Original subtitles

["Gypsy" by Stevie Nicks]

♪ So I'm back to the velvet underground ♪

♪ Back to the floor that I love ♪

♪ To a room with some lace Some paper flowers ♪

♪ Back to the gypsy that I was ♪

♪ To the gypsy that remains ♪

♪ Faces freedom With a little bit of fear ♪

♪ I have no fear, I have only love ♪

♪ But she was just a wish ♪

♪ She was just a wish ♪

♪ And lightning struck only once ♪

♪ And your gypsy, your gypsy ♪

[Jean] The moment of trespass.

It's usually small, almost unnoticeable.

Whether it's returning a flirtatious text,

holding eye contact a moment too long.

Or maybe even going to a coffee shop you know you shouldn't be at.

Jean, are you really being honest with yourself?

Well, I...

I did have a moment of weakness.

It was brief, but...

I felt the impulse.

The need to escape...

and just...

break free of everything.

I guess that's why I thought I should come back and see you again.

[man] I'm wondering if this has anything to do

with the fact that Melissa has just been released.

[Jean] No, I've put that behind me.

I've let it go.

I do know how to keep myself in check.

How to catch myself...

before I'm fully on the tightrope again.

Jean, it's me, Allison.

Please call me back, 646-555-0174.

Please, I really need to talk to you. Soon, please.

[Jean] Uh, yeah, so, she's been doing really well with her recovery.

Um, we went to a meeting just last week.

[laughs] Sorry, it's--

it's a lot for me to process.

Her mother's concerned she's a potential suicide risk.

She's not suicidal.

Do you know where she was last staying since she left her mom's?

Um...

she was at her friend Amber's for a few days.

And after that, um...

her ex-boyfriend's.

-Name of the boyfriend? -Ex-boyfriend.

Tom Devins.

He's actually responsible for a lot of her drug use.

And he's been violent with her before, also.

If I can get a copy of your notes, that would be helpful.

Uh, I'm not sure how comfortable I am with that.

It's standard protocol to discuss it with the patient first.

Yeah, I understand.

But anything that helps us track her behavior is very useful.

Or we could just court order it.

Anything I can do to help.

That was it.

I, uh...

I gave him my notes. I told him about Tom.

It was pretty straightforward.

[Gary] He was in the waiting room a few weeks ago, right?

Yeah.

His body language, his anger, I shoud've...

I should have reported it back then.

Well, the police will handle it.

But...

I'm still unclear, Jean.

I couldn't have predicted that Allison--

No, not about Allison.

About you.

Detective Kelly mentioned on the phone that Allison's mother believes

she's emotionally unstable.

That's a huge departure from what you've said in supervision.

I-- I just wouldn't characterize her as emotionally unstable.

Yes, she's in recovery, but she's making progress.

She's really trying. I told you this.

I'm wondering how attached you've become to this girl.

I'm worried it's a pattern.

Look, Allison's an addict.

They're manipulative and charismatic and often the best liars.

But my only error here is that I couldn't perceive the fact that maybe,

maybe she was lying to me, and that's it.

I'm not involved with this.

And I'm certainly not breaking any professional boundaries.

I heard you been looking for me.

Yeah, I was, but it's nothing. Don't worry--

No, no, no, no. See, now I want to talk to you.

-What is it? -Allison.

See, she slept over the other night, and now she's gone, right?

She disappeared like that.

I thought maybe you'd know something about it

since you're all buddy-buddy with her now.

I'm supposed to believe you?

I might be an asshole, all right? But I'm not a fucking kidnapper.

You gotta admit, though, she had you so focused on me,

that you didn't even think that maybe she was the one who was fucking psychotic.

I'm sure she fed you that bullshit about her mom's cancer, too, right?

Just hope she doesn't sell you out, too, lady.

[phone ringing]

[sighs]

[phone buzzes]

[phone chimes]

[Alexis] It's beautiful.

The blue. Yes, I love the blue.

Um, Alexis?

-Hey. -Hey, um...

Could you close the door?

What's going on?

I don't know. Actually, I really don't know.

Can I do something?

I have to go and pick up Dolly from school today.

So can you just cancel the meeting with Allen?

Michael. I mean, can I do anything?

I wish that you could.

Me, too.

Thanks. Hey, I am...

really glad that you're back at your desk.

I hope that's okay to say.

[phone ringing]

Hey, this is Sam. Leave a message.

[voice mail beeps]

Sam, it's Jean again.

Uh, I really need to speak to you.

Can you call me back, please?

It's important. Thanks.

[knock on door]

-[Sidney] Hey. -Hey.

-[Sidney] Well, that's nice. -Mm-hmm.

[Jean] I'm happy to see you.

Believe me, I could use the escape right now.

[Sidney] I love it, your place.

Thanks.

Your niece looks exactly like you.

We get that a lot.

Can I get you a drink?

-Sure. -Bourbon okay?

Yeah, great.

Oh, shit, can you grab some ice, please?

[Sidney] Sure.

-Fuck. -What?

This I wasn't expecting.

-It's not mine. -Well, then, whose is it?

I don't know.

I, um, had a friend staying here. She has issues with drugs,

and I didn't know she was still using.

I don't want to think about that right now.

I just want to focus on you.

How are you feeling after the other day?

Better.

You know, I was thinking about Sam.

What does he look like?

-Do you have a picture? -[chuckles] Why do you care?

Curious what kind of guy you like to fuck.

[Sidney] Oh, really?

-Does that turn you on? -Maybe.

You like picturing that?

[chuckles]

Here, you can see Emily, too.

He's cute, I guess.

Oh.

What?

[Jean] I guess he's having some kind of engagement party tonight.

Sorry, I just, I didn't know that was happening tonight.

Hey, don't apologize.

I mean, you guys had a long history,

and you obviously cared about each other, too.

It's normal.

Yeah.

Where is it?

[scoffs] It's just some restaurant downtown.

Look, I'm telling you, I really don't give a shit.

-Really? -Mm-hmm.

Not even curious just a little bit?

[Jean] Maybe it'll be a turn on.

[pop music playing]

I hope no one recognizes me.

That's all part of the fun, isn't it?

You're right. You're not that pure.

[Jean] That's them, right?

[Jean laughs]

Ugh, she's so vanilla.

[Jean] Not everyone could be as adventurous as you are.

Whatever.

Should I try to get closer? See if I can hear something?

You're crazy.

Why? No one knows who I am.

I can try to get a picture.

Hold on a second.

Let me use yours. Mine's dead.

[inaudible]

[shutter clicks]

[sighs]

Must be hard for you to see that.

Yeah, it's a little weird, for sure.

You guys were in a serious, co-dependent relationship.

Sure. We were lost in our own little world for a while, I guess.

Don't you think that you were maybe using him?

Controlling?

I mean, come on, convincing him to get a tattoo?

Maybe Emily just loves him for who he really is.

How do you know he has a tattoo?

You told me the other night, remember?

Hmm.

Look.

Oh, fuck me.

You should go talk to him.

Are you crazy?

-Here, now? -Yeah.

Go on, tell him how insane this is, and that you're worried about him.

Why would I do that in the middle of his engagement party?

Because you said it yourself, he shouldn't be with her.

Maybe you can get through to him.

Why do you want me to be with Sam so much?

I just think he's good for you.

You said he's reliable, dependent.

You get to be honest with him.

You know how to make him feel good.

-You got in late. -Yeah, it was a rough night.

I can't believe we still live in this house.

Hmm.

You're the one who chose it.

Maybe I've changed.

[Michael] Oh!

[music playing over earphones]

[woman] Excuse me, miss!

Hey, are you Alexis Wright?

Um, yeah. How can I help you?

Did you write this?

Yeah.

-[Sidney] You know Diane? -Diane who?

Hart.

-Doesn't sound familiar-- -She's saying that she wrote this.

So either you're a plagiarist, or she is.

[scoffs] I don't know what you're talking about.

Who are you? How did you even get this address?

Your LinkedIn.

-[telephone rings] -You can find anything on the Internet.

Michael Holloway's office.

Hey, Jean. Yeah, okay, go ahead.

Yea--

[stammers] Um... okay.

Hey!

[Claire] "Dear Mom, I'm so sorry for all that has transpired.

I know I haven't been able to see you as much as you'd like,

but I love you and value you so much.

It's hard for me to bring this up in person,

and it might be better to just not mention it,

but please know that I love you.

Love, Rebecca."

Oh...

That's really lovely, Claire.

I was so upset when she canceled on me,

and really thought it was over.

And then I get this.

I don't know.

I guess Howard's shining down on me, after all.

You know, Claire...

I think I've been preoccupied lately

and perhaps not been present for you in the ways I want to be.

So, I want to apologize if I've been hard on you.

No, what are you talking about?

Jean, you've been terrific, terrific--

No, I haven't, but I'm gonna change that.

I think it's possible that I was over-identifying with Rebecca,

'cause I have a tough relationship with my mother.

And you know, that voice that gets into your head,

you can't-- you can't shut it down.

And you don't like what it says, but it makes you want to rebel.

You know, when I was just a little girl,

I thought...

I want to just strike a match and burn the house down.

But, of course, I would never do that,

but family, emotions are intense.

Jean, I'm really sorry.

It's just-- even I have to struggle with how much I have to hide from my mom.

So maybe it's the same with Rebecca.

[Alexis] So, the weirdest thing just happened.

This random girl comes to my desk earlier, asking all kinds of questions.

She claims someone named Diane Hart was plagiarizing my story.

It was really bizarre.

And Dolly's school again,

they want to confirm Jean's speech on bullying.

Said they've been trying to reach her.

Oh, right, yeah.

She didn't mention anything about a...

a speech, go figure.

You okay?

I was a real dick to you after Texas.

-And I'm not a dick. -I know you're not.

I think, maybe...

I've been being nice to the wrong people.

Michael...

You worked so hard to disprove the rumors.

'Cause I'm a fucking idiot.

I'm seeing someone.

Okay, right. I'm sorry.

It's okay.

Uh, no explanation needed.

[Allison] You know, when I was still at Fordham,

just when all this shit started to take over,

I used to sit in the park over there and swing...

for, like, hours.

It was the only place I felt safe.

Faster! Faster, faster!

Stacey, Stacey, Stacey, look!

Mommy!

Hey, sweetie.

I got finished early, so I thought I'd surprise you.

Now you go upstairs and get started with your homework, okay?

-Already? -Yeah, I'll be right up.

Thanks.

[phone ringing]

[automated voice] We're sorry, you have reached a number

that has been disconnected or is no longer in service.

[sighs]

[phone ringing]

[voice mail beeps]

Hi, Detective Kelly, this is Jean Holloway again.

I'm just calling to see if you have any more information

on my patient Allison Adams.

If you could call me as soon as you get this.

Thanks. Bye.

[door opens]

We need to talk.

[Jean] I know.

Good.

[sighs] Good. Is Dolly upstairs?

-Yeah, she's-- she's fine. -Okay.

I'm, uh, I'm concerned.

Okay.

I recognize this, all of it.

And I don't like it.

I know...

I know that you're lying.

I don't know why, or what you're lying about,

but I can see it, I know.

[shakily] Okay, look...

I just, I need your help right now.

I need you to stick with me.

Honey...

I'm in over my head, and, um, I'm scared.

There's a car outside. It's been parked there all day.

What do you mean? What car? What...

There's nobody out there.

It-- it was. It was--

It was a gray car right there.

-[Michael] Are you sure? -[Jean] Yeah.

-I don't know, I don't know-- -Hey, Jean.

-It's-- -Jean.

Okay, I did something...

that I know you won't agree with, but...

In fact, it's hard for me to even admit, but...

I have a patient, this young girl, and she's got this violent ex-boyfriend,

and he's involved with drugs, and she's involved, and...

and she has a mother who won't see her, and...

she just needed a place to stay for a few days.

And I didn't want her to end up on the streets.

-Right. -So I wanted to just be there for her.

And now...

Now she's missing. She's... she's missing.

The detective is calling me.

I don't-- I don't know.

[sobbing]

Imagine if this was Dolly. Imagine, it's just...

[Jean] Okay.

[breathing deeply]

And so I let her go to 309.

-Wait, 309? -Yeah, I kept it.

I didn't ever use it or sleep there. I just never gave it up.

Wait.

You kept it? Why would you keep it?

And you told me that you got rid of it like eight years ago.

-I guess I was scared, I just-- -Of what?

I don't know. Of losing it. I--

I don't know, of losing myself.

Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?

You don't think that I'm afraid of losing myself?

You are so fucking selfish!

-Please, Dolly-- -No, no, no, no, stop it, stop it!

Did you ever actually think about me? And Dolly?

How this would affect any of us?

The fact that you can never actually commit,

and this insane recklessness.

Jean, I have stuck by you

-through everything! -Please stop.

Shut up! With your mom, with Melissa.

Maybe she wasn't as crazy as you made her out to be.

Maybe you manipulated her, got under her skin, huh?

Maybe she wasn't as fucked up as you thought.

And who is this woman who comes into my office

-and says she knows -Honey, please, stop!

someone named Diane Hart who plagiarized my assistant's story?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Does this make you feel good?

Does it make you feel more free to manipulate people like this?

That you're so powerful?

Fuck this.

[sighs]

[Jean sobbing]

[Michael] Fuck this.

[sobbing]

[Jean gasping]

[sobbing]

[knock on door]

[Nancy] Jean. What are you doing here?

[Jean sobbing]

[Nancy] Oh, honey.

It's okay, okay.

Okay.

It's all right.

You just have to tell Michael you'll give it up.

And do whatever it takes.

-That's all he needs to hear. -Yeah.

So, he feels hurt.

You sound like the therapist.

Well, unlike a therapist,

I would argue that you can then disregard it...

and figure out what you actually want to do.

Why didn't you force me to give it up after all these years?

Because I knew you needed it.

And I thought better that it be an apartment than... a person, hmm?

Well, actually, I blame your father.

Creating a world of secrecy all around you.

And me, as a matter of fact.

I have to go down to the basement to look at some stuff.

-Is that okay? -Okay.

[Jean] Diane. Diane Hart.

I'm... a journalist. I'm a journalist.

Relationship status, single.

Address, 309 West 81st Street.

Future plans... unknown.

I do love you.

So much.

Upstairs, please, sweetie.

[Dolly] No!

Dolly, go upstairs and get ready now.

-[Dolly] Daddy! -Now.

Hmm, ba-boing!

I want the key to 309.

Why?

Are you really asking me that at this point?

[drawer opening]

[keys jangling]

[Jean] Thanks for coming, Sam. I'm happy to see you.

I figured I owed you that, at least.

Yeah, I'm glad. I didn't like how things ended last time.

Yeah, I'm not the best at goodbyes.

Neither am I.

And look, if you want to process out of therapy, that's your choice.

That's fine, of course.

But...

I do feel an obligation to share something with you.

Sidney contacted me.

What?

She told me you were getting engaged.

I think she's worried about you.

Wait, she said that? You spoke to her?

No, it was an e-mail, which I didn't respond to, of course.

How did she find you? She doesn't even know who you are.

Well, I don't know. Does she have your password?

Did she get into your emails, your contacts?

I can't believe she reached out like that.

Maybe she doesn't want you to make a mistake.

No, she just wants to bulldoze my happiness

now that I'm with Emily, and she's alone.

Sam, you sure you should be doing this?

Getting engaged to Emily?

I know you'll probably say it's reckless and impulsive,

and it's just a Band-Aid,

and all the other very smart,

-rational advice, but I just don't care. -You're an adult.

-It's your decision. -But I know what you're thinking.

Maybe that's not what I'm thinking.

You know, my husband's a lawyer, and we're actually not that different

from you and Sidney.

Maybe that's why...

I'm invested.

You know, the other night, we had a...

a party

to celebrate the engagement.

And I swear for a second I thought I saw Sidney there.

It freaked me out.

It made me wonder if I'm always gonna be chasing the dream, you know?

The fantasy.

But I think it's good that I'm not mad for Emily.

That I don't lose my head, that I choose something real.

Well, Sam, I don't want you to settle. You should have your dream.

But if you...

if you really feel that connection, that excitement with Emily,

then who am I to tell you how much time you need?

And the fact that you actually are over Sidney?

Well, that means something.

But you know, for what it's worth, maybe Sidney's not as bad as we thought.

I mean, she clearly cares about you a great deal.

You know, sometimes...

it just takes one look at someone to know that's what you really want.

[cell phone buzzing]

What the fuck are you doing here?

I just really wanted to talk to you.

You never even visited.

I wanted to.

No one understood. You know that, right?

They said I fabricated all of it, that you're a professional,

and I'm some un-credible source.

You made me look crazy.

You took out a fucking restraining order?

It just went too far.

I couldn't be a part of it.

But that doesn't mean I stopped caring.

I followed your progress, I checked up on you all the time.

-And I promise-- -No, you have no idea what it's like

to be watched by everyone, prodded, like nothing you say is true.

You're just a worthless, fucking parasite.

Look, I know you don't trust me, but...

I'll regain it. It's important to me.

Do you still have it?

Yeah, I never took it off.

[crying] I missed you, Jean. I missed you so much.

[continues crying]

I missed you, too, Melissa.

Hey.

It's gonna be okay, I promise.

Uh, hey, Catherine, it's Michael calling.

I'm sorry that it took me so long to call you back.

[Jean] Hi, Detective Kelly?

This is Jean Holloway returning your call.

[Kelly] Yeah, so I met with Tom Devins.

He hasn't seen her. He was actually pretty concerned.

He did mention an apartment on the Upper West Side.

Apparently she was staying there.

I'll go check it out, if I can ever get out of here tonight.

[breathing heavily]

[car beeps]

[chattering]

[footsteps approaching]

Hey.

-Dolly's inside. -Yeah.

I went there. I saw it.

Okay.

I don't know what the fuck you expect me to do.

This is not who I want to be, Jean.

Look, I can't lose you...

or Dolly.

It doesn't compare, nothing compares.

And I promise, I'm gonna be all in.

I'll commit to you entirely.

I'll give up everything.

Please believe me, Michael.

[man] She's an active member of our community and our PTA,

and she's also an expert on a subject that affects all of us.

Some of you already know that I'm a cognitive behavioral therapist,

and so I've been asked tonight to speak about how to prevent bullying in schools.

But it's really not that simple.

So, I don't want to rattle off statistics here.

I want to address the root causes of bullying,

and talk about what motivates that behavior.

It often comes from a deep-seated lack of stability.

A ground that was never really solid.

And yet, unsurprisingly, those who've been bullied

are more than likely going to become bullies themselves.

They want to inflict pain on others,

mostly because they don't want to feel the pain.

[car engine revving]

Perhaps they try to distract you through intimidation or lies,

so you don't see their truth, their guilt, their own shame.

It's deeply embedded from their history,

their experiences, even their upbringing.

And, lastly, there's the ones who want power,

because they just don't want to feel powerless any longer.

They need an outlet.

To really have power,

one must have it over something or someone.

But it's never really about that person, that situation.

Those people who truly desire power...

are actually only trying to control one thing...

themselves.

["Jean" by Oliver]

♪ Jean, Jean, roses are red ♪

♪ All the leaves have gone green ♪

♪ And the clouds are so low ♪

♪ You can touch them and so ♪

♪ Come out to the meadow, Jean ♪

♪ Jean ♪

♪ La la-la, la la-la, la la-la, la la ♪