All language subtitles for All American s05e08 Feel So Good.eng

Man: ?? it's that good,
good, good, good life ??

Alicia: So which card game am
I gonna beat you at tonight?

I ain't playing no more
card games with you, girl.

Somehow I always end
up with my clothes off.

And that's a bad thing why?

Because you cheat.

Can't blame a girl for
wanting to get you naked.

We ain't got to play
cards to get naked.

Oh, ok.

Heh, but I still can't stay.

I got a family party tonight.

Sounds like fun.

Sounds like you want an invite.

I thought family gatherings
wasn't in our rules.

Well, I mean, parties are fun,

and we're having fun.

Everybody in my
life gonna be there,

including my ex.

We all have a past.

There's no getting around that.

Ok. Party it is.

Party it is.

Man: ?? it's that good,
good, good, good life ??

And now that we redid
the arts center,

we can offer electives
before and after school,

so that's cool.

- Wow.
- Mm-hmm.

Billy, I... I am
really impressed.

Thank you.

You have taken complete
ownership of this job...

Yeah.

But more importantly,

seems like you really love it.

Yeah.

Hey, happy birthday,
coach baker.

Hey, thank you, Kyle. I do.

I do love it a
lot, just feels...

It feels good to be able
to make a difference,

you know, in these kids' lives.

I have never been so
happy to be proven wrong.

[Cell phone chimes]

Principal really suits you.

Thank you.

- Everything ok?
- Yeah, yeah.

I just got to handle
some things. Lookit.

- I'll see you tonight?
- See you tonight...

- All right.
- Principal baker.

Ha ha ha!

I guess Layla's back from tour.

Patience back, too?

No. She has more shows,

but, yo, Spencer just texted me,

said he's bringing
Alicia tonight,

so our car is officially full.

Coop: I'm sorry. I'm sure
he was gonna tell you that.

Well, why would he have
to tell me anything

when we all know you will?

Ooh, awkward.

We're still finding our rhythm.

Yeah. You ever think
about moving out?

Of a Beverly Hills
mansion? No. I don't.

But things with Olivia
are clearly super off,

and the house feels
a little crowded.

Ok. Even if I wanted to move,

which I don't,

uh, I wouldn't even
have time to look.

I'm telling you, man,

willmont lives up to the hype.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

I mean, they throw this cookout

before every game.

The whole school comes.

You know, maybe you should
consider coaching there.

- Ooh, that was sick.
- Come on.

Yeah. I'm gonna pretend
you didn't say that.

Mm-hmm.

Plus, why would anyone
give up oceanfront views?

Ok. Don't get me wrong.

Coastal was great, ok?

I loved the tour,

and chatting with coach
montes was awesome,

but willmont just
hit different for me.

Oh, no. No, no,
no, no, no. Nope.

- Vvv!
- Nope.

What's up, j.?

I didn't know you was
back from willmont.

Hey. Yeah. Just got
back this morning.

- Mm mm mm!
- How'd it go?

Yeah. You know,
it was all right.

It was kind of hot, muggy, eh.

- Ok.
- Yeah.

Heh. I'll catch y'all later.

- Yep. Yep, yep, yep.
- Yeah.

?? Let's get this work ??

No, no, no. Hold up. Hold up.

What was that about?

You were just raving
about the weather,

said it was good for your skin.

Look. Spence and I
are cool and all,

but... I don't know...
Feels kind of weird

rubbing it in his face
that I'm leaving gau.

But you're ok with
rubbing it in mine

that coastal's not
your top choice?

I haven't made any
decisions yet, all right?

All right, all right.

Well, while you
sit here debating

between hot and muggy
versus breezy and beautiful,

I'll be finishing up my speech
for your dad's birthday.

Ok, love that for you.

I am just gonna wing it

because I'm funnier than you.

Right. Whatever, man.

Hey, you hear if
j.J.'S coming?

- He can't make it.
- Wait. He responded to you?

Was he not supposed to?

He literally just sent
Spence and I a video

that should not be
allowed on the Internet.

You serious?

J.j. Punched you in the face,

and now you all
are text buddies?

We got over it.

I mean, dude, he's our friend.

What's up with you?

Nothing. I'll see you later.

Billy: 24 hours to make

the most important
decision of my life.

You make life-changing
decisions all the time.

What do you think I should do?

I help people fight
for their lives.

This is a decision
only you can make.

It's not like I don't
love being principal

at south crenshaw,
but the opportunity

to rebuild and coach
at a d1 program,

that's not gonna
come back around,

not to mention being reunited

with Jordan and
Spencer on the field.

Come on.

I mean, that's
assuming that Jordan's

just scratching an itch

by looking at these
other schools, but...

It's ok to say
it's your dream job

and you want it, babe.

Spencer sent me in
there to fight for Kenny

for the head-coaching
job at gau, and I...

He's gonna think I betrayed him.

So talk to him.

Talk to both the boys,
see what they think.

I can't do that, either.

Barnes says the offer
has to be confidential

until I make a final decision.

Screw a.D. Barnes'
confidentiality.

Be honest with yourself.

Be honest with the boys

and stop hiding behind excuses.

You do all that, and the
right answer will come,

but for now, it's
your birthday...

Whoo hoo.

And I have a party to plan.

Thank you, baby.

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Mm. Ok. Jordan,
we're not home alone.

Who cares? Risky is sexy.

- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.

It's also risky.

Ok. Then stop kissing me.

You should know better than
to challenge me by now.

Ok. True. True. Mm.

So how was your trip?

Right now, I am only focused

on how much I missed you.

One week is 6 days too many.

- Not 7?
- No.

I can go 24 hours
without talking to you.

I'm not crazy.

Yeah, just like I
can stop kissing you.

- Exactly.
- Ok.

- Hey, Layla.
- Hey.

- How was Atlanta?
- Yeah.

It was, uh, uh, hot
and busy, you know,

but Patience killed it.

Nice. Did you see Simone
while you were there?

Kind of, yeah.

We saw each other briefly
at Patience's show

and then couple
times at bringston.

- Oh.
- Mm-hmm.

What are you doing here?

Uh, he is helping me
set up the office,

which thank you for letting me

take it over, by the way.

No problem.

I mean, someone should
use it because we all know

how I like to write in the wild.

- Ha ha! We...
- Ha ha ha! The wild.

- It's true.
- Good.

- It wasn't that funny.
- I should get going.

Yeah. Yeah. You should.

Thanks for carrying all
the heavy boxes for me.

- No problem.
- Ok, Thor.

Just make sure you don't
ruin our speech tonight

with your 5-year-old humor, ok?

I am the god of humor.

Bl-l-l-l-l-l!

Grace: When I was your
age, I had to take 3 buses,

walk half a mile to
get a view like this.

Yeah. I don't take
it for granted, ma.

I know you don't.

So are you ready for tonight?

My speech is. I
don't know if I am.

I'm bringing Alicia.

You think that's gonna be weird?

Hell yeah, it's gonna be weird.

Ain't you supposed to be
making me feel better?

I am not here to
make you feel better.

I am here to tell you the truth,

and the truth is,

this is the way life goes

when you're willing to
fall in and out of love.

Alicia and I ain't doing that.

We just having fun.

I'm not talking about Alicia,

but I am proud of you

for finally putting
yourself first

and doing what makes you happy.

I am happy, and my
classes are dope.

Coach Kenny and I added wrinkles

to the playbook for next season.

A.d. Barnes has been
keeping in touch with him.

Kenny should be getting
the head coach offer

any day now.

You sound confident.

It's easy to be confident when
nobody else wants the job.

Ha ha!

Look at you...

All of that and a date tonight.

Now you're just being mean.

Ha ha ha!

Where your husband at?

Asher: And that is what
I call the baker's dozen.

- Nothing?
- Uh-uh.

Maybe my timing was off.
Should a start over?

Please no.

I could lead with a joke.

Yeah.

Why did coach baker
stand in the corner?

Why?

Because he needed a timeout.

- Mm-hmm.
- Ohh...

Nobody should give
me the mic tonight.

I think if you lean
less into the dad jokes

and more into who
coach baker is,

you'll find your funny.

Being funny isn't my thing.

It's j.J.'S.

You still haven't
heard from him?

No.

Apparently, Jordan
and Spencer have,

which means he didn't
move out of this house

to get away from us.

He moved out to
get away from me.

Maybe he just needs
a little space.

From just me?

Well, sometimes the people
we take our crap out on

are the ones we
feel safest with.

Don't mistake j.J.
Ghosting you for anger.

Just keep letting him
know you're there.

- Ooh.
- Hey, you ok?

Yeah. I think I
just pulled a muscle

in yoga the other
day, but I'm fine.

Now hit me with
another dad joke.

- All right, all right.
- Let's see what you got.

All right. Coming
up. Coming up.

Uh... ooh.

Why did coach baker
ask for his change?

- Why?
- To get his quarterback.

- Ha ha ha!
- Eh.

Hey, dad, happy birthday.

Hey, you made it back.

- Birthday boy.
- All right.

- What's happening, captain?
- You know.

So... how was it?

Willmont was amazing, ok?

I mean, their athletic facility,

it rivals gau's.

Plus, I got to spend time

with the offensive
coordinator and his family.

Yeah. He reminds me a
lot of you, you know,

and he had a ton
of things to say

about my future as a qb.

All right. Well, I
don't doubt that.

You know, it's gonna
be pretty tough

to choose between
willmont and coastal.

I mean, there's a ton of reasons

for me to stay here.

Oh, so you're serious
about transferring.

I thought this was just, like,

a testing-out-the-waters
type of a thing.

No. I want to play football
next season, you know?

Gau's program is
a mess right now.

Well, maybe you
should give them time

to try to figure things out.

Dad, I'm out of time, ok?

I have to think about my future,

and that means finding a
coach who believes in me.

I believe in you.

I know you do, but you're
not my coach anymore.

You're my dad.

I just have to find
my version of you

on the football field.

You do know there's people
that do that, right?

But that costs money, ok?

Besides, it's what's
inside that counts.

Ok, so what's inside?

I framed my speech
for Billy tonight.

You don't want to
spend a cent, do you?

Are you here to help me

or just be a pain in my ass?

I just came to give
you the heads-up

that Liv overheard
me telling Skye

that you were bringing
Alicia tonight.

What is with you
and that damn mouth?

I was having a
private conversation

with my girlfriend.

Besides, she was
gonna find out anyway

when y'all two
walked in together.

How'd she take it?

More pissed at me than
concerned about you

if that helps.

You think it's a bad idea,

me bringing Alicia tonight?

I think it's a worse
idea to uninvite her now.

Besides, you and Liv
gonna have to rip off

that breakup
band-aid eventually.

[Exhales]

[Inhales]

[Plays drumroll]

Mm...

Ok. Either you've had
way too much caffeine

or something's bugging.

Or something.

All right. Hit me with it.

What's got you so riled up?

I'm supposed to be finishing up

my speech for my dad's birthday,

but all I can think about

is that Spencer's
bringing a date.

To your dad's birthday?

I know.

I mean, he can do what
he wants to do, right?

We're not together.

It's just... I don't know.

It's weird seeing him
move on before me.

And who says he's
moved on before you?

I think me showing up
dateless says it all.

Then don't show up dateless.

What if I went with you...

As your faux date, of course?

You don't have to do that,

and don't say "faux."

It's weird.

I want to go.

Besides, you need
someone by your side

who can make you laugh
when he's looking

and maybe even when he's not.

Just think about it.

Layla: So you back
for more risk?

Uh...

Hee hee!

Actually, um...

I'm back to hear

what really went
down in Atlanta.

Uh, I mean, it's like I
told Liv... It was fine.

Well, you see, I know

all of your facial expressions,

and the one that you
had when Liv asked

how Atlanta was was
your "so not fine" look.

I don't have a "so
not fine" look.

Wait. How many facial
expressions do I have?

8. Don't dodge the question.

Ok. Fine. Yeah.

Simone and I had a conversation

or two or 3.

Why didn't you tell me?

Because it had
nothing to do with you

and everything to do
with me and Simone.

Ok. Fine.

Technically, it kind
of had to do with you,

but really, it was
more about me and her

and all the stuff that was
left unsaid at Christmas, ok?

I just wanted to clear the air.

You told her about
us, didn't you,

without any heads-up
or input from me.

Well, it didn't
exactly go as I hoped,

if that makes you feel better.

This is a joke to you, ok?

I should've been the
one to tell her, Layla.

It's not a joke, Jordan.

Simone was my friend,
and woman to woman,

I owed her a conversation.

Ok. Well, Simone wasn't
just my friend, ok?

She was my wife.

Wow. Ok.

Look. My point is, is
that I should've had

a say in who tells her and when.

We should've made that
decision together as a team.

Simone and I, we're
in a good place,

and now she's going to think

that I lied to her or, worse,

didn't care enough to
tell her personally.

Well, congratulations, you know?

I'm so glad that you got
to clear your conscience.

- Jordan, I...
- No. Forget it.

Young chapa: ??
run it back, hey ??

?? run it back, hey, hey ??

?? run it back, hey ??

?? run it back, run it
back, run it back... ??

- Happy birthday!
- Happy birthday!

What is this?

It's your birthday roast.

Roast? On a random birth...

Should I be worried?

- No birthday is random.
- Right.

Just sit back and relax

and know that, whatever's
said about you tonight,

that we love you.

- Ok.
- Ok.

I got to go check
on the caterers.

All right. You look good.

- Like my Billy baker?
- I do.

Ah, they got you in on
this thing, too, huh?

They couldn't pay me to miss it.

All right. Nice.

Plus, this track
suit beats a dress

and heels any day.

I wish they told me
to put a track suit on

right about now.

Ha ha! Hey, listen.

Billy, I want to thank you

for always looking
out for Spencer.

Please.

What you did to help
Kenny get considered

for the coaching job
at gau means a lot...

Ok. Mm-hmm.

And, according to Spencer,

it looks like Kenny'll
get an offer soon.

He's definitely
on the short list,

but you should know
that a.D. Barnes,

he's considering
other candidates.

- Seriously?
- Yeah.

Spencer seemed to think

no one else wanted the job.

You know how these things are.

There's always somebody
else in the mix,

somebody who's gonna
want to cover...

Cover their bases.

- Can we talk about this later?
- Yeah.

- All right.
- Of course.

- I'm glad you made it.
- Yeah.

- All right now.
- Ok.

What's up?

Ok. I found a few
potential spots for you,

and, look, this one
even has a fireplace.

I mean, it looks a'ight,
but I've seen firsthand

that the photos is
not the whole truth.

Babe, why are you still on this?

I'm not moving.

Whatever's happening here

is better than what's out there.

Now let's get going.

Spencer's waiting on
us, and we already late.

Ok.

Ok. Alicia should
be here soon,

and Coop is not far behind.

Mm-hmm.

- You good?
- Yep. Yeah. Yeah.

J., I owe you an apology, man.

For what?

I seen how hyped you was earlier

after your visit to willmont.

Second I walked in the door,

your whole mood changed.

- That's not us.
- No. That's not us.

No. I never want you to
quiet your excitement

because of me.

We cool. On god.

Thanks, Spence.
I appreciate it.

Of course.

Oh, sorry. The door was open.

What's up. Oh, you all good.

Alicia, this is...

Jordan baker.

I'm sorry. Have we met?

Somehow we've always
missed each other

when I'm here, but
Spence filled me in

on all of his roommates.

Wow. Well, don't listen
to anything he says.

It's so nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you, too.
- Oh, ok.

Coop is hollering from outside.

- We should go.
- All right.

[Mayowa's "life's
a party" playing]

?? Life's a party, yeah ??

?? so enjoy yourself ??

?? show somebody yeah ??

?? how to love... ??

What's with the look?

Can't help it.
It's just my face.

Didn't mean to hit a trigger,

just making sure you're good.

I'm sorry.

It's just, it's been
a rough few days.

Rough days mean the
good ones are coming.

I hope you're right. Ha ha!

Mm...

Hey, are you ok?

Yeah. Yeah. It'll pass.

I just got to breathe slowly.

[Inhales]

- Mm...
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hey, you're still having pain?

Why don't I get
you some water, ok?

Thanks.

Babe, let's go.
You should rest.

No, no. I'll be fine.

I made a doctor's
appointment for tomorrow.

Come on. Tonight's about you.

Besides, my pain's
at, like, a 4.

Out of 5?

Out of 10, ash.

If it gets worse, I
promise I'll tell you.

- Ok.
- Hey...

- Hey.
- Oh.

Ha ha! What's up?
Happy birthday, coach.

What's happening?
Glad you made it.

Yeah. Ok. Wait till my speech.

You might be saying otherwise.

Ah. Laura got to
you, too, huh?

Oh, she got to everybody.

Oh, look at this thing.

?? Show somebody, yeah ??

?? how to love yourself... ??

Look at this.

The least she could've
done was make it my height.

She got the small
hands right, though.

Small? These are
NFL hands, baby.

What you mean?

Ok. They're not
super bowl hands.

You need big hands
to hold that trophy.

You've seen it.

- It's like that, huh?
- We'll see.

I'm coming for you.

Hey, you.

I can't wait to see
you m.C. Tonight.

Mm, you should make a joke

about sleeping in Billy's bed.

What is your obsession

with me living at
the baker house?

I'm not obsessed.

But you kind of are,
and I'm kind of tired

of talking about it, all right?

Ms. Baker's my boss.

She's doing me a
solid on the rent

to help me save money.

Nobody in their right mind

would walk away from
a situation like that.

Ok. Well, I just love you

and want you to be happy.

Laura: Hey, Coop,
we're ready for you.

Ok. Cool.

Ok. Let's do it.

Look. I'm happy, ok?
Can we just move on?

Mm-hmm.

I tried to convert Spence...

I really have...
But he just loves

to take it from
the bottom, right?

Personally, I'm a top guy.

Ok. Are we still talking
about toilet paper?

What's wrong with you?

- Refills.
- Ok.

- Refills.
- Ok. Thank you.

- Yep.
- He's funny.

You didn't tell me
Jordan was so cool.

I didn't know I was supposed to.

- Are you kidding?
- Damn.

You know, I have a
list about a mile long

of girls who would
die to date him.

- He's single, right?
- Recently single, yeah.

Ok.

Like you said, everybody
got a past, right?

Mm-hmm. Yes.

I'm guessing that's your past.

Yeah, and she's here with Noah.

Welcome, everyone,

to coach baker's birthday roast.

Ooh! Whoop whoop!

Um, you know, you
can call me Billy.

You know that, right?

And piss off moms? No, thanks.

So I met coach baker
a few years back,

and I got to say,
for the most part,

he's all right, except he claims

to be from the hood,
my hood, to be exact.

You guys know the hoodest
thing I've seen him do?

- No?
- What?

Mow the lawn in
black air force 1s.

[Laughter]

There's nothing
worse than being born

with a ugly kid, and you got

two of them at the same time.

You guys, make some noise
for the baker twins.

All right.

Thank you.

Wow, wow, wow.

Thanks, Coop, for
filling in tonight.

You know, Patience
couldn't be here

because she's
somewhere on a stage

actually entertaining people.

Ooh...

Well, you know, I'll go first

because, you know,
I was born first.

Hence, the odd-shaped head.

You know, I like to think

that I held the
door open for you.

That's really gross, Jordan.

Well, if you couldn't
already tell,

Jordan has our dad's
sense of humor.

Oh, that's a low blow, Liv.

Growing up, people used to ask,

"what was it like, you know,

"having an absentee father

who was also an NFL star?"

That's not fair, Jordan.

He wasn't really a star.

Right.

Obviously, tonight
we're all here

to celebrate our dad

in a very, very mean way.

Yes, and we thought of one story

that would fit perfectly.

Y'all, don't you dare.

- The accidental streaker.
- The accidental streaker.

- Ha ha ha!
- Oh...

Jordan: So one morning,
our dad went out

to take a shower before
construction started,

but, of course,
it was the day...

Should I be doing a
vibe check over here?

Is it that obvious?

Yeah. It is.

You and Alicia
having a good time?

Yeah. Yeah. She's cool.

- But she's not Olivia.
- No.

No. She's not.

And the guy Olivia brought,

he's not you.

You know, before you and Olivia

ever started dating,
you were friends,

best friends.

There's nothing
wrong with trying

to get back to that place.

And what if she's not ready?

Then at least you
know you tried.

[Laughter and applause]

?? Diggy diggy diggy Dee ??

Coop: Up next is the woman
who gave me my big break

and then took it
away... Layla keating.

[Cheering and applause]

Thank you,

and Jordan already made the joke

about Patience being
more talented than you,

so I don't have to, right?

Ok. Great.

Well, when I was a kid,
I spent so much time

at the baker house,
everyone thought

I was their third child,
so Liv was the smart one,

and Jordan was the pretty one,

and, because I wasn't
actually related

to coach baker, I
was the lucky one.

Oh...

Layla: I got to grow up enjoying
coach baker's famous ribs...

A virgin Billy bellini.

Thank you.

It's pretty catchy and...

Tasty.

Hmm.

Your mom really went all out.

Yeah. Birthdays are
kind of her thing.

So does your dad
really like bellinis,

or is that her thing, too?

Oh, no. That man loves
a good, sugary cocktail,

well, when no one's
looking, of course.

Outing a man's
private drink, savage.

[Laughter]

Ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Ha! Ha! Ha ha!

Whoa. Ok. Slow it down.

If I know that's
your fake laugh,

you better believe
Spencer will, too.

Coop: You know, not all of us
get to live out our dreams.

I mean, take Asher,
for instance.

He wanted to play
football so bad,

but he just didn't
have the heart for it.

[Laughter]

Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome Asher Adams.

[Applause]

That's good. That's real good.

Shots fired, Coop,

but I guess you got
your voice back,

not so sure that's a good thing.

Y'all are cutthroat.

Ahh, a coach hones
your strengths

and draws out your weaknesses.

They mold you into
the type of player

you're gonna be, or
if you're coach baker,

you just recruit them illegally
and move them into your house.

[Laughter]

You still mad I
took your spot, ash?

Ooh, ow. Ha ha!
Who raised y'all?

[Laughter]

Asher: Now, a baker
is someone who finds

all the right ingredients
to make the perfect dessert.

I think I've forgotten
how to laugh.

- Life ain't that deep.
- I don't know.

It's felt pretty deep lately.

Maybe if you stop
overthinking everything

and just start doing
whatever feels good,

things will lighten up.

Yeah. Impulse hasn't really

worked for me in the past, so...

So try happiness.

Right now, that's sipping

on virgin bellinis
while you watch your dad

squirm like a toddler
that's got to take a dump.

That's a very specific image.

Asher: It's a true
story, right, Mrs. Baker?

Um...

And you're right.

[Both laugh]

Hey, there she is.

Olivia: Ha ha!

Coop: I know y'all wish I
would stand up here all night

and make y'all laugh,

but they're not
paying me enough,

so I'd like to welcome

Billy's better half,
the love of his life...

Spencer James.

[Applause]

She is just
kidding, Mrs. Baker.

No, she's not, but it's ok

because most of the
time, I like you better

than I like Billy, anyway.

Hey.

Spencer: Well,
all right, then.

As Coop said, i'm Spencer James.

The part she left out
is that I am the son

coach baker never had.

[Laughter]

If you look around this room,

it's clear to see
that Billy has lived

many lives and been
called many things...

Now, careful.

NFL player, principal,

son, father,

trophy husband, ugly cryer,

bad golfer, and
even worse dancer...

[Laughter]

But no matter what,

coach will always
be my favorite.

Coach baker changed my life

the day he stepped on
that field at crenshaw

and asked me to
come play for him.

He took a chance on some kid

who liked to do
things his own way,

get into fights,

and live and die on
that football field.

That kid is you, by the
way, because I'm perfect.

No, but for real,

the friends I made at Beverly,

the kind of football
player I am,

even the most important
relationship in my life

can all be traced
back to coach baker...

Which from now on,
is this track suit

because this is fire.

How you gonna hold
out on us like that?

Some secrets are
meant to be kept.

I guess so.

Happy birthday,
coach. I love you.

[Cheering and applause]

Love you, too, man.

All jokes aside, coach baker,

you made me the
person I am today.

I just love you, man.

All right.

I have no idea who that was.

No idea.

Coop: And now I need you guys
to give a big round of applause

for the biggest,
baddest boss lady I know

and Billy's true better
half... Ms. Laura baker.

All right.

Smart move not roasting me.

I know when to
keep my mouth shut.

Laura: I think we can
all agree that Billy's

being a good sport by letting us

roast him tonight, but
you're not done yet, babe.

I know it.

Do you remember the movie

"10 things I hate about you"?

Ugh, how could I forget?

Laura: When Billy
and I started dating,

we must have
watched it 50 times.

Hours of my life I
will never get back.

Oh, please.

You tried to grow your
hair out like Heath.

[Laughter]

You can see how well
that worked out for him.

When Billy proposed to me,

he listed the 10 things
he loved about me,

but tonight's not a love fest.

It's a roast, babe,
so this is for you.

I hate the way
you comb your hair

when you don't have any at all.

I hate the way you say, "ok,"

just so you can stall.

I hate the way you pace around

when things don't make sense,

and I hate the way
you mansplain to me

just so you can vent...

I hate that.

But most of all,

I don't hate anything about you,

not even a little bit at all.

Billy baker, i'd
rather fight with you

than love anyone else.

Happy birthday, babe.

[Cheering and applause]

Coop: Now, guys, this
would not be a true roast

if we did not get to hear

from the man of honor,
the legend himself...

Mr. Billy baker.

[Cheering and applause]

Thank you, Coop. Thank
you. Thank you so much.

One of these days, I
hope to be as hood as you

as you sleep
peacefully every night

in my very expensive
Beverly Hills mansion.

Until that day, enjoy
the thread count.

- You know I will.
- All right.

Billy: Where is
Spencer? There you are.

I know he's feeling proud of
that little speech you gave me.

Thank you. Y'all
don't know this.

Spencer has a sandwich
named after him right here,

yes, right here at
the slauson cafe.

It's cute, not as cute as having

an actual football
field named after you,

but you're on your way, buddy.

[Laughter]

There they are...
Jordan and Olivia,

my pride and joy.

These days, they're more
of a pain in my neck,

my shoulder, my
lower back, right,

oh, and, of course,
my bank account.

Nobody laughed
at that. Exactly.

All the adults know
what I'm talking about.

Y'all don't know this,
but for the longest time,

for years, I called them
both thing 1 and thing 2

because right after
they were born,

trying to tell them apart
was virtually impossible

unless I took off their diapers.

Even then, it was a
little iffy, right?

He's fine now, but it was iffy.

And, of course,
my beautiful wife,

who put together
this whole thing,

I just want to tell
you that I love you.

- That's what I thought. Mm-hmm.
- Yes. Exactly.

And to the rest of
y'all... ash, Layla,

and my man here,
ok, and, of course,

how could I forget you?
I'm coming for you all...

[Laughter]

Because I don't forget.

On a more serious note...

[Clears throat]

I don't know what I did
right to deserve you all.

Like Spencer said, I
have lived many lives,

and to most of y'all,
I'm coach baker,

and you will never know
how much that means to me.

You all know I grew up
on the football field,

and it was where I
learned how to be the man,

the husband, and the father
that I've always wanted to be,

and though I am not perfect,

I know I can always come
back home to the field

whenever I need to be centered,

so I thank you all for
reminding me of that.

Thank you very
much. This is great.

[Cheering and applause]

[Black roses' "good
friends" playing]

What's up, Liv?

You look great.

Yeah. Who knew
polyester was my thing?

That's what I'm saying, right?

So... you and Noah.

You and Alicia.

Uh, this is strange.

If you'd had told
me 6 months ago

we'd be having a
conversation like this,

I'd say you was crazy.

Life was so much
easier back then.

Ain't that the truth?

Well, let's hope in 6 months,

things will be a
little more normal.

Then we'll be friends again

like it was before we dated?

No. Things will
never be the same...

But that's ok.

I don't want to erase the time

that we spent together,

but our relationship is
important to me, too.

I'd like to find what our
new version of friendship is.

Well, this seems like
a great first step.

To friendship.

To friendship.

Annamarie rosanio: ?? don't
see each other's angles ??

?? and that's ok ??

[Knocks on door]

Hey, grace. Everything ok?

You tell me.

Uh, no. I'm good.

My ego's a little bruised,

but I'll manage.

Want to have a seat?

You know, I wasn't
gonna roast you tonight,

but I changed my mind.

To Billy baker,

the man who will say
anything to get ahead...

[Chuckles]

To coach baker,

the man who will do
anything to get ahead...

Ok. Ha ha ha. Very funny.

And to principal baker,

the man who will use
anyone to get ahead.

Grace, are you ok?

Tell me you aren't considering

the head-coaching job at gau.

[Chuckles]

I can't believe I
was stupid enough

to think for one second

you would honor your
commitment as principal.

You looked me in my eye today

and told me that
you loved that job.

- You lied.
- I do love that j...

I knew as soon as some
shiny coaching job

came along, you'd jump ship.

Gau, their program is
dangling by a thread,

and they trust me to rebuild it.

D1 programs don't
just fall in your lap.

Well, somehow it
just fell into yours.

Was that when you went
behind my son's back?

Easy.

I went in there.

I went in there, and
I fought for Kenny.

I did.

I didn't know they were
gonna offer me that damn job,

and I still don't know
if I'm gonna take it...

Right.

But you asked me to
look after Spencer

when you went away to Oakland,

and this will give me
a chance to do that

and so much more.

I can build a whole
program around Spencer

and Jordan, for that matter.

Even if that's not
what Spencer wants.

You don't get it.
They don't get it.

Right, and while
you continue playing

unasked hero to our boys,

think about the boys that you're

leaving behind at crenshaw,

the ones who wouldn't
have a chance without you,

the ones who need you more

than the kids that
made it to college.

Oh...

Coop: What, you lost
your voice or something?

You ain't said two
words since we left.

I said 3 words at the party

that you completely ignored.

Wait. When you
said, "I love you"?

I didn't think you
meant it like that.

You knew exactly what I meant,

but how can you even
think of me in that way

when Patience is
all over this house?

She's not even in
town right now.

You're literally
sitting on her face.

Oh...

Right.

Look, Skye.

I care about you a lot, ok,

more than I expected
to care about someone

so soon after my breakup,

but that's the thing.

I'm not ready to go all in yet.

I'm not asking you to go all in.

But you kind of
are, and I get it.

Patience and I dove head first

into our relationship,

and it stayed that
way until the end,

and, while I like you a lot

and love the time
we spend together,

I just got to take it slow.

How slow?

I...

Can't give you that
answer right now,

but if Patience
is the real reason

you want me to move
out of this house,

you should've just said that.

I don't want this to
be another relationship

where we tiptoeing
around our feelings.

That didn't work
out well for me,

and I want this to work.

I want it to work, too.

Then don't confuse
where I'm living

with where I'm living.

Jake Simon: ?? no way
I'd find another ??

?? girl like you... ??

Um, hey, so I take
back what I said

about not being able to
talk to you for 24 hours.

That was the longest
6 hours of my life.

Well, I'm sorry that
I went to Simone

without telling you first.

Ok. You're right.

We're a team, and it's important

that we're a united front

when making important decisions

that affect our relationship.

Ok. No. I'm sorry.

I have absolutely no
say how you and Simone

choose to move
forward as friends,

and I understand
that you needed to do

what you did for
yourself and for her.

Yeah. Well, backfired
anyway, so...

Well, what do you mean?

Well, Simone wants
us to be happy

but from a distance,

so she ended our friendship.

I'm sorry, but you know what?

Who knows? Maybe
she'll come around.

Yeah. I don't think she will,

but thanks for trying
to make me feel better.

Yeah.

So what do we do

when everyone
finds out about us?

What are we gonna do?

Well...

We...

Will face it together as a team.

Mm.

Simon: ?? living anyway... ??

Want me to deal
you in for go fish,

or you want to jump
straight to cheating

at strip poker?

Though not much gonna get
me out of this track suit.

Uh, I'm gonna call it a night.

I just came back
in for my cards.

Ok.

Thanks.

I don't need to be good at cards

to know when somebody
got they poker face on.

What's up?

I'm good, you know,
just a long night.

A long night at a family party

you wanted to go to.

Look, Spence.

I've made a career
reading brides,

and I can tell when
someone's in love.

Liv and I are still
finding our way

not being together.

It's gonna take time,

but honestly, i'm
a little confused.

You're the one who
said you wanted

to keep our thing light
and fun, your words.

This is starting to feel

a little outside those rules.

Yeah. Well, the funny
thing about rules

is that the lines tend to blur.

[Sighs]

Some advice...

Either move forward
or move backwards,

but make a move.

Simon: ?? don't want to
run away from love ??

?? I don't want to run away ??

?? want to run away from love ??

Oh, man, wow.

Thank you for
everything tonight.

Hey, the 3 virgin
Billy bellinis I had

were worth every second of being

your faux... I
mean, pretend...

- Thank you.
- Date.

Well, I don't know
if it was the sugar

or the company, but
for the first time

in a long time, I
felt a little bit

of my old self return.

Told you,

being a plus-one's
my hidden talent...

You did.

And, for the record, I
had a great time, too.

If I'm being honest...

Spending time with you
is all I want to do.

Uh, Noah...

Hey, I know tonight was tough.

I just hope tomorrow

you'll be able to
find that laugh again.

It's too good to hold in.

Good night.

Noah...

[Knocks on door]

- Yeah. Hey.
- Dad, is everything ok?

- I got your text.
- Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Have a... have a seat. Yeah.

Ok.

Um, what's going on?

You're kind of stressing me out.

Ok, so I've been offered

the head-coaching job at gau.

Are you gonna take it?

I think I am, yeah,
b-b-but I want to know

how you...

I want to know how
you feel about it.

- Honestly?
- Yeah.

This is the best news
I've heard in a long time.

For real? Do you mean it?

Are you kidding me?

Dad, you are the perfect
person for the job.

Thank you, son.

Thank you, son. Ha ha ha!

I didn't know how
bad I wanted this

until tonight.

Listen. If anyone can save
that program, it's you...

Right.

But have you talked
to Spencer, though?

I mean, I know he was
pushing for Kenny.

Nobody else knows.

Wait. You told me first?

Yeah, but look, look.

Um, no one else
can know about this

but us before I go
to a.D. Barnes, ok?

Now, son...

[Clears throat]

I know that you've
decided to move on

from gau, and I fully
support that decision.

I understand it's important

for you to have your
person on the field, ok,

but if there's any
way I can convince you

to not leave, right,

I promise that I
will be the coach

that you need and
deserve in college.

Mm-hmm.

I promise,

so...

Will you stay and
play for me, son?

Heh. Yeah. Of course.

Of course.

Ha ha ha!

Ohh!

Ok. Oh, my god.

Oh, what a night.

You know, people actually
laughed at my jokes.

You were really great.

Ha ha ha!

I'm just bummed
j.J. Didn't show up.

Ohh... mm...

Ahh...

[Gasping]

[Gasping]

Oh, my god, jaymee,

is it your lupus?

Yep. I'm sorry,
ash. I think...

I think I need to
go to the hospital,

like, right now.

[Sniffles]

Greg, move your head.

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