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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:50,710 --> 00:00:53,130 ["Love" by Michael Bublé playing] 2 00:01:04,140 --> 00:01:05,440 [gun cocks] 3 00:01:07,980 --> 00:01:09,020 [loud burst] 4 00:01:19,870 --> 00:01:21,660 [people chattering] 5 00:01:22,790 --> 00:01:24,080 [sighs deeply] 6 00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:28,440 [man 1] There she is! 7 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:30,590 [cheering and applauding] 8 00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:32,450 Gloria! 9 00:01:32,650 --> 00:01:33,910 Hi. 10 00:01:34,110 --> 00:01:34,990 Welcome! 11 00:01:35,190 --> 00:01:36,740 - You look great. - Thank you! 12 00:01:36,940 --> 00:01:39,120 - Darcy, where have you been? - Hey! Hi! 13 00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:41,750 I was just taking a minute. Is that allowed? 14 00:01:41,950 --> 00:01:43,210 Not at your wedding. 15 00:01:43,410 --> 00:01:45,790 - Your Ketel One martini. - Oh. 16 00:01:45,990 --> 00:01:47,560 Obrigada, Jerome. 17 00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:50,510 Where is the groomzilla? 18 00:01:50,710 --> 00:01:52,510 Tom is not a groomzilla, okay? 19 00:01:52,710 --> 00:01:56,260 He just committed to making every detail perfect. 20 00:01:56,460 --> 00:01:59,390 You should have taken your father's money for this wedding. 21 00:01:59,590 --> 00:02:02,890 Then, professionals would make everything perfecto for you. 22 00:02:03,090 --> 00:02:04,690 Mom, I've told you. We are adults 23 00:02:04,890 --> 00:02:08,610 and we wanted to pay for our own wedding so it could be what we wanted. 24 00:02:08,810 --> 00:02:11,250 And this is what you wanted? 25 00:02:11,710 --> 00:02:12,990 That was a printing error. 26 00:02:13,190 --> 00:02:15,780 ["Love" by Michael Bublé continues playing] 27 00:02:15,980 --> 00:02:21,790 ♪ E is even more than Anyone that you adore ♪ 28 00:02:21,990 --> 00:02:28,480 ♪ And love is all That I can give to you ♪ 29 00:02:29,100 --> 00:02:34,690 ♪ Love is more than Just a game for two ♪ 30 00:02:35,940 --> 00:02:39,150 ♪ Two in love can make it ♪ 31 00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:42,350 [drill whirring] 32 00:02:42,550 --> 00:02:47,230 ♪ Love was made For me and you ♪ 33 00:02:47,430 --> 00:02:48,650 - Hoy! - [clicking] 34 00:02:48,850 --> 00:02:49,830 Oh! Oh! 35 00:02:53,210 --> 00:02:54,990 Oh! Hey! 36 00:02:55,190 --> 00:02:57,110 Oh, I almost shoot you! 37 00:02:57,310 --> 00:02:59,280 I thought you're a pirate but you're just a guy. 38 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:01,870 - [guard laughing] - [grunts] 39 00:03:02,070 --> 00:03:05,350 [sighs] Ah, this is for your bride, huh? 40 00:03:06,390 --> 00:03:08,290 [Tom] Yeah, trying to surprise her. 41 00:03:08,490 --> 00:03:10,800 I saw something just like it on Etsy, 42 00:03:10,990 --> 00:03:14,360 and it looked perfect, but now I'm not so sure. 43 00:03:15,020 --> 00:03:18,090 Now, I wanna be romantic but not too corny. 44 00:03:18,290 --> 00:03:20,070 There's a really fine line between the two. 45 00:03:21,700 --> 00:03:23,490 Aren't you supposed to be over there? 46 00:03:24,490 --> 00:03:26,690 Your rehearsal party. 47 00:03:26,890 --> 00:03:27,910 Oh, my God! 48 00:03:28,290 --> 00:03:31,480 I need you to talk to your father's yoga teacher. 49 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:33,530 - Girlfriend? - Yeah, whatever. 50 00:03:33,730 --> 00:03:35,490 She keeps smiling at me. 51 00:03:35,690 --> 00:03:38,530 Can you tell her to stop smiling at me? 52 00:03:38,730 --> 00:03:39,620 Yes, Mom. 53 00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:42,080 I will tell Dad's girlfriend to stop smiling at you. 54 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:43,620 That won't cause any issues. 55 00:03:43,820 --> 00:03:46,500 Also, I cannot sit at a table with Tom's mother. 56 00:03:46,700 --> 00:03:51,170 On the boat here, she tried to start a sing-along to South Pacific. 57 00:03:51,370 --> 00:03:53,050 She's excited. Okay? 58 00:03:53,250 --> 00:03:55,130 She's never been out of the country before. 59 00:03:55,330 --> 00:03:56,880 What kind of a grown woman has never left the country? 60 00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:58,720 Please, Mom, for two days, can you just get along with... 61 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:00,140 Carol! 62 00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:02,930 ♪ I'm gonna wash that man Right outta my hair ♪ 63 00:04:03,130 --> 00:04:06,390 ♪ I'm gonna wash that man Right outta my hair ♪ 64 00:04:06,590 --> 00:04:09,270 ♪ And send him on his way ♪ 65 00:04:09,470 --> 00:04:11,120 [both laughing] 66 00:04:12,250 --> 00:04:13,520 I've been looking forward to this moment 67 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:16,070 ever since baby Tommy was cut out of my abdomen. 68 00:04:16,270 --> 00:04:17,740 - [laughs forcefully] - Oh, my God, 69 00:04:17,940 --> 00:04:19,910 I have never been on a private island before. 70 00:04:20,110 --> 00:04:22,620 I've never been even on an island before. 71 00:04:22,820 --> 00:04:23,990 Actually, you know what? That's not true. 72 00:04:24,190 --> 00:04:26,370 I went with the Heibermans. We went to Mackinac, you know, 73 00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:28,180 before they moved to Bloomington. 74 00:04:28,930 --> 00:04:30,710 Have you ever been to Mackinac, Renata? 75 00:04:30,910 --> 00:04:33,840 I don't know what that is or most of the words you just said. 76 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:35,920 [Carol] Wouldn't she just love it, Larry? 77 00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:37,340 Oh. Hi, Darcy. 78 00:04:37,540 --> 00:04:38,420 Hey, Larry. 79 00:04:38,620 --> 00:04:40,130 I didn't see you there. [laughs] 80 00:04:40,330 --> 00:04:41,720 - Hi. - [Larry] Hi, Renata. 81 00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:43,300 [Carol] Guess what? We got you a gift. 82 00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:45,100 - Oh, you didn't have to. - [Carol] Yes, we did. 83 00:04:45,300 --> 00:04:46,890 It's the biggest day of our lives tomorrow. 84 00:04:47,090 --> 00:04:47,980 What are you talking about? 85 00:04:48,180 --> 00:04:50,370 - Come on, open it. - Okay. [chuckles] 86 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,770 - Larry, she's opening. - I get... Oh. 87 00:04:53,970 --> 00:04:55,110 Ah-uh-huh. 88 00:04:55,310 --> 00:04:57,290 Oh. Someone just left that in the bathroom. 89 00:05:00,130 --> 00:05:01,910 [Tom] Oh, you're a lifesaver, Margy. 90 00:05:02,110 --> 00:05:03,370 I cannot believe I'm late for this. 91 00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:04,740 The guests are already mingling, 92 00:05:04,940 --> 00:05:07,930 and your Darcy is talking to both the mothers. 93 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,470 Oh, no. Go. Go, go, go, go, go, go. 94 00:05:13,890 --> 00:05:15,100 [Darcy] Oh! 95 00:05:15,810 --> 00:05:18,300 [Renata] You got my daughter rusty knives? 96 00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:20,510 It's your "something borrowed." 97 00:05:20,710 --> 00:05:23,050 Everyone in our family uses them on their wedding day. 98 00:05:23,250 --> 00:05:25,350 Brings you a lifetime of good luck. 99 00:05:25,550 --> 00:05:26,560 Except for Uncle Greg 100 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:29,350 who ended up getting decapitated on that forklift. 101 00:05:29,550 --> 00:05:31,190 But that's not the knife's fault. 102 00:05:31,380 --> 00:05:32,520 [man] Darcy! 103 00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:34,080 Dad! 104 00:05:34,660 --> 00:05:36,440 [praises in Spanish] 105 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:38,150 - Gracias. - [both] Mm. 106 00:05:38,350 --> 00:05:40,360 - [Carol laughing] - Carol, you look lovely. 107 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:42,420 [kissing] Mm. Mm. 108 00:05:43,090 --> 00:05:44,160 Larry, hello, sir. 109 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:45,450 - [Larry] Hey! - I'm gonna kiss you too. 110 00:05:45,650 --> 00:05:47,030 - Oh. - Mm. 111 00:05:47,230 --> 00:05:49,090 - Sorry. Done? - Yeah, okay. 112 00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:52,180 Renata. 113 00:05:52,770 --> 00:05:54,020 Roberto. 114 00:05:55,310 --> 00:05:57,850 I love that you two are still friends. 115 00:05:58,520 --> 00:05:59,670 - Peekaboo! [chuckles] - Oh. 116 00:05:59,870 --> 00:06:01,050 Hi! 117 00:06:01,250 --> 00:06:03,010 [both] Mwah. Mwah. 118 00:06:03,210 --> 00:06:05,240 Mm! 119 00:06:05,690 --> 00:06:09,470 Oh, Darcy, I am so honored to bear witness 120 00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:12,910 to this sacred observance of rebirth and devotion. 121 00:06:13,990 --> 00:06:16,620 - Same. - Thank you. [chuckles] 122 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:19,650 [gasps] Renata. 123 00:06:19,850 --> 00:06:21,920 [dramatic music plays] 124 00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:26,030 I need to go to the ladies' room. 125 00:06:26,230 --> 00:06:27,530 [Carol] Hey, me too. 126 00:06:27,730 --> 00:06:30,720 When I'm in formal wear, I like to pee standing up. How about you? 127 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:33,960 - Sorry. - That's okay. 128 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:35,270 Thank you, Margy. 129 00:06:38,020 --> 00:06:39,020 Oh, hey. 130 00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:43,470 - Hey. - [Tom] How are you? 131 00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:44,980 [Darcy sighs] 132 00:06:46,110 --> 00:06:47,720 - Oh. - [whispers] Oh, my God. 133 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:49,030 - That's for you. - Thanks. 134 00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:50,390 Big papi. 135 00:06:50,590 --> 00:06:52,390 - My man. Mwah. - [Robert grunts] 136 00:06:52,590 --> 00:06:54,890 - This... I just... - Nice to see you, Dad. 137 00:06:55,090 --> 00:06:57,060 - Señor. - Let's just, uh, stick 138 00:06:57,260 --> 00:06:58,480 - with "Robert" for a little while. - [Harriett chuckles] 139 00:06:58,680 --> 00:06:59,900 - Right. Robert. - [Harriett] Tom, I heard 140 00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:02,070 you were the one who found this incredible resort. 141 00:07:02,270 --> 00:07:04,030 - Yeah. I did. - Yes. 142 00:07:04,230 --> 00:07:07,360 I actually study bioresonance, and this place is 143 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:08,950 teeming with energetic vibrations. 144 00:07:09,150 --> 00:07:10,950 - [Darcy] Mm. - [Robert] It's just like 145 00:07:11,150 --> 00:07:12,910 - our room teeming with bugs. - [both laugh] 146 00:07:13,110 --> 00:07:17,290 The, uh, Four Seasons would've been nice, but you didn't want my help, so... 147 00:07:17,490 --> 00:07:18,380 Some things are more important 148 00:07:18,580 --> 00:07:19,500 - than money, Dad. - Yeah. 149 00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:21,230 That's debatable. [chuckles] 150 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,010 Well, I need another drink. 151 00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:24,300 - Yeah. - [speaks Spanish] 152 00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:26,090 No, I'm good. Gracias. 153 00:07:26,290 --> 00:07:27,480 [Robert] Okay, well... 154 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:29,360 I'm fine. 155 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:32,850 [sighs] Is he ever gonna like me? 156 00:07:33,050 --> 00:07:36,120 Yes, if you just chill out and start acting like yourself. 157 00:07:37,450 --> 00:07:39,120 [whispers] God, our families are a lot. 158 00:07:39,580 --> 00:07:41,480 - What do you mean? - And where have you been? 159 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:43,070 I was just finishing up a little project. 160 00:07:43,270 --> 00:07:44,150 What'd I miss? 161 00:07:44,350 --> 00:07:46,610 Oh, well, your mom gave me cursed knives. 162 00:07:46,810 --> 00:07:49,240 And then my mom almost yelled at my dad's girlfriend for smiling. 163 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:50,570 - Oh. - Oh, also, 164 00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:53,490 your cousin, Amy, asked where she could charge her vibrator. 165 00:07:53,690 --> 00:07:55,500 Oh, so, Cousin Amy came? 166 00:07:55,700 --> 00:07:56,830 She will soon. 167 00:07:57,030 --> 00:07:59,040 - [laughs] - Um, what are you wearing? 168 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:00,210 Oh, it's, uh... 169 00:08:00,410 --> 00:08:01,540 Why is your hair all wet? 170 00:08:01,740 --> 00:08:03,050 Oh, I... I just... I... 171 00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:05,520 You know, I went for a little moonlight swim. 172 00:08:05,980 --> 00:08:07,170 You fell in the water, didn't you? 173 00:08:07,370 --> 00:08:09,190 Yeah, I fell in the water. [laughing] 174 00:08:11,570 --> 00:08:13,780 You know, it's kinda cute how bad you are at lying. 175 00:08:18,660 --> 00:08:21,250 Just... Just promise me... 176 00:08:22,370 --> 00:08:25,190 Promise me, you won't let go of my hand for the rest of the night, okay? 177 00:08:25,390 --> 00:08:26,400 I promise. 178 00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:28,610 ["Pony" by Ginuwine plays on speakers] 179 00:08:28,810 --> 00:08:29,840 Ace. 180 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:32,990 Ace just put on the honeymoon playlist. I need to change it. 181 00:08:33,190 --> 00:08:35,120 Well, is "need" the right word? 182 00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:36,720 - Dad, please. - [Larry] Oh, yeah. 183 00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:39,250 [song stops playing] 184 00:08:39,450 --> 00:08:40,790 Tommy, Tommy, I need you for, like, five minutes. 185 00:08:40,990 --> 00:08:42,040 - What? No, no, no, no. - It's an emergency. 186 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:43,540 I've been working on my best-man speech, right, 187 00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:45,100 and it is going really well. 188 00:08:45,810 --> 00:08:47,520 - Hi. - Hey. 189 00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:50,440 - [imperceptible] - [music plays on speakers] 190 00:08:50,940 --> 00:08:53,320 Dad's girlfriend just asked me what my love language is. 191 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:55,450 She sucks. 192 00:08:55,860 --> 00:08:57,560 Happiest I've seen you in 20 years. 193 00:08:57,760 --> 00:08:58,730 - Thanks. - Cheers. 194 00:08:58,930 --> 00:09:01,200 [helicopter approaching] 195 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,380 [upbeat hip-hop music playing] 196 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:10,840 [Jamie gasps] 197 00:09:11,630 --> 00:09:13,090 Dad invited your ex? 198 00:09:19,140 --> 00:09:21,460 God! How does he just keep getting hotter? 199 00:09:21,660 --> 00:09:24,100 Looks like he's leading a porn safari. 200 00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:26,000 I didn't wanna invite him, 201 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:29,720 but Dad insisted because he said Bali was so close. 202 00:09:29,910 --> 00:09:31,260 Wow. Wow, wow, wow. wow, wow. 203 00:09:31,460 --> 00:09:33,470 Dad is a messy bitch who loves the drama. 204 00:09:33,670 --> 00:09:36,860 [Darcy] Well, he never RSVP'd, so we thought we were in the clear. 205 00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:42,140 I didn't think he'd actually come. You know, he never RSVP'd. 206 00:09:42,340 --> 00:09:45,960 No, that's a very, very cool move. I'm really excited to meet him. 207 00:09:46,870 --> 00:09:48,480 Oops, looks like he was in a rush 208 00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:50,280 and forgot to button his shirt all the way up. 209 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:51,450 Deedee. [exhales sharply] 210 00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:52,700 - Hey, man, how are you? - Hey. 211 00:09:52,900 --> 00:09:54,570 Hi, Sean! [laughs] 212 00:09:54,770 --> 00:09:57,660 [Sean grunts] I am so sorry that I'm late. 213 00:09:57,860 --> 00:09:59,500 Your dad needed me to go to Japan at the last minute, 214 00:09:59,690 --> 00:10:01,620 and then, you know, I had to charter a jet from Kyoto, 215 00:10:01,820 --> 00:10:03,710 - just like a whole thing. - No, it's okay. We just... 216 00:10:03,910 --> 00:10:05,210 You know, we didn't know you were coming. 217 00:10:05,410 --> 00:10:07,500 [Sean] Your dad and I wanted to surprise you. 218 00:10:07,700 --> 00:10:09,460 Look, babe, you know I wasn't gonna miss your wedding 219 00:10:09,660 --> 00:10:12,010 for anything in this world, right? 220 00:10:12,210 --> 00:10:13,880 - Sean, I want you to meet Tom. - Tom. 221 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:15,640 - Oh, hey! [chuckles] - Tom! 222 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:17,600 - Tom, Tom, Tom. - Sean. Yeah. 223 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:18,720 - Nice to meet you. - Hey, Tom. 224 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:21,980 Man, I have been dying to meet Deedee's ball player, man. 225 00:10:22,180 --> 00:10:23,270 What position you play? 226 00:10:23,470 --> 00:10:25,100 - I'm a... Well, I... - He's a designated hitter. 227 00:10:25,300 --> 00:10:27,520 [Robert] Uh, unfortunately, they didn't pick up his contract, 228 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:29,540 so, technically, he's unemployed, but... 229 00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:31,860 Cut from the minors at 40. 230 00:10:32,060 --> 00:10:34,660 That's a tough break, Tom. But if you stay positive, 231 00:10:34,850 --> 00:10:36,950 you could have a really great future in coaching. 232 00:10:37,150 --> 00:10:38,050 You know what I mean? 233 00:10:39,590 --> 00:10:40,590 Yeah. 234 00:10:41,180 --> 00:10:42,580 That is an excellent idea. 235 00:10:42,780 --> 00:10:43,790 - I think so. - Thank you. 236 00:10:43,990 --> 00:10:44,930 Yeah. 237 00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:49,000 Is it time for dinner? 238 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:50,300 [applause] 239 00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:53,420 We are so very touched that you all made the trek out here. 240 00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:57,590 You know, we really wanted to pick a place that was convenient for none of you. 241 00:10:57,790 --> 00:10:59,260 [all laughing] 242 00:10:59,460 --> 00:11:00,850 You know what, I talk too much at the law firm. 243 00:11:01,050 --> 00:11:04,940 So I am going to hand it over to the man of the hour, 244 00:11:05,140 --> 00:11:07,410 the guy who made this whole weekend happen, 245 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:09,570 my lovely Tom. 246 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:12,330 [cheering and applauding] 247 00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:15,300 Thank you. 248 00:11:15,670 --> 00:11:17,240 - [man] Do it! - [woman 1] You go, girl! 249 00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:18,320 [Tom] Uh... 250 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:20,050 - [woman 2] Yeah! - [whispers] You got this. 251 00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:21,870 - Right? - [laughter] 252 00:11:22,070 --> 00:11:22,950 I can just wing this, right? 253 00:11:23,150 --> 00:11:26,790 Darcy talked a lot about, uh, her time in the Peace Corps in Bali, 254 00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:28,420 and I thought, you know, 255 00:11:28,620 --> 00:11:30,040 how cool would it be if we got married there. 256 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:34,260 And then, I realized that Bali was un-Bali-vably expensive. 257 00:11:34,460 --> 00:11:36,510 [scattered laughter] 258 00:11:36,710 --> 00:11:38,300 I think the Philippines are better. 259 00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:39,690 - [guests clap] - Right, Ace? 260 00:11:40,490 --> 00:11:42,360 Ace agrees. Next. 261 00:11:43,410 --> 00:11:45,180 - [woman] Aw! - [guests exclaim] 262 00:11:45,380 --> 00:11:47,480 I know a lot of you were there to witness my proposal. 263 00:11:47,680 --> 00:11:49,830 The shock and surprise. Priceless. 264 00:11:50,370 --> 00:11:52,900 Anyway, Mom and Dad, I just wanna say thank you. 265 00:11:53,100 --> 00:11:55,570 Your commitment is something that we can only aspire to. 266 00:11:55,770 --> 00:11:57,840 - Oh, my God. - [Tom] Robert, Renata, 267 00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:01,760 we hope our marriage is nothing like yours. [laughing] 268 00:12:04,260 --> 00:12:05,580 Pivot, baby. [whispers] Pivot. 269 00:12:05,780 --> 00:12:09,040 I mean, that's not a... a character judgment, by any means. 270 00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:11,840 I mean, 50% of marriages end in divorce, right? 271 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:13,380 - [mic feedback] - Ha! Wonderful. 272 00:12:13,580 --> 00:12:14,840 [chuckling] Cheers, everybody. 273 00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:16,300 - Cheers, cheers, cheers. - Cheers. 274 00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:17,550 [Tom clears throat] 275 00:12:17,750 --> 00:12:18,930 [jazz music playing] 276 00:12:19,130 --> 00:12:20,300 Oh, my God. That did not go well. 277 00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:22,100 No, that was awesome. 278 00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:24,100 - [glass clinking] - [music stops] 279 00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:27,770 So Deedee and I met in the Peace Corps in Bali. 280 00:12:27,970 --> 00:12:31,580 And one day, we had to run these medical supplies to this village. 281 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,320 I decided to teach her how to drive the boat, 282 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,150 so I could sleep and she could do all the work. 283 00:12:36,350 --> 00:12:37,690 [all laughing] 284 00:12:37,890 --> 00:12:38,860 [Tom chuckles dryly] 285 00:12:39,060 --> 00:12:41,320 The first time our girl gets behind the wheel, 286 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:44,370 she gets a damn speeding ticket from the coast guard. 287 00:12:44,570 --> 00:12:45,620 [all laughing] 288 00:12:45,820 --> 00:12:48,210 Right? Deedee doesn't do anything half-assed. 289 00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,060 She sees what she wants, 290 00:12:50,890 --> 00:12:53,420 she goes after it, and she doesn't settle for less. 291 00:12:53,620 --> 00:12:54,500 [Tom] It's true, it's true. 292 00:12:54,700 --> 00:12:56,050 [Sean] So, as some of you may know, 293 00:12:56,250 --> 00:12:59,480 Deedee and I were, 100 years ago, were engaged. 294 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:01,720 But she called it off. 295 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:03,550 [guests exclaim sadly] 296 00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:05,510 No. No, no, no, no. 297 00:13:05,710 --> 00:13:07,160 She was waiting for Tom. 298 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:12,730 And that guy right there has gotta be a one-in-a-million supernova 299 00:13:12,930 --> 00:13:14,570 to snag that beautiful soul. 300 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:16,070 - Thanks. - [all applauding] 301 00:13:16,270 --> 00:13:18,860 - Thanks, Sean. - So, in conclusion, 302 00:13:19,060 --> 00:13:20,920 I just wanna say one thing to you, Deedee. 303 00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:23,240 Katuk kak ci. 304 00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:24,970 [laughing] 305 00:13:25,380 --> 00:13:27,720 [all applauding and cheering] 306 00:13:29,050 --> 00:13:30,620 What's... Katuk kak what? 307 00:13:30,820 --> 00:13:32,710 Oh, God. Um, it's hard to explain. 308 00:13:32,910 --> 00:13:35,040 It actually means, um, 309 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:37,670 "Fuck your grandpa." [chuckles] It's just... 310 00:13:37,870 --> 00:13:39,260 Well, that's not that hard to explain. 311 00:13:39,460 --> 00:13:42,130 Yeah, well, I don't know. Just, in Balinese, it's super offensive. 312 00:13:42,330 --> 00:13:44,510 Yeah, well, it's offensive everywhere, no? 313 00:13:44,710 --> 00:13:47,430 - Yeah. I mean... It just... - "Fuck your grandpa!" 314 00:13:47,630 --> 00:13:49,520 - It just made us laugh. - It is funny. 315 00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:51,850 - [glass clinks] - [woman] Hi, everybody. 316 00:13:52,050 --> 00:13:53,980 I'm Tom's baby sister, Jeannie. 317 00:13:54,180 --> 00:13:55,900 - Yeah, Jeannie! - Hey, Jeannie! 318 00:13:56,100 --> 00:13:58,440 Wow, Sean's speech, wasn't it somethin'? 319 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:00,750 [cheering and applauding] 320 00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:03,090 [spray can hissing] 321 00:14:06,590 --> 00:14:07,590 [Darcy] Honey? 322 00:14:09,300 --> 00:14:13,720 Maybe we should just, you know, call it a night. 323 00:14:14,180 --> 00:14:15,380 [Tom] No, babe, you go ahead. 324 00:14:15,580 --> 00:14:18,670 I gotta finish these centerpieces and rearrange the seating chart 325 00:14:18,870 --> 00:14:20,940 now that Sean decided to show up. 326 00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,150 - [grunts] - Tom! 327 00:14:26,190 --> 00:14:27,200 Tom! 328 00:14:29,450 --> 00:14:31,160 [whispers] Let's have sex. 329 00:14:34,330 --> 00:14:36,610 Yes. Yes. 330 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:38,770 Just... Just... Just... Just gimme... Just... 331 00:14:38,970 --> 00:14:40,920 I just have to finish these pineapples real quick. 332 00:14:43,170 --> 00:14:44,550 Okay. Um... 333 00:14:45,210 --> 00:14:52,180 But do you really have to finish pineapples right now? 334 00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:59,670 Oh, my God. I love you in a T-shirt and no pants. 335 00:14:59,870 --> 00:15:00,750 [inhales sharply] 336 00:15:00,950 --> 00:15:03,170 I'm just gonna reach over here, 337 00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:06,550 this high shelf, so I can get something to read. 338 00:15:06,750 --> 00:15:10,160 Why is it so sexy when you can't reach high shelves? 339 00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:15,270 - So, um... - [grunting softly] 340 00:15:15,470 --> 00:15:16,870 I'm sorry, miss, but it was... 341 00:15:17,660 --> 00:15:18,860 - It's this one here? - No, no, no. 342 00:15:19,060 --> 00:15:20,070 It's the one over there. 343 00:15:20,260 --> 00:15:21,480 - Sir, please. - Oh, this one. 344 00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:22,790 - This one. - Yes. 345 00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:25,200 - That? - Thank you, sir. 346 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:27,340 Okay. Glad I could help. 347 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:33,640 [Darcy giggling] 348 00:15:41,850 --> 00:15:43,190 I miss you. 349 00:15:45,190 --> 00:15:46,690 It's been a while, huh? 350 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:48,650 I know. 351 00:15:49,650 --> 00:15:50,860 I miss you. 352 00:15:57,580 --> 00:15:58,830 [Tom moans] 353 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:01,790 Could I ask you a question? 354 00:16:02,330 --> 00:16:03,880 Is it a sexy question? 355 00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:06,340 Um... 356 00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:10,380 Just wondering why you called off the engagement with Sean again. 357 00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:14,180 That is so not sexy. [chuckles] 358 00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,680 I... I told you this. 359 00:16:17,220 --> 00:16:18,620 We were young, we were in Bali, 360 00:16:18,820 --> 00:16:21,270 and then one day, I woke up and it just didn't feel right. 361 00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:24,060 - Okay? - Okay. 362 00:16:26,770 --> 00:16:28,610 [Tom moaning] 363 00:16:29,190 --> 00:16:31,190 But you said yes. 364 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,010 You know, what changed your mind? 365 00:16:34,210 --> 00:16:35,720 [Darcy sighs] 366 00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:37,580 [chuckling] I don't know. 367 00:16:38,540 --> 00:16:41,020 Uh, he... he started working with my dad, 368 00:16:41,220 --> 00:16:45,610 he changed, and all he cared about was status and money. 369 00:16:45,810 --> 00:16:47,860 [chuckles] Anyway, why do you want to talk about my ex 370 00:16:48,060 --> 00:16:49,630 the night before our wedding? 371 00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:52,820 I don't know. Maybe because you invited him to our wedding? 372 00:16:53,020 --> 00:16:54,410 Remember, I didn't. 373 00:16:54,610 --> 00:16:57,540 My dad asked me to invite him. What was I supposed to say? 374 00:16:57,740 --> 00:16:58,960 I don't know. Uh, no? 375 00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:01,380 If you remember correctly, I didn't wanna invite anyone. 376 00:17:01,570 --> 00:17:03,880 - I wanted to elope. - [sighs] 377 00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:06,840 The only reason I agreed to a traditional wedding 378 00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:09,840 was because you said that we'd have moments alone. 379 00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:10,930 [knock on door] 380 00:17:11,130 --> 00:17:13,190 Hey, hello. It's Carol. 381 00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:16,740 Hi. Hello. 382 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:19,060 Your future mother-in-law, Carol. 383 00:17:19,260 --> 00:17:21,270 [chuckles] Yep, I know your name, Carol. 384 00:17:21,470 --> 00:17:24,400 I brought some of the extras for the welcome bags 385 00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:26,780 in case you want to make one for Sean. 386 00:17:26,970 --> 00:17:28,330 [Tom] Oh! Oh. 387 00:17:28,670 --> 00:17:29,880 Great. Thanks. 388 00:17:30,590 --> 00:17:31,780 All right, thanks. 389 00:17:31,980 --> 00:17:34,510 Tommy, she's not wearing any pants. 390 00:17:35,470 --> 00:17:37,120 - [gifts clatter] - I just want to ask, 391 00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:39,040 and... and I hope it's okay. 392 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:40,640 Is that genetics, 393 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:44,210 or is it, like, Pilates or something? 394 00:17:44,410 --> 00:17:45,380 Mom, now is not the time for this. 395 00:17:45,580 --> 00:17:47,880 [Carol] Yes, all right. But, you know, we need to get you outta here. 396 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:50,760 It's the night before your wedding, and you can't spend the night together. 397 00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:52,880 - No, Ma, it's just... - You can't. It's bad luck. 398 00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:55,800 You know, his cousin, Jenna, she spent the night with her husband. 399 00:17:56,000 --> 00:18:00,030 Lo and behold, she got Lyme disease, and now she can't wear sandals. 400 00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:03,700 It's a tradition. 401 00:18:06,290 --> 00:18:07,920 [snoring softly] 402 00:18:16,170 --> 00:18:18,220 [upbeat music playing] 403 00:18:32,150 --> 00:18:33,940 [indistinct chatter and laughter] 404 00:18:46,830 --> 00:18:48,690 [bird squawking] 405 00:18:48,890 --> 00:18:51,040 [suspenseful music playing] 406 00:19:05,930 --> 00:19:08,940 [pirate leader] Oh. Look at the happy couple. 407 00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:11,310 [man laughs wickedly] 408 00:19:14,270 --> 00:19:15,650 Where have you been? 409 00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:17,900 You were supposed to do my hair. 410 00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:20,220 Now birds are gonna lay eggs in it. 411 00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:22,180 I know. I overslept. I'm sorry. 412 00:19:22,380 --> 00:19:23,520 [chuckles dryly] 413 00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,580 Kind of, sort of, slept with Ricky last night. 414 00:19:26,410 --> 00:19:28,230 - Ricky? - Yes. I'm sorry. 415 00:19:28,430 --> 00:19:30,770 I just, I was in the mood for something, you know, that wasn't quite right. 416 00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:32,830 Like ordering a hamburger at a sushi bar or something. 417 00:19:33,590 --> 00:19:35,070 I'm just gonna avoid him today. It's fine. 418 00:19:35,270 --> 00:19:36,610 He's Tom's best man. 419 00:19:36,810 --> 00:19:38,590 You two have to walk down the aisle together. 420 00:19:39,420 --> 00:19:41,990 I am very good at ignoring people that I'm standing next to. 421 00:19:42,190 --> 00:19:43,540 - No kidding. - Ready? 422 00:19:43,740 --> 00:19:45,890 I can't believe you agreed to wear Carol's wedding dress. 423 00:19:46,430 --> 00:19:47,520 - [splutters] - Okay. 424 00:19:47,970 --> 00:19:50,420 - [Jamie blowing] - Okay, okay. 425 00:19:50,620 --> 00:19:52,560 You look beautiful, no matter what. 426 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:55,550 She's ready! 427 00:19:55,750 --> 00:19:56,590 [Jeannie] Hey, should we all do 428 00:19:56,790 --> 00:19:57,840 - a round of tequila shots? - [sighs] 429 00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:01,430 [Carol] Well, I Scotchgarded the dress, so try not to inhale the chemicals. 430 00:20:01,630 --> 00:20:03,350 [Jamie] Where's the veil? Where's the veil? 431 00:20:03,550 --> 00:20:04,680 [huffs] Okay. 432 00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:05,980 [Jamie] Well, yes, tequila. 433 00:20:06,180 --> 00:20:07,520 [Jeannie] Unless we get the bottle, I'm not set. 434 00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:08,770 [Jamie] No, no tequila. 435 00:20:08,970 --> 00:20:10,110 Oh! 436 00:20:10,300 --> 00:20:12,610 The prettiest of them all. 437 00:20:12,810 --> 00:20:15,130 You look so much better than the rest of us. 438 00:20:15,630 --> 00:20:17,900 This dress is just wonderful. 439 00:20:18,100 --> 00:20:19,490 I wore it for my wedding, 440 00:20:19,690 --> 00:20:23,740 Jeannie wore it for hers, and now you're gonna wear it for yours. 441 00:20:23,940 --> 00:20:25,180 Oh, my gosh. 442 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:27,220 Look at you. 443 00:20:28,510 --> 00:20:30,960 Oh, it's white coral made out of tissue. 444 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:32,100 Um... 445 00:20:33,390 --> 00:20:36,260 Something doesn't, you know, feel right. 446 00:20:36,460 --> 00:20:37,840 [Carol] Do you think if we blew-dried the veil, 447 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:39,300 - it would be more fluffy? - Okay, so what I'm seeing is, 448 00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:40,470 I think that the left boob is actually slightly lower 449 00:20:40,670 --> 00:20:41,970 - than the right boob. - Like floof, floof, like that? 450 00:20:42,170 --> 00:20:45,560 Hey, something kinda magical happened with me last night. 451 00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:47,230 - Theoretically speaking... - [cell phone chiming] 452 00:20:47,430 --> 00:20:49,440 ...would it be weird or wonderful 453 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:51,400 - if we married sisters? - [cell phone vibrates] 454 00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:52,790 Yeah, sure. 455 00:20:57,210 --> 00:20:58,990 [Ricky] Hey, psst, Larry. Tom's being boring. 456 00:20:59,190 --> 00:21:00,570 Come film me doing a backflip! 457 00:21:00,770 --> 00:21:02,200 [Larry] Oh, I... I don't think I should walk. 458 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:03,380 [Ricky] All right. 459 00:21:05,010 --> 00:21:06,720 [guests chattering] 460 00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:15,900 [suspenseful music playing] 461 00:21:27,450 --> 00:21:28,570 It's time. 462 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:42,880 Wow! 463 00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:45,470 [sighs] Look at you. 464 00:21:46,090 --> 00:21:48,050 [soft music playing] 465 00:21:53,810 --> 00:21:54,980 Okay. 466 00:21:55,980 --> 00:21:57,190 You wanted to talk. 467 00:21:58,270 --> 00:22:00,570 I know it's last minute. 468 00:22:01,860 --> 00:22:03,030 I just... 469 00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:07,700 I hated the way things ended last night, and... 470 00:22:08,410 --> 00:22:11,410 And I didn't want our wedding day to start off on a bad note. 471 00:22:13,910 --> 00:22:15,120 Oh, my God. 472 00:22:16,620 --> 00:22:17,770 [sighs in relief] 473 00:22:17,970 --> 00:22:19,690 God, I thought you were calling it off. 474 00:22:19,890 --> 00:22:21,280 [Tom chuckling] 475 00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:23,280 Calling off the wedding? [scoffs] 476 00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:24,530 - Why? - Uh, I don't know. 477 00:22:24,730 --> 00:22:27,580 I mean, this weekend hasn't exactly gone to plan. 478 00:22:27,780 --> 00:22:30,450 You and I have been arguing more in the last few months than we did 479 00:22:30,650 --> 00:22:32,120 our first four years together. 480 00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:34,080 [inhales deeply] I don't know. I guess I thought 481 00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:35,850 weddings were supposed to be fun. 482 00:22:37,060 --> 00:22:38,460 Oh. Okay. 483 00:22:38,660 --> 00:22:41,260 Well, I'm sorry I didn't make your wedding more fun for you. 484 00:22:41,460 --> 00:22:43,480 Well, no. That's... Darcy, that's not what... 485 00:22:45,570 --> 00:22:47,400 And it's not my wedding. It's our wedding. 486 00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:49,360 Hardly. 487 00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:51,410 [sighs] Yeah, Tom. 488 00:22:51,990 --> 00:22:54,770 You got so fixated on the wedding that you... 489 00:22:54,970 --> 00:22:56,480 you turned into a different person. 490 00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:58,620 I'm sorry. I just wanted everything to be perfect. 491 00:22:59,420 --> 00:23:00,900 Why is that so important to you? 492 00:23:01,100 --> 00:23:02,530 Why isn't it important to you? 493 00:23:02,730 --> 00:23:04,000 It's like you don't even care about the wedding. 494 00:23:04,590 --> 00:23:06,490 Well, I... Of course I care. 495 00:23:06,690 --> 00:23:07,700 Oh, yeah? 496 00:23:07,900 --> 00:23:10,010 You're the one that insisted that we pay for this wedding. 497 00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:11,700 Yet I'm the one that's bargaining 498 00:23:11,900 --> 00:23:13,910 with all the vendors and DIY-ing everything, 499 00:23:14,110 --> 00:23:16,620 and all you're saying is, "I don't know. It looks good," 500 00:23:16,820 --> 00:23:18,670 you know, "Sounds good, Tom. Whatever you want." 501 00:23:18,870 --> 00:23:22,210 I told you that I did not want a big traditional wedding. 502 00:23:22,410 --> 00:23:25,630 Okay? I'm not some blushing bride. I'm a grown woman. 503 00:23:25,830 --> 00:23:27,970 I don't want my daddy walking me down the aisle. 504 00:23:28,170 --> 00:23:30,060 I don't need a big princess dress, 505 00:23:30,250 --> 00:23:33,310 and I certainly don't need a wedding registry. 506 00:23:33,510 --> 00:23:36,020 I have my things already. I like my things. 507 00:23:36,220 --> 00:23:37,730 I wanted a Roomba. 508 00:23:37,930 --> 00:23:39,830 [guests murmuring] 509 00:23:41,540 --> 00:23:42,780 Well, she's not up in the lobby. 510 00:23:42,980 --> 00:23:44,150 I can't get through on my phone. 511 00:23:44,350 --> 00:23:46,650 Oh, my God. They've fallen in a ditch. 512 00:23:46,850 --> 00:23:48,870 What? And how do you know that? 513 00:23:49,060 --> 00:23:49,950 [Carol] I don't know. 514 00:23:50,150 --> 00:23:52,290 I just have a sixth sense about these things. 515 00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:53,620 Ace and I will take a look around. 516 00:23:53,820 --> 00:23:55,580 Don't worry. We will find them. 517 00:23:55,780 --> 00:23:57,000 [Carol breathing heavily] 518 00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:59,140 - [screams] Check all ditches! - [Larry] God. 519 00:24:01,100 --> 00:24:05,170 I wanted it to just be you and me in the middle of the ocean. 520 00:24:05,370 --> 00:24:07,760 And for the 400th time, that would've killed my mother. 521 00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:09,470 Ugh. Right. 522 00:24:09,670 --> 00:24:11,140 And that's why I'm in your mother's dress 523 00:24:11,340 --> 00:24:13,870 with an extra 10 pounds of hair on my head. 524 00:24:14,700 --> 00:24:18,870 But the truth is, you have not listened to one thing I wanted since you proposed. 525 00:24:19,580 --> 00:24:22,520 Okay, well, Darcy, I'm listening. Enlighten me. 526 00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:25,080 What is it? What is it that you want? 527 00:24:25,500 --> 00:24:28,820 Tom, we've... We talked about this. 528 00:24:29,020 --> 00:24:33,280 I told you on our very first date, I didn't want a big wedding. 529 00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:34,410 Well, I thought you changed 530 00:24:34,610 --> 00:24:36,010 - your mind about that. - [sighs] 531 00:24:36,510 --> 00:24:38,350 Why did you even agree to do it then? 532 00:24:40,100 --> 00:24:42,840 Oh, I... I don't... I don't know! 533 00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:44,600 Okay? Because... 534 00:24:45,610 --> 00:24:48,380 Because I love you. Because I... I w... 535 00:24:48,580 --> 00:24:50,570 I wanted you to be happy. 536 00:24:51,030 --> 00:24:52,720 [pirate leader] Go! Come on, move! 537 00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:54,890 Everybody, move! Come on! 538 00:24:55,090 --> 00:24:56,520 - [people screaming] - Move along. 539 00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:59,200 Go outside, go outside right now. Come on. Come on. 540 00:25:00,410 --> 00:25:02,040 If you don't wanna go through with this, 541 00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:04,210 it's not too late. 542 00:25:04,830 --> 00:25:05,830 What? 543 00:25:08,420 --> 00:25:14,280 No. We brought everybody that we loved down to the Philippines for our wedding. 544 00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:16,370 I'm in this dress! We're doin' this! 545 00:25:16,570 --> 00:25:18,510 Oh, that was beautiful. Are those your vows? 546 00:25:21,430 --> 00:25:22,480 Oh, my God. 547 00:25:23,890 --> 00:25:26,250 You convinced yourself that I wanted to call off the wedding, 548 00:25:26,450 --> 00:25:27,590 and now you're making it happen. 549 00:25:27,790 --> 00:25:30,340 Oh, there you go. Lawyering yourself out of any real responsibility. 550 00:25:30,540 --> 00:25:31,470 [Darcy gasps] 551 00:25:31,670 --> 00:25:33,400 [intense music playing] 552 00:25:35,360 --> 00:25:37,490 [groans] You cut me with your ring! 553 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,370 - Won't happen again. - [grunts] 554 00:25:47,630 --> 00:25:49,650 [intense music resumes] 555 00:25:49,850 --> 00:25:50,920 Great! 556 00:25:51,670 --> 00:25:53,260 [shouting] Why don't you go be with Sean? 557 00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:56,160 Maybe you guys could go bang some grandpas! 558 00:25:56,360 --> 00:25:58,760 [intense music continues] 559 00:26:05,770 --> 00:26:08,300 I don't know why. I have a bad feeling about this. 560 00:26:08,500 --> 00:26:09,880 [Larry] It's gonna be fine, honey. 561 00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:11,090 - [screams] - [all gasp] 562 00:26:11,290 --> 00:26:12,760 I think you might be overreacting. 563 00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:14,300 [screams] 564 00:26:14,500 --> 00:26:16,180 - [guests screaming] - [indistinct shouting] 565 00:26:16,380 --> 00:26:19,350 [pirate leader] Hold still! Get down, get down, get down! 566 00:26:19,550 --> 00:26:20,570 [all screaming] 567 00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:24,540 [whimpers] 568 00:26:25,290 --> 00:26:26,440 - [pirate 1] No running! - [gunshot] 569 00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:28,540 - [pirate leader] Everyone! - [pirate 1] Get down. 570 00:26:29,130 --> 00:26:31,690 [pirate leader] To the pool! Now! 571 00:26:31,890 --> 00:26:33,070 First rows, go! 572 00:26:33,270 --> 00:26:34,490 - Go, go, go! - [Carol exclaims] 573 00:26:34,690 --> 00:26:36,700 [pirate 1] Everyone, this way! This way! 574 00:26:36,900 --> 00:26:39,640 Come on! Come on! One line! Let's go! 575 00:26:42,100 --> 00:26:43,890 - [gunshots] - [indistinct shouting] 576 00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:49,520 [grunts] 577 00:26:52,980 --> 00:26:54,340 [frightened clamoring] 578 00:26:54,540 --> 00:26:55,780 Let's go! 579 00:26:57,650 --> 00:26:58,950 Darcy. 580 00:27:01,740 --> 00:27:03,810 - [pirate leader] Guys, go! - [pirate 1] Go, go, up there. 581 00:27:04,010 --> 00:27:06,230 [pirate leader] Up there! Up there! Go! Go to the end. 582 00:27:06,430 --> 00:27:07,980 - Go, go! - Everybody, walk! 583 00:27:08,180 --> 00:27:10,360 - [pirate leader] Keep going. - [pirate 1] Let's go. 584 00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:11,610 [pirate leader] Go! 585 00:27:11,810 --> 00:27:12,900 [guests screaming] 586 00:27:13,100 --> 00:27:14,450 [pirate leader] Keep moving! There you go. 587 00:27:14,650 --> 00:27:16,030 [pirate 2] Turn. Turn. Go! 588 00:27:16,230 --> 00:27:17,320 - [pirate leader] Line up. - [pirate 2] Keep moving. 589 00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:18,530 Line up, go! 590 00:27:18,730 --> 00:27:19,700 - [pirate leader] Now! - [Carol] No. 591 00:27:19,900 --> 00:27:21,830 [pirate leader] And into the pool. 592 00:27:22,030 --> 00:27:23,290 Now. Go! 593 00:27:23,490 --> 00:27:26,370 Go in. Faster, faster, faster. 594 00:27:26,570 --> 00:27:28,500 - [pirate 2] Get in the water. - [pirate leader] Let's go faster. 595 00:27:28,700 --> 00:27:31,250 - [pirate 2] Drop the phone. - But my phone will get ruined. 596 00:27:31,450 --> 00:27:32,590 I think that's the point, sweetie. Just drop it. 597 00:27:32,790 --> 00:27:33,800 Yeah, but I haven't backed it up in a while. 598 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:35,520 - [Renata] Drop it! - Okay. Okay. 599 00:27:36,730 --> 00:27:38,430 [pirate leader] No need to be scared. 600 00:27:38,630 --> 00:27:41,990 As long as everybody follows directions, no one gets hurt. 601 00:27:42,870 --> 00:27:44,990 Raise your hand when you hear your name. 602 00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:47,450 Robert Rivera. 603 00:27:54,130 --> 00:27:56,340 Robert! Robert. 604 00:27:57,130 --> 00:27:58,420 They're calling you. 605 00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:01,260 Thanks a lot, Carol. 606 00:28:05,140 --> 00:28:07,310 - [pirate leader] Larry Fowler. - Present. 607 00:28:10,350 --> 00:28:11,880 I... I'm Carol, his wife. 608 00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:13,520 Just so you don't have to make two trips. 609 00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:16,690 Wait, wait. I'd like it in the center. 610 00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:21,450 Sean Hawkins. 611 00:28:22,030 --> 00:28:25,410 If you hurt anyone in this pool, you're gonna have to answer to me. 612 00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:28,980 [pirate leader] Is this the hero of the group? 613 00:28:29,180 --> 00:28:30,700 [all] Yes. 614 00:28:31,410 --> 00:28:33,070 No. Oh, my God. 615 00:28:33,270 --> 00:28:34,500 [women whimper] 616 00:28:35,250 --> 00:28:36,960 There is always one. 617 00:28:38,630 --> 00:28:39,630 All right. 618 00:28:50,810 --> 00:28:52,560 [pirate leader] Where is bride and groom? 619 00:28:53,140 --> 00:28:55,510 [pirate 1] She's there. Isn't she the bride? 620 00:28:55,700 --> 00:28:56,590 Oh. No. 621 00:28:56,790 --> 00:29:00,970 Amanda thought it was appropriate to wear white to a wedding. 622 00:29:01,170 --> 00:29:02,390 I didn't know that was a rule. 623 00:29:02,590 --> 00:29:03,810 Yes, you did. 624 00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,810 - You're a gaslighter. - [Jeannie] Yeah. 625 00:29:06,010 --> 00:29:07,530 You see, this is a problem. 626 00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:10,370 They could call police. And if police come, 627 00:29:11,330 --> 00:29:12,480 we kill everyone. 628 00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:14,070 - [guests gasping] - [woman] Oh, my God. 629 00:29:14,260 --> 00:29:17,240 Okay, um, I... I saw Tom headed towards the nature walk before the ceremony, 630 00:29:17,430 --> 00:29:20,490 and I noticed that his frequency levels were dangerously low. 631 00:29:20,690 --> 00:29:22,160 I think he's getting cold feet. 632 00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:23,530 Tommy has cold feet? 633 00:29:23,730 --> 00:29:26,160 Is this really what we should be worrying about at this point? 634 00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:29,510 I'm a mother. I can worry about a lot of things at the same time. 635 00:29:30,260 --> 00:29:31,460 Like Larry's mole. 636 00:29:31,660 --> 00:29:32,750 [Larry] Oh, it's fine, sweetie. 637 00:29:32,950 --> 00:29:34,380 - [Carol] It's getting bigger. - [pirate leader] Spread out. 638 00:29:34,580 --> 00:29:36,480 - [guns cocking] - Look for them. 639 00:29:42,110 --> 00:29:44,640 Hey, uh, I... I... I texted you this morning 640 00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:46,450 and I didn't hear anything back. 641 00:29:47,870 --> 00:29:49,410 Are you being serious right now? 642 00:29:49,950 --> 00:29:51,560 No. No. 643 00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:53,310 [panting] 644 00:29:53,510 --> 00:29:54,520 [Darcy screams] 645 00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:56,980 [gasps] Darcy! 646 00:29:57,180 --> 00:30:00,090 - [Darcy grunting] - [Tom] Darcy! Hey! 647 00:30:01,630 --> 00:30:03,450 - [groans] - No, no, no, no. Darcy. 648 00:30:03,650 --> 00:30:05,990 - Darcy, I'm coming in. - Fuck off, Tom! 649 00:30:06,190 --> 00:30:07,260 Oh, thank God. 650 00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:10,850 Listen, I know you're mad at me right now, but you have to let me in. 651 00:30:11,180 --> 00:30:13,170 Why would I be mad? I'm awesome. 652 00:30:13,370 --> 00:30:15,420 I'm on a tropical island, I'm having a liquid brunch, 653 00:30:15,620 --> 00:30:17,690 and I don't have to answer to anybody! 654 00:30:18,150 --> 00:30:20,050 [indistinct radio chatter] 655 00:30:20,250 --> 00:30:23,110 [gasps] Oh, my God, this is not happening. 656 00:30:23,530 --> 00:30:25,470 Oh, it is happening, buddy. 657 00:30:25,670 --> 00:30:29,140 Okay? And once I get this hair condo off my head, 658 00:30:29,340 --> 00:30:32,560 I'm gonna march down to that beach and tell everybody how you blew this up! 659 00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:33,770 Shh... shh! 660 00:30:33,970 --> 00:30:36,080 Are you seriously shushing me right now? 661 00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:38,290 What the fuck? 662 00:30:38,670 --> 00:30:39,670 [Tom grunts] 663 00:30:42,670 --> 00:30:43,670 Is that blood? 664 00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:45,990 There's no time for a blood freak-out right now. 665 00:30:46,190 --> 00:30:47,990 - Don't tell me... - [shushes] 666 00:30:48,190 --> 00:30:50,790 - [muffled groaning] - There are pirates outside, 667 00:30:50,990 --> 00:30:52,540 and they took everybody hostage. 668 00:30:52,740 --> 00:30:53,680 [muffled] What? 669 00:30:55,140 --> 00:30:56,560 [indistinct radio chatter] 670 00:31:06,110 --> 00:31:07,610 - [gunshots] - [gasps] 671 00:31:08,780 --> 00:31:09,780 [grunts] 672 00:31:10,490 --> 00:31:13,450 - We have to get help. - [Tom] No, no. No. No. 673 00:31:14,830 --> 00:31:16,900 - The phone is dead. - Oh, the Wi-Fi too. 674 00:31:17,100 --> 00:31:19,150 Marge said the cell service is better on the north side. 675 00:31:19,350 --> 00:31:21,070 Why did you pick an island with no cell service? 676 00:31:21,270 --> 00:31:22,940 Because I wanted people to be present and in the moment. 677 00:31:23,140 --> 00:31:24,880 - [gunshot] - [gasps] Jeez! 678 00:31:25,630 --> 00:31:28,370 I can't breathe. [gasps] I can't breathe! 679 00:31:28,570 --> 00:31:29,330 I know. Me neither. 680 00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:32,200 No. I... I really can't breathe. It's the shapewear. 681 00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:33,760 Please help me get out of this dress now. 682 00:31:35,180 --> 00:31:36,290 Now! 683 00:31:36,490 --> 00:31:37,500 Would you relax? 684 00:31:37,700 --> 00:31:39,040 [whispers] What did you just say to me? 685 00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:40,380 I said everything's gonna be okay. 686 00:31:40,580 --> 00:31:41,880 Dress is like a riddle. 687 00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:43,420 - [gunshots] - Oh! 688 00:31:43,620 --> 00:31:45,570 God, I'm gonna die in this dress! 689 00:31:46,980 --> 00:31:48,930 Oh, door latches from the inside. 690 00:31:49,130 --> 00:31:51,060 He's gonna know we're in here. [grunting] 691 00:31:51,250 --> 00:31:54,890 He's also gonna know we're in here when he comes in here and we're in here. 692 00:31:55,090 --> 00:31:56,310 He'll think we're in the shower. 693 00:31:56,510 --> 00:31:57,900 What... What? 694 00:31:58,100 --> 00:32:00,440 And come back at a better time? Leave a note? 695 00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:02,320 - [shower running] - All right. 696 00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:04,820 Okay, h... here's the plan. He comes in, he's gonna think we're in the shower, 697 00:32:05,020 --> 00:32:06,530 then I jump out and I trap him in the net. 698 00:32:06,730 --> 00:32:08,030 Oh, my God, that's an amazing plan. 699 00:32:08,230 --> 00:32:09,160 - Yes! - No! 700 00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:10,490 You're gonna throw a net over a pirate? 701 00:32:10,690 --> 00:32:11,740 Have you ever tried to get out of a net? 702 00:32:11,940 --> 00:32:13,080 It's very hard to get out of a net. 703 00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:14,790 Okay. How about... 704 00:32:14,990 --> 00:32:16,910 How about this? I spray him in the eyes. 705 00:32:17,110 --> 00:32:19,670 How is hairspray in the eyes better than a net over his head? 706 00:32:19,870 --> 00:32:21,880 Wait! Yes, that's actually... 707 00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:24,050 That's actually... You spray that. 708 00:32:24,250 --> 00:32:26,010 I'll light the match. It'll be like a flamethrower. 709 00:32:26,210 --> 00:32:27,340 - I mean, it won't work! - Why? 710 00:32:27,540 --> 00:32:28,970 - Too many steps. - It's two steps. 711 00:32:29,170 --> 00:32:31,720 It's two steps. Flamethrower, net. 712 00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:35,020 I pop out and I put the net over his head. I'll surprise him. 713 00:32:35,220 --> 00:32:37,230 No, Tom, because bullets shoot through nets! 714 00:32:37,430 --> 00:32:38,980 - Technically, yeah. - Technically? 715 00:32:39,180 --> 00:32:40,520 Technically, he won't be able to shoot straight 716 00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:42,900 because he'll be all fuckin' wrapped up in the net. 717 00:32:43,100 --> 00:32:45,400 I swear to God, if you say "net" one more time... 718 00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:46,880 - [gunshots] - [gasps] 719 00:32:48,420 --> 00:32:50,510 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 720 00:32:52,300 --> 00:32:53,380 [gunshot] 721 00:32:57,810 --> 00:32:59,720 [whispering] Psst. Flamethrower. 722 00:33:03,850 --> 00:33:05,690 [suspenseful music playing] 723 00:33:08,980 --> 00:33:10,650 [shower running] 724 00:33:15,660 --> 00:33:17,060 [whispering] I'm gonna fuck him up. 725 00:33:17,260 --> 00:33:18,270 I'm gonna fuck him up. 726 00:33:18,470 --> 00:33:19,910 [mouthing] 727 00:33:35,970 --> 00:33:37,120 [turns off shower] 728 00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:38,760 [screaming] 729 00:33:39,930 --> 00:33:42,020 [all screaming] 730 00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:45,840 [Darcy] Fuck! 731 00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:47,270 [pirate 2 panting] 732 00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:49,550 - [grunts] - [pirate 2] Ow! 733 00:33:49,750 --> 00:33:51,300 - Never mind! Never mind. - Why did you do that? 734 00:33:51,500 --> 00:33:54,110 - Never mind! - [both scream and grunt] 735 00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:59,480 - [groaning] You were right. - [panting] 736 00:33:59,670 --> 00:34:01,620 That hairspray was so much worse than the net. 737 00:34:02,790 --> 00:34:03,790 [Tom grunts] 738 00:34:05,660 --> 00:34:06,900 - [Darcy] Ow! - [pirate 2] Get up. 739 00:34:07,100 --> 00:34:08,080 [Darcy] Okay. 740 00:34:08,750 --> 00:34:10,460 [both grunt] 741 00:34:11,500 --> 00:34:12,990 - [Tom] Come on. - [Darcy] Don't strangle me. 742 00:34:13,190 --> 00:34:15,200 - [Tom] Turn your arm. - [pirate 2] I have them alive. 743 00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:16,410 Wait, wait. What? 744 00:34:16,610 --> 00:34:19,180 [pirate 2 on radio] Bungalow 15. Pick me up. 745 00:34:20,510 --> 00:34:21,810 [pirate leader] Go collect them. 746 00:34:22,850 --> 00:34:25,020 And then we can begin. 747 00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:27,310 [both grunting] 748 00:34:33,690 --> 00:34:34,990 You doing okay, Jamie? 749 00:34:37,240 --> 00:34:39,430 My stomach feels like it's gonna fall through my asshole. 750 00:34:39,630 --> 00:34:41,370 But otherwise, I'm chill. 751 00:34:42,240 --> 00:34:44,020 Listen, it's normal to feel scared. 752 00:34:44,220 --> 00:34:45,910 But I'm not gonna let anything happen to you 753 00:34:46,500 --> 00:34:48,920 or your family. Promise. 754 00:34:50,420 --> 00:34:51,710 [Jeannie] Hey, Sean? 755 00:34:52,250 --> 00:34:53,700 I am also feeling scared. 756 00:34:53,900 --> 00:34:55,700 Like the most scared I've ever been in my whole life. 757 00:34:55,900 --> 00:34:58,090 It's like I just watched The Ring, you know? 758 00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:01,830 [Harriett] Robbie, baby, I want you to practice the breathing exercise 759 00:35:02,030 --> 00:35:04,000 that we learned at Esalen, okay? 760 00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:06,850 I'm gonna hit a pressure point. Ready? And... 761 00:35:07,350 --> 00:35:08,290 [joints pop] 762 00:35:08,490 --> 00:35:10,400 - Breathe. Breathe. - [breathing sharply] 763 00:35:11,230 --> 00:35:12,210 From the diaphragm. 764 00:35:12,410 --> 00:35:14,340 - I think I'm gonna throw up now. - It's okay. You're doing fine. 765 00:35:14,540 --> 00:35:18,220 If he keeps making that noise, just go ahead and shoot me. 766 00:35:18,420 --> 00:35:19,640 - [Robert pants] - [laughing] 767 00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:22,030 [pirate leader] The happy couple will be here in a second. 768 00:35:22,780 --> 00:35:24,310 So let's get to business. 769 00:35:24,510 --> 00:35:26,370 Where is the father of the bride? 770 00:35:29,710 --> 00:35:32,330 Robert. He's calling ya again. 771 00:35:34,420 --> 00:35:37,260 Thanks, Carol. [grunts] 772 00:35:37,670 --> 00:35:38,840 Okay, what do you want? 773 00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:44,210 [pirate leader] Well, we call my colleague on the satellite phone, 774 00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:47,420 and you transfer $45 million to a bank account. 775 00:35:47,620 --> 00:35:49,000 [Harriett] What? What? 776 00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:50,640 I don't have that kind of money. 777 00:35:51,060 --> 00:35:55,340 [pirate leader] We googled you. Net worth is $60 million. 778 00:35:55,540 --> 00:35:58,490 I'm not giving you anything until I find out if my daughter's safe. 779 00:35:59,530 --> 00:36:01,740 - And your son-in-law. - Yeah, him too. 780 00:36:02,450 --> 00:36:03,470 Okay. 781 00:36:03,670 --> 00:36:06,240 I can wait two minutes to take all your money. 782 00:36:06,990 --> 00:36:08,000 This way. 783 00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:11,980 You want some pineapple candies? 784 00:36:12,180 --> 00:36:15,440 They're from that weird welcome bag we got, but I found them in my pocket. 785 00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:19,090 No, I don't want loose, wet candy from your gross pockets. 786 00:36:21,630 --> 00:36:22,760 Okay. 787 00:36:23,550 --> 00:36:24,800 Suit yourself. 788 00:36:30,980 --> 00:36:32,210 Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay. 789 00:36:32,410 --> 00:36:33,300 - I'm starving. - No. 790 00:36:33,500 --> 00:36:34,650 [Jamie gasps] 791 00:36:36,690 --> 00:36:38,050 - You're an asshole. - Hmm. 792 00:36:38,250 --> 00:36:40,090 God, I can't believe that I had sex with you. 793 00:36:40,290 --> 00:36:42,450 Honestly, I was pretty surprised by that too. 794 00:36:42,740 --> 00:36:45,020 [Darcy] My parents, they got divorced when I was in high school, 795 00:36:45,220 --> 00:36:47,870 and my first engagement was a disaster. 796 00:36:48,450 --> 00:36:50,770 What about you? Are you dating anyone? 797 00:36:50,970 --> 00:36:52,190 Have you always wanted to be a pirate? 798 00:36:52,390 --> 00:36:54,370 No more talk, lady. 799 00:37:00,210 --> 00:37:01,740 Excuse me, sirs. 800 00:37:01,940 --> 00:37:03,080 Darcy, they're gonna hurt you. 801 00:37:03,270 --> 00:37:05,790 I just can't help but notice that you guys smell like cigarettes, 802 00:37:05,990 --> 00:37:08,290 and I am loving it. 803 00:37:08,490 --> 00:37:10,790 Is there any way I could bum a cigarette? 804 00:37:10,990 --> 00:37:12,330 I mean, I think it might help with the... 805 00:37:12,530 --> 00:37:14,040 the panic and dread I'm experiencing right now. 806 00:37:14,240 --> 00:37:15,340 Since when do you smoke cigarettes? 807 00:37:15,540 --> 00:37:16,610 It's... 808 00:37:17,770 --> 00:37:19,550 I just... You don't even have to untie my hands. 809 00:37:19,750 --> 00:37:21,930 I mean, I... I can smoke with no hands. 810 00:37:22,130 --> 00:37:24,350 You could just put it right in my mouth. 811 00:37:24,550 --> 00:37:25,560 [pirate 2] Give her a cigarette. 812 00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:27,310 - Please. - Maybe it will shut her up. 813 00:37:27,510 --> 00:37:29,240 [Darcy] Yes, yes, yes, it will shut me up. 814 00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:32,620 Oh, thank you. 815 00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:36,580 You guys are the... 816 00:37:38,170 --> 00:37:39,110 best. 817 00:37:39,310 --> 00:37:40,780 - [searing] - [pirate 2] What? 818 00:37:40,980 --> 00:37:42,970 - Fire! - [Darcy screaming] 819 00:37:44,630 --> 00:37:45,990 [Tom] Oh, my God! 820 00:37:46,190 --> 00:37:49,080 - [gasps] - Oh, my God! Flamethrower! 821 00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:50,290 - [laughing] - Oh, my... 822 00:37:50,490 --> 00:37:53,230 See, that's why you only have a plan with one step! 823 00:37:54,940 --> 00:37:55,960 [Tom gasps] 824 00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:57,340 - No! - Oh, my God! 825 00:37:57,540 --> 00:37:59,650 - Get the brakes! - I'm trying! I'm trying! 826 00:38:00,980 --> 00:38:02,550 [Darcy screams] 827 00:38:02,750 --> 00:38:04,700 [both grunting] 828 00:38:07,530 --> 00:38:08,640 - [shrieks] - Cliff! 829 00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:10,060 - Cliff! Cliff! - [Darcy] I see it! 830 00:38:10,260 --> 00:38:11,480 Get it into park! 831 00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:13,540 [Tom] I'm trying! [grunting] 832 00:38:14,450 --> 00:38:16,070 - [Darcy] Oh, God! Oh, my God! - [Tom] God! 833 00:38:16,260 --> 00:38:17,580 [grunting] 834 00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:20,210 Oh, slide out! 835 00:38:20,790 --> 00:38:23,280 [both grunting and gasping] 836 00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:24,990 [both laugh] 837 00:38:25,190 --> 00:38:26,740 - [thud] - [both gasp] 838 00:38:26,940 --> 00:38:29,330 [Darcy] My dress! My dress, Tom! 839 00:38:29,530 --> 00:38:30,700 Tom, don't let go! 840 00:38:30,900 --> 00:38:32,850 - Don't you let go! - [gasping] 841 00:38:33,180 --> 00:38:35,310 [Darcy] I'm stuck! I'm stuck! 842 00:38:36,060 --> 00:38:37,750 [screaming] 843 00:38:37,950 --> 00:38:39,170 - [Tom strains] - [dress rips] 844 00:38:39,370 --> 00:38:40,560 [Darcy grunts] 845 00:38:48,030 --> 00:38:49,870 [both panting] 846 00:38:52,030 --> 00:38:53,490 [gunshots] 847 00:38:55,500 --> 00:38:57,230 - Go! - [whimpering] 848 00:38:57,430 --> 00:38:59,420 Go. Go, go, go. Go, go, go. 849 00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:02,740 - [gunshots continue] - [Darcy screams] 850 00:39:02,940 --> 00:39:04,950 [Tom panting] 851 00:39:05,150 --> 00:39:07,030 Quick, do something baseball-y. 852 00:39:07,230 --> 00:39:09,220 What? This is nothing like baseball! 853 00:39:10,180 --> 00:39:11,970 - Down! Down, down! - [Darcy] Fuck! 854 00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:13,810 [gun clicks] 855 00:39:14,100 --> 00:39:16,790 - He's out of ammo. - Right. 856 00:39:16,990 --> 00:39:18,350 - Run at him! - What? 857 00:39:19,690 --> 00:39:21,170 - Go. Believe me, just go! - No, no, no! 858 00:39:21,370 --> 00:39:22,360 [all grunt] 859 00:39:23,230 --> 00:39:24,070 [gasps] 860 00:39:26,030 --> 00:39:27,940 - Grenade! - He has a grenade! 861 00:39:28,860 --> 00:39:29,810 Sir! 862 00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:31,350 Sir, sir. 863 00:39:31,550 --> 00:39:33,020 Give me the grenade, sir. Sir! 864 00:39:33,220 --> 00:39:35,980 Sir, give me the grenade. Sir. Sir! 865 00:39:36,180 --> 00:39:38,000 [all grunting] 866 00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:42,040 - [Tom groans] - [Darcy] Ah-ow. Ow! 867 00:39:44,170 --> 00:39:46,920 - [bones crack] - [both panting] 868 00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:54,540 [whispering] Oh, my God. 869 00:39:54,740 --> 00:39:56,720 - Is he dead? - I don't know. 870 00:39:57,970 --> 00:39:59,430 [shouts] Are you dead? 871 00:40:07,730 --> 00:40:10,300 Oh, yeah, he's very not alive. 872 00:40:10,500 --> 00:40:12,390 Not alive. Oh, boy. 873 00:40:12,590 --> 00:40:14,390 - Yes! You killed him! - Yeah! 874 00:40:14,590 --> 00:40:16,640 Yeah, I killed him! I killed him! 875 00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:18,150 [both laughing] 876 00:40:18,340 --> 00:40:20,400 Oh, my God, I killed a man. 877 00:40:20,600 --> 00:40:23,190 I killed a man. No. 878 00:40:23,390 --> 00:40:25,400 - [gasping] - How do you feel? 879 00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:27,610 I feel... Oh, my God. I feel horrible. 880 00:40:27,810 --> 00:40:30,120 - Yeah. - But excited. 881 00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:32,280 You know, like, happy. Like, I'm gonna shit my pants. 882 00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:33,370 - Yeah. - You know, like, 883 00:40:33,570 --> 00:40:34,910 but in a good way. You know? 884 00:40:35,110 --> 00:40:36,220 [Darcy] Huh. 885 00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:37,760 Oh, my God. 886 00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:40,080 I'm gonna go to prison. 887 00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:41,250 - I'm gonna... - No! 888 00:40:41,450 --> 00:40:43,000 - Yeah. - No. It was... It... 889 00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:44,920 It was self-defense. He was trying to kill us. 890 00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:46,400 Any court would... 891 00:40:47,230 --> 00:40:48,360 Any court... 892 00:40:49,030 --> 00:40:49,970 Are you okay? 893 00:40:50,170 --> 00:40:52,760 Yeah. I'm fine. I'm fine. 894 00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:55,600 It's just, you know, I looked over there and I saw all the blood. 895 00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:57,350 And, you know, I think I saw some brain. 896 00:40:57,550 --> 00:40:59,140 - Was that brain stuff? - Yeah. Yeah. 897 00:40:59,340 --> 00:41:02,900 And so I'm just gonna look up at the sky and... so I don't pass out. 898 00:41:03,100 --> 00:41:04,480 Okay. Well, you know what? Maybe we should... 899 00:41:04,680 --> 00:41:05,980 - [huffing] - Let's just step away 900 00:41:06,180 --> 00:41:07,070 from the scene. 901 00:41:07,270 --> 00:41:08,200 - And don't look down. - Okay. 902 00:41:08,390 --> 00:41:09,340 - Okay. - Just don't look down. 903 00:41:10,670 --> 00:41:12,370 [pirate leader] They should be here by now. 904 00:41:12,570 --> 00:41:13,450 Head up the road. 905 00:41:13,650 --> 00:41:14,930 - Check on them. - [pirate 3] Yeah. 906 00:41:18,390 --> 00:41:20,460 [breathing through teeth] 907 00:41:20,660 --> 00:41:23,790 All right. We need to get off this island. 908 00:41:23,990 --> 00:41:26,920 Well, it might help that I got this grenade for us. 909 00:41:27,120 --> 00:41:29,380 I mean, he was trying to blow us up, but I got it. 910 00:41:29,580 --> 00:41:31,740 I got it. Another point for Darcy. 911 00:41:32,650 --> 00:41:34,140 [blows sharply] 912 00:41:34,340 --> 00:41:35,850 Okay, Darcy. 913 00:41:36,050 --> 00:41:36,990 Uh... 914 00:41:37,820 --> 00:41:39,160 Do you remember 915 00:41:39,780 --> 00:41:41,600 that time that we were driving down the highway 916 00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:44,730 and you very calmly told me to pull over? 917 00:41:44,930 --> 00:41:46,400 And you waited until we pulled over 918 00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:49,250 to tell me that there was a giant spider on my head? 919 00:41:49,790 --> 00:41:51,110 Yeah. Yeah. 920 00:41:51,310 --> 00:41:52,510 Yeah, well, that was very smart. 921 00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:57,410 Because if you had told me before, I might have panicked and crashed the car. 922 00:41:57,610 --> 00:41:58,700 Wait. Is there a spider on my head? 923 00:41:58,900 --> 00:42:00,210 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 924 00:42:00,410 --> 00:42:02,310 No, no. I tell you this story because... 925 00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:04,590 I don't want you to panic 926 00:42:04,780 --> 00:42:06,650 when I tell you what I'm about to tell you. 927 00:42:07,650 --> 00:42:10,360 Your grenade doesn't have a pin. 928 00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:15,970 - What does that mean? - Well... 929 00:42:16,170 --> 00:42:17,850 Well, is it... is it... is it gonna explode? 930 00:42:18,050 --> 00:42:19,770 No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. 931 00:42:19,970 --> 00:42:22,040 Hold it exactly how you're holding it. Good. Good. 932 00:42:22,330 --> 00:42:24,270 - Okay. Okay. - Mm-hmm. 933 00:42:24,470 --> 00:42:26,400 That pin holds the handle on. 934 00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:29,480 But when you let go of the grenade, the handle pops off, 935 00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:32,500 which lights the fuse, and the whole thing goes... 936 00:42:33,460 --> 00:42:34,450 boom. 937 00:42:34,650 --> 00:42:36,340 [whispers] How do you know so much about grenades? 938 00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:38,080 Video games. 939 00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:39,950 So what should I do? Should... Should I throw it? 940 00:42:40,150 --> 00:42:43,710 Well, my concern is that you won't be able to throw it far enough to not blow us up. 941 00:42:43,910 --> 00:42:45,810 - No offense. - God. 942 00:42:46,180 --> 00:42:48,460 So, what, I just... I just hold this live grenade? 943 00:42:48,660 --> 00:42:50,590 This grenade is just part of my life now? 944 00:42:50,790 --> 00:42:52,150 Yeah, for now, yeah, yeah, yeah. 945 00:42:56,070 --> 00:42:57,490 Okay, here's the plan. 946 00:42:58,740 --> 00:42:59,810 We're gonna get a knife. 947 00:43:00,010 --> 00:43:00,850 - Okay. All right. - I'm gonna cut 948 00:43:01,050 --> 00:43:03,200 through these ties, we're gonna get rid of that grenade, 949 00:43:03,910 --> 00:43:05,190 and then we're gonna head down to the docks. 950 00:43:05,390 --> 00:43:07,020 We're gonna bum-rush the pirate guarding it, 951 00:43:07,220 --> 00:43:09,620 hop in a boat, and head to the next island for help. 952 00:43:10,210 --> 00:43:13,400 - Okay? - Tom, that plan... 953 00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:16,010 [sighs] Has too many steps. I see that now. 954 00:43:16,670 --> 00:43:18,720 [sighs] Now, you got a simpler one? 955 00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:21,330 - Yes. Yes. - What? 956 00:43:21,530 --> 00:43:23,290 - Yes. Okay. - What are you doing? 957 00:43:23,490 --> 00:43:25,000 Get down here. Found it. 958 00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:26,540 - Found it. Yes. - What are we doing? 959 00:43:26,740 --> 00:43:28,380 - Right here. - What are we doing? 960 00:43:28,580 --> 00:43:30,650 - [laughs triumphantly] - Oh. 961 00:43:31,310 --> 00:43:32,300 Oh. 962 00:43:32,500 --> 00:43:34,840 Find cell service. Call for help. 963 00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:36,340 When did you put that in your underwear? 964 00:43:36,540 --> 00:43:37,680 [chuckles] 965 00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:39,510 Right before the pirates took us out of the cabana. 966 00:43:39,710 --> 00:43:41,430 Because I'm a sneaky little bitch. 967 00:43:41,630 --> 00:43:44,030 Oh, you are a sneaky little bitch. 968 00:43:44,740 --> 00:43:45,980 - Thank you. - [sighs] 969 00:43:46,180 --> 00:43:47,560 - Okay. - Let's start walking. 970 00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:49,540 [Darcy] Sneaky. Sneaky little bitch. 971 00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:53,530 You're testing my patience, Robert! 972 00:43:53,730 --> 00:43:54,990 Look, you want my money? I want my daughter. 973 00:43:55,190 --> 00:43:56,660 - It's a simple negotiation. - [pirate leader] Enough! 974 00:43:56,850 --> 00:43:57,740 All right. 975 00:43:57,940 --> 00:43:58,820 [Carol] They're bringing him back. 976 00:43:59,020 --> 00:43:59,950 [pirate leader] Move. 977 00:44:00,150 --> 00:44:02,410 [Sean] Robert. What happened? Are you okay? 978 00:44:02,610 --> 00:44:03,540 They didn't hurt you, did they? 979 00:44:03,740 --> 00:44:06,920 Well, I'm not giving them a dime till I know my daughter's alive. 980 00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:08,850 That didn't go over very well. 981 00:44:09,430 --> 00:44:11,670 I'm afraid they're gonna start shooting the hostages. 982 00:44:11,870 --> 00:44:12,800 [Sean] I don't think they're gonna do that. 983 00:44:13,000 --> 00:44:14,810 [Harriett] Isn't that exactly what pirates do? 984 00:44:22,240 --> 00:44:24,910 Come out, Mr. Pirate Man! 985 00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:33,330 My name 986 00:44:34,460 --> 00:44:37,590 is Carol Elaine Fowler, 987 00:44:38,670 --> 00:44:40,470 and I deserve to live. 988 00:44:41,470 --> 00:44:44,450 Carol, what are you doing? 989 00:44:44,650 --> 00:44:46,040 [whispering] I'm humanizing myself. 990 00:44:46,240 --> 00:44:47,750 [in normal tone] I saw it on Good Morning America. 991 00:44:47,950 --> 00:44:51,520 If you humanize yourself to them, they let you live. 992 00:44:54,190 --> 00:44:57,730 I am a wife. I am a mother. 993 00:44:58,190 --> 00:45:02,850 And I was Milford, Michigan's top realtor in 1998, 994 00:45:03,050 --> 00:45:05,240 and again in 2007. 995 00:45:06,070 --> 00:45:09,370 I dream of going to Ireland. 996 00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:13,710 I was a late bloomer and my teeth didn't come in till I was 14. 997 00:45:14,330 --> 00:45:15,380 Please pick me. 998 00:45:15,750 --> 00:45:17,540 My name is Jeannie Reed. 999 00:45:17,920 --> 00:45:22,220 I am a devoted mother and a slightly less devoted wife. 1000 00:45:22,760 --> 00:45:24,450 This is my first vacation without my kids, 1001 00:45:24,650 --> 00:45:27,160 so I drank a lot of champagne before the ceremony, 1002 00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:28,210 took a couple of weed gummies, 1003 00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:30,620 and the combination is really killing me right now. 1004 00:45:30,820 --> 00:45:34,920 I'm Amanda Walker. I'm a godmother and a woman in tech. 1005 00:45:35,120 --> 00:45:37,020 - I went to-- - I am Renata. 1006 00:45:38,440 --> 00:45:40,110 I'm from Brazil. 1007 00:45:41,110 --> 00:45:43,800 I have beautiful hair. 1008 00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:44,900 Yeah. Very beautiful. 1009 00:45:45,700 --> 00:45:46,820 What else? 1010 00:45:48,450 --> 00:45:49,580 You're a mother. 1011 00:45:50,450 --> 00:45:51,910 I am a mother. 1012 00:45:53,120 --> 00:45:54,440 My name is Ricky Silver. 1013 00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:56,570 A lot of my friends, they're pairing up, 1014 00:45:56,770 --> 00:45:59,570 and they're getting married and drinking loose-leaf tea and shit. 1015 00:45:59,770 --> 00:46:01,710 And I'm still single. But last night... 1016 00:46:03,260 --> 00:46:06,970 I made love to a gorgeous and terrifying woman. 1017 00:46:07,510 --> 00:46:08,800 You think I'm terrifying? 1018 00:46:09,890 --> 00:46:11,640 You scare the shit out of me. 1019 00:46:12,430 --> 00:46:14,430 [light music playing] 1020 00:46:16,640 --> 00:46:18,150 I'm Larry Fowler. 1021 00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:21,440 [music halts] 1022 00:46:23,440 --> 00:46:24,440 Oh... 1023 00:46:24,940 --> 00:46:25,950 Thank you. 1024 00:46:27,490 --> 00:46:28,910 - Oh. - [Jeannie] Oh, easy, Dad. 1025 00:46:29,910 --> 00:46:31,020 - Hold the phone. Yes. - [Tom] How am I gonna... 1026 00:46:31,220 --> 00:46:32,190 - Hold it steady. - [Darcy] Hold it. Hold on. 1027 00:46:32,390 --> 00:46:34,690 I just gotta get this thing out of my head. 1028 00:46:34,890 --> 00:46:37,650 It's driving me crazy. [sighs] 1029 00:46:37,850 --> 00:46:39,830 - Wait. Hold on. Just wait. - What are you... 1030 00:46:41,130 --> 00:46:43,070 What are you... Are you stuffing a loose wad 1031 00:46:43,270 --> 00:46:44,660 of hair in my pocket? 1032 00:46:44,860 --> 00:46:47,280 Yes. A loose wad of very expensive, 1033 00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:49,370 custom-made hair that I would like to keep. 1034 00:46:49,570 --> 00:46:50,890 If we survive. 1035 00:46:51,640 --> 00:46:53,540 [laughing] 1036 00:46:53,740 --> 00:46:55,020 What's so funny? 1037 00:46:57,100 --> 00:46:58,800 - I've just been... - Ow, ow, ow! 1038 00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:01,550 ...questioning everything lately. 1039 00:47:01,750 --> 00:47:04,680 What if the wedding's not perfect? What if your parents never like me? 1040 00:47:04,880 --> 00:47:06,890 What does life look like after baseball? 1041 00:47:07,090 --> 00:47:08,720 But not once did I wonder 1042 00:47:08,920 --> 00:47:13,080 if I'd be walking handcuffed through the jungle with a live grenade. 1043 00:47:13,790 --> 00:47:17,900 Oh. Pirates chasing you wasn't on your vision board? 1044 00:47:18,100 --> 00:47:20,210 Well, you were the only thing on my vision board. 1045 00:47:21,250 --> 00:47:22,240 [Darcy grunts] 1046 00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:23,490 - [Darcy yelps] - [grunts] 1047 00:47:23,690 --> 00:47:24,650 - I got it, I got it, I got it. - Oh! Oh! 1048 00:47:24,850 --> 00:47:26,320 - You got it? You got it? - I got it. I got it. 1049 00:47:26,520 --> 00:47:29,340 - Okay. I got it. - Oh, good. Okay. Oh. [panting] 1050 00:47:31,550 --> 00:47:33,510 - We have a bar. - Oh, good. 1051 00:47:34,220 --> 00:47:35,210 All right. 1052 00:47:35,410 --> 00:47:36,630 - Keep your hands with me. - Okay. 1053 00:47:36,820 --> 00:47:38,380 - Okay. - Call for help. 1054 00:47:38,580 --> 00:47:40,440 Yes. Shit! It's gone. 1055 00:47:41,440 --> 00:47:43,020 - [groans] - [Tom] Well, keep trying. 1056 00:47:47,150 --> 00:47:48,800 - I think, maybe... - We have to go higher. 1057 00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:50,200 - What? - Yes. 1058 00:47:50,740 --> 00:47:53,240 Not... No. No, no, no. Uh, I don't like higher. 1059 00:47:55,700 --> 00:47:57,700 [intense music playing] 1060 00:48:05,040 --> 00:48:06,990 Yeah, I don't... I don't think this thing is built to code. 1061 00:48:07,190 --> 00:48:08,620 - Tom. - Anything? 1062 00:48:08,810 --> 00:48:10,680 No. Come on. 1063 00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:13,580 - Yeah. - We're almost at the top. 1064 00:48:13,780 --> 00:48:16,710 Maybe we should go back down so we're not up so high. 1065 00:48:16,910 --> 00:48:19,670 Don't think about the heights right now. Okay? We're safe. 1066 00:48:19,870 --> 00:48:21,890 Yeah. You use the word "safe" very loosely. 1067 00:48:22,900 --> 00:48:24,020 Oh, my God. 1068 00:48:27,730 --> 00:48:28,680 [cell phone chimes] 1069 00:48:28,880 --> 00:48:30,050 - Full service. Full service. - Oh, yes. 1070 00:48:30,250 --> 00:48:31,390 - I have full service. - [chiming continues] 1071 00:48:31,590 --> 00:48:32,510 [Tom] Whoa, whoa, whoa. Silence it. 1072 00:48:32,710 --> 00:48:34,390 - [whispers] I'm trying. - [Tom shushes] 1073 00:48:34,590 --> 00:48:36,240 - [chiming continues] - [birds chirping] 1074 00:48:39,580 --> 00:48:41,190 Your group chat is out of control. 1075 00:48:41,390 --> 00:48:43,280 I will not apologize for having enthusiastic friends. 1076 00:48:43,470 --> 00:48:44,790 - [gunshots] - [both yelp] 1077 00:48:46,840 --> 00:48:48,030 Oh! You dropped it. 1078 00:48:48,230 --> 00:48:49,960 - [Darcy] Come on! - [gunshots continue] 1079 00:48:50,510 --> 00:48:52,160 - We gotta zip. - Zip? 1080 00:48:52,360 --> 00:48:53,590 What do you mean, "zip"? 1081 00:48:54,590 --> 00:48:56,620 - Oh! Zip. Oh, God! - [gunshot] 1082 00:48:56,820 --> 00:48:58,010 Go, go, go. 1083 00:48:58,680 --> 00:49:00,500 No, I don't think we have the proper equipment. 1084 00:49:00,700 --> 00:49:02,040 - [gunshot] - Well, they have guns. 1085 00:49:02,240 --> 00:49:03,250 [Tom] Is there some kind of a manual? 1086 00:49:03,450 --> 00:49:04,380 [pirate 3] Come down! 1087 00:49:04,580 --> 00:49:06,920 [Tom] We need helmets. I see lots of helmets in the photos. 1088 00:49:07,120 --> 00:49:07,920 [Darcy grunts] 1089 00:49:08,120 --> 00:49:09,340 And then why do they look scared? 1090 00:49:09,540 --> 00:49:11,150 [Darcy] Stop thinking so much. Jump! 1091 00:49:11,940 --> 00:49:14,030 [Tom screaming] 1092 00:49:17,740 --> 00:49:20,480 - Stop screaming! - Oh, God! Oh, my God! 1093 00:49:20,680 --> 00:49:21,810 Whoa! 1094 00:49:22,010 --> 00:49:23,060 Tom, don't let go. 1095 00:49:23,260 --> 00:49:25,210 - [gunshots] - The fuck! 1096 00:49:25,790 --> 00:49:28,170 [both screaming] 1097 00:49:29,300 --> 00:49:31,110 [Tom] Hold on, baby. Hold on. 1098 00:49:31,310 --> 00:49:32,470 Okay. 1099 00:49:34,590 --> 00:49:36,370 [Tom screaming] 1100 00:49:36,570 --> 00:49:37,510 [grenade clatters] 1101 00:49:38,220 --> 00:49:39,220 [pirate 4] Uh... 1102 00:49:40,260 --> 00:49:43,690 - Yeah! [laughs] - [Darcy] Yeah! 1103 00:49:44,350 --> 00:49:46,130 [pirate leader] What the hell was that? 1104 00:49:46,330 --> 00:49:48,440 - [Darcy screaming] - [laughing] 1105 00:49:50,020 --> 00:49:52,360 [Tom screaming] 1106 00:49:56,910 --> 00:49:57,950 [Darcy] Oh, God! 1107 00:50:00,540 --> 00:50:02,190 - [Darcy] Oh, God! - How do we land this thing? 1108 00:50:02,390 --> 00:50:03,730 Me first. I'm gonna go first. 1109 00:50:03,930 --> 00:50:06,730 - What about me? - No, let me. Me first. 1110 00:50:06,930 --> 00:50:08,400 I'm gonna jump. I'm gonna jump. 1111 00:50:08,600 --> 00:50:10,740 - [Tom] Okay, okay. - I got it. I got it. 1112 00:50:10,940 --> 00:50:12,130 Here I go! 1113 00:50:14,420 --> 00:50:15,840 [Darcy groans] 1114 00:50:17,430 --> 00:50:20,390 [Tom] Oh! [groaning] 1115 00:50:22,390 --> 00:50:23,810 [Tom panting] 1116 00:50:26,940 --> 00:50:28,900 [solemn music playing] 1117 00:50:37,030 --> 00:50:38,990 [suspenseful music playing] 1118 00:50:45,370 --> 00:50:47,040 [pirate leader] These people are sick. 1119 00:50:47,790 --> 00:50:51,150 You find them, but I kill them. 1120 00:50:51,350 --> 00:50:52,880 [rustling] 1121 00:50:54,380 --> 00:50:55,800 [pirate 2] You can have the man, 1122 00:50:56,840 --> 00:50:58,630 but the bride is mine. 1123 00:51:01,680 --> 00:51:03,460 [Darcy] Police, coast guard, they're all right there. 1124 00:51:03,660 --> 00:51:04,870 - How do we get across? - I don't know. 1125 00:51:05,070 --> 00:51:07,540 [Carol] Okay, let's all go around and play two truths and a lie. 1126 00:51:07,740 --> 00:51:08,670 [pirate] Be quiet! 1127 00:51:08,870 --> 00:51:10,020 - Carol. - Mom. 1128 00:51:10,480 --> 00:51:11,860 - [Darcy] Easy. - [mumbles] 1129 00:51:12,690 --> 00:51:13,900 Okay, come on. 1130 00:51:14,650 --> 00:51:15,940 Come on, come on, come on. 1131 00:51:20,990 --> 00:51:22,350 [Darcy] Oh, my God. 1132 00:51:22,550 --> 00:51:23,870 Oh, my God. [crying] 1133 00:51:25,750 --> 00:51:27,120 I'm gonna fix this. 1134 00:51:31,130 --> 00:51:32,490 [Darcy] My poor mom. 1135 00:51:32,690 --> 00:51:35,460 She thought she was gonna be able to avoid my dad all weekend. 1136 00:51:37,050 --> 00:51:39,590 My mom used to love my dad so much. 1137 00:51:42,010 --> 00:51:43,660 He was her whole world. 1138 00:51:43,860 --> 00:51:46,600 Then when he left, she just lost her joy. 1139 00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:49,230 I mean, she acts tough, but... 1140 00:51:51,900 --> 00:51:53,610 she never really recovered. 1141 00:51:58,990 --> 00:52:00,610 - Darcy, I'm sorry... - I know. 1142 00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:03,700 We have to keep moving. 1143 00:52:06,990 --> 00:52:08,040 [both gasp] 1144 00:52:12,920 --> 00:52:14,880 [amusing music playing] 1145 00:52:19,550 --> 00:52:21,430 [whispering] What the hell does that mean? 1146 00:52:25,010 --> 00:52:26,010 [whispering] Kitchen. 1147 00:52:28,930 --> 00:52:30,340 - [door opens] - [Tom grunts] 1148 00:52:30,530 --> 00:52:32,190 Okay, we need to find a knife. 1149 00:52:32,690 --> 00:52:34,710 - Oh. Mmm. - What... What... 1150 00:52:34,910 --> 00:52:35,760 What are you doing? 1151 00:52:35,960 --> 00:52:37,340 I'm starving. Have you eaten today? 1152 00:52:37,540 --> 00:52:38,510 No, I'm not hungry. 1153 00:52:38,710 --> 00:52:39,970 Yes, you are. You're acting cranky. 1154 00:52:40,170 --> 00:52:42,990 - Mmm. Mmm! Mmm. - [Darcy] Mmm. 1155 00:52:44,740 --> 00:52:46,950 - Mmm, this is so delicious. - [indistinct radio chatter] 1156 00:52:48,620 --> 00:52:49,700 [Darcy gasps] 1157 00:52:58,210 --> 00:52:59,780 [whispering] I love your mom. 1158 00:52:59,980 --> 00:53:01,220 Okay, come on. 1159 00:53:02,300 --> 00:53:04,120 Come on. Ow! Easy, easy. 1160 00:53:04,320 --> 00:53:05,500 I can't cut with one hand. 1161 00:53:05,690 --> 00:53:07,260 Well, I can't cut with no hands. 1162 00:53:11,890 --> 00:53:13,630 We need to find something else. 1163 00:53:13,830 --> 00:53:14,900 Okay? 1164 00:53:15,650 --> 00:53:17,980 Something that cuts through plastic. 1165 00:53:18,900 --> 00:53:20,280 Hmm... 1166 00:53:22,900 --> 00:53:23,910 Yep. 1167 00:53:24,410 --> 00:53:26,160 [whirring] 1168 00:53:28,830 --> 00:53:30,310 - Is this a bad idea? - Yeah. 1169 00:53:30,510 --> 00:53:32,290 - You ready? - No! 1170 00:53:33,920 --> 00:53:34,920 Okay. 1171 00:53:37,790 --> 00:53:39,380 [mumbles] There you go. 1172 00:53:41,170 --> 00:53:42,530 [loudly] Hang on, hang on, hang on! 1173 00:53:42,730 --> 00:53:43,740 [groans] Darcy, you're stalling. 1174 00:53:43,940 --> 00:53:44,950 - I know. - We got this. 1175 00:53:45,150 --> 00:53:46,180 - Okay. Yes. - We got this. 1176 00:53:46,890 --> 00:53:48,500 - On my count. Ready? - Okay. 1177 00:53:48,700 --> 00:53:51,420 - Yes. - Ten, nine, eight... 1178 00:53:51,620 --> 00:53:53,170 Why are you counting from ten? 1179 00:53:53,370 --> 00:53:54,500 What is this, a rocket launch? 1180 00:53:54,700 --> 00:53:55,690 Okay, fine. On four. 1181 00:53:56,310 --> 00:53:59,720 One, two, three-- 1182 00:53:59,920 --> 00:54:01,220 No one goes on four. 1183 00:54:01,420 --> 00:54:02,760 - No one goes on four. - All right... 1184 00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:04,100 Shh! Shh. 1185 00:54:04,290 --> 00:54:05,930 - [grunts] Okay. - Just... 1186 00:54:06,130 --> 00:54:08,180 - Just like a Band-Aid. - Fine, fine. 1187 00:54:08,380 --> 00:54:09,480 - Ready? Go. - Like a Band-Aid. 1188 00:54:09,680 --> 00:54:11,440 - [machine whines] - [Tom screams] 1189 00:54:11,640 --> 00:54:13,910 - [groaning] - [Darcy screams] 1190 00:54:15,160 --> 00:54:16,320 [blood dripping] 1191 00:54:16,520 --> 00:54:18,070 [muffled screaming] 1192 00:54:18,270 --> 00:54:19,250 [squeals] 1193 00:54:20,960 --> 00:54:22,800 [groans] Oh, my God. 1194 00:54:27,220 --> 00:54:28,680 Come on. [grunts] 1195 00:54:33,350 --> 00:54:35,420 [tense music playing] 1196 00:54:35,620 --> 00:54:37,730 - [sizzling] - [liquid boiling] 1197 00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:04,920 [cocks gun] 1198 00:55:05,630 --> 00:55:06,800 Tom! 1199 00:55:08,590 --> 00:55:09,840 [softly] Tom. 1200 00:55:10,340 --> 00:55:12,350 - [dish clangs] - [Tom grunts] 1201 00:55:19,900 --> 00:55:20,900 [grunts] 1202 00:55:22,820 --> 00:55:23,820 [pirate grunts] 1203 00:55:26,820 --> 00:55:28,700 [squeaking] 1204 00:55:29,070 --> 00:55:30,610 [both grunting] 1205 00:55:40,500 --> 00:55:41,920 [pirate screams] 1206 00:55:42,880 --> 00:55:44,050 [pirate yells] 1207 00:55:50,680 --> 00:55:52,600 [Tom panting] 1208 00:55:56,520 --> 00:55:58,480 [continues panting] 1209 00:56:02,350 --> 00:56:03,650 I thought you left. 1210 00:56:05,110 --> 00:56:06,190 What? 1211 00:56:08,650 --> 00:56:09,650 No. 1212 00:56:11,360 --> 00:56:12,530 Never. 1213 00:56:16,910 --> 00:56:18,330 Where'd your mom's knife go? 1214 00:56:29,670 --> 00:56:31,510 Oh, Jesus, help me. 1215 00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:39,270 [sighs in relief] That's good. 1216 00:56:40,680 --> 00:56:41,940 Throw me those boots. 1217 00:57:00,540 --> 00:57:02,580 [rousing music playing] 1218 00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:08,840 What? 1219 00:57:09,760 --> 00:57:12,800 That dress is growing on me. 1220 00:57:15,430 --> 00:57:16,640 Thanks. 1221 00:57:17,390 --> 00:57:19,010 I wanted something less traditional. 1222 00:57:20,770 --> 00:57:22,730 [whirring] 1223 00:57:28,480 --> 00:57:30,150 [intense music playing] 1224 00:57:48,290 --> 00:57:51,170 Yes. Maybe Margy's got a hard line to the Internet. 1225 00:57:52,760 --> 00:57:54,300 Wow, does Margy love corgis. 1226 00:57:55,970 --> 00:57:57,850 No. Damn it. 1227 00:57:58,970 --> 00:58:00,620 [pirate 2] You go over there, I'll go here. 1228 00:58:00,820 --> 00:58:02,080 - [pirate 5] Yeah. - They're right there. 1229 00:58:02,280 --> 00:58:03,770 - What do I do? - I don't know. 1230 00:58:04,190 --> 00:58:05,560 I don't know. 1231 00:58:06,650 --> 00:58:08,050 - [Tom gasps] - [shushes] 1232 00:58:08,250 --> 00:58:09,670 - Oh, Margy. - This way. 1233 00:58:09,870 --> 00:58:10,900 [Tom] Go, go, go. 1234 00:58:11,940 --> 00:58:13,260 Okay. I got you. 1235 00:58:13,460 --> 00:58:15,280 [Darcy] It's okay. It's okay. 1236 00:58:16,280 --> 00:58:17,310 [door closes] 1237 00:58:17,510 --> 00:58:19,120 Come. Faster, faster. 1238 00:58:20,120 --> 00:58:21,810 Ace, Margy... 1239 00:58:22,010 --> 00:58:23,690 - Is this your bunker? - [Ace] Uh-huh. 1240 00:58:23,890 --> 00:58:24,730 - Man cave. - Is it spinning? 1241 00:58:24,930 --> 00:58:25,920 Is it spinning for anyone else? 1242 00:58:26,290 --> 00:58:27,980 You're losing blood. Sit down. 1243 00:58:28,180 --> 00:58:30,610 - Sit down. Okay. - Bandages. Ace. 1244 00:58:30,810 --> 00:58:32,360 [Ace] I'll get the medical kit. 1245 00:58:32,560 --> 00:58:34,070 Give me your hand. I'm gonna wrap it. 1246 00:58:34,270 --> 00:58:36,090 No. No, no, no. No. 1247 00:58:36,720 --> 00:58:38,180 Are you sure? It's disgusting. 1248 00:58:39,680 --> 00:58:40,680 Yeah. 1249 00:58:47,520 --> 00:58:48,810 Oh. Cheers. 1250 00:58:51,770 --> 00:58:52,930 [shudders] Okay. 1251 00:58:53,130 --> 00:58:55,440 [groans] Looks like it's got a flap. 1252 00:58:56,700 --> 00:58:58,100 It's got a loose flap. 1253 00:58:58,300 --> 00:58:59,410 - Listen, just be... - [Darcy] Mm-hmm. 1254 00:59:00,070 --> 00:59:02,230 Just... Just be careful with the flap. 1255 00:59:02,430 --> 00:59:04,690 Please stop saying "flap," okay? 1256 00:59:04,890 --> 00:59:06,960 I'm totally fine. Just don't say flap. 1257 00:59:07,750 --> 00:59:09,780 - [Margy] How many are there? - Uh... 1258 00:59:09,980 --> 00:59:13,200 Two in the lobby. Couple more by the pool with the hostages. 1259 00:59:13,400 --> 00:59:16,280 And, uh, one by the dock, right? 1260 00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:18,680 But we got four. 1261 00:59:19,430 --> 00:59:20,930 What do you mean, "got"? 1262 00:59:24,220 --> 00:59:26,640 Got them to stop, you know, 1263 00:59:27,890 --> 00:59:29,140 being alive. 1264 00:59:29,940 --> 00:59:31,550 Holy shit. 1265 00:59:31,750 --> 00:59:33,930 [Tom] Well, yeah, we didn't see any of your staff, though. 1266 00:59:34,120 --> 00:59:36,260 I saw them getting locked up in the spa. 1267 00:59:36,460 --> 00:59:37,850 They never bother with the locals. 1268 00:59:38,050 --> 00:59:41,180 Americans are the rich idiots. No offense. 1269 00:59:41,380 --> 00:59:44,100 I just don't understand why the pirates are still here. 1270 00:59:44,300 --> 00:59:45,940 Last time, they just looted the rooms. 1271 00:59:46,140 --> 00:59:49,160 Twenty minutes, gone. [sighs] 1272 00:59:50,460 --> 00:59:51,610 What do you mean, "last time"? 1273 00:59:51,810 --> 00:59:53,530 Last year. [speaking Filipino] 1274 00:59:53,730 --> 00:59:55,570 [in English] Two thousand islands in the Philippines, 1275 00:59:55,770 --> 00:59:56,820 and they hit us twice? 1276 00:59:57,020 --> 00:59:58,340 - It's not fair. - Wait, wait. 1277 00:59:59,340 --> 01:00:01,620 The pirates were here last summer? 1278 01:00:01,820 --> 01:00:03,200 And you let us have our wedding here? 1279 01:00:03,400 --> 01:00:06,850 What? Tom-Tom. We talked about it, huh? 1280 01:00:09,390 --> 01:00:10,340 You knew about this? 1281 01:00:10,540 --> 01:00:12,460 Well, first of all, nobody got killed last summer. 1282 01:00:12,660 --> 01:00:13,590 And we both agreed that 1283 01:00:13,790 --> 01:00:15,880 the chances of it happening again were very small. 1284 01:00:16,080 --> 01:00:17,820 - Who's "we"? - Me and Margy. 1285 01:00:18,490 --> 01:00:19,550 We e-mailed a lot, 1286 01:00:19,750 --> 01:00:21,470 and I asked a lot of tough questions, didn't I? 1287 01:00:21,670 --> 01:00:23,720 How could you not tell me about this? 1288 01:00:23,920 --> 01:00:25,310 You didn't tell me that you were having doubts 1289 01:00:25,510 --> 01:00:26,560 about getting married, so... 1290 01:00:26,760 --> 01:00:29,580 Yeah, you're right. I didn't. You know why? 1291 01:00:29,910 --> 01:00:33,780 Because all last year, you were in your head about everything. 1292 01:00:33,980 --> 01:00:36,650 You thought my dad didn't like you, so you started acting all weird. 1293 01:00:36,850 --> 01:00:38,090 And now my dad doesn't like you. 1294 01:00:38,760 --> 01:00:40,240 You thought the Robins were gonna drop you. 1295 01:00:40,440 --> 01:00:42,660 And then you started playing badly, and they did drop you. 1296 01:00:42,860 --> 01:00:44,750 You think that something bad is gonna happen, 1297 01:00:44,950 --> 01:00:46,660 and then you make it happen. 1298 01:00:46,860 --> 01:00:48,210 That's called self-sabotage. 1299 01:00:48,410 --> 01:00:50,390 It is. Ace, thank you. 1300 01:00:50,810 --> 01:00:53,460 And all you were excited about was this wedding. 1301 01:00:53,660 --> 01:00:56,590 And I knew that if I told you that I was having doubts, 1302 01:00:56,790 --> 01:00:58,720 that you would sabotage our whole relationship. 1303 01:00:58,920 --> 01:01:00,340 Which you did anyway! 1304 01:01:00,540 --> 01:01:02,030 I didn't sabotage anything. 1305 01:01:02,530 --> 01:01:04,180 I tried to make this wedding perfect. 1306 01:01:04,380 --> 01:01:07,020 And it all got ruined the day your boy Sean showed up. 1307 01:01:07,220 --> 01:01:08,810 This has nothing to do with Sean. 1308 01:01:09,010 --> 01:01:10,650 This is about your insecurities. 1309 01:01:10,850 --> 01:01:12,060 And this whole wedding 1310 01:01:12,260 --> 01:01:14,650 was your way of trying to get control of your life, 1311 01:01:14,850 --> 01:01:15,990 because you have to control everything. 1312 01:01:16,180 --> 01:01:18,950 It's like when you get out of the car to "help me" parallel park, 1313 01:01:19,150 --> 01:01:20,610 when I can do it just fine on my own. 1314 01:01:20,810 --> 01:01:22,330 Yeah, I wouldn't call a 17-point turn "just fine." 1315 01:01:22,520 --> 01:01:24,490 Well, those jeans you bought from Old Navy last month 1316 01:01:24,690 --> 01:01:25,830 were women's jeans. 1317 01:01:26,030 --> 01:01:27,080 Uh... 1318 01:01:27,280 --> 01:01:28,620 Well, I found them in the men's section. 1319 01:01:28,820 --> 01:01:30,040 They made you look like Stevie Nicks. 1320 01:01:30,240 --> 01:01:32,670 That haircut that you got last year, I hated it. 1321 01:01:32,870 --> 01:01:35,300 It made your head look square. You looked like a fucking Simpson. 1322 01:01:35,500 --> 01:01:36,920 You said it was chic. 1323 01:01:37,120 --> 01:01:38,720 You act so confident, 1324 01:01:38,920 --> 01:01:40,570 so strong, but you're just a scared little girl. 1325 01:01:42,240 --> 01:01:44,430 You're afraid to go all in on this relationship 1326 01:01:44,630 --> 01:01:46,810 because it means you might have something to lose. 1327 01:01:47,010 --> 01:01:48,410 [breath trembling] 1328 01:01:53,830 --> 01:01:56,040 Well, you know what? None of it matters anyway. 1329 01:01:57,130 --> 01:02:00,340 Because everyone we love could die. 1330 01:02:03,670 --> 01:02:04,970 Because of me. 1331 01:02:08,680 --> 01:02:10,000 [Margy gasps] 1332 01:02:10,200 --> 01:02:11,560 [Tom shushes] 1333 01:02:23,530 --> 01:02:24,530 [radio crackles] 1334 01:02:25,360 --> 01:02:26,890 [pirate 2] I think they're in the manager's house. 1335 01:02:27,090 --> 01:02:28,620 [all gasp] 1336 01:02:35,330 --> 01:02:37,120 - [door creaks] - [shushes] 1337 01:02:42,960 --> 01:02:43,960 [door closes] 1338 01:02:48,760 --> 01:02:50,760 [footsteps overhead] 1339 01:02:54,220 --> 01:02:56,060 [indistinct radio chatter] 1340 01:02:58,940 --> 01:03:00,510 [whispering] I think they heard it. 1341 01:03:00,710 --> 01:03:01,760 [whispering] Why? 1342 01:03:01,960 --> 01:03:03,570 They stopped speaking English. 1343 01:03:05,320 --> 01:03:06,740 Here. Take it. 1344 01:03:08,320 --> 01:03:09,950 [Margy whispering] Don't. Tom. 1345 01:03:12,410 --> 01:03:14,270 We need to get out of here. Where does this tunnel go? 1346 01:03:14,470 --> 01:03:17,480 It leads straight to the pool where the rest of the pirates are. 1347 01:03:17,680 --> 01:03:19,170 Oh, that's not ideal. 1348 01:03:20,960 --> 01:03:22,290 [indistinct radio chatter] 1349 01:03:23,380 --> 01:03:24,760 What are they saying? 1350 01:03:25,340 --> 01:03:26,450 No clue. 1351 01:03:26,650 --> 01:03:30,010 I don't know what language that is, but it ain't Filipino. 1352 01:03:30,760 --> 01:03:32,140 - No. - No. 1353 01:03:36,600 --> 01:03:38,480 No one move. Stay right here. 1354 01:03:39,060 --> 01:03:40,190 Nobody move. 1355 01:03:41,360 --> 01:03:42,860 [Darcy] What are you doing? 1356 01:03:47,190 --> 01:03:49,200 [suspenseful music playing] 1357 01:03:52,700 --> 01:03:53,700 Okay. 1358 01:03:54,120 --> 01:03:56,790 They know someone's here, but they don't know all of us are. 1359 01:03:58,960 --> 01:04:01,960 You stay here until it's over. 1360 01:04:03,290 --> 01:04:04,250 Tom! 1361 01:04:08,630 --> 01:04:10,700 Tom! They're gonna kill you. 1362 01:04:10,900 --> 01:04:12,470 - Don't do this. - [Tom] I have to. 1363 01:04:13,140 --> 01:04:15,390 This isn't about us anymore. This is... 1364 01:04:16,060 --> 01:04:19,060 [sighs] This whole thing is my fault. 1365 01:04:22,270 --> 01:04:24,060 You deserve better. 1366 01:04:24,860 --> 01:04:25,860 Wait, Tom! 1367 01:04:26,610 --> 01:04:27,780 [grunts] 1368 01:04:37,240 --> 01:04:38,310 [groans] 1369 01:04:38,510 --> 01:04:39,810 Uh... Oh, hey. 1370 01:04:40,010 --> 01:04:41,190 Hey, pirates! 1371 01:04:41,390 --> 01:04:43,650 I'm Tom, the groom you guys have been looking for, 1372 01:04:43,850 --> 01:04:44,740 and I am officially surrendering. 1373 01:04:44,930 --> 01:04:45,820 - [pirate 2] Shut up! - [Tom] All right. 1374 01:04:46,020 --> 01:04:47,240 What, you don't like to be called "pirates"? 1375 01:04:47,440 --> 01:04:50,450 I wanted to be a pirate when I was a kid, and you guys are actually doin' it. 1376 01:04:50,650 --> 01:04:51,950 - [pirate 2] Move. - [Tom] You're livin' the dream. 1377 01:04:52,150 --> 01:04:53,050 Congratulations. 1378 01:04:53,510 --> 01:04:56,330 They didn't kill him. Oh, my God. 1379 01:04:56,530 --> 01:04:57,680 He's still alive. 1380 01:04:59,770 --> 01:05:00,770 [pirate 2] Go! 1381 01:05:01,520 --> 01:05:03,730 Keep going. Just move. 1382 01:05:05,900 --> 01:05:08,260 [Carol] Tommy. Oh, my God. It's Tommy. Tommy! 1383 01:05:08,460 --> 01:05:10,090 - [all clamoring] - Shut up! 1384 01:05:10,290 --> 01:05:11,720 - Tommy, where is Darcy? - Shut up! 1385 01:05:11,920 --> 01:05:14,680 [pirate leader] Yes. Where is your bride? 1386 01:05:14,880 --> 01:05:16,490 - I... I don't know. - [stapler clicks] 1387 01:05:17,660 --> 01:05:19,690 Truly. Honestly. I... I... I don't. 1388 01:05:19,890 --> 01:05:22,290 For reals. I don't... I don't... I don't know. 1389 01:05:23,330 --> 01:05:24,730 You're a bad liar. 1390 01:05:24,930 --> 01:05:26,360 Yeah, he is a bad liar. 1391 01:05:26,560 --> 01:05:29,360 Tom, if you know something, the best thing you can do is cooperate. 1392 01:05:29,560 --> 01:05:31,090 All they want is the money. 1393 01:05:32,130 --> 01:05:35,540 You know what? Thank you, Sean, as always, for being the voice of reason. 1394 01:05:35,740 --> 01:05:36,620 Enough! 1395 01:05:36,820 --> 01:05:37,960 - [guns cock] - [guests gasp] 1396 01:05:38,150 --> 01:05:40,270 - Okay, fine! - [Larry] Okay. 1397 01:05:41,220 --> 01:05:42,640 I'll tell you where she is. 1398 01:05:43,850 --> 01:05:45,850 [tense music playing] 1399 01:05:48,360 --> 01:05:49,630 [whispers] Katuk kak ci. 1400 01:05:49,830 --> 01:05:50,680 - [pirate leader] What? - [grunts] 1401 01:05:50,880 --> 01:05:52,050 [guests exclaim] 1402 01:05:52,250 --> 01:05:53,600 Holy shit. What did you say to him? 1403 01:05:53,800 --> 01:05:55,100 [Tom] It's kind of an inside joke, Sean. 1404 01:05:55,300 --> 01:05:56,600 Can you give me a hand? I'm a little woozy. 1405 01:05:56,800 --> 01:05:58,390 [Sean] 'Course, man. Here, I got you. 1406 01:05:58,590 --> 01:06:00,890 - Whoa, whoa! Whoa! - [all screaming] 1407 01:06:01,090 --> 01:06:03,230 - [gun cocks] - What the hell are you doing? 1408 01:06:03,430 --> 01:06:05,270 Don't move or I swear to God, you'll lose an eye. 1409 01:06:05,470 --> 01:06:06,530 Tommy, what are you doing? 1410 01:06:06,730 --> 01:06:08,190 Are you gonna spill the beans or should I? 1411 01:06:08,390 --> 01:06:09,280 What beans? 1412 01:06:09,480 --> 01:06:10,820 [crying] Just spill the beans. 1413 01:06:11,020 --> 01:06:12,490 Sean hired these guys 1414 01:06:12,690 --> 01:06:15,090 to invade our wedding to take Robert's money! 1415 01:06:15,720 --> 01:06:17,200 [Sean] Whoa. No, no, no, no, Tom. 1416 01:06:17,400 --> 01:06:18,370 No, it's true. 1417 01:06:18,570 --> 01:06:20,910 [Sean] That is a serious accusation, 1418 01:06:21,110 --> 01:06:22,370 but it's okay, 1419 01:06:22,570 --> 01:06:24,670 'cause jealousy can get the best of any of us. 1420 01:06:24,870 --> 01:06:26,250 Oh, no, no, no. I'm not jealous. 1421 01:06:26,450 --> 01:06:27,670 - [guests murmur] - [Renata] Kind of. 1422 01:06:27,870 --> 01:06:30,510 It is completely normal for you to see me as a threat 1423 01:06:30,710 --> 01:06:31,930 because Deedee and I 1424 01:06:32,130 --> 01:06:33,800 - had something transcendent. - [scoffs] 1425 01:06:34,000 --> 01:06:36,060 But I am not a bad guy. 1426 01:06:36,250 --> 01:06:38,270 And I definitely don't have anything to do with these pirates. 1427 01:06:38,470 --> 01:06:42,310 Oh, yeah? Then why did he deck me when I told him to go fuck his grandpa? 1428 01:06:42,510 --> 01:06:44,400 Just listen. Listen to yourself. 1429 01:06:44,600 --> 01:06:46,650 I said it in Balinese. These guys are not local. 1430 01:06:46,850 --> 01:06:48,030 They're from Bali. 1431 01:06:48,220 --> 01:06:51,110 Margy said the local pirates just looted and left last time. 1432 01:06:51,310 --> 01:06:52,700 It took 'em, like, 20 minutes. 1433 01:06:52,900 --> 01:06:54,200 Oh, God. "Last time"? 1434 01:06:54,400 --> 01:06:56,200 We were clearly targeted. This whole thing was planned. 1435 01:06:56,400 --> 01:06:59,080 They knew about Robert's money. 1436 01:06:59,280 --> 01:07:02,500 And none of it made sense until I found this. 1437 01:07:02,700 --> 01:07:04,270 [Sean grunting] 1438 01:07:06,100 --> 01:07:07,630 Ricky, grab my... Grab the... the... 1439 01:07:07,830 --> 01:07:09,210 - [Ricky] Yeah, yeah. - In my front pocket. Grab... 1440 01:07:09,410 --> 01:07:10,420 There's an envelope in my front pocket. 1441 01:07:10,620 --> 01:07:12,650 - [all exclaiming] - Just grab it! 1442 01:07:13,110 --> 01:07:14,090 There you go. 1443 01:07:14,290 --> 01:07:15,690 A-ha! 1444 01:07:16,110 --> 01:07:17,300 [pirate leader] Slow, slow. Go slow. 1445 01:07:17,500 --> 01:07:18,700 [Tom laughs] 1446 01:07:19,160 --> 01:07:20,310 Your wedding invitation? 1447 01:07:20,510 --> 01:07:22,940 [Tom] Yes, but I got it off of one of these guys. 1448 01:07:23,130 --> 01:07:25,400 Now, how did they get that invitation? 1449 01:07:25,600 --> 01:07:27,060 - [Carol] I don't know. - [Larry] Uh... 1450 01:07:27,260 --> 01:07:29,580 It had to be given to him by an invited guest. 1451 01:07:30,500 --> 01:07:33,420 Now, what invited guest could that be? Huh? 1452 01:07:36,010 --> 01:07:37,420 Ricky, op... open it. 1453 01:07:39,220 --> 01:07:40,680 A-ha! 1454 01:07:42,140 --> 01:07:46,540 This asshat thought it was appropriate to show up to a wedding he didn't RSVP to! 1455 01:07:46,740 --> 01:07:48,710 He didn't RSVP! 1456 01:07:48,910 --> 01:07:50,710 Mom, that's not the main issue right now. 1457 01:07:50,910 --> 01:07:54,300 Look, I'm a mother. I can be upset about a lot of things at the same time. 1458 01:07:54,500 --> 01:07:55,980 I think, right now, we should be upset about one thing. 1459 01:07:56,570 --> 01:07:59,100 - Oh, okay. - [Tom] Sean had these guys 1460 01:07:59,300 --> 01:08:01,600 crash our wedding so that he could get a big fat ransom 1461 01:08:01,800 --> 01:08:03,180 from his best friend, Robert. 1462 01:08:03,380 --> 01:08:04,910 [guests exclaiming] 1463 01:08:06,500 --> 01:08:08,060 Huh? Yeah! 1464 01:08:08,260 --> 01:08:10,150 - [Sean] Bob... Bob. - [Tom] Yes! 1465 01:08:10,350 --> 01:08:11,650 This is because I didn't give you 1466 01:08:11,850 --> 01:08:13,490 that investment money you wanted, isn't it? 1467 01:08:13,690 --> 01:08:14,990 - Yeah. - No, no, it's not like that. 1468 01:08:15,190 --> 01:08:16,740 - [exclaims in Spanish] - How could... Papi. 1469 01:08:16,940 --> 01:08:19,490 How could you believe that I would come here and betray ev... 1470 01:08:19,690 --> 01:08:20,840 [Tom] Believe it, Robert. Believe it. 1471 01:08:21,970 --> 01:08:23,930 - That's right. That's right. - Shit. 1472 01:08:24,300 --> 01:08:25,810 - [grunts] - [all gasp] 1473 01:08:30,770 --> 01:08:31,840 [guests clamoring] 1474 01:08:32,040 --> 01:08:35,650 See? See, I told ya! I told ya! 1475 01:08:36,860 --> 01:08:41,530 [Margy] These lanterns are so intricate. Is there a note in it? 1476 01:08:46,410 --> 01:08:48,730 "Be excellent to each other." 1477 01:08:48,930 --> 01:08:50,540 - [Ace] Hmm. - [Margy] Hmm. Huh. 1478 01:08:53,790 --> 01:08:56,250 [wheezing cry] 1479 01:08:58,510 --> 01:09:01,510 It's from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. 1480 01:09:02,720 --> 01:09:06,290 Tom wanted to put a movie quote in each one of the lanterns, and I... 1481 01:09:06,490 --> 01:09:09,670 I thought it was stupid, but it's not. 1482 01:09:09,870 --> 01:09:11,960 It's sweet. 1483 01:09:12,160 --> 01:09:13,960 And I messed it all up. 1484 01:09:14,160 --> 01:09:16,090 I don't know how you guys do it. 1485 01:09:16,290 --> 01:09:19,280 You must have something really special. [sniffles] 1486 01:09:19,730 --> 01:09:22,260 - Not really. - Oi. 1487 01:09:22,460 --> 01:09:26,140 Uh, I mean, it is special but it is not magic. 1488 01:09:26,340 --> 01:09:28,310 We just made a vow. 1489 01:09:28,510 --> 01:09:31,060 And we've messed things up thousands of times. 1490 01:09:31,260 --> 01:09:35,170 But when we break something, we fix it. 1491 01:09:37,590 --> 01:09:39,340 [patting Margy] 1492 01:09:46,300 --> 01:09:48,310 [dramatic music playing] 1493 01:09:49,680 --> 01:09:53,060 [Margy] Darcy, we come with you, but we don't want to. 1494 01:09:59,730 --> 01:10:01,680 Tommy finally made the big leagues. 1495 01:10:01,880 --> 01:10:04,030 Yeah, I never heard that one before. 1496 01:10:04,450 --> 01:10:06,110 I know you haven't. 1497 01:10:06,820 --> 01:10:09,270 - Where is she? - I don't know. 1498 01:10:09,470 --> 01:10:10,850 I don't... I... I don't... I don't know. 1499 01:10:11,050 --> 01:10:13,730 - You're lying. - No, I'm... I'm... Honestly, 1500 01:10:13,930 --> 01:10:15,420 - I don't know. - Okay. 1501 01:10:16,540 --> 01:10:18,080 - [grunts] - [guests exclaiming] 1502 01:10:19,040 --> 01:10:20,030 God damn it! 1503 01:10:20,230 --> 01:10:21,410 - Would you stop doing that? - [Caro] Yeah. 1504 01:10:21,600 --> 01:10:24,370 - He'll do it again. - [Tom] Fine. Fine. 1505 01:10:24,570 --> 01:10:25,530 I was lying. 1506 01:10:25,730 --> 01:10:27,410 [guests agreeing] 1507 01:10:27,610 --> 01:10:30,620 After we cut ourselves loose, Darcy and I got into a fight. 1508 01:10:30,820 --> 01:10:33,130 She hopped in a golf cart to go look for cell reception 1509 01:10:33,320 --> 01:10:35,880 up by the northern coast near the cliffs, and then I... 1510 01:10:36,080 --> 01:10:38,100 I came back here to try to rescue everyone. 1511 01:10:38,650 --> 01:10:39,810 [Ricky] Come on! 1512 01:10:43,990 --> 01:10:45,140 Okay. 1513 01:10:45,340 --> 01:10:46,320 [sighs] 1514 01:10:46,820 --> 01:10:48,220 [pirate leader] We'll take the chopper to find her. 1515 01:10:48,420 --> 01:10:49,730 I'm comin' with you. 1516 01:10:49,920 --> 01:10:51,850 I've been watching you mess this up all day. 1517 01:10:52,050 --> 01:10:53,600 This is my show now. 1518 01:10:53,800 --> 01:10:55,060 [mouthing] Wow, that's really good. 1519 01:10:55,260 --> 01:10:56,960 We're doing this my way now. You got it? 1520 01:10:57,870 --> 01:10:58,960 We need collateral. 1521 01:11:00,750 --> 01:11:02,840 [unsettling music playing] 1522 01:11:09,510 --> 01:11:10,450 Get the girlfriend. 1523 01:11:10,650 --> 01:11:12,830 - [all clamoring] - [pirate 1] Hey. Come. 1524 01:11:13,030 --> 01:11:14,880 - Here. Move! - Ow! Hey. 1525 01:11:15,070 --> 01:11:16,500 Oh, no. 1526 01:11:16,700 --> 01:11:18,630 - [pirate 1] Go. Move! - Please, I'm a Gemini. 1527 01:11:18,830 --> 01:11:20,480 I bruise easily. 1528 01:11:21,440 --> 01:11:22,720 - [pirate 1] Go! - [Harriett] Ow! Ow! Ow! 1529 01:11:22,920 --> 01:11:24,650 - Oh, my God! - [Sean] Robert? Robert! 1530 01:11:25,360 --> 01:11:27,550 When I get back, that money better be in my account. 1531 01:11:27,750 --> 01:11:29,310 And if it's not, she's dead. 1532 01:11:29,510 --> 01:11:31,370 And I treated you just like a son. 1533 01:11:32,030 --> 01:11:33,890 - You're stuck with Tommy now. - Robert. 1534 01:11:34,090 --> 01:11:36,190 - Well, what's wrong with that? - Fuck off. 1535 01:11:36,390 --> 01:11:39,000 - [dramatic music playing] - [imperceptible] 1536 01:11:46,050 --> 01:11:47,340 [soft thud] 1537 01:11:49,340 --> 01:11:50,550 [thud] 1538 01:11:52,930 --> 01:11:54,260 [pirates chattering] 1539 01:11:54,680 --> 01:11:56,890 [indistinct chatter] 1540 01:11:58,480 --> 01:12:00,400 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 1541 01:12:01,770 --> 01:12:03,610 - [cocks gun] - [all exclaiming] 1542 01:12:04,440 --> 01:12:05,430 Darcy... 1543 01:12:05,630 --> 01:12:10,310 Tom, you promised you wouldn't leave my side this weekend. 1544 01:12:10,510 --> 01:12:11,870 Darcy, what are you doing? 1545 01:12:12,280 --> 01:12:13,450 Tom, listen. 1546 01:12:13,950 --> 01:12:16,480 I'm still mad at you for picking this pirate island, 1547 01:12:16,680 --> 01:12:19,210 but I messed up too. I should've told you... 1548 01:12:20,500 --> 01:12:22,420 how scared I was to get married. 1549 01:12:23,170 --> 01:12:24,440 That wasn't fair. 1550 01:12:24,640 --> 01:12:26,360 You worked so hard on this pirate island wedding. 1551 01:12:26,560 --> 01:12:28,450 Okay, no, no, no. Please stop calling it that. 1552 01:12:28,650 --> 01:12:30,880 I just worried that if I told you... 1553 01:12:33,510 --> 01:12:34,930 that I would lose you. 1554 01:12:38,480 --> 01:12:40,600 And I can't lose you. 1555 01:12:43,190 --> 01:12:44,440 I need you. 1556 01:12:48,530 --> 01:12:49,740 Okay? 1557 01:12:53,410 --> 01:12:54,350 [shouts] Okay? 1558 01:12:54,550 --> 01:12:55,350 - [all clamor] - Okay. 1559 01:12:55,550 --> 01:12:57,020 - Okay. - [Tom] Okay. 1560 01:12:57,220 --> 01:12:59,150 This is so much better than South Pacific. 1561 01:12:59,350 --> 01:13:00,750 And Mom, Dad? 1562 01:13:01,290 --> 01:13:03,110 - [all exclaiming] - [Jamie screams] 1563 01:13:03,310 --> 01:13:04,190 Whoa! 1564 01:13:04,390 --> 01:13:05,320 - [Ricky] Babe. - What the fuck? 1565 01:13:05,520 --> 01:13:06,420 Did you just shoot me? 1566 01:13:06,800 --> 01:13:08,610 Stop shooting your sister! 1567 01:13:08,810 --> 01:13:11,090 I didn't mean to. It was a mistake. I... 1568 01:13:11,880 --> 01:13:13,380 [all gasp] 1569 01:13:14,640 --> 01:13:16,330 Mom, Dad, apologize to Tom. 1570 01:13:16,530 --> 01:13:17,960 - What? Why? - What? 1571 01:13:18,160 --> 01:13:20,580 For criticizing this beautiful wedding that he planned, 1572 01:13:20,780 --> 01:13:23,590 and for never making him feel welcome in our family. 1573 01:13:23,790 --> 01:13:25,670 And for inviting Sean to our wedding. 1574 01:13:25,870 --> 01:13:27,550 Okay, honey, but I think there's 1575 01:13:27,750 --> 01:13:29,220 - a more pressing issue... - Apologize! 1576 01:13:29,420 --> 01:13:31,340 - [all exclaiming] - He is the best person 1577 01:13:31,540 --> 01:13:32,430 that I know. 1578 01:13:32,630 --> 01:13:34,510 And if you say one more bad thing about him, 1579 01:13:34,710 --> 01:13:36,990 I swear I will shoot you like I shot Jamie. 1580 01:13:38,700 --> 01:13:39,640 Tom, I'm sorry. Sorry. 1581 01:13:39,840 --> 01:13:40,940 - Tom, sorry. Sorry. - We love you. 1582 01:13:41,140 --> 01:13:42,110 - Oh, hey, it's fine. - You're the best person 1583 01:13:42,310 --> 01:13:43,440 - I've ever met. - [Tom] It's okay. I love you. 1584 01:13:43,640 --> 01:13:44,780 - We love you like family. - I love you, too. 1585 01:13:44,970 --> 01:13:46,690 - All right. It's all good. - I love this place. Beautiful. 1586 01:13:46,890 --> 01:13:48,030 And, Carol, Larry... 1587 01:13:48,230 --> 01:13:49,400 - [all gasp] - I'm sorry! I'm sorry! 1588 01:13:49,600 --> 01:13:53,330 This was more about me and my family, but we should get lunch sometime. 1589 01:13:53,520 --> 01:13:54,410 - I would... - Oh, yeah, 1590 01:13:54,610 --> 01:13:55,910 - lunch sounds great. Yeah. - We love eating. 1591 01:13:56,110 --> 01:13:58,210 It's hard for anyone to live up to your perfect marriage. 1592 01:13:58,400 --> 01:14:00,370 [chuckles] Who told you we had a perfect marriage? 1593 01:14:00,570 --> 01:14:02,710 Oh, come on, Mom. You guys fought, like, once. 1594 01:14:02,910 --> 01:14:04,090 It was about who loved the dog more. 1595 01:14:04,290 --> 01:14:06,350 I mean, what is not perfect about your marriage? 1596 01:14:06,980 --> 01:14:09,930 Well, I made love to your Aunt Marie. 1597 01:14:10,120 --> 01:14:11,260 - [all exclaiming] - [Ricky] What? 1598 01:14:11,460 --> 01:14:12,800 - [Larry] Yeah. - [Carol] Then I went out 1599 01:14:13,000 --> 01:14:14,550 and started doing all this weird sex stuff 1600 01:14:14,750 --> 01:14:15,810 with Jim Roberts. 1601 01:14:16,010 --> 01:14:17,140 [Larry] Yeah. You and Jim Roberts 1602 01:14:17,340 --> 01:14:19,020 - went on for a couple months. - [Carol] Yes. 1603 01:14:19,220 --> 01:14:21,650 - Because our bodies just fit. - [man] Holy... 1604 01:14:21,840 --> 01:14:24,400 [Carol] In the end, Jim Roberts just wasn't your dad. 1605 01:14:24,600 --> 01:14:26,790 And Aunt Marie realized that she had a sex addiction. 1606 01:14:27,460 --> 01:14:30,210 But then you know what? We worked it out. 1607 01:14:33,170 --> 01:14:34,870 These are some incredible breakthroughs, 1608 01:14:35,070 --> 01:14:36,280 - right? I mean... - [pirate 2] Give me that! 1609 01:14:36,480 --> 01:14:37,370 [all screaming] 1610 01:14:37,570 --> 01:14:38,750 You remember me, huh? 1611 01:14:38,950 --> 01:14:40,790 Look, you burn my face. Huh? 1612 01:14:40,990 --> 01:14:42,470 Yes, I know. I still feel really bad about that. 1613 01:14:46,020 --> 01:14:47,920 Everybody, in the pool! Now! 1614 01:14:48,120 --> 01:14:50,220 - [fires gun] - [all screaming] 1615 01:14:50,410 --> 01:14:52,110 Get in the pool! In! 1616 01:14:52,940 --> 01:14:54,400 Go! Go! 1617 01:14:54,940 --> 01:14:56,610 [Tom panting] 1618 01:14:57,570 --> 01:14:59,140 - Hey, you okay? - Yes. 1619 01:14:59,340 --> 01:15:00,950 - Yeah? - Are we missing people? 1620 01:15:01,450 --> 01:15:03,910 Yeah. Turns out your boy Sean's an asshole. 1621 01:15:05,790 --> 01:15:06,770 We have the bride. 1622 01:15:06,970 --> 01:15:08,540 - [helicopter whirring] - [on radio] Do you copy? 1623 01:15:09,880 --> 01:15:11,340 Do you copy? 1624 01:15:16,880 --> 01:15:18,240 Up! Up! 1625 01:15:18,440 --> 01:15:20,450 - [indistinct talking] - Listen to me. Move. 1626 01:15:20,650 --> 01:15:23,420 Balinese? So these guys are Balinese? 1627 01:15:23,610 --> 01:15:26,330 And Sean is full of shit, and they took Harriett hostage? 1628 01:15:26,530 --> 01:15:27,460 It doesn't make sense. 1629 01:15:27,660 --> 01:15:29,800 Why would Sean take Harriett hostage on the helicopter 1630 01:15:30,000 --> 01:15:31,720 when she was already being held hostage here? 1631 01:15:31,910 --> 01:15:34,340 I don't know. Maybe he wanted to take her extra hostage. 1632 01:15:34,540 --> 01:15:36,360 [Larry] I think Harriett is in on it. 1633 01:15:36,820 --> 01:15:39,410 - [Tom] What? - [Darcy] What do you mean? 1634 01:15:44,990 --> 01:15:46,910 Harriett and Sean... 1635 01:15:47,960 --> 01:15:49,190 are boyfriend-girlfriend. 1636 01:15:49,390 --> 01:15:50,730 - Oh, come on. - Boyfriend-girlfriend? 1637 01:15:50,930 --> 01:15:52,250 [Larry] No, no. Look. 1638 01:15:52,920 --> 01:15:54,570 This is from last night. 1639 01:15:54,770 --> 01:15:56,570 Here we go. [grunts] 1640 01:15:56,770 --> 01:15:57,990 [Latin dance music playing] 1641 01:15:58,190 --> 01:15:59,700 Let's see. 1642 01:15:59,900 --> 01:16:02,680 Uh, hold on. Let me find it. 1643 01:16:03,680 --> 01:16:05,370 Oh. Oh, boy. 1644 01:16:05,570 --> 01:16:07,100 Yeah. There you go. 1645 01:16:08,270 --> 01:16:09,980 [all exclaim] 1646 01:16:15,690 --> 01:16:17,680 What? Go ahead. Say it. 1647 01:16:17,880 --> 01:16:18,900 Roberto... 1648 01:16:22,820 --> 01:16:24,530 Lo siento. 1649 01:16:27,040 --> 01:16:28,290 Gracias. 1650 01:16:29,580 --> 01:16:30,920 De nada. 1651 01:16:32,420 --> 01:16:34,740 [dramatic music playing] 1652 01:16:34,940 --> 01:16:36,050 [pirate leader] There! 1653 01:16:42,180 --> 01:16:45,410 Sean, you promised this job would make us rich. 1654 01:16:45,610 --> 01:16:47,710 So far, all it's done is killed four of my men. 1655 01:16:47,910 --> 01:16:49,210 Man, you know we can fix this. 1656 01:16:49,410 --> 01:16:51,880 Deal is off. I keep the money. 1657 01:16:52,080 --> 01:16:54,090 You walk away with your life. 1658 01:16:54,290 --> 01:16:56,720 I don't wanna hear it. You and I had an arrangement. 1659 01:16:56,920 --> 01:16:59,180 Sean, be reasonable. He saved us. 1660 01:16:59,380 --> 01:17:01,140 - We're lucky to be alive. - What are you talking about? 1661 01:17:01,340 --> 01:17:03,470 Listen to your woman. 1662 01:17:03,670 --> 01:17:04,980 - [yelps] - Oh. 1663 01:17:05,170 --> 01:17:07,740 It's okay. It's just a pressure point. Relax. 1664 01:17:08,290 --> 01:17:10,000 Just breathe into it. 1665 01:17:10,750 --> 01:17:11,870 What? 1666 01:17:13,500 --> 01:17:14,580 What? 1667 01:17:15,080 --> 01:17:16,440 Take us back down. 1668 01:17:16,640 --> 01:17:18,740 We'll finish the job ourselves. 1669 01:17:18,940 --> 01:17:20,420 - Babe. - What? 1670 01:17:21,630 --> 01:17:23,830 - Excellent idea. - Yeah, I know. 1671 01:17:24,030 --> 01:17:26,510 [screams] I have to do everything myself! 1672 01:17:29,310 --> 01:17:31,460 What are we gonna do? They'll be back any minute. 1673 01:17:31,660 --> 01:17:33,520 - Just... - [pirate 2] Hey, hey, hey! 1674 01:17:34,190 --> 01:17:36,860 No whispers. Or I throw grenade in the pool. 1675 01:17:42,950 --> 01:17:43,950 [whispering] Okay. 1676 01:17:44,660 --> 01:17:46,930 Go with me, okay? 1677 01:17:47,130 --> 01:17:48,280 Just go with me. 1678 01:17:48,990 --> 01:17:50,330 [in normal tone] Hey, everybody. 1679 01:17:51,540 --> 01:17:53,620 Look, I know this may not be the best time, 1680 01:17:54,830 --> 01:17:57,210 but this may be our only chance to have our wedding. 1681 01:17:59,000 --> 01:18:00,210 What do you say, Darcy? 1682 01:18:01,420 --> 01:18:02,870 Yeah, I... I love it. 1683 01:18:03,070 --> 01:18:06,470 Can... Can we do bride's side on the left and groom's on the right? 1684 01:18:10,100 --> 01:18:11,420 [all agreeing] 1685 01:18:11,620 --> 01:18:13,060 Hey, Margy, will you officiate? 1686 01:18:14,020 --> 01:18:16,250 [pirate 2] Hey, will you stop? Stop it! Stop it now! 1687 01:18:16,450 --> 01:18:17,710 [Robert] Wait, wait. If... 1688 01:18:17,910 --> 01:18:21,190 If you let my daughter have her wedding, I'll... I'll release the funds. 1689 01:18:28,200 --> 01:18:29,580 Okay, let's go. 1690 01:18:36,790 --> 01:18:38,040 Let's go. 1691 01:18:38,840 --> 01:18:40,040 Thanks, Dad. 1692 01:18:40,550 --> 01:18:41,650 It's okay, princess. 1693 01:18:41,850 --> 01:18:43,590 There are some things that are more important than money. 1694 01:18:44,720 --> 01:18:46,970 I don't know what they are, but I think, uh... 1695 01:18:58,980 --> 01:18:59,920 [Darcy sighs] 1696 01:19:00,120 --> 01:19:01,650 Hope you know what you're doing. 1697 01:19:07,860 --> 01:19:09,990 [Carol hums] 1698 01:19:15,120 --> 01:19:17,610 ♪ The strands in your eyes ♪ 1699 01:19:17,810 --> 01:19:20,530 ♪ They color them wonderful ♪ 1700 01:19:20,730 --> 01:19:24,880 ♪ Stops me And steals my breath ♪ 1701 01:19:25,550 --> 01:19:27,970 [both] ♪ Emeralds from mountains ♪ 1702 01:19:28,220 --> 01:19:30,580 ♪ Thrust from the sky ♪ 1703 01:19:30,780 --> 01:19:34,720 ♪ Never revealing their depth ♪ 1704 01:19:35,310 --> 01:19:37,140 ♪ And tell me ♪ 1705 01:19:37,640 --> 01:19:40,420 ♪ We belong together ♪ 1706 01:19:40,620 --> 01:19:44,930 ♪ Dress it up with the trappings of love ♪ 1707 01:19:45,130 --> 01:19:47,510 ♪ I'll be captivated ♪ 1708 01:19:47,710 --> 01:19:50,220 ♪ I'll hang from your lips ♪ 1709 01:19:50,420 --> 01:19:52,520 ♪ Instead of the gallows ♪ 1710 01:19:52,720 --> 01:19:58,020 ♪ Of heartaches That hang from above ♪ 1711 01:19:58,220 --> 01:20:03,610 ♪ And I'll be your cryin' shoulder ♪ 1712 01:20:03,810 --> 01:20:08,160 ♪ I'll be love's suicide ♪ 1713 01:20:08,360 --> 01:20:14,000 ♪ And I'll be better When I'm older ♪ 1714 01:20:14,200 --> 01:20:18,960 ♪ I'll be the greatest fan of your life ♪ 1715 01:20:19,160 --> 01:20:24,170 ♪ And I'll be your cryin' shoulder ♪ 1716 01:20:24,370 --> 01:20:28,970 ♪ I'll be love's suicide ♪ 1717 01:20:29,170 --> 01:20:31,890 - ♪ And I'll be ♪ - [Renata] ♪ I'll be ♪ 1718 01:20:32,090 --> 01:20:34,430 ♪ Better when I'm older ♪ 1719 01:20:34,630 --> 01:20:39,900 ♪ I'll be the greatest fan of your life ♪ 1720 01:20:40,100 --> 01:20:41,110 ♪ I'll be ♪ 1721 01:20:41,310 --> 01:20:42,880 [clamoring] 1722 01:20:43,420 --> 01:20:45,090 [Carol screaming] 1723 01:20:45,840 --> 01:20:48,030 - Whoa, whoa, whoa. - [cocks gun] 1724 01:20:48,230 --> 01:20:49,630 I think you'd regret that. 1725 01:20:51,430 --> 01:20:53,010 [all gasp] 1726 01:20:53,970 --> 01:20:55,540 [pirate 2] Oh! No, no. Stop. 1727 01:20:55,740 --> 01:20:56,710 I'm fairly new to grenades. 1728 01:20:56,910 --> 01:21:00,670 But I'm pretty sure that if you shoot me, this springy thing pops off, 1729 01:21:00,870 --> 01:21:02,630 and then this thing blows us all away. 1730 01:21:02,830 --> 01:21:03,960 - Ain't that right, babe? - That's right, baby. 1731 01:21:04,160 --> 01:21:06,230 - [pirate 2] No, no, no. - [woman] What the... 1732 01:21:06,730 --> 01:21:07,820 Drop the guns. 1733 01:21:10,320 --> 01:21:11,760 - [pirate 2] No. - [grunts] 1734 01:21:11,960 --> 01:21:14,030 [all screaming and clamoring] 1735 01:21:22,790 --> 01:21:23,860 [muffled screaming] 1736 01:21:24,060 --> 01:21:25,460 I can't throw that far. It won't reach him. 1737 01:21:27,380 --> 01:21:28,400 [cocks gun] 1738 01:21:28,600 --> 01:21:30,570 Nobody fucks with my family. 1739 01:21:30,770 --> 01:21:33,090 [rock music playing] 1740 01:21:43,310 --> 01:21:45,400 Darcy? Give me a meatball. 1741 01:21:45,690 --> 01:21:46,860 - [gun clicks] - Shit. 1742 01:21:50,030 --> 01:21:51,650 [all exclaim] 1743 01:21:53,570 --> 01:21:55,470 [all exclaiming] 1744 01:21:55,670 --> 01:21:57,660 [fireworks whistling] 1745 01:22:02,910 --> 01:22:04,190 I know where to go! 1746 01:22:04,390 --> 01:22:06,150 Let's get moving! Out of the pool! 1747 01:22:06,350 --> 01:22:07,530 - [Tom] Yeah! - Come on! Come, come, come! 1748 01:22:07,730 --> 01:22:09,050 [Darcy] Get out of the pool! Come on! 1749 01:22:11,590 --> 01:22:13,950 - [Tom] Yeah, let's go. - [Ace] Margy! The spa! 1750 01:22:14,150 --> 01:22:15,490 [Darcy] It's safe in the spa! 1751 01:22:15,690 --> 01:22:17,790 [Harriett] They should've been killing hostages every hour. 1752 01:22:17,990 --> 01:22:20,290 Killing people works, Sean. 1753 01:22:20,490 --> 01:22:21,920 - Fuck. - Look, give me one chance 1754 01:22:22,120 --> 01:22:23,000 to convince Darcy. 1755 01:22:23,200 --> 01:22:25,560 - All right? One. - Fine. One chance. 1756 01:22:27,310 --> 01:22:28,860 Thank you, baby. 1757 01:22:29,860 --> 01:22:32,070 This is not a moment right now, Sean. 1758 01:22:34,030 --> 01:22:36,160 - Move, come on! Come on! - [pirate] All right! 1759 01:22:37,370 --> 01:22:40,230 Mom! Mom, we're gonna go get help. 1760 01:22:40,430 --> 01:22:42,370 I need you to take care of them. Can you do that? 1761 01:22:45,120 --> 01:22:46,460 And Carol... 1762 01:22:47,710 --> 01:22:49,420 thank you for the cake knife. 1763 01:22:50,710 --> 01:22:52,450 I fucking love this cake knife. 1764 01:22:52,650 --> 01:22:54,300 [Carol chuckles] 1765 01:22:59,260 --> 01:23:01,720 ["No ordinary" by Labrinth playing] 1766 01:23:04,180 --> 01:23:06,520 It's just you and me now. Let's go. 1767 01:23:07,980 --> 01:23:09,230 ♪ Yeah ♪ 1768 01:23:10,730 --> 01:23:17,700 ♪ Yeah, me in awe of you now ♪ 1769 01:23:19,320 --> 01:23:20,660 ♪ Hmm ♪ 1770 01:23:22,080 --> 01:23:24,900 - ♪ This song call ♪ - ♪ Unconditional ♪ 1771 01:23:25,100 --> 01:23:28,480 - ♪ This show no devotion ♪ - ♪ Devotion ♪ 1772 01:23:28,680 --> 01:23:31,400 ♪ Got my heart so wide open ♪ 1773 01:23:31,600 --> 01:23:33,240 ♪ Lifting my spirit Like a Holy Ghost ♪ 1774 01:23:33,440 --> 01:23:36,120 - ♪ All this ♪ - ♪ All this love, love ♪ 1775 01:23:36,320 --> 01:23:40,180 - ♪ No ordinary love ♪ - ♪ Ordinary love ♪ 1776 01:23:41,800 --> 01:23:43,390 ♪ Yeah ♪ 1777 01:23:45,390 --> 01:23:46,750 ♪ La, la, la, la La-la-la-la ♪ 1778 01:23:46,950 --> 01:23:47,960 [phone camera clicks] 1779 01:23:48,160 --> 01:23:50,840 ♪ Ah, la, la, la, la La-la-la-la ♪ 1780 01:23:51,040 --> 01:23:52,970 ♪ La, la, la, la La-la-la-la ♪ 1781 01:23:53,170 --> 01:23:56,430 ♪ La, la, la, la La-la-la-la-love ♪ 1782 01:23:56,630 --> 01:23:58,930 ♪ La-la, la-la, la-la, la-la ♪ 1783 01:23:59,130 --> 01:24:02,030 ♪ La, la, la, la La-la-la-la ♪ 1784 01:24:03,330 --> 01:24:05,290 [imperceptible] 1785 01:24:17,420 --> 01:24:20,300 ♪ I need you in my arm ♪ 1786 01:24:20,630 --> 01:24:22,050 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 1787 01:24:24,140 --> 01:24:25,260 ♪ Hey ♪ 1788 01:24:30,020 --> 01:24:36,630 ♪ All this no ordinary love ♪ 1789 01:24:36,830 --> 01:24:38,390 ♪ Love, love, love, love ♪ 1790 01:24:38,590 --> 01:24:39,780 ♪ Yeah ♪ 1791 01:24:43,160 --> 01:24:44,950 [Tom] Hey, wasn't this the plan with too many steps? 1792 01:24:54,920 --> 01:24:56,250 You did this for me? 1793 01:24:57,760 --> 01:24:59,030 [Tom] Is this what you wanted? 1794 01:24:59,230 --> 01:25:00,760 Just you and me in the middle of the ocean? 1795 01:25:03,590 --> 01:25:06,000 Darcy, I'm sorry I stopped listening to you. 1796 01:25:06,200 --> 01:25:08,210 I just thought that if I planned the perfect wedding, 1797 01:25:08,410 --> 01:25:10,270 we could have the perfect marriage, but... 1798 01:25:11,060 --> 01:25:12,440 But that doesn't exist. 1799 01:25:13,060 --> 01:25:14,670 I mean, look at my parents. 1800 01:25:14,870 --> 01:25:16,980 My Aunt Marie, the sex addict. 1801 01:25:18,360 --> 01:25:21,610 I just wanna be with you. All that matters is you. 1802 01:25:22,360 --> 01:25:23,780 We don't ever have to get married. 1803 01:25:25,490 --> 01:25:27,410 And if we survive this thing, can we just... 1804 01:25:28,950 --> 01:25:30,200 Can we start over? 1805 01:25:32,500 --> 01:25:33,870 - [gunshots] - [Darcy screams] 1806 01:25:36,170 --> 01:25:37,500 [Tom] Go, go, go, go. 1807 01:25:37,920 --> 01:25:39,760 [Sean] Deedee, listen to me! 1808 01:25:40,420 --> 01:25:43,200 Deedee, this is a huge misunderstanding, all right? 1809 01:25:43,400 --> 01:25:47,710 Let's go back to the resort, talk this over. I do not want to hurt you. 1810 01:25:47,910 --> 01:25:49,330 Then stop shooting at us, asshole! 1811 01:25:49,530 --> 01:25:51,330 And stop calling her Deedee! 1812 01:25:51,530 --> 01:25:53,060 - [Darcy] Fuck! - Oh, Jesus! 1813 01:25:54,270 --> 01:25:55,730 This thing is awful! 1814 01:25:56,360 --> 01:25:57,900 [screaming] Yeah! 1815 01:25:58,230 --> 01:26:00,900 Asshole! Fuckin' leave! What the fuck? 1816 01:26:02,490 --> 01:26:05,530 God, I can't believe you, Sean! When did you turn into such a monster? 1817 01:26:06,160 --> 01:26:07,560 [Sean] I am not a monster! 1818 01:26:07,760 --> 01:26:09,020 I'm an entrepreneur! 1819 01:26:09,220 --> 01:26:10,560 I think I'm out of ammo. 1820 01:26:10,760 --> 01:26:12,080 - Are you sure? - Not at all. 1821 01:26:12,540 --> 01:26:13,620 Hey. 1822 01:26:18,750 --> 01:26:19,820 - Yeah. - [Sean] I don't wanna do this. 1823 01:26:20,020 --> 01:26:21,240 - [gunshot] - I'm a good guy, damn it! 1824 01:26:21,440 --> 01:26:22,820 [gunshots] 1825 01:26:23,020 --> 01:26:24,380 - [gun clicking] - Shit. 1826 01:26:24,970 --> 01:26:26,330 [Sean] Your boat's dead. 1827 01:26:26,530 --> 01:26:29,870 We're both out of ammo. Let's just go back and we can work this whole thing out. 1828 01:26:30,070 --> 01:26:31,390 [breathing heavily] 1829 01:26:34,520 --> 01:26:35,500 [grunts] 1830 01:26:35,700 --> 01:26:37,350 [both grunting] 1831 01:26:37,940 --> 01:26:39,630 [engine starts] 1832 01:26:39,830 --> 01:26:40,930 [Darcy] Tom! 1833 01:26:41,120 --> 01:26:42,280 [Tom grunts] 1834 01:26:44,450 --> 01:26:45,530 [Tom] Go, go! 1835 01:26:47,070 --> 01:26:49,160 [tense music playing] 1836 01:26:52,490 --> 01:26:53,540 [Sean yells] 1837 01:26:56,420 --> 01:26:58,460 [helicopter whirring] 1838 01:26:59,630 --> 01:27:01,630 [intense music playing] 1839 01:27:21,520 --> 01:27:23,320 Darcy, turn this boat around right now. 1840 01:27:24,740 --> 01:27:25,740 [Darcy] No. 1841 01:27:28,450 --> 01:27:31,060 You're a piece of shit, Sean, but I know you can't kill me. 1842 01:27:31,260 --> 01:27:32,200 You're right. 1843 01:27:32,740 --> 01:27:34,620 But I would love to kill this guy. 1844 01:27:35,120 --> 01:27:37,770 You just keep messing things up, man. This is on you. 1845 01:27:37,970 --> 01:27:40,880 I don't wanna do this. I'm a good guy. 1846 01:27:41,960 --> 01:27:43,300 No, you're not. 1847 01:27:44,090 --> 01:27:46,170 All right, you're right. I'm not. 1848 01:27:46,670 --> 01:27:47,740 [Darcy shrieks] 1849 01:27:47,940 --> 01:27:49,050 [Tom gasps] 1850 01:27:49,510 --> 01:27:50,830 - [engine revs] - [Sean screams] 1851 01:27:51,030 --> 01:27:53,060 [music continues] 1852 01:27:54,010 --> 01:27:55,560 [both grunting] 1853 01:27:58,060 --> 01:27:58,890 [whimpers] 1854 01:28:00,980 --> 01:28:02,150 Sean! 1855 01:28:04,980 --> 01:28:06,440 [grunting continues] 1856 01:28:08,280 --> 01:28:09,970 You were a pity invite! 1857 01:28:10,170 --> 01:28:11,390 - [Darcy grunts] - Shit! 1858 01:28:11,590 --> 01:28:13,280 Whoa! Whoa! 1859 01:28:19,580 --> 01:28:21,320 No! Fuck! 1860 01:28:21,520 --> 01:28:22,820 [groans] 1861 01:28:23,020 --> 01:28:24,670 [Sean and Tom grunting] 1862 01:28:28,050 --> 01:28:29,090 [Tom screams] 1863 01:28:33,890 --> 01:28:34,930 [yelps] 1864 01:28:40,190 --> 01:28:41,190 - [gunshot] - [yelps] 1865 01:28:46,730 --> 01:28:48,510 Is that a wad of loose hair? 1866 01:28:48,710 --> 01:28:50,100 [Tom] Custom-made hair! 1867 01:28:50,300 --> 01:28:51,760 [Tom grunts] 1868 01:28:51,960 --> 01:28:53,870 [heroic music playing] 1869 01:28:55,660 --> 01:28:56,910 [gasps] 1870 01:29:03,920 --> 01:29:05,000 [Tom laughs] 1871 01:29:06,300 --> 01:29:07,990 [intense music playing] 1872 01:29:08,190 --> 01:29:09,090 - Get down! - [screams] 1873 01:29:14,220 --> 01:29:15,390 Oh, frick. 1874 01:29:15,970 --> 01:29:17,350 [Sean screams] 1875 01:29:23,850 --> 01:29:24,860 [Tom] Hold on. 1876 01:29:30,690 --> 01:29:32,530 Oh, shit. 1877 01:29:34,780 --> 01:29:35,990 [Darcy shrieks] 1878 01:29:36,780 --> 01:29:38,370 [engine whines] 1879 01:29:44,670 --> 01:29:45,880 [Darcy gasps] 1880 01:29:47,420 --> 01:29:48,800 Holy shit. 1881 01:29:54,340 --> 01:29:56,760 ["No ordinary" by Labrinth playing] 1882 01:30:23,000 --> 01:30:24,710 So when I asked you before 1883 01:30:26,290 --> 01:30:27,500 if we could start over... 1884 01:30:30,340 --> 01:30:31,880 I don't wanna start over. 1885 01:30:43,230 --> 01:30:44,810 I wanna keep going. 1886 01:30:45,640 --> 01:30:47,650 [tender music playing] 1887 01:30:59,280 --> 01:31:00,740 Tom Fowler, 1888 01:31:01,790 --> 01:31:03,250 will you marry me? 1889 01:31:09,790 --> 01:31:11,000 Are you sure? 1890 01:31:12,920 --> 01:31:14,050 You're not scared? 1891 01:31:16,010 --> 01:31:17,890 I'm terrified. [breath trembling] 1892 01:31:19,140 --> 01:31:21,970 Life is always gonna be chaotic. 1893 01:31:23,930 --> 01:31:25,680 But what I know for sure... 1894 01:31:27,480 --> 01:31:30,150 is that I wanna go through all of it with you. 1895 01:31:32,900 --> 01:31:34,940 It's simple, really. [sniffles] 1896 01:31:37,070 --> 01:31:38,700 Just a plan with one step. 1897 01:31:48,460 --> 01:31:49,540 Still fits. 1898 01:31:55,880 --> 01:31:58,090 [sentimental music playing] 1899 01:32:09,650 --> 01:32:11,440 [Jamie softly] Stop. Be quiet. 1900 01:32:31,290 --> 01:32:32,920 [cheering and applauding] 1901 01:32:33,460 --> 01:32:35,740 - [firework exploding] - [all screaming] 1902 01:32:35,940 --> 01:32:38,030 Shit! Sorry! Sorry! 1903 01:32:38,230 --> 01:32:39,780 There was one firework left 1904 01:32:39,980 --> 01:32:41,910 and I thought it would be fun, and beautiful, and poignant, 1905 01:32:42,110 --> 01:32:43,620 - but it was absolutely not! - [laughing] 1906 01:32:43,820 --> 01:32:45,100 - [Margy laughs] - Come here. 1907 01:32:46,220 --> 01:32:48,600 [intro to "Walk Like An Egyptian" playing] 1908 01:32:54,150 --> 01:32:55,900 [fast-forwarding] 1909 01:32:59,950 --> 01:33:02,350 ♪ All the old paintings On the tomb ♪ 1910 01:33:02,550 --> 01:33:04,600 ♪ They do the sand dance, Don't you know ♪ 1911 01:33:04,800 --> 01:33:06,060 ♪ If you move too fast ♪ 1912 01:33:06,260 --> 01:33:07,140 [all] ♪ Oh-way-oh ♪ 1913 01:33:07,340 --> 01:33:09,230 ♪ They're falling down Like a domino ♪ 1914 01:33:09,430 --> 01:33:11,570 ♪ All the bazaar men By the Nile ♪ 1915 01:33:11,770 --> 01:33:13,820 ♪ They got the money On a bet ♪ 1916 01:33:14,020 --> 01:33:15,190 ♪ Gold crocodiles ♪ 1917 01:33:15,390 --> 01:33:16,320 [all] ♪ Oh-way-oh ♪ 1918 01:33:16,520 --> 01:33:18,160 ♪ They snap their teeth On your cigarette ♪ 1919 01:33:18,360 --> 01:33:20,160 ♪ Foreign types With the hookah pipes say ♪ 1920 01:33:20,360 --> 01:33:22,990 [all] ♪ Way-oh-way-oh ♪ 1921 01:33:23,190 --> 01:33:26,970 ♪ Way-oh-way-oh ♪ 1922 01:33:27,390 --> 01:33:30,710 ♪ Walk like an Egyptian ♪ 1923 01:33:30,910 --> 01:33:32,770 [all cheering] 1924 01:33:41,070 --> 01:33:43,510 ♪ The blonde waitresses Take their trays ♪ 1925 01:33:43,710 --> 01:33:45,600 ♪ They spin around And they cross the floor ♪ 1926 01:33:45,800 --> 01:33:46,850 ♪ They've got the moves ♪ 1927 01:33:47,050 --> 01:33:48,950 [all] ♪ Oh-way-oh ♪ 1928 01:33:50,370 --> 01:33:52,690 ♪ All the school kids So sick of books ♪ 1929 01:33:52,890 --> 01:33:54,900 ♪ They like the punk And the metal band ♪ 1930 01:33:55,100 --> 01:33:57,240 ♪ I do not know what to do ♪ 1931 01:33:57,440 --> 01:33:59,320 ♪ I drank so much Oh, my God, I'm sick ♪ 1932 01:33:59,520 --> 01:34:01,530 ♪ All the kids In the marketplace say ♪ 1933 01:34:01,730 --> 01:34:04,160 [all] ♪ Way-oh-way-oh ♪ 1934 01:34:04,360 --> 01:34:07,760 ♪ Way-oh-way-oh ♪ 1935 01:34:08,600 --> 01:34:11,040 ♪ Walk like an Egyptian ♪ 1936 01:34:11,240 --> 01:34:13,170 [all cheering] 1937 01:34:13,370 --> 01:34:15,770 ♪ I'm down For the way he feels ♪ 1938 01:34:17,560 --> 01:34:19,650 [instrumental break] 1939 01:34:24,400 --> 01:34:25,950 Whoo! 1940 01:34:54,480 --> 01:34:56,730 [whistling verse tune] 1941 01:35:02,530 --> 01:35:03,570 Make sure the batteries work. 1942 01:35:06,610 --> 01:35:10,530 I'm so sorry that I invited two con men to your wedding. 1943 01:35:11,120 --> 01:35:14,940 And I don't know if I'm attracted to toxic people, 1944 01:35:15,140 --> 01:35:17,120 or toxic people are attracted to me. 1945 01:35:18,040 --> 01:35:19,840 - [song ends] - [all cheering] 1946 01:35:28,300 --> 01:35:30,300 [instrumental music playing] 134337