All language subtitles for The.Favor.1994

[inaudible]

[inaudible]

[moaning]

[Gina]
MOMMY?
DO DEAD PEOPLE SWALLOW?

HUH?

WELL?

DO THEY?

[groans]

[clock ticking]

HUH?

NO.

THEN WHAT DO THEY DO
WITH THE WATER
IN THEIR MOUTH?

THEY STOP GETTING
WATER IN THEIR MOUTHS.

WHY?

[shushing]
DON'T WAKE DADDY.

[Peter]
DADDY'S AWAKE.

IT'S SATURDAY, HONEY.
GO BACK TO SLEEP.

DADDY, DADDY,
THEY DON'T LET YOU BE A PILOT
IF YOU WEAR GLASSES!

[Kathy]
OH, HANNAH!

OLLIE, OFF!

COME ON.
OFF THE BED, OLLIE.
OFF!

[Peter groaning]

I'VE BEEN PLAYING HANDBALL
WITH QUADRATIC
EQUATIONS ALL NIGHT.

YEAH? WHO WON?

I BETTER GET THIS
ARTICLE FINISHED,

OR I AM NEVER GOING TO GET
A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP.

[Peter and children laughing]

I'M WORKIN'
AT SCHOOL TODAY.

NO, NO, NO, YOU'VE GOT
THE KIDS TILL 2:00.

I GOT MY MUSEUM CLASS,
THEN I GOT TO DROP OFF

THE PAYROLL AT
AL'S DONUT HOLE.

I WANT CINNAMON...
NO, SUGAR!

[Gina]
WHITE ONES!

NO, NO, NO DONUTS
FOR YOU LITTLE PORKERS.

[Gina and Hannah]
OINK! OINK!

[Peter]
HONEY, UH, MAKE MY CRULLER
WITH WHITE ICING.

[Peter laughing]
2 MINUTES.

[Peter grunting]

[Kathy screams]

[Kathy]
IT'S NOT FAIR!

[children laughing]

IS THIS FAIR?

YES!YES!

OK, WHAT DO YOU
WANT FOR BREAKFAST?

I'M DEAD.

[Hannah giggling]WELL, THAT'S EASY.

[museum docent]
LOOK CAREFULLY
AT THE WAY RUBENS

USES PINKS AND WHITES
IN HIS WOMEN.

THEY HAVE THE ALABASTER CAST
OF A STATUE

WITH JUST ENOUGH
ROSY SHADES

TO MAKE THEM
EMINENTLY APPROACHABLE.

ALL I KNOW IS,
THEY MAKE ME FEEL THIN.

[museum docent]
AND OF COURSE,
THE FAMOUS RED HAIR.

MOST ART HISTORIANS BELIEVE
THIS WAS THE COLOR
OF HIS MISTRESS' HAIR.

SHE WAS ONE OF HIS FAVORITE
AND MOST...

EMILY, ARE WE LISTING LOVERS
OR ACQUAINTANCES?

YOU'RE DONE?

WELL, I'VE BEEN
MARRIED FOR 10 YEARS.

WHAT DO YOU WANT
FROM ME?

DIDN'T YOU
GO TO COLLEGE?

YEAH, BUT...

HA. "ONE-NIGHT STAND,
HANDSOME, GREAT IN BED."

AND YOU REGRETTED IT?

OH, HIM. HE ASKED ME
TO BRING
A FRIEND NEXT TIME.

AND YOU CAN'T
REMEMBER HIS NAME?

[mumbling]
LISTEN, WHEN
YOU'VE HAD OVER...

THE NAMES
GET A LITTLE FUZZY.

OH, GOD!

"JEAN-CLAUDE."
OH, IS THIS THE GUY
IN SAINT MARTIN?

[scoffs]

YEAH. YOU SPENT
THE WEEKEND IN THE CARIBBEAN

AND DIDN'T I GO
TO, UH, MARINELAND?

YOU CAME HOME
WITH A PLASTIC SHARK.

I CAME HOME WITH CRABS.

[both laughing]

[museum docent
clearing throat]

[museum docent]
AND NOW,
IF YOU LADIES WILL FOLLOW ME.

[museum docent]
THIS FRENCH SCULPTURE
IS FROM THE 20TH CENTURY

AND BY
EDMOND LOUISE COLETTE.

THIS SCULPTURE EPITOMIZES
THE ART MOVEMENT

FROM ART NOUVEAU TO ART DECO.

WHO WAS THE BEST,
AND WHY?

[museum docent]
THERE'S AN EMPHASIS
ON THE SIMPLE LINES...

HOWARD.

BECAUSE HE JUST ADORED SEX
AND COULDN'T GET ENOUGH?

BECAUSE WE WERE IN LOVE.

I'VE DONE THAT.

OH, LISTEN TO YOU.

IT MUST BE HELL BEING
IN A GREAT MARRIAGE.

IT IS WHEN YOU'VE BEEN
INVITED TO YOUR 15TH
HIGH SCHOOL REUNION

AND IT KICKS OFF
WILD SEXUAL FANTASIES
ABOUT YOUR FIRST LOVE.

[whistles]

OLD NUMERO UNO,ROBERT?

NO! TOMMY AND I
NEVER DID IT.

WE DID EVERYTHING
BUT FOR 2 YEARS.

WHAT?

HEY, YOU'RE
FROM THE COAST.

IN OHIO, YOU DON'T DO IT.
I WAS SAVING IT.

FOR WHO?
ROBERT HORNSWATH?

EVIDENTLY.

SO, ARE YOU GOING?

I DON'T KNOW.
I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM
IN 15 YEARS.

HE LIVES IN DENVER NOW.

PROBABLY WOULDN'T
EVEN BE THERE.

CAN YOU RECOVER
FROM A FACE-LIFT
IN 5 MONTHS?

IS THIS SOMETHING
WE ARE GOING TO WORRY ABOUT

OR SOMETHING WE'RE GOING
TO HAVE FUN WITH?

WELL, YOU'LL HAVE FUN.

I KNOW I'M NEVER
GOING TO HEAR
THE END OF IT NOW.

OH, EMILY, WHAT IS
THE MATTER WITH ME?

EVERY DAY, I FANTASIZE
ABOUT JUMPING ON
A PLANE TO DENVER,

FINDING TOMMY,
AND SCREWING HIM SILLY!

PARDON ME.

[both laughing]

[Kathy]
OH, WHAT DO YOU
THINK OF THIS?

[Gina]
GOD, THAT'S DISGUSTING, MOM.

[Kathy]
PETER?

HMM?

[Kathy]
HMM.

[woman chattering on TV]

OH, NOW, WHAT DO YOU
THINK OF THIS ONE?

THAT'S MORE EMILY.

HEY, YOU KNOW,
BOOKKEEPERS
CAN BE CHIC. PETER?

OH.

[Gina]
YEAH, SHE'S NOT WEARING A BRA.

CAN I SEE THAT, PLEASE?

NO.

UH, BEDTIME, YEAH.
YEAH, THAT'S IT. BEDTIME.

TOMORROW'S MY BIRTHDAY!WELL, I KNOW
IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY.

AND YOUR DADDY AND I HAVE
A LOT OF GETTING READY TO DO
FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY.

BEDTIME.I DON'T WANT TO GO TO BED.

[Kathy]
YOU NEVER WANT TO GO TO BED.

GOOD NIGHT, DADDY!

GOOD NIGHT, SWEETIE.
I'LL BE UP IN A MINUTE.

[Kathy]
BRUSH YOUR TEETH.

[Gina]
OK.

[balloon inflating]

[clears throat]

YOU DROPPED THOSE.

[balloon squealing]

I KNOW THAT TUNE.

♪[harmonica playing]

AH.

[squeals]

CAN WE DO IT
WITHOUT KISSING?

SURE. OH, YEAH. COME HERE.

[moans]

CAN WE DO IT WITHOUT MOVING?

I'M EXHAUSTED.

OH. GOOD. ME, TOO.
I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO.

NOT ME. HOW ABOUT YOU?

[grumbling]

WE CAN DO IT TOMORROW.YEAH.

NOPE.

AFTER GINA'S PARTY,
I DOUBT IT.

MONDAY.

DEPARTMENT MEETING.
GOES LATE.

TUESDAY.

YEAH, LET'S SHOOT
FOR TUESDAY.

THAT WAS NICE.

IT'S ALWAYS NICE.

LIPSTICK. YEAH.

[siren wailing]

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

TO DO MY TAXES
AND LEARN SPANISH.

I NEED TO SLEEP, ELLIOTT.

YOU CAN SLEEP HERE, YOU KNOW.

NO, I CAN'T.
YOU'RE ALWAYS DRAWING ME.

WELL, YOU WASTE A LOT
OF TIME SLEEPING.

I LIKE SLEEPING.

IT MAKES
THE YEARS GO BY FASTER.

THAT'S A LOUSY ATTITUDE
FOR A WOMAN BARELY PAST 30,

EVERYTHING AHEAD OF HER.

35 MORE YEARS OF FINDING
THE PERFECT PIECE OF CULTURE

FOR OVER MRS. KONZULMAN'S
SECTIONAL, UNMARRED
BY LOVE OR FAMILY.

WELL, LEAVE ME
IF YOU MUST,

BUT IF YOU'RE STILL GOING
TO CHECK OUT THAT
DENVER GALLERY ON FRIDAY,

I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU
TOMORROW SOMETIME.

CAN'T TOMORROW.

TOMORROW'S MY GODDAUGHTER'S
BIRTHDAY PARTY.

I LIKE BIRTHDAY PARTIES.

[laughing]
NO. YOU'RE NOT INVITED.

ARE YOU SAYING
YOU'RE ASHAMED OF ME?

EVERYONE THERE IS
BRINGING THEIR CHILDREN.

I'LL BE DATING ONE.

YES.

UM, I'M 26.

I DON'T KNOW WHY
YOU'RE PRESSING THIS.

YOU'LL JUST GET BORED
AND WANNA LEAVE.

WITH PIN THE TAIL
ON THE DONKEY? NO WAY.

ALL RIGHT. COME.

I WILL. THANK YOU.

ELLIOTT!

HMM?

[scoffs]

[groaning]

I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU USED MY LIPSTICK.

THIS IS GOING
TO COST ME $100.

$100 FOR A LIPSTICK?

NO, A TRIP TO
THE COSMETIC COUNTER.

[Elliott chuckling]
RIGHT.

[hooting]

[children laughing]

[Mr. Lucky]
IS EVERYBODY HAVING FUN?

[children cheering]

HE'S CUTE.

WHERE'S MY HAT?

[children]
RIGHT THERE!

HAVE YOU SEEN MY HAT?

RIGHT THERE!

[exclaiming]

I'M GOING TO GET
ANOTHER, UH, APPLE JUICE.

OH, AND HE'S GOT A SPECIAL
BIRTHDAY HAT FOR YOU!

[laughing]
THERE YOU GO!

AND HE'S GOT
SOMETHING FOR YOU!

HANNAH,
WHEN IS YOUR BIRTHDAY?

3 MORE MONTHS.

3 MONTHS?
I CAN'T WAIT THAT LONG.

ME, TOO.

I CANNOT WAIT TO GIVE YOU
YOUR PRESENT FOR 3 MONTHS.

YOU CAN WRITE
ANYTHING YOU WANT IN THERE:
YOUR SECRETS, YOUR DREAMS,

AND ONLY YOU CAN READ THEM.

[exclaims]

EMILY, IT'S WONDERFUL!

[Hannah]
MOM! MOM!

[laughing]
MR. LUCKY'S GOT ONE FOR YOU!
THERE YOU GO!

[laughing]

AND MR. LUCKY'S
GOT ONE FOR YOU!

THERE YOU GO!

[laughing]

WHO ELSE WANTS ONE?

[children]
I DO!

HEY!

HOW'S IT GOING, CHEF?

CRAZY.

INTERESTING, UH,
BUNCH OVER THERE.

OH, YEAH. THAT'S PART
OF A PARENTING GROUP.

PERSONALLY,
I'D RATHER BELONG
TO A SATANIC CULT.

PROBABLY BE EASIER
ON THE KIDS, YES.

[laughs]

BOY, DO YOU KNOW, THEY REALLY
LIKE THESE SUCKERS RAW?

SO HOW OLD IS,
UH, UH...

[people chattering]

HI.

HOW ARE YOU?

GREAT PARTY.

OH, THANKS, ELLIOTT.

YEAH, I PARTICULARLY LIKED
THE PART WHEN MR. LUCKY
COULDN'T FIND HIS HAT.

OH, I NEVER
GET TIRED OF THAT.

HEY, CAN YOU MAKE PURPLE?

PURPLE?UH, MILK.

DO YOU WANT, UH,
MAGENTA PURPLE
OR, UH, FUCHSIA PURPLE?

EMILY SAID YOU WERE GOOD.

UH-OH. WHAT ELSE DOES
OUR FRIEND SAY?

THAT, UH,
YOU'RE A GREAT DANCER.

I'LL SETTLE FOR THAT.

SO HOW OLD IS, UH, YOUR--PIN THE TAIL ON THE DONKEY.

I FORGOT TO PUT
UP THE DONKEY.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

PETER! DIDN'T
I JUST SEE HIM?

PETER!YOU KNOW WHAT?

WE REALLY HAVE
TO BE GOING.

BUT AREN'T YOU
GONNA STAY FOR CAKE?

UH, CAKE?

OH, I'M SORRY. JEEZ!

THANK YOU.

YOU'RE GOING?UH-HUH.

[mumbling]YOU DON'T WANT
ANY CAKE?

THANK YOU.

WOW. PURPLE!

BOY, IF YOU'RE GOING
TO HAVE A HOT FLING,

YOU MIGHT AS WELL HAVE IT
WITH SOMEONE
WHO LOOKS LIKE THAT.

OH! DONKEY.

[Emily]
YOU SAID YOU WANTED
TO MEET MY FRIENDS.

I GUESS THEY WEREN'T ENOUGH
TO HOLD YOUR ATTENTION.

THEY SEEM LIKE
VERY NICE PEOPLE.

WE DON'T EXACTLY
HAVE A LOT IN COMMON.
SO WHAT?

NO. YOU DON'T.

[groaning]
YOU MAKE THAT SOUND
LIKE AN ACCUSATION.

COME ON, EM.LOOK, YOU SAID
YOU WANTED TO COME,

BUT WHAT YOU MEANT WAS
YOU WANTED TO COME AND GO.

I'M NOT LEAVING. THIS IS MY
GODDAUGHTER'S BIRTHDAY PARTY.

AND I'M STAYING TILL
THE LAST PRESENT IS OPEN
AND THE LAST KID GOES HOME.

ALL RIGHT. YOU WANT
ME TO STAY, I'LL STAY.

I NEVER WANTED YOU TO COME
IN THE FIRST PLACE.

ALL RIGHT.

I GET THE PICTURE.
YOU'LL GET HOME ALL RIGHT?

KATHY WILL TAKE ME.OK.

REMEMBER WHEN WE SAID
WE WOULD STOP THIS
WHEN IT WASN'T FUN ANYMORE?

MMM-HMM.

ARE WE HAVING FUN NOW?

NO. MMM-MMM.

[Mr. Lucky shouting]

[children cheering]

WHOA! CAREFUL, LIANA.

[Ollie barking]

I KNOW, I KNOW.

ELLIOTT LEAVE?

WHY CAN'T I BE
ATTRACTED TO A NICE,
SOLID PROFESSIONAL?

YOU GOT ANY
DIVORCED M.B.A.'S AROUND?

I LIKED HIM.
I THOUGHT HE WAS
KIND OF DISARMING.

WE BROKE UP.

IN A PHONEY
SORT OF WAY.

AND LOOK WHAT
HE CALLS PURPLE.

YEAH, YOU CAN DO
BETTER THAN THAT.

ANYWAY,
HIS BOD WASN'T THAT GREAT.

YES, IT WAS.

YES, IT WAS. MMM-HMM.

[both sighing]

ARE YOU OK?

YEAH.

GREAT PARTY, MOM.

HEY, COME TO DINNER FRIDAY.

I CAN'T. I'M SUPPOSED TO BE
IN DENVER ON FRIDAY.

DENVER?

ELLIOTT'S GOT A SHOW THERE
IN A COUPLE MONTHS.

TOMMY'S DENVER?

EMILY, YOU GOTTA
LOOK HIM UP FOR ME.

[laughs]
AND SAY WHAT?

HE'S-- HE'S GOT
A SPORTING GOODS STORE

RIGHT DOWNTOWN:
ANDREWS SPORTING.

P-PRETEND YOU'RE--
YOU'RE BUYING A GUN.

KATHY.

YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THIS MAN
SINCE YOU WERE 16.

HE'S PROBABLY FAT,
BALD, AND UGLY.

GREAT! WHAT BETTER WAY
TO PUT ME OUT
OF MY SUFFERING?

THINK ABOUT IT.
WHY SPOIL A GREAT FANTASY?

'CAUSE IT'S BEGINNING
TO MAKE MY MARRIAGE
LOOK LIKE SLUDGE.

YOU HAVE
A WONDERFUL MARRIAGE.

EXACTLY.

OH, COME ON, DO ME A FAVOR.
JUST--JUST LOOK AT HIM.

MAYBE.

THE LAST THING
ARE THESE TWO THERE.

[receptionist]
JAMISON THOMAS GALLERY.

[receptionist chattering]

WHICH ONE GOES ON THE LEFT?

HMM.

IT'S NOT ENOUGH
JUST TO LOOK HIM UP.

THIS ONE. DEFINITELY.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I HAVE TO FIND OUT
WHAT IT'S LIKE.

YOU'VE GOTTA
SLEEP WITH HIM.

KATHY, I'VE GOT A PLANE
TO CATCH IN 30 MINUTES.

ARE THESE THE INVOICES?

EMILY, LISTEN TO ME.

SOMEONE'S GOT TO
COMPLETE THE MISSION,
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

I CAN'T SLEEP WITH TOMMY,
BUT YOU CAN.

IT'S THE ONLY WAY.

[laughing]
DON'T SAY ANOTHER WORD.
I'M YOUR GAL.

YOU'RE NOT
TAKING ME SERIOUSLY.

YES, I AM.

TO GO TO DENVER
AND NOT SLEEP WITH YOUR
HIGH-SCHOOL BOYFRIEND?

NOW, THAT'S STUPID.

NO, YOU DON'T SEEM
TO UNDERSTAND.
THIS IS REALLY GETTING TO ME.

KATHY.

I'M JUST ASKING YOU
A SIMPLE FAVOR.

UH, I'LL TRY
TO LOOK HIM UP, OK?

OH, THANK YOU!

OH, AND SATURDAY,
COME STRAIGHT TO MY HOUSE
FROM THE AIRPORT.

OH, AND WHEN YOU MEET HIM,
DON'T WEAR THIS.

I HATE THIS ON YOU.

[crickets chirruping]

[Gina]
3 PLUS 3 IS 6.

1 PLUS 1 IS 2.

[Gina]
10 PLUS 10 IS 20.

[gasps]
WAIT, MOM.
GIVE US A FEW MORE MINUTES!

IT'S 8:00 SATURDAY NIGHT.
YOU KNOW THE RULE.

OK, BED. COME ON, HANNAH.

THERE YOU GO.
DID YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH?

UH-HUH.ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU.

HOW ABOUT YOU?
DID YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH?

YEAH.GOOD GIRL.

GOOD NIGHT, SWEETHEART.

GOOD NIGHT, MOMMY.

[Gina]
GOOD NIGHT, MOMMY.

COME ON, OLLIE.

[whimpers]

[Gina]
GOOD NIGHT, OLLIE.

DID I MENTION
THAT I LOVE YOU?

I LOVE YOU, TOO, MOM.

I LOVE YOU.

GOOD NIGHT.

♪[playing Blues riff
on harmonica]

♪ THE ATTRACTOR
SPLITS IN 2 ♪

♪[plays blues riff]

♪ MAGNETIC FIELDS DRIFT ♪

♪[plays blues riff]

♪ IMPULSE BECOMES ERRATIC ♪

♪[plays blues riff]

♪ SHE WALKED IN THE ROOM ♪

♪[plays blues riff]

♪ SO SHE COULD RUB HIS NECK ♪

♪[plays blues riff]

♪[harmonica warbling]

[groans]
♪ THEN SHE GAVE
HIM A LITTLE KISS ♪

♪[Kathy humming blues riff]

♪ SOMETHING LIKE THIS ♪

♪[Peter humming blues riff]

♪ THEN ON MONDAY,
SHE CALLS HIM ON THE PHONE ♪

♪ SAYS SHE'LL
BRING THE KIDS HOME ♪

FROM BALLET LESSONS SO THAT
I CAN STAY AT SCHOOL
AND CORRECT PAPERS?

FAT CHANCE.

[both laughing]

♪[plays blues riff]

OH, I'M SO GLAD
I'M MARRIED TO YOU.

WHAT BROUGHT THAT ON?

YOUR MUSIC.
IT'S SO-- IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

IT'S...

REALLY?OH, YEAH.

YOU LIE LIKE A RUG.

I DON'T LIE!

[doorbell ringing]

OOH, I'LL GET IT.

NO, NO. THAT'S EMILY.

SO?

IT WAS A GOOD TRIP.

DID YOU SEE ANYBODY I KNOW?

♪[Peter plays blues riff]

HEY, EM.

♪[Peter playing harmonica]

SPILL IT.

YOU SURE YOU
WANT TO HEAR THIS?

HE'S A FAT SLOB.MMM-HMM.

EMILY, WHAT--WHAT IS THE POINT
IF YOU DON'T TELL ME?

IS HE-- IS HE MARRIED
WITH 5 KIDS?

IS HE A BUM? IS HE DEAD?
WHAT? SEE?

LOOK, I'M JUST
MAKING MYSELF CRAZY.

YOU SURE?

OH, TELL ME!

YOU DID ME THE FAVOR.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I'M TALKING ABOUT TOM.

THE BIG, STRONG HUNK
IN A RED FLANNEL SHIRT,

WITH A TONGUE LIKE VELVET
AND THE ARMS
YOU COULD DIE IN.

YOU MET HIM?

NO WONDER YOU ALWAYS
FANTASIZE ABOUT HIM.

THIS ONE'S A MAN!

CAPITAL M-A-N, MAN.

♪[playing harmonica]

IF THERE WERE A NUCLEAR WAR,
TOM'S THE ONE
I'D WANT IN MY BOMB SHELTER.

HE SURE GREW UP.

ACTUALLY, IF THERE
WASN'T A NUCLEAR WAR,

I'D WANT HIM IN
MY BOMB SHELTER.

YOU DON'T HAVE
A BOMB SHELTER.

AND GET UP
OFF THE FLOOR.

KATHY.

KATHY, THIS MAN MADE
ME FEEL LIKE A WOMAN.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WE TALKED.
WE LAUGHED.
WE DANCED.

SO THE TWO OF YOU...

ALL NIGHT.

♪[Peter playing harmonica]

HONEY, WE'RE TRYING
TO TALK IN HERE!

OK.

TELL ME EVERYTHING.

[Emily]
I COULD STILL SEE HIM
AS THE PLANE TOOK OFF.

[Emily moans]

I COULD STILL SMELL HIM.

[moans]

THAT'S EVERYTHING.

AND TO THINK I ALMOST
DIDN'T EVEN CALL HIM.

OH, KATHY!

THE MAN KNEW WHAT
I WANTED BEFORE I DID.

HMM.

YOU SEEM UPSET.

OH, NO, NO,
NOT AT ALL. MMM-MMM.

NO. COULDN'T HAVE
WORKED OUT BETTER.

SEE? IT'S FINISHED.

HE'S OUT OF MY MIND,
AND I HAVE YOU
TO THANK FOR IT.

I NEVER HAVE TO
THINK OF HIM AGAIN, EVER!

YOU'RE MAD AT ME.

KATHY, I DID YOU
A FAVOR.

IT WAS YOUR IDEA. YOU TOLD ME
TO SLEEP WITH HIM.

ONCE. ONCE! NOT 8 TIMES.

THE SHOWER DOESN'T COUNT.
WE DIDN'T--

OH, CAN'T YOU DO IT ON A BED
LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE?

I NEVER TOLD YOU TO DO IT
ON A BUTCHER BLOCK!

KATHY.

THIS MAY COME AS
A SURPRISE TO YOU,
BUT I DID IT FOR ME.

WAIT!

DID YOU TALK ABOUT ME AT ALL?

YOU'VE GOT
PETER AND THE KIDS.

LET ME HAVE MY ONE
LOUSY NIGHT IN DENVER.

WELL, UH...
DID HE ASK FOR MY NUMBER?

YEAH, HE ASKED
FOR YOUR NUMBER.

[knife clinking]

♪[humming]

GOOD NIGHT, PETER.

YOU LEAVING ALREADY, EM?

MMM-HMM.

WANT SOMETHING TO EAT?

NAH.

[Peter]
SURE?YEAH.

YOU'RE MISSING OUT.

SEE YOU LATER.

ALL RIGHT.

I GUESS IT'S
YOU AND ME, BUDDY.

[Ollie whines]

♪[humming]

HEY.

WHAT WAS THAT ALL
ABOUT WITH EMILY?

OH, NOTHING.

A TEACHER FROM
PRINCETON STARTED TODAY.

JOE DUBIN.

HE'S A BRILLIANT GUY.

THEY JUST THROW
GRANTS AT HIM.

HE STICKS WITH ALL THOSE BASIC
LINEAR QUESTIONS LIKE:

"HOW BIG IS IT?" AND
"HOW LONG DOES IT LAST?"

SO HE GETS
A LOT OF EQUIPMENT.

HE GETS A LOT
OF ATTENTION.

BUT I DON'T KNOW,
I THINK HE TOTALLY IGNORES
THE DISORDERLY BEHAVIOR

OF A LOT OF
IMPORTANT, UH, PHENOMENA.

CAN'T DEAL WITH IT.

DOESN'T KNOW WHAT
TO MAKE OF IT, RIGHT?

I DON'T KNOW.
WITH MY STUFF, YOU KNOW,

THIS EQUATION
THAT I'M TESTING

ABOUT REVERSING
MAGNETIC FIELDS...

YOU KNOW, WITH THAT STUFF,
I GOTTA DEAL WITH
DISORDERLY BEHAVIOR.

BECAUSE, I MEAN,
PATTERNS CAN BE STABLE,

BUT WHEN THEY'RE
REALLY FASCINATING
IS WHEN THEY'RE

UNSTABLE.

CHAOTIC.

WILD AND ABANDONED.

HEY.

OLIVES.

SO YOU LOOK
AT THE PATTERNS.

LOGIC GETS YOU SO FAR,
THEN YOU GOTTA
GO ON A FEELING.

YOU'VE GOT TO
FOLLOW YOUR INTUITION.

SEE, I'VE GOT A FEELING
THAT THERE IS
A POINT OF CRISIS

IN STABLE SYSTEMS
OF MAGNETIC FIELDS,

WHERE SMALL
CHANGES GET MAGNIFIED,
AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN

EVERYTHING GOES AMOK.

I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S JUST--JUST A FEELING.

[tapping]

[whines]

SEE, THAT'S WHY I SAY
THAT FRACTAL GEOMETRY
IS A LOT LIKE THE BLUES.

THE PASSION,
THE POWER, THE MYSTERY AND...

I DON'T KNOW.

SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO LOOK
AT THINGS IN THE PERIPHERY

BECAUSE IF YOU
LOOK RIGHT AT IT,
YOU DON'T SEE WHAT'S THERE.

OH, I'M SORRY.

ARE YOU HUNGRY?

I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU
ONE OF THESE.

♪[organ playing]

[inaudible]

HONEY.

WHAT?

GIVE SOMEBODY ELSE
A CHANCE, HUH?

BEAUTIFUL SERMON.

[pastor]
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

[Gina and Hannah laughing]
BEAUTIFUL SERMON.

[inaudible]BOBBY, TIE YOUR SHOE.

[Kathy]
HANNAH, HANNAH, HERE!

[Peter exclaims]

[pastor]
IT'S ALWAYS A TRAGEDY

TO SEE A YOUNG MAN CUT DOWN
IN THE BLOOM OF HIS LIFE.

HE WAS A GOOD FATHER
AND A WONDERFUL HUSBAND,

ALTHOUGH
SOMETIMES INATTENTIVE.

HE ALWAYS
PERFORMED SATISFACTORILY,

BUT NOT WITH THE ENTHUSIASM
OF THE EARLY YEARS.

NONETHELESS, IT WAS A CRUEL,
AND SHOCKING BLOW
TO THOSE HE LEFT BEHIND.

WE ASK GOD TO
COMFORT AND RESTORE KATHY,

EASING HER THROUGH
THE NEXT FEW MONTHS,

WHICH I KNOW WILL BE A TRYING
AND LONELY TIME FOR HER.

♪[wedding music playing]

[Gina]
MOMMY?

MOMMY?HMM?

WHOA.

[people gasping]

ARE YOU OK?

YEAH.

[pastor]
CAREFUL.YEAH.

[people chattering]

TA-DA, WE'RE OK.

I'M HAVING
A HARD TIME WITH THIS.

[Peter]
YOU FORGOT ME!
YOU FORGOT ME!

THANK YOU!

READY?YEAH.

BOY, THAT SERMON...

BUT YOU SEEMED TO BE
LISTENING TO EVERY WORD.

DID I?YEAH.

[Gina]
HANNAH, WAIT FOR ME!

I WOULD SAY... NOT JUST ME,
OF COURSE, OTHERS WOULD SAY,

WHEN I WAS AT PRINCETON...
GRAZIE.

[chuckling]
WHEN I LEFT PRINCETON, AND
AGAIN, IT'S NOT JUST BECAUSE

I WAS CHAIRMAN
OF THE DEPARTMENT,
BUT WHEN I LEFT,

I BELIEVE IT WAS THE FINEST
MATH DEPARTMENT
IN THE COUNTRY.

[clock chiming]IT WAS? HMM?

YOU SAY IT WAS THE FINEST?
BECAUSE...

I LEFT.

NEVER MIND WHY.

ALL RIGHT. I'LL TELL YOU.

RAN INTO
A LITTLE WOMAN TROUBLE.

GRAD, UNDERGRAD,
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

DON'T ASK ME, JOE.

I'M THE FATHER
OF 2 DAUGHTERS.

[Joe]
YEAH, THERE'S A HEADACHE.

YOU DON'T EXPECT
THEM TO BE VIRGINS

BY THE TIME
THEY GO TO COLLEGE, DO YOU?

[Peter]
HONEY.

WHAT?

THAT'S
A GOOD ANSWER.

[phone ringing]NO. I...
IT'S JUST THAT THEY--

OH, I'LL GET IT.NO, I'LL GET IT.

NO, NO, HONEY, HONEY, HONEY.
GOT IT! GOT IT! I GOT IT!

I GOT IT.

[chuckling]
BOY, SHE SURE COMES ALIVE
WHEN THE PHONE RINGS.

MIGHT I SUGGEST LITHIUM?

NO.

FOR KATHY,
ASPIRIN IS A PSYCHEDELIC.

HELLO.

[Emily mimicking Tom]
HI. THIS IS TOM.

THAT'S NOT FUNNY.

YOU'VE LOST YOUR
SENSE OF HUMOR.

I'LL LAUGH WHEN IT'S FUNNY.

I JUST WANTED TO REMIND YOU
OF ELLIOTT'S
OPENING ON FRIDAY.

DENNIS HOPPER WILL BE THERE.

PUT YOUR NAME ON THE LIST?

OK. I'M NOT SURE
I CAN MAKE IT.

WHATEVER.

[dial tone]

BYE.

ANYBODY BEEN, UH, HANGING UP
WHEN YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?

YEAH, HER MOTHER.

[laughing]

DON'T TELL KATHY.

WHO WAS THAT?

EMILY.

OH, GOSH, COULDN'T
YOU TWO GUYS MAKE UP?

OH, WELL, YOU KNOW,
UH, HISTORICALLY SPEAKING,
WHEN 2 WOMEN FIGHT,

IT'S USUALLY OVER A MAN.

OOH, WHOA! OK.OH, I'M SORRY.

[Peter]
GOOD SHOT. 2 POINTS.

EXCUSE ME. I'M SORRY.
I'LL JUST GET A TOWEL.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

MMM-HMM.

♪[pop music playing]

[people chattering]

DOES EMILY KNOW
DENNIS HOPPER?

I DON'T KNOW.

'CAUSE WE COULD
BE TALKING TO HIM,
YOU KNOW.

DOES THE GUY TALK?

I DON'T KNOW.
HE'S SHORT, I KNOW THAT.

SHORT? HE LOOKS VERY TALL
IN THE MOVIES.

NO, NO, NO, NO,
HE'S VERY SHORT.

OH, HONEY,
YOU'RE SO GOOD AT THIS STUFF.

YOU ALWAYS KNOW
WHAT TO SAY.

OOH, THERE'S THE BAR.

GO. GO.

I'LL START THERE.

[people chattering]

[inaudible]

WOULD YOU ALL EXCUSE ME?
ENJOY THE SHOW.

IT'S ALL YOURS.

I ALMOST HATE
TO PART WITH IT.

YOU'VE MADE A GREAT
DISCOVERY IN ELLIOTT.

YOU HAVE A GOOD EYE,
MRS. KONZULMAN.

CAN I HAVE A MOMENT
WITH YOU, MISS EMILY?

ELLIOTT, THIS IS
MRS. KONZULMAN.

SHE JUST BOUGHT
THIS PIECE.

OH, GREAT, GREAT.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT.

I WILL. IT'S SO PRETTY.

HMM.

YES. YES,
WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU--

ELLIOTT. WE HAVE SOME
BUSINESS TO ATTEND TO.

ENJOY IT.

[Elliott]
"PRETTY?"
DID SHE SAY "PRETTY"?

NO, ELLIOTT,
SHE SAID "EVOCATIVE."

IT IS EVOCATIVE AND LYRICAL.

IT IS EVOCATIVELY LYRICAL.

WELL, THANK YOU.

AND MIGHT I ADD,
YOU'RE LOOKING

VERY EVOCATIVELY
LYRICAL TONIGHT.

SO YOU WANT TO
CONSUMMATE THE SALE, HMM?

HMM?

NO.

I MISS YOU.

I MISS THIS.

I'M SURE YOU DO.

ALL RIGHT, EMILY.

I SCREWED UP AT
GINA'S BIRTHDAY PARTY.

I'M SORRY.
BUT THAT'S IT? NO MORE FUN?

I'VE HAD PLENTY OF FUN.

I NEED SOMETHING MORE.

OK.

OK?

SO USE ME TILL
THE RIGHT GUY COMES ALONG.

I THINK HE HAS.

THAT'S ALL YOU HAD TO SAY.

SAY, HAVE YOU SEEN,
UH, DENNIS HOPPER?

BASICALLY, I ADDED
ANOTHER NAME TO MY LIST,
WHICH I CERTAINLY DIDN'T NEED,

AND I CAN TELL YOU,
IT'S ANOTHER REGRET.

WHAT CAN I SAY, KATHY?

WE WERE SWEPT AWAY.

TOMMY DOESN'T GET SWEPT AWAY.

WE SPENT 2 YEARS
NOT GETTING SWEPT AWAY.

OF COURSE, I DON'T STRIP
AS SOON AS I GET
INTO A MAN'S APARTMENT.

NO. YOU ONLY
PIMP YOUR FRIENDS.

YOU KNOW WHAT I REGRET
ABOUT THIS WHOLE THING?

I REGRET THAT I TOLD YOU,
AND I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU
ANYTHING ANYMORE.

WHOA, $11,000?

[people chattering]

[inaudible]

I'M SORRY ABOUT
YOU AND EMILY.

I HOPE YOU GUYS
CAN STILL BE FRIENDS.

YEAH, ME, TOO.

ALTHOUGH IT CAN BE
HARD BEING FRIENDS

IF, SAY, IF EITHER OF YOU
FINDS SOMEONE ELSE.

YOU DATING ANYBODY NEW?

NO, I'M NOT.

HMM. AND EMILY,
YEAH, HMM...

WELL, SHE IS.

BUT I DON'T HAVE
TO TELL YOU THAT.

THE MAN FROM DENVER?

DENVER? SHE MET HIM
IN DENVER?

WHAT--WHAT HAS SHE TOLD YOU?

NOTHING. NOTHING. WHAT HAS
SHE TOLD YOU, ANYTHING?

AH, THERE YOU ARE.

HONEY,
YOU REMEMBER ELLIOTT?

YEAH. IT'S GREAT STUFF.

HI, PETER. THANK YOU.

MMM.

IT'S A LITTLE STEEP,
BUT IT'S PRETTY.

PRETTY?

YOU KNOW, IT'S
A LITTLE CLAUSTROPHOBIC

IN HERE FOR ME.
CAN WE GO?

YEAH.

GREAT. REALLY,
OH, GOOD SHOW.

ELLIOTT, BEAUTIFUL,
BEAUTIFUL WORK.

I NEVER SAW DENNIS HOPPER.

HELLO, LOVER.

I'M SO GLAD I CAME.

YOU KNOW,
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU
AND KATHY ARE FRIENDS.

YOU'RE SO MUCH-- SO MUCH
MORE BEAUTIFUL AND
SOPHISTICATED THAN SHE IS.

I FEEL SORRY FOR HER.

SHE'S SUCH
A PATHETIC LITTLE THING.

YEAH. I CAN
BARELY REMEMBER HER.

WELL...

HER HIPS HAVE REALLY SPREAD
SINCE SHE HAD THE CHILDREN.

HMM.

[screaming]

[shushing]

HONEY, WHAT?

OH, IT'S HORRIBLE.

OH, WAS IT A NIGHTMARE, HUH?
IT'S OVER.

IT'S ALL OVER.NO, IT'S NOT.

I WISH IT WAS,
BUT IT'S NOT.

[shushing]

WANT SOME WATER OR SOMETHING?

PROMISE ME.
JUST PROMISE ME!WHAT?

I SAID PROMISE!

OK, OK, I PROMISE.

WHAT?

FIND SOMEONE ELSE
FOR EMILY.

THAT'S YOUR NIGHTMARE?

SHE'S LONELY.
SHE DOESN'T HAVE ANYBODY.

SHE DOESN'T NEED MY HELP.

SEE, MEN FIND HER
VERY ATTRACTIVE.

YOU PROMISED!

OK. OK.

YEAH. I'LL
THINK ABOUT IT. UM...

OK, YEAH. YUP.

YEAH, UH...

NO.

SO, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH,
AND WHEN ASKED ABOUT THIS

[laughing]
COMPARISON TO EINSTEIN,
PROFESSOR DUBIN SAID:

"EINSTEIN FLUNKED MATH.
I DIDN'T."

[laughing]

YOU CAN KEEP THAT ONE.
I'VE GOT COPIES.

I CAN'T FIND MY KEYS.

OH, CAN'T WAIT
TO GET ME INSIDE, EH?

JOE, IT'S LATE.

LATE, YES. WELL, LET ME
ASK YOU THIS, THOUGH,

YOU REALLY DON'T WANT
ME TO LEAVE, DO YOU?

I HAVE TO GET UP
EARLY TOMORROW.MMM-HMM.

IT'S 8:50.

THEN HOW ABOUT
A LITTLE GOOD NIGHT FUCK?

HMM? HMM?

GOOD NIGHT, FUCK.

[laughing]

THAT'S GOOD, EMILY,
YOU LITTLE MINX!

[doorknob rattling]

[Joe]
ALL RIGHT. COME ON, NOW.

ALL RIGHT, DON'T--DON'T
MAKE ME BEG, OK?

COME ON, 'CAUSE
I'M NOT THE TYPE.
IT DOESN'T SUIT ME.

ALL RIGHT. I'LL BEG.
EMILY! EMILY.

EMILY.

[chuckling]

[coughs]

WHOOPS.

HONEY, WHEN'S DINNER?

WHEN'S DINNER?
YOU WANT TO KNOW
WHEN DINNER IS?

I'LL TELL YOU WHEN IT IS.
IT'S WHEN WE'RE
GOOD AND READY.

THAT'S WHEN DINNER IS.

WE'RE HAVING BROWNIE
STEW TONIGHT, REMEMBER?

OR DO YOU JUST REMEMBER
HOW TO BE WAITED ON
AND HOW TO STUFF YOUR FACE?

IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK
I DO EVERYDAY
WHEN I LEAVE THE HOUSE?

I GO SOMEPLACE
AND I STUFF MY FACE?

I'M SORRY I'M TAKING SO LONG.

OH, HONEY, NO.
YOU'RE DOING GREAT.

I WORK HARD FOR THE FAMILY.

I'M KILLING MYSELF TRYING
TO SEPARATE OSCILLATIONS
ON FRACTAL BOUNDARIES.

HOW VERY MEANINGFUL.

"HOW VERY MEANINGFUL."

THAT BRINGS UP
AN INTERESTING QUESTION

BECAUSE WHAT IS "MEANINGFUL"?

REGARD FOR EACH OTHER,
THAT COULD BE MEANINGFUL.

LOVE, FRIENDSHIP,

TOLERANCE.

THOSE THINGS,
THEY CAN BE MEANINGFUL.

LOOKING AT YOUR HUSBAND
WITH COMPASSION IN YOUR EYES

INSTEAD OF RESENTMENT,
THAT COULD BE MEANINGFUL.

YOU ACT LIKE I DID
SOMETHING WRONG
OR LET YOU DOWN IN SOME WAY.

AND IF I HAVE,
YOU SHOULD TELL ME.

OH, YOU HAVEN'T
LET ME DOWN. I...

IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.

WELL, WHAT'S IT
GOT TO DO WITH?

IT'S SILLY. IT'S...

EMILY AND...

THAT FIGHT IS WORTH ALL THIS?

YOU'VE BEEN
PRETTY AWFUL LATELY.

I DON'T THINK I DESERVE IT.
DOES EMILY?

NO.

[Emily]
OK, LET'S SEE.

12, 13, 14, 15, 16.

[door buzzing]

IT'S OVER!
I'VE GOT A HANDLE ON IT.

I'VE GOT A WONDERFUL LIFE.
I'M GONNA KEEP IT THAT WAY.

AND TOM ANDREWS
IS NOT A PART OF IT.

HE'S A PART OF YOUR LIFE NOW,
AND I CAN ACCEPT THAT.

WANT TO COME IN?

HMM.

IF THE TWO OF YOU
CAN FIND HAPPINESS TOGETHER,

I AM CERTAINLY NOT GOING
TO STAND IN YOUR WAY. I--

[Emily]
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

[Kathy]
YOU AND TOM.

THERE IS NO
"ME AND TOM."

[birds chirping]BUT YOU TOLD ELLIOTT
THERE WAS A NEW GUY.

I TOLD HIM THAT
TO GET RID OF HIM.

NO "YOU AND TOM"?

IT WAS ONE NIGHT.

YOU HAD
THE RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM.

I HAD ONE NIGHT.

OH, I WISH
IT COULD HAVE WORKED OUT
FOR THE TWO OF YOU.

KATHY, YOU'RE
SO FULL OF SHIT.

LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO
TALK ABOUT ME AND TOM.

I DON'T WANT TO TALK
ABOUT YOU AND TOM.

I DON'T EVEN WANNA TALK ABOUT
THAT POMPOUS ASSHOLE

YOUR HUSBAND
FIXED ME UP WITH.

SO, IF THOSE ARE THE THINGS
YOU CAME HERE TO DISCUSS,
TRY THE MIRROR.

THERE'S ONE IN THE BATHROOM.

I'VE REALLY BEEN SELFISH,
HAVEN'T I?

[siren wailing]

HMM.

I'M SORRY.

AND I'M PREGNANT, I THINK.

TOM?

ELLIOTT. ELLIOTT.

HOW LATE ARE YOU?

ABOUT 5 YEARS.
SHALL WE?

WHAT IS IT WE'RE LOOKING FOR?

IF IT'S POSITIVE,
A DONUT FORMS.

[kettle whistling]

A DONUT?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
LIKE A RING?

YEAH, BUT THEY CALL IT
A DONUT.

WHY DON'T THEY JUST CALL IT
A RING?

I GUESS IT'S A POTENTIALLY
SENSITIVE SUBJECT
FOR SOME OF US.

HMM.

[sighing]

I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T TAKEN
ELLIOTT SERIOUSLY,

BUT THIS MIGHT BE
A GOOD TIME TO START.

OH, PLEASE.

A DONUT IS FORMING.WHAT?

A DONUT

IS FORMING.

OH, EMILY.

I THINK I'M GOING TO BE SICK.

OK. PRENATAL VITAMINS
AND VALIUM.

HMM? PREGNANT?

[man coughing]

YES.

THEN YOU DON'T WANNA
TAKE TRANQUILLIZERS, HONEY.

I WON'T BE TAKING BOTH.

[pills rattling]

OH, "2 HOURS
BEFORE PROCEDURE."

TOUGH DECISION.

THANK YOU. EXCUSE ME.

GOOD LUCK!

[woman announcing on intercom]

[baby squealing]

[laughing]
OH, YOU BIG BABY!

[cooing]

[woman]
IS THAT YOUR BOTTLE?

[woman babbling]

[sighing]

WELL?

DECISION IS MADE.

DON'T START.

I CAN'T HELP IT.
OH, EMILY!

[both laughing]

WHEN ARE YOU
GONNA TELL ELLIOTT?NEVER.

OH, EMILY--

KATHY, IF I'M NOT SURE
I'M READY FOR THIS,
YOU CAN BET HE ISN'T.

WELL, THAT'S NOT FAIR.
YOU GOTTA ASK HIM.

NO.AND IF YOU DON'T, IT GONNA BE
A LONG PREGNANCY FOR ME.

LIGHTEN UP.

FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELTS.
GET READY FOR THE--
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHY NOT?NO!

OK, I'M LIGHT. ALL RIGHT?

THIS IS NUTS.

NOW, YOU STILL GOTTA
TELL ELLIOTT.KATHY.

I CAN'T HELP IT
IF I GET TOO INVOLVED.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?LET'S GET GOING.

IT'LL TAKE 20 MINUTES
FOR THAT VALIUM TO KICK IN.

I'M NOT GONNA BE
ON THE ROAD WITH YOU.WAIT TILL I TELL PETER.

[Emily]
DON'T TELL PETER.

[slurring]
SHE'S GOT TO TELL HIM.

SHE'S GOT TO TELL HIM.

SHE CAN'T NOT TELL HIM
HE'S THE FATHER,
FOR HEAVEN'S SAKES.

HE'S GOT TO KNOW.

IT'S HIS BABY, TOO.

FATHERS ARE VERY IMPORTANT.

[groaning]

YEAH, ELLIOTT'S GOT TO KNOW.

NICE PILL.

[ringing]

HELLO. YEAH, YOU GOT HIM.

YEAH. IS EVERYTHING OK?

SHE DIDN'T?

UH, YEAH, YEAH.

15 MINUTES.
I'LL BE THERE.

IT'S KATHY'S CAR POOL DAY.

SHE FORGOT TO PICK UP
THE KIDS.

SHE'S NOT AT HOME.

HISTORICALLY SPEAKING,
WHEN A WIFE--

JOE, SAVE IT.

ALL RIGHT, SURE.

♪[Kathy humming]

AH.

[doorbell ringing]

WHY, WHO COULD THAT BE?

EMILY.

KATHY.

[airlock seal opening]

[baby crying]EMILY, AREN'T YOU
A SIGHT FOR SORE EYES?

YOU WERE RIGHT, KATH.

IT'S HELL OUT THERE
WITHOUT A MAN.

OH, THERE, THERE.
THINGS HAVE A WAY
OF WORKING OUT.

HONEY, DO WE HAVE
ENOUGH FOR COMPANY?

HI, EM!

STAYING FOR DINNER?

WE WERE JUST DISCUSSING
HER PROBLEM.

HAVE YOU TOLD ELLIOTT?

I CAN'T.

HE COULDN'T HANDLE IT.

[laughing]

BUT HE'S THE FATHER.
HE SHOULD KNOW.

ELLIOTT'S GOT TO KNOW.

ELLIOTT'S GOT TO KNOW.

[Peter]
KATHY.

ELLIOTT'S GOT TO KNOW.

WHAT?

HONEY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

PETER! W-WHAT TIME IS IT?
WHERE ARE THE KIDS?

I GOT THE KIDS.

IT'S TUESDAY. I GOT THE KIDS,
BECAUSE YOU APPARENTLY WANTED
TO SLEEP ON THE DRYER?

OH, I'M SORRY.
I TOOK A VALIUM...

WHAT?

WH--YOU TOOK VALIUM?

YOU--[exclaiming]
ICE CREAM!

WHAT DOES
ELLIOTT HAVE TO KNOW?

UM,

I CAN'T TELL YOU.
I--I PROMISED EMILY
I WOULDN'T.

ARE WE ALL RIGHT?

YES! OH, YES.

[sighing]

BOY, "YES" ISN'T GOING
TO CUT IT MUCH LONGER.

AT FIRST IT SEEMED AS THOUGH
THE TANGENTIAL RELATIONSHIP

BETWEEN THE SPHERES
OF THE Y-AXIS

WERE GOING TO OVERLAP,
AND I WILL BE GOING
INTO THAT VERY SHORTLY.

[microphone humming]

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.

NO, YOU DON'T.

"ELLIOTT'S GOT TO KNOW."

I'M GLAD I CONFIDED IN YOU.

JEEZ. LISTEN.

IT WAS A DREAM.

AND DREAMS
DON'T MEAN ANYTHING.

REALLY? OK.

ALL RIGHT,
HERE'S A LITTLE PHYSICS
FOR YOU, OK?

REMEMBER NEWTON, HUH?
CURLY HAIR, CHUBBY.

[clearing throat]"A BODY AT REST
STAYS AT REST.

"A BODY IN MOTION
STAYS IN MOTION,

UNLESS ACTED UPON
BY AN OUTSIDE FORCE."

I THINK WE BOTH AGREE,
KATHY IS A BODY IN MOTION.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?I'M TALKING ABOUT...

HERE.

SO?

SO "X" EQUALS KATHY.

THIS ISN'T RUSSIAN LIT.

[tires screeching]

[car horn honking]

[exhaling]

ALL RIGHT, FIRST OF ALL,
IF SHE'S NOT HOME,

YOU CHECK AND SEE
IF HER DIAPHRAGM'S MISSING.

I CAN'T BELIEVE
WE'RE DOING THIS.YEAH, WELL.

I'M GONNA SNEAK INTO MY HOUSE,

I'M GONNA CREEP DOWN
THE HALLWAY,

I'M GONNA CATCH MY WIFE
FOLDING MY SOCKS.

OF COURSE YOU ARE.
DON'T FORGET TO CHECK
BEHIND THE SHOWER CURTAIN.

THAT ISN'T
WHERE SHE FOLDS SOCKS.

[Joe laughing]

OH!ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. QUIET.
QUIET. SSH. QUIET.

SHE DIDN'T SAY
ANYTHING ABOUT GOING OUT.

THEY NEVER DO.

[car engine starting]

OH, I THINK YOU WERE RIGHT.
SHE WAS ALONE. WELL.

A WOMAN'S NOT GOING TO GO OUT
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY

ON A CHEAP TRYST
TO THE BAWDY MOTELS

JUST 'CAUSE YOU'RE AT WORK
AND THE KIDS ARE AT SCHOOL.
YOU'RE FINE.

[car tires screeching]

WHAT'S THAT?
WHAT DID YOU SAY?NOTHING.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID SOMETHING.

SHE'S PROBABLY
JUST GOING TO SAFEWAY.

SHE PROBABLY IS.

ISN'T THAT SAFEWAY?

BYE-BYE, SAFEWAY.

SHE'S GOING TO ANOTHER STORE.
LIGHTEN UP. I'M SURE.

YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE
ALL SHE DOES IS GO SHOPPING.

I MAKE IT SOUND LIKE NOTHING.

WELL, THERE'S JUST
MORE TO HER LIFE THAN THAT.I'M CERTAIN THERE IS.

IT'S NOT LIKE HER LIFE IS
SO EMPTY

THAT SHE HAS TO HAVE
A CHEAP TORRID AFFAIR
WITH A KID

JUST BECAUSE HE'S YOUNG
AND SENSITIVE WITH BLUE EYES.

JOE, YOU'RE LOSING HER.

[Joe]
NO, I GOT HER. I GOT HER.

[tires screeching]

WELL, UNLESS
HER AEROBICS CLASS
MEETS DOWN HERE,

WE'RE ONTO SOMETHING.

[Joe laughing]

HMM.

BINGO.

[car tires screeching]

LOOK AT THE NAME!
LOOK AT THE NAME!

GO! GO!

[exclaiming]

LOOKS LIKE WHAT WE HAVE HERE
IS A FIRST TIME.

UH-UH, I KNOW KATHY.
SHE'S NOT GOING TO GO IN.

HMM.

CHEER UP.
HE MIGHT BE A BAD LAY.

WOW.

YEAH.

I'VE NEVER BEEN
IN AN ARTIST'S STUDIO BEFORE.

NO?UH-UH.

WELL, THIS IS IT.

JUST, UH, GO AHEAD.
DO WHATEVER YOU'RE--

OH, YEAH, I'M-- UH, SURE.

[bus horn honking]

I--I COULD DO THIS
1 OF 2 WAYS:

I COULD FEEL YOU OUT,
TEST THE WATERS,

SEE HOW YOU MIGHT REACT
TO MARRYING EMILY

AND RAISING A FAMILY,

OR SKIP ALL THAT
AND JUST BLURT OUT

THAT EMILY'S PREGNANT
AND HAVING YOUR BABY.

OR I--I COULD
JUST MIND MY OWN BUSINESS
AND NOT SAY A WORD.

[siren wailing]

WAIT!BYE, ELLIOTT!

BYE.

NOTHING HAPPENED.
IT WAS ONLY A COUPLE MINUTES.

UNLESS, OF COURSE,
HE'S A REALLY BAD LAY.

[laughing]
SEE, HUH?

COME ON! YOU HUNGRY?

[crickets chirping]

[phone ringing]

HELLO.

KATHY? HI, IT'S ELLIOTT.

HI, ELLIOTT.

♪[music playing on walkman]

[Elliott]
I GOTTA COME OVER.

I GOTTA TALK TO YOU
ABOUT THE SITUATION.

UM, THIS ISN'T REALLY
A GOOD TIME FOR ME TO TALK.

UM... NO, DON'T LEAVE ME HANGING.

I'M-- I'M-- I'M DYING HERE.

UH, HOW--HOW
ABOUT TOMORROW?

FINE. FINE. UH,

CRATERS?

YOU KNOW WHERE THAT IS, RIGHT?

Y-YEAH.

1:00. GREAT. GREAT.
AND YOU'LL BE THERE, RIGHT?

YOU WON'T DROP ANOTHER BOMB
AND, UH, RUN OUT ON ME AGAIN?

YEAH, RELAX,
I'LL BE THERE. BYE.

[sighing]

HEY.

HOW'S IT GOING?

UM.

WELL...

JOHNSON'S MORTUARY
IS IN THE BLACK THIS MONTH.

[chuckling]
AMAZING.

[Kathy]
YEAH.

[sighs]

[clearing throat]

♪[music playing on stereo][woman]
YOU OK?

THIS IS--
THIS IS MAKING ME CRAZY.

I MEAN, WHAT MAKES HER THINK
SHE'S ALONE IN THIS?

AND SHE'S OUT THERE SOMEWHERE
RIGHT NOW IN THIS CITY,

WALKING AROUND
WITH A PIECE OF ME INSIDE HER.

A-A-AND I'M SO ANGRY,
BUT--BUT I ALSO WANT
TO PROTECT HER,

BUT--BUT I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT FROM.

GOD, I'M-- I'M OK.

I DON'T KNOW
EXACTLY WHAT A FATHER DOES,

AS IF SHE'D EVEN LET ME.

SHE'S SO DAMN INDEPENDENT,
BUT THAT'S WHAT I LIKE!

SO SHOULD I, UH...

SHOULD I CALL HER?

SHOULD I TELL HER I KNOW?

SHOULD I BE DRINKING?

I SHOULDN'T HAVE TOLD YOU.NO. SHE SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME.

WELL, MAYBE SHE DIDN'T WANT
TO PUT YOU IN THIS POSITION.

BUT I AM IN THIS POSITION

AND

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT.

BEFORE YOU CONFRONT EMILY
ABOUT THE BABY,

YOU'VE GOT TO FIND OUT
WHAT'S THERE BETWEEN YOU

WITHOUT THE BABY.

[Carol]
ELLIOTT, SHE'S BUSY, ELLIOTT!

I KNOW. I KNOW.

[phones ringing]

EMILY? CAROL,
THAT'LL BE ALL. THANK YOU.

I'D LIKE TO TALK ABOUT US.

I WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOU.

UM,

WE HAD A GOOD THING GOING.

NO TIES,
NO TALK OF THE FUTURE
FROM EITHER OF US,

AND IT WAS NICE.

IT, UH, IT FELT GOOD.

NO, EM. WE LIKED EACH OTHER.
NOW SUDDENLY,
I'M OUT ON MY ASS

BECAUSE YOU DECIDE
ON YOUR OWN THAT IT SHOULD BE
SOMETHING ELSE.

WELL, FINE,
BUT ON TOP OF THAT,

YOU DECIDE I CAN'T HANDLE THIS
"SOMETHING ELSE."

SO AT THIS POINT,
YOU'RE TRYING
TO TELL ME MY LIMITS.

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU
SOMETHING, LADY.

THE ONLY ONE WHOSE LIMITS
WE'VE PROVEN ARE YOURS.

ELLIOTT,
WHEN YOU REACH MY AGE--

OH, THAT'S CRAP! SIT DOWN!

YOU'RE NOT 95.
AGE HAS NOTHING
TO DO WITH IT.

IF I WAS AUDITIONING
FOR SOMETHING,
YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME.

YOU SHOULD'VE
GIVEN ME THAT CHANCE.

THAT'S ALL.

ALL RIGHT.

ARE YOU SAYING YOU
WANT AN AUDITION?

YOU'D HAVE TO AUDITION, TOO,
YOU KNOW.

THAT SEEMS FAIR.

[birds twittering]

[Maggie]
WHAT A PERFECTLY GLORIOUS DAY!

[Maggie exclaiming]

[Maggie]
HELLO. I'D LIKE
TO WELCOME ALL OF YOU

TO THE ODD COUPLES
LAMAZE CLASS.

I LIKE TO MEET MOTHERS
IN THEIR SECOND MONTH
OF PREGNANCY,

SO THAT WE CAN TALK
ABOUT NUTRITION
AND PRENATAL CARE.

THEN YOU CAN ALL GO OFF
AND GROW THOSE BABIES

AND COME BACK TO ME
IN YOUR 7TH MONTH

AND THEN WE CAN
GET DOWN TO THE FUN STUFF.

[Maggie chuckling]

MY NAME IS MAGGIE SAND.
I'M A CAPRICORN.

I HAVE 4 CHILDREN,
RANGING IN AGE
FROM 23 DOWN TO 2.

EACH HAS A DIFFERENT FATHER,
AND I'VE NEVER BEEN MARRIED.

[giggling]

DON'T LAUGH.
THAT'S ME IN 10 YEARS.

SO, LET'S ALL TAKE TURNS
AND TELL A LITTLE SOMETHING
ABOUT OURSELVES

AND SHARE THE CIRCUMSTANCES
WHICH HAVE
BROUGHT US HERE TODAY.

HOW ABOUT YOU YOUNG PEOPLE?

HI. MY NAME IS JILL TOPIAL

AND THIS IS MY BROTHER, ALEX.

HE'S GOING TO BE MY COACH.

UH, I LIKE PARTIES
ON THE BEACH,
NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK

AND MY FAVORITE COLOR
IS LEMON YELLOW.

IT'S MY SCIENCE PROJECT,
AND IF SHE'S LATE WITH IT,

I'M IN DEEP SHIT.

YOU BE SURE TO GET BACK TO US
ABOUT THAT GRADE.

QUITE SIMPLY,
I AM CARRYING
THE GIFT OF LIFE.

MR. AND MRS. MOYER
WERE UNABLE TO HAVE
A CHILD OF THEIR OWN,

AND SO MR. MOYER'S SEED
HAS BEEN DEPOSITED WITHIN ME.

MR. AND MRS. MOYER,

YOU MUST BE EXPERIENCING
THE MOST INTERESTING FEELINGS.

WOULD YOU CARE
TO SHARE THEM WITH US?

WELL--NO.

YOU GO AHEAD.

HI. I'M DEBBIE ROLLINS

AND THIS IS MY WIFE, LINDA.

WE JUST CELEBRATED
OUR 7TH ANNIVERSARY

AND DEBBIE
GOT A BIG PROMOTION.

AND WE FELT THAT HAVING A BABY
WAS THE NEXT NATURAL STEP.

I HAVE SUCH A GOOD FEELING
ABOUT YOU TWO.

AND OUR LAST COUPLE.

OH, W-WE'RE JUST GOOD FRIENDS.

MY NAME IS EMILY.
THIS IS MY BEST FRIEND,
KATHY, AND...

I FOUND MYSELF PREGNANT,
AND I'VE ALWAYS WANTED
A CHILD, SO...

WELL, I'M GETTING ONE.

[Maggie laughing]

I WAS BORN ON THE CUSP.

HMM.

UH-HUH, OK.

NOW, I WANT YOU ALL
TO WRITE DOWN
EVERYTHING YOU'VE EATEN TODAY.

GOOD NUTRITION BEGINS
WITH WHAT I LIKE TO CALL

GOOD FOOD I.Q.

DOES SPELLING COUNT?

YOU DON'T BELONG HERE, EM.
YOU'RE NOT AN ODD COUPLE.

ELLIOTT SHOULD BE WITH YOU.

I'M THINKING ABOUT IT.

YOU ARE?
DID THE TWO OF YOU TALK?

HE DID.

AND I THOUGHT HE HAD
A LOT OF GOOD POINTS.

OH, GOOD.
I'M SO GLAD HE CAME THROUGH.

WHAT?

YOU TOLD HIM.

E-EMILY, YOU'RE
GOING TO NEED HELP.

PARENTING IS A 2-PERSON JOB.

I KNOW. I'M A MOTHER.SO AM I!

NO, YOU'RE NOT.
NOT YET.

[Emily]
KATHY, GET A LIFE.

AND STAY OUT OF MINE!

GOD, YOU'RE LIKE A DISEASE.

YOU INVADE SOMEONE'S LIFE
AND YOU ATTACH YOURSELF.

THAT'S WHAT I AM TO YOU,
A DISEASE?

WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

GO AHEAD! CUT THE BABY OFF
FROM HIS FATHER!

WELL, I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU:
I LIED. IT'S NOT HIS BABY.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?WHAT DO YOU THINK I MEAN?

YOU'RE HAVING
MY BOYFRIEND'S BABY?

[laughing]
YOUR BOYFRIEND?
HE'S NOT YOUR ANYTHING.

YOU'RE NOT PART
OF HIS LIFE ANYMORE.

HE HASN'T HAD A THOUGHT
ABOUT YOU IN AGES!

[exclaiming]
YOU THINK THAT IF I SHOWED UP
ON HIS DOORSTEP RIGHT NOW,

HE WOULDN'T GET ME INTO BED
AS FAST AS HE DID YOU?

IF HE WAS SMART, HE'D RUN!

NO, HE WOULDN'T!

I GOT A GOOD FEELING
ABOUT YOU TWO.

TOM, THERE'S SOMETHING
VERY SERIOUS
THAT YOU HAVE TO KNOW

AND I'M THE ONLY ONE
WHO WILL TELL YOU.

A CHILD HAS BEEN CONCEIVED.

NOT IN LOVE, PERHAPS.

BUT IN PASSION.

NOW, I UNDERSTAND
THAT YOU WERE SWEPT AWAY,

BUT EMILY NEEDS YOU.

MAYBE YOU HAVEN'T GIVEN HER
A SECOND THOUGHT
SINCE YOUR NIGHT TOGETHER.

[laughs]

IN FACT,
I'M SURE YOU HAVEN'T.

CALL ME INVASIVE.

CALL ME DISEASE-LIKE.

I JUST THOUGHT
THAT YOU DESERVED TO KNOW.

[man]
LOOKING GOOD.

[people chattering]

CAROL, HI. GUESS WHO?

OH, HI, ELLIOTT.

NO. EMILY'S NOT HERE.

IS SHE GOING TO DENVER?
DO YOU KNOW?

[inaudible]

GEE, ELLIOTT,
I REALLY CAN'T SAY FOR SURE.

IT'S PRETTY CONFUSED
AROUND HERE.

OK. BYE, ELLIOTT.

EXCUSE ME. THIS IS FOR YOU.

THANK YOU.MMM-HMM.

"THERE IS SOMEONE ELSE."

"YOU'RE NOT THE FATHER."

[laughing]

WHAT?

NOTHING, KATHY'S VISITING
HER MOTHER IN CHICAGO,
I'M SURE.

COME ON, JOE,
THERE ARE GOOD MARRIAGES,
YOU KNOW.

I KNOW. I HAD 3 OF THEM.

[Joe chuckling]

OLD TOWN, PLEASE.
THE NUMBER FOR ELLIOTT FOWLER.

THANK YOU.

I'M JUST CHECKING.

CHECKING IS GOOD.

UH, MESSAGE.

ELLIOTT'S IN DENVER
FOR A SHOW.

HE'S STAYING AT THE HYATT.

HMM, NICE PLACE.

WHAT AIRLINE IS KATHY TAKING?

I AM NOT GONNA DIGNIFY
THAT WITH AN ANSWER.

PAN-PACIFIC.[Joe]
THANK YOU.

PAN-PACIFIC FLIES TO DENVER,
DON'T THEY?

I'M JUST SAYING.
I SAW IT IN A COMMERCIAL,
THAT'S ALL.

ALL RIGHT.
I'LL CLEAR THIS UP FOR YOU.

[beeping]

[modem dialing]

[modem crackling]

DOING A LITTLE HACKING
IN YOUR SPARE TIME?

GO. GO. GO.

AND THE PASSWORD IS...

TA-DA.

PAN-PACIFIC AIRLINES,
PASSENGER MANIFEST.

[Joe]
VERY GOOD.

[Peter]
LET'S SEE. WE'LL SEARCH

FOR PASSENGER

WHITING.

ALL RIGHT, "WHITING,
MRS." THAT'S A GOOD SIGN.

[Peter]
ALL RIGHT, FLIGHT 305,
PORTLAND TO...

PORTLAND TO DENVER.

[laughing]

[birds chirping]

SO WHEN YOU TOLD ME IT WAS ME,
YOU THOUGHT IT WAS ME.

MMM-HMM.BECAUSE EMILY WAS PROTECTING
YOUR FEELINGS.

YES.

WHICH MEANS YOUR BOYFRIEND
IS THE FATHER
OF MY GIRLFRIEND'S BABY.

UH,

IF YOU WANT TO BOIL IT DOWN
TO ONE SENTENCE, YES.

[cars honking]

YOU MUST BE
JUST A LITTLE BIT RELIEVED.

RELIEVED THAT EMILY
GOT KNOCKED UP
BY ANOTHER MAN?

NO, I WOULD NOT SAY
I WAS RELIEVED.

I'M SORRY,
YOUR ROOM WON'T BE READY
UNTIL 4:00.

OH, UH,

E-ELLIOTT,
CAN YOU PARK MY BAG?

SURE.OH, GREAT.

SURE.THANKS. THANKS. BYE.

THANK YOU.

[Kathy]
"GONE FISHING."

BULLHEAD CATFISH?

[people chattering]

THEY'RE TWINS!

[men clamoring]

[man]
HEY, WHO'S THAT, TOMMY?

THIS ONE'S CAROL.

UH, SIR, UH?

[whistling]

[birds twittering]

[Kathy grunting]
DAMN.

[man]
LET ME GIVE YOU A HAND.

[grumbling]I'LL HAVE THIS FOR YOU
IN A SECOND.

NO PROBLEM, DARLING.

HMM.

THANK YOU.

[man chuckling]

ANYTIME.

THANK YOU.

[Tom]
WHAT A BEAUTY,

BUT NOT GOOD ENOUGH,
I'M AFRAID.

OH, NOW THIS ONE...

THIS ONE IS TRULY PATHETIC.

[exclaiming]
MEAN MOUTH ON THIS GIRL.

WHO'S THAT, TOMMY?

WHO IS IT? CHRISSY!

[men screaming]

[man]
CHRISSY!

WHAT YOU GOT THERE, BOOTSIE?

JUST A FISH.

[all exclaiming]THAT'S NO FISH!

LOOK AT THIS THING.
THAT'S A MACK TRUCK.

[men applauding]

[Tom]
I NEED A HAND WITH THIS ONE.

WELL, BOYS, I THINK WE GOT
A WINNER AT 24 POUNDS.

[men whooping]

I CHRISTEN YOU...

GO AHEAD, BOOTSIE.
YOU TAKE IT.

LOLA?

LOLA!

LOLA! RIGHT!

[men whistling]LOLA. OK, LOLA'S THE WINNER.

GIVE HIM A BIG HAND, HUH?

[men cheering]

KATHY?

TOMMY.

UH, OK, GUYS.

I'M GONNA GET OUT OF HERE
BECAUSE, UM, YOU STINK.

[men laughing]

[man]
THANKS, TOM.

SEE YOU NEXT YEAR, TOM.

KATHY.

HEY.

[men whistling]

IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING?

ME, MISS A BIG MOOSEHEAD
CAT THING?

[men cheering]

SO...

ARE YOU DIVORCED?

NO.

WIDOWED?

NO.

SO I GUESS THIS IS JUST
A FRIENDLY CALL.

ARE YOU GOING TO GO
TO THE REUNION?

HERE, LET ME
GET THIS.

THE REUNION.

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU...

THE ONLY PERSON
I WANTED TO SEE WAS YOU,

AND YOU'RE RIGHT HERE.

I SURE AM.

YEAH.

YOU KNOW, OF ALL THE PLACES
I'VE IMAGINED
RUNNING INTO YOU AGAIN,

THAT DOCK
SURE WASN'T ONE OF THEM.

YOU'VE IMAGINED ME PLACES?

OH, YEAH.

HAVEN'T YOU EVER WONDERED
ABOUT ME LIKE THAT?

NO.NO?

[laughing]

OK.

WELL, I HAVE.

AND IF I WOULD'VE KNOWN
YOU WOULD'VE TURNED OUT
LIKE THIS,

I WOULD HAVE IMAGINED IT
A LOT MORE OFTEN.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
"LIKE THIS"?

I ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU WERE
THE PRETTIEST GIRL IN SCHOOL.

AND NOW LOOK AT YOU.

JUST TAKE A LOOK AT YOURSELF.

YOU'RE SUCH...

YOU'RE SUCH A WOMAN.

YOU HAVE THIS ASSURANCE
ABOUT YOU, AND THIS...

I DON'T KNOW, THIS SLEEKNESS.

DON'T GET ME STARTED HERE.

NO. NO, NO, NO. GO ON.

WELL, LET'S JUST SAY
THAT I'M REGRETTING
ALL THAT RESTRAINT I USED

IN HIGH SCHOOL.

TELL ME ABOUT IT.

YEAH. OK.

SO,

AM I GOING TO TAKE YOU OUT
TO DINNER WITH FISH GUNK
ON ME,

OR WITHOUT?

WITHOUT.

[clearing throat]

I'M GLAD YOU'RE...

PETER?

WHERE IS SHE?

UH...

WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT IT?

I KNOW.

I KNOW A LOT MORE
THAN YOU THINK I KNOW.

DID YOU KNOW SHE'S PREGNANT?

WHAT?MMM-HMM.

AND IT'S NOT EVEN MINE.

AH, PETER, IF YOU WERE ME,
WOULD YOU STILL WANT HER?

'CAUSE I CAN'T HELP IT.

[grunting]

[groaning]

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CARE?

SHE'S MY WIFE!

KATHY?
I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT KATHY!

WHAT ABOUT THIS? HUH?

I'M SIMPLY STORING IT
FOR HER, PETER.

WHAT DO YOU THINK,
I'M AN IDIOT?

NO, WAIT. HOLD ON.
JUST CHILL, ALL RIGHT?

NOW, YOUR WIFE IS HERE
TO LOOK UP AN OLD HIGH-SCHOOL
BOYFRIEND, UH, TOM.

TOM?TOM, TOM...

TOM ANDREWS.

TOM ANDREWS.
OK? SO JUST CHILL.

OK.

OK.

ANDREWS, HUH?

WE'LL SEE.

ALL RIGHT.

WHAT A NIGHTMARE.

ALL RIGHT. UH-HUH.

"ANDREWS, TOM."

[dialing]

[hair dryer whirring]

[phone ringing]

HEY, KATH.
GET THAT, WILL YOU?

HELLO.

BYE.

I'M REALLY SORRY.

[elevator bell dings]

UH-HUH, FOWLER.
I NEED ICE BADLY.

[knocking on door]

BIG BUCKET. THANK YOU.

ELLIOTT.JUST TELL ME ONE THING.

WHO ARE YOU HERE TO SEE? ME?WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

TOM ANDREWS.WHAT?

PETER, KATHY...
JUST TELL ME.

IS KATHY IN DENVER?

YES. SHE'S WITH TOM.

PETER WENT OFF TO FIND HER.
HE HIT ME IN THE FACE.

[Elliott]
NOW, YOU AND I,
WE'RE GOING TO TALK, EM.

KATHY'S WITH TOM?

[clapping]
BINGO.

NOW, I AM THROUGH
BEING AN IDIOT.

YOU KNOW,
LISTENING TO OTHER PEOPLE.

YOU AND I WILL...

[sighing]

[crickets chirping]

HMM, THERE'S NOTHING
LIKE A FIRE, IS THERE?

YOU LOOK ESPECIALLY
GOOD BY FIRELIGHT.

WELL, GOSH, IT'S TOO BAD
IT'LL GO TO WASTE,

SINCE WE'LL BE, UH, GOING OUT
IN A FEW MINUTES FOR DINNER.

WELL, WHY DON'T WE ORDER IN?

YOU'LL FIND SOME MENUS
ON THE BUTCHER BLOCK.

[stuttering]

[moaning]

HOW ABOUT THAI?

[gasping]

ALL RIGHT. HOW ABOUT ITALIAN?

[laughs]

THERE'S AN EXTRA $20
IF YOU GET ME THERE
BEFORE HER HUSBAND.

[tires screeching]

UH,

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM HERE?

THERE'S MORE
THAN ONE "ELM," SON.

[crickets chirruping]

[Tom]
SO, THE IDEA HERE IS TO RELAX.

JUST LET ME WORK
THE PRESSURE POINTS.

JUST PRETEND
YOUR HAND IS YOUR BODY.

THAT'S IT.

I REMEMBER YOUR HANDS, KATHY.

I REMEMBER YOUR SKIN,

AND YOUR SHOULDERS,

[Tom]
YOUR NECK,

YOUR LIPS...

I WANT YOU, KATHY.

EMILY'S HAVING YOUR BABY.

EXCUSE ME?

YOU'RE GOING TO BE A FATHER.

WELL, I KNEW YOU'D
WANT TO KNOW.

AND YOU WOULDN'T WANT
A CHILD OF YOURS BORN

AND NOT KNOW ABOUT IT.

NO, ACTUALLY,
THAT'S ALWAYS
BEEN A DREAM OF MINE.

[dog howling]

[sighing]

DID EMILY SEND YOU HERE
TO TELL ME THIS?

NO, NO. NO, SHE'S GONNA
KILL ME WHEN SHE FINDS OUT.

WELL, SHE DOESN'T
HAVE TO FIND OUT.

WE'LL JUST SAY
THAT YOU NEVER CAME HERE.

THAT WAY, SHE WON'T KNOW
YOU BETRAYED HER TRUST

AND I WON'T HAVE TO GET
INVOLVED WITH HER
AND SOME KID.

OH, YOU CAN'T MEAN THAT.

IF EMILY WANTED ME TO KNOW,
SHE'D HAVE TOLD ME HERSELF.

I THINK THE FACT
THAT SHE ISN'T HERE
SHOULD TELL US

[doorbell ringing]BOTH SOMETHING.

[exhaling]

HEY! BABE.HEY! YOURSELF.

[sighing]
KATHY.

IS THERE A BACK WAY OUT?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WHAT AM I DOING HERE?
WHAT AM I DOING HERE?

[exclaiming]HEY, WHY DON'T WE SIT DOWN
AND TALK ABOUT THIS QUIETLY?

BECAUSE HER HUSBAND
IS GONNA WALK THROUGH
THAT DOOR AT ANY SECOND!

OH, SHIT.PETER?

GOOD FOR YOU.
NOW, WHERE'S THE BACK WAY?

THERE ISN'T ONE.

WE'LL JUST HAVE TO WING IT.

ALL RIGHT. UH...

WE'LL TELL HIM
THAT YOU CAME TO TELL TOM
HE'S THE FATHER OF MY BABY.

THAT'S WHY I DID COME HERE!

OH, RIGHT.
NOT LOOKING LIKE THAT,
YOU DIDN'T.

NO, REALLY. I JUST TOLD HIM!

IT'S THE 11TH HOUR.
CUT THE CRAP.

UH...

GIVE ME YOUR DRESS.

HMM.TURN AROUND.

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS FOR ME?

AND DON'T TELL ME IT'S BECAUSE
YOU LOVE ME AND FORGIVE ME

BECAUSE I COULDN'T BEAR
THE GUILT.

[Kathy]
SO DON'T TELL ME THAT
THAT IS THE REASON.

IT'S BECAUSE I LOVE YOU
AND I FORGIVE YOU.

[groans]

YOU DESERVED THAT.

[laughing]
HOLY MOTHER!

WE'LL LAUGH ABOUT THIS
WHEN WE'RE 90.

[both laughing]

UH-HUH.

OH, GOD. ELLIOTT.

AND YOU THOUGHT
I WASN'T READY
FOR A RELATIONSHIP.

HOW MANY MORE GUYS
YOU GOT OUT THERE?

EXCUSE ME?

BOY, I TELL YOU, WOMEN...

SOMETIMES I JUST
DON'T UNDERSTAND THEM.

SHE BREEZES INTO MY LIFE
FOR ONE LOUSY NIGHT,

NOW I'M IN A PATERNITY SUIT.

YOU SLEPT WITH THIS GUY?

I MADE HER.

HEY, HEY, PAL. YOU WANT HER?
TAKE HER.

JUST A ONE-NIGHT STAND TO ME,
THAT'S ALL.

[sniffing]

HEY, YOU BETTER--

[women shrieking]

[groaning]

OH, YOU'RE HURT.
IT'S ALL MY FAULT.

YOU SURE ARE A JERK.

[Kathy grunting]

[door slamming]

IS THIS YOUR MOTHER'S HOUSE?

IS THIS YOUR MOTHER?

HOW'S YOUR SCIATICA?

PETER! PETER, KATHY
WAS JUST HERE TO TELL TOM
THAT I'M HAVING A BABY.

OUT.BUT IT'S NOT TOM'S BABY.
IT'S ELLIOTT'S.

YEAH! IT IS?

IT IS?

HEY, OUT!

KATHY. COULD YOU
LEAVE US ALONE?

HEY, BUDDY, THIS IS MY HOUSE.

THIS IS MY WIFE.

YEAH.

[door squeaking]

[door slamming]

[dog barking]

YOU LIED TO ME.

I KNOW.

NOTHING HAPPENED.

NOTHING HAPPENED?

WELL, DEFINE "NOTHING"

BECAUSE IT SEEMS TO ME
THAT A LOT HAS HAPPENED HERE.

I'M TRYING REALLY HARD
TO BE OBJECTIVE,
SO I WANT TO KNOW ALL OF IT.

WHY ARE YOU REALLY HERE?

TOMMY'S AN OLD FRIEND OF MINE
FROM HIGH SCHOOL.

HE'S AN OLD BOYFRIEND.

[sighing]

YEAH.

I MISSED THAT FEELING.

FEELING?

YOU MISSED, UH,
YOU MISSED THAT FEELING.

YEAH, YOU KNOW,
THE--THE RUSH THAT YOU GET
WHEN YOU'RE 16?

HONEY, WE AREN'T 16.

I KNOW.

I KNOW.

IT'S JUST THAT--THAT
YOU FEEL SPECIAL.

I JUST WANTED TO
FEEL LIKE, UH...

LIKE A HOT BABE.

NOW, THAT'S A PROBLEM,
BECAUSE YOU'RE SAYING

THAT I DON'T MAKE YOU FEEL
THAT WAY.

OH, PETER, NO. SEE--SEE,
YOU'RE MY HUSBAND

AND YOU LOVE ME
AND I LOVE YOU, AND--

WHAT?

I LOVE YOU.

BUT WHAT?

IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU.
IT'S NOT EVEN
ABOUT HIM. IT'S...

YOU SEE, I WAS MAKING
MYSELF MISERABLE.

I--I WASN'T EVEN
THAT MISERABLE, REALLY.

I WAS-- I WAS KIND OF HAPPY,

IN A MISERABLE KIND
OF WAY AND...

IS THAT WORSE
THAN BEING MISERABLE
IN A HAPPY KIND OF WAY?

NO. IT'S-- IT'S BETTER.

BECAUSE YOU KIND OF
ENJOY YOUR MISERY.

I'M GLAD SOMEBODY DID.

PETER, I'M SORRY.

WHAT ELSE CAN I SAY?

IT'S THAT...

MISERY, I KNOW SOMETHING
ABOUT THAT.

♪ SEE, MISERY TAKES YOU DOWN ♪

♪[imitating blues riff]

♪ DRAGS YOU ALL AROUND ♪

♪[imitating blues riff]

♪ TAKES YOU ALL OVER TOWN ♪

♪[imitating blues riff]

♪ TILL YOU'VE LOST
WHAT YOU FOUND ♪

♪[imitating blues riff]

WELL, YOU--
YOU GOT IT TO RHYME.

COME HERE.

I WANT TO ROCK YOU, MAMMA,
LIKE YOUR BODY
AIN'T GOT NO BONES.

LET'S BLOW THIS PLACE.

HEY, YOU KNOW,
WE GOT A GOOD THING HERE.

I KNOW WE DO.

NO. THE SITTER, AT HOME.YEAH?

[door slamming]

[dog barking]I DON'T KNOW,

IT'S SET FOR OVERNIGHT.

[exclaiming]
AND I GOT A HOTEL ROOM.

[exclaiming]
YOU BE BAD, GIRL.

WELL, ALL THE CARDS
ARE ON THE TABLE.

I DON'T WANT YOU
TO FEEL OBLIGATED.
I JUST WANT A STRAIGHT ANSWER:

DO YOU WANT TO BE TOGETHER?

[sighing]
HOW CAN SHE ASK ME THAT?

THINGS ARE GONNA CHANGE.

YOU'RE INFATUATED WITH A WOMAN
WHO'S SOPHISTICATED,
OUT THERE ON THE EDGE.

BUT--YOU'RE NOT OUT
ON THE EDGE.

YES, I AM.

NO, YOU'RE NOT.

ACTUALLY, YOU CAN BE
KIND OF A DRAG AT TIMES.

THEN YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY
WANT ME.

STRAIGHT ANSWER?

YES.

YES.

WATCH THE FACE.

[exclaiming]

[giggling]IT DOESN'T HURT.

♪[Peter playing harmonica]

HONEY, WE'RE TRYING TO PLAN
A WEDDING UP HERE!

OK!

[door closing]

♪[Big Bad Loveby Diana Ross
and Ray Charles playing]

[Ray]
♪ YOUR LIPS SAY,
COME AND KISS ME ♪

♪ AND THEY HAVEN'T
MADE A SOUND ♪

♪ YOUR HIPS SAY,
COME ON WITH ME ♪

♪ YOU'RE JUST
TALKING AROUND ♪

[Diana]
♪ MY HEART BEATS
LIKE THUNDER ♪

♪ EVERY TIME
YOU COME INTO VIEW ♪

♪ THIS THING IS BIGGER
THAN BOTH OF US ♪

♪ I KNOW
YOU KNOW IT, TOO ♪

♪ WE'VE GOT
A BIG, BIG, BIG ♪

♪ BAD LOVE ♪

[chorus]
♪ BAD LOVE ♪

♪ WELL, WELL, WE FIT
LIKE A HAND IN A GLOVE ♪

♪ WE GOT A BIG,
BIG, BIG, BAD LOVE ♪

[chorus]
♪ BIG, BAD LOVE ♪

♪ ANYTHING YOU WANT
OR NEED ♪

♪ YOU CAN HAVE
ALL THAT AND MORE ♪

♪ MY TIME, MY LOVE,
MY CREDIT CARD ♪

♪ I'LL EVEN
DRIVE YOU TO THE STORE ♪

♪ OOH, I'VE GOT A LIST
OF THINGS TO DO, BABY ♪

♪ AND IT'S
VERY SHORT AND SWEET ♪

♪ TALK TO ME ♪

♪ I'LL BEGIN
AT THE BEGINNING ♪

♪ AND I'LL END UP
AT YOUR FEET ♪

♪ ALL RIGHT ♪

♪ WE'VE GOT
A BIG, BIG, BIG ♪

♪ BAD LOVE ♪

[chorus]
♪ BAD LOVE ♪

[both]
♪ YEAH, WE FIT LIKE
A HAND IN A GLOVE ♪

♪ WE'VE GOT A BIG, BIG,
BIG, BAD LOVE ♪

[chorus]
♪ BIG, BAD LOVE ♪

♪ WHOO ♪

♪ I'LL TELL YOU ♪

[Ray laughing]

♪ GIVE IT UP, BABY ♪

[chorus]
♪ OH, YEAH ♪

♪ IN THE MORNING,
WHEN I WAKE UP ♪

♪ I CAN'T
BELIEVE MY LUCK ♪

♪ I TAKE YOU
LIKE A VITAMIN PILL ♪

♪ AND YOU DRIVE ME
LIKE A TRUCK, BABE ♪

♪ I DON'T CARE
WHERE YOU GO, BABY ♪

♪ DON'T CARE
WHAT YOU DO ♪

♪ JUST AS LONG
AS YOU TAKE ME THERE ♪

♪ YEAH, BABY ♪

♪ AND LET ME DO IT
WITH YOU ♪ ♪ ME AND YOU ♪

♪ WE'VE GOT
A BIG, BIG, BIG ♪

♪ BAD LOVE ♪

[chorus]
♪ BIG, BAD LOVE ♪

♪ YEAH, WE GOT A
BIG, BIG, BIG LOVE ♪

♪ WE GOT A
BIG, BIG, BIG, BAD LOVE ♪

[chorus]
♪ BIG, BAD LOVE ♪

♪ BABY,
LET TELL ME NOW ♪

[both]
♪ WE FIT LIKE A HAND
IN A GLOVE ♪

♪ WE GOT A BIG, BIG,
BIG, BAD LOVE ♪

[chorus]
♪ BIG, BAD LOVE ♪

♪ BAD LOVE ♪

[chorus]
♪ BIG BAD LOVE ♪

♪ OH, BABY ♪

[chorus]
♪ BIG, BAD LOVE ♪

♪ WE GOT LOVE ♪

[chorus]
♪ BIG, BAD LOVE ♪

♪ WE GOT A
BIG, BAD LOVE, BABY ♪

[Diana]
YOU SAY THAT
TO ALL THE GIRLS, RAY.

[Ray laughing]