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Adult Adam: If you were a girl
growing up in the '80s,
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00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:06,932
the pajama party was a night
of epic adventure.
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00:00:06,983 --> 00:00:08,284
Okay, listen up.
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00:00:08,335 --> 00:00:10,734
This next decision is,
like, super important.
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00:00:10,759 --> 00:00:12,438
Okay. Do we watch "Adventures
In Babysitting,"
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00:00:12,472 --> 00:00:14,840
"Pretty In Pink," or "Troop Beverly Hills"?
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Together: "Troop Beverly Hills"!
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I was hoping you'd say that!
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00:00:18,131 --> 00:00:20,665
Shelley Long has a black belt in shopping!
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It's very funny to me.
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[Laughs] Oh, my god. This is so fun.
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I love you all so much!
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00:00:25,289 --> 00:00:26,873
[All squeal]
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00:00:26,924 --> 00:00:28,441
♪Come on down ♪
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00:00:28,475 --> 00:00:30,243
♪it's cookie time ♪
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00:00:30,277 --> 00:00:32,161
All: ♪it's cookie time ♪
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Adult Adam: "Troop Beverly Hills"
was the ultimate girl cult movie.
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00:00:35,115 --> 00:00:37,884
It had it all... songs,
shopping, and Shelley Long.
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00:00:37,918 --> 00:00:39,902
♪ It's cookie time ♪
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00:00:39,936 --> 00:00:41,487
♪ it's cookie time ♪
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My mom loved it, too,
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00:00:42,739 --> 00:00:44,423
because the girls were still young enough
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00:00:44,458 --> 00:00:45,608
to let her join the troop.
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00:00:45,642 --> 00:00:47,710
And even though Erica and her gal pals
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00:00:47,744 --> 00:00:49,078
got older and cooler,
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00:00:49,112 --> 00:00:51,347
they never left their favorite
tradition behind.
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00:00:51,349 --> 00:00:53,949
Just heard Mark McGonagle's throwing
a rager Saturday night.
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00:00:53,951 --> 00:00:55,484
He lets the girls do keg stands first.
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He's such a gentleman.
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00:00:56,721 --> 00:00:59,088
Or we do our annual pajama
party, Make s'Mores,
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00:00:59,122 --> 00:01:01,457
and recite every word
of "Troop Beverly Hills."
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Ugh, so lame.
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You know you're dying to do it.
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I am. Yay!
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00:01:04,661 --> 00:01:05,995
Oh, my god, this is gonna be so fun!
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00:01:05,997 --> 00:01:08,364
Oh, my god, this is gonna be so fun!
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00:01:08,398 --> 00:01:10,249
No! Take off the mom pajamas
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and stop doing what you're doing.
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00:01:12,018 --> 00:01:13,836
Please let me be your Shelley Long!
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We'll call it "Troop Beverly,"
just like in the old days.
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That's when we were too young
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to know how unbearably annoying you were.
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No offense taken. But come on.
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00:01:21,711 --> 00:01:24,346
Your pajama parties
are the only reminder I have
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of when you were happy, tiny girls
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00:01:26,366 --> 00:01:28,500
and not godforsaken teenage monsters.
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Look at me, Mom!
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There is no troop Beverly anymore.
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End of story.
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Dude, did you hear that?
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00:01:35,125 --> 00:01:36,959
Your sister's having her hot friends over
52
00:01:36,993 --> 00:01:37,926
for a lingerie party.
53
00:01:37,961 --> 00:01:39,645
Pretty sure I heard "pajama".
54
00:01:39,679 --> 00:01:41,230
Bet they're gonna have pillow fights,
55
00:01:41,247 --> 00:01:43,332
tickle fights, and other
fights we can't even imagine!
56
00:01:43,334 --> 00:01:45,100
Easy, Dave Kim. That's my sister.
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We can hide your video camera
when they're having their party.
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00:01:48,038 --> 00:01:49,605
Yes! Oh, my god!
59
00:01:49,639 --> 00:01:51,006
Again, that's my sister.
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00:01:51,057 --> 00:01:53,776
Dude, this is our one chance
to peek behind the curtain
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00:01:53,810 --> 00:01:55,260
and gain insight into young womanhood.
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00:01:55,311 --> 00:01:57,663
Well, on one hand,
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it's an unforgivable invasion of privacy.
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00:02:00,133 --> 00:02:04,253
O- the other hand, girls
are a perplexing mystery,
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00:02:04,287 --> 00:02:06,889
and filming them for education purposes
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00:02:06,891 --> 00:02:09,324
could provide some helpful insight.
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00:02:09,359 --> 00:02:10,709
Let's do it!
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00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:11,426
Yes!
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Aw, man!
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We're gonna be the coolest guys in school!
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We were not.
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00:02:18,585 --> 00:02:20,402
♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪
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♪ but nonetheless, I feel the need to say ♪
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Synced and corrected by Nest0r
www.addic7ed.com
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♪ I don't know the future ♪
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♪ but the past keeps getting
clearer every day ♪
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It was November 11th, 1980-something,
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and Barry and Pops just discovered
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Willow Grove mall had a new store.
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Holy crap, puppies!
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They're so Fluffy and adorable!
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They're like the kittens of dogs!
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00:02:44,213 --> 00:02:47,514
Look! That one's falling
asleep while standing up.
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I've done that.
85
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Oh, not so fast.
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00:02:50,468 --> 00:02:52,552
Look, I don't want
to sound like your father,
87
00:02:52,554 --> 00:02:53,887
but you can't go in there.
88
00:02:53,938 --> 00:02:55,522
You're deathly allergic to dogs.
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00:02:55,556 --> 00:02:57,140
Ugh! Why?!
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00:02:57,191 --> 00:02:58,779
I know, it's rough.
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00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:02,562
But I'll be at your side in solidarity.
92
00:03:02,613 --> 00:03:04,064
Oooh... .
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00:03:04,115 --> 00:03:06,066
That fuzzy one just sneezed.
94
00:03:06,068 --> 00:03:07,567
I'll see you in 10.
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00:03:07,569 --> 00:03:09,402
My brother's violent dog allergy
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00:03:09,453 --> 00:03:11,905
had always been a source
of great frustration.
97
00:03:11,956 --> 00:03:14,457
But that day, the lure
of cute, cuddly puppies
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00:03:14,492 --> 00:03:16,493
was too much for Barry.
99
00:03:16,544 --> 00:03:18,411
There's nothing to worry about.
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00:03:18,413 --> 00:03:20,714
This thin mesh barrier will protect me.
101
00:03:20,748 --> 00:03:23,750
But as Barry stared
down into that pit of adorableness,
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00:03:23,801 --> 00:03:26,553
he lost his balance
and tumbled into furry danger.
103
00:03:26,587 --> 00:03:29,089
Oh, god, no! Not puppies!
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00:03:29,091 --> 00:03:30,757
Hold your breath, Barry!
105
00:03:30,759 --> 00:03:32,225
I'm gonna... I'm gonna die!
106
00:03:32,259 --> 00:03:34,010
They're so cute, but deadly!
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00:03:34,095 --> 00:03:35,261
They're gonna kill me!
108
00:03:35,263 --> 00:03:38,848
Uh... Kiddo, y-you seem totally fine.
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You're right. I am!
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00:03:41,102 --> 00:03:44,104
Get on in here, you! I'm the puppy king!
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00:03:45,689 --> 00:03:48,108
Dad! You won't believe it.
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00:03:48,110 --> 00:03:50,910
I'm alive! I'm actually alive!
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00:03:50,945 --> 00:03:51,778
Ask your mother.
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00:03:51,829 --> 00:03:53,329
I spent the entire afternoon
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in a puppy pit cheating death.
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00:03:55,032 --> 00:03:56,449
You always said the reason
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00:03:56,500 --> 00:03:58,334
we can't get a dog is 'cause of me.
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Forget what happened in the puppy pit.
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00:04:00,504 --> 00:04:01,621
That was a fluke.
120
00:04:01,623 --> 00:04:03,790
You are crazy allergic to dogs. Wrong!
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00:04:03,792 --> 00:04:05,592
My insanely strong immune system
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00:04:05,626 --> 00:04:06,876
has grown so powerful
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00:04:06,927 --> 00:04:09,262
that I'm no longer allergic
to anything on earth.
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00:04:09,296 --> 00:04:11,047
No. Stop. Don't think that.
125
00:04:11,098 --> 00:04:12,348
It's the truth!
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00:04:12,383 --> 00:04:13,933
I'll go outside right now
and roll in poison oak.
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00:04:13,968 --> 00:04:14,884
You'll see.
128
00:04:14,935 --> 00:04:16,352
I made it up, okay?
129
00:04:16,387 --> 00:04:18,521
You're not allergic to dogs. What?!
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00:04:18,555 --> 00:04:21,357
The only reason I said
that is because when you were a kid,
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you asked for one every damn day!
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00:04:23,977 --> 00:04:25,228
Do you realize you've denied me
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00:04:25,279 --> 00:04:26,779
the sidekick I've always longed for?
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00:04:26,814 --> 00:04:27,814
I'm okay with that.
135
00:04:27,865 --> 00:04:28,981
Do you know how many times
136
00:04:29,032 --> 00:04:30,616
I had to play Frisbee by myself?
137
00:04:30,651 --> 00:04:32,485
How many times I got caught in a well?
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00:04:32,487 --> 00:04:33,986
Look, I got enough ungrateful kids
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around here to take care of.
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00:04:35,406 --> 00:04:36,456
The last thing I need
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00:04:36,490 --> 00:04:38,157
is an ungrateful animal to take care of.
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00:04:38,159 --> 00:04:39,158
Get me a dog. No.
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00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:40,376
Get me a dog! No!
144
00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:42,295
I'm gonna keep saying it until I get
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00:04:42,329 --> 00:04:43,996
the four-legged friend I deserve!
146
00:04:44,047 --> 00:04:44,964
Give me a dog!
147
00:04:44,998 --> 00:04:45,882
No! Stop asking.
148
00:04:45,916 --> 00:04:47,133
It's not gonna happen.
149
00:04:47,167 --> 00:04:48,167
Give me a dog. No.
150
00:04:48,202 --> 00:04:48,935
Give me a dog. No.
151
00:04:48,969 --> 00:04:49,735
Give me a dog. No.
152
00:04:49,770 --> 00:04:50,736
Give me a dog. No.
153
00:04:50,771 --> 00:04:51,637
Give me a dog. No.
154
00:04:51,672 --> 00:04:52,371
Give me a dog. No.
155
00:04:52,373 --> 00:04:53,339
Give me a dog. No.
156
00:04:53,373 --> 00:04:54,140
Give me a dog. No.
157
00:04:54,174 --> 00:04:55,107
Give me a dog. No.
158
00:04:55,142 --> 00:04:55,825
Give me a dog. No.
159
00:04:55,859 --> 00:04:56,876
Give me a dog. No.
160
00:04:56,910 --> 00:04:57,643
Give me a dog. No.
161
00:04:57,678 --> 00:04:58,978
Give me a dog. No.
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00:04:59,012 --> 00:05:01,781
Give me a dog. Fine!
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00:05:01,783 --> 00:05:04,383
But if I say yes, promise
me you'll take care of it.
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00:05:04,434 --> 00:05:05,484
It's your dog.
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00:05:05,519 --> 00:05:06,569
Yes!
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00:05:06,603 --> 00:05:08,287
Now I'm not the only one in the house
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00:05:08,289 --> 00:05:10,089
who has to take his pill in cheese!
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00:05:10,107 --> 00:05:12,992
While Barry finally got
his wish for a dog,
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00:05:13,043 --> 00:05:15,861
me and my crew were
getting our greatest wish.
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00:05:15,896 --> 00:05:18,230
Thanks to cutting-edge VHS technology,
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00:05:18,232 --> 00:05:20,716
we would learn the secrets of womanhood.
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00:05:23,353 --> 00:05:27,506
Okay. I just snuck a cable
from the bedroom to the basement.
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00:05:27,541 --> 00:05:29,358
Fingers crossed, boys.
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00:05:31,077 --> 00:05:32,127
Oh! Yes!
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00:05:32,162 --> 00:05:34,413
[Cheering]
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00:05:34,447 --> 00:05:36,565
Okay, enough! Silence!
177
00:05:36,616 --> 00:05:38,834
Dave Kim needs to focus.
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00:05:41,688 --> 00:05:42,888
It's happening.
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00:05:42,923 --> 00:05:45,274
Today we learn the secrets of womanhood.
180
00:05:45,308 --> 00:05:46,775
This is the best moment of my life.
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00:05:46,826 --> 00:05:48,043
I love you guys.
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00:05:48,078 --> 00:05:49,595
♪We're the girls from Beverly Hills ♪
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00:05:49,629 --> 00:05:51,180
♪1, 2, 3, 4 ♪
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♪shopping is our greatest skill ♪
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00:05:52,949 --> 00:05:54,166
[Laughter]
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00:05:54,217 --> 00:05:55,768
What the hell? They're just
watching a dumb movie.
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00:05:55,770 --> 00:05:57,820
Come of age already, damn it!
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00:05:57,854 --> 00:05:59,254
Hit each other with pillows!
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00:05:59,289 --> 00:06:02,191
Okay, who wants pizza ro... oh, my god!
190
00:06:02,225 --> 00:06:03,942
What is happening here?!
191
00:06:03,944 --> 00:06:04,877
[Gasps]
192
00:06:04,911 --> 00:06:06,545
Okay, I can totally explain this.
193
00:06:06,579 --> 00:06:07,479
Run!
194
00:06:07,514 --> 00:06:09,782
You're grounded, Adam!
195
00:06:09,816 --> 00:06:11,750
And I'm calling your mothers!
196
00:06:11,785 --> 00:06:13,519
Girl: Oooh!
197
00:06:13,553 --> 00:06:15,621
Pbht! [Laughter]
198
00:06:15,655 --> 00:06:16,922
Adult Adam: In that moment,
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00:06:16,956 --> 00:06:18,624
my mother realized she had found a way
200
00:06:18,675 --> 00:06:20,692
into Erica's pajama
party, and into her life.
201
00:06:20,727 --> 00:06:22,411
Oooh...
202
00:06:22,462 --> 00:06:23,929
I'll just watch for a little bit.
203
00:06:23,963 --> 00:06:25,797
And she couldn't resist.
204
00:06:25,799 --> 00:06:28,417
Should I do a loose crimp
or a tighter, more intense one?
205
00:06:28,451 --> 00:06:29,468
Tight crimp. Tight crimp.
206
00:06:29,502 --> 00:06:30,185
Loose.
207
00:06:30,220 --> 00:06:31,436
Yeah, no, wh-whatever.
208
00:06:31,471 --> 00:06:32,454
Loose is good.
209
00:06:32,488 --> 00:06:33,538
Adult Adam:That night,
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00:06:33,540 --> 00:06:34,806
my mom had the time of her life
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00:06:34,841 --> 00:06:36,408
being a secret member of Erica's troop.
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00:06:36,442 --> 00:06:37,526
... three different girls,
213
00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:38,543
and then he broke up with Heather.
214
00:06:38,578 --> 00:06:39,795
Heather G. or Heather S.?
215
00:06:39,846 --> 00:06:41,280
Hello, principal ball.
216
00:06:41,314 --> 00:06:42,981
This is your butt doctor calling.
217
00:06:43,032 --> 00:06:46,568
We found a problem.
Your head was up there.
218
00:06:46,603 --> 00:06:47,653
[Laughs]
219
00:06:47,687 --> 00:06:49,221
Tell him he's bald!
220
00:06:49,255 --> 00:06:51,056
So, if you add a white
line across the top,
221
00:06:51,090 --> 00:06:52,307
it's a French manicure.
222
00:06:52,358 --> 00:06:54,960
Well, don't I just look like Zsa Zsa Gábor.
223
00:06:54,994 --> 00:06:56,261
Shi-shi froufrou.
224
00:06:56,295 --> 00:06:58,013
Um... Erica?
225
00:06:58,064 --> 00:07:00,165
What's that?
226
00:07:00,199 --> 00:07:02,601
Oh [Bleep]
227
00:07:02,603 --> 00:07:03,819
Someone's dead!
228
00:07:06,712 --> 00:07:08,530
Ow. Fudgy, fudgy, fudge!
229
00:07:08,564 --> 00:07:10,081
Fudgy, fudge...
230
00:07:10,116 --> 00:07:13,151
Are you spying on our pajama party?!
231
00:07:13,186 --> 00:07:14,486
Before you say anything, I got to know,
232
00:07:14,488 --> 00:07:15,587
is it Heather G. or Heather S.?
233
00:07:15,621 --> 00:07:17,939
I don't even know what to say!
234
00:07:17,974 --> 00:07:20,709
You have never, ever stooped so low!
235
00:07:20,743 --> 00:07:23,395
I have. You just haven't caught me.
236
00:07:23,429 --> 00:07:25,096
♪
237
00:07:25,098 --> 00:07:26,281
Shut up and listen.
238
00:07:26,332 --> 00:07:28,666
I've narrowed down the exact breed of dog
239
00:07:28,718 --> 00:07:31,269
that best matches
my personality and lifestyle.
240
00:07:31,271 --> 00:07:32,237
Good morning to you, too.
241
00:07:32,239 --> 00:07:33,621
Our dog will either be the kind
242
00:07:33,656 --> 00:07:34,756
that looks like a sheep...
243
00:07:34,807 --> 00:07:36,461
- Sheepdog...
- A Cujo...
244
00:07:36,486 --> 00:07:38,326
- Book, not a breed...
- A McGruff...
245
00:07:38,377 --> 00:07:39,878
That's a cartoon crime dog.
246
00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:41,730
... or a bear crossed with a poodle.
247
00:07:41,764 --> 00:07:42,814
Not possible.
248
00:07:42,816 --> 00:07:44,399
Surprise, surprise!
249
00:07:44,450 --> 00:07:46,751
Look who's back from the dog pound!
250
00:07:46,753 --> 00:07:48,686
Whoa, whoa, wait! You got a dog without me?
251
00:07:48,737 --> 00:07:50,071
It better be a grizzly-poodle.
252
00:07:50,106 --> 00:07:52,207
Seriously. If it's not
a Grizzoodle, I don't want it.
253
00:07:52,258 --> 00:07:53,374
It's this thing.
254
00:07:53,425 --> 00:07:56,027
Erica, come see how sweet
and not awful I am!
255
00:07:56,061 --> 00:07:57,495
He's perfect!
256
00:07:57,529 --> 00:07:58,696
He is a she,
257
00:07:58,731 --> 00:08:00,515
and you owe me 8 bucks for shots and gas.
258
00:08:00,566 --> 00:08:02,100
Okay, okay. She needs a name.
259
00:08:02,151 --> 00:08:03,468
From this point on,
260
00:08:03,502 --> 00:08:05,753
this animal will only be
known as Jean Dog Van Damme.
261
00:08:05,788 --> 00:08:06,838
No, wait!
262
00:08:06,872 --> 00:08:08,189
Arnold Schwarzendogger.
263
00:08:08,223 --> 00:08:10,658
No, wait! Dogvester Stallone.
264
00:08:10,709 --> 00:08:11,876
No, wait!
265
00:08:11,927 --> 00:08:12,927
Lucky.
266
00:08:12,978 --> 00:08:14,862
Erica, come meet Lucky.
267
00:08:14,897 --> 00:08:17,298
It's a perfect name, 'cause she's so lucky
268
00:08:17,333 --> 00:08:20,318
to live with a family that's so
loving and forgiving.
269
00:08:20,352 --> 00:08:21,986
Getting a dog doesn't change my mind
270
00:08:22,021 --> 00:08:23,237
that you're a garbage mom.
271
00:08:23,288 --> 00:08:25,340
[Baby voice] But that doesn't mean
272
00:08:25,374 --> 00:08:28,606
I can't give this sweetie
Petey some lovey wubbies!
273
00:08:28,631 --> 00:08:29,360
Yes, I will!
274
00:08:29,395 --> 00:08:30,411
Yes, I will!
275
00:08:30,462 --> 00:08:31,913
Everyone's happy but me.
276
00:08:31,964 --> 00:08:33,431
Seems right.
277
00:08:33,433 --> 00:08:36,334
And so Barry finally
got his doggy sidekick.
278
00:08:36,368 --> 00:08:37,552
Or so he thought.
279
00:08:37,586 --> 00:08:39,003
There you are, girl!
280
00:08:39,054 --> 00:08:41,239
Come on! It's time to train!
281
00:08:41,273 --> 00:08:44,208
I thought we'd skip "sit"
and go to the important stuff,
282
00:08:44,210 --> 00:08:46,777
like how to grind some rails
and solve crimes.
283
00:08:46,812 --> 00:08:49,113
Will you be quiet? I'm
trying to watch the game.
284
00:08:49,147 --> 00:08:50,431
Just take the thing and go.
285
00:08:50,465 --> 00:08:51,766
[Barking]
286
00:08:51,817 --> 00:08:53,200
Whoa! Easy, girl.
287
00:08:53,235 --> 00:08:54,752
Maybe you should just
give her a little space.
288
00:08:54,786 --> 00:08:55,920
Please.
289
00:08:55,954 --> 00:08:57,471
Does that look like the face of a dog
290
00:08:57,522 --> 00:08:58,906
who doesn't utterly worship her master?
291
00:08:58,941 --> 00:09:00,124
[Growling]
292
00:09:00,158 --> 00:09:01,726
Yeah, yeah. He's a moron.
293
00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:02,760
Just settle down.
294
00:09:04,563 --> 00:09:06,714
Ooh. That's nice and toasty.
295
00:09:06,748 --> 00:09:08,766
You know, she's clearly tired.
296
00:09:08,768 --> 00:09:10,117
[Growling]
297
00:09:10,152 --> 00:09:11,285
Get some rest, lucky.
298
00:09:11,319 --> 00:09:13,371
I'll teach you how to karate chop a board
299
00:09:13,373 --> 00:09:14,555
with your paws tomorrow.
300
00:09:14,589 --> 00:09:16,474
♪
301
00:09:16,491 --> 00:09:18,242
Toasty.
302
00:09:18,244 --> 00:09:19,994
As my dad warmed up to the dog,
303
00:09:20,045 --> 00:09:21,462
Erica pulled out the big guns
304
00:09:21,496 --> 00:09:23,347
and gave my mom the cold shoulder.
305
00:09:23,398 --> 00:09:24,932
There's favorite daughter.
306
00:09:24,983 --> 00:09:26,417
How was school, squishy?
307
00:09:27,919 --> 00:09:30,087
Oh, now it's the silent treatment, huh?
308
00:09:30,089 --> 00:09:31,489
Fine.
309
00:09:31,523 --> 00:09:32,573
I'll wait for you to come around.
310
00:09:32,607 --> 00:09:33,657
[Drawer slams]
311
00:09:33,708 --> 00:09:35,993
Okay, look, I know what I did was wrong,
312
00:09:36,027 --> 00:09:37,144
but I had no choice.
313
00:09:37,179 --> 00:09:39,497
You completely cut me out of your life!
314
00:09:39,531 --> 00:09:41,966
Invasive spy cams are all I got.
315
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:42,967
[Drawer slams]
316
00:09:42,969 --> 00:09:44,385
Okay, this is ridiculous.
317
00:09:44,436 --> 00:09:45,636
You forgive me right now
318
00:09:45,638 --> 00:09:47,905
and let me hug your body
or you're grounded.
319
00:09:47,907 --> 00:09:50,074
Okay. Now I'll talk.
320
00:09:50,125 --> 00:09:53,027
If anyone here is grounded, it's you.
321
00:09:53,061 --> 00:09:55,079
You can't ground me, I'm your mother.
[Snickers]
322
00:09:55,113 --> 00:09:58,032
I just did. You're grounded from my life.
323
00:09:58,083 --> 00:10:00,934
You're not allowed
to participate in it ever again.
324
00:10:00,969 --> 00:10:02,886
You know what, I've had enough.
325
00:10:02,937 --> 00:10:04,805
You want me out of your life? You got it.
326
00:10:04,856 --> 00:10:06,824
We'll see how you do without me for a week.
327
00:10:06,858 --> 00:10:08,525
You know that isn't a punishment, right?
328
00:10:08,527 --> 00:10:09,860
Oh, we'll see.
329
00:10:09,911 --> 00:10:11,445
And when you come crawling back,
330
00:10:11,496 --> 00:10:13,447
begging for your mother's help
and guidance,
331
00:10:13,498 --> 00:10:15,449
we both know what'll happen then.
332
00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:17,201
You'll scoop me up in your arms.
333
00:10:17,203 --> 00:10:19,253
And smother you with kisses!
334
00:10:19,287 --> 00:10:21,255
Deal with that, sucka!
335
00:10:24,951 --> 00:10:27,364
Wasn't like my dad to want a dog...
336
00:10:27,389 --> 00:10:30,285
Until he met the dog
that was just like him.
337
00:10:30,310 --> 00:10:31,654
What the hell is lucky wearing?
338
00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:33,280
Did you make my dog an Eagles jersey?
339
00:10:33,297 --> 00:10:35,448
Sure did. You put effort into something?
340
00:10:35,483 --> 00:10:36,516
Can you believe it?!
341
00:10:36,551 --> 00:10:38,285
And look what I put on the back.
342
00:10:38,287 --> 00:10:42,155
Instead of Jaworski, I put "Paworski."
343
00:10:42,189 --> 00:10:44,040
'Cause it has paws.
344
00:10:44,075 --> 00:10:45,959
Because it's a dog.
345
00:10:46,010 --> 00:10:48,061
Not cool!
346
00:10:48,063 --> 00:10:49,195
[Growls]
347
00:10:49,246 --> 00:10:51,398
Dad's turned the dog against me!
348
00:10:51,432 --> 00:10:52,999
This was my dream, and...
349
00:10:53,034 --> 00:10:54,901
Dude, what do you got there?
350
00:10:54,952 --> 00:10:56,303
I'm making a dog puppet arm
351
00:10:56,337 --> 00:10:58,672
for when lucky needs to grab
stuff in my home movies.
352
00:10:58,706 --> 00:11:00,957
I'm gonna make "Turner &
Hooch," but watchable.
353
00:11:00,991 --> 00:11:02,142
You can't direct lucky.
354
00:11:02,176 --> 00:11:03,676
Your terrible changing voice
355
00:11:03,678 --> 00:11:05,361
will hurt her sensitive dog ears.
356
00:11:05,396 --> 00:11:07,247
Besides, I can't even get her away from Dad
357
00:11:07,298 --> 00:11:09,099
to play Frisbee with me. This is bullcrap!
358
00:11:09,133 --> 00:11:11,117
Dad hasn't turned lucky against you.
359
00:11:11,152 --> 00:11:13,920
The dog just listens to him
'cause he's the Alpha male.
360
00:11:13,922 --> 00:11:14,721
The wha?
361
00:11:14,723 --> 00:11:16,389
The boss. Numero uno.
362
00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:19,042
Lucky has to follow Dad. It's nature.
363
00:11:19,076 --> 00:11:21,094
Nature is an idiot.
364
00:11:21,096 --> 00:11:22,779
I'm number uno.
365
00:11:22,813 --> 00:11:23,863
In lucky's eyes,
366
00:11:23,898 --> 00:11:25,131
you're ranked number four in this family.
367
00:11:25,165 --> 00:11:26,966
No way! Clearly Dad's one.
368
00:11:27,001 --> 00:11:28,935
Pops is an elder, so that makes him two.
369
00:11:28,986 --> 00:11:30,620
I have a power alliance with Pops,
370
00:11:30,654 --> 00:11:32,505
so that puts me at three and you at four.
371
00:11:32,556 --> 00:11:33,806
Four?!
372
00:11:33,841 --> 00:11:36,025
That's the copper medal of the Olympics!
373
00:11:36,076 --> 00:11:37,443
Only one thing left to do.
374
00:11:37,478 --> 00:11:39,379
I shall challenge Dad to a showdown
375
00:11:39,430 --> 00:11:41,314
and become the Alpha!
376
00:11:41,316 --> 00:11:44,584
It's okay, Barry.
377
00:11:44,586 --> 00:11:46,853
Good Barry.
378
00:11:46,855 --> 00:11:48,571
Good Barry. Good Barry.
379
00:11:48,605 --> 00:11:49,789
Stop!
380
00:11:49,823 --> 00:11:51,924
As Barry was ready to challenge my dad,
381
00:11:51,959 --> 00:11:53,343
Beverly was ready for Erica
382
00:11:53,377 --> 00:11:56,028
to admit that a few days
without her were impossible.
383
00:11:56,079 --> 00:11:58,831
And there it is, the one thing
I know you can't resist...
384
00:11:58,866 --> 00:12:00,600
My seven-meat meatloaf.
385
00:12:00,602 --> 00:12:01,784
[Chuckles] I knew you'd give in.
386
00:12:01,819 --> 00:12:03,469
Thanks, but I'll eat at Lainey's.
387
00:12:03,504 --> 00:12:04,871
Got to study for mid-terms.
388
00:12:04,905 --> 00:12:06,772
Woof, must be tough not
having your mom there
389
00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:08,591
to help you hit the books this week, huh?
390
00:12:08,625 --> 00:12:10,176
Actually, this week's been pretty good.
391
00:12:10,227 --> 00:12:12,845
Look into your heart and tell me the truth.
392
00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:16,215
No, you're right. This
week's been pretty great.
393
00:12:16,217 --> 00:12:17,466
Stop.
394
00:12:17,517 --> 00:12:19,485
You haven't missed my back scratches? No.
395
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:22,388
How I lay on your sheets to warm
them up before bedtime? God, no.
396
00:12:22,439 --> 00:12:24,957
The love notes I write you
on the steamy shower door? No.
397
00:12:24,992 --> 00:12:27,259
The way I suck out the pits
of your olives. No!
398
00:12:27,311 --> 00:12:29,645
Just admit you learned your lesson.
399
00:12:29,696 --> 00:12:31,831
Life is worse without your mama.
400
00:12:31,882 --> 00:12:34,467
I'm sorry, but this week has
proven that I'm an adult
401
00:12:34,501 --> 00:12:36,869
and I can take care of myself.
402
00:12:36,903 --> 00:12:38,170
I don't have all the facts,
403
00:12:38,205 --> 00:12:40,439
but I think this one goes
in the "lost" column.
404
00:12:40,474 --> 00:12:42,308
This is the worst thing to happen to me
405
00:12:42,342 --> 00:12:43,709
since Adam learned to walk.
406
00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:45,961
My god.
407
00:12:46,012 --> 00:12:47,980
I can't believe how easy
it is to sneak downtown
408
00:12:47,982 --> 00:12:49,615
when you don't have a mom in your life.
409
00:12:49,666 --> 00:12:51,534
Yeah. Mine's been gone since I was 12.
410
00:12:51,585 --> 00:12:52,685
It's the best.
411
00:12:52,719 --> 00:12:53,602
So, where are the tickets?
412
00:12:53,637 --> 00:12:54,687
What tickets?
413
00:12:54,738 --> 00:12:56,155
I thought we'd buy some from a scalper.
414
00:12:56,206 --> 00:12:57,756
Isn't that really, really illegal?
415
00:12:57,791 --> 00:12:59,225
Definitely.
416
00:12:59,259 --> 00:13:00,276
Hey, dude, you got any tickets?
417
00:13:00,310 --> 00:13:02,728
Yeah. 10th row center.
418
00:13:02,779 --> 00:13:03,829
You interested?
419
00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:05,764
Hells yeah we are.
420
00:13:05,799 --> 00:13:07,266
Hells yeah you aren't.
421
00:13:07,268 --> 00:13:09,034
Oh, no. Oh, god.
422
00:13:09,069 --> 00:13:09,702
You got I.D.?
423
00:13:09,753 --> 00:13:11,387
I do have I.D.
424
00:13:11,421 --> 00:13:12,304
Is it a fake I.D.?
425
00:13:12,355 --> 00:13:13,656
You know what, just arrest us.
426
00:13:13,690 --> 00:13:15,074
This isn't gonna get any better.
427
00:13:15,076 --> 00:13:16,875
As Erica sank to rock bottom,
428
00:13:16,927 --> 00:13:19,311
Barry was about to make
his move to the top of the heap.
429
00:13:19,346 --> 00:13:22,031
Murray Terrence Goldberg,
430
00:13:22,082 --> 00:13:24,883
I challenge you to feats of strength.
431
00:13:24,918 --> 00:13:26,135
Terrence?
432
00:13:26,186 --> 00:13:27,569
Do you actually think
that's my middle name?
433
00:13:27,604 --> 00:13:28,954
Silence!
434
00:13:28,989 --> 00:13:30,889
Prepare to engage in a wrestling match
435
00:13:30,924 --> 00:13:33,225
so the dog can bear witness
to my true dominance.
436
00:13:33,227 --> 00:13:34,827
Put on this Mexican fighting mask.
437
00:13:34,861 --> 00:13:36,795
- No.
- Then take off your shirt.
438
00:13:36,846 --> 00:13:39,648
I'm not gonna wrestle you
with or without clothing.
439
00:13:39,682 --> 00:13:40,933
Fine!
440
00:13:40,984 --> 00:13:42,835
Then lucky will recognize me as the Alpha
441
00:13:42,869 --> 00:13:44,620
after I launch heavy items into the air
442
00:13:44,671 --> 00:13:46,805
using pure power and brute strength.
443
00:13:46,856 --> 00:13:48,524
[Grunts]
444
00:13:48,558 --> 00:13:50,876
It's slipping! No! Look away, lucky!
445
00:13:50,910 --> 00:13:51,960
Why isn't this working?
446
00:13:52,011 --> 00:13:53,896
I'm lifting with my back
like you're supposed to!
447
00:13:53,930 --> 00:13:55,948
Okay, stop with the lifting.
448
00:13:55,982 --> 00:13:58,717
Look, it's not my fault
the dog hangs around me.
449
00:13:58,751 --> 00:14:00,085
We just get each other.
450
00:14:00,119 --> 00:14:02,070
Oh, my god.
451
00:14:02,121 --> 00:14:03,789
- You love her!
- I do not.
452
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:05,290
There's actual love in your heart,
453
00:14:05,341 --> 00:14:06,725
and you're using it for the dog.
454
00:14:06,727 --> 00:14:08,527
- I do not love the dog.
- Fine.
455
00:14:08,578 --> 00:14:09,828
Then you won't care if I return her.
456
00:14:09,862 --> 00:14:10,996
Where's the receipt?
457
00:14:11,047 --> 00:14:13,682
She's family! You can't return family!
458
00:14:13,733 --> 00:14:15,067
Believe me, I've checked.
459
00:14:15,118 --> 00:14:17,836
Fine. Then from now on her name is Traitor.
460
00:14:17,870 --> 00:14:19,304
Don't do that. Come here, Traitor.
461
00:14:19,355 --> 00:14:20,656
Do not call her Traitor.
462
00:14:20,690 --> 00:14:23,291
That's a Goody-Woody little Traitor.
463
00:14:23,326 --> 00:14:24,843
Don't use a baby voice to call her Traitor!
464
00:14:24,877 --> 00:14:26,011
Then admit you love her!
465
00:14:26,013 --> 00:14:27,512
You know what, we don't need this crap.
466
00:14:27,514 --> 00:14:29,147
Come on, Luckster. Let's go for a walk.
467
00:14:29,198 --> 00:14:31,983
As Barry realized
he'd been replaced by a dog,
468
00:14:32,018 --> 00:14:35,020
Erica and Lainey were realizing
they were in deep trouble.
469
00:14:35,054 --> 00:14:38,140
[Buzzer] You get one phone call.
Make it count.
470
00:14:38,191 --> 00:14:40,075
Yes. One call.
471
00:14:40,126 --> 00:14:41,710
No-brainer. We're calling your mom.
472
00:14:41,744 --> 00:14:43,028
No way!
473
00:14:43,062 --> 00:14:44,980
I told her I could live
my life without her.
474
00:14:45,014 --> 00:14:46,898
You're in jail. You clearly can't.
475
00:14:46,949 --> 00:14:49,117
It took me 16 years
to get to this position.
476
00:14:49,168 --> 00:14:50,335
I can't go back.
477
00:14:50,337 --> 00:14:51,353
Well, call someone.
478
00:14:53,606 --> 00:14:54,773
[Phone rings]
479
00:14:54,824 --> 00:14:56,074
Hello?
480
00:14:56,076 --> 00:14:58,843
Hey. Is Pops there?
481
00:14:58,895 --> 00:15:02,580
I'm studying, and I have
a question about world war...
482
00:15:02,615 --> 00:15:05,133
I or II or whatever one he was in.
483
00:15:05,167 --> 00:15:07,185
[Sighs] Hold on.
484
00:15:08,437 --> 00:15:09,988
Hi, sweetheart. What's doing?
485
00:15:10,039 --> 00:15:11,656
I'm in major trouble and Mom will kill me,
486
00:15:11,707 --> 00:15:12,507
so just act normal.
487
00:15:12,541 --> 00:15:13,925
Okeydokey, Smokey.
488
00:15:13,976 --> 00:15:15,777
That doesn't sound normal.
That sounds crazy!
489
00:15:15,811 --> 00:15:18,163
Yessiree, sir, indeedy-Doo!
490
00:15:18,197 --> 00:15:19,164
Just don't talk.
491
00:15:19,215 --> 00:15:21,983
Okeydokey... [Mumbles]
492
00:15:22,017 --> 00:15:24,269
Just come to the police station downtown.
493
00:15:24,271 --> 00:15:25,770
I know you lost your license
494
00:15:25,821 --> 00:15:28,289
and will need to steal
a car, but I need you.
495
00:15:28,324 --> 00:15:32,277
So if you'll help, just
say, "America won the war."
496
00:15:32,311 --> 00:15:34,579
America won the war!
497
00:15:37,249 --> 00:15:38,299
And just like that,
498
00:15:38,334 --> 00:15:39,884
Pops floored it to Erica's rescue.
499
00:15:39,935 --> 00:15:43,488
♪
500
00:15:43,490 --> 00:15:45,673
Evening, Officer.
501
00:15:45,708 --> 00:15:47,292
Pull over now.
502
00:15:47,343 --> 00:15:48,977
[Horns honking]
503
00:15:49,011 --> 00:15:51,896
Any idea how fast you were driving?
504
00:15:51,947 --> 00:15:53,398
50? 3.
505
00:15:53,449 --> 00:15:55,333
53? Just 3.
506
00:15:55,367 --> 00:15:56,868
Well, that sounds very safe.
507
00:15:56,870 --> 00:15:59,053
It's not. Can I see your license?
508
00:15:59,088 --> 00:16:02,557
Sure thing, Officer. It's right down here.
509
00:16:02,591 --> 00:16:05,810
Kiss my grits, porky!
510
00:16:05,844 --> 00:16:07,729
[Tires spin]
511
00:16:07,763 --> 00:16:09,731
[Ignition stops]
512
00:16:09,765 --> 00:16:10,848
You're still in park.
513
00:16:10,899 --> 00:16:12,100
I-in my defense,
514
00:16:12,151 --> 00:16:14,485
I haven't driven in two years...
515
00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:16,687
'Cause I have no license.
516
00:16:16,738 --> 00:16:19,740
Pops, thank god you're here!
517
00:16:19,775 --> 00:16:21,275
I'm in really big trouble, Erica!
518
00:16:21,326 --> 00:16:22,360
Call your mother!
519
00:16:25,398 --> 00:16:26,598
My sister had set out to prove
520
00:16:26,633 --> 00:16:28,083
she could live life without my mom.
521
00:16:28,861 --> 00:16:30,623
And she failed miserably.
522
00:16:30,648 --> 00:16:32,833
Don't you two worry. We'll be fine.
523
00:16:32,884 --> 00:16:35,819
No matter what happens,
we got each other's back.
524
00:16:35,853 --> 00:16:37,954
Mr. Solomon, you're free to go.
525
00:16:37,956 --> 00:16:39,139
Pops out!
526
00:16:39,173 --> 00:16:40,307
Erica: Mom, seriously?!
527
00:16:40,358 --> 00:16:41,625
What about us?
528
00:16:41,659 --> 00:16:42,993
Yeah, do that thing where you scream
529
00:16:42,995 --> 00:16:44,494
and dig into the officer's personal life
530
00:16:44,529 --> 00:16:45,612
so much that he sets us free.
531
00:16:45,646 --> 00:16:48,331
[Sighs]
532
00:16:48,366 --> 00:16:51,234
She only does that for people
who want her in their life.
533
00:16:51,236 --> 00:16:53,219
No silent treatment! That's my thing.
534
00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:56,122
You know what she wants to hear.
535
00:16:56,157 --> 00:16:58,091
Fine! [Sighs]
536
00:16:58,142 --> 00:16:59,025
I need you in my life.
537
00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:01,344
[Sighs] She didn't hear you.
538
00:17:01,379 --> 00:17:03,596
I need you in my stupid life! Gah!
539
00:17:05,283 --> 00:17:06,683
She wants to know if you mean it.
540
00:17:06,717 --> 00:17:08,685
You're not just saying it
because you're in prison.
541
00:17:08,719 --> 00:17:10,870
Sure, there's that.
542
00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:12,489
But you're my mom.
543
00:17:12,523 --> 00:17:14,457
Of course I mean it.
544
00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:16,459
♪
545
00:17:20,097 --> 00:17:22,115
There's no way I'm going
to the concert now, right?
546
00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:23,616
She says, "god, no."
547
00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:24,384
Right.
548
00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:26,102
♪
549
00:17:26,137 --> 00:17:28,037
Barry: Hey.
550
00:17:28,072 --> 00:17:30,706
Mm. Can we talk?
551
00:17:30,731 --> 00:17:34,168
Look, I'm no longer gonna
demand you be my sidekick.
552
00:17:34,184 --> 00:17:37,520
I know I'm not the Alpha or the beta.
553
00:17:37,554 --> 00:17:39,789
I'm whatever comes last
in the Greek letters.
554
00:17:39,823 --> 00:17:41,407
I think it's Zorbo.
555
00:17:41,458 --> 00:17:43,292
See, ever since I was a little boy,
556
00:17:43,326 --> 00:17:44,510
I wanted a dog like you.
557
00:17:44,561 --> 00:17:46,062
Not 'cause you could jet-ski
558
00:17:46,064 --> 00:17:48,864
or break-dance or deflect
grenades with your paws.
559
00:17:48,915 --> 00:17:50,966
I just wanted a friend.
560
00:17:50,968 --> 00:17:52,568
And I didn't have many growing up.
561
00:17:52,602 --> 00:17:55,588
But I do now. And a hot girlfriend.
562
00:17:55,639 --> 00:17:58,107
So I guess I don't need
you as much as I used to.
563
00:17:59,876 --> 00:18:03,239
But my dad, he could use
a cool friend like you.
564
00:18:03,264 --> 00:18:05,210
Dude's a pretty cool guy
once you get to know him.
565
00:18:06,383 --> 00:18:07,883
So, we cool?
566
00:18:07,885 --> 00:18:09,602
Right. You can't talk.
567
00:18:09,653 --> 00:18:11,213
You can't talk, right?
568
00:18:12,505 --> 00:18:14,557
The dog can't talk, Barry.
569
00:18:14,559 --> 00:18:16,742
Hey, that was a private conference
570
00:18:16,793 --> 00:18:18,177
between me and Traitor.
571
00:18:18,211 --> 00:18:21,647
Look, I'm not the Alpha.
572
00:18:21,698 --> 00:18:23,165
But the dog always sits right next to you.
573
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:25,000
That's because of the scraps.
574
00:18:25,051 --> 00:18:28,270
There's all sorts of tasty
shrapnel flying around here.
575
00:18:28,321 --> 00:18:29,538
Here.
576
00:18:29,572 --> 00:18:31,423
Give her a try.
577
00:18:31,458 --> 00:18:33,392
Whoa!
578
00:18:33,443 --> 00:18:34,410
She likes me!
579
00:18:34,444 --> 00:18:35,444
Of course she does.
580
00:18:35,446 --> 00:18:36,628
You're a likeable kid.
581
00:18:36,663 --> 00:18:38,347
So, does this mean we can share the dog?
582
00:18:38,381 --> 00:18:39,815
[Sighs] I-I don't care.
583
00:18:39,849 --> 00:18:41,950
Come on. Say it. Say you love her.
584
00:18:41,952 --> 00:18:42,951
She's fine. Say it!
585
00:18:42,953 --> 00:18:44,386
She's fine. You love the dog.
586
00:18:44,437 --> 00:18:46,488
I love the dog!
587
00:18:46,523 --> 00:18:47,777
Me too.
588
00:18:47,802 --> 00:18:51,009
♪
589
00:18:51,060 --> 00:18:55,414
That day, we opened our hearts
to a new family member.
590
00:18:55,448 --> 00:18:58,800
And Erica opened her heart to my mom.
591
00:18:58,802 --> 00:19:01,653
Smells yummy. Since when do you bake?
592
00:19:01,704 --> 00:19:04,106
Just felt like cookie time.
593
00:19:04,140 --> 00:19:08,160
♪ ... you cut my feelings to the bone ♪
594
00:19:08,194 --> 00:19:11,463
What's all this?
595
00:19:11,514 --> 00:19:13,382
It's hard to say. [Chuckles]
596
00:19:15,151 --> 00:19:17,753
[Voice breaking] Even though I'm grown up
597
00:19:17,804 --> 00:19:20,555
and I don't need you...
598
00:19:20,606 --> 00:19:22,991
I still do.
599
00:19:22,993 --> 00:19:24,926
I always will.
600
00:19:26,779 --> 00:19:31,083
After everything I did,
you still bailed me out.
601
00:19:31,167 --> 00:19:34,202
So, I thought I'd finally give you
602
00:19:34,237 --> 00:19:37,339
the pajama party that you deserve.
603
00:19:37,373 --> 00:19:39,307
Oh, Honey.
604
00:19:39,342 --> 00:19:42,227
So, what do you say?
605
00:19:42,278 --> 00:19:44,496
Troop Beverly?
606
00:19:44,547 --> 00:19:46,965
Troop Beverly.
607
00:19:46,999 --> 00:19:48,800
And in the end it was all worth it.
608
00:19:48,851 --> 00:19:51,703
Not only did my mom and
sister start a new tradition,
609
00:19:51,737 --> 00:19:55,073
but my dad, Barry, and
their new sidekick did, too.
610
00:19:55,124 --> 00:19:57,726
Because that's what
makes a family great.
611
00:19:57,760 --> 00:19:58,593
Yes! Yes!
612
00:19:58,644 --> 00:20:00,061
Oh, yeah!
613
00:20:00,096 --> 00:20:02,797
It's not just the big moments.
It's the simple things.
614
00:20:02,832 --> 00:20:05,183
Like cheering on your favorite team,
615
00:20:05,217 --> 00:20:06,968
roasting marshmallows,
616
00:20:06,970 --> 00:20:09,354
or finding out the people
you've been keeping at a distance
617
00:20:09,388 --> 00:20:11,189
are actually the people you're closest to.
618
00:20:11,223 --> 00:20:13,141
So, tell me the truth.
619
00:20:13,143 --> 00:20:15,860
Was it Heather G. or Heather S.?
620
00:20:15,895 --> 00:20:18,196
Heather T.
621
00:20:18,230 --> 00:20:19,531
No! [Chuckles] Yeah.
622
00:20:22,310 --> 00:20:25,693
Adam: "Luck Tin Tin," take one.
623
00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:27,762
Hey, kid! Give me your money!
624
00:20:27,787 --> 00:20:29,221
Hey, who are you?
625
00:20:29,223 --> 00:20:30,772
[Grunts]
626
00:20:30,807 --> 00:20:32,224
Luck Tin Tin!
627
00:20:32,226 --> 00:20:33,558
Save me!
628
00:20:33,609 --> 00:20:36,061
Luck Tin Tin, attack!
629
00:20:36,063 --> 00:20:37,279
Oh, yeah! Luck Tin Tin!
630
00:20:37,313 --> 00:20:38,063
Pa-pow! Pow!
631
00:20:38,114 --> 00:20:41,783
Aah! Oh, no! No!
632
00:20:41,868 --> 00:20:43,735
No! No! Don't hurt me!
633
00:20:43,737 --> 00:20:44,518
[Whimpering]
634
00:20:45,823 --> 00:20:55,823
Synced and corrected by Nest0r
www.addic7ed.com
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