Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,211 --> 00:00:04,046
MAXWELL:
Every now and again,
2
00:00:04,046 --> 00:00:09,259
the memories come flooding back
to the day I changed the world.
3
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:14,556
- Father, have you heard any news
of the Titanic's maiden voyage?
4
00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:18,060
"The unsinkable ship" they call it!
I sure hope it arrives safely in America.
5
00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:21,104
- Extry, extry!
The Titanic has sunk!
6
00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:23,232
1,500 dead in freak accident!
7
00:00:23,232 --> 00:00:25,067
All those innocent people!
8
00:00:25,067 --> 00:00:27,319
If only there was something
we could have done to save them.
9
00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:29,988
If not for the Red Hot Rule, we could...
10
00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:31,281
The Red Hot Rule?
11
00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:33,617
- Maxwell, did you know
that being in Australia,
12
00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:36,203
we're actually 15 hours
ahead of the USA?
13
00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:38,830
You mean, we're in the future?
14
00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:42,918
- Yes. Right now, in the Atlantic,
the Titanic has yet to sink.
15
00:00:42,918 --> 00:00:45,170
In fact, if you were to call and warn 'em,
16
00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:48,298
they'd probably have about...
five minutes to prepare.
17
00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:51,718
But we Australians have sworn
to never interfere with the flow of time.
18
00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:54,179
Violating the Red Hot Rule
is our greatest crime.
19
00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:56,014
Do you understand, Maxwell?
20
00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:57,766
[door closes]
Maxwell!
21
00:00:57,766 --> 00:00:59,518
Nooo!
22
00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:03,063
- Sir! It's a telegram
from the Australian future!
23
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:05,357
It says: "G'day mate. Stop.
24
00:01:05,357 --> 00:01:07,818
"Cobba, ya ship's about to crash. Stop.
25
00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:10,487
You have five minutes, I reckon.
Stop."
26
00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:12,948
- Crash? Why would we crash
in the next five minutes?
27
00:01:12,948 --> 00:01:14,950
We've already noticed
that iceberg over there.
28
00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:17,661
What could possibly put us
in such unexpected danger?
29
00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:18,912
I don't know, sir.
30
00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:21,915
But maybe we should hold off
on opening this cursed sarcophagus?
31
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,042
Ah. Yeah, I suppose you're right.
32
00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:25,711
Take it back down to cargo,
33
00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:28,046
and send Australia our thanks
for changing history, will you?
34
00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:30,215
- Father! I did it! I saved--
35
00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:32,634
Oh! Father?
36
00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:34,469
FATHER:
Take him away, Time Bobbies.
37
00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:36,847
I have no son.
38
00:01:37,306 --> 00:01:40,100
PRESENT-DAY MAXWELL:
I should have listened to my father.
39
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,728
How was I supposed to know about...
40
00:01:42,728 --> 00:01:44,021
her?
41
00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:45,522
♪ old-time music playing ♪
42
00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:48,609
♪ Hello, everybody ♪
43
00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:52,779
♪ I have come
to take you back with me ♪
44
00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:56,658
♪ To a land of liberty... ♪
45
00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:03,290
MAXWELL: She joined the army,
led America to victory in two World Wars,
46
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:06,793
and eventually was sworn in
as President Mummy.
47
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:09,421
One day, when signing a peace deal,
48
00:02:09,421 --> 00:02:13,675
she fell in love with
that commie bastard Brezhnev.
49
00:02:13,675 --> 00:02:17,554
They both abandoned their people
for a quiet life on the moon,
50
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:19,473
which left the world in chaos.
51
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:20,641
[glasses clink]
52
00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:25,854
Soon after, the bombs started flying
and America became a toxic wasteland,
53
00:02:25,854 --> 00:02:30,192
except for Hollywood, which broke off
and became a floating island.
54
00:02:30,192 --> 00:02:35,405
But I know the Americans
are still out there, biding their time.
55
00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:38,367
Waiting for the perfect moment to strike!
56
00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:40,327
Oooh!
[glasses shatter]
57
00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:45,249
And that's how I fucked up the future.
58
00:02:45,249 --> 00:02:47,292
♪ theme song playing ♪
59
00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:15,237
Koala Kode 2,040.
60
00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:19,950
Remember: if it doesn't have a collar,
it's not a shirt.
61
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,955
LIAM: I never realized
how amazing Americans are!
62
00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:27,708
Chad Wagon says every meal
comes with a side dish of freedom!
63
00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:29,209
Totally awesome sauce.
64
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,586
Liam, please.
65
00:03:30,586 --> 00:03:33,005
I only wanted to come
to this ridiculous novelty restaurant
66
00:03:33,005 --> 00:03:34,173
for your twin birthdays
67
00:03:34,173 --> 00:03:36,842
because I thought seeing how
America's lawless attitudes
68
00:03:36,842 --> 00:03:38,343
drove them to destruction
69
00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:40,262
would serve as a cautionary tale.
70
00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:41,763
- It's working.
This birthday sucks.
71
00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:43,056
Your plan backfired, Dad.
72
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:44,933
Now I see how boring Australians are.
73
00:03:44,933 --> 00:03:47,769
All we care about is footy
or sharks or whatever.
74
00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:49,980
Chad Wagon says Americans
solve most of their problems
75
00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:51,940
through illegal street racing.
76
00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:53,942
[sighs] I wish I were American...
77
00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:55,569
America blew itself up!
78
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:58,530
That's why all the Americans
have come here to a sensible country.
79
00:03:58,530 --> 00:04:00,490
Hey, everyone, ah...
80
00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:02,367
this is, uh... a robbery.
81
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:03,827
We're fuckin' robbin' youse.
82
00:04:03,827 --> 00:04:06,121
Yeah, give us ya cash or like...
83
00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:09,166
we'll fuckin' shank ya or some shit.
84
00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:10,709
Kevin, do something!
85
00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:13,212
- Yes, I'd say this is a job
for Koala Man--
86
00:04:13,212 --> 00:04:14,630
[engines revving]
87
00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:16,632
♪ Bon Jovi playing
"Raise Your Hands" ♪
88
00:04:16,632 --> 00:04:17,966
[tires squeal]
89
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:25,641
Oh, my God, it's Chad Wagon!
90
00:04:25,641 --> 00:04:27,726
♪
91
00:04:32,356 --> 00:04:34,525
♪ Out on the run, under the gun ♪
92
00:04:34,525 --> 00:04:36,360
He's perfect.
93
00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:37,945
I would have gotten here sooner,
94
00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:40,489
but parking, am I right, bro?
95
00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:45,327
♪ Raise your hands
when you wanna let it go... ♪
96
00:04:45,327 --> 00:04:48,413
- Can you pretty please teach me how
to be a fun, freedom-loving American?
97
00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:52,209
- I don't know. Do you have
what it takes to be mi familia?
98
00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:54,253
- Mi familia?
- Mi familia.
99
00:04:54,253 --> 00:04:57,422
The family you create when your real
family won't accept you for who you are.
100
00:04:57,422 --> 00:05:00,843
- Actually, Liam already has
a very accepting and Australian family.
101
00:05:00,843 --> 00:05:03,345
He doesn't need to be infected
with your American ideas.
102
00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:07,099
- Dude, I wouldn't listen to this guy.
He looks about 5' 7", max.
103
00:05:07,099 --> 00:05:09,101
See ya around, bro.
104
00:05:12,104 --> 00:05:13,605
[sniffing]
105
00:05:15,107 --> 00:05:16,775
[sighs]
106
00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:20,445
- Quiet down, you lot.
Big Greg has big news.
107
00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:24,116
I've just received word
that the Queen herself is coming to Dapto.
108
00:05:24,116 --> 00:05:28,453
Anyone wanna volunteer for the absolute
dog shit job of keeping Her Majesty safe?
109
00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:30,205
- Oh, I do! Me-me-me! Me!
110
00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:33,834
I have it on good authority that Dapto's
handsome and virile superhero Koala Man
111
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,127
would also like to be involved,
112
00:05:35,127 --> 00:05:37,254
uh, perhaps as a means
of demonstrating to his son
113
00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:38,630
just how cool Australians can be.
114
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,174
Yeah, yeah, don't care.
115
00:05:40,174 --> 00:05:43,635
One more thing-- 'cause there is fuck all
to do in this wonderful town,
116
00:05:43,635 --> 00:05:45,554
we'll be bringing forward
the Miss Sausage Roll Pageant
117
00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:46,972
so the Queen can crown the winner.
118
00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:50,517
Now, I know that this is last minute,
but I'm sure we can find some desperate,
119
00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:53,562
psychotic, unpopular losers
who want to be Miss Sausage Roll.
120
00:05:53,562 --> 00:05:56,064
Mum, I'm entering Miss Sausage Roll.
121
00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:58,567
But I need you to buy me a new swimsuit!
122
00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:01,111
I got my eye on this one.
It barely covers tit and slit.
123
00:06:01,111 --> 00:06:03,155
- Language!
And I forbid you from entering.
124
00:06:03,155 --> 00:06:06,783
- But, Muuum, if I win,
I get to meet the Queen!
125
00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:08,785
Not even Rosie Yodels has met the Queen!
126
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:10,454
I said no!
127
00:06:10,454 --> 00:06:11,663
You don't understand.
128
00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:14,041
You've been a solid five your entire life.
129
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,751
Oh, have I?
130
00:06:15,751 --> 00:06:18,879
[gasps] Mum? You were hot?
131
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:22,049
VICKY: I went after the Miss Sausage Roll
crown with everything I had.
132
00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:23,550
And I lost.
133
00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:26,428
All because of Saucy Simmons.
134
00:06:26,428 --> 00:06:30,724
Sure, she had a natural advantage,
seeing as she was a sausage roll,
135
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:34,144
but I figured, a naive little pastry
from the burbs wasn't a threat.
136
00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:37,397
But during the finals,
Saucy poured a bottle of vegetable oil
137
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:40,400
all over herself
as she did the Sausage Strut.
138
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,695
I slipped on her greasy trail and fell.
139
00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:45,531
And I saw her laughing.
140
00:06:45,531 --> 00:06:47,950
She wanted me to fall.
141
00:06:47,950 --> 00:06:50,369
That flaky, buttery bitch!
142
00:06:50,369 --> 00:06:53,121
- After I lost,
I didn't know who I was anymore.
143
00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:55,791
I went on a seven-year bender...
144
00:06:55,791 --> 00:06:57,167
made a lot of friends.
145
00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:58,293
ALISON: What about Dad?
146
00:06:58,293 --> 00:07:01,171
- [sighs] He insisted on calling it
a long-distance relationship,
147
00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:02,339
but we were on a break.
148
00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:05,467
After a while, I returned to Dapto
and married your father.
149
00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:08,929
But if not for Saucy Simmons,
I'd have won Miss Sausage Roll,
150
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,889
and everything would be different.
151
00:07:10,889 --> 00:07:12,140
Everything.
152
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:14,643
You're not entering and that's final.
153
00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:19,898
What are these, you ask?
154
00:07:19,898 --> 00:07:23,360
Only top-secret security plans
for the Queen's visit!
155
00:07:24,403 --> 00:07:25,487
Cool.
156
00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:29,074
- The Queen is coming to visit Dapto!
Why aren't you more excited?
157
00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:31,994
- I'd be more excited, but Mum's refusing
to train me for Miss Sausage Roll.
158
00:07:31,994 --> 00:07:33,787
For your own good, Alison.
159
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:36,582
- Ah, I remember
your Miss Sausage Roll days, Vicky.
160
00:07:36,582 --> 00:07:38,375
Some of those pictures
really sustained me
161
00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:40,961
through our seven-year
long-distance relationship.
162
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,713
Mmm! Yummy!
163
00:07:42,713 --> 00:07:47,301
I'm really enjoying
this authentic Australian meat pie,
164
00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:50,679
made with a native Australian animal.
165
00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:51,763
Needs ketchup.
166
00:07:51,763 --> 00:07:55,642
- Liam, in Australia
we say "tomato sauce."
167
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:57,936
- I just don't get why we can't
have fries like at Chad Wagon's.
168
00:07:57,936 --> 00:08:00,189
Chips, Liam! They're called chips!
169
00:08:00,189 --> 00:08:01,732
I don't even know who you are anymore!
170
00:08:01,732 --> 00:08:02,941
Maybe you never did!
171
00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:05,944
Now I know why I've never
fit in with other Australians!
172
00:08:05,944 --> 00:08:09,072
Because in my heart,
I've been American all along!
173
00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:10,616
That's what Chad says.
174
00:08:10,616 --> 00:08:13,368
That's right.
I went to see Chad after school today.
175
00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:15,329
- I don't want you
hanging around that man!
176
00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:18,123
- You may be my family
but you're not my mi familia.
177
00:08:18,123 --> 00:08:20,250
Chad says you wouldn't hide
behind a mask if you were.
178
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:22,002
You told him my secret identity?!
179
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,755
That's just... oooh, I'm very cross now.
180
00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:28,133
- Oh, and FYI:
tomato sauce is not awesome sauce!
181
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,010
[groans]
182
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,095
Chad Wagon!
183
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:39,144
- I just don't understand why Liam insists
on fraternizing with a lawless American.
184
00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:43,524
I can feel it in my willies,
this Chad Wagon is bad news.
185
00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:47,528
- Yeah, KM, what did we do to deserve
these Americans invading our shores?
186
00:08:47,528 --> 00:08:49,863
- No one could have known
the consequences!
187
00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:52,074
I just wanted to save the beautiful ship!
188
00:08:52,074 --> 00:08:54,785
- Oi, I think Maxwell's got a touch
of the old dementia, mate.
189
00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:57,996
No! Many years ago, I made a mistake.
190
00:08:57,996 --> 00:09:00,874
I violated the Red Hot Rule.
191
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,751
- What?! What are you talking about?
Keep your voice down!
192
00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:04,086
[laughs] Good joke.
193
00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:06,338
Are you fuckin' crazy, you old bastard?
194
00:09:06,338 --> 00:09:08,090
You want to get nicked
by the Time Bobbies?
195
00:09:08,090 --> 00:09:09,341
Already did.
196
00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:11,635
Spent 20 years in Time Jail.
197
00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:13,554
If not for me, President Mummy
198
00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:16,014
would have been at the bottom
of the sea on the Titanic.
199
00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:17,891
And everything that came after...
200
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,518
It's all my fault!
201
00:09:19,518 --> 00:09:24,147
Mark my words, if Americans are involved,
something terrible will happen.
202
00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:26,984
I'm leaving town!
You should too!
203
00:09:26,984 --> 00:09:28,944
[screaming]
204
00:09:30,696 --> 00:09:32,698
- All right then,
see ya tomorrow, Maxwell.
205
00:09:32,698 --> 00:09:34,324
Maxwell's right about one thing.
206
00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:36,869
This American is only going
to make things worse.
207
00:09:36,869 --> 00:09:39,663
Maybe it's time he had a chat with...
208
00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:41,456
Koala Man.
209
00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:44,543
AKA me.
210
00:09:46,587 --> 00:09:47,796
Hello, Mother.
211
00:09:47,796 --> 00:09:50,465
You'll never guess
who's entered Miss Sausage Roll.
212
00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:52,426
Saucy Simmons...
213
00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:54,261
Don't be absurd. She's far too old.
214
00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:55,804
...Junior!
215
00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:58,056
- She's got her mother's flakes,
I'll give her that much.
216
00:09:58,056 --> 00:10:00,184
And she's the heavy favorite to win.
217
00:10:00,184 --> 00:10:03,270
Unless someone were
to come along and defeat her.
218
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:06,190
- Alison, no.
You don't know what you're asking.
219
00:10:06,190 --> 00:10:08,692
- You need revenge.
I need to become popular.
220
00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:11,820
If you teach me,
maybe we can win this thing, together.
221
00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:13,906
[sighs] Very well.
222
00:10:13,906 --> 00:10:18,202
But just know, pageants turn
the sweetest women into monsters.
223
00:10:18,202 --> 00:10:21,288
- Mum, I'm a 14-year-old girl.
I'm already a monster.
224
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:23,790
I'm not talking about you, Alison.
225
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:26,835
[knife whooshes]
Time to train.
226
00:10:26,835 --> 00:10:28,128
Yes, Mum.
227
00:10:30,631 --> 00:10:31,882
[Chad sighs]
228
00:10:31,882 --> 00:10:34,551
CHAD: I wish you could have seen
America in the glory days.
229
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:36,428
It was paradise, bro.
230
00:10:36,428 --> 00:10:38,013
So, how did you end up in Dapto?
231
00:10:38,013 --> 00:10:41,016
- Once Hollywood became an island,
I knew America was finished.
232
00:10:41,016 --> 00:10:44,102
But I couldn't just
let American raditude die out.
233
00:10:44,102 --> 00:10:45,896
So I bought
the only ticket I could afford
234
00:10:45,896 --> 00:10:47,981
and came to Australia
and opened my restaurant,
235
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:51,443
where every day is red, white, and blue.
236
00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:53,445
- The Australian flag is also
red, white, and blue.
237
00:10:53,445 --> 00:10:54,696
But ours is better.
238
00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:56,365
Look, I'm not gonna lie to you.
239
00:10:56,365 --> 00:10:58,951
It isn't easy being
an American refugee, kid.
240
00:10:58,951 --> 00:11:01,370
I just wish we had
a real home here in Australia,
241
00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:02,996
somewhere we could call our own.
242
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,748
But the Queen will never go for it.
243
00:11:04,748 --> 00:11:07,209
That staunchy fuckin' bitch.
244
00:11:07,209 --> 00:11:10,087
- Maybe we just need to show her
how great the American way of life is.
245
00:11:10,087 --> 00:11:11,630
Dude! Killer idea!
246
00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:14,591
We should do a kickass car stunt for her
when she comes to Dapto!
247
00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:17,219
She'll be so impressed,
she'll have to listen to us.
248
00:11:17,219 --> 00:11:21,014
- That would be awesome sauce,
but security's gonna be super tight.
249
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:23,392
- Bro, doesn't your cuck dad
have security plans?
250
00:11:23,392 --> 00:11:25,143
You should totally get them.
251
00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:29,064
[whispering] So America can be reborn
in the ashes of Australia.
252
00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:30,607
- What's that?
- Nothing, nothing.
253
00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:33,735
Uh, just, thinking about, uh, hamburgers
and hot dogs and stuff.
254
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:37,030
- Oi, Mr. Wagon.
Hand over the boy.
255
00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:39,867
Aw, g'day, Captain Australia.
256
00:11:39,867 --> 00:11:42,327
Darn it, that's a good superhero name!
257
00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:44,454
No, resist his charm.
258
00:11:44,454 --> 00:11:49,251
In the name of Dapto and all that is good,
I command you to stop influencing my son.
259
00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:50,836
- Maybe I don't want to be
your son anymore.
260
00:11:50,836 --> 00:11:53,213
- Don't be ridiculous, Liam.
Get in the car.
261
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,924
- You want Liam?
You gotta race me first.
262
00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:58,177
From here to that bridge
is exactly a quarter mile.
263
00:11:58,177 --> 00:12:00,554
And I live a quarter mile at a time.
264
00:12:00,554 --> 00:12:04,224
- Correction: four hundred
and two point three meters at a time.
265
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:05,392
Pfft, whatever.
266
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:07,477
What matters is the winner gets Liam.
267
00:12:07,477 --> 00:12:09,188
Liam! This is insane!
268
00:12:09,188 --> 00:12:11,690
Sounds like your old man's scared, Liam.
269
00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:13,984
- Of course, he is.
He's Australian.
270
00:12:15,027 --> 00:12:17,487
Fine. Let's race, Yank.
271
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:19,239
[engines revving]
272
00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:29,041
Go!
273
00:12:29,041 --> 00:12:30,209
[tires squealing]
274
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:36,215
MASK: Kevin... wouldn't hurt
to go a bit faster, mate.
275
00:12:36,215 --> 00:12:38,717
- I can't, Koala Mask!
This is a 60 zone!
276
00:12:38,717 --> 00:12:40,135
MASK:
This is a race for our son!
277
00:12:40,135 --> 00:12:41,303
My son.
278
00:12:41,303 --> 00:12:44,973
Look, Chad may know how to drive fast,
but I know Dapto's roads.
279
00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:47,518
There's a speed bump coming up
and a traffic camera after that.
280
00:12:48,644 --> 00:12:50,395
He's going far too fast.
281
00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:52,481
If the bump doesn't get him,
the camera will.
282
00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:04,201
Nooo!
283
00:13:06,745 --> 00:13:09,206
Lawless American! You cheated!
284
00:13:09,206 --> 00:13:10,916
You lost, you little bitch.
285
00:13:10,916 --> 00:13:12,543
That was amazing!
286
00:13:12,543 --> 00:13:14,253
And now Liam's mine.
287
00:13:14,253 --> 00:13:15,879
Liam, you're not serious.
288
00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:18,590
[American accent]
You're not my mi familia, Koala Man,
289
00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:21,552
and now you're not my family either.
290
00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:25,472
You are Liam Wagon now.
291
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:27,516
I love you, Chad Wagon.
292
00:13:27,516 --> 00:13:30,269
Please, son, call me Dad Wagon.
293
00:13:30,269 --> 00:13:31,520
[tires squeal]
294
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,313
[Koala Man sobbing]
[horn blaring]
295
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:38,902
♪ rock music playing ♪
296
00:13:38,902 --> 00:13:41,029
♪ There comes a time ♪
297
00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:45,534
♪ When the world
is fighting against you ♪
298
00:13:45,534 --> 00:13:49,705
♪ You're feeling its weight
on your shoulders ♪
299
00:13:49,705 --> 00:13:52,749
♪ Crushing you into dirt ♪
300
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:54,585
♪ But there comes a time ♪
301
00:13:54,585 --> 00:13:58,547
♪ When you face your fears headlong ♪
302
00:13:58,547 --> 00:14:01,049
♪ Headstrong ♪
303
00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:03,510
♪ This is your moment ♪
304
00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,387
♪ Let's turn up the heat ♪
305
00:14:05,387 --> 00:14:07,556
♪ It's time to play ♪
306
00:14:08,140 --> 00:14:10,434
♪ Stand up and fight! ♪
307
00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:14,730
♪ Stand up and fight, yeah ♪
308
00:14:14,730 --> 00:14:16,231
♪ Stand up for what... ♪
309
00:14:16,231 --> 00:14:21,403
♪ Stand up for what is right ♪
310
00:14:21,904 --> 00:14:23,864
♪ Stand up and fight! ♪
311
00:14:25,199 --> 00:14:27,701
KOALA MAN:
Oh, Liam, sweet Liam.
312
00:14:27,701 --> 00:14:30,078
How I wish you were here to see this.
313
00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:33,081
No. I must focus on the task at hand.
314
00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:34,791
Protecting the Queen!
315
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:39,796
Oh, looky here, it's Slippy Vicky.
316
00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:41,340
Shut your face, Saucy.
317
00:14:41,340 --> 00:14:43,675
My daughter is going
to crush yours into porridge.
318
00:14:43,675 --> 00:14:46,887
- You need to let go of the past, Vicky.
It's actually embarrassing.
319
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:48,055
And the present.
320
00:14:48,055 --> 00:14:50,557
Your current life
is also very embarrassing.
321
00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:53,310
- I think our daughters' performances
will be the judge of that.
322
00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:55,229
With just two contestants left,
323
00:14:55,229 --> 00:14:58,982
it's time for the highlight of the event:
the Sausage Strut.
324
00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:02,194
- Alison, I just want to say, I know
there's bad blood between our mothers,
325
00:15:02,194 --> 00:15:03,737
but may the best person win.
326
00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:06,198
- You're not a person.
You're a fuckin' sausage roll.
327
00:15:06,198 --> 00:15:09,868
- Make some noise
for Saucyyyyy Juniooooor!
328
00:15:09,868 --> 00:15:12,412
[crowd cheering]
♪ funky music playing ♪
329
00:15:20,712 --> 00:15:22,464
Three nines from the judges!
330
00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:24,842
That savory girl sure is sweet!
331
00:15:24,842 --> 00:15:28,554
And now, put your oven mitts together
for the last finalist:
332
00:15:28,554 --> 00:15:30,722
Alison Williams!
333
00:15:30,722 --> 00:15:32,307
♪ funky music continues ♪
334
00:15:32,307 --> 00:15:33,725
- Uggh!
[Vicky gasps]
335
00:15:33,725 --> 00:15:35,352
Whoaaa...
336
00:15:43,318 --> 00:15:44,987
[crowd gasps]
337
00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:50,200
[cheering and applause]
[gasps]
338
00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:54,496
[cheering and applause]
339
00:15:54,496 --> 00:15:57,916
- Whooo! Fuck you, you lunch order slut!
In your face!
340
00:15:59,668 --> 00:16:01,253
[camera shutters clicking]
341
00:16:02,087 --> 00:16:03,255
[tools clattering]
342
00:16:03,255 --> 00:16:05,299
Dad Wagon, what are you doing?
343
00:16:05,299 --> 00:16:07,634
- Just making a few changes
to make your stunt a little more...
344
00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:09,428
memorable.
345
00:16:09,428 --> 00:16:11,889
[lock clicks]
D-D-D-Don't worry.
346
00:16:11,889 --> 00:16:13,682
Just a safety precaution.
347
00:16:13,682 --> 00:16:15,851
Now go make Dad Wagon proud!
348
00:16:15,851 --> 00:16:17,644
U-S-A! U-S-A!
349
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:20,147
BOTH: U-S-A! U-S-A!
350
00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:22,733
[tires screeching]
351
00:16:22,733 --> 00:16:26,528
- And now, here to crown
Miss Sausage Roll,
352
00:16:26,528 --> 00:16:30,741
the Queen of Australia,
Nicole Kidman!
353
00:16:30,741 --> 00:16:33,035
♪ fanfare playing ♪
[cheering]
354
00:16:33,035 --> 00:16:34,953
Hooly dooly, Dapto.
355
00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:37,539
It's a bloody honor to be here.
356
00:16:37,539 --> 00:16:41,251
- To think, there's my Alison
standing next to the Queen of Australia.
357
00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:43,003
[engine revving]
What's that?
358
00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:45,464
There shouldn't be
any cars within the perimeter!
359
00:16:47,049 --> 00:16:48,884
Alright, bit of shush now.
360
00:16:48,884 --> 00:16:52,804
Funny story, when I was little,
I thought I'd move to America
361
00:16:52,804 --> 00:16:55,349
and enter an arranged marriage
with a space messiah
362
00:16:55,349 --> 00:16:58,185
before settling into a series
of prestige television dramas
363
00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:00,270
where I'd play sad mums in cardigans.
364
00:17:02,314 --> 00:17:06,527
But after America fell, I decided
to stay here and become your queen.
365
00:17:06,527 --> 00:17:07,903
[cheering]
Pretty cool, huh?
366
00:17:07,903 --> 00:17:10,822
Anyway, congrats, Miss Sausage Roll!
367
00:17:10,822 --> 00:17:12,282
[revving]
368
00:17:12,282 --> 00:17:14,368
COMPUTER: Autopilot activated.
369
00:17:14,368 --> 00:17:19,498
Kill Queen, frame Liam,
reboot Australia into America 2.0.
370
00:17:19,498 --> 00:17:21,875
- What?
[tires squeal]
371
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:24,294
No, no, no no!
372
00:17:27,798 --> 00:17:29,758
Noooooo!
373
00:17:30,801 --> 00:17:32,052
WOMAN: [singing]
♪ ...everybody ♪
374
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:35,097
♪ I have come to take you back with-- ♪
375
00:17:35,097 --> 00:17:36,890
REPORTER:
Breaking news: the Queen of Australia
376
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:39,643
has just been grilled to death
on the hood of a race car,
377
00:17:39,643 --> 00:17:42,187
driven by a small boy,
who has tragically died at the scene.
378
00:17:42,187 --> 00:17:43,939
A muscly American man is claiming
379
00:17:43,939 --> 00:17:46,859
to be Australia's new leader,
and we're all kind of going with it.
380
00:17:46,859 --> 00:17:50,654
- Oh, no, Maxwell!
You mustn't change the past!
381
00:17:50,654 --> 00:17:52,447
REPORTER:
Anyway, we all live in America 2.0 now,
382
00:17:52,447 --> 00:17:54,825
and it's totally awesome sauce!
383
00:17:54,825 --> 00:17:57,786
- Ooh! Blasphemy!
To hell with the law!
384
00:17:57,786 --> 00:17:59,371
[line ringing]
385
00:17:59,371 --> 00:18:00,956
[whimpering]
386
00:18:00,956 --> 00:18:03,166
[ringing continues]
387
00:18:04,293 --> 00:18:07,713
Pick up, Koala Man, pick up!
388
00:18:07,713 --> 00:18:11,800
- To think, there's my Alison
standing next to the Queen of Australia.
389
00:18:12,384 --> 00:18:14,428
I wish Liam was here to see this.
[tires squeal]
390
00:18:14,428 --> 00:18:17,097
What's that? There shouldn't be
any cars within the perimeter!
391
00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:18,724
[phone buzzes]
392
00:18:18,724 --> 00:18:20,184
Hey, Maxwell...
393
00:18:20,184 --> 00:18:23,270
Oh, my God!
Thank you for warning me!
394
00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:26,648
Though you have broken the Red Hot Rule,
and I'm gonna have to dob you in, mate.
395
00:18:26,648 --> 00:18:28,442
Yeah, I'm gonna have to tell
the authorities.
396
00:18:28,442 --> 00:18:30,402
Yeah, you can't--
you broke the law, mate.
397
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:32,905
Yeah, it's alright. Okay.
398
00:18:32,905 --> 00:18:35,282
Yeah, no worries. See ya later.
Alright, bye.
399
00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:36,241
One minute.
400
00:18:36,241 --> 00:18:40,287
Time to save my son, Queen Nicole Kidman,
and all of Australia!
401
00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:41,705
QUEEN NICOLE KIDMAN:
Pretty cool, huh?
402
00:18:41,705 --> 00:18:44,750
Anyway, congrats, Miss Sausage Roll!
[applause]
403
00:18:44,750 --> 00:18:45,876
I did it.
404
00:18:45,876 --> 00:18:48,837
I'll be the most powerful girl
in school by tomorrow.
405
00:18:48,837 --> 00:18:51,882
I'm so happy.
This is the best moment of my life.
406
00:18:51,882 --> 00:18:53,759
[car revving]
407
00:18:53,759 --> 00:18:55,552
[thuds]
408
00:18:58,597 --> 00:19:00,724
Alison! The Queen!
409
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:05,229
[Saucy gasps]
410
00:19:05,771 --> 00:19:09,274
[screams]
411
00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:13,403
Agh! They've grilled my girl!
412
00:19:15,239 --> 00:19:16,782
No, no, no!
413
00:19:16,782 --> 00:19:18,534
Ahhhh!
414
00:19:18,534 --> 00:19:20,035
[panting]
415
00:19:20,035 --> 00:19:24,456
[screams]
416
00:19:24,456 --> 00:19:25,666
[lock clicks]
417
00:19:25,666 --> 00:19:28,919
Ahhh!
[explosion]
418
00:19:28,919 --> 00:19:30,295
[crowd gasps]
419
00:19:30,295 --> 00:19:32,214
[sizzling]
420
00:19:32,214 --> 00:19:34,258
Saucy Junior saved my life.
421
00:19:34,258 --> 00:19:38,220
She deserves to posthumously win
Miss Sausage Roll, not Alison!
422
00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:41,890
Oh, my God! No! I was so close!
423
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:45,936
[camera shutters click]
424
00:19:45,936 --> 00:19:47,938
A heartbreaking chain of events.
425
00:19:47,938 --> 00:19:53,026
If I may propose a moment of silence
for that brave sausage roll.
426
00:19:54,111 --> 00:19:56,613
Anyway, who's excited for the raffle?
427
00:19:56,613 --> 00:19:58,824
[cheering]
428
00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:02,286
[man running, panting]
429
00:20:02,286 --> 00:20:04,121
Son, what happened with the stunt?
430
00:20:04,121 --> 00:20:05,330
You were gonna frame me!
431
00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:08,166
- Sacrifices gotta be made
for the U-S of A, dawg!
432
00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:09,418
I thought you understood.
433
00:20:09,418 --> 00:20:11,837
We could've brought America back,
right here in Australia.
434
00:20:11,837 --> 00:20:15,424
America 2.0, bro.
All you had to do was kill the Queen.
435
00:20:15,424 --> 00:20:18,343
Hey, Chad, get away from my son!
436
00:20:18,343 --> 00:20:20,470
- Dad!
- Mr. Wagon,
437
00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:23,182
I demand you leave Dapto at once!
438
00:20:23,182 --> 00:20:25,350
- Or what?
You wanna race for it?
439
00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:28,937
- No. That's the problem
with you lawless Americans.
440
00:20:28,937 --> 00:20:32,774
You're brash, arrogant,
overmuscled buffoons.
441
00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:33,859
You can't say that to me.
442
00:20:33,859 --> 00:20:38,030
- I can say whatever I want to you
because of the First Amendment.
443
00:20:38,030 --> 00:20:39,198
[hisses]
444
00:20:39,198 --> 00:20:40,991
I realize now, to beat an American,
445
00:20:40,991 --> 00:20:43,785
I must understand Americans
and try to share my son's passion.
446
00:20:43,785 --> 00:20:45,787
And there's nothing you Americans
are more passionate about
447
00:20:45,787 --> 00:20:47,331
than freedom of speech!
448
00:20:47,331 --> 00:20:50,209
Isn't that right, you filthy... drongo.
449
00:20:51,376 --> 00:20:52,836
No, stop!
450
00:20:52,836 --> 00:20:55,297
- You bloody wanker!
- No, no, stop!
451
00:20:55,297 --> 00:20:57,549
- Knobhead!
- [high-pitched voice] No, no!
452
00:20:57,549 --> 00:20:58,759
No! Leave me alone!
453
00:20:58,759 --> 00:21:00,969
Chad! Was any of it real?
454
00:21:00,969 --> 00:21:03,347
Was I ever your... mi familia?
455
00:21:03,347 --> 00:21:06,642
- Liam, you'll always be my mi famil--
456
00:21:10,604 --> 00:21:12,022
Just desserts.
457
00:21:12,022 --> 00:21:14,691
- Sorry, Dad.
I don't know what came over me.
458
00:21:14,691 --> 00:21:16,652
[sighs] I understand, Liam.
459
00:21:16,652 --> 00:21:18,570
You fell under the spell of America.
460
00:21:18,570 --> 00:21:20,531
I did, too, when I was your age.
461
00:21:20,531 --> 00:21:22,282
But we're Australian, Liam.
462
00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:24,368
And we have to make the best
of what we have.
463
00:21:27,538 --> 00:21:29,498
LIAM: Can I still say "ketchup" sometimes?
464
00:21:30,582 --> 00:21:31,792
KOALA MAN: I'll think about it.
465
00:21:31,792 --> 00:21:32,918
[groaning]
466
00:21:32,918 --> 00:21:36,088
♪ fanfare playing ♪
467
00:21:36,088 --> 00:21:39,591
- Drop the charges, Time Bobbies,
he saved my life.
468
00:21:39,591 --> 00:21:41,927
C'mon, Maxwell, let's get you home.
469
00:21:41,927 --> 00:21:44,721
Oh, bless you, Your Majesty!
470
00:21:44,721 --> 00:21:49,142
♪ fanfare playing ♪
471
00:21:51,103 --> 00:21:53,063
♪ somber music playing ♪
472
00:21:53,063 --> 00:21:55,691
They really went all out for her.
473
00:21:55,691 --> 00:21:58,193
Alison, how are you feeling after losing?
474
00:21:58,193 --> 00:22:00,070
Do you feel like going
on a seven-year bender
475
00:22:00,070 --> 00:22:03,240
and settling into a life
of quiet desperation? Hmm?
476
00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:04,575
How do I feel?
477
00:22:04,575 --> 00:22:09,580
[laughing maniacally]
♪ ominous music playing ♪
478
00:22:09,580 --> 00:22:11,582
I feel fine, actually.
479
00:22:11,582 --> 00:22:12,708
Huh.
480
00:22:12,708 --> 00:22:16,712
I guess one disappointment doesn't have
to dictate the course of your entire life.
481
00:22:16,712 --> 00:22:20,799
Maybe things would have been
exactly the same even if I won.
482
00:22:20,799 --> 00:22:23,677
I would have ended up here anyway... Hmm.
483
00:22:23,677 --> 00:22:25,053
That coffin's empty, you know.
484
00:22:25,053 --> 00:22:27,139
They fed Saucy Junior to needy families.
485
00:22:27,139 --> 00:22:29,099
An Australian hero.
486
00:22:29,099 --> 00:22:30,350
Just like you, Dad.
487
00:22:30,350 --> 00:22:32,936
Hmm. I suppose I am.
488
00:22:35,397 --> 00:22:37,566
[thunder rumbles]
489
00:22:44,031 --> 00:22:46,450
Chad! Mi familia...
490
00:22:52,456 --> 00:22:57,336
President Mummy shall have her revenge!
491
00:22:59,588 --> 00:23:01,298
♪ theme song playing ♪
492
00:23:37,125 --> 00:23:38,794
♪ fanfare playing ♪
38316
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.