Original subtitles

We’re in riding country, Ginny.

Maybe you should get a horse?

Because that will make everything better?

Remind me this was a good decision.

Buying an English stately home sight unseen,

dragging our kids to the other side of the world under heavy protest?

Yeah, it was the right decision.

Eyes up. This is the village.

Alrighty?

Let’s go.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

- Dad! - No signal! The signal’s down!

I was in the middle of a conversation there!

There isn’t even a 3G back up! What is this place?

Actually, we’re in a signal blackspot.

There’s no cell or Wi-Fi connection anywhere within the estate boundary.

Oh, funny.

He’s not joking, sweetie.

Think of it as a technological Bermuda triangle.

Mom!?

Whoah. Look at this place.

Alrighty, let’s run.

Mom, tell him.

I’m fully supportive of your Father’s decision. This family needs time out.

And no YouTube tutorials.

It was only a micro rocket. And it was an accident.

You burned down the school Gymnasium, Theodore.

I knew this would all be our fault.

No. But now that you mention it, Franklin,

setting fire to the only school in the state

you hadn’t been expelled from may have been a contributing factor.

As for Virginia.

If her life is now meaningless it might as well be meaningless here

- as anywhere! - Hiram.

We may as well start by telling it as it is, Lucy.

Huh, oh my, I hope you brought a map.

Hellooooo?

- Where are you going? - To my room!

Honey, there are 150 rooms in the house.

Then I guess I’ll find one.

Could we at least get a grid reference?

It’s been a long day and everyone is jet lagged.

We’ll have a family council tomorrow.

Like the family council you had without us before deciding to come here?

Seriously could this get any worse.

Do you think we need to get pest control in?

Let’s get the bags.

Ah, there you are.

So, Cesspitt…

Huh. The Gargoyle missed its cue.

Th… th… the rain was a nice touch.

Merely a prelude by way of welcome.

From henceforth, we will no longer play to an empty house.

You… you…you… you…you terrify the mice.

Pea brained vermin, unworthy of mine effort.

And as for spiders, let me not start.

A species singularly devoid of an attention span.

So, what of the incomers?

Their speech is strangled.

I think they’re from the Americas.

Colonials.

Ha! Hardly a history to amass a ghost of any stature.

We shall tailor mine performance to the audience.

Study them.

Discover their darkest fears that haunt their dreams,

so that I shall become their living nightmare.

Lucy,

remind me in the morning to get the plumbing checked.

See this Lucy.

So Simeon Otis was born just on the other side of that wood.

It’s barely changed in centuries. Even the gypsy wagons are still there.

His parents, brothers and sisters

are all probably buried somewhere near here.

Sweetie, I just know you’re gonna find them.

We said peace and quiet.

You don’t get quieter than this.

Hiram?

Where are the birds?

The completion documents for the sale of the Chase Lady Deborah.

Thank you, Mrs. Watkins.

I suppose it will just about cover the mortgage.

It was the only offer in 25 years.

Now for neighbours we have Yanks with more money than sense.

Hiram Otis would be hard pushed to have more sense than money.

He’s currently ranked eighth in the Forbes rich list.

How very vulgar.

I assume the occupancy clause is watertight?

You know how litigious these Americans are.

Oh, yes.

Lord St John was quite punctilious and insisted on him being included twice.

Once under the sitting tenant clause and also under fixtures and fittings.

I don’t expect them to last long, but we shall see for ourselves.

"Lady Deborah de Canterville at Home. Dinner 7.30."

I’m guessing an "at Home" is English for a potluck?

At least the neighbours are friendly.

I hereby declare this family council in session.

Now, we know you weren’t sure about coming here.

Huh, we were sure… we didn’t want to.

Yes, but it isn’t just about you.

Your father’s an inventor, and boardroom life was destroying him.

Ah, maybe if I’d spent less time in a boardroom and more with my family…

Maybe if I’d spent less time at work as well…

We just wanted to be a normal family.

Not get dragged to a Wi-Fi blackspot in the middle of nowhere.

Exactly.

So instead of us being glued to devices

we can spend time actually communicating with one another.

So let’s call this day one of a new chapter for the Otis family.

What do you say?

- I have to unpack. - What are we going to do?

What boys used to do before the internet.

There’s 5000 acres of England out there.

Explore the woods, make a den, climb trees…

Under no circumstances are you climbing any trees.

Under no circumstances are you climbing any trees.

Need any help?

Thanks, I’m pretty much finished.

Um, aren’t you going to unpack that?

I don’t recall packing it.

You still could have a great legal career ahead of you.

Don’t let one mistake destroy your life.

A mistake that destroyed a life.

Kayla’s life was destroyed by the system.

And you know, Ginny — you could have summer interned at some fancy law firm.

But instead you wanted to help people who needed it most in an over stretched system

and when resources are stretched, mistakes happen.

It’s moving on from those mistakes is all part of growing up.

"Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently."

I know, Mom.

I was going to say if it was a horse you’d have got straight back in the saddle.

I know you and Dad are disappointed with me.

We’re not disappointed in you. We love you and we want you to be happy.

I know you want to help but you can’t therapize this one away.

Don’t forget the Canterville’s potluck.

Find something nice to wear.

This way.

Hi! Oh, you must be Mrs. Umney.

Yes, Madam.

Please call me Lucy. And, and can I call you?

Mrs. Umney. Madam.

Ah, good to meet you. We feel very fortunate you came with the house.

There’s been Umneys at the Chase as long as there’s been Cantervilles.

Well perhaps you’d like to give us the guided tour.

But before that would you like a cup of tea?

This is "my" kitchen.

Okay.

- Leave us alone. - This place is ours.

Just give him back.

Get off him. Charity, do get him back.

- Don’t hurt him. - Or what?

You’ll regret it.

We’ll regret it, will we?

What you gonna do. Two against four.

Make that four against four.

- I’m Theo Otis. This is my brother Frank. - Oh geeee! It’s the Olsen twins!

Give him back.

No!

- I’m brown belt in Aikido. - Get the little nerd.

Leg it! Leg it, boys!

Thanks, I’m Patience.

This is my sister Charity. What’s Eye Keedo?

Aikido. A form of defensive Japanese martial art.

What do you call the stuff with the stick?

Fighting.

We need to go home.

"When a golden girl can win prayer from the lips of sin.

Two houses shall reunite and the barren almond bear.

Then shall the house be still. And peace come to Canterville."

And in here is the tapestry room

built during the age of Queen Elizabeth the First.

Hi, sweetie.

Could you tell me what this means, Mrs. Umney? It’s beautiful.

We call it the Canterville poem.

It’s been there for centuries.

But no one knows what it refers to.

Shall we…

You’re certainly well informed. Ah, oh!

There’s been Umneys at the Chase as long as there’s been Cantervilles.

Wouldn’t that be longer as the Cantervilles have left?

Not all…

Oh. You mean it’s haunted?

Well, that’ll cheer up the boys.

Oh, Mrs. Umney, do… do you know what… what this is?

The… the cleaners couldn’t get it out and

a rug would wreak havoc with the feng shui.

It won’t come out.

Oh. Well stain removal’s Hiram’s specialty.

He’s the Inventor of the um… the Otis Max.

- It’s a vacuum Cleaner? - I’d be happy to provide you with one.

I’m very happy with my Constellation, thank you very much.

Though she won’t remove that.

Blood has been spilt on this spot.

Oh, oxidised haemoglobin’s a devil all right.

It was the devil ‘as put it there.

In 1575 when Sir Simon de Canterville slayed his wife.

I’m a man of science, Mrs. Umney.

I don’t believe in psychic phenomena.

Why are we eating in here?

It turns out Mrs. Umney has ancient territorial rights over the kitchen.

"Ah. There be Umneys here as long as there be Cantervilles."

After 800 years let’s hope they know how to cook.

News flash…

this house comes with a resident ghost.

- Yeah, right. - What is it?

"He" is Sir Simon de Canterville

who murdered his wife in the Great Hall in 1575.

You think we’ll see him?

Oh, there’s an argument to support the theory

that supernatural sightings are the result of electromagnetic fields.

- What if they are real? - Body of evidence

and the number of people who’ve seen them

suggests an above average level of coincidence.

More likely they’re conjured by the brain

as a subconscious method of coping with grief. Can you pass the potatoes?

I’m afraid you guys aren’t going to be able to convince us on this one.

You know, I was thinking Hiram;

we should call in on our neighbours at the gypsy camp tomorrow

and introduce ourselves.

Dumb Daniel,

the suicidal skeleton, always an applause winner.

Or… Martin the Maniac, the masked mystery?

Ah, Cesspitt, what dost thou think?

Would Gaunt Gideon the bloodsucker of Bexley Moor bringeth down the house?

I wouldn’t wager on it.

They don’t believe in Ghosts.

Surely they are appraiséd of my reputation?

They are… appraised…

Hm, they believe you to be an "ilectro magnetic field."

What!

They would liken me to mud and grass?

This affront will not go unpunished.

Tell me, Cesspitt, what nightmare haunts their dreams?

Harm befalling their offspring.

They treat them like maidens.

Forbidden sword play, wrestling and riding to hound.

Then the mollycoddles will be first

and the role decided.

Hmm, Reckless Rupert.

Hmm, always goeth down well with the children in the audience.

Ahh, has been a long time, my friend.

What say thee to a reprisal of the headless Earl?

There…

Patience.

- Hiram and Lucy Otis. - Hey…

We just moved into the Chase.

Django Lovell.

The boys from the woods.

- Oh we’re so sorry… - Oh, what did they do?

They came in handy in a fight is all.

You’ve been camping here long?

Around five hundred years.

Oh. Oh, I though gypsies moved around?

We don’t.

We’re waiting.

What for?

We’ll know, when it comes.

Well, looks like you’ve had some trouble.

Aye, flooding from the lake.

Well, rather than bailing, you might want to use the top meadow

as it’s sitting empty.

That’s Canterville soil.

Gypsies have been banned there in perpetuity.

Oh, it’s Otis soil now.

And while we may have been tardy, Americans outlawed segregation in 1964.

- You don’t know what you’re saying. - I guess I’m saying this.

Down here’s a quagmire.

While up there 10 acres of prime grazing,

better drainage, better shelter and access to fresh water.

I can run a pipe and connect you guys to the mains.

We’re good.

I’m Theo and Frank’s mom, Lucy.

Is your mom here? Maybe I could introduce myself to her…

Gone. The day they were born.

Oh, I’m so sorry for your loss.

Maybe some time you guys could come over for a play date?

It was good to meet you.

And um, if you change your mind about the field…

Yeh, you know where we are.

Was the play date too much?

Oh, maybe a little.

What’s a play date?

Get back to work.

- Hey, Dad. - Hey.

So what do you think, guys?

Could this be the birthplace of the next great Otis invention?

Sure. Can we borrow some stuff?

Ah, sure yeh. Well, you going to tell me what it’s for?

We just want to prove the existence of ghosts.

Right. Well… help yourselves.

Thanks, Dad.

Two fives.

- Two nines. - Hey there.

- Hey, Mom. - What are you playing?

It’s a new game we invented… called boredom.

Well, that’s great. Well, we’re off.

Any emergencies you can reach us here.

Oh, ok. Well, have a good time.

- Be good. - We will.

We always are.

Don’t stay up late.

Oh, we won’t.

Two six.

I’ll just put these down.

- Ok. - Yes.

Oh, my goodness, look at… Oh, ah…

Oh, I’m guessing an "at home" isn’t the same as a potluck.

- No. - Well done.

Complete and utter social humiliation.

My, my Miss American Pie.

The Otis’s I presume.

- I’m Deborah de Canterville. - Thank you.

Someone didn’t get the memo about the dress code.

Oh, thank you for the invitation Lady Deborah.

And this a cherry pie. It’s home made from a family recipe.

How delightfully… American.

I’m sure Cook will be thrilled.

Oh wow… it’s a butler…

Is she rich?

Loaded apparently.

Nice one.

So this is Featherstonehaugh, huh?

We pronounce it… Fanshaw.

Oh, it’s a lovely place. How long have you been here?

- Oh, about a thousand years. - Wow.

I inherited it from my father the 8th Earl.

And your son Lord Canterville lives here as well?

With my grandson Cecil.

It’s no secret that the Chase was mortgaged to the hilt

after my late husband gambled the entire Canterville fortune

on a 200-1 outsider at Newmarket.

Oh, goodness.

Quite the opposite.

When his horse lost he suffered a fatal heart attack.

A blessing really

as it saved him from living the rest of his life with the dishonour.

- Mummy… - Oh, this must be your son?

Yeh, I’m afraid so.

Er, St John. This is Mr. and Mrs. Heram Otis and daughter.

Nice to meet you. Actually… we pronounce it Hiram.

Hi.

Er, St John Canterville. How do you do?

Hi.

At least someone has some sense.

Hottest Spring in years and the men melting in penguin suits.

Don’t mind if I join you.

For heaven’s sake, St John!

Put it on before everyone else follows suit!

Ralph Stilton. Er, this is my sister Moppy

and the ugly mug is Cecil Canterville.

Hello… again.

I didn’t realise you two were acquainted?

We’re not… I saw him riding.

Nice horse.

Thanks.

- Magnus Opus. He’s a bit of a show-off. - Well, that makes two of you then.

He’s just jealous

‘cause Cecil’s winner of the Canterville Chase for the last 5 years running.

Yes… er… do you ride?

Er, there’s a ladies’ hurdle if you’re up for it.

I’d rather enter the steeplechase.

Isn’t open to lady jockeys.

Are they scared of being beaten by a girl?

For their own protection as much as anything. The fences are murderous.

How delightfully… English.

Nosh. Finally. I could chew the hind leg off a deer.

So what made you choose our neck of the English woods?

I have a family connection.

My, er, ancestor Simeon Otis was born here before sailing for the New World.

Hiram’s a member of the Mayflower Society.

- The whaty? - The descendants of the Puritans, Bluey.

We persecuted them in the 17th century.

It’s always been an ambition to trace my family tree.

But he’s not in any records I could find in the States,

so we decided to come here and track him down in person.

Is he the vacuum salesman?

Guilty as charged, Sir.

But, um, I’m taking a break from the boardroom.

He’s working on a new invention.

And my wife, Lucy, is a psychotherapist.

Oh, I’m surprised given the size of your fortune,

you feel the need to send your wife out to work.

Well, er, in America we define ourselves not by who we are but by what we do.

What do you do? Er, Mr.?

Bluey is the Duke of Stilton.

He’s the what?

Is that another funny English pronunciation?

It’s cheese! Blue cheese!

Doesn’t matter…

I suppose you have a private jet and super yacht and all that malarkey.

Not unless a rather ancient fishing sloop counts?

Shame.

- Ah, water? - Yes Sir.

Oh, dear.

He’s here.

How fare thee my pretties? Ha-ha-ha.

Now! Over here Sir Simon.

Say cheese?

Gooooaaaallll!

- Did you get him? - We got something.

So, did you have any more thoughts on the ladies’ race?

You should enter. Give my sister some competition.

Like I said. I’d rather enter the Steeplechase.

- Not for the Ladies! - Bluey should know. He’s head steward.

Don’t look at me. The laws were written when they rode side saddle.

And here was I thinking the British emancipated women in 1918.

They aren’t laws.

Merely a body of rules.

To be laws they would have to be decreed by the British Parliament.

I cite, by way of example, the 1975 Sex Discrimination

and the 2006 and 2010 Equality Acts.

- Ginny studied at Harvard Law. - Clever girl.

Are you planning on pursuing your career over here?

Um, she’s taking a break from her law studies

while she considers her next career move.

In our day women didn’t have time for jobs, did they, Debo?

Such a dinosaur, Daddy.

Everyone works these days.

And what do you do?

I’m a social influencer and global charity ambassador.

Oh, what charity?

"Mafricure." Manicures for Africa.

We collect unwanted nail varnish.

Like literally thousands a year from party bags and freebies etc.

Then we ship them to women in remote villages.

Because nail care isn’t just about grooming.

It’s about self-expression.

And even if you lack water, electricity and stuff…

it doesn’t mean you can’t present a confident self to the world.

Load of tripe.

I wouldst say, I went down well.

It was er… quite a performance.

Be it there was some deviation from the script?

Ah, granted it didst require some improvisation.

I couldst not know that they were so afeared that they wouldst sleep protected.

But… But thou saw’st their faces. Heard’st their screams of terror.

They were certainly… cacophonous.

I brought down the house.

And er… wa… what are you doing?

Eh, preparing for an encore.

Perchance ‘tis but time the spinster and I met.

What are you guys doing up?

I’m going to bed.

- Night, honey. - Just look, look, look.

Looks like a sort of yellow fog.

There will be trouble If you’ve been making smoke bombs…

Daddy?

Tomorrow, please can we go to the gypsy camp and get me a horse?

Sure. Start from the beginning, just one of you talk.

- Theodore, you first. - Well, he entered in,

in some kind of fog and formed into a guy

and he took his head off and dropped the head and then Frank kicked it…

- Back of the net! - And then he sort of dispirited back

into fog and went out the chimney.

Well, there’s a surprise. They don’t believe us.

No, that’s not completely true.

But the subconscious is very powerful thing, honey.

And we’re living in this big old house with tales of a ghost

sounds like a heck of a tale so why don’t we talk about it tomorrow?

Don’t bother.

I told you they wouldn’t believe us.

Are you so sure we did the right thing?

Ethelinda.

- Morning, Mrs. Umney. - Morning.

We saw the ghost last night.

But our parents don’t believe in ghosts.

They will…

Can you tell us about Sir Simon? Was he beheaded?

His bones have never been found.

Legend says that after he killed his wife,

he stole the family jewels and attempted to flee.

But he was captured

and walled up alive in a secret priest hole along with the treasure.

Woah!

Cursed to lament his wife by day and haunt the house at night.

So wait… What’s a priest hole?

The Cantervilles were Catholic during the reformation.

It was punishable by death

so houses such as this were fitted with secret rooms

and escape routes in the event of being raided.

Mrs. Umney. Are you saying that the Canterville treasure

is still here lying undiscovered in a hidden priest hole?

You think every square inch hasn’t been searched

by every generation of Cantervilles.

But found it will never be.

We’ll see about that.

They’re not for sale. Bound for the Wetherby Auctions.

Ah, sounds like they are for sale.

And for the right price you could save yourself a set of feed

and transportation costs.

Has she her eye on one?

The grey.

He’s not broken in. Won’t have any one but me on his back.

She’s quite the horse whisperer.

Let the horse decide.

What’s his name?

Pilgrim’s Prophecy.

What do you call him?

Jim.

Hey, Jim.

Woah, boy! Woah!

Come on, Jim, come on.

He won’t clear that…

Come on, Jim.

Woah, woah, boy… Wоah!

Oh, no, please no. Ginny.

No, no, no, Ginny. No, no, no, no.

Call 911!

Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. Don’t move.

Does it hurt?

- Where does it hurt? Are you all right? - I’m fine Dad, I’m fine.

Hey, honey. Maybe you can choose another one?

There’s no need… He said yes.

Hiram’s testing a new stain remover.

Remarkable, isn’t it?

What have you done?

Oh, if you’re talking about the Ghost…

Ah, I’m sure he’ll get over it. Why don’t I fetch a broom?

It did rather ruin the symmetry of the floor.

I mean one could regard it as an improvement?

Clodpate! That blood stain was the stuff of legend.

Admittedly, the facts are rather over embellished!

500 years! 500 years!

And then this bespectacled fopdoodle

and his fustylugs wife have the effrontery to remove it.

They will pay.

I will steal into their chamber,

place a clammy hand uponst her shoulder

whilst I whisper into her trembling husband’s ear

the awful secrets of the charnel-house.

And then proceed to the Spinster?

I am undecided.

She has not offended me.

I may confine myself to a few hollow groans from the wardrobe.

Yes, here he is…

Jonas the Graveless. The Corpse Snatcher of Chertsey Barn.

The London Times called me. "An apparition from the very bowels of hell itself."

You improved with every run.

‘Twill be my finest performance yet.

Ruddy Yanks.

Little minx has only sent in an entry for the Chase

and threatening legal action if we refuse.

What’s she riding?

Some brute of a beast according to Ralph.

Knocking on 17 hands and holds his own over fences.

He’ll give Magnus a run for his money.

Ces, is it too much to ask that you show some concern?

A horse is only as good as it’s rider.

It’s not about winning.

It’s about parvenu Americans

thinking they can come over here and overturn centuries of tradition.

- You’ll put a stop to it. - Huh. Ran it past the legals

- and there’s nothing we can do. - Good grief, Bluey.

Your father flew in the Battle of Britain.

Your ancestor drew up the battle plans for Waterloo.

I doubt either of them said, "there’s nothing we can do."

You just have to be more inventive.

Good boy, Jim. Good jump, good jump.

Canterville Chase is nineteen thousand, three hundred and fifty square feet.

How long will that take us.

Well, based on twenty-five square feet a day

and factoring in search to success ratio…

anywhere between an hour to eight hundred days…

- What are you doing? - Can’t you read the sign?

What? Biohazardous waste. That you?

They’re looking for the treasure.

By the way.

Your search area is less than ten thousand square feet…

it’s confined to the reformation part of the building.

- In the Great Wing and the North Tower. - How do you know?

The gypsies built it.

Our ancestor Peter Lovell was master builder.

What do rich boys want with treasure?

So we can get out of this place and go home.

Wait! Don’t go.

The Chase was built by gypsies.

If anyone knows about the priest hole?

Even if someone did why would they tell you?

How about we cut you in.

- Ten per cent. - Fifty.

Thirty. Final offer. Take it or leave it.

Fine! Ok then. Fifty/fifty.

Place your bets here. Sir, offering 9 to 1 for Archibald House.

Sixteen pounds over.

I’m carrying fifteen pounds. That makes me four pounds under.

You’ve been awarded a twenty pound penalty.

- What? - If you have a problem,

take it up with the Stewards.

Watch out. This should be good.

Horses registered with professionally licensed trainers

carry a twenty pound penalty.

He isn’t. I trained him.

Django Lovell is licensed with the Racing Regulatory Board,

who are yet to receive documents for change of ownership.

Until such time the horse accrues the stated penalty.

It’s all here in here in black and white if you’d like to read the small print.

Section 5. Para 7. Subsection 3.

Thank you. I will.

Bye, bye Miss American Pie.

Madam, Sir. 10 to 1 Honest Man.

It’s just a race.

I hate them. I hate this place.

But the main thing is you tried, honey, and we couldn’t be more proud of you.

We know you could have won it bareback.

Thanks, Dad.

I filed the paperwork.

His nibs’ cousin is head of the Point-to-Point committee.

Hmm, figures.

Now, I’m as good as my word. But there’s no harm

- putting it in writing. - What’s this?

If the Cantervilles can ban you in perpetuity,

I can grant you tenancy of ten acres under the same terms.

It’s all there. Signed and notarised.

I told you.

Darn right you did. All this does is entitle you to change your mind.

My grandmother says you can come for tea on Wednesday.

Ok, we’ll be there. Wanna check out the horses?

Yeh.

Find us a good spot.

Six runners and riders.

Leading the betting. 2-1 on favourite Magnus Opus.

The one to beat today.

Fleeting Interest and Mucky Duck at 5-1.

Honest Man and Archibald House 12-1.

Village Drama the outside chance at 50-1.

And er, oh, it looks like we have a seventh runner.

Number 9. Pilgrim’s Prophecy

who was withdrawn on a penalty but looks to have re-entered the race…

…without a saddle.

Thank you.

Weight restrictions are inclusive of tack.

Although there’s no rule prohibiting riding bareback.

If you’d like to read the small print. Section 8. Para 12. Subsection 6.

Stupid girl.

Looks like she shed the extra weight.

Give him a view of the fences.

Crikey. Hope the meat wagon’s standing by.

Listen. Well done you for making your point.

It’s not worth breaking your neck over though.

Your concern is duly noted.

Hiram! Hiram! Stop her.

And the Starter’s flag is up…

Right.

And they’re off for the 210th Canterville Chase!

The runners heading for the first of 13 fences over 16 furlongs.

And Magnus Opus and Mucky Duck are among the first to show.

Village Drama slowly away.

And as they settle down it’s Magnus Opus from Mucky Duck…

- Need a better view? - …with Archibald House being

- pressed by Honest Man… - Where are you going?

To get a better view.

You want a better view of our daughter trying to kill herself?

She’s not fallen yet.

Village Drama and trailing the field is Pilgrim’s Prophecy

looking a long way off the early pace, as they approach the first.

And as they head down the hill it’s Magnus Opus

who just shows clear of Honest Man.

Mucky Duck a close third. Nothing between these three as they hit the second.

Аnd Village Drama is down and taken one…

no, no, no, two down with him!

And there’s havoc as Pilgrim’s Prophecy comes up behind and clears it well!

- Wonderful Amazon your girl. - Only four horses left…

- She’s still on! - … as they head for Devil’s Dyke.

Magnus Opus holding the lead.

Honest Man and Mucky Duck a neck behind.

Pilgrim’s Prophecy making steady progress at the back…

Ooh, and it looks as if Honest Man has run out of steam

and out of the race as the remaining three reach the ridge.

- Move! - Get away!

… And here they come down the hill as they make for the final fence…

Here she comes…

You can look now, she’s doing great.

… Looks like we lost Mucky Duck on the ridge,

but Pilgrim’s Prophecy is making up the distance. Half a length behind and…

- …it’s neck and neck now. - Come on Cessie, come on,

- you can do it! - Magnus Opus goes first…

Pilgrim’s Prophecy… and…

Magnus Opus!

In first place, number four, Magnus Opus.

Ridden and trained by The Honourable Cecil Canterville.

In second place number 9 Pilgrim’s Prophecy,

trained and ridden by Miss Virginia Otis.

Congratulations. Well ridden.

Thanks. You know you would have beaten me with a saddle.

- Guess I’ll see you next year then. - I’ll look forward to it.

And the trophy today awarded by Lady Deborah Canterville

to grandson Cecil for the 6th year in a row.

- Well done, Cecil. - Thank you.

Sorry about back there. It’s er… Mucky.

He can get a bit bolshy. It wasn’t, it wasn’t er… deliberate.

- I hope he’s ok. - Yes.

So do er… do you play tennis?

Er… yeh.

Well, great er… mixed doubles Monday 3 o’clock.

- And the runner up prize… - Sure.

goes to Miss Virginia Otis.

U.S.A. U.S.A. U.S.A.

Looks like the Canterville Chase is now open to lady riders without saddles.

- Congratulations. - Thank you.

Picture of the winner and runner up, please.

You don’t mind if I borrow my fiancé for a photo?

Sure.

Close the door, Hun, it’s freezing.

I’ve heard about the British stiff upper lip.

But all it’s given me is a stiff upper back.

Ow… ow, that hurts… but in a good way. Ah.

Whoa! Lucy!

Don’t move, Hiram.

Ok, buddy…

Lucy.

My name is Lucy. We mean you no harm.

Friend. Do… do you think he even understands?

I, I, I don’t know. Poor guy. He doesn’t look too good.

How dare you!

Can you keep the noise down? Some of us are trying to…

Good evening. You must be Sir Simon.

It’s nice to meet you.

I guess we owe the boys an apology.

Never in an uninterrupted, brilliant career

of five hundred years have I ever been so grossly insulted!

And th… and then these wretched modern Americans

offer me condolences and friendship!

No ghost in history has ever been treated in this manner.

Now they appear to have offended the Ghost.

We welcome these people with open arms, and this is how they repay us.

I’d hardly call them open.

Top photo of Cecil and Virginia. We should get a copy.

Bright side. At least she didn’t win.

They are under the impression they lost the battle but won the war.

Trust me. This war hasn’t even started.