Original subtitles

So, you're back now. Like, for real for real?

Uh-huh.

What do you think your new character's gonna be?

Maybe they could make you like a crooked cop character.

I'm Junkchain.

I'm Junkchain.

We'll see.

Come on! Pick it up! Y'all shouldn't be this out of shape!

- Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com --

We need to know why they moved us to that shit-stain time slot.

- Who watches TV at two a.m.? - Yeah, that's the point.

We need to know what they think we did wrong.

Wait, do we have an appointment?

No, Bash, we don't have an appointment.

We're storming. An appointment would defeat the purpose of storming.

- Gentlemen! - Totally bitchin'. Let's do this.

You win some, you lose some.

All right, enough with the platitudes. We're here to talk...

You're here because we replaced you with a men's wrestling show.

- I get it. I completely get it. - What?

GLOW at two a.m., and men's wrestling at ten a.m.

Guys, come in, please, sit down.

You don't have to stand in the doorway. This isn't parochial school.

They gave a men's wrestling show our slot!

And you wanna know why? Hmm?

Truth is, they're better!

They fly higher, they hit harder.

They hit harder because they're bigger. It's physics.

Oh, fuck physics, Ruth!

I need you to take everything you got

and push it all the way to the limit, okay?

I don't know what else we can do. We've been training almost every day.

Okay, Carmen.

I don't need to hear excuses, I need to hear results.

OK. Sorry.

Hold up, wait. Don't apologize.

You want bigger moves? Fine, you'll get them.

That's what I want to hear.

Look, I know this is gonna be hard, but I believe in miracles.

And we are going to make this miracle happen!

Sam, anything to add?

No. No, not at all.

I've added all I could over the last ten weeks,

and I just don't think I could possibly add any more at this point.

Right, so we break our bodies and wrestle harder

- and magically get our time slot back? - Yes! Thank you, Debbie.

Look, I have it from Tom Grant himself

that this is what they've been missing.

So, you met with Tom Grant?

Ugh! Debbie, I'm sorry, okay?

It was a guy thing. We had to the storm the gates. I mean...

Yeah, you don't get back up on your feminist high horse, all right?

We didn't leave you out.

We just think your focus should be on performing this week.

All right? You and Ruth got a big match coming up.

The continuing tale of the bereaved

mother and the insane Russian, right?

And we're gonna be posting more matches later this afternoon.

Oh, yeah. Jenny, I'm gonna need another gold jumpsuit for Cherry.

What? That's my costume.

Yeah, well, we're doing a "Loser Leaves Town" match.

It was Bash's idea. It's gonna be Chola Junkchain vs. Black Junkchain.

Sort of like a South Central turf war.

Okay, enough talking. Let's go! Carmen.

There's a lot riding on you this week. Do not disappoint me.

Let's do it.

- You think they're scared of me? - Tone it down.

- What time do you want to rehearse today? - Oh, anytime, really.

I mean, we could rehearse from sunup to sundown.

It will not make a difference. You of all people should know that.

- Oh! - Chop! Chop!

Your brother's got a nice fro!

Chop! Chop! Chop!

Timber!

Oh! That was crazy. Put that on the list.

Well, I can make up something similar.

- Why can't we just do that move? - The Lumberjack Chop?

It's one of Kurt's signature moves.

If we use it, it's straight up stealing.

Stealing? How?

It's a wrestling move. We're wrestlers.

What are they gonna do? Sue us?

It just isn't done.

Carmen, don't make this any harder than it needs to be.

You're sitting on a gold mine of moves here. Use them.

Hey, Justine. How's school?

Ugh. Who cares?

Sam's film, Gina the Machina,

is closing out this Film Fest at the Highland Park Theater Wednesday.

Really? A festival?

Well, it's small

and obscure and only showing banned horror films from the late '70s,

but it's still awesome.

You should come.

Oh...

I don't know if I should go.

They gave him a bunch of seats to fill, as if he can.

I invited some people,

but I think it would mean a lot if you were there.

You're like...

his friend.

Did he say we were?

I don't know. He just seems to like you more than anyone else.

But it's Sam. It's all relative.

Drag her to the ropes, into a reverse.

Then you're gonna do a suplex.

And then you're gonna work the leg.

Come on!

Lift the leg!

Lift the leg even more!

To top it off, you're gonna do a submission hold.

That's it.

Hold on. Liberty Belle should have the finishing move.

- She's winning the match. - Oh. Well, we'll just reverse it.

Wait, Debbie. That doesn’t make any sense.

You're supposed to be totally distraught

because your daughter was just kidnapped.

You can't win against me the first time around.

If you win, there's no chase.

No chase means no story.

I understand the concept of the chase, Ruth.

But Liberty Belle is on a winning streak.

She's won 15 straight matches. I mean...

Carmen, wouldn't it be a little weird for

her to suddenly lose to someone

- who has ring rust? - Ring rust?

Is that an actual thing or did you make it up to make me feel shitty?

Are you two okay? Usually you do a lot better job

at keeping your weird friendship stuff out of the ring.

It will not be a problem for me. I just hope she can keep up.

All right. Let's do the suplex.

Maybe you should just try that roll thingy

that Carmen talked about earlier.

- Yeah! - Why? So the klepto twins can steal it?

How can we steal it? We're literally in the same match.

It's not our fault you still have to play a terrorist.

Actually, it is. I had an exit strategy.

Oh, I understand your plight.

For I, too, have been the victim of theft.

Right, Jenny?

Oh, my God, I did not steal Phil. He was never yours.

But you know what was mine? That jacket.

What's up everyone today?

We got a big match coming up. We need to focus.

Why don't you calm down? They're just airing their shit.

Calm down? Why don't you calm down?

Oh, I'm calm and ready for our tango.

Yo, stop fucking flirting with me. I'm straight, and I'm married.

What can we say? We're naturally gifted show women.

- You're hams with hacky jokes... - I did unspeakable things for that jacket!

And I know you sewed extra sequins into the crotch area of my costume.

Maybe your vulva is overly sensitive.

Everybody shut the fuck up!

Do you guys want to stay at two a.m.? Is that what you want?

'Cause you guys are wasting a lot of time

talking about complete nonsense.

You wanna know why the men are better?

It's because they shut up, do their jobs,

and they don't talk about their feelings ever.

So, stop arguing about petty bullshit and get back to stretching.

Because this week is gonna be impossible.

Everything is gonna be hard.

You guys might not even be able to walk by the end of all this,

but our wrestling is gonna be great.

Who's ready to do this?

One,

two,

three...

46...

47, 48.

- Get over the shoulder. - Oh, shit!

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, Ruth, I don't... I mean...

Guys, look at each other, communicate.

This is basic stuff.

How many times do I have to tell you?

You gotta get her butt over your shoulder, or this is not gonna work.

Ready?

Yes.

Down, down, down. Yep, yep, yep.

And I'll...

I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but that was closer.

- Yeah! Yeah! - Yeah?

- I don't know what to do. - Wait, hold on!

Yeah! I did it!

I'm gonna huff!

And I'm gonna puff!

And I'm gonna blow your house down!

You hit the wrong chord!

Yeah!

Go hard!

Ho!

Yes!

Oh!

- You ready? - Yeah.

Okay, wake up. Let's go.

Hey, Sleeping Beauty.

Oh, are you kidding me?

Come on, I hate going to things by myself. Justine.

Oh, hey, Billy. Hey, Billy's here.

All right, fine.

Wow.

Unbelievable.

Sleep tight.

What are you doing?

I wasn't sure if you wanted me to sit near you.

So you choose to sit right behind me? It's creepy.

So, should I...

Jesus Christ.

Justine invited me.

Where is she?

Sleeping.

- Is she okay? - I don't know.

Where's your boyfriend?

- Boyfriend? - Russell.

Did he ditch you tonight?

No, we...

never really became a thing. It kind of ended before it started.

Mr. Sylvia, you can intro the film now, if you'd like,

say a few words.

What?

No, I... Yeah.

Just... just play it.

Just play it.

You don't have to go up to the front. You can do it right here.

I think I'm just gonna sit.

- Sam. - What?

Come on, say something.

No.

He'll say something.

This is Gina The Machina.

I made it when I was younger.

I think there is some good stuff in it.

I don't fucking remember.

Is this the song with the anal birth?

Shh.

Don't walk in there. There's a darkness!

You're a genius, Mr. Sylvia.

Oh. Wow. Don't call me Mr. Sylvia, but thank you.

Your use of jumping the line in How It Ate and the dysfunctional...

"disorientation"

disorientation factor is masterful. Justine told us.

We love it.

Justine? How do you know Justine?

Oh, we're all in AV Club together.

Huh.

Okay.

See? You have a whole fan club of teenagers who adore your movie

that they are, for sure, too young to see.

You know, I almost didn't come.

I thought were still angry with me.

I'm not angry with you.

I'm an insecure old man.

I get defensive.

Sue me.

- I liked your movie. - Oh, come on.

- Really? - Yeah!

Those kids were right. It was...

disorienting. You were doing your own thing.

- Are, sorry. You are doing... - No. No, you're right.

You're right. That was...

me 20 years ago.

My hands all over everything, making everybody crazy.

I mean, when I was trying to get that shot of the meat grinder,

I made my operator so frustrated that he quit and, like...

almost threw the camera at me.

I had to shoot the rest of the movie myself.

- You shot that? - I did.

You know...

I'm accustomed to a certain level of failure.

It's just that when a project usually goes wrong,

I know exactly what happened.

And it's usually me getting in my own way

or me not listening to other people.

But with GLOW...

I have no idea why they shitcanned us.

Not a fucking clue. None.

I know why.

That guy Tom Grant,

he called me in for a meeting in his hotel room.

And he...

came on to me.

And I took off, before anything happened, but...

he wanted to sleep with me.

And I didn't give him what he wanted, and...

I don't know, that's probably the reason why. That's...

your answer.

Are you fucking kidding me?

No, I'm not.

Fuck that guy!

Tom fucking Grant?

- What a fucking sleazebag dick head. - Shh!

There's no one in here. Wow!

God damn it.

Fuck that guy.

- You're not upset? - No, I'm not upset.

Are you kidding? I'm grateful.

The show's being burnt out because of a dickhead network president?

Not because of me, not because of you. Because of that asshole?

That's great.

It's the best news I've heard all week.

Oh, man, Tom Grant. Douchebag.

Can you two leave already?

Oh, yeah. Okay.

Sorry.

You don't like the bunny. But you said bunny before.

Listen, I think you're safe.

I don't disagree.

- Oh, look who's up. - Thank you.

- Who's up? You want coffee? - Thank you. Want some coffee?

- Who's got a a new bunny? - You like coffee?

Who's gotta a new bunny rabbit?

- Coffee! It's so good for you. - You want some coffee, little man?

Good morning. Randy, Mark, and...

I'm assuming your new girlfriend.

- Debbie... - Oh, Mark, calm down.

I would just love the pleasure of knowing

the name of the woman you have spending time with our son.

I'm taking a personal day. We both are.

And I'm Susan, by the way. Hi.

Susan? Hi.

- We spoke on the phone. - Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

So did Mark end up buying a bed? And are you enjoying it?

Yes, it's nice.

- Great. - Look, I'm sorry.

It's not how I wanted you to find out...

It's fine.

You know, life doesn't always go as planned.

I love you. Oh, I love you.

Anyway, I have to run. Enjoy the rest of your day.

Glen.

You know he pisses off a lot of people.

Could've been anyone.

Don't mind me, man. Just setting up for both of us.

I know you're super busy.

Hey.

Hey.

Have a good show.

Yeah, you, too.

Hey, where's Sam? He's not in his office.

- Good evening, Ruth. - Oh...

- Justine. - Oh, I'm such an idiot!

I can't believe I fell asleep.

Well, I met your friends. You're in AV Club?

Yeah.

I was in AV Club!

You wanna man the booth tonight?

Isn't that your job?

Hey, yo, Phil!

Phil! Yeah, hi. I'm shooting the show tonight.

Okay? I'm not firing you.

I just want you to give a little more time to

finger my wrestlers backstage.

So inappropriate, Sam.

So, you know, watch the shots. Tell me what you see.

I know you have opinions.

What?

Nothing. You just look so much younger.

Hmm. Shut up.

Rhonda, how are you?! What are you doing here?

I'm tired of getting changed in that locker room.

Okay? I need my own fucking space.

Some of us need time to think, and breathe

and wash the shit of the world off of us

before we have to go be a fucking American princess!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Just save the misdirected anger for the ring, okay?

Sit down first.

Sit down. Take it easy.

Wow, you want a drink? I got a drink. You want a drink?

This is good.

Here. Take a swig of that.

- Come on. - Okay.

- Good. That's it. Yeah. - Oh, my God.

Look at me.

Divorce is rough.

You'll get through it.

You can get ready in here.

I just don't want you murdering anybody, just yet.

This Loser Leaves Town match is really heating up!

It's about to be lights out for you, sucker!

Chop! Chop!

Chop! Chop! Chop!

Boy, there's a lot of chopping

in this crowd, ladies and gentlemen.

It looks like Black is refusing to crack.

She's not gonna let Chola Junkchain takes what's hers.

- Ha! - Oh! Goodness gracious!

Why didn't anyone tell me we were watching up here?

When would we have told you?

During your match or while you were tonguing Mr. Surfer Boy?

Shh! Some of us are working.

One... Seriously, she wins?

You think I wanna be a generic rapper forever?

- Please, it's fine. She can have her. - Two!

Sam, it's a private conversation. Get the fuck out of my ring.

I'm the director. I can be wherever the fuck I want.

Okay. Three!

I can't believe it! In the blink of an eye,

Chola Junkchain sends Black Junkchain packing!

Ha!

All right, ladies and gentlemen,

it's the rematch you've all been waiting for.

Coming into the ring,

- it's Zoya the Destroya! - Let's do this.

Gimme my Savannah Rose back, commie scum!

Savannah Rose?

Oh! You mean Moscow Potato Blossom!

The only mother she knows now is Mother Russia!

Give me my daughter!

Hey, hey, hey. Slow down, okay? You're gonna hurt yourself.

Oh! In an uncharacteristic move, Liberty Belle shoves the ref aside.

It would appear that nothing can come between a woman

and the one thing that gives her life meaning, her child.

Get out of that corner.

- One... - You okay?

Two...

Oh, my God! Liberty Belle brings Zoya down onto the mat.

It's like watching a speeding train. It's riveting.

Go, go, go!

I don't think she's gonna survive the wrath of Liberty Belle.

Wow! This is extreme, people.

Liberty Belle has Zoya in a submission hold.

Will Zoya be able to hammer her way out?

Liberty Belle! Liberty Belle! Liberty Belle!

Ah! Debbie!

- Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com --