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Bash Howard Productions proudly presents,
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live from the Fan-Tan Hotel and Casino
in Las Vegas, Nevada,
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it’s GLOW!
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The Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling!
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Ladies and gentlemen,
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00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:01,644
Bash Howard Productions proudly presents,
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live from the Fan-Tan Hotel and Casino
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00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:08,234
in Las Vegas, Nevada,
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it's GLOW!
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00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:14,866
The Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling!
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It's GLOW!
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It's GLOW!
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It's GLOW!
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It's GLOW!
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The Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling!
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We have to go!
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Give me a minute!
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00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:02,580
Showtime.
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Fuck.
20
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We lost one of our own yesterday.
21
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Bernie Rubenstein.
22
00:02:24,727 --> 00:02:28,523
A man who loved beautiful women
as much as he loved a good parking spot.
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00:02:28,606 --> 00:02:31,401
Bernie was, well...
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00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:33,153
you all know Bernie.
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Someone who was the biggest personality
in the room,
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00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:41,411
even though he was usually the shortest.
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He also hated gum.
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- Mm.
- And green eye shadow.
29
00:02:45,748 --> 00:02:47,333
He... thought it was so tacky,
30
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:52,380
which is why you will not find
a single green eyelid in all of Rhapsody.
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00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:57,927
It's... It's funny, I... I realize most
of you knew Bernie as an old man, but...
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00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:01,931
when he was younger, uh,
he was... he was really something
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00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,975
with his... dark hair.
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00:03:04,058 --> 00:03:06,060
He actually hired me for my first job,
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straight off the bus from Ohio.
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00:03:09,772 --> 00:03:12,442
He taught me how to do high kicks,
how to smile,
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00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:16,905
how to put Vaseline on my nipples
so they always looked amazing.
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00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:22,243
Uh... with Bernie gone, it's...
it's the end of an era.
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00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:25,955
I mean, nobody really cares
about elegance anymore, or class.
40
00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:29,000
Now, people wear T-shirts in the casino,
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00:03:29,083 --> 00:03:32,420
and there’s a Burger King
in the lobby of the Riviera. I mean...
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00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:36,466
maybe it’s a good thing Bernie died
before any of that happens here.
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00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:39,510
Anyway, enough with the nostalgia.
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00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:43,014
When your shift is done,
have a drink at the bar on me.
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00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:48,436
Chardonnay.
46
00:03:51,689 --> 00:03:52,899
Thank you all for coming.
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00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,652
- I loved your speech.
- Thank you.
48
00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:58,821
His daughters wouldn’t let me speak
at the real funeral, so...
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00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:02,784
Look, um, Bernie always said,
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00:04:02,867 --> 00:04:05,161
"Talk to people
when they can’t say no to you."
51
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:06,788
And so, in his honor,
52
00:04:07,121 --> 00:04:11,084
I would like to extend GLOW’s contract
until the end of the year.
53
00:04:12,835 --> 00:04:13,836
Um...
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00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,005
Keep you a part of the Fan-Tan family.
55
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:19,467
Sorry, you... you mean stay in Vegas
another nine months?
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00:04:19,717 --> 00:04:23,346
Nine months. Yes.
Let’s say double scale for the producers.
57
00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:24,429
- Wow.
- I mean,
58
00:04:24,514 --> 00:04:25,874
we can work out the details later.
59
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:28,226
Well, I think I speak
on behalf of all of us when I say
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00:04:28,309 --> 00:04:30,728
- that this is an...
- That we need to discuss this. Um...
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00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:33,731
It’s such a flattering offer,
of course, but...
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00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:38,027
Wow, yeah, obviously there’s a lot
to talk about together. All of us.
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00:04:38,653 --> 00:04:41,781
- Of course. You know where I am.
- Yes, thank you.
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00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:46,703
What is there to discuss? This is...
This is everything we’ve ever wanted.
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00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:49,497
The fact that you think
that there’s nothing to discuss,
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00:04:49,580 --> 00:04:52,750
- that's why we need a discussion.
- Sandy’s rolling out the red carpet.
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00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:54,554
Not to mention,
you’re gonna make more money
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00:04:54,585 --> 00:04:57,785
- than you’ve ever made in your career.
- It’s not about the money. It's about...
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the fact that I live in a different state
than my kid.
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00:05:00,758 --> 00:05:02,135
Three months was already brutal.
71
00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:04,721
Brutal? Please. I seem to remember
more than a few amenities
72
00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:06,282
that have been making your time here
more bearable.
73
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:07,724
You guys, stop.
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00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:10,476
We’re basically at a funeral.
75
00:05:17,525 --> 00:05:18,943
She’s on the floor.
76
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,882
I offered her a sports massage,
but she wouldn’t let me touch her.
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00:05:23,906 --> 00:05:26,659
Reggie, I told you,
I need soft hands.
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Soft.
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00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:35,084
Hey. Actually, I'm... I'm good down here.
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00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:37,712
If your back is in too much pain
to get on the table,
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00:05:37,795 --> 00:05:39,275
you should probably head to a doctor.
82
00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:42,216
Just do what you can, please.
83
00:05:42,717 --> 00:05:45,636
And, uh, maybe I’ll be able to get up.
84
00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:49,432
And I'll go soak in the hot tub.
And go to work. I’ll be fine.
85
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Okay.
86
00:06:10,995 --> 00:06:13,331
Well, uh, Sacramento’s still bullshit,
87
00:06:13,414 --> 00:06:16,209
- but I now have a B-minus average.
- Mm.
88
00:06:16,292 --> 00:06:19,087
Uh, Billy sent me some lame demo tape,
89
00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:21,756
which is like one long,
desperate take-me-back plea.
90
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:26,177
Whatever. It's... It's all boring.
91
00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:29,097
No, not... not to me.
I'm just happy to see ya.
92
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:32,433
I'm glad you decided to spend
your spring break here. It's great.
93
00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:35,019
So, how's Vegas?
94
00:06:35,603 --> 00:06:38,064
Well, it... This is it.
You're in it.
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00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:40,233
It's nothin'. I mean, you know...
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00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:42,236
Oh, you know what?
You’ll get a kick out of this.
97
00:06:42,318 --> 00:06:46,739
Uh, we lost Keith to some gig.
And guess who’s gonna be playing ref?
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00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:49,450
- Ruth.
- No. Good guess, though.
99
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:51,828
Okay, who?
100
00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:55,206
No.
101
00:06:55,289 --> 00:06:56,642
- Yeah.
- Uniform and everything?
102
00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,918
- Yep.
- Well, now I gotta see this show!
103
00:06:59,001 --> 00:07:01,295
- Yeah.
- You running around the ring?
104
00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:02,964
No wonder you got so skinny.
105
00:07:03,047 --> 00:07:07,009
Well, I've... I've also been dating
the hotel gym's rowing machine, so...
106
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:09,971
Uh...
107
00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:13,391
- You know...
- I wrote my screenplay.
108
00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:17,437
The one I promised I’d finish...
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00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:18,770
Really?
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I finished it.
111
00:07:21,065 --> 00:07:22,065
Wow.
112
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:23,943
Congratulations.
113
00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:28,072
That's a screenplay.
114
00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:31,159
Okay. First note: uh, it needs a title.
115
00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:32,784
Yeah, no shit.
116
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:36,539
Will you read it?
117
00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:39,834
I'd love to.
118
00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:42,837
Okay, but I need you to be
completely honest with me.
119
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:44,881
- Especially if it sucks.
- Okay.
120
00:07:45,173 --> 00:07:47,300
I promise to be merciless.
121
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:55,016
- Don’t read it in front of me!
- What...
122
00:07:55,099 --> 00:07:56,601
What the hell is wrong with you?
123
00:07:56,684 --> 00:07:58,394
What's happening? Where...
Where you going?
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00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:01,355
I... I don’t wanna be anywhere near you
when you're reading it.
125
00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:04,358
I don’t have to read it right now.
Can't we...
126
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:16,704
Got a tip from Chad the valet
that you were in here.
127
00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:18,539
Of course you did.
128
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:23,169
I don’t usually get drunk
in the hotel bar.
129
00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:25,463
It seems more professional here.
130
00:08:30,718 --> 00:08:32,970
You said I could come to you
if I ever needed to.
131
00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:36,682
Woman to woman. Well, here I am.
132
00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:39,018
Not a good time, Debbie.
133
00:08:39,101 --> 00:08:42,480
If you couldn’t tell.
Imagine how you’d feel if Bash died.
134
00:08:42,980 --> 00:08:44,815
I'd...
135
00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:49,362
Well, it... it'd be very tragic,
given how young and handsome he is.
136
00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:51,155
You didn’t see Bernie in his heyday.
137
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:54,408
Oh, God. I'm sorry. Were you two...
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00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:56,619
God, no. He was a creep.
139
00:08:57,453 --> 00:08:58,453
And very short.
140
00:08:59,413 --> 00:09:00,581
But you know how it is.
141
00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:02,875
You hitch your wagon to a rich dreamer.
142
00:09:02,959 --> 00:09:04,794
The dreamer dies,
and your wagon is sitting
143
00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:07,296
on the side of the road
with a bottle of gin
144
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:10,591
and a four-million-dollar showgirl show
to pull along.
145
00:09:14,136 --> 00:09:18,307
Look, I know you’re in mourning,
but also, uh, doing business,
146
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,643
so it’s hard to navigate this.
147
00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:21,726
But, um...
148
00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:24,397
your offer is...
149
00:09:25,147 --> 00:09:29,110
like dropping an atom bomb on my life.
150
00:09:29,193 --> 00:09:33,698
You’re telling me you didn’t have a plan
for if your show would be successful?
151
00:09:33,781 --> 00:09:37,660
I thought it would end after three months,
as planned.
152
00:09:38,869 --> 00:09:40,246
Is that what you want?
153
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:43,540
I don't know.
154
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:46,294
I wasn’t really thinking
that many steps ahead.
155
00:09:48,212 --> 00:09:51,007
If you want to be a good producer,
you should.
156
00:10:00,349 --> 00:10:02,560
Maybe I’ll swing by your show tonight.
157
00:10:02,893 --> 00:10:05,646
Rhapsody is dark
for the first time in ages.
158
00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:08,441
My husband has a poker game.
159
00:10:08,524 --> 00:10:11,527
Better to cry in the dark with strangers
160
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:14,113
than alone in a big empty house, right?
161
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:23,247
Sam. Sam.
Sam, hey. Earth to Sam.
162
00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:24,498
- Hey, man.
- Oh!
163
00:10:25,374 --> 00:10:26,476
- That's a lot of pages.
- Mm.
164
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:28,461
- You back on the horse? Can I read?
- No.
165
00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:32,465
Hey. What do you think of that number?
166
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:35,444
- Nice number.
- Mm-hmm.
167
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:36,987
You’re looking at what you'd be making
168
00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:38,931
if we stuck around in Vegas
for nine more months.
169
00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:41,181
Fuck.
170
00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:44,352
- That much?
- Mm-hmm.
171
00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:46,646
If we want this money,
all we gotta do is take it.
172
00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:49,398
Sandy wants GLOW to play the Fan-Tan
173
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:51,317
- through the end of the year.
- Wow.
174
00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:53,151
Okay.
175
00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:55,112
- That’s pretty enticing.
- Yeah.
176
00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:58,324
I agree. So help me get Debbie
to come around on this thing.
177
00:10:58,407 --> 00:11:00,826
Together. You know,
I’ll be good cop, you be bad cop.
178
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:03,913
She’s worried about... I don't know,
not being able to see her kid
179
00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:05,682
and the girls getting through the show.
Yadda, yadda.
180
00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:07,017
I say let’s deal with all that later.
181
00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:08,401
- You know what I mean?
- Mm.
182
00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:12,088
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't wanna be put in the middle.
183
00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:13,649
All right.
I’m not putting you in the middle.
184
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,833
You'd be on my side,
which is not in the middle at all.
185
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,427
What happened
to “One for all, all for one"?
186
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:19,804
Well, it's a bit more like,
187
00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:23,099
“Two against one
until we all agree... for one."
188
00:11:23,849 --> 00:11:25,851
C’mon man. This is why I kept you around.
189
00:11:29,146 --> 00:11:31,107
See, I thought you kept me around
to direct.
190
00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:35,277
Sam, let's be honest, all right?
I mean, you're on a paid vacation.
191
00:11:35,611 --> 00:11:38,531
But you can earn your money
by being the director who agrees
192
00:11:38,614 --> 00:11:41,617
- with the producer.
- Yeah, I’m not your fuckin' butler.
193
00:11:42,201 --> 00:11:45,996
You know? You can’t pay me
to be your friend, or to agree with you,
194
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:49,417
or to tell you how fantastic
all your ideas are.
195
00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:52,461
Yeah, yeah. That’s right.
Instead, I’m paying you
196
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,815
to sit around a fucking hotel room
and write another screenplay
197
00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:57,567
- that'll never see the light of day.
- Don’t throw your weight around.
198
00:11:57,591 --> 00:11:58,591
You're not good at it.
199
00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:01,220
You know what, Sam?
You’re lucky to have this job.
200
00:12:01,303 --> 00:12:03,023
And you should have my fucking back
on this.
201
00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:14,608
- Hey. How was your massage?
- Just what the doctor ordered.
202
00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:16,652
You know what?
I could use a massage.
203
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,696
My sciatica is killing me!
204
00:12:18,779 --> 00:12:21,741
You know, get those,
like, nice, warm, tiny hands all over me.
205
00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:23,904
Oh!
Last time I had tiny hands all over me,
206
00:12:23,951 --> 00:12:25,035
it was at the gynecologist.
207
00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:27,013
- Haa!
- Yeah, that's... that's good!
208
00:12:27,037 --> 00:12:30,541
Hey, hey, I have an idea.
How about I play a Biddie tonight?
209
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,669
- Come on! I’d make a great Edna. Or Ethel.
- Uh...
210
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:35,313
Last time we listened to you and Cherry
211
00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:37,715
about switching characters,
it did not go well.
212
00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:39,735
You know what?
I’d be down to switch characters,
213
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,427
but I’m not touching Welfare Queen.
214
00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,095
I could switch with you.
215
00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:45,222
No... No. We can't switch characters, okay?
216
00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:47,516
The costumes won’t fit.
It’ll be a complete disaster.
217
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,477
Or it’ll be funny.
218
00:12:51,228 --> 00:12:54,273
You know what? It’s the last week.
Tammé’s right. Let’s, uh...
219
00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:56,192
Let's do it. Let's shake it up.
220
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:58,652
- What about kayfabe?
- I’m with Carmen.
221
00:12:59,028 --> 00:13:01,822
Also, it's our job to do the same show.
222
00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:05,034
And it’s through the repetition
that you find out more
223
00:13:05,117 --> 00:13:06,243
about your character.
224
00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:11,582
But if we did switch characters,
I need to be Welfare Queen.
225
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:14,853
She’s got all the best moves,
and I’m the only one, besides Cherry,
226
00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:15,877
who can play her.
227
00:13:18,422 --> 00:13:19,590
'Cause I'm half black?
228
00:13:20,007 --> 00:13:20,925
- You are?
- Oh.
229
00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:22,301
I mean, that's crazy.
230
00:13:22,384 --> 00:13:25,054
I knew that.
Well, I... I call dibs on Liberty Belle.
231
00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:27,932
If anyone gets Liberty Belle, it’s me.
It was my character first.
232
00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:30,142
Give it a rest, Reggie.
233
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:33,145
If anyone's capable of making
Liberty Belle look good, it's me.
234
00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:34,647
Quick pitch. Jewish Liberty Belle.
235
00:13:37,858 --> 00:13:39,568
All right! All right!
Everyone settle down!
236
00:13:40,986 --> 00:13:44,865
If anyone is going
to play Liberty Belle... it’s Ruth.
237
00:13:45,699 --> 00:13:46,784
Oh!
238
00:13:46,867 --> 00:13:49,870
- Really?
- Yes. And I am going to play Zoya.
239
00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:51,074
It’ll be like Freaky Friday.
240
00:13:51,121 --> 00:13:53,040
Or Freaky... whatever, Tuesday.
241
00:13:54,124 --> 00:13:56,377
Oh, come on. You’re an actor.
242
00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:58,540
Don’t tell me you haven’t wanted
to play other parts.
243
00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:01,382
Come on, just be Liberty Belle.
244
00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:05,678
Fine.
245
00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:07,304
It’s not the worst idea.
246
00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:08,973
- Junkchain.
- Yes!
247
00:14:09,056 --> 00:14:10,224
Yes!
248
00:14:10,432 --> 00:14:11,809
Oh, I feel great!
249
00:14:11,892 --> 00:14:15,020
Yes! Yeah! Yes!
250
00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:27,616
My dad’s in the show.
251
00:14:29,159 --> 00:14:30,953
My father figure died this week.
252
00:14:40,921 --> 00:14:44,383
Ladies and gentlemen,
253
00:14:44,508 --> 00:14:47,553
Bash Howard Productions proudly presents,
254
00:14:47,803 --> 00:14:53,726
live from the Fan-Tan Hotel and Casino
in Las Vegas, Nevada,
255
00:14:53,809 --> 00:14:55,102
it’s GLOW!
256
00:14:55,185 --> 00:14:57,855
The Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling!
257
00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:03,360
Ha-ha! Yes, yes, yes!
258
00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:07,781
What an audience tonight!
259
00:15:08,657 --> 00:15:10,659
Wow! So many VIPs!
260
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:13,120
Better bust out the bubbly!
261
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:15,497
Okay.
262
00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:17,499
For our first match tonight,
263
00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:21,587
reeking of Bengay and prune juice,
264
00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:23,213
it’s Ethel and Edna,
265
00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:26,717
the Beatdown Biddies!
266
00:15:27,551 --> 00:15:31,263
Oh, boy!
267
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:34,642
My arthritis is acting up!
268
00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:38,395
I believe I’m due for a bone density test!
269
00:15:39,897 --> 00:15:42,566
- Look at this crowd.
- What crowd?
270
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:43,734
Oh!
271
00:15:43,817 --> 00:15:46,862
- Wow, I love this crowd!
- Oh, hello.
272
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,530
You're beautiful.
273
00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:49,990
Just beautiful.
274
00:15:50,991 --> 00:15:52,743
Eh, some of you beautiful.
275
00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:56,705
Here they come. Spry as a coffin.
276
00:15:56,956 --> 00:15:59,124
Edna. We gotta go.
277
00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:01,502
- We gotta go fight for our lives.
- Ow!
278
00:16:01,585 --> 00:16:03,212
All right! Hurry it up, ladies!
279
00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:05,798
We got more than one match
to get through tonight.
280
00:16:06,173 --> 00:16:07,341
Okay.
281
00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:10,135
Ethel! Ethel!
282
00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:13,180
- Okay. Yeah, yeah, I got you.
- Ethel! Okay.
283
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:21,021
And in this corner, hopefully,
is the Red Scare.
284
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:28,028
Zoya the Destroya and Fortune Cookie!
285
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:36,912
Darlings, please.
286
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:39,206
Hate me all you want.
287
00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:43,919
I am cold and heartless
like the frigid Siberian tundra.
288
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,254
Jesus fucking Christ.
289
00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:48,173
I feel nothing for you capitalist idiots.
290
00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:52,469
Well, except maybe pity
for inevitable decline.
291
00:16:53,887 --> 00:16:55,597
Let's see, what would scare you?
292
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:57,099
A museum.
293
00:16:57,182 --> 00:16:59,518
Book without pictures. Okay.
294
00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:01,854
And you...
295
00:17:02,229 --> 00:17:03,480
hello!
296
00:17:04,398 --> 00:17:08,610
You have
very nice permanent hair treatment.
297
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:11,488
- Thank you.
- You must be made of money,
298
00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:15,909
and therefore
have American secrets I can extract
299
00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:18,996
through acts of sexual nature.
300
00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:20,223
Hai-ya!
301
00:17:20,247 --> 00:17:21,247
Okay.
302
00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:25,169
Perhaps we discuss later in, uh, hot tub.
303
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:28,630
- Ya! Hai-ya!
- Sorry about your bill.
304
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:30,716
How to approach...
305
00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:32,551
Oh!
306
00:17:32,676 --> 00:17:36,889
Cookie, help. Help me, Cookie. Okay.
307
00:17:36,972 --> 00:17:38,307
Coming to the rescue!
308
00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:40,267
Perfect for families.
309
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:45,564
Let's get this party started.
It's time to wrestle.
310
00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:50,569
Look here, little Asian girl.
311
00:17:50,652 --> 00:17:54,865
Just because I'm a baptized member
of the Ebenezer Baptist Church
312
00:17:54,948 --> 00:17:56,492
don’t mean I won’t tear that ass up.
313
00:17:57,117 --> 00:17:59,787
How you tear up ass if you cannot walk
314
00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:01,830
without walking aid?
315
00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:07,628
Excuse me,
how do you walk in that tiny leotard? Ha!
316
00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:12,382
You’re two shakes away
from a yeast infection! Ugh!
317
00:18:12,466 --> 00:18:13,634
Oh!
318
00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:16,011
Hey! Come on!
319
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,222
Who has yeast infection now?
320
00:18:18,305 --> 00:18:21,225
Who order number 69 on the menu?
321
00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:23,685
Ooh!
322
00:18:24,686 --> 00:18:27,689
Here. Belt the skirt.
Yolanda, how’s it going over here?
323
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:29,817
I got a diaper booty.
324
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:32,545
- What you gonna do for our match?
- I think I’m going to light this
325
00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:33,612
and say something like...
326
00:18:40,035 --> 00:18:42,162
And then blow it in your face
or something.
327
00:18:42,329 --> 00:18:43,956
- Oh, okay.
- Okay.
328
00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:46,667
Um, I think instead of being Machu Picchu,
329
00:18:46,750 --> 00:18:47,626
I’m gonna be...
330
00:18:47,709 --> 00:18:49,270
...a British explorer
331
00:18:49,294 --> 00:18:51,046
conquering Machu Picchu.
332
00:18:51,171 --> 00:18:53,340
All right. You're set. You're good.
333
00:18:53,882 --> 00:18:55,968
Um, well, the top fits.
334
00:18:56,927 --> 00:18:59,346
- Okay, just wear your leggings.
- Oh, good.
335
00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:02,975
These crystal pantyhose
are too damn short.
336
00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:05,727
- Fine! Ditch the pantyhose!
- Okay.
337
00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:07,020
I need a character.
338
00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:11,567
Soy sauce
in your eye! Chopstick in your nose!
339
00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:16,071
- Oh, my God. Why is she doing that voice?
- Isn't that the same voice you do?
340
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:19,491
No, it's not.
It's not the same voice, Sheila.
341
00:19:19,575 --> 00:19:22,578
Okay?
She’s a white girl doing that voice.
342
00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:26,123
What’s your problem.
Are you gonna change or not?
343
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:27,875
I’ll be back.
344
00:19:28,792 --> 00:19:30,210
Sheila! You're on in...
345
00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:31,962
I know! I need a minute!
346
00:19:32,629 --> 00:19:35,549
Hai-ya! I'm a ninja! Ya!
347
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,303
I fly you like lice!
348
00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:43,849
Chinese! Japanese! Elderly, on your knees!
349
00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:46,268
Hai-ya!
350
00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:48,645
Tammé, what the fuck? Do the move!
351
00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:55,652
Doctor Zoya says loudmouth babushka
should get her rest.
352
00:19:57,529 --> 00:19:58,530
Ethel, help me!
353
00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:01,158
Zoya's just chucked Edna out of the ring.
354
00:20:01,241 --> 00:20:03,535
Bye, old spaniel.
355
00:20:04,077 --> 00:20:06,117
- What's going on?
- I don't know.
356
00:20:10,834 --> 00:20:13,212
And the evil empire's prevailed, folks!
357
00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:15,923
I can't believe it! We have a winner!
358
00:20:18,008 --> 00:20:22,137
Oh, my parents so proud! Oh! Oh!
359
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,097
- Hey, what the fuck?
- Huh?
360
00:20:25,515 --> 00:20:29,728
What's this? Looks
like Zoya's turning on her partner. Shit!
361
00:20:29,811 --> 00:20:32,189
And now it's Russia versus China!
362
00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:34,858
One, two, three!
363
00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:36,568
I can't believe it, folks!
364
00:20:36,652 --> 00:20:42,991
Zoya destroys her own partner Mel...
tion Cookie with a devastating body slam.
365
00:20:43,283 --> 00:20:45,994
Russia takes the crown all for herself.
Wow!
366
00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:48,455
Hey, you’re taking my one job.
367
00:20:49,122 --> 00:20:50,916
Holy Toledo!
368
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:52,793
Whoa! Cool!
369
00:20:52,876 --> 00:20:55,128
Hey, what the fuck
do you think you're doing?
370
00:20:55,212 --> 00:20:57,798
- Is it not clear?
- Uh, Sandy's at the show.
371
00:20:57,881 --> 00:20:58,799
She came tonight, okay?
372
00:20:58,882 --> 00:21:01,635
Yeah, she told me she was coming.
I thought this would cheer her up.
373
00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:03,428
What is this?
374
00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:07,849
You send useless man without shirt
to deliver, what is it, toy crown?
375
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:11,144
- No.
- Is this what Bash Howard budget gets you?
376
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:12,104
In Russia,
377
00:21:12,187 --> 00:21:15,315
I have egg more valuable than this.
378
00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:19,111
No wonder no one wants to challenge Zoya.
379
00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:21,154
I’ll fight you!
380
00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:24,825
- Who said that?
- Over here!
381
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:27,202
Sorry. Little old me.
382
00:21:27,494 --> 00:21:30,497
Where? All I see is plain-toast girl.
383
00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:33,792
Well, you’re right about that.
384
00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:36,044
I am a plain girl...
385
00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:38,672
the Great Plains, that is.
386
00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:45,220
I may be a sweet innocent girl
from the heartland of America,
387
00:21:45,512 --> 00:21:50,559
who spends most of her days
plucking chickens and milking cows,
388
00:21:50,642 --> 00:21:52,894
but that doesn’t mean I won’t make time
389
00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:57,649
to kick your Russki ass
from sea to shining sea!
390
00:21:59,693 --> 00:22:01,862
Oh, disrobing. Wow.
391
00:22:02,654 --> 00:22:04,531
Is necessary? I... I...
392
00:22:05,073 --> 00:22:08,035
Once I get this skirt off,
you're in for it, you!
393
00:22:09,244 --> 00:22:11,246
Ha! Here I come.
394
00:22:11,538 --> 00:22:13,206
This is amazing.
395
00:22:14,499 --> 00:22:15,499
Whoo!
396
00:22:16,084 --> 00:22:17,084
Ha!
397
00:22:18,378 --> 00:22:20,380
Oh, American sweetheart.
398
00:22:20,464 --> 00:22:23,800
Girls like you used for toothpick
in Russia.
399
00:22:24,051 --> 00:22:29,681
Well, this American toothpick runs
on nothing but meat and wheat
400
00:22:30,057 --> 00:22:33,268
from the great state of Nebraska!
401
00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:37,481
Oh! She's kicking it off
with a dropkick to the diaphragm!
402
00:22:38,231 --> 00:22:39,816
Taste my shoe.
403
00:22:39,900 --> 00:22:42,277
I guess she's feeding her some boot!
404
00:22:44,112 --> 00:22:46,490
But this Russian's not having any of it.
405
00:22:47,574 --> 00:22:49,743
It looks
like it might be over fast, but...
406
00:22:49,826 --> 00:22:51,036
Oh, wait a minute!
407
00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:53,205
- There's a reverse sunset flip!
- One! Two!
408
00:22:53,288 --> 00:22:57,209
Who knew this American
and this Russian knew each other's moves?
409
00:22:57,292 --> 00:22:59,920
It's as if they've played each other
before!
410
00:23:00,003 --> 00:23:02,172
Take this, swine!
411
00:23:03,173 --> 00:23:04,091
Oh!
412
00:23:06,009 --> 00:23:08,553
Do you like my little slut ukulele?
413
00:23:10,972 --> 00:23:14,559
Such a dirty mouth.
I hope my daddy isn't watching!
414
00:23:14,643 --> 00:23:17,229
Oh, darling, I'm your daddy now.
415
00:23:20,399 --> 00:23:25,278
Oh, my back!
My number one asset when farming.
416
00:23:25,362 --> 00:23:27,572
That back-breaker looked like it hurt!
417
00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:33,036
Oh, looks like there's spunk yet
in this little American firecracker.
418
00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:36,456
- Yeah.
- Like the patriots at the Alamo,
419
00:23:36,540 --> 00:23:39,876
she's not going out
without fightin' off the Russians.
420
00:23:43,797 --> 00:23:45,715
Ooh!
421
00:23:48,969 --> 00:23:50,429
- Oh!
- Whee!
422
00:23:51,596 --> 00:23:52,596
Heads-up!
423
00:23:52,848 --> 00:23:56,393
Oh, a cazadora, do I see?
424
00:23:57,686 --> 00:24:00,188
One! Two! Three!
425
00:24:00,272 --> 00:24:02,524
And we have a winner!
426
00:24:07,237 --> 00:24:09,239
Unbelievable, folks.
427
00:24:09,489 --> 00:24:12,993
A little lass
from Lincoln's lovely homeland
428
00:24:13,076 --> 00:24:15,829
defeats Zoya the Destroya!
429
00:24:16,079 --> 00:24:18,373
What's your name, sweetie pie?
430
00:24:18,790 --> 00:24:20,500
I’m Liberty Belle,
431
00:24:20,584 --> 00:24:25,714
and any time evil confronts our borders,
432
00:24:26,047 --> 00:24:27,632
I'll be there.
433
00:24:27,716 --> 00:24:29,916
Hold on a second, white lady.
434
00:24:32,095 --> 00:24:33,722
- Oh!
- What the...
435
00:24:37,142 --> 00:24:38,310
Give me that.
436
00:24:45,358 --> 00:24:48,612
What a twist!
Literally, it's a helicopter!
437
00:24:48,695 --> 00:24:49,821
Oh!
438
00:24:54,326 --> 00:24:58,663
- One! Two! Three!
- Hey...
439
00:25:00,874 --> 00:25:02,250
Finally!
440
00:25:02,584 --> 00:25:05,128
The crown... is mine!
441
00:25:08,632 --> 00:25:11,801
Well, why don't you tell us who you are,
and why you've done this?
442
00:25:11,885 --> 00:25:13,685
Thank you.
443
00:25:14,304 --> 00:25:16,765
I am Welfare Queen,
444
00:25:17,015 --> 00:25:19,643
queen of welfare.
445
00:25:19,851 --> 00:25:22,604
Y'all love to hate me,
446
00:25:22,687 --> 00:25:26,816
'cause I'm a black woman who's on welfare
to feed her children.
447
00:25:27,484 --> 00:25:31,404
But the crown finally is coming back
to the hood.
448
00:25:31,530 --> 00:25:33,323
Don't... Okay.
449
00:25:35,283 --> 00:25:37,619
Fuck. I feel like I'm on acid.
450
00:25:43,208 --> 00:25:47,212
This is what I'm about to do
to your face, yo!
451
00:25:48,380 --> 00:25:54,928
You ready to get that pretty little face
in some dirt, 'cause here's... a... worm!
452
00:25:55,262 --> 00:26:00,517
I will do my ritual prayer
before killing American infidel!
453
00:26:05,355 --> 00:26:07,023
Baba ganoush!
454
00:26:09,734 --> 00:26:14,781
Knick-knack, paddywhack,
give a scientist a scone! I’m British!
455
00:26:16,449 --> 00:26:17,784
What up, bitches?
456
00:26:17,867 --> 00:26:23,498
I'm 50, but I act like I'm 19.
Let's fucking party!
457
00:26:26,876 --> 00:26:28,712
And in the other corner is...
458
00:26:34,843 --> 00:26:37,804
a nun, because... why not?
459
00:26:38,346 --> 00:26:40,098
Nothing else matters anymore.
460
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:42,517
And, hey, since it's a tag team match,
461
00:26:42,601 --> 00:26:45,103
maybe another wrestler will appear
at some point.
462
00:26:46,021 --> 00:26:47,522
Over here, boys!
463
00:26:47,814 --> 00:26:49,316
Oh!
464
00:26:51,401 --> 00:26:52,401
Good evening.
465
00:26:52,944 --> 00:26:53,987
I’m Liza.
466
00:26:55,113 --> 00:26:56,531
Liza Minnelli.
467
00:26:56,656 --> 00:26:58,408
What?
468
00:26:58,783 --> 00:27:00,118
Holy shit.
469
00:27:13,757 --> 00:27:15,342
She better not rip that dress.
470
00:27:15,425 --> 00:27:17,510
But, you know, whatever it takes to win.
471
00:27:17,594 --> 00:27:19,054
That’s what Liza would want.
472
00:27:19,763 --> 00:27:21,056
Is that Sheila?
473
00:27:21,306 --> 00:27:23,642
If I did my job right, you’ll never know.
474
00:27:24,142 --> 00:27:25,769
I’ve never seen her dressed
475
00:27:25,852 --> 00:27:28,146
as a human woman before.
476
00:27:28,521 --> 00:27:31,024
C’mon, Liza, ring them bells!
477
00:27:32,525 --> 00:27:35,570
Oh!
478
00:27:35,654 --> 00:27:39,240
I have done the sciences,
and have come to the conclusion
479
00:27:39,324 --> 00:27:41,951
that you will never be as good
as your mother!
480
00:27:51,252 --> 00:27:53,672
- I'm gonna pray for you!
- That's it!
481
00:27:54,631 --> 00:27:56,007
Put a scotch into that.
482
00:27:56,091 --> 00:27:58,885
Ow, my spine! My spine!
483
00:27:59,219 --> 00:28:01,471
Sinners! Sinners!
484
00:28:02,931 --> 00:28:06,059
What a ride!
485
00:28:11,231 --> 00:28:12,816
- What...
- Holy shit.
486
00:28:13,066 --> 00:28:14,818
Look at that crucifix by Reg.
487
00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:18,320
One! Two!
488
00:28:18,655 --> 00:28:19,948
Ah-five, six, seven, eight!
489
00:28:23,576 --> 00:28:24,994
All right, no book hitting.
490
00:28:29,708 --> 00:28:32,419
Ooh!
491
00:28:33,420 --> 00:28:37,424
I've been a bad girl. Slap me for me.
Ooh!
492
00:28:37,507 --> 00:28:39,509
I’m your partner!
493
00:28:40,510 --> 00:28:43,054
Oh! Sorry, doll face, I'm plastered.
494
00:28:43,346 --> 00:28:46,057
I can’t remember the last time
I actually wanted to watch the show.
495
00:28:46,474 --> 00:28:48,852
I know! This was a great idea.
496
00:28:49,227 --> 00:28:56,109
- ♪ I love the stage ♪
- You have to read the Bible! Please.
497
00:29:02,991 --> 00:29:05,368
Tammé! What...
You're supposed to be in the...
498
00:29:06,619 --> 00:29:07,619
You okay?
499
00:29:07,829 --> 00:29:09,664
I’m fine.
It's just a muscle spasm.
500
00:29:10,623 --> 00:29:12,167
How long have you been in pain?
501
00:29:12,500 --> 00:29:14,169
Around... Around this morning...
502
00:29:14,252 --> 00:29:15,754
How long? Do not lie to me.
503
00:29:16,713 --> 00:29:18,506
It’s only four more shows.
504
00:29:18,590 --> 00:29:21,801
Don’t worry about me.
I’ll... I'll make it.
505
00:29:23,052 --> 00:29:25,847
And she's down... yet again.
506
00:29:26,306 --> 00:29:29,618
- Wow, what a gripping show tonight, folks.
- That's your cue. Don't worry about me.
507
00:29:29,642 --> 00:29:30,852
Go get on the zip line.
508
00:29:30,935 --> 00:29:33,646
And now there's only three ladies
left in the ring!
509
00:29:33,730 --> 00:29:35,607
Let's hope it ends soon.
510
00:29:38,401 --> 00:29:40,528
You guys have a great night!
511
00:29:40,612 --> 00:29:42,822
Okay, so your... your mom is black?
512
00:29:42,906 --> 00:29:45,492
- My mom is black, my dad is mixed.
- Wait, what?
513
00:29:47,535 --> 00:29:48,745
You see Justine out there?
514
00:29:48,828 --> 00:29:51,539
Yes! She looks so different.
More grown-up, huh?
515
00:29:51,664 --> 00:29:52,540
Yeah.
516
00:29:52,624 --> 00:29:55,126
Look, I have an actual thing
I have to ask you about.
517
00:29:55,668 --> 00:29:56,669
A favor.
518
00:29:58,671 --> 00:30:00,006
I want you to read something.
519
00:30:01,049 --> 00:30:03,593
- You finished your screenplay.
- Yeah, I did, I did.
520
00:30:03,676 --> 00:30:05,887
But it's... it's not about mine.
It's about Justine's.
521
00:30:07,180 --> 00:30:08,056
Oh!
522
00:30:08,139 --> 00:30:10,141
- Justine wrote a screenplay?
- She did.
523
00:30:10,225 --> 00:30:11,351
And I want you to read it
524
00:30:11,434 --> 00:30:15,563
and tell me what you think about it,
so I... I... I know I'm not crazy.
525
00:30:16,940 --> 00:30:18,233
Of course.
526
00:30:18,358 --> 00:30:20,568
You know reading’s
my favorite Vegas pastime.
527
00:30:21,194 --> 00:30:22,737
Okay. Thank you.
528
00:30:23,279 --> 00:30:26,199
All right. Just take it in.
529
00:30:26,449 --> 00:30:27,534
- And...
- Easy.
530
00:30:27,617 --> 00:30:29,828
breathe. There we go.
531
00:30:30,245 --> 00:30:32,664
Oh, my God.
I can't believe I didn't notice.
532
00:30:32,997 --> 00:30:37,043
Don’t beat yourself up.
Wine hides a lot of injuries.
533
00:30:37,210 --> 00:30:40,296
I can't believe this is the show
that you ended up seeing.
534
00:30:40,380 --> 00:30:41,381
Are you kidding me?
535
00:30:41,464 --> 00:30:44,300
It was so cool.
You guys were like, "Fuck the rules."
536
00:30:44,384 --> 00:30:46,511
It was perfect. And you look...
537
00:30:47,178 --> 00:30:48,179
incredible.
538
00:30:49,013 --> 00:30:50,013
Thank you.
539
00:30:52,141 --> 00:30:53,351
Ladies.
540
00:30:53,434 --> 00:30:56,855
I just wanted to say, what a show.
541
00:30:58,648 --> 00:31:00,650
It was like Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.
542
00:31:00,733 --> 00:31:02,902
You know,
we had no idea what was coming next.
543
00:31:02,986 --> 00:31:06,114
Keeping it fresh
is a big part of live performance.
544
00:31:06,197 --> 00:31:08,700
Wonderful to see you all doing that
for each other.
545
00:31:10,118 --> 00:31:13,538
Well, we... we did wanna have some fun
since, you know, we’re on our way out.
546
00:31:13,621 --> 00:31:17,208
Well, not so fast.
Actually, Sandy, we've got good news.
547
00:31:17,292 --> 00:31:20,628
We would love for GLOW to stay in Vegas
for the rest of the year.
548
00:31:23,298 --> 00:31:25,466
I'm so happy.
549
00:31:25,884 --> 00:31:27,927
- From death, new life.
- Mm.
550
00:31:29,512 --> 00:31:31,973
Uh, wait.
So, we're... we're... we're staying?
551
00:31:32,348 --> 00:31:33,348
Mm-hmm.
552
00:31:34,309 --> 00:31:35,810
Did he say the rest of the year?
553
00:31:35,894 --> 00:31:38,396
O-Okay, okay, let's just, uh, slow down
554
00:31:38,479 --> 00:31:42,525
on the announcements and celebration here.
We haven't even had a meeting about this.
555
00:31:43,192 --> 00:31:45,862
Actually, Sam, we did have a meeting.
I told you and I told Debbie.
556
00:31:45,945 --> 00:31:48,215
And we don’t need a meeting to know
I’m the only one who cares
557
00:31:48,239 --> 00:31:52,243
- about keeping this show alive.
- No, no, you actually care about jugglers
558
00:31:52,327 --> 00:31:56,039
and magicians and whatever fucking
shiny-buttoned faux-producer
559
00:31:56,122 --> 00:31:57,624
who wants a piece of your time.
560
00:31:57,707 --> 00:32:00,084
You sacrifice absolutely nothing
for this show!
561
00:32:03,796 --> 00:32:06,007
Okay, Debbie, here's the truth.
562
00:32:06,090 --> 00:32:07,759
Nobody wants to tell you, but here it is.
563
00:32:07,842 --> 00:32:10,970
It's my name on the marquee, not yours,
which means it's my show,
564
00:32:11,054 --> 00:32:13,848
paid for with my money,
which makes this my decision.
565
00:32:13,932 --> 00:32:16,142
And if you don’t like it,
feel free to get the fuck out.
566
00:32:21,731 --> 00:32:24,460
- Maybe we should move this to my office.
- We don't need to move it anywhere.
567
00:32:24,484 --> 00:32:26,819
Ladies, we'll be extending our run here
at the Fan-Tan.
568
00:32:26,903 --> 00:32:29,298
If that doesn’t work for you,
feel free to go back to Los Angeles.
569
00:32:29,322 --> 00:32:32,784
But GLOW is staying in Vegas. Cheers.
43248
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