All language subtitles for W1A - 02x03 - Series 2, Episode 3.TLA (HDTV + 720p).English.C.updated.Addic7ed.com

♪ ANIMAL MAGIC THEME TUNE ♪

Stand by two.

Make through, cue on two.

The BBC has announced the
appointment of ex-head

of Olympic Deliverance, Ian Fletcher,
as its new Head of Values.

Time now for the shipping forecast.

Superimpose...

A new week at the BBC's central
nervous centre in Central London,

but already it hasn't started well
for Head of Values, Ian Fletcher.

With just a mile left to cover
on his journey to work, he's had

a puncture in the Marylebone Road.

But the advantage of a bike that
you can simply fold up and carry

is that you can simply
fold it up and carry it

for the rest of the way.

~ Will.
~ Oh, yeah, hi, yeah, hi. How are you?

~ I'm in a bit of a hurry, I'm a bit late.
~ OK.

~ I was wondering, if you
have got any time today...
~ Yeah, sure.

~ .. between other things...
~ Yeah.
~ I had a puncture on my way in...
~ OK, cool.

~ .. and I wondered...
~ Yeah, no worries, I'll take it to
this cool bike shop I used to work in.
~ Right.

I know exactly where it is.

Yes, so if... You used
to work in a bike shop?

~ Yeah, for, like, three days.
~ Right. Well...

Yeah, cos, like, if I get it mended,
does that mean I could ride it back?

~ Yes, I mean... ~ Cool.
~ Obviously that's up to you.
~ Yeah, up to me, cool.
~ That'd be great, Will, thanks.

You can take my helmet
if you want to.

OK, cool, yeah, no worries. Yeah, cos,
like, you don't want to get killed.

~ No.
~ Cool.

~ So the other exciting news
to get out there this morning...
~ Yay.
~ Shut up.

~ .. and I've talked to Siobhan about this...
~ Oh, right?
~ You so have.

.. and for what it's worth I know
Tony's pretty spunky about this...

~ Spunky?
~ He's totally amped.
~ What?

~ Hi.
~ Oh, thank God!
~ Sorry.
~ No, Captain Values, come on in.

~ A few transport issues this morning.
~ Gah, no, bad luck.

With the creation of the new
Directorship of Betterness

at an extremely senior level,
the question now is how best to

announce that idea to a so
far unsuspecting public.

OK, so here's the thing with this. Here's
what it is - BBC Better is such a cool idea.

~ It's like a game changer,
OK? That's a no-brainer.
~ Brilliant.

But you want buy-in to the
idea of, like, major shit.

~ I mean, you've got to pre-sell
the movie rights first.
~ What?

But luckily for the BBC, pre-selling
the movie rights to major shit

is one of PR company Perfect
Curve's key areas of strength.

This would be some kind
of event, would it?

~ Some kind of event?
~ Yes.

Yes, cos what we have done in the
past, which works quite well,

we have used the Radio Theatre
for things like this.

~ Excuse me?
~ It's convenient, obviously.
~ The Radio Theatre?
~ Yes.

We're talking, like, majorly
iconic venues here.

It's becoming clear that Siobhan
has ambitious plans for launching
the idea of BBC Better.

I mean, just to introduce a note
of caution for a moment, Siobhan.

~ Yes, exactly, Ian.
~ but it is a BBC sponsored event
we're talking about here.
~ Sure.

~ We're a publicly funded
organisation. It's not The Brit Awards.
~ No.
~ So what's your point?

~ Well, we may need to be a bit
careful about tone, that's all.
~ Yes, exactly.

~ We don't want to get ahead of ourselves.
~ Like, where else do you want to be?
~ Well...

You want to be BEHIND yourself?
Like, you cannot have said that.

Can I just say, speaking
personally on this, guys,

~ I still think the Radio
Theatre has a lot of...
~ Two words

you never want to hear anywhere near
event management - radio and theatre.

~ I'm guessing you haven't actually
been in there, Siobhan, cos...
~ OK.

.. you can actually adjust
the lighting in there.

Here are some words you DO want to hear in
event management in like the 20th century...

~ 21st century.
~ OK, sure, whatever.
~ Just a detail.
~ Like, NOW, OK?

~ Well, exactly, yes, right.
~ OK, so like, "groovy" and, like, "function".

~ Brilliant.
~ Like "champagne" and, like, "reception".
~ Yes, very good.

"Cool" and, like, "brainy-dudes".

Like, "major" and "auditorium",
like, "Laura" and "Mvula".

~ "Twitter" and, like, "total meltdown" OK?
~ Brilliant.

Now, that's an event. OK?

~ Right.
~ No, yes, no.

It's too joyous.

And then Anna Rampton walks
out on that stage on her own

~ and she totally seriously kills.
~ Brilliant.

~ Bollocks.
~ Go, Anna.
~ Yes, no, the fact is, I... yes.

~ Hi, Will.
~ Oh, yeah, hey, Izzy, yeah, cool.

~ You look like you're off somewhere.
~ Yeah, yeah.
~ With Ian Fletcher's bike.

~ Yeah, I know, yeah, pretty cool.
I'm taking it to get it mended?
~ OK.

~ Yeah, it's got, like, a puncture.
~ Right, well, have fun.

~ Yeah, no worries, yeah, this is his helmet.
~ Yes, right.

Yeah, so I'll probably ride it back.

OK, well, thanks for bringing
me up to speed with all that.

Yeah, no, no worries, yeah, cool.

~ Yes?
~ So, like, where's Jack?

~ Oh, Jack's gone.
~ He's gone?
~ No, he's moved on.
~ So what, like, left?

~ No, with Anna's new job, he's
got this new thing with her now.
~ With Anna.

~ Off in Development, yes.
~ Yeah, development, yeah.
~ Yes.

OK, cool.

Elsewhere in the building,

long-serving producer Lucy Freeman
has been thinking hard about her

future at the BBC and has decided
to make herself a cup of coffee.

~ Oh, David.
~ Hi, Lucy. How are you today?

Yes, fine, yes. I didn't
see you there.

No, I know. I'm just
getting my slow release.

Yes, so I see.

~ Can I just ask you, have you lost weight?
~ Me?
~ Yes.
~ No, I...

~ Have you not?
~ No, I don't think so, no. Why?

I don't know. Maybe it's just those jeans.
Honestly, you're so lucky, Lucy.

What exactly do you want, David,
cos I'm finding this a bit...

No, nothing, Lucy,
I don't want anything.

~ Anyway, I'm not supposed
to tell anyone anyway, so...
~ Right.
~ No.

~ Tell what?
~ So, I had a meeting with Anna
last night, she asked to see me.

Apparently, when she first
mentioned One Big Family

at the interview... Oh, my God,
that's such a genius title.

When she talked about it, they
were like, we haven't even got
enough boxes for that to tick.

~ Good, I'm very pleased for her.
~ I know, lovely Anna.

Anyway, she's, like, "First of all
that show is going to be massive,

~ "and you're going to exec produce it."
~ Hang on...

~ Me, I mean.
~ Oh, right.

It was like I was being
enunciated or something.

~ Is that the right word?
~ No.

~ Doesn't matter, it sounds right.
~ Yes.
~ And anyway, then she's like,

~ "This is absolutely top secret.
You're not to tell anybody."
~ No.

"There's going to be lots of changes.
There's going to be this new job,

~ "like, Senior Executive,
Primetime Factuality."
~ Right.

"They're going to have to interview for it,
but basically they'd like it to be you."

~ You mean you.
~ Me, yes.
~ Right. Well, that's great, David,
I mean, that's really great.
~ I know.

~ I'm not sure what else to say.
~ Couldn't believe it.
~ No, it is astonishing.

~ I went straight over into All
Bar One afterwards and had three
Flaming Volcanoes straight off.
~ Really.

~ I didn't know what else to do.
~ No.

~ That's not centred.
~ No, I'm just doing it.
~ Yes.

~ You didn't like the idea of Steve Coogan.
~ No.

~ I just thought that might be, like...
~ No, I don't want him.

Meanwhile, Anna is acclimatising
quickly to her even more

elevated role as the BBC's
first ever Director of Better.

~ And with Lord Reith?
~ Yes.
~ Cos apparently he was like the first ever...
~ Yes, no, I saw the pictures.

~ He's too frightening.
~ Right, sure, yes.

But with great power comes great
responsibility, and her first task

has been to launch a thorough review
of the back wall of her office.

~ OK, that's...
~ Good.
~ Oh, yeah, great news
about the Better launch.
~ Yes.

~ Like, I've never been to Pinewood, but
it sounds like Siobhan's pulling out all...
~ Exactly, yes.

~ So I bumped into Alice in the coffee queue.
~ Alice?

~ Alice, Tony Hall's...
~ Yes, Alice, yes, her.

~ So with the BBC Better Launch...
~ Yes.

~ .. she was talking about releasing bits
of your speech to the press beforehand.
~ Before it.

~ Apparently that's, like, standard.
~ Mm.

Also she thought Tony would want to have
a look at a draft before you finalise it.

~ Yes, so I... ~ Yes.
~ I said we'd send something over.
~ Yes. ~ Yes.
~ Yes.

~ It was fine first thing. Obviously, anything
to with Syncopatico's always a bit...
~ Yeah.

~ But at some point I seem to have got
all your events in my SyncopaticCal.
~ Yeah, no, crap.

Meanwhile, in his new official capacity
as Assistant to the Head of

Values, Will is already making a big
difference to Ian's working life.

~ In the meantime I don't know
where my events have gone.
~ Yeah.

~ They've disappeared.
~ Yeah, no, they're all here.
~ What?
~ Yeah, no, it does that.

Keen to learn, he's passed the first
half of the crucial SyncopatiShare

module of his BBC Syncopatico induction
course with flying colours.

But until he's done the second
half, he's unable to stop his new

SyncopatiPad shaking hands
automatically with other devices
that may stray into its sights.

~ I know it's not your fault, Will.
~ Yeah.
~ Although now I think about it I'm not sure.
~ Yeah, I know, crap.

~ But this is just...
~ Yeah, no, cool, like, why
don't you just have mine?

~ What?
~ I'll have yours till,
like, something happens.
~ Right, but...

~ I've only just thought of that.
~ Yes, I can tell.

But even though he's still new
to some of the responsibilities

of a personal assistant, Will is
not afraid of having big ideas.

~ No, I don't think... What if
this starts shaking hands with
other tablets all over the place?
~ Yeah.

~ Oh, hang on, what the hell's this?
~ What?

~ You've got some of Simon Harwood's stuff.
~ Yeah.

I'm sorry, Will, this, I can't...
I mean this is really....

Cos, like, I had to go into Simon
Harwood's office earlier.

~ I was looking for Izzy and, like,
it shook hands with him too.
~ Yes.

~ And then it stopped again when I went.
~ Mm.

Yeah, I don't know, yeah, mental.

No.

Like, it's actually really annoying?

So does this...? I mean, could I...? If I wanted
to, would I be able to print this out?

~ Yeah, no worries, yeah, cool.
~ So I just...

~ Yeah, no, we did SyncopatiPrint last week.
~ You sure about this, Will?

Like, you can print to any printer anywhere
in the building no matter where you are.

~ Cos I wouldn't necessarily
want anyone else to...
~ Yeah, no, cool.

~ OK, done. Cool.
~ Great.

Yeah, no worries.

~ So where's it printing?
~ Yeah, no, cos... Say again?

~ Which printer's it printing at?
~ Yeah, no, it doesn't tell you that.

~ It doesn't tell you?
~ Like, it could be any printer
anywhere in the building.

~ Right.
~ Yeah, no, it's pretty cool.
~ Yes.

~ Sorry, Anna.
~ Jack.
~ Lucy's here if you're ready.
~ Yes, no, she can come in.

~ Here she is.
~ Right, yes. Hi, Anna.
~ Yes, you can sit down.

Meanwhile, Lucy Freeman
has made a big decision

and has come to have a
conversation with new Director

of Better, Anna Rampton, no matter
how difficult that's going to be.

So, you're probably wondering
why I wanted to see you.

Yes, I mean, well, it was me
that asked to see you, actually.

~ OK, well...
~ Oh, congratulations, by the way.
~ Yes.

~ Very exciting.
~ Yes, exactly.

Yes, no, I thought I'd better
come and see you, really, now,

before things, cos I know you were
keen for me help David with...

Anna has asked her to work alongside
David Wilkes on One Big Family,

but Lucy has decided that it might be a better
idea for her to leave the BBC instead.

I've been doing some thinking,
quite a lot of thinking, actually,

~ and what I've... It's
a big thing, but I've...
~ OK, no.

~ Sorry, Anna, I haven't...
~ No, that's not what I
want to talk to you about.
~ No.

~ I wanted to talk to YOU.
~ But the fact remains it's
not what I want to talk about.

~ The fact is, I wanted to ask you something.
~ Yes, but...

I don't know how much you know
about the idea behind BBC Better.

Right, well... I mean, I'm aware of
it, obviously. I've heard about it,
but beyond that I'm not really...

No. One of the things
I'm passionate about is

the idea of inclusivity as a corps
value right across the BBC.

~ Right.
~ Yes. You may know that already.
~ No, I didn't.

~ As you say, it's very exciting.
~ Well, I mean that's...

~ I'm committed to the idea of creating
a new Head of Inclusivity.
~ Right, are you?

And I wanted to ask you how you'd
feel about applying for that post.

~ Me?
~ Yes exactly, yes.
~ Right.
~ Yes.

Take your time.

Meanwhile Ian is one of many
people in New Broadcasting House

who have been brought closer together
by the BBC's cutting edge

new SyncopatiPrint technology.

Neil, hi.

Right...

When?

~ We're talking live here.
~ Yes, no, I know.
~ Yeah, live, yeah.

No, brilliant, Neil, let's
do the show right here.

Media reaction to the
announcement of Newsnight anchor

Evan Davis's forthcoming role
in Strictly Come Dancing

has been both extensive
and universally negative.

And with the BBC's unparalleled
reputation for impartiality

to maintain, it's crucial
that coverage of the story

on its own news channels is more
negative than anyone else's.

~ Do we really have to do this?
~ Yeah, we do, yeah.
~ I know.

Welcome to my world.

With that in mind, Ian
has been put forward to be

interviewed about the issue live on
tonight's six o'clock news bulletin.

~ I'll do this if absolutely no-one else will.
~ Brilliant.

But really I have to say,
I'm not really sure why me.

You guys know how you
want to play this,

but people like the idea
of the BBC having values.

~ Yeah, bollocks, Simon.
~ Brilliant. Also, like Tony
says, if you sign Ronaldo,

~ you don't leave him on the
bench, you get him on the pitch.
~ Right.

~ Yeah, plus no-one else will do it.
~ No.

Yes, no, brilliant, guys.
Brilliant, brilliant.

With the decision made, for Ian,
by far the most significant aspect

of being on the six o'clock news is
that it's now nine minutes to six.

~ Oh, Ian, yes, hi.
~ Anna, hi.
~ I wanted to talk to you.

~ I'm actually just on way down...
~ I'm going to say something about
Values at the Better Launch.

~ OK, great. As I say, I'm just...
~ The fact is it's important.

~ Yes, no, fine by me, Anna,
we should talk about it.
~ Yes, exactly.

~ This is live, so...
~ I need to know what you had in mind.

~ What? Yes. What I had in mind?
~ Yes. You're Head of Values.
~ Anna, I can't really...
~ OK, fine.

~ If you want to e-mail something to
Jack by tomorrow I'll see what I can do.
~ Right.
~ Yes.

~ Anna, I've really got to go.
~ Yes, OK, good.

By six o'clock, it's time
for the six o'clock news.

The BBC is facing mounting
criticism tonight

after it announced that Evan Davis,
the presenter of Newsnight,

is to appear as a contestant
in the next series

of the BBC One entertainment
show, Strictly Come Dancing.

~ Ian, hi. ~ Hi.
~ Ben. ~ Yes, hello, yes.
~ Thanks very much for doing this.

~ No, it's my pleasure.
~ Are you warm enough?
~ Yes, no...

~ We've got another coat here...
~ No, I'm fine, thanks.
~ OK.

~ 90 seconds tops, so it should
be pretty straightforward.
~ Yes, good.
~ Great.

Our Media Correspondent
is Benedict Cartwright

is outside New Broadcasting
House for us now.

Ben, this is news that the BBC could
presumably do without right now?

Sophie, it is, Sophie, yes.

The issues for the BBC around this
are many and complex of course,

but the main area of controversy

seems to be around
whether the presenter

of the its most high profile
current affairs programme

has any business appearing in what's
often described as a famously naff,

if popular light entertainment
show, and if so...

If a live interview is an
unexpected challenge for Ian,

for newly-promoted Will Humphries

it's a chance to become personal
assistant to someone on television.

With me now is Ian Fletcher, the
BBC's so-called Head of Values,

whose job it is, one imagines anyway,

to keep a watching brief on
standards right across this vast,

~ sprawling and some might say
deeply troubled organisation.
~ Yes, hello.

Ian Fletcher, this is a bit of
an own goal for you, isn't it?

~ Well, no...
~ Another example of both you and the BBC

being, frankly, a bit useless.

That's not something
I can accept, Ben,

and it's not a picture
of the BBC I recognise.

With the greatest respect though,

why on earth should we trust someone like
you on this, or indeed on anything at all?

No, at the heart of this
is something very important,

it's a fact that no-one
over the age of 40

or above the weight
of 17-and-a-half stone

has ever won Strictly Come Dancing.

And at a time when body stereotyping

is such a big issue
for so many people,

we think that's something
worth reporting on.

~ We're not going to apologise for that.
~ Well, Ian Fletcher, thank you.

Well Sophie, there you have it,
there we have the official view,

the view, if you like, from
within the highly secretive,

some might say frankly
incomprehensible building behind me.

Whether anyone will believe
a single word of it

is a different matter, of course.

Something the coming days and weeks
will no doubt tell us. Sophie.

Ben, thank you.

And you can see more on that
story in a special report

on Newsnight with Evan Davis
at 10:30 on BBC Two tonight.

~ Thanks, Ian, that was great.
~ Yes, thanks.

Hey.

Hi.

How's it going?

~ Good, yes, great.
~ Good.
~ How's it going with you?

~ Oh, you know. Pretty busy, really.
~ Yes.

~ You know we're doing this
BBC Better launch at Pinewood?
~ Yes, I know.

~ Looks like I'm basically going to end
up writing Anna's speech for her, so...
~ Right, yes.

~ .. kind of interesting thing to do.
~ 'Ground floor.'
~ Yes, mm.

'Doors opening.'

~ No, cos it did occur to me...
~ What did?

So, Anna wants Lucy Freeman to do
like this Head of Inclusivity thing.

~ Head of Inclusivity?
~ Yeah.
~ I didn't even know there was...

~ There is now, or going to be,
keep up. She's desperate to announce
it at the Better launch.
~ Right. So?

It occurred to me, if Lucy does it,
there will probably be a development
role in entertainment to fill.

OK, I don't need your
bloody help Jack, OK?

~ Right OK, Christ.
~ Thank you.
~ Cool, whatever.
~ I'm quite capable of running
my own life, thank you.

~ I won't mention anything to Anna or anyone.
~ Please don't.
~ I won't.

~ Yes.
~ No, any time.
~ Thank you.
~ Great.

~ Hi, Lucy.
~ Hi. Are you busy?

No, come on in.

Actually, I'm just on may way out
I think, however you want take that.

Have you got time for a quick drink?

~ A drink?
~ It doesn't matter if not.

It's like it's all so, I went
in there to say I was leaving.

~ I actually couldn't believe it.
~ No.

~ Like she thought I was just going to decide.
~ Well...

.. like she wanted me to
say yes there and then.

~ Next thing you know she'll ask for 200 words
on inclusivity for her speech at this...
~ She did, yes.

~ Right, did she really?
~ Yes, whether I wanted it or not.

Right, well, I mean,
Anna's not stupid.

Isn't she? I can't tell.

One thing about people like Anna
is they're brilliant at surrounding
themselves with good people

and I suspect she knows you're good,

so it's a question of what
you want to do about that.

~ The truth is, the ridiculous thing, I don't
really know what inclusivity actually is.
~ No.

Well, this would be a hell
of a way of finding out.

Another day at New Broadcasting House

and after all the controversy,

Newsnight anchor Evan Davis is
discovering that the transition

from Current Affairs
to Light Entertainment

might not be quite as
seamless as he thought.

OK, this is kind of where
we are at the moment.

I mean, it's not bad but
I mean frankly, I mean,

you will know more about how you
want to see this than I do, but,

~ is it just me or is it just a bit...
~ Yes.

.. a bit tired, a bit top-down,
all a bit, I don't know, a bit...

~ Yes.
~ Sure.
~ .. a bit last year, you know?

~ No, sure.
~ Yes, exactly, yes.

Meanwhile, inside,

Director of Strategic
Governance, Simon Harwood,

has convened an open meeting

to introduce the idea
of a new and better

BBC senior management structure

to an audience of those who
don't already know about it.

Listen, you guys will know how you
want to see this but the thinking is

~ if this isn't who we are, then who are we?
~ What?

~ Don't know, God knows. Give up.
~ Yes, no, brilliant. Brilliant, Neil.

With so much change afoot,

Simon has been working
hard behind the scenes

to ensure that the outcome
is as strategic

as it possibly can be
for everyone around him.

Cos it did occur to me, not
being stupid or anything

but I am going to ask this,

what's happening with
the Head of Output now?

~ Yes, no brilliant.
~ If Anna's Director of Better?

~ Brilliant. It's exciting, isn't it?
~ Is it? Yes, no, good question, Tracey.
~ Yes.

No, listen, I guess we'll have to
wait and see how that all pans out.

Right.

~ Hey, don't look at me.
~ Oh, right. OK.

~ Brilliant.
~ All hail.

~ Shut up.
~ Fine.

Sorry, am I too late, guys?

~ No.
~ Lovely.

No, if you're sure you
can be bothered with this.

Oh, no, I just thought while I'm
tackling my crayfish and quinoa...

~ Fuck's sake.
~ Brilliant.

All righty. So that's
the bad old days.

So, everyone, get an eyeful of this.

~ Yes?
~ Yes?
~ Yep.

~ Right.
~ Oh, right.
~ Great.

~ Anyone spot the difference?
~ No, sure.

Yeah, this one doesn't make sense.

As well as being conceived
horizontally rather than

vertically, the new
senior-management structure puts

the new director of Better very
much at the centre of things,

freeing up other posts around it

to play radically more
independent roles.

.. of course, this whole sort
of top-down thing, gone.

~ Yes.
~ At a stroke.
~ No, sure.
~ Hurrah.

And if there's one thing we
know about Tony, it's just how

much of a lateral
kind of a guy he is.

~ Yes.
~ Yeah, no, sure.
~ Yes.

Although, at the risk of upsetting
anyone's sense of balance, Simon,

if you turn this on its side, it's
almost exactly the same as it

was when it was top-down.

~ Really?
~ I've got to say I thought that too.
~ Really? ~ Yeah.
~ Genius.

I mean, I know how hard you've
worked on this, Simon...

~ Oh, now, pish.
~ .. together with Ben and Jerry...
~ Tish.
~ Tosh.

~ .. and I know for a fact
how grateful Tony is too.
~ Right.

But when we finally sat
down to go through it all,

we did end up wondering
whether there might not be

a way of reimagining this
whole thing altogether.

~ Brilliant.
~ Yes, cos I'm not being
funny or anything, Ian,

but I've got to say,
speaking personally,

I am struggling with this.

I mean, I don't know if you want
to look at this now, Simon, or if...

~ Oh, yes, no, of course, brilliant, yes.
~ No.

Cos, for my sins, I said
I'd have a go at it

and this is just one that he
did seem to be quite keen on.

Do you want...?

No, it's fine, actually Will's just
done his SyncopatiPoint module,

and he set this thing up for me.

You can unplug all your leads.

So...

~ OK.
~ Blimey.

Oh, right, no, hang on that's...

~ Right, OK.
~ Oh, my God.
~ OK, no.

So we ended up calling this
one the Creative Network Model

but you could call
it whatever you like.

So, what? This would be more
of a circle, Ian, would it?

Well, for what it's worth,
what Tony liked about this is

the idea of everyone feeding in
equally around a common purpose.

~ No, I'm sorry.
~ Guys, I've got to say, I prefer this.

Ideas fizzing in all
directions, into the centre,

~ out again, around a sort of creative hub.
~ Brilliant.

It reminds me of Television Centre
before we knocked it down or

whatever we've done now.

Yes, I mean, it's interesting,
isn't it? His thing was -

and I hadn't really
thought about this -

but, in a way, it does feel more
like a BBC sort of thing somehow

and, maybe, it just might be
more liberating for all of us.

~ No, brilliant, Ian.
~ Genius.
~ Yeah, no, sure.

Yeah, it's bloody brilliant.

Meanwhile, it's a number
of weeks later

and the concept of BBC Better
is finally launching itself

at the majorly iconic venue
of Britain's Pinewood Studios,

home of Pinewood Studios.

No, back. No, go back.

This is a big night for the BBC

and in the famous John Barry
screening room, every last detail

has got to be checked with
nothing left to chance.

So we've got Janet Street-Porter
next to Justin Welby.

~ Sure.
~ Is that right?
~ No, sure.

~ No, back, further back.
~ Janet loves the Kaiser Chiefs.

~ Justin Welby's the Archbishop of Canterbury.
~ Sure.

Yes, so is that right?

No, sure, so you've got
all the big enchiladas

~ right here in the front row.
~ Right, OK, fine.

~ Jack.
~ Yep.
~ This is wrong, I don't recognise this.

~ What?
~ No, sure.
~ This is not what I wrote.

~ No.
~ Is it?
~ No. No, it's not.

OK, so we should maybe
talk about this.

This is... Where's all
this crap come from?

~ No, sure, we just... tweaked it a bit.
~ OK, no.

~ You tweaked it?
~ I don't want this.
~ Like, punched it up a little.

~ The... OK, I'm sorry, no.
~ You punched it up?

~ Sure.
~ I don't want it.

~ Hang on, what else have you done to it?
~ Excuse me?
~ I don't want this.

~ How many other changes are there?
~ No, sure, OK.
~ No.

~ Like, we just went through it, that's all.
~ No.

~ I've been...
~ I don't want this.

We've been working on this
speech for, like, weeks.

~ OK, and now you've finally
got something, OK?
~ What?

You are so going to kill here, girl.

Not... No, I don't want
this. I don't want it.

I don't want it.

Meanwhile, outside the screening
room, the great and the good are

gathering in force,

ready and waiting to have
their opinions formed.

For Lucy Freeman, this is a
chance to try to get used to

the idea of being the BBC's
new head of Inclusivity,

whilst for Tracey Pritchard,
it's a chance to meet TV's

go-to classical talking woman,
Professor Mary Beard, in the flesh.

I'm not a classical scholar or anything,
obviously, although I have

actually been to Greece a number
of times but, speaking personally

as a woman, I've got to say this,
I am a big admirer of your work.

Because before you, I mean,
let's be honest about this,

it was all either
men or Simon Schama.

~ Brilliant.
~ Right, well...

Cos the way I see it, not
being funny or anything

but, the truth is, we can't
all be Lucy Worsley, can we?

~ Yes, would you...?
~ Lovely Lucy.
~ Can I get you another...?

~ Izzy.
~ Very sorry to interrupt.
~ No, that's fine.

It's just, er, well, Anna has
locked herself in the toilet.

~ Oh, no.
~ All right, OK.

~ In the toilet?
~ Oh.

~ Yes, and she won't come out.
~ Right, OK.

~ Oh, bloody great.
~ I think, to begin with, she
went in there for a moment.

~ Right.
~ Just to have a bit of a think.
~ Yes.

But now's she dropped her
contact lens down the sink

~ and she's refusing to come out.
~ Oh, right.
~ Oh, my God.

What the hell I'm supposed
to do about this, God knows.

~ I had to tell someone.
~ Great.
~ You're really good at this stuff, Ian.

~ Yes.
~ Yes, you are, Ian, yes.
~ What? Talking Anna Rampton out of toilets?

Anyway, I didn't know
what else to do.

Plus we can make the Autocue,
like, really big.

In the context of the
launch of BBC Better

and with the audience ready to go in,

it's clearly not such a great thing

that the new director of Better
has locked herself in the toilet.

Anna?

Yes, hello, Anna? We're all here now,

Ian's here, it's lovely out here.

Look, just say something,
you stupid bitch.

OK, could everyone shut up
a minute? This isn't helping.

(I know what's happened.)

(She has her glasses, she
has them wherever she goes)

~ (but she won't wear them, you know...)
~ (Right.)
~ (No.)
~ (OK.)

(Especially not at this.)

~ (No, she won't.)
~ (No.)
~ No, sure, I totally get that.

~ I know, nightmare.
~ I'm like, "Duh."

~ You've tried everything else?
~ Trust me, I know her,

she is never coming out of there now.

~ Right, OK, well...
~ Good luck.
~ Yes, thanks.

Anna, it's Ian.

Just to say, if you need anything,

if there's anything
I can help you with...

Cos I'm not sure quite
what I mean by this

but I'm sure it's all basically OK.

Right. OK.

Hi.

How are you?

The fact is, I can't do this.

Well, I'm sure you can.

No-one knows about this
in there, by the way.

They're all fine with their wine
and olive thingies, you know,

is it tapenade?

Anyway, they're perfectly happy
braying at each other about

God knows what, so it's all...

We've got time, you
can just... You know,

if you want to talk or just
catch your breath, it's fine.

Cos I think they're basically across
the Autocue thing now so...

As far as I can gather, anyway.

I mean, the other thing to say -
and I probably shouldn't say this,

so don't take it the wrong way -

I mean, here we are, we all
get very... But in the end,

in the big scheme of things, none
of this really matters that much.

I mean, not really, does it?

I don't mean... I just...
I sometimes find that helps.

Helps me, anyway, when...

Yes, so...

The other thing - and for God's sake,
don't take this the wrong way

either - is as far as the
whole glasses thing goes,

I have to say, I mean, they
certainly do it for me.

But, as I say, that's not...

Ah, right.

Sorry, lip gloss, otherwise
I'd do it properly.

~ Right.
~ Yes.
~ Right.

Right, good, OK.