Original subtitles

Mon Mon Mon Monsters

Where's the money

Staright A's doesn't mean you can steal

Good skill

Smarty pants my ass

Ｗatch out for me

Ｗatch out for me

Ｗatch out for me

Ms. Li, please don't expel Lin

Everyone makes mistakes

The important thing is to repent

So let's make him sing a song

Don't look at me

Where's the money?

Ms. Li, I didn't steal it

If you didn't do it

Why is this envelope in your backpack?

I seriously don't know, I didn't do it

Ms. Li, I know

The money must be...

In his shoes

Yes! In his shoes

Take them off

Shoes off

This is your only chance to clear your name

So take off your shoes, quickly

I got it

The money must be in his anus

Pants off

Lin is ridiculous. What a fraud

I don't want to sit next to him

Impressive. What a thief

Lin is in this chat group, right?

Hi thief

Anus wunderkind

Kick him out

Kick him out

Kick him out

I know you didn't steal the money

Everyone

was just

messing with you

Shut up

Who asked you to talk

I just

Hope you don't turn out like me

Piss off!

No one will be like you

Get out!

Fuck off!

Boss, look

Thief

What are you doing here?

You guys are just ridiculous

If the school finds out

All of you will be expelled

The pool has been abandoned for decades

One man's trash, another man's treasure

Why did you guys steal the class fees?

When exactly did you see us steal it?

I knew it

You knew?

You must be a psychic aren't you

Aren't you?

I don't care if you guys steal

Why frame me?

Framed you?

What about now?

What a pervert, Lin

You're a thief and a boobies lover

I'm not

GOT CHA

Hang in there

Don't die on us, Lin

You know why we steal the money?

Cause I want to tune my bike

And I want to gas it up

You only think of yourself

If we didn't steal the money

We couldn't prank you

And you wouldn't be able to touch my girl's boobs

What a shame

Lin

Hear me out

No one comes here since they say it's spooked

But we've been smoking here for 2 years

I can't see no fucking ghosts here

Can I bury you alive here later?

If you can

Come haunt me as a ghost

Please do your best

You have to turn into a ghost and find me

I freaking want to see a ghost

Dying to see one

Please turn into a ghost

Come haunt my ass

Oh you know what?

Just turn into a Pokemon ghost

I'll get your ass again in my phone

Find out how high your CP is

I don't know what happened between you guys

But something must've happened

Now that your snitching behind their backs

If your classmates find out

They will be very unhappy

Have you ever thought about that?

This is how karma works

But I didn't do anything wrong

Lin, in addition to studying at school

Relationships are important too

I know it's difficult

But have you ever wondered

Why it's you instead of someone else?

But they almost poked my eye out

Stop looking

Look at your test sheet

What are you looking at?

Start looking at your books

You said you didn't steal the money

Then do you have proof that they stole it?

This is a recording without video

Maybe you were the one to hit them first

Maybe you appeared to be taunting them

I think they deserve a chance to explain themselves

Or would you like to seize this opportunity to

make things better with them?

(Boobies-lover)

Class

After Lin stole the class fees last time

He has been self-reflecting

So I would like to give him a chance to redeem himself

Anyone want to help him complete

community service assignment?

Ren-hao

Yes

Guo-feng

Wei-zhu

You three are quite the celebrities

Complete this assignment with him

I think it will be extra meaningful

Far out! Ms. Li

How do you know I'm so kind-hearted?

Return to your seat

(Boobies-lover)

Keep up

Hurry

Boobies-lover

Hurry up

Boobies-lover

Go faster

Boobies-lover, hurry up

Welcome to the gang

What are you doing?

-What the hell -Let me do it

Uh-uh

Won't you all have bad karma for doing this?

We're going to be old too

We just have to die before we're old

GO

1

2

3

(Gaara)

Assignment time

Li Rong-feng

Time to eat

Li Rong-feng

Time to eat

Rong-feng

Rong-feng

Fuck! It stinks

Rong-feng

Let's clean this shit up

It's so freaking dirty

Let's clean it out first

You're so into it

Boss

Switch

NRA's 29th Army Broadswords

A Broadsword

That's sick

Check out my broadsword skills

Thanks broadsword boss

So what if he's killed

Heros eventually turn into old farts

What's that?

Boss, check it out

I've heard that old veterans brought a lot of gold

when they came from China

Stop it

Old vet, where are the keys?

Keys

Keys

Where are the keys? Old man

Keys

Where are they?

Give me the keys...

I think that safe must have bars of gold

Let's steal it

But it has a thick chain

I have hydraulic shears

Hydraulic shears to chop off your penis

Do you have a welding torch?

I have to check

Let's assmeble at 1:30 am

Let's make it 2, right here

Bring the stuff

Okay

What for?

Just shut up and come

You talk too much

Keep your mouth shut

2 am

What was that?

Dogs

You sure?

Yes, shut up

Boss

I really want to fart

Shut the fuck up

Guo-feng

I told you to bring hydraulic shears

What's with the shovel?

Digging your own grave?

Might come in handy

Lin

Didn't you say you had a welding torch?

I said that I had to look around

Idiot

I gave you a chance to step up and be a pal

I got it

A blowtorch

I was just going to say...

That's a blowlamp for barbeques

Isn't it a welding torch?

How did I end up with you three idiots

Wait up

What's up

What?

Go

Hurry

Fuck! Old fart

Never mind him! Move

Boobies-lover, watch the door

Watch the door

Move your ass

C'mon, let's go

Boss, want me to burn it with the welding torch?

That's a blowlamp for barbeques not a welding torch

What the hell?

Idiot, let me do it

Keep it down

Don't take pictures

What if we get a ghost on photo?

We won't

Boss, don't saw it open

Saw it right here

Hurry up

Li Rong-feng

Dumbass

Have an orange

You old fart

Come to the orange

Here, eat your orange

Come here

Have an orange

C'mon, have an orange

Li Rong-feng

You sure there's gold in here? It's real heavy

Let's settle things later

It'll suck if those aren't gold bars

Shut the fuck up

Should we split the earnings by 3 or 4?

I told you we'll talk later

By 4! I'm part of this too

Quiet we'll settle things later

Wait a sec

What is it

Did you hear that?

It's the sound of

my heart beat

-WTF -You retard

Wait a sec

Now what

I heard something

What

Run

Why is it still on?

I can't mute this shit

Switch hands

It's really heavy

Switch

Fuck! What the hell?

This is a kid, right?

Should we call the cops?

Idiot we're not calling the cops

What do we do?

Let's get out of here

Let's bounce

We can't

Fuck

Boss

Should we electrocute it?

Electrocute with what exactly?

You really are an idiot aren't you?

Hey boss

What the hell are we doing?

Why did we bring this thing here?

Idiot

If we left it there

The cops would bust us using the security footage

If it dies, we bury the body

We didn't kill it anyways

You are right

But that swing of yours

What swing?

Do you want to get hit by a car?

I can dig one hole here

And I can dig two

Did you see that?

See what?

I think it's afraid of light

Yeah! Lights

Afraid of light

What?

Our Father! Show your powers!

Fuck. For real?

Give me that

Life doesn't have to be that long

Class, you may nap as long as you want

Napping is good

Napping is great

Anyone wants to know the answer to this question?

You want to know? Are you messing with me?

All you do is sleep in class

What are you really up to?

I give up

This is what you call a kidnap

Bingo! It is a kidnap!

Kidnapping

But boss, she doesn't look hungry

Idiot, can't you see

She eats humans, not lunch boxes

Humans

Wei-zhu

You guys are sick

Why capture this thing?

Owning a monster is awesome

It's not a human being

We do whatever we want

But how long will we keep it locked up here?

Until

I know what to do with it

Don't be afraid

They'll let you go once they're finished

Boobies-lover, are you ready?

Quickly

Hold on

Here, let's give you an upgrade

You're more used to be bullied, aren't you?

Hang on

Fuck

That's some dark blood

Will it grow back if we yank it?

Monsters' bodies can regenerate all the time

Like in the movies

If it grows back

We'll yank it again

And again

And

AGAIN

Quick, give me a bottle

I'm going to use them as beads

Do whatever you like with it

The Wall that rises, the sands that flow

Are what help me grow

Though the road is long

All I do is go

I'm just a Chinese camel

Broadswords

29th Army

Squad leader

765

Li Rong-feng

Foul beast

Name and rank

Jesus Chris

People have gone missing

They say this place is haunted!

Haunted!

You old vet, why are you still awake?

Singing some dead-old song

Talking about camels

Camels! What about camels?

Go to the fucking zoo

Where are your morals?

Who the heck you want to scare

with that big old knife

You old prick with Alzheimer's

Give us a break will you?

Heaven and Earth

Doesn't work

If a man find a damsel

That is a virgin

Which is not betrothed

and lay hold on her, and lie with her...

He that is wounded in the stones

or hath his privy member cut off

Shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD

You suck

It's not afraid of silver the bible or my middle finger

It's not an vampire

It isn't a zombie

It isn't human, either

You should thank this thing

Why's that?

If we didn't capture it

You would be up there

Me? But it's tied in scripture

You'll be tied in pornos, right?

Anyways, if it were you instead of it

I'll definitely be more creative

C'mon show your appreciation

Thank you

Fuck! For real?

We caught it together

You have 1/4 of the shares

I mean 1/5

Let me see

Why can't I see any red blood cells

That's because

There aren't any red blood cells

Those black dots

look like eggs

Eggs?

Eggs or spores perhaps

What are these?

(Center for Missing Persons)

(Lin Shiu-jen)

(Lin Shiu-jen)

(Double homicide)

(Voodoo Master Dies Tragically)

(Voodoo Master)

(Conjuring poisons to kill for money)

(Conjuring them within female bodies)

(and extracting during menstruation)

What are you trying to say?

It's a girl!

What was this thing before

I don't know

But now

She's a monster

Boss, does this make us more cruel than Cersei Lannister?

Who's Cersei Lannister?

The queen who killed her sons

Which son?

All of them

So why did we capture her?

Don't know if those Yankees at NASA are into this stuff

Or are they just into ETs

Please! We're only high schoolers

We can' t be the only ones who caught a monster like this

There must be plenty in America

Who knows

If boobies-lover's research is real

It's a Chinese monster

Poisoned by voodoos

FBI might not have any

So we should sell it to the FBI

We can't sell it, okay?

Why are we doing this?

Eventually she'll starve to death

True, if she doesn't eat any humans

She will die soon

Then who will we feed her

Yeah, who?

Yeah, who should be the one?

Let's vote and see

Okay, voting sounds good

Very democratic

Fine

Hello students

This is nurse Angela

Today,let's learn how to draw blood

Where is this from?

It looks so dodgy

Was it home-made?

It looks fine

This has the highest views

Totally trust-worthy

Why do I have to feed her?

Because you're the most caring person

Unless you want to see her starve to death

With that much blood in you

Draw some out is healthy

Exactly

I read on the internet

People who donate blood have better metabolism

If you want to treat her well

Then take action

Stop moving

I didn't move

Don't move, I'm aiming

I didn't move

Stay still, or you do it yourself

Fine, I'll do it myself

No! Let me do it

I've always wanted to be Doctor Black Jack

No! Let me do it

I've never been afraid of blood

No! Please let me do it

I've never been able to do anything right

Please give me this chance

Let me

Move it

I'm developing my hobby

Lunch Time

Drink slowly now

I feel dizzy

If we find another voodoo master

or some person that knows magic

Can we get the voodoo out from you?

Or is it too late

for you to become human again?

What are you doing?

I understand how pitiful all of this is

But if I just let you go

They will kill me

They really will kill me

You've seen what they can do

But be patient

I'll think of a way to get you out

You know

I am helping you, right?

I'm not them

We're different

I'm not like them

What's this?

Blue

Blue, how much is it?

One thousand dollars

Don't take it

Don't take it

Tell the customers that there's no change

No change

Yes, no change, don't take it, remember that

This one here

One hundred dollars

Stop playing with that. Focus

I know what to do

If you see the red one just take it

Tell them to find change themselves

Let them find change themselves

I'll find change

Take what? What will you do with it?

Tell them to take it themselves

I know what to do

Put that back

Or pay for it

Go away

Put it back

Stand up

Attention

Bow

Good morning, Ms.Li

Sit down

Okay

Quiet down

Ren-hao

Yes, Ms. Li

You beat my son this badly

Where are your parents?

Apologize now

Apologize for what?

How will you pay for my son's injuries?

Ren-hao

You're just a piece of shit

Tell your parents to take responsibility for this

Ren-hao, I don't know

what has gotten into you recently?

But that's okay

It's probably tests from Gods

Here, let me help you

Hands together

Namo Amoghasiddhi

Namo Amoghasiddhi

Samantabhadra

Samantabhadra

Bhaishajyaguru

Bhaishajyaguru

Amitabha

I know that's Buddha

Watch over disciple Ren-hao

Watch over disciple Ren-hao

To rid the karma from this life and the past

To rid thousands and Millions of Kalpa

You're funny, Ms. Li

Don't disrespect Buddha

You disrespect the Venerates and Buddha now

You will go to hell tongue-less

Which hell?

Tounge-less in hell

Stop joking

Stand straight

So disrespectful

Gautama Buddha

Sounds impressive

Samantabhadra

Samanta~

Bhaishajyaguru

Bhaisha~

Stop with the jokes

Stop giggling and stand upright

Samantabhadra

Bhaishajyaguru

Repeat after me

I told you to repeat after me

Repeat after me

Did you hear me? Samantabhadra

You better take me seriously

Ren-hao

Tell your dad to meet me tomorrow

I'm going to question him

How he taught a son like this

Who doesn't respect his teachers

With no respect of himself

You piece of crap

Say that again

Ren-hao

I suddenly remembered something

I should apologize to you

It's my bad

Your father can't come to school tomorrow, yes?

Here's the thing

It's written in his family information

His father is still serving time in prison

I forgot what he was charged with

Drug abuse or robbery?

Or both?

You really can't blame Ren-hao

For becoming a scum like this

It's because of his father

is also a crime-committing social scum

If you really think about it

Maybe he is not his biological father

It's hard to say

Because his mother's occupation is “special”

Which one of those druggies

made her mother pregnant

No one really knows for sure

Ren-hao wasn't taught any manners

He is

Manner-less

Fuck

Bitch

I'm gonna

fucking

kill you

Fuck

Why does everyone have to pour some?

Just asking

What's gonna happen?

Idiot, we won't find out unless we pour it in

That's why we're pouring it in

Don't you want to be a pioneer?

Then let's try it with something else

How about we experiment with you?

Is it going to be like the movies?

If she drinks the monster's blood, she'll...

She'll what?

Turn into a monster

She better turn into a monster

Pei-fen, let's go catch a movie after work

There's a really spicy movie in theaters now

You mean "special"

Yeah, it's a really special movie

The movie's basically about falling in love

Boss

I wanted to

thank you

For what?

For backing me up

Relax, from this day forward, only I can beat you

I'll beat up

whoever hit you

Why beat me then?

What for?

Because it's fun

It's got the coolest zombies

Werewolves and vampires

I'm going to a monastery

That way we can worship the gods together

And then go to the movies

You don't worship at a monastery

You meditate

Recently when I talked to that group of students

I almost lost control of them

What a bunch of unspiritual kids

Do you think I should go meditate with you?

Let me take you to the health center

Thank you

Jackpot

Send her to the health center

Get a close up of this

Ms. Li

Ms. Li

Buddha

is my BFF

What are you all doing?

Help her

Help her

Calm down everyone

Help her

HELP HER

What you are seeing now

is an incident at Tung-Shih Senior High School

A teacher spontaneously combusted

and began massive bleeding

during a school basketball game

she then shortly burned to death

The cause of the fire has yet to be confirmed

Worth noting that all the student witnesses…

What happens when we add some

She better turns into a monster

In the end

We'll turn whoever

we want

into monsters

Capture them all

And pull their teeth out

Shu-wei

You're finally here

To Ms. Li who turned to Burning man

Burning man

Why won't you drink

I don't like drinking

Didn't you drink some last Halloween?

I don't like drinking from cans

I like the bottled kind

You want a bottle?

I have a bottle right here

I mean

Bottled red wine

Here, I got a bottle red wine

There's a bottle

right here

Just a bit left

Drink up

I can't, my parents will kill me if they find out

Brush your teeth then

What? I didn't bring my toothbrush

There's one in the bathroom

There is toothbrush?

It's classy

I don't have any toothpaste

Wait, you want Darlie or Sensodyne?

I don't use any of these

Are you going to drink or what

You think I'm going to burn you up?

I can kill you with a million ways

Why poison you?

Why bring him into all this?

I don't get it

Probably because I have blood

I didn't force you to provide blood

I'd be happy

He'd be happy

to watch her starve to death

You're the one that said no

What you looking at?

If you want to let her go, do it then

Let her go and let her eat you up

You want to be the good guy

You don't have the guts

What are you then?

Find change yourself

100 dollars. Find change yourself

100 dollars

Don't you know I'm scamming you?

Don't you know I'm scamming you?

Why do you believe in people so easily?

Let me tell you

There are no good people here, only bad people

Or retards like you

-100 dollars -You

You retard, don't you understand

100 dollars find change yourself

Don't you understand

Find change yourself

100 dollars

You retard

100 dollars, find change yourself

The money's on the floor

I heard dogs chewed out this body all night

This is the seventh time this month

You guys always talk about another monster

She probably saw the news

and found out her partner's missing

Thinks one of the school's students did it

So what?

The monster doesn't know who exactly

kidnapped her companion

Am I right?

Okay

Have you guys had enough?

Burn her up already

Boobies-lover has a lot of blood

We'll burn her when he is out of blood

(Multiple Tong-Shih High School Students Dismembered)

(Suspect Still At Bay)

I'm the one who sent you the note at cram school

You said don't jerk-off in class

I was very pissed

Because I really was jerking off

But I swear I didn't finish

Because it would smell

I'm not a pervert after all

Because I love you

What do you want to drink?

I want a cup of watermelon juice

Extra large

What the fuck?

Bloody hell, crazy motherfucker

Hey what do you want?

Ma'am, one extra large cup of watermelon juice

What the hell do you want?

S-I-S-T-E-R

Ready?

That monster

Will definitely go back to where they were separated

Anything?

Yes

She responded

You two

Take this path

Boobies-lover

Take this one

I'll take this one

Which ever route she takes

The little one's blood will draw her here

Right here

We'll kill her right here

She must be able to smell

Therefore we can't douse the little one in gas first

Put the gasoline in the water tank

Wei-zhu, you hide in there

Signal us when the monster comes

Seal off all the exits

Make her come through here

Boobies-lover

Lock the door once she's in there

Guo-feng

You'll open the water tank

And pour the gasoline in

And the boss will light it up

Boom

“Like shooting shrimp in a barrel”

What if

She doesn't show up

She will

I'm the slowest one here

What if I don't close the door quick enough

If so then the monster will kill you

I think the fastest person should close the door

Let's vote then

Raise your hand if you want me to do it

Those who want boobies-lover raise your hand

What if

the monster happens to

see me first?

What do I do?

Then you're so doomed

I'm sure that you know

What we've done these few days

I've got this

After your sister unchains you

You can jump out from here

You should know

I've been such a loser

But

I want to get this last thing right

(15 minutes to sunset)

Fuck! You've got balls

The boss called it

The bigger monster

would go back to where she lost the little one

(The app says daybreaks in 15 minutes)

Wei-zhu

What

Can I switch with you?

Didn't we vote on this?

Go back

When I was running back and forth

I happened to sprain my ankle

I want to switch with you

Can't you see I'll freak out too

Stop messing around

Aren't we friends?

Will you send your friend to hell?

What do you want?

Back then

Why framed me for stealing the class fees?

What's the point of talking about this

Just for fun

(She is here)

C'mon

C'mon

C'mon

Show yourself

Open the door

This was not the plan

Of course this wasn't the plan

We are not friends at all

We are friends! We're bros

Bullshit

You guys will torture me to death one day

Then why help the monster?

That thing eats people

So what if she eats people?

Bullying the monster

Won't make us saints

It will only make us worse

Open the door

You can kill me in a hundred ways

Open the door

Now

Is my only shot to kill you

You know that you and me we're on the same side

You'll tell your sister not to kill me right?

You know

Tell me that you know

I'm not like them

I am here to save your sister

Otherwise she would've died

I'm not like them

I fed her blood

I'm the good guy

Save me

100 dollars. Find change yourself

Find change yourself

You're not like us