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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,403 --> 00:00:04,003 {\an2}How was your first day at the care home? 2 00:00:04,043 --> 00:00:07,043 {\an2}Amazing. I got to feed pureed casserole to an old man 3 00:00:07,083 --> 00:00:10,403 {\an2}with chewing difficulties. You know that feeling when you help someone? 4 00:00:10,443 --> 00:00:12,083 {\an2}Help someone swallow a casserole? 5 00:00:12,123 --> 00:00:14,283 {\an2}No, I don't. And I don't think I want to. 6 00:00:14,323 --> 00:00:15,603 {\an2}How are you getting home? 7 00:00:15,643 --> 00:00:18,483 {\an2}Just a tram, then a bus...then another tram, 8 00:00:18,523 --> 00:00:20,923 {\an2}but I'm happy to avail myself of Oldham's transport system. 9 00:00:20,963 --> 00:00:23,883 {\an2}It's extremely reliab... MUFFLED PA ANNOUNCEMENT 10 00:00:23,923 --> 00:00:27,283 {\an2}Oh, no, you didn't finish your sentence on the Greater Manchester Tram Network. 11 00:00:27,323 --> 00:00:29,763 {\an2}Might be the most boring cliffhanger ever. 12 00:00:29,803 --> 00:00:31,363 {\an2}All trams are cancelled. 13 00:00:31,403 --> 00:00:33,123 {\an2}I meant it when I said I could give you a lift. 14 00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:35,043 {\an2}And I meant it when I said, 15 00:00:35,083 --> 00:00:39,363 {\an2}"Thanks, but sharing a vehicle would be inappropriate." 16 00:00:39,403 --> 00:00:44,003 {\an2}Well, enjoy your four-hour walk home. It's the appropriate choice. 17 00:00:44,043 --> 00:00:46,043 {\an1}CHORAL SINGING 18 00:01:03,523 --> 00:01:06,243 {\an2}David! You came back. 19 00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:08,683 {\an2}Sometimes suffering brings growth. 20 00:01:08,723 --> 00:01:12,643 {\an2}Job was afflicted with skin sores, Jonah was eaten by a whale, 21 00:01:12,683 --> 00:01:14,403 {\an2}I... BEEP 22 00:01:14,443 --> 00:01:16,083 {\an2}..work in this delivery office. 23 00:01:18,043 --> 00:01:19,883 {\an2}I'm just so grateful that you're here. 24 00:01:19,923 --> 00:01:21,403 {\an2}Well, if you really want to thank me, 25 00:01:21,443 --> 00:01:25,083 {\an2}explain why this is in the medium pile when it's clearly under 500g. 26 00:01:25,123 --> 00:01:26,283 {\an2}Are you sure? 27 00:01:26,323 --> 00:01:29,643 {\an2}It's 495g, Sid. It's painful to me you can't see that. 28 00:01:30,803 --> 00:01:33,363 {\an8}BEEP Huh, close. 29 00:01:33,403 --> 00:01:36,923 {\an8}Nice to see even you can get a bit rusty! 30 00:01:36,963 --> 00:01:38,963 {\an7}HE BLOWS 31 00:01:39,003 --> 00:01:41,003 {\an7}BEEP 32 00:01:43,043 --> 00:01:45,963 {\an2}If the police stop us, promise you'll say you're not a kidnapping victim? 33 00:01:46,003 --> 00:01:47,203 {\an2}Joshua, don't make this weird. 34 00:01:47,243 --> 00:01:48,683 {\an2}I'm the one making this weird? 35 00:01:48,723 --> 00:01:50,883 {\an2}I'm not ashamed to be with you. 36 00:01:50,923 --> 00:01:52,603 {\an8}I'm ashamed to be seen with you. 37 00:01:52,643 --> 00:01:54,243 {\an8}Nothing offensive there. 38 00:01:54,283 --> 00:01:55,403 {\an8}Speedbump. 39 00:01:55,443 --> 00:01:56,883 {\an8}Oh! Sorry. 40 00:01:58,123 --> 00:01:59,363 {\an8}You got much on this week? 41 00:01:59,403 --> 00:02:02,883 {\an8}Well, it's my birth date on Friday, so...no. 42 00:02:02,923 --> 00:02:04,843 {\an8}Rachel, birthday. 43 00:02:04,883 --> 00:02:07,163 {\an8}In the real world, we say birthday. 44 00:02:07,203 --> 00:02:09,003 {\an8}No, birthdays are debauched. 45 00:02:09,043 --> 00:02:12,323 {\an8}Sure, it might look fun to have... 46 00:02:12,363 --> 00:02:15,363 {\an8}..presents and cake and loved ones, but... 47 00:02:16,683 --> 00:02:18,083 {\an8}Were you building to a point there? 48 00:02:18,123 --> 00:02:20,683 {\an8}On Friday, I will celebrate the right way. 49 00:02:20,723 --> 00:02:22,483 {\an8}By not celebrating. 50 00:02:22,523 --> 00:02:26,283 {\an8}And since I'm coming of age, I get to go to Abijah's special sermon. 51 00:02:26,323 --> 00:02:28,003 {\an8}Abijah's a special sermon? 52 00:02:28,043 --> 00:02:31,603 {\an8}It's a talk on relationships and courtship and... 53 00:02:33,363 --> 00:02:36,043 {\an8}Sex. Relationships and courtship. 54 00:02:36,083 --> 00:02:37,363 {\an8}Got you. 55 00:02:37,403 --> 00:02:41,163 {\an8}Well, if you're free Friday, you could always come to mine. 56 00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:44,603 {\an8}Unless not celebrating's going to take up your whole day. 57 00:02:44,643 --> 00:02:46,123 {\an8}Let me know. 58 00:02:48,163 --> 00:02:50,123 {\an1}WHIRRING, BEEP 59 00:02:50,163 --> 00:02:52,563 {\an2}Ah, wonderful. 60 00:02:52,603 --> 00:02:55,363 {\an2}Still working away, I see, 61 00:02:55,403 --> 00:02:57,683 {\an2}on your business. Mm-hm. 62 00:02:57,723 --> 00:03:00,603 {\an2}And that random power cut didn't break your flow? 63 00:03:00,643 --> 00:03:04,443 {\an2}You didn't interpret that as a sign from God to stop? 64 00:03:04,483 --> 00:03:06,483 {\an2}David, are you so scared of being direct with me 65 00:03:06,523 --> 00:03:09,443 {\an2}you'd rather trip the fuse box than tell me how you feel? 66 00:03:09,483 --> 00:03:12,323 {\an2}No! We just have a dodgy fuse box. 67 00:03:12,363 --> 00:03:14,243 {\an2}And the fact the kettle reliably trips it, 68 00:03:14,283 --> 00:03:17,003 {\an2}that hadn't crossed my mind. PHONE BEEPS 69 00:03:17,043 --> 00:03:18,923 {\an2}However, since I'm here... 70 00:03:18,963 --> 00:03:21,843 {\an2}Melissa's coming to look at stock tomorrow. David, if you want more 71 00:03:21,883 --> 00:03:26,203 {\an2}of my attention, how about you ask for it instead of holding me ransom to power outages? 72 00:03:27,683 --> 00:03:29,843 {\an2}I'm going to make a peppermint tea. 73 00:03:37,283 --> 00:03:40,003 {\an2}Oh, no! Did that get you? 74 00:03:40,043 --> 00:03:42,483 {\an2}I switched to the emergency power bank. 75 00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:45,403 {\an2}The one you got for the apocalypse. 76 00:03:45,443 --> 00:03:48,083 {\an2}So glad I bought that. 77 00:03:48,123 --> 00:03:49,883 {\an2}Thanks so much for approving this, Elder. 78 00:03:49,923 --> 00:03:52,003 {\an2}I can't wait to stir these young hearts. 79 00:03:52,043 --> 00:03:54,603 {\an2}Oh, I was against this, Abijah. Don't thank me. 80 00:03:54,643 --> 00:03:56,683 {\an2}Thank the 6-5 majority that voted me down. 81 00:03:58,283 --> 00:03:59,923 {\an2}You're not going to stay, are you, Dad? 82 00:03:59,963 --> 00:04:03,003 {\an2}Obviously not. It's a teenage sex education talk. 83 00:04:03,043 --> 00:04:04,963 {\an2}Why would I... Take a seat, please, girls. 84 00:04:05,003 --> 00:04:07,803 {\an2}This isn't just about intercourse, but how to make your relationships 85 00:04:07,843 --> 00:04:11,523 {\an2}rock solid when they might otherwise drift apart. 86 00:04:11,563 --> 00:04:14,563 {\an2}Maybe I'll stick around, make sure it's all above board. 87 00:04:14,603 --> 00:04:15,923 {\an2}First slide, please. 88 00:04:18,323 --> 00:04:20,323 {\an2}Uh-oh! HE CHUCKLES 89 00:04:21,683 --> 00:04:22,843 {\an2}Dream catcher. 90 00:04:22,883 --> 00:04:24,163 {\an2}Sacrilegious. 91 00:04:26,443 --> 00:04:27,923 {\an2}Cherub-themed candle holder. 92 00:04:27,963 --> 00:04:29,323 {\an2}Gaudy. 93 00:04:31,523 --> 00:04:32,843 {\an2}"Bread Of Life" chopping board. 94 00:04:32,883 --> 00:04:34,563 {\an2}Sacrilegious and gaudy. 95 00:04:36,683 --> 00:04:38,843 {\an2}Wait. These are like purity rings. 96 00:04:38,883 --> 00:04:40,723 {\an2}I could sell these to Order girls. 97 00:04:40,763 --> 00:04:44,603 {\an2}Don't know how I feel about burdening a whole wave of young women with sexual shame. 98 00:04:44,643 --> 00:04:46,523 {\an2}I could buy them for ๏ฟฝ2, sell them for eight. 99 00:04:46,563 --> 00:04:49,043 {\an2}Fuck yeah, do it. That's a 400% mark-up. 100 00:04:49,083 --> 00:04:51,683 {\an2}Yeah. My principles die in the low 80s. 101 00:04:51,723 --> 00:04:53,403 {\an2}Did you never think about kids? 102 00:04:53,443 --> 00:04:55,603 {\an2}Nah. 103 00:04:55,643 --> 00:04:59,123 {\an2}If I had kids, I'd just end up resenting 'em, 104 00:04:59,163 --> 00:05:00,603 {\an2}and they'd resent me. 105 00:05:00,643 --> 00:05:05,523 {\an2}And then years later, I'd find out they'd gone on some kind of spree. 106 00:05:05,563 --> 00:05:07,483 {\an2}There are no good sprees, Fiona. 107 00:05:07,523 --> 00:05:09,483 {\an2}It's easy to raise kids in the Order. 108 00:05:09,523 --> 00:05:11,763 {\an2}Our Elders are masterful educators. 109 00:05:11,803 --> 00:05:13,323 {\an2}Boys - 110 00:05:13,363 --> 00:05:15,483 {\an2}gross! Right? 111 00:05:15,523 --> 00:05:18,003 {\an2}Well, not according to God. 112 00:05:21,003 --> 00:05:23,083 {\an2}Interesting quotation there. 113 00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:24,763 {\an2}Buy myrrh... 114 00:05:24,803 --> 00:05:27,963 {\an2}Communion with the opposite sex is natural. 115 00:05:28,003 --> 00:05:31,843 {\an2}And if you need proof, check out this babe magnet. 116 00:05:31,883 --> 00:05:33,323 {\an1}HE CHUCKLES 117 00:05:33,363 --> 00:05:37,043 {\an2}In case you were wondering what Elder Samson got up to when he was still with the Prestwich chapter! 118 00:05:37,083 --> 00:05:39,123 {\an2}Those are my sisters. Only joking, Elder. 119 00:05:39,163 --> 00:05:40,843 {\an2}Hannah passed away last year. 120 00:05:43,483 --> 00:05:44,843 {\an2}Next slide, please. 121 00:05:45,923 --> 00:05:48,363 {\an2}But it's not just about finding a boy. 122 00:05:48,403 --> 00:05:50,283 {\an2}It's about finding the boy, 123 00:05:50,323 --> 00:05:52,603 {\an2}the one to share your first time with. 124 00:05:52,643 --> 00:05:54,843 {\an2}And by first time, he means kiss. 125 00:05:54,883 --> 00:05:56,723 {\an2}And by kiss, he means on the lips. 126 00:05:56,763 --> 00:05:58,923 {\an2}In case any of you are getting any ideas. 127 00:05:58,963 --> 00:06:02,083 {\an2}I have a question on behalf of my daughter. 128 00:06:02,123 --> 00:06:05,523 {\an2}Dad! If your partner's too busy with work, what should you do? 129 00:06:05,563 --> 00:06:07,563 {\an2}Well, you could try to respect her work. 130 00:06:07,603 --> 00:06:09,003 {\an2}Yeah. Keep going. 131 00:06:09,043 --> 00:06:12,243 {\an2}Why not make time for each other by planning an exciting date? 132 00:06:12,283 --> 00:06:15,683 {\an2}Obviously, the dating ideas from slide four are geared more towards teenagers. 133 00:06:15,723 --> 00:06:17,003 {\an2}Email me slide four. 134 00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:18,363 {\an2}I have a question. 135 00:06:18,403 --> 00:06:20,763 {\an2}Are there any other ways I can safeguard my virtue? 136 00:06:20,803 --> 00:06:24,083 {\an2}Well, girls, I'm going to go against the grain a little here 137 00:06:24,123 --> 00:06:26,803 {\an2}and say that now is the time for discovery. 138 00:06:26,843 --> 00:06:29,203 {\an2}Dating is just your journey to the one, 139 00:06:29,243 --> 00:06:31,323 {\an2}so let's open those minds. 140 00:06:31,363 --> 00:06:33,843 {\an2}OK, I'm shutting this down now. Remove yourself. 141 00:06:33,883 --> 00:06:35,563 {\an2}Apologies for that, girls. 142 00:06:35,603 --> 00:06:39,323 {\an2}So, the real take-aways from this are sex is for marriage, 143 00:06:39,363 --> 00:06:43,723 {\an2}dating is for marriage, and marriage is to be kept within the Order. 144 00:06:43,763 --> 00:06:47,843 {\an2}Non-Order members are your enemies, both personally and sexually. 145 00:06:47,883 --> 00:06:50,123 {\an2}Now, I'm going to pair you all up for ministry. 146 00:06:50,163 --> 00:06:51,883 {\an2}Hopefully an afternoon of preaching 147 00:06:51,923 --> 00:06:55,883 {\an2}will scour your brains of everything Abijah has just said. 148 00:06:55,923 --> 00:06:58,363 {\an2}Sister Lewis, you'll be with Sister Angeli. 149 00:06:58,403 --> 00:07:00,723 {\an2}Sister Edna, you'll be with Sister Clough. Dad, can we go? 150 00:07:00,763 --> 00:07:02,563 {\an2}I don't want to get paired with anyone intense. 151 00:07:02,603 --> 00:07:04,043 {\an2}Calm yourself, Rachel. 152 00:07:04,083 --> 00:07:06,963 {\an2}I'm sure this Sister Angeli is just as laid back as I am. 153 00:07:07,003 --> 00:07:09,243 {\an2}Hey, Sister, how long can you preach for? 154 00:07:09,283 --> 00:07:11,923 {\an2}I've got nowhere to be and boundless energy! 155 00:07:11,963 --> 00:07:13,243 {\an2}See? 156 00:07:15,603 --> 00:07:17,603 {\an2}Is this right? 157 00:07:17,643 --> 00:07:19,083 {\an2}We've fallen off my preaching map 158 00:07:19,123 --> 00:07:21,243 {\an2}and gone into the blank space around it. 159 00:07:21,283 --> 00:07:22,643 {\an2}Oh, my. 160 00:07:22,683 --> 00:07:25,883 {\an2}Would you say we're very far from the Order Church, Sister? 161 00:07:25,923 --> 00:07:28,203 {\an2}Yeah. 162 00:07:28,243 --> 00:07:29,923 {\an2}Great. 163 00:07:29,963 --> 00:07:30,963 {\an2}Hold. 164 00:07:37,043 --> 00:07:39,003 {\an2}God, I hate buckles. 165 00:07:39,043 --> 00:07:41,123 {\an2}It's Julia, by the way, not Sister Angeli. 166 00:07:42,883 --> 00:07:45,083 {\an2}And I'm fucking hungry. 167 00:07:45,123 --> 00:07:48,243 {\an2}# There's a light in my life 168 00:07:48,283 --> 00:07:52,203 {\an2}# Shining over me 169 00:07:52,243 --> 00:07:55,803 {\an2}# There's a light in my life # 170 00:07:55,843 --> 00:07:57,203 {\an2}# Shining over me... # 171 00:07:57,243 --> 00:07:59,563 {\an2}Should we be in here? 172 00:07:59,603 --> 00:08:03,163 {\an2}They've got magazines with foil on the cover. 173 00:08:03,203 --> 00:08:04,763 {\an2}This is disturbing. 174 00:08:04,803 --> 00:08:07,123 {\an2}It is disturbing - the idea you'd buy those 175 00:08:07,163 --> 00:08:09,283 {\an2}when there's porn online for free. 176 00:08:09,323 --> 00:08:10,923 {\an2}And the pictures move. 177 00:08:14,163 --> 00:08:17,243 {\an2}Here. This is for me. 178 00:08:17,283 --> 00:08:20,883 {\an2}That way I can eat one bar, claim there's summat wrong with the other, 179 00:08:20,923 --> 00:08:22,683 {\an2}still get a full refund. 180 00:08:22,723 --> 00:08:25,523 {\an2}Basically been recycling my 65p for... 181 00:08:25,563 --> 00:08:26,963 {\an2}Pfft. Half a year? 182 00:08:28,123 --> 00:08:29,803 {\an2}I should leave. 183 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:32,323 {\an2}Hey, hey, hey. I'm not the Antichrist. 184 00:08:32,363 --> 00:08:35,003 {\an2}He'd be more subtle. Just honest. 185 00:08:35,043 --> 00:08:37,603 {\an2}Jesus rewards honesty. 186 00:08:37,643 --> 00:08:38,923 {\an2}With Mars bars. 187 00:08:40,643 --> 00:08:42,163 {\an2}Well, can I have the other half? 188 00:08:42,203 --> 00:08:44,523 {\an2}Oh, Rachel. 189 00:08:44,563 --> 00:08:45,723 {\an2}No. 190 00:08:45,763 --> 00:08:48,403 {\an2}# Shining over me. # 191 00:08:48,443 --> 00:08:52,843 {\an2}My love, I've returned to make your day that little bit brighter. 192 00:08:52,883 --> 00:08:55,163 {\an2}You're literally blocking out my light. 193 00:08:55,203 --> 00:08:58,323 {\an2}So, I've been thinking, we haven't been on a date in a while. 194 00:08:58,363 --> 00:08:59,683 {\an2}Not since... 195 00:08:59,723 --> 00:09:03,363 {\an2}Well, not since we were paired together for our marriage meal with Elder Raab. 196 00:09:03,403 --> 00:09:05,883 {\an2}David, he chaperoned us the whole time. 197 00:09:05,923 --> 00:09:08,603 {\an2}You put your hand on my knee and he accused you of "infidelitas." 198 00:09:08,643 --> 00:09:10,923 {\an2}I don't think that qualifies as a date. 199 00:09:10,963 --> 00:09:12,403 {\an2}The only date I've been on 200 00:09:12,443 --> 00:09:15,883 {\an2}is when the Elders nearly paired me with Andrew 18 years ago. 201 00:09:15,923 --> 00:09:18,763 {\an2}Well, let's move away from the more loathsome corners of history 202 00:09:18,803 --> 00:09:20,283 {\an2}and focus on the present. 203 00:09:20,323 --> 00:09:23,203 {\an2}What better way to celebrate our 18 years together 204 00:09:23,243 --> 00:09:25,563 {\an2}than with our...well, our first date? 205 00:09:26,843 --> 00:09:28,643 {\an2}Abijah's had some ideas. 206 00:09:29,923 --> 00:09:32,323 {\an2}I've eliminated skatepark and Laser Quest, 207 00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:34,323 {\an2}but we could go to a silent disco. 208 00:09:34,363 --> 00:09:35,683 {\an2}Before you say it's too raucous, 209 00:09:35,723 --> 00:09:37,843 {\an2}remember, we don't have to put the headphones on. 210 00:09:37,883 --> 00:09:41,323 {\an2}How about we go to that noodle bar on Well Street? 211 00:09:41,363 --> 00:09:43,123 {\an2}Cuisine from Japan? 212 00:09:43,163 --> 00:09:45,923 {\an2}Fiona, the furthest I've been from Greater Manchester is Guernsey. 213 00:09:45,963 --> 00:09:48,203 {\an2}You expect my taste buds to cross whole continents? 214 00:09:48,243 --> 00:09:49,723 {\an2}David, here's what I really need - 215 00:09:49,763 --> 00:09:52,043 {\an2}streamlined website, cashless transactions, 216 00:09:52,083 --> 00:09:53,923 {\an2}and for you to show my work some respect. 217 00:09:53,963 --> 00:09:55,843 {\an2}Oh, there's that word again. 218 00:09:55,883 --> 00:09:58,843 {\an2}I respect your work all the time. 219 00:09:58,883 --> 00:10:00,163 {\an2}For instance... 220 00:10:00,203 --> 00:10:02,523 {\an2}Fiona, I would like to buy a bag. 221 00:10:02,563 --> 00:10:06,123 {\an2}I already gave you a bag! You haven't used it once. 222 00:10:06,163 --> 00:10:08,563 {\an2}Can I ask you to do one practical thing for me? 223 00:10:08,603 --> 00:10:10,163 {\an2}Anything, Fiona. Wait. 224 00:10:10,203 --> 00:10:11,923 {\an2}Tell me what it is. I might not want to do it. 225 00:10:11,963 --> 00:10:14,403 {\an2}Arrange childcare for Aaron. He's on half-term. 226 00:10:14,443 --> 00:10:16,243 {\an2}And let me process my orders. 227 00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:17,443 {\an2}Sure, I'm free. 228 00:10:17,483 --> 00:10:20,123 {\an2}Don't you have a delivery office shift? 229 00:10:20,163 --> 00:10:22,523 {\an2}Aaron, you're coming to work with me today. 230 00:10:22,563 --> 00:10:24,403 {\an2}OK, Dad. 231 00:10:24,443 --> 00:10:26,083 {\an2}Childcare sorted. 232 00:10:26,123 --> 00:10:29,483 {\an2}You know what Elder Samson said today? 233 00:10:29,523 --> 00:10:34,123 {\an2}Would you ever date anyone who wasn't in the Order? 234 00:10:34,163 --> 00:10:36,603 {\an2}I only date people who aren't in the Order. 235 00:10:36,643 --> 00:10:38,683 {\an2}Have you seen the Order boys? 236 00:10:38,723 --> 00:10:41,643 {\an2}They've all got names like Jeremiah. 237 00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:44,883 {\an2}And they only lost about ten seconds. They last ten seconds? 238 00:10:44,923 --> 00:10:47,683 {\an2}I'll tell you when you're older. 239 00:10:47,723 --> 00:10:49,763 {\an2}But how do you make it work with the rules? 240 00:10:49,803 --> 00:10:53,803 {\an2}There's this guy who wants to hang out with me on Friday. 241 00:10:53,843 --> 00:10:56,643 {\an2}Do what all functional religious people do - 242 00:10:56,683 --> 00:10:59,123 {\an2}contrive a loophole. 243 00:10:59,163 --> 00:11:01,403 {\an2}You're not dating. You're... 244 00:11:01,443 --> 00:11:04,803 {\an2}..bringing him into the faith. So, make peace with that. 245 00:11:05,883 --> 00:11:07,083 {\an2}Enjoy it. 246 00:11:07,123 --> 00:11:08,803 {\an2}OK. Right. 247 00:11:10,923 --> 00:11:14,443 {\an2}Rachel, will you get over here and spin me? 248 00:11:14,483 --> 00:11:16,723 {\an2}And put your back into it. 249 00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:18,403 {\an2}I wanna feel the Gs. 250 00:11:24,963 --> 00:11:27,563 {\an2}This is it, Aaron, my seat of command, 251 00:11:27,603 --> 00:11:30,203 {\an2}the nexus from which all packages stream. 252 00:11:30,243 --> 00:11:32,163 {\an2}Cool. Um, David? 253 00:11:32,203 --> 00:11:35,043 {\an2}David, I'm not sure I'm comfortable with you bringing your son here. 254 00:11:35,083 --> 00:11:38,643 {\an2}OK, Sid, why don't you show me the rule that says I can't make my 12-year-old son work? 255 00:11:38,683 --> 00:11:40,483 {\an2}Child Labour Act of 1933? 256 00:11:42,003 --> 00:11:43,923 {\an2}So you're gonna want to start by grabbing a pack... 257 00:11:43,963 --> 00:11:45,603 {\an1}BEEP 258 00:11:45,643 --> 00:11:48,203 {\an2}Aaron, your zeal is infectious, 259 00:11:48,243 --> 00:11:50,243 {\an2}but that's the trolley for out-of-county shipping. 260 00:11:50,283 --> 00:11:52,803 {\an2}It is out of county. It was in the wrong pile. 261 00:11:52,843 --> 00:11:54,763 {\an2}How did you know this was a Berkshire postcode? 262 00:11:54,803 --> 00:11:57,283 {\an2}It just felt right. 263 00:11:57,323 --> 00:11:59,363 {\an2}Samson's mane! 264 00:11:59,403 --> 00:12:00,683 {\an2}My seed is strong. 265 00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:03,043 {\an2}Maybe I will let him stay. 266 00:12:04,603 --> 00:12:05,963 {\an2}RACHEL: Whilst we talk here, 267 00:12:06,003 --> 00:12:08,123 {\an2}I'm already stressing about replying to this guy, 268 00:12:08,163 --> 00:12:10,523 {\an2}and the spinning is making it worse. 269 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:14,323 {\an2}Hmm. The more nauseous you get, the more centred I feel. 270 00:12:15,363 --> 00:12:17,363 {\an1}PHONE RINGS 271 00:12:19,843 --> 00:12:21,683 {\an2}RACHEL GASPS Oh, my gosh! 272 00:12:21,723 --> 00:12:24,003 {\an2}Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. It's him. 273 00:12:24,043 --> 00:12:26,603 {\an2}It's him. OK, so answer. 274 00:12:26,643 --> 00:12:27,923 {\an2}Now, in front of me. 275 00:12:27,963 --> 00:12:31,003 {\an2}Without peer pressure, you risk making a responsible decision. 276 00:12:32,883 --> 00:12:34,803 {\an2}Hello? Hello. 277 00:12:34,843 --> 00:12:38,243 {\an2}Hey! It was fun having you crammed in my footwell yesterday. 278 00:12:38,283 --> 00:12:39,403 {\an2}Yeah. 279 00:12:39,443 --> 00:12:40,923 {\an2}Yes. Fun. 280 00:12:40,963 --> 00:12:43,163 {\an2}So, have you made a decision about Friday? 281 00:12:43,203 --> 00:12:45,043 {\an2}No pressure or anything. I just wanted to... Um... 282 00:12:45,083 --> 00:12:47,443 {\an2}Friday, I have Bible study. 283 00:12:47,483 --> 00:12:48,683 {\an2}Could you move it? 284 00:12:48,723 --> 00:12:50,763 {\an2}SHE MOUTHS Um... 285 00:12:50,803 --> 00:12:52,003 {\an2}Maybe. 286 00:12:52,043 --> 00:12:53,923 {\an2}Cool. I think you know my address. 287 00:12:53,963 --> 00:12:56,323 {\an2}You ran off from it in a rage like three weeks ago. 288 00:12:56,363 --> 00:12:58,483 {\an2}She wants to show you her burning bush! 289 00:12:58,523 --> 00:13:01,083 {\an2}Figured you'd yell something, so I hung up early. 290 00:13:01,123 --> 00:13:02,883 {\an2}Wait. Why is it burning? 291 00:13:02,923 --> 00:13:04,763 {\an2}You tell me, Rachel. 292 00:13:04,803 --> 00:13:06,563 {\an2}You tell me. 293 00:13:06,603 --> 00:13:09,363 {\an2}I'm wondering if I should get your mother a gift. Mm-hm. 294 00:13:09,403 --> 00:13:10,723 {\an2}Surcharge sticker. 295 00:13:13,803 --> 00:13:16,443 {\an2}I could finally give her that recording of my Bible reading. 296 00:13:16,483 --> 00:13:18,603 {\an2}I've got as far as Exodus. And the energy I brought 297 00:13:18,643 --> 00:13:21,843 {\an2}to the parting of the Red Sea surprised even me. 298 00:13:21,883 --> 00:13:23,203 {\an2}Doesn't that sound good? 299 00:13:23,243 --> 00:13:26,243 {\an2}A gift that lets her hear me at full volume any time at all? 300 00:13:26,283 --> 00:13:28,683 {\an2}I guess just make sure it's not something... 301 00:13:28,723 --> 00:13:30,923 {\an2}..possessive. Could get her a bracelet. 302 00:13:30,963 --> 00:13:32,923 {\an2}OK. And engrave it to say, 303 00:13:32,963 --> 00:13:36,083 {\an2}"David's. Only David's." Hmm... 304 00:13:36,123 --> 00:13:38,403 {\an2}I think Mum wants to know that you care about her work. 305 00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:41,523 {\an2}Why do you think I work here all day completely unappreciated? 306 00:13:41,563 --> 00:13:44,403 {\an2}David, you're my idol. 307 00:13:44,443 --> 00:13:47,123 {\an2}I've offered to give you my job multiple times. 308 00:13:47,163 --> 00:13:48,803 {\an2}Totally thankless. 309 00:13:48,843 --> 00:13:50,843 {\an2}Just think about it. 310 00:13:50,883 --> 00:13:52,283 {\an2}Whoa there! 311 00:13:52,323 --> 00:13:54,563 {\an2}That's not enough postage for a 600g package. 312 00:13:54,603 --> 00:13:56,843 {\an2}It's 585g, Dad. 313 00:13:56,883 --> 00:13:58,963 {\an2}Are you sure? Because... 314 00:14:02,443 --> 00:14:04,843 {\an2}I'm just slowing you down, Aaron. 315 00:14:04,883 --> 00:14:06,883 {\an1}HE EXHALES 316 00:14:08,603 --> 00:14:10,803 {\an2}It's a privilege to watch. 317 00:14:10,843 --> 00:14:12,923 {\an2}Will his parents be there? 318 00:14:12,963 --> 00:14:15,123 {\an2}No. Nice. 319 00:14:15,163 --> 00:14:17,643 {\an2}You're definitely going to bang. 320 00:14:17,683 --> 00:14:19,883 {\an2}What? 321 00:14:19,923 --> 00:14:22,923 {\an2}I'm exaggerating. You're too uptight for that. 322 00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:25,163 {\an2}You'll probably just snog each other 323 00:14:25,203 --> 00:14:28,403 {\an2}long past the point where it's enjoyable. 324 00:14:28,443 --> 00:14:29,603 {\an2}I can't go. I... 325 00:14:29,643 --> 00:14:32,843 {\an2}I can't go. I'm going to tell him that I can't skip Bible study. 326 00:14:32,883 --> 00:14:34,723 {\an2}You're going to skip Bible study, 327 00:14:34,763 --> 00:14:36,443 {\an2}and I'm going to cover for you. 328 00:14:38,443 --> 00:14:39,723 {\an2}Really? 329 00:14:40,803 --> 00:14:42,803 {\an2}You'd do that for me? 330 00:14:42,843 --> 00:14:45,963 {\an2}Of course. Your relationship stories are already tepid. 331 00:14:46,003 --> 00:14:47,723 {\an2}Do not take a step back. 332 00:14:49,763 --> 00:14:52,483 {\an2}Knockety-knock! 333 00:14:52,523 --> 00:14:56,363 {\an2}It's OK, Fiona. I haven't sabotaged the power on this occasion. 334 00:14:56,403 --> 00:14:57,923 {\an2}Or any other occasion. 335 00:14:57,963 --> 00:14:59,243 {\an2}What is it, David? 336 00:15:00,603 --> 00:15:02,283 {\an2}I bought you something. 337 00:15:04,163 --> 00:15:06,443 {\an2}David, I'm not sure I want any of your gifts right now. 338 00:15:06,483 --> 00:15:10,043 {\an2}The last time you gave me something, it was a locket of my hair you'd taken without my knowledge. 339 00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:11,683 {\an2}Collected from your pillow, Fiona. 340 00:15:11,723 --> 00:15:14,403 {\an2}I didn't use scissors. That would have crossed a line. 341 00:15:18,723 --> 00:15:20,083 {\an2}It's a card reader. 342 00:15:21,403 --> 00:15:23,483 {\an2}I actually need this. I'm... 343 00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:25,563 {\an2}I'm going to use this. 344 00:15:25,603 --> 00:15:27,643 {\an2}I'm going to use one of your gifts for the first time. 345 00:15:27,683 --> 00:15:30,043 {\an2}Come now, what about that feminine shaver I bought you? 346 00:15:30,083 --> 00:15:32,643 {\an2}For the first time, David. BEEP 347 00:15:32,683 --> 00:15:35,243 {\an2}Oh, my chastity rings have sold out. 348 00:15:35,283 --> 00:15:37,643 {\an2}Parents are panicking about Abijah's sex talk. 349 00:15:39,243 --> 00:15:41,003 {\an2}And I'm taking that panic to the bank. 350 00:15:41,043 --> 00:15:43,563 {\an2}Do you want to go to the noodle bar? 351 00:15:43,603 --> 00:15:46,243 {\an2}We could ask Melissa to babysit. Melissa? 352 00:15:46,283 --> 00:15:47,763 {\an2}An outsider? 353 00:15:47,803 --> 00:15:49,483 {\an2}An intruder in my sacred grove? 354 00:15:52,603 --> 00:15:53,803 {\an2}Yes. 355 00:15:53,843 --> 00:15:55,163 {\an2}Sounds good. 356 00:15:56,643 --> 00:15:58,243 {\an2}Oh. 357 00:16:05,323 --> 00:16:07,163 {\an2}You're looking very smart, Aaron. 358 00:16:07,203 --> 00:16:10,363 {\an2}This is, at best, smart casual. I'm not even wearing a tie. 359 00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:13,043 {\an2}So, what you want to do? TV? 360 00:16:13,083 --> 00:16:14,403 {\an2}Ice cream? 361 00:16:16,483 --> 00:16:18,883 {\an2}Vandalise your dad's stuff? I'm cool with all of that. 362 00:16:18,923 --> 00:16:20,963 {\an2}I'm going to draw religious imagery. 363 00:16:21,003 --> 00:16:22,483 {\an2}Yeah? 364 00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:23,843 {\an2}That fun, is it? 365 00:16:23,883 --> 00:16:28,163 {\an2}Using my pencils for the glory of God? What could be more fun? 366 00:16:28,203 --> 00:16:30,363 {\an2}You're a really weird kid, Aaron. 367 00:16:31,483 --> 00:16:32,723 {\an2}Kinda like you, though. 368 00:16:32,763 --> 00:16:34,523 {\an2}Thank you, Melissa. 369 00:16:34,563 --> 00:16:37,123 {\an2}I'm still forming my opinion of you. 370 00:16:39,723 --> 00:16:42,323 {\an2}My menu is my place mat? 371 00:16:42,363 --> 00:16:44,923 {\an2}Well, if you wanted to blow my mind, you've succeeded. 372 00:16:44,963 --> 00:16:47,283 {\an2}I'll have the rice bowl. David? 373 00:16:47,323 --> 00:16:49,923 {\an2}I feel like I'm on a culinary odyssey. 374 00:16:49,963 --> 00:16:54,683 {\an2}Tell me, waiter, this so-called ramen, is it noodles or is it soup? 375 00:16:54,723 --> 00:16:56,363 {\an2}It's noodles in soup. 376 00:16:57,883 --> 00:16:59,283 {\an2}I'm going to need more time. 377 00:17:00,843 --> 00:17:04,083 {\an2}And why, pray tell, would I choose to eat seaweed? 378 00:17:04,123 --> 00:17:05,803 {\an1}KEYPAD BEEPS 379 00:17:05,843 --> 00:17:07,843 {\an1}INTERCOM RINGS 380 00:17:07,883 --> 00:17:09,963 {\an2}Come on up. I hope you're ready. 381 00:17:10,003 --> 00:17:12,003 {\an1}BEEP 382 00:17:14,043 --> 00:17:16,043 {\an2}SHE KNOCKS Hello? 383 00:17:16,083 --> 00:17:18,403 {\an1}SOUL MUSIC PLAYS 384 00:17:18,443 --> 00:17:19,523 {\an2}Hello? 385 00:17:19,563 --> 00:17:21,363 {\an2}Don't come in. Oh. 386 00:17:21,403 --> 00:17:23,243 {\an2}Just finishing some stuff. 387 00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:28,483 {\an2}Why are all the lights dimmed? 388 00:17:28,523 --> 00:17:30,403 {\an2}To set the mood. 389 00:17:30,443 --> 00:17:32,083 {\an2}It's a special evening. 390 00:17:34,083 --> 00:17:36,923 {\an2}Now, traditionally, for this next bit, you need to close your eyes. 391 00:17:39,163 --> 00:17:40,363 {\an2}Close my eyes? 392 00:17:40,403 --> 00:17:41,763 {\an2}Yeah. 393 00:17:44,963 --> 00:17:46,163 {\an2}Are they closed? 394 00:17:46,203 --> 00:17:47,403 {\an2}Mm-hm. 395 00:17:53,643 --> 00:17:55,083 {\an2}Stick out your hands. 396 00:17:59,243 --> 00:18:01,763 {\an2}Come on, this way. 397 00:18:01,803 --> 00:18:03,923 {\an2}There you go. 398 00:18:03,963 --> 00:18:06,843 {\an2}HIGH-PITCHED: Look, I'm not ready to bang, OK? 399 00:18:06,883 --> 00:18:08,483 {\an2}Bang? 400 00:18:08,523 --> 00:18:11,643 {\an2}Wow. Let's park that red flag for a sec. 401 00:18:13,763 --> 00:18:16,163 {\an1}SHE GASPS 402 00:18:16,203 --> 00:18:20,243 {\an2}This is what a week's worth of dog walking buys you. 403 00:18:20,283 --> 00:18:23,803 {\an2}Helium's pricey, so you'll just have to settle for my lung air. 404 00:18:23,843 --> 00:18:26,963 {\an2}Now, I know the Order says birthdays are a pagan ritual. 405 00:18:27,003 --> 00:18:29,803 {\an2}That's fine, because this isn't a birthday cake. 406 00:18:29,843 --> 00:18:31,803 {\an2}It's just a nondenominational sponge 407 00:18:31,843 --> 00:18:34,363 {\an2}that happens to have 17 candles and your name on it. 408 00:18:46,643 --> 00:18:47,923 {\an2}You OK? 409 00:18:47,963 --> 00:18:50,803 {\an2}You haven't blinked in the last 30 seconds. 410 00:18:55,323 --> 00:18:56,923 {\an2}Whoa! 411 00:19:05,283 --> 00:19:07,403 {\an2}Wow. 412 00:19:07,443 --> 00:19:09,963 {\an2}Aaron, this is amazing. 413 00:19:10,003 --> 00:19:12,123 {\an2}I love the detail. 414 00:19:12,163 --> 00:19:13,763 {\an2}Like this guy... David. 415 00:19:13,803 --> 00:19:16,563 {\an2}So, he's throwing his stone over here, 416 00:19:16,603 --> 00:19:19,123 {\an2}but on the opposite side, it is hitting this guy in the head. 417 00:19:19,163 --> 00:19:20,603 {\an2}Goliath. Yeah. 418 00:19:20,643 --> 00:19:22,563 {\an2}Somebody finally noticed that. 419 00:19:22,603 --> 00:19:25,003 {\an2}Can you believe my dad thought he was one of the Nephilim? 420 00:19:25,043 --> 00:19:28,483 {\an2}I mean, that's like mistaking Josiah for the prophet Elijah. 421 00:19:28,523 --> 00:19:29,523 {\an2}Right. 422 00:19:32,043 --> 00:19:33,843 {\an2}What do you make of your dad, Aaron? 423 00:19:34,963 --> 00:19:38,483 {\an8}He finds a lot of things difficult, but he tries. 424 00:19:38,523 --> 00:19:40,163 {\an8}Yeah. 425 00:19:40,203 --> 00:19:42,683 {\an8}Cor, that's a good six pack, in't it? It's an eight pack. 426 00:19:44,923 --> 00:19:46,923 {\an1}SLURPING 427 00:19:49,283 --> 00:19:51,323 {\an2}This drink is delicious. 428 00:19:51,363 --> 00:19:52,803 {\an2}That's miso soup, David. 429 00:19:52,843 --> 00:19:56,483 {\an2}Fiona, you're a cultural queen. How do you know all this stuff? 430 00:19:56,523 --> 00:19:58,483 {\an2}I googled the menu in advance. 431 00:19:58,523 --> 00:20:00,483 {\an2}and learnt rudimentary Japanese. 432 00:20:00,523 --> 00:20:01,883 {\an2}Arigato. 433 00:20:03,043 --> 00:20:04,603 {\an2}Wow. 434 00:20:04,643 --> 00:20:06,963 {\an2}You even know the waiter's name. 435 00:20:07,003 --> 00:20:09,323 {\an2}David, before you start on that... 436 00:20:09,363 --> 00:20:10,563 {\an2}..dumpling... Mm-hm. 437 00:20:10,603 --> 00:20:13,443 {\an2}..it was very thoughtful what you got me earlier, so... 438 00:20:15,523 --> 00:20:18,203 {\an2}You got me a return token of love? 439 00:20:26,723 --> 00:20:27,963 {\an2}You can just rip it. 440 00:20:28,003 --> 00:20:31,403 {\an2}It's from my wife. I'm going to savour it. 441 00:20:31,443 --> 00:20:33,763 {\an2}Might even keep the wrapping paper in one single... 442 00:20:41,363 --> 00:20:43,283 {\an2}Oh. 443 00:20:43,323 --> 00:20:44,643 {\an2}Oh, Fiona. 444 00:20:46,403 --> 00:20:50,003 {\an2}But I'm not really an Elder. They didn't choose me. 445 00:20:50,043 --> 00:20:51,563 {\an2}But I chose you, David. 446 00:20:54,043 --> 00:20:56,243 {\an2}All those years ago. 447 00:20:56,283 --> 00:20:58,443 {\an2}And you'd choose me again today? 448 00:20:59,563 --> 00:21:00,923 {\an2}I chose you, David. 449 00:21:02,403 --> 00:21:05,123 {\an2}I can't wait to see what people think when I wear this in church. 450 00:21:05,163 --> 00:21:06,363 {\an2}Never wear it in church. 451 00:21:06,403 --> 00:21:07,843 {\an2}No. Right. Of course. 452 00:21:10,963 --> 00:21:12,363 {\an2}Hmm. 453 00:21:13,523 --> 00:21:15,843 {\an2}So...bang. 454 00:21:15,883 --> 00:21:17,883 {\an2}I'm impressed you know what it means, to be fair. 455 00:21:17,923 --> 00:21:21,003 {\an2}You've only just learnt what a birthday is. 456 00:21:21,043 --> 00:21:23,323 {\an2}I'm sorry. Someone told me. 457 00:21:23,363 --> 00:21:24,723 {\an2}It's OK. 458 00:21:26,323 --> 00:21:27,683 {\an2}How's your cake? 459 00:21:27,723 --> 00:21:30,363 {\an2}I scraped all the icing off. Didn't want to blow your mind. 460 00:21:30,403 --> 00:21:32,843 {\an1}SHE SNIFFS SOFTLY 461 00:21:32,883 --> 00:21:33,883 {\an2}What's up? 462 00:21:35,563 --> 00:21:37,603 {\an2}Nothing. 463 00:21:37,643 --> 00:21:39,843 {\an2}This is really nice. 464 00:21:39,883 --> 00:21:41,803 {\an2}Yeah? You don't sound sure. 465 00:21:41,843 --> 00:21:43,363 {\an2}No, I am. 466 00:21:43,403 --> 00:21:46,083 {\an2}Thank you for remembering my birthday. 467 00:21:49,203 --> 00:21:51,323 {\an2}Friends always remember birthdays. 468 00:21:56,123 --> 00:21:57,563 {\an2}Yeah. 469 00:21:59,163 --> 00:22:01,163 {\an2}Friends. 470 00:22:01,203 --> 00:22:04,603 {\an1}MUSIC: It's Me, O Lord by Pastor TL Barrett and Youth for Christ Choir 471 00:22:14,683 --> 00:22:17,683 {\an2}Subtitles by Red Bee Media 40352

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