are...
289
00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:53,880
Oh, my God!
290
00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:55,920
Talk later.
291
00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:58,080
Oi! Someone broke into my locker!
292
00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:01,080
Yeah - we've just seen Miss Hoburn
picking the lock. What?
293
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:04,600
Nah, I just saw her running to the
science labs with that inspector.
294
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:06,600
Yeah, but have you ever wondered
295
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:09,920
how she can be in
so many different places at once?
296
00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:11,160
Doubles.
297
00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:13,640
You know, like the little
Rocket Man geezer from North Korea.
298
00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:14,920
Parent Trap vibes.
299
00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:16,640
Mum's the word, though, yeah?
300
00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:18,480
The sheeple can't handle the truth.
301
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:32,240
Oh! Inchez!
302
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:35,920
Let Poor Mitchell have a bounce
about, will you? He needs some joy.
303
00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:37,120
Yeah, safe. What's up, sir?
304
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,080
The producers of Naked Attraction
just called.
305
00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:40,440
They're about to cut me episode.
306
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:43,040
Let's just say he got a little bit
excited, if you catch my drift.
307
00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:45,280
Ohhh! Shh!
308
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:46,760
Keep it to yourself, yeah?
309
00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:47,880
Oh, yeah, swear.
310
00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:50,760
I swear I'm not going to
tell a soul, sir.
311
00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:53,320
They did say it was one of the
biggest they'd ever seen, though.
312
00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:55,360
Ah, come on, sir. Haha!
313
00:13:57,480 --> 00:13:58,760
GLASS SHATTERS
314
00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:00,480
That was Mr Seaman's car.
315
00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:01,680
Oh, well.
316
00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:03,280
So moral of the story -
317
00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:06,920
do not, under any circumstances,
eat the Dairylea triangles.
318
00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:11,240
Warren, my darling,
319
00:14:11,240 --> 00:14:14,560
I need you to update my IMDb profile
for me, please.
320
00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:18,080
Can you add, "Soon to be playing
Flying Monkey Number Three
321
00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:19,560
"in the new Wicked movie?"
322
00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:21,280
Wow, wow! Congrats.
323
00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:22,840
Shh! Top secret.
324
00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:24,120
I signed an NDA.
325
00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:26,680
But, sir, anyone
can see your IMDb... Mm!
326
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:27,920
Run along, now.
327
00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:30,200
Child...
328
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,520
Oh, Jinx...
329
00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:41,360
Yah!
HE COUGHS
330
00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:42,480
I have pepper spray!
331
00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:43,720
No, just relax, all right?
332
00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:46,440
I'm not trying to catch you
or any other girl students.
333
00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:49,040
Oh, my God, though, good shot,
to be fair, it was quality.
334
00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:50,560
Koukanka.
335
00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:53,480
Look, Jinx, I really need your help.
336
00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:56,280
I bought some eggs off this geezer
down the covered market.
337
00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:59,000
Turns out they ain't chickens.
One of them's hatched
338
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,760
and I've followed the trail
from the egg to this bathroom.
339
00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:03,120
What, you mean there are...?
340
00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:05,520
Ah-ah! Keep it to yourself!
Don't tell everyone.
341
00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:09,280
It's between me and you. Don't want
to scare all the other kids.
342
00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:10,480
Scout's honour.
343
00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:19,120
Harrison.
344
00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:23,520
This ain't to go any further,
all right, but geezer to geezer...
345
00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:24,560
Mm?
346
00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:29,000
SOBBING: I can't say it!
347
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:32,440
Basically, um, Mollinson's dead.
348
00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:35,440
We had to store her in a freezer
until an ambulance is available.
349
00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:36,760
Oh, my God!
350
00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:38,720
Yeah, but we need your help
to move the body
351
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,760
because you're the strongest one
out of all of us
352
00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:42,000
and she's just had her lunch.
353
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,400
Poor Miss Mollinson...
354
00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:47,040
I know...
355
00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:49,480
MITCHELL WAILS
356
00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:54,120
Er, you don't
possess the talent to improvise.
357
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,880
Mate, this acting lark's
a piece of piss.
358
00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:58,480
Don't know why you make it
look so hard.
359
00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:02,280
MUSIC: Murder She Wrote Song
by Chaka Demus & Pliers
360
00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:03,560
Service!
361
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:13,560
You lying BASTARD!
362
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:17,440
Stop, stop!
363
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:20,720
Ah!
364
00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:24,440
Mrs Seaman, I presume.
365
00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:26,480
I know who ratted me out.
366
00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:28,160
It was Usma.
367
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:30,080
Oh, sir, I pinkie promise.
368
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:31,600
My lips are...
369
00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:38,440
Usma has betrayed my trust
for the last time.
370
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:40,040
She's got to be the rat.
371
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,960
Er... Wagwan?
372
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:43,640
Snakes in the girls' loos.
373
00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:48,040
Luckily, I have a spare key
to the disabled toilet.
374
00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:49,800
Oi, pound.
375
00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:54,000
There's not one rat, there's two.
376
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:57,280
Usma...and Jinx?
377
00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:58,680
Those trifling hos...
378
00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:00,120
Eeeh! Sir!
379
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:03,000
I'm so gagged you're going to
be in the new Wicked movie.
380
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,520
Can you ask Ariana Grande
to come to school?
381
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:07,960
That would be so lit!
Ooh, and Cynthia!
382
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,040
Ooh, um...
383
00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:12,000
What in the Emerald City?!
384
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:15,160
Get me out of here!
All right, all right, calm down!
385
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:17,600
THEY LAUGH
My man got excited. Yeah, yeah.
386
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:18,960
Mr Seaman.
387
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,160
All right, Hoburn.
388
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,640
Are you the body double?
You ain't even a realistic one.
389
00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:24,320
Your nose is huge!
390
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:28,400
Oh, my bad, you are the real one!
391
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:32,080
Right, everyone,
start clearing the canteen.
392
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:33,440
I could...
393
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:34,920
I could wipe the floors with them.
394
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:36,800
You're relentless. I see that.
395
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:38,880
Well, perhaps
we can work something out.
396
00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:44,160
Out! You silly twat!
397
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:45,720
Er, Mr Harper!
398
00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:47,480
Are you not ashamed of yourself?
399
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:48,840
Are you not embarrassed?
400
00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:51,520
Because going on that show
is really embarrassing!
401
00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:54,720
What the hell is going on?
402
00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:57,400
What are you going to do now?
403
00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:00,240
Untangle the web.
404
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:04,600
I can only apologise
for the chaos in the canteen.
405
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:05,920
As a man in your position,
406
00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:08,360
you must want to just
put us out of our misery.
407
00:18:08,360 --> 00:18:11,120
Yeah. I'd like to do that. Yes.
408
00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:14,040
I mean, there must be something
I can do to reassure you
409
00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:17,120
I'm an enormously safe
pair of hands.
410
00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:19,120
Yeah, they do look quite big,
don't they?
411
00:18:19,120 --> 00:18:21,640
Yes. I thought I saw you
sizing them up.
412
00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:24,880
Well, I'm a woman of the world,
so if that's what it takes
413
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:27,560
to get this school
out of special measures...
414
00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:30,400
So be it.
415
00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:35,480
Would you prefer to stand or sit?
416
00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:40,880
AMERICAN ACCENT: Thank y'all
for joining me.
417
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:46,080
Colonel Mustard...
418
00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:47,640
..Mrs Peacock...
419
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:49,200
..Professor Plum...
420
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:50,800
..Miss Scarlett...
421
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:53,040
..Rev Green, and Mrs White.
422
00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:54,800
Why do I have to be Mrs White?
423
00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:58,080
This bowtie's going to choke me.
424
00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:00,120
Death by penguin suit. Shh!
425
00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:02,400
Do you not think you're
taking this a little bit too far?
426
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:04,360
You haven't seen nothing yet.
427
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:07,880
Y'all really had me fooled.
428
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:10,400
I was running round the school
trying to find the culprit
429
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:11,840
who forged this slip!
430
00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:19,240
I was looking for one culprit,
when, in fact, you're all snakes!
431
00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:21,320
ALL PROTEST
432
00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:23,760
Don't deny it!
433
00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:27,480
None of you could hold a fart,
let alone a secret.
434
00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:30,880
And to think
you almost sabotaged my shot
435
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:32,840
at getting back in the big time.
436
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,800
When you say "back"
in the big time...
437
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:36,960
Silence!
438
00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:38,680
That audition was my last chance
439
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:41,240
to win back the respect
of the drag community!
440
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:43,960
Jinx.
441
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:46,360
You're an unseasoned,
boot-cut begging bitch.
442
00:19:46,360 --> 00:19:48,200
Oh...
443
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:52,360
Inchez, the closest you've ever been
to the hood is your daddy's Volvo.
444
00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:54,080
Blessing?
445
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:55,800
More like a curse.
446
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:56,920
Grrr.
447
00:19:56,920 --> 00:20:00,000
Harrison, you're so dumb that
when your mum said it was chilly out,
448
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,680
you ran outside with a spoon.
449
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:05,960
Usma, your wings ain't straight.
450
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:08,280
They ain't ever been straight.
451
00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:12,760
Et tu, Warren.
452
00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:16,240
New class nickname alert.
453
00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:18,560
Trash K!
454
00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:20,960
Mm, is...
455
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:22,560
..is that...
456
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:24,000
..Joop?!
457
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:26,280
They've also spelt Stephen wrong.
458
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:27,760
Like we'd miss that!
459
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,840
You had us in detention
signing your head shots.
460
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:32,720
Yeah. You said the upper echelon
of Stephen spell it with a P-H
461
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:34,920
and that only low-lives
spell it with a V.
462
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:36,160
Facts.
463
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:38,040
How could I have been so blind?
464
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:40,800
There's only one low-life
I know personally
465
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:43,600
who would wear such a basic scent.
466
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:48,520
HINGES SQUEAK
467
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:51,040
VOICES ECHO: We all have those
notebooks, you muppet...
468
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:53,720
Joop is not a deodorant,
by the way...
469
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:56,480
The butler did it.
470
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:04,480
What are you doing?
All right, soldier?
471
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,680
You lock and load the dishwasher,
I'll throw every...
472
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:09,000
I don't think so, Mr Fraser.
473
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,560
Geoffrey Pruitt, Ofsted Inspector.
474
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:15,480
This school is finished.
475
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:17,600
Please, Mr Inspector,
I'll do anything.
476
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:20,040
This school is my life.
My cousin works at London Zoo -
477
00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:21,560
he'll let you shoot the panda!
478
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:23,400
Bribery won't work with me.
479
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:25,480
This is entrapment!
You've tricked me!
480
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:27,560
I'm surprised you didn't
recognise me, Mr Fraser.
481
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:30,480
This is my seventh visit
to Abbey Grove.
482
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:32,720
Do you really not remember me?
483
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,640
2017, Santa's exploding sack.
484
00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:37,840
ALARMS BLARING, PANICKED SHOUTS
485
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:44,120
2016, the Leonard Cohen
Memorial Dance-Off.
486
00:21:44,120 --> 00:21:49,840
Dance me to your beauty
with a burning violin
487
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:53,760
Dance me through the panic...
488
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:56,400
Nothing? Nope.
489
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:57,800
Good heavens.
490
00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:01,400
Nothing you say can persuade...
No! No! No, no, no, no, no.
491
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:04,360
Fraser! What is going on?
492
00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:05,800
I could ask you the same thing.
493
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:07,400
This is the Ofsted inspector.
494
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:09,560
We're having
"an important conversation".
495
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:12,680
This could be the difference between
"poor" and "good".
496
00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:14,880
That's not the inspector. What?
497
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:17,760
Geoffrey Pruitt, Ofsted inspector.
498
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:20,200
You're not. Are you?
499
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:21,880
Well, then, who are you?
500
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:23,800
Dave. Scrubbers4U.
501
00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:28,080
Fraser! What have you done?
502
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:30,640
I needed some help in the kitchen
so I ordered a task rabbit.
503
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:33,800
I think there's been
a teeny weeny mix-up. You think?!
504
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:37,720
You mean the actual Ofsted inspector
has been working in your kitchen
505
00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:39,840
while I've been tugging off
this rabbit?!
506
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:44,040
I think I've seen
and heard quite enough.
507
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:45,360
MUSIC: THAT GIRL
by Bree Runway
508
00:22:45,360 --> 00:22:47,000
No! Oh, inspector!
509
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,080
Inspector! Oh...
510
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:50,960
Come with me.
511
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:52,720
Mitchell!
512
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:55,760
Mitchell!
513
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:00,720
Mitchell! I'll kill him!
514
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:05,840
Mr Pruitt, please. If we could just
go back to my office,
515
00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:07,480
I'm sure we could iron things out.
516
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:09,720
I also do ironing! Geoffrey, please!
517
00:23:09,720 --> 00:23:11,200
I've seen how you iron things out.
518
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:13,320
Unfortunately you're barking
up the wrong tree.
519
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:16,080
Once I present my report
to the authorities,
520
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,880
they will make the final decision
about Abbey Grove.
521
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:20,920
HORN BEEPS
522
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:30,320
Mitchell! Mr Carmichael! Get
your class back inside right now!
523
00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:31,640
Mitchell! You snake!
524
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:33,480
I'm sorry for dobbing you in,
all right?
525
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:35,160
But I've got a surprise
to make it up to ya.
526
00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:36,880
Nothing you do
could make me forgive you.
527
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:39,200
You betrayed me,
and do you know what hurts the most?
528
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:42,160
After all these years, you don't even
know how to spell my damn name!
529
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:45,120
Look! Now is not the time.
530
00:23:45,120 --> 00:23:48,880
Mr Carmichael, get your class
back inside right now!
531
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:51,000
Oi, Magic Mike!
532
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:52,520
Does this dump have a toilet?
533
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:54,240
If I don't get these queens
to one soon,
534
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:56,720
you're going to get exploding tucks
all over your seats.
535
00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:58,880
Oh... Oh, hello.
536
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:00,400
Where the hell's this?
537
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:01,520
You couldn't go to the gig,
538
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:03,400
so I thought I'd bring
the after party to you.
539
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:05,760
It's amazing what the promise
of some free plonk will do.
540
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:07,840
Who's the sexy square sausage?
541
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:10,360
Geoffrey Pruitt, Ofsted Inspector.
542
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:14,480
What's going on?
543
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:15,640
Er...
544
00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:18,360
It's parents' evening, so I thought
I'd give some of the mums a lift,
545
00:24:18,360 --> 00:24:21,000
you know, what with fuel prices
being what they are at the moment.
546
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:22,960
Right. We like to do our bit
for the community
547
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:24,880
here at Abbey Grove, don't we?
Mm-hm. Yeah.
548
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:26,840
Yes! See, this is my mum.
549
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:28,960
Oh! OK, big boy, watch the hair.
550
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:30,800
This...This is my mum.
551
00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:33,040
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my mum.
552
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:34,440
That's my mum!
553
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:36,280
And that's my son!
554
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:37,880
Mum!
555
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:39,440
I came to surprise you in Soho,
556
00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:43,600
but you never showed, so I thought,
when in Rome! Aww!
557
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:44,720
Bruv!
558
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:46,520
How does he shave
so close to the grain?
559
00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:48,800
I don't wish to rain on this parade,
560
00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:51,640
but sadly I do actually know
what a drag queen is,
561
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:55,400
and this really
isn't fooling anyone.
562
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:58,280
Nothing's going to dissuade me
from informing the authorities
563
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:00,480
and showing them my report. Nothing.
564
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:03,640
Wait, where the fuck am I?
565
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:05,800
Hey, Danny Dyer -
where's the liquor?
566
00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:07,240
Told you I had a surprise for ya!
567
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:10,240
PRUITT: Bianca Del Rio!
568
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:11,440
OMG, OM... Oh...
569
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:14,760
I'm your number one fan.
570
00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:17,360
Read me, please, come on!
571
00:25:17,360 --> 00:25:18,760
Make me feel worthless!
572
00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:20,640
Er, what the hell is this?
573
00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:23,760
I don't believe I signed up
for a free meet and greet!
574
00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:25,600
Who is responsible for this freak?
575
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:29,080
Actually, that's my mother!
576
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:30,840
I ain't your mama, bitch!
577
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:32,920
Sorry, what is happening here?
578
00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:36,240
I think you'll find drag
has saved the day.
579
00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:37,960
ALL CHEER
580
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:40,640
Well, thank God!
581
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:42,200
Which one of you is Drag?
582
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:45,240
MUSIC: Levitating
by Dua Lipa
583
00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:50,040
What's your favourite episode
of Drag Race?
584
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:52,120
I know you weren't in
the most recent All Stars...
585
00:25:52,120 --> 00:25:53,800
Lips? Gorgeous.
Foundation, gorgeous.
586
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:55,040
Eyebrows... Yeah?
587
00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:57,760
Too much. A bit too much, harsh,
harsh. Oh... I'd rather talk to you.
588
00:25:57,760 --> 00:25:59,560
OK, so my name's Jinx.
Do you like...?
589
00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:01,280
Nah, actually I'd rather
talk to you. Yes!
590
00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:03,600
So what you've got to do is,
start off light...
591
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:07,760
All right?
592
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:11,000
Look, I'm really sorry that
I reported you to Hoburn
593
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,920
and almost sabotaged your career.
It was bang out of order.
594
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:14,960
Why'd you do it?
595
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:17,240
Well, Blessing and that lot
have been freaking out
596
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:18,400
about these mock exams -
597
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:20,040
and you know that kid, Stinky Steve?
598
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:22,080
He's been held back
for over a decade
599
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:24,040
because he keeps failing
those exams.
600
00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:26,360
I didn't want that
to happen to our kids!
601
00:26:26,360 --> 00:26:29,800
Mitchell, Steve's not been held back.
602
00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:31,280
He's just tall.
603
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:32,520
Oh.
604
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:34,000
That makes more sense.
605
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:35,200
Huh.
606
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:37,640
Well, I should've spoken to you
instead of sneaking around.
607
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:39,440
I'm really sorry. Hmm.
608
00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:40,680
Don't worry.
609
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:43,400
To be fair,
I probably wouldn't have listened.
610
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:45,440
You know what I'm like.
611
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:50,080
Tomorrow we'll take the plastic
off the textbooks, but right now...
612
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:51,160
Hmm!
613
00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:53,320
..I've got a performance to slay.
614
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:55,120
Are you nervous? Oh, sweetie.
615
00:26:55,120 --> 00:26:57,640
It's everybody else
that should be nervous.
616
00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:00,160
THEY CHUCKLE
617
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:01,960
So what was the food like
on Drag Race?
618
00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:04,120
Did you ever manage
to get to RuPaul's house?
619
00:27:04,120 --> 00:27:06,480
You know what?
If you give me more liquor,
620
00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:08,800
I'll tell you where
the bodies are buried.
621
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:11,680
CHEERING
622
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:14,320
MUSIC: I'm Every Woman
by Whitney Houston
623
00:27:16,120 --> 00:27:19,760
Cos I'm every woman
Every woman
624
00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:27,280
It's all in me
625
00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:35,880
It's all in me
626
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:13,000
I'm every woman
627
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:16,560
It's all in me
628
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:18,640
Anything you want done baby
629
00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:20,440
I do it naturally
630
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:27,480
I'm every woman
631
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:30,440
It's all in me
632
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:32,680
I can read your thoughts right now
633
00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:35,120
Every one from A to Z
634
00:28:35,120 --> 00:28:37,360
Whoa, whoa, whoa
635
00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:41,480
Whoa, whoa, whoa
636
00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:47,160
I ain't braggin'
Cos I'm the one
637
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:51,040
Just ask me
Ooh, and it shall be done
638
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:55,040
And don't bother
To compare...
639
00:28:55,090 --> 00:28:59,640
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