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1
00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:16,868
- Hi, we're here for the show.
- Shh!
2
00:00:16,892 --> 00:00:18,894
Ruth, we've got four late arrivals.
3
00:00:19,061 --> 00:00:20,620
Copy. Front row on the left.
4
00:00:20,630 --> 00:00:21,630
Let's go.
5
00:00:21,647 --> 00:00:23,649
Two-on-one. I'm calling a two-on-one.
6
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:28,737
Oh! And here come the Biddy
Sisters, dropping off a clothesline
7
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:31,532
like a bag of dirty laundry!
8
00:00:31,615 --> 00:00:36,453
Would someone please call the ASPCA?
'Cause this is animal cruelty!
9
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:39,873
Excuse me! You can't go up
there. Oh! Hey, it's you.
10
00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:41,140
Hey.
11
00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:44,044
Edna Rosenblatt just
hammering on the Wolf.
12
00:00:44,962 --> 00:00:50,342
Oh, boy, this is a classic example
of nature versus nursing home!
13
00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:53,845
Russell! Let's turn on
the audience, all right?
14
00:00:54,930 --> 00:00:58,100
Phil, stay put. I'm liking
that frame up here.
15
00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:01,979
Hey, find me some
energized faces, will you?
16
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,902
Oh, come on.
17
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:05,899
Ooh. Keep trying.
18
00:01:05,983 --> 00:01:08,443
Hey, you know you're supposed
to lose this match, right?
19
00:01:08,527 --> 00:01:10,654
- I'll only go when it's my time!
- It's your time.
20
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:14,074
And she's up again!
21
00:01:14,157 --> 00:01:15,158
Whoa!
22
00:01:15,242 --> 00:01:17,286
Why is this match not over?
23
00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:20,998
What? I'm working.
24
00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:22,874
I can't find my house key.
25
00:01:22,958 --> 00:01:24,835
In the jacket, on the chair.
26
00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:27,504
And she's down again!
27
00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,715
- One, two, three!
- And she's staying down.
28
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,801
That's it, ladies and
gentlemen, the Biddies win!
29
00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:36,054
It's a victory for the old and aged!
30
00:01:36,138 --> 00:01:41,310
One final glimmer of glory before
they're both six feet under!
31
00:01:41,900 --> 00:01:42,900
Finally!
32
00:01:42,930 --> 00:01:44,459
Are you ever coming home for dinner?
33
00:01:44,460 --> 00:01:46,120
'Cause there's no food in the house.
34
00:01:46,315 --> 00:01:47,733
Just take 50 out of the wallet.
35
00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:51,403
That's a lot. Guess I'll
use the extra on drugs.
36
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:55,532
Wanted to make sure Justine found you.
37
00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:59,119
Oh! I guess she did.
38
00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:02,581
What is it about live taping
that you women don't understand?
39
00:02:07,586 --> 00:02:10,964
So, since I'm not wrestling,
do you want me to do anything?
40
00:02:11,048 --> 00:02:13,675
Why don't you just assume
that I don't need anything,
41
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,678
and that I don't want to see you, okay?
42
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,000
Up next!
43
00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:22,017
The match of the century!
And the show's...
44
00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:23,268
Hey, sir! Hey!
45
00:02:23,352 --> 00:02:27,356
Whoa! The show's not over!
Have a seat, you old timer!
46
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:28,649
Cool!
47
00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:32,778
Is it just me or is this
show dragging hairy ass?
48
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:34,571
It's harder than it looks.
49
00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:37,699
Probably be a lot better if
he put his best wrestler in
50
00:02:37,783 --> 00:02:41,078
instead of punishing her for making
that boss-as-hell title sequence.
51
00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:45,540
And now, ladies and gentlemen, the
moment you've all been waiting for.
52
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:50,212
She's a mother and a fighter, a
true red-blooded American hero.
53
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:53,965
The beautiful Liberty Belle!
54
00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:07,260
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
55
00:03:07,890 --> 00:03:10,059
Liberty Belle, how does it feel knowing
56
00:03:10,060 --> 00:03:12,060
that you won the crown fair and square,
57
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:14,653
only have it stolen
by The Welfare Queen?
58
00:03:14,730 --> 00:03:16,839
We do not work just to see all
59
00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:18,781
the spoils go to freeloaders!
60
00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:20,701
If Welfare Queen wants the crown,
61
00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:23,453
she's gonna have to fight
me for it in a real match!
62
00:03:23,537 --> 00:03:26,581
Does she get better lighting than
us now that she's a producer?
63
00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:29,751
No, that's just the internal
glow that comes from power.
64
00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:33,004
Buy yourself something pretty, baby!
65
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,966
Yeah, wake up, stupid!
66
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,344
Smartest thing you could ever do!
67
00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:45,559
I think the set looks way better
on TV than it does in person.
68
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:48,270
Do you know what it's like?
69
00:03:48,437 --> 00:03:51,523
Ah! Real American royalty!
70
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,401
Are you ready?
71
00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:57,279
Looks like Welfare Queen
isn't fighting anyone today!
72
00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:59,823
Look, I'm sorry you're being
punished for my mistake.
73
00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:02,116
With Sam.
74
00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:06,955
He's angry, and I think that's why
you had to fight Beirut this week
75
00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:07,980
instead of Zoya.
76
00:04:07,998 --> 00:04:10,500
No, no. That's not why. Liberty
Belle already vanquished Zoya.
77
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,210
Now she's chasing Welfare Queen.
78
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:15,297
You're not the center
of the story, Ruth.
79
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,089
Great.
80
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,771
Well, I think the episode
turned out great.
81
00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:21,762
Do you think Sam liked it?
82
00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:24,014
Thursday's show dragged.
83
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,099
Matches were too long.
84
00:04:26,224 --> 00:04:28,894
When I cut away to the audience,
it looked like they'd just eaten,
85
00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:31,205
- like, a big Thanksgiving dinner.
- Sam, sorry to interrupt.
86
00:04:31,220 --> 00:04:32,539
Should I sit with the girls just in case
87
00:04:32,540 --> 00:04:34,190
you have any notes for the announcer?
88
00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:35,871
Or do you want me to
stay up here with you?
89
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:37,860
What?
90
00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:40,155
I'll just stay up here
with you. Carry on.
91
00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:41,697
Okay. So...
92
00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:46,411
from here on out, instead of
shooting five bloated matches
93
00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:48,830
that I have to Frankenstein
together in editing,
94
00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:50,832
we're just gonna film three.
95
00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:55,545
So you'll audition matches for me
the Wednesday before the show,
96
00:04:55,754 --> 00:04:58,548
and I will pick the best three matches.
97
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:02,093
Wait, so we're not all
gonna be on TV every week?
98
00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:03,552
Correct.
99
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:06,473
That was Bash's idea. He thought
you could use the incentive.
100
00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:09,810
Right. Yes. Originally my idea
was gonna be a cash bonus,
101
00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:11,853
but then I looked into it,
and we can't afford it.
102
00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:15,190
But then Sam said, "You know what
else is a great incentive? Fear."
103
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,735
No, competition. I said "competition."
104
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,612
Yes, you did. Classic mistake.
105
00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:24,699
I love competition. Thins out the
herd, encourages innovation...
106
00:05:24,780 --> 00:05:27,599
Great. All right, so
these are the matches
107
00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:30,000
I want to see at this week's auditions:
108
00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:32,499
All right, Welfare Queen, still ducking.
109
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,960
Britannica versus Sheila.
110
00:05:35,544 --> 00:05:37,671
All right? Beirut versus Machu.
111
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,507
Liberty Belle versus Fortune Cookie,
112
00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:43,510
and Biddies versus Melrose.
113
00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:46,596
Ooh, goody! Youth versus decrepitude!
114
00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:48,765
- Define youth.
- Not you!
115
00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:50,851
Sam. Sam.
116
00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:52,018
Yeah?
117
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:53,311
What about me?
118
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:58,024
Oh, yeah. Uh... Zoya versus Junkchain.
119
00:06:00,235 --> 00:06:01,235
Yolanda?
120
00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:04,990
She just started training.
She doesn't know any moves.
121
00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:07,200
She had moves when I saw her.
122
00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:09,179
Yeah, right, I got those kind of moves,
123
00:06:09,180 --> 00:06:11,180
but with wrestling, I'm like level one.
124
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:13,331
Yeah, but you know, between
your "can do" spirit
125
00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:15,292
and her "will do anything" spirit,
126
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:17,252
I think you'll figure something out.
127
00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:20,505
and, you know, Carmen's always here
for help with the technical stuff.
128
00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:23,383
All right? All right,
let the games begin!
129
00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:24,759
Carmen, can I get a session?
130
00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:25,886
- Second dibs.
- Third.
131
00:06:25,969 --> 00:06:28,471
That's not fair. You two
are in the same match,
132
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:30,098
and Yolanda and I need the most help.
133
00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:32,976
It's not a needs-based system.
it's a dibs-based system.
134
00:06:33,351 --> 00:06:34,769
Sorry. Dibs is law.
135
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:37,563
See you later.
136
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:41,067
I think that went well. Hey, Sam,
I've been meaning to ask you.
137
00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:42,903
- What do you think about a team dog?
- No.
138
00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:44,237
- How about a ferret?
- No.
139
00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:46,573
Hey! The next time you boys
have a production meeting,
140
00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:48,176
you want to include all the producers?
141
00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,035
What production meeting? We had drinks.
142
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:51,599
Yeah, we would have invited you,
143
00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:53,660
but someone had to go
home to their baby.
144
00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:58,418
Okay, well, next time tell
me that there's a meeting,
145
00:06:58,501 --> 00:06:59,961
and I won't go home.
146
00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:02,119
Look. We've got six days to figure out
147
00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:03,672
all these matches, rehearse them,
148
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:05,659
film them, edit them,
put them on the air,
149
00:07:05,660 --> 00:07:07,426
before the whole process begins again.
150
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,262
I don't have time to brush my teeth,
151
00:07:09,340 --> 00:07:10,720
let alone check in with you
152
00:07:10,730 --> 00:07:12,514
every time I need to
make something happen.
153
00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:16,019
Okay, well, what about this?
I'll make dinner tonight.
154
00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:18,271
We'll get a bunch of bourbon,
and you boys come over
155
00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:20,075
and we'll all go over
the show for the week.
156
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:24,680
I can't.
157
00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:25,694
I've got a kid.
158
00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:27,906
You're referring to the 16-year-old
159
00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:30,116
you're letting run wild
around Los Angeles?
160
00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:33,745
Oh, my God. That's clearly a priority.
161
00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:35,747
Eight o'clock. She can find babysitting.
162
00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:40,417
What are you doing?
163
00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:45,006
I'm making a suicide
vest to blow myself up.
164
00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:47,049
For the show.
165
00:07:47,150 --> 00:07:48,150
That's my concept.
166
00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:49,678
Kill Beirut, who I hate.
167
00:07:50,900 --> 00:07:51,900
But then,
168
00:07:51,930 --> 00:07:53,431
out from the smoke,
169
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:55,558
a new character arises.
170
00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:57,185
Phoenix!
171
00:07:57,644 --> 00:08:00,897
She'll have like red
and yellow face paint
172
00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:03,900
and these red and yellow
streaks coming out of her hair.
173
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,944
She'll be like a living flame.
174
00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:07,569
Nimble.
175
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:09,531
Seductive.
176
00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:11,241
Ethnically neutral.
177
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,618
I hope Sam says yes so I
can make that costume.
178
00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:14,953
That sounds rad.
179
00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:16,037
Yeah, totally rad.
180
00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:17,579
Thanks.
181
00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:20,458
What are you guys gonna do?
182
00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:21,584
Oh, we don't know yet.
183
00:08:24,546 --> 00:08:26,798
- How about you guys?
- Don't tell her anything!
184
00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:33,388
When I was audience coordinator for
Family Feud, we'd crank up the AC.
185
00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:35,098
That wakes them up good.
186
00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:38,226
Wonder if this place even has AC.
187
00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:43,815
Hmm. Also, you'd have to make sure
the girls don't get too... nippley
188
00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:45,275
Right. Nipples.
189
00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:48,570
Okay. Bash, I will see you tonight.
190
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:51,031
I am going to make fondue.
191
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:55,326
And I gave Sam the address, in
case you guys want to carpool.
192
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:57,245
And just bring your appetite.
193
00:08:57,328 --> 00:08:59,497
Carpool, yes! I've read about that.
194
00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:01,291
Oh, we're having a team dinner!
195
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:03,168
Good idea!
196
00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:04,377
To boost morale!
197
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:06,671
No, sorry. It's just directors
and producers only,
198
00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:09,424
but Tammé, I would love that, next time.
199
00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:12,802
Is it the chairs?
200
00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:15,055
Are they too comfortable?
201
00:09:17,015 --> 00:09:19,434
So, how long would it take
for me to learn that thing
202
00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:21,644
where I bend backwards and
smash you on the mat?
203
00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:23,270
A suplex?
204
00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:26,608
A long time.
205
00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:30,945
We're not gonna get on the
show through wrestling alone.
206
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,491
What if I wear a string bikini?
207
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:37,410
No! I would never ask you to do that.
208
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:39,245
You finally left that life.
209
00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:42,874
Your job is doing G-rated
girl-on-girl in a one-piece.
210
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:45,001
Okay? You're not far from "that life."
211
00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:47,170
I'm not a stripper.
212
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:48,254
Oh, neither am I.
213
00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:52,550
Full-time. Just once a
week, when my ex bartends.
214
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,428
I like to torture her by
taking my clothes off.
215
00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:57,680
You like girls?
216
00:09:58,807 --> 00:09:59,807
I love girls.
217
00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:03,353
Cool. Does Sam know?
218
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,438
Does he need to know
about our personal life?
219
00:10:05,563 --> 00:10:07,565
Does Sam know about you
and that camera guy?
220
00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,192
What? Russell?
221
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,152
I'm not fucking Russell.
222
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:13,112
Wait, what?
223
00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:15,865
That guy has been all over
you. You need to hit that.
224
00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:22,163
I don't want to... do that.
225
00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:23,248
Oh, relax!
226
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,251
Don't be so uptight. Put
your shoulders down.
227
00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:28,670
I'm not uptight. I just...
228
00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:31,923
take my job very seriously,
and I don't need to mix...
229
00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:34,008
- Mm-hmm.
- "hitting it" with it.
230
00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:36,845
Ooh, shit!
231
00:10:36,928 --> 00:10:38,096
This song!
232
00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:40,682
Turn it up, turn it up!
233
00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:42,099
Thank you.
234
00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:45,228
Whoo!
235
00:10:53,945 --> 00:10:54,945
This is it!
236
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:57,740
This is how we get on the show!
Can you teach me that?
237
00:10:58,408 --> 00:10:59,408
You know it.
238
00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:25,560
I'm doing it!
239
00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:34,444
Three, four, five.
240
00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:36,738
Oh, what?
241
00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:39,073
Hey.
242
00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:40,366
Oh, my God.
243
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:43,411
Are you doing a white-girl-trying-
to-break-dance act for the match?
244
00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:45,997
No, we're doing a
white-girl-does-break-dance act.
245
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:49,167
That's spot-on.
246
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:50,919
White girls definitely talk like that.
247
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,089
- Night.
- Night.
248
00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:57,550
Hey, you're not going to
this dinner tonight, right?
249
00:11:57,634 --> 00:11:59,594
Debbie's? No. Definitely not.
250
00:11:59,677 --> 00:12:01,822
Okay, 'cause I thought the whole
idea of her getting a producer title
251
00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:03,210
was just to, like, make the star happy.
252
00:12:03,220 --> 00:12:04,224
It is.
253
00:12:04,230 --> 00:12:06,285
Okay, good, 'cause I'm the
producer, right? I mean...
254
00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:08,311
She didn't even put any money into this.
255
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:09,561
Okay. Come here.
256
00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,649
All right. Okay.
257
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,067
Women. You know what I mean?
258
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:16,194
It's like, first they
want a room of their own.
259
00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:17,837
And then they want a seat at the table.
260
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,757
And they even want us to
come and eat at that table.
261
00:12:19,781 --> 00:12:21,866
Even when that table is all
the way out in Pasadena.
262
00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:24,285
And I'm like, "What
happened to the room?"
263
00:12:38,049 --> 00:12:39,300
Pretty cool place, right?
264
00:12:40,218 --> 00:12:41,219
That's the stage?
265
00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:42,679
It's cool, babe.
266
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,640
All right? You know where I'll
be, in the pit with the people.
267
00:13:01,406 --> 00:13:02,406
Hey!
268
00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:04,575
Great house!
269
00:13:05,159 --> 00:13:07,662
Ooh, I love that étagère!
270
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,310
What are you doing?
271
00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:11,320
I'm sorry.
272
00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:12,625
They're not coming.
273
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,546
I know. I was surprised,
too. I love fondue!
274
00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:22,844
Hey, how are you fucking posers doing?
275
00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:24,595
- Fuck you!
- Asshole!
276
00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:26,973
Thanks to Mr. Toad's
Wild Ride for having us.
277
00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:29,976
This song is called Mourning in America.
278
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:31,477
"Mourning" with a U.
279
00:13:31,561 --> 00:13:32,937
One, two, three, four!
280
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:40,403
♪ Big business, big business ♪
♪ Take 'em for what they're worth ♪
281
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:43,031
♪ Disposable cable, disposable values ♪
282
00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:44,574
♪ Rotting indoors ♪
283
00:13:44,782 --> 00:13:46,784
♪ Fortress in the valley ♪
284
00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:48,870
♪ They're glued to their TVs ♪
285
00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:52,540
♪ My guidance counselor says ♪
♪ What do you wanna do? ♪
286
00:13:52,623 --> 00:13:56,836
♪ It's mourning in America ♪
♪ A city on the edge ♪
287
00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:59,797
♪ A smiling streak of people... ♪
288
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:01,506
Excuse me.
289
00:14:01,758 --> 00:14:03,343
I'm standing right here.
290
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,680
Hello, assholes! You're blocking me!
291
00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:10,725
Then fucking move!
292
00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:20,942
Seriously?
293
00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:38,920
Hey!
294
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:42,382
Come on, let's go!
295
00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:45,259
Justine! What the fuck?
I'm playing a show!
296
00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:48,679
Fuck you, Billy! Sell
your own fucking merch!
297
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:53,726
When you and I fight, it needs
to be the match of the century.
298
00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:55,603
Like Rocky and Apollo.
299
00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:57,063
We gotta build up to it.
300
00:14:57,140 --> 00:14:58,699
Well, I mean, I think we are. Right?
301
00:14:58,700 --> 00:15:00,700
That's why Sam is having you duck,
302
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:02,443
to build suspense.
303
00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:04,821
No, it's not enough. You
guys gotta do more!
304
00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:08,825
Posters. Radio ads. Billboards.
Can we afford billboards?
305
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,535
I mean, I have no clue.
306
00:15:10,952 --> 00:15:12,620
Then find out. You're a producer.
307
00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:16,666
Well, it turns out,
being a producer is...
308
00:15:17,125 --> 00:15:19,502
Well, it's like your plastic crown.
309
00:15:19,961 --> 00:15:22,296
Just because it's shiny
and you fought for it
310
00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:25,133
doesn't make it worth more
than... a party favor.
311
00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:27,802
Those boys don't listen to me.
312
00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:31,055
They will, once you give
them what they need.
313
00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:33,558
Tammé, which is what?
314
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:36,519
I've had a lot of jobs.
315
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:38,688
I was a bookkeeper. I was a meter maid.
316
00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:41,732
I worked at a factory where
they made airline food.
317
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:45,486
And if I've learned one thing,
if you want to be respected,
318
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,072
you gotta make yourself useful.
319
00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:50,950
Unless you're a white man.
Then you just have to show up
320
00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:53,244
and wait around and
eventually get promoted.
321
00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:56,205
You made airline food?
322
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:58,708
Yeah. It was an assembly line.
323
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:01,836
I was on Mongolian beef. At
least, that's what they called it.
324
00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:06,924
Wear a hair net and just doled out
slop all day from a huge trough.
325
00:16:07,008 --> 00:16:09,135
Oh, my God! That's disgusting!
326
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:11,721
Yeah. I had that job for seven years.
327
00:16:13,431 --> 00:16:15,349
It's late.
328
00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:17,018
I gotta drive over the hill.
329
00:16:17,602 --> 00:16:20,271
But thank you for the fondue.
330
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:21,480
My pleasure.
331
00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:24,358
I'm glad we had this...
332
00:16:24,442 --> 00:16:25,818
this nemesis time.
333
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,112
Right? Oh. Whoa.
334
00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:30,072
You okay? Are you okay to drive?
335
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:31,156
I'm fine.
336
00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:33,409
Emergency rations.
337
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,495
Sugar wakes me the fuck up!
338
00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:37,705
Candy! Cheaper than drugs!
339
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,081
Tastes better than coffee.
340
00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:40,750
That's true, everybody likes candy.
341
00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:57,183
What happened to your head?
342
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:00,685
I got in a fight.
343
00:17:00,978 --> 00:17:03,689
I called you to pick me up,
but surprise, surprise.
344
00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:05,316
You didn't answer your phone.
345
00:17:05,399 --> 00:17:06,901
Because you don't give a shit.
346
00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:08,486
I thought it was my ex-wife!
347
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:09,946
Jesus Christ.
348
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:13,324
Leave a message, so I can
hear what I'm getting into.
349
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,204
Oh, what? You're leaving now?
350
00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:19,996
Where you gonna go?
351
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,040
Sacramento?
352
00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:24,710
No. I told you, I can't go back there.
353
00:17:24,835 --> 00:17:26,546
Rosalie's fucking crazy!
354
00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:29,090
Okay, so where, then?
355
00:17:34,679 --> 00:17:37,890
All right, come on. Just...
relax. Just relax.
356
00:17:38,349 --> 00:17:39,349
Let me see.
357
00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:41,977
Oh, yeah.
358
00:17:42,103 --> 00:17:45,231
So what do you... Oh, is this
what you use? Is this the...
359
00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:47,275
the punk rock way to dress a wound?
360
00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:51,320
You should put this on all the
t-shirts. Maybe they'll sell better,
361
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:53,489
give them some real punk credibility.
362
00:17:57,451 --> 00:17:59,662
I don't know how old this is,
363
00:18:00,037 --> 00:18:02,999
but I don't think this
stuff goes bad, right?
364
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:05,417
Okay.
365
00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:08,379
Let's see. This is what you need.
366
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:10,715
You just kind of...
367
00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:13,509
Just give it to the person.
368
00:18:16,679 --> 00:18:18,097
And yeah. Dab it.
369
00:18:21,392 --> 00:18:23,477
All right? It's all right? Better?
370
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:24,603
- Yeah.
- All right.
371
00:18:27,398 --> 00:18:28,398
You know...
372
00:18:29,692 --> 00:18:32,570
Just 'cause you appear and
want things doesn't mean
373
00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:35,239
that I suddenly become
a different person.
374
00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:44,373
Just stay, all right? Just stay here.
375
00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:48,294
You know, we'll have awkward
dinners a few times a week.
376
00:18:48,919 --> 00:18:51,380
You know, maybe once a week, some weeks.
377
00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:53,090
I don't know. Something.
378
00:18:53,591 --> 00:18:55,343
Yeah, I want you to. I want you to.
379
00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:57,240
All right?
380
00:18:57,250 --> 00:18:58,250
But...
381
00:18:58,262 --> 00:18:59,722
you're gonna have a curfew.
382
00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:02,350
Especially on school nights.
383
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:04,852
I don't go to school.
384
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:07,688
Right. That's another thing
that's gonna change.
385
00:19:08,064 --> 00:19:10,232
My kid's not gonna be a
high school dropout.
386
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:12,193
Whoa!
387
00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:14,820
Slow down with the discipline, Pops.
388
00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:19,700
Don't stop me. I'm just... I'm
just finding my parental voice.
389
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:24,996
It's gone.
390
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:30,753
Oh, you're here already.
391
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:31,920
Oh, hey. Morning.
392
00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:38,010
- Brought you something.
- What is this, candy?
393
00:19:38,094 --> 00:19:42,306
It's not just candy. They're Nerds.
It's 1985 candy of the year.
394
00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:45,476
Hmm. Well, I appreciate
you trying to suck up,
395
00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:47,103
but I'm an adult male,
396
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:48,729
and I'll have to say no, thank you.
397
00:19:48,813 --> 00:19:51,857
Oh, what are those? Nerds? I love
these! They're like Grape Nuts,
398
00:19:51,941 --> 00:19:55,319
except instead of being healthy and
delicious, they're just... sugar.
399
00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:57,488
Yeah, so, Sam, you're
not getting it at all.
400
00:19:57,947 --> 00:20:00,157
This is how we're gonna
keep the audience awake.
401
00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:06,247
All right, well, call me idealistic,
but I was kind of hoping the show
402
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,499
would keep the audience awake.
403
00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:10,543
Yes, yes, Sam. Be that as it may,
404
00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:14,380
the performers feed off
the energy of the crowd.
405
00:20:14,755 --> 00:20:16,716
I know, as a performer myself.
406
00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:18,342
Glad you like it, Bash.
407
00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:21,387
So, I have three cases in my
car. Let's just move on.
408
00:20:22,096 --> 00:20:23,848
All right. Let's get started.
409
00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:30,146
Hey! Turn that music
down, you delinquent!
410
00:20:30,390 --> 00:20:32,139
How are we supposed to nap when you're
411
00:20:32,140 --> 00:20:33,982
blasting that portable controller?
412
00:20:33,983 --> 00:20:36,694
It's called a boombox, grandma!
413
00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:40,114
- Oh, we'll show you a boom!
- Oh, yeah?
414
00:20:40,197 --> 00:20:42,950
I'm gonna kick your ass
with my eye mask on!
415
00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:48,414
Send her my way!
416
00:20:48,539 --> 00:20:49,539
Get over here!
417
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:53,127
Take a trip down Memory Lane! Oh, yeah!
418
00:20:57,339 --> 00:20:59,842
Eat Aqua Net, hag!
419
00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:02,219
My skin!
420
00:21:02,303 --> 00:21:04,764
My eyes are burning!
421
00:21:04,847 --> 00:21:06,307
My face is melting!
422
00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:07,725
What? What's happening?
423
00:21:08,559 --> 00:21:10,227
Made in Three Mile Island!
424
00:21:10,311 --> 00:21:13,814
This is radioactive!
Should have been recalled!
425
00:21:14,231 --> 00:21:15,608
- Smoke effects!
- Smoke effects!
426
00:21:17,067 --> 00:21:20,154
- I'm Nuke!
- And I'm Ozone!
427
00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:22,281
We're the Toxic Twins!
428
00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:24,241
We've transformed!
429
00:21:25,618 --> 00:21:28,454
Wait! No, no, no! Please! Please!
I didn't mean anything by it!
430
00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:29,538
I'll turn it down!
431
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:30,998
- Too late!
- Too late!
432
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:40,633
- Hi-yah!
- Oh!
433
00:21:41,383 --> 00:21:44,094
Time to take an ooze cruise!
434
00:21:44,178 --> 00:21:46,639
Mutant metamorphosis! I love it!
435
00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:49,183
- That was so good!
- You think we're gonna make it?
436
00:21:49,266 --> 00:21:51,435
- Oh, we're gonna be stars of the show!
- Hey!
437
00:21:51,894 --> 00:21:54,271
The transformation gimmick.
That was my idea.
438
00:21:54,647 --> 00:21:56,899
I'm sorry, we just couldn't
be old ladies any more.
439
00:21:57,066 --> 00:21:58,818
It was weighing on our self esteem.
440
00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:00,528
But you'll do fine!
441
00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:02,988
I'm sure your version
of your idea is better!
442
00:22:07,117 --> 00:22:09,554
All right, so I guess we're gonna
see a lot of gimmicks today.
443
00:22:09,578 --> 00:22:10,597
We don't have a gimmick.
444
00:22:10,621 --> 00:22:13,499
We just want this to be about
pure, technical wrestling.
445
00:22:14,950 --> 00:22:17,419
So, does any of that technical wrestling
446
00:22:17,420 --> 00:22:18,837
have something to do with a...
447
00:22:18,838 --> 00:22:20,631
shop window male mannequin?
448
00:22:20,798 --> 00:22:23,008
Oh, no. This is just Thomas.
449
00:22:23,217 --> 00:22:24,217
He's my lover.
450
00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:27,680
Yeah, I made him out of spare parts
after a real man broke my heart.
451
00:22:30,057 --> 00:22:31,559
All right, let's see the wrestling.
452
00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:47,741
Ha ha!
453
00:22:50,286 --> 00:22:52,079
All right. Well, that was... good.
454
00:22:52,621 --> 00:22:53,621
So, the...
455
00:22:53,914 --> 00:22:56,625
I don't understand. Are you
gonna engage with the...
456
00:22:57,042 --> 00:22:58,878
- mannequin at all, or...
- Engaged?
457
00:23:00,212 --> 00:23:02,172
Sam, we've only been on one date, okay?
458
00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:05,718
Okay. Next.
459
00:23:06,051 --> 00:23:09,889
I will never sign your peace treaty!
460
00:23:10,097 --> 00:23:12,349
And then I blow... This
a detonator. I blow up.
461
00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:18,522
Shock. Smoke everywhere.
462
00:23:18,606 --> 00:23:21,650
She's coughing in the corner. And I...
463
00:23:22,026 --> 00:23:25,487
Out from the smoke, I
become my new character.
464
00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:27,448
Phoenix.
465
00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:31,539
All right. You know, we've already got a
466
00:23:31,540 --> 00:23:33,940
thing where someone magically changes
467
00:23:33,954 --> 00:23:35,581
into another thing.
468
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:37,791
So... what else you got?
469
00:23:40,169 --> 00:23:43,005
I didn't really have that much extra
time this week 'cause I was...
470
00:23:43,505 --> 00:23:45,174
helping the rest of the girls, but...
471
00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:47,885
What if we reveal we're sisters?
Or ghosts?
472
00:23:47,968 --> 00:23:49,490
All right, so you have nothing.
473
00:23:49,500 --> 00:23:50,500
We have that.
474
00:23:50,512 --> 00:23:51,847
We can speak French.
475
00:23:52,056 --> 00:23:53,223
Okay. Next.
476
00:23:53,891 --> 00:23:56,602
But thank you for your time. Thank
you for your vulnerability.
477
00:23:56,685 --> 00:23:57,853
Next!
478
00:23:58,437 --> 00:23:59,730
Yo, you seen Zoya?
479
00:23:59,855 --> 00:24:02,191
That crazy Russian's been
chasing me everywhere.
480
00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:04,944
She wants to fight me, but I
don't want to fight tonight.
481
00:24:05,027 --> 00:24:06,027
I got plans.
482
00:24:06,654 --> 00:24:08,948
Oh... You!
483
00:24:10,074 --> 00:24:13,077
Why will you not accept
the challenge of Zoya?
484
00:24:13,577 --> 00:24:16,246
Man, first of all, I
don't even know you.
485
00:24:16,330 --> 00:24:19,583
Second, tonight, I was gonna
go down to Beat Street.
486
00:24:21,961 --> 00:24:23,295
Beat Street?
487
00:24:24,088 --> 00:24:25,089
What is that?
488
00:24:25,381 --> 00:24:27,257
Come on, you know! Beat Street!
489
00:24:27,633 --> 00:24:29,635
Breaking, popping and locking,
490
00:24:30,010 --> 00:24:31,220
being fresh.
491
00:24:31,637 --> 00:24:35,766
Oh! You mean American ghetto dancing!
492
00:24:35,849 --> 00:24:39,687
I have always wanted to try
this, but in Soviet Union,
493
00:24:39,770 --> 00:24:41,480
only ballet is permitted.
494
00:24:42,106 --> 00:24:45,734
And being fresh is punishable crime.
495
00:24:46,568 --> 00:24:48,612
Well, lucky for you,
496
00:24:48,696 --> 00:24:50,572
You're in the USA now.
497
00:24:50,906 --> 00:24:51,949
Drop the beat!
498
00:25:03,544 --> 00:25:04,545
Wow!
499
00:25:04,628 --> 00:25:06,046
I could never do that!
500
00:25:06,797 --> 00:25:07,797
Do it.
501
00:25:10,426 --> 00:25:12,803
Agh! I can't! I am too rigid!
502
00:25:14,638 --> 00:25:15,638
Just feel the beat.
503
00:26:35,344 --> 00:26:37,971
You're not bad, for an uptight Russian.
504
00:26:38,514 --> 00:26:42,643
Perhaps audience will enjoy
this alternative to wrestling,
505
00:26:42,893 --> 00:26:45,729
as part of larger entertainment.
506
00:26:46,810 --> 00:26:48,599
All right, so the old
ladies turning into
507
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:50,600
gremlins when wet, that's in.
508
00:26:50,609 --> 00:26:53,362
Oh, no duh! Goes without saying!
509
00:26:55,364 --> 00:26:57,783
And three makes it
unanimous. So, perfect.
510
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:01,787
And with Liberty Belle versus
Fortune Cookie headlining,
511
00:27:01,870 --> 00:27:03,080
we still need one match.
512
00:27:04,220 --> 00:27:05,220
Carmen?
513
00:27:05,249 --> 00:27:06,458
Nah, she had nothing.
514
00:27:06,917 --> 00:27:09,378
What about Zoya and... the new girl?
515
00:27:09,628 --> 00:27:11,046
- No.
- Why not?
516
00:27:11,171 --> 00:27:13,507
Because it wasn't even real wrestling!
517
00:27:13,590 --> 00:27:15,300
Yes, Sam, I know it
wasn't real wrestling.
518
00:27:15,384 --> 00:27:18,024
But you were the one who said you
wanted to break up the repetition
519
00:27:18,095 --> 00:27:21,223
and maybe this is what helps
keep the energy flowing.
520
00:27:21,306 --> 00:27:23,642
Kind of like those halftime
games at the football shows.
521
00:27:23,725 --> 00:27:24,726
Debs, what do you think?
522
00:27:25,686 --> 00:27:27,271
I thought they were great.
523
00:27:28,063 --> 00:27:29,857
No. I'm not putting Ruth in.
524
00:27:29,940 --> 00:27:31,942
Why? Because you're not
done punishing her?
525
00:27:32,526 --> 00:27:34,778
You know she's good. Otherwise,
you would have fired her
526
00:27:34,862 --> 00:27:37,102
and not Reggie, and this is
me, giving Ruth a complement.
527
00:27:37,823 --> 00:27:41,243
Sam, you gotta do what's
best for the show.
528
00:27:48,417 --> 00:27:50,085
Are you hiding from everybody?
529
00:27:50,460 --> 00:27:52,171
Nope. Just you.
530
00:27:53,755 --> 00:27:55,174
Are we back to joking again?
531
00:27:56,717 --> 00:27:57,717
I'm not joking.
532
00:28:01,346 --> 00:28:02,931
Thank you for choosing my match.
533
00:28:03,390 --> 00:28:06,768
I will not disappoint you. Or
maybe I will, but I will...
534
00:28:06,852 --> 00:28:08,562
It will not be my intention...
535
00:28:08,645 --> 00:28:10,397
I can still cut you from the match.
536
00:28:11,481 --> 00:28:13,358
I could just run Yolanda's side.
537
00:28:13,442 --> 00:28:14,443
Just her dancing.
538
00:28:14,902 --> 00:28:17,362
Or I could run ten minutes
of a Christmas log.
539
00:28:18,322 --> 00:28:19,322
Okay.
540
00:28:19,489 --> 00:28:21,074
I'm going. I'm going. Sorry.
541
00:28:22,451 --> 00:28:24,328
Enjoy your personal space.
542
00:28:32,377 --> 00:28:34,004
Oh! What is that?
543
00:28:35,047 --> 00:28:37,674
Nothing, just the cable
connected to the camera
544
00:28:37,758 --> 00:28:39,176
that makes the whole show possible.
545
00:28:39,259 --> 00:28:40,259
Sorry.
546
00:28:40,302 --> 00:28:41,845
Thanks for the tug job, though.
547
00:28:42,763 --> 00:28:43,763
I'm sorry.
548
00:28:44,097 --> 00:28:45,182
Years of porn.
549
00:28:45,682 --> 00:28:47,517
Not funny. And sleazy.
550
00:28:47,601 --> 00:28:49,937
- Let me start over. Hi.
- Hi
551
00:28:50,395 --> 00:28:52,522
Nice to see you. Have a good match.
552
00:28:53,315 --> 00:28:54,399
- Thanks.
- Hey!
553
00:28:54,858 --> 00:28:57,527
Hey, Camera One, can't you hear
me screaming into your cans?
554
00:28:57,903 --> 00:28:59,423
I have nothing on the monitor up here.
555
00:28:59,488 --> 00:29:00,488
Technical issue.
556
00:29:01,657 --> 00:29:04,493
Uh-huh. Why don't you get it fixed?
We start the show in ten minutes.
557
00:29:06,662 --> 00:29:07,662
Did I break it?
558
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:09,164
Let's see.
559
00:29:10,165 --> 00:29:11,165
Okay.
560
00:29:11,708 --> 00:29:14,503
Zoya, who are you fighting tonight?
561
00:29:17,547 --> 00:29:22,636
Am fighting sexy dancer girl
who has moves like this.
562
00:29:25,013 --> 00:29:29,685
I'd like to see Star Wars
systems fight that off! Oof!
563
00:29:29,768 --> 00:29:31,728
Ooh, I'm red scared!
564
00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:58,460
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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