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Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
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DOGS: SUBMISSIVE
AND OBEDIENT ANIMALS
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00:00:43,750 --> 00:00:48,950
HOGS: DIRTY
AND WICKED ANIMALS
4
00:01:14,390 --> 00:01:18,310
You know what?
There's a cool way to pass time.
5
00:01:18,710 --> 00:01:22,790
We can play some game. What do you say?
A little bit of night fun.
6
00:01:26,070 --> 00:01:27,470
Alright, I'll go first.
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00:01:35,110 --> 00:01:36,470
I spy with my little eye...
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00:01:42,630 --> 00:01:46,630
Now you have to ask me
the color of the thing and all that.
9
00:01:46,710 --> 00:01:49,110
Never mind.
If you don't feel like playing, forget it.
10
00:01:49,190 --> 00:01:52,710
It's okay. There's no fucking point
in playing I Spy in the dark, anyway.
11
00:01:54,630 --> 00:01:59,990
I'm a big fan of games, though.
There is a lot of knowledge in games.
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00:02:00,070 --> 00:02:04,950
For one, I Spy is about our perception,
about physical reality.
13
00:02:05,030 --> 00:02:09,110
Everything is a construction of the brain,
and we don't actually see what's there...
14
00:02:09,190 --> 00:02:13,110
For instance,
if you were a...
15
00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:15,350
I don't know, a bug...
16
00:02:16,150 --> 00:02:20,070
a worm, you'd see the world differently
and we wouldn't be able to play.
17
00:02:23,150 --> 00:02:26,470
Parcheesi.
You do play Parcheesi, right?
18
00:02:26,550 --> 00:02:29,190
Well, take Parcheesi, for instance.
I think it's a...
19
00:02:29,510 --> 00:02:34,070
It's a representation
of the failure of socialism. That's right.
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00:02:34,150 --> 00:02:35,750
Look, for instance...
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00:02:36,310 --> 00:02:40,190
In Parcheesi, you get three 6s in a row,
and what happens?
22
00:02:40,310 --> 00:02:42,830
Well, you have
to start over again.
23
00:02:43,270 --> 00:02:47,550
But, if you get eight 1s in a row...
Eight times in a row...
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00:02:47,670 --> 00:02:50,950
What happens then?
Nothing. Nothing at all.
25
00:02:51,190 --> 00:02:54,790
Nothing. And why is that?
Because wealth is not redistributed.
26
00:02:54,870 --> 00:02:59,110
No, it's poverty that is redistributed.
That's socialism, and that's Parcheesi.
27
00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:05,110
You're not into Parcheesi either,
I see.
28
00:03:06,950 --> 00:03:08,150
I don't know...
29
00:03:09,030 --> 00:03:11,990
The Game of the Goose?
Do you play that?
30
00:03:14,070 --> 00:03:15,510
Brisca?
31
00:03:16,390 --> 00:03:19,110
Tute? Draughts? No?
32
00:03:24,150 --> 00:03:25,510
Alright...
33
00:03:30,790 --> 00:03:32,070
Well...
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00:04:43,070 --> 00:04:47,110
CHAPTER 1: TAXI
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00:04:47,190 --> 00:04:49,670
Tell him
not to do his usual thing, OK?
36
00:04:49,910 --> 00:04:51,590
Bye, then.
37
00:04:52,230 --> 00:04:54,310
Damn asshole!
38
00:05:09,830 --> 00:05:11,270
Hi, honey.
39
00:05:13,110 --> 00:05:17,510
I know, but I had
one meeting after the other,
40
00:05:17,590 --> 00:05:20,870
I've been busy,
and couldn't get a signal...
41
00:05:22,310 --> 00:05:25,310
Right, but fuck that.
You know how that goes.
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00:05:27,270 --> 00:05:30,310
Well, no, leave it to me,
I have that under control.
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00:05:38,310 --> 00:05:39,670
OK.
44
00:05:42,790 --> 00:05:46,150
I'm telling you, I'm in a taxi.
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00:05:46,630 --> 00:05:49,910
We'll talk about it later.
Stop brooding over that. I can't now.
46
00:05:52,270 --> 00:05:56,230
What the fuck?
I'm telling you I can't now.
47
00:06:01,830 --> 00:06:03,270
Who? Hugo?
48
00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:07,430
But there's nothing wrong
with tae kwon do!
49
00:06:09,350 --> 00:06:14,790
No! It would be good for him!
It has nothing to do with violence!
50
00:06:14,870 --> 00:06:17,670
Violence is a different thing.
It'd be good for him...
51
00:06:18,150 --> 00:06:19,590
Here we go...
52
00:06:19,670 --> 00:06:24,070
No! Tae kwon do would improve
his self-confidence, don't you get it?
53
00:06:27,190 --> 00:06:28,230
But...
54
00:06:29,070 --> 00:06:32,950
What do you mean ballroom dance?
Sign him up for tae kwon do! Listen to me!
55
00:06:33,590 --> 00:06:35,030
Alright, let me talk to him.
56
00:06:35,510 --> 00:06:37,030
What's up, son?
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00:06:37,670 --> 00:06:39,030
Sure!
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00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:41,510
I'll talk to her, don't worry.
59
00:06:43,190 --> 00:06:45,270
I know, I know...
60
00:06:45,350 --> 00:06:47,110
You want a kimono, right?
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00:06:48,230 --> 00:06:50,550
A white one.
Don't worry, I'll buy one for you.
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00:06:51,510 --> 00:06:52,710
Hugo!
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00:06:53,110 --> 00:06:54,310
Hugo!
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00:06:57,510 --> 00:06:59,470
Who? Me?
I spoiled him?
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00:07:01,270 --> 00:07:02,550
Fine...
66
00:07:05,190 --> 00:07:07,910
Here we go again.
It won't do him any harm!
67
00:07:07,990 --> 00:07:11,110
I got beaten up pretty bad
and I turned out just fine.
68
00:07:11,430 --> 00:07:14,550
Right, I deserved that.
You're right...
69
00:07:16,150 --> 00:07:20,550
No, I'm fine. I'm just tired,
but I'm fine, I'm calm, don't worry.
70
00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:27,830
Alright then, we'll talk tomorrow, honey.
And be good, OK?
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00:07:28,470 --> 00:07:29,830
Love you.
72
00:07:29,910 --> 00:07:31,110
Alright, bye.
73
00:08:05,510 --> 00:08:07,510
There, to the right.
You can stop there.
74
00:08:15,350 --> 00:08:16,710
How much, please?
75
00:08:18,070 --> 00:08:19,270
Here.
76
00:08:26,630 --> 00:08:27,750
Thank you.
77
00:11:01,910 --> 00:11:03,230
Thanks.
78
00:11:12,110 --> 00:11:13,590
A gin and tonic, too?
79
00:11:14,310 --> 00:11:15,590
A gin and tonic?
80
00:11:16,230 --> 00:11:17,990
- Yes.
- It's in fashion.
81
00:11:18,990 --> 00:11:21,790
It's watered-down.
Do you want another one? It's on me.
82
00:11:24,310 --> 00:11:25,830
I'm fine for now.
83
00:11:26,470 --> 00:11:27,710
Thanks.
84
00:11:34,230 --> 00:11:35,590
Business?
85
00:11:36,710 --> 00:11:38,150
Are you...?
86
00:11:38,710 --> 00:11:40,790
No, no, I am...
87
00:11:41,590 --> 00:11:44,550
I'm an international spy,
I'm...
88
00:11:45,470 --> 00:11:47,830
I travel around the world...
89
00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:52,870
by yacht, under stress...
90
00:11:53,030 --> 00:11:55,510
Often by helicopter,
you know...
91
00:11:55,670 --> 00:11:57,190
Light airplane too...
92
00:11:59,750 --> 00:12:02,470
I just roll about, you know,
jump up and down...
93
00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:05,670
Of course
I'm an executive, yeah.
94
00:12:08,230 --> 00:12:10,470
And I had a terrible day.
95
00:12:11,190 --> 00:12:15,030
Tomorrow will be a terrible day too,
and the day after tomorrow.
96
00:12:16,070 --> 00:12:17,510
That's what it's like.
97
00:12:17,910 --> 00:12:19,830
That's why I'm having a drink,
you know.
98
00:12:21,590 --> 00:12:23,350
Before going to bed.
99
00:12:26,470 --> 00:12:28,870
Are you staying
in the hotel too?
100
00:12:29,350 --> 00:12:31,830
No, no. I am...
101
00:12:32,550 --> 00:12:35,510
I live two streets from here.
102
00:12:36,230 --> 00:12:40,470
I was meeting this friend from work,
to catch up on things with her.
103
00:12:40,550 --> 00:12:43,270
But I guess she stood me up.
104
00:12:43,350 --> 00:12:45,270
- She didn't show up?
- No.
105
00:12:47,750 --> 00:12:49,990
Deep down,
I knew she wouldn't come.
106
00:12:51,670 --> 00:12:54,710
But I don't know, I like this bar.
107
00:12:54,790 --> 00:12:57,430
- It's quiet.
- Yes, very quiet.
108
00:12:59,910 --> 00:13:01,830
A bit too quiet, maybe.
109
00:13:06,390 --> 00:13:07,990
I'm Alex
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00:13:08,310 --> 00:13:09,430
Ramon.
111
00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:11,630
- Pleased to meet you.
- My pleasure.
112
00:13:17,190 --> 00:13:18,790
What's the date today?
113
00:13:20,630 --> 00:13:23,990
It's the 24th.
It will soon be the 25th.
114
00:13:27,430 --> 00:13:29,590
Gin and tonic,
you know...
115
00:13:32,230 --> 00:13:34,870
There's all this mystical stuff
around it.
116
00:13:35,590 --> 00:13:40,550
A lot of nonsense too.
This "bursting the bubble" thing...
117
00:13:40,790 --> 00:13:44,230
You know, when they burst
the bubble with this spoon...
118
00:13:44,630 --> 00:13:47,830
The bubble opens
and they say...
119
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:49,990
Well, that it tastes better,
I don't know.
120
00:13:50,550 --> 00:13:51,990
That's what they say.
121
00:13:52,070 --> 00:13:54,710
If you read
the label on a bottle of gin,
122
00:13:55,830 --> 00:14:01,590
it may contain 12 or 14 ingredients,
like cardamom or ginger or...
123
00:14:01,670 --> 00:14:03,270
I don't know!
124
00:14:03,750 --> 00:14:08,710
I have this friend,
a very dear friend,
125
00:14:09,510 --> 00:14:11,510
who created
the "turnip greens and tonic".
126
00:14:11,590 --> 00:14:14,790
- The what?
- The "turnip greens and tonic".
127
00:14:14,870 --> 00:14:18,710
- "Turnip greens and tonic".
- He's a joker. He grabs a turnip green,
128
00:14:18,790 --> 00:14:23,030
he performs all that ceremony
and then he throws the turnip green in...
129
00:14:23,110 --> 00:14:25,110
Can I ask you something?
130
00:14:25,910 --> 00:14:28,630
About gin and tonic,
anything.
131
00:14:35,350 --> 00:14:36,870
Do you have a big one?
132
00:14:44,070 --> 00:14:45,350
What?
133
00:14:50,950 --> 00:14:52,390
What a question!
134
00:14:53,830 --> 00:14:54,790
I don't know...
135
00:14:57,190 --> 00:14:58,630
Average.
136
00:14:59,350 --> 00:15:03,270
- Why do you care?
- No, I don't.
137
00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:08,150
I just like
to make people feel uncomfortable.
138
00:15:08,230 --> 00:15:10,710
And you're good at it!
139
00:15:10,870 --> 00:15:13,030
- It's so much fun!
- Right...
140
00:15:16,150 --> 00:15:18,150
I don't know what to say.
141
00:15:18,470 --> 00:15:19,750
I...
142
00:15:20,310 --> 00:15:22,950
like them big.
143
00:15:23,030 --> 00:15:24,390
Right.
144
00:15:25,590 --> 00:15:27,910
I don't know. They're like...
145
00:15:28,310 --> 00:15:30,070
more appealing,
146
00:15:30,710 --> 00:15:32,870
- easier to handle...
- Sure.
147
00:15:33,910 --> 00:15:36,630
- Not too big, though.
- Really?
148
00:15:39,350 --> 00:15:42,390
A bit above the average
is good.
149
00:15:43,670 --> 00:15:46,390
If they are too big,
150
00:15:46,710 --> 00:15:48,150
- it hurts.
- Does it?
151
00:15:50,390 --> 00:15:51,750
Then...
152
00:15:52,550 --> 00:15:54,070
by all accounts,
153
00:15:54,390 --> 00:15:57,110
because I haven't been
comparing, but...
154
00:15:57,830 --> 00:15:59,590
by all accounts...
155
00:16:00,390 --> 00:16:03,350
It's so weird
to be talking about this, but...
156
00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:07,990
Well, a bit above
the average size...
157
00:16:08,150 --> 00:16:10,310
Well-sized, they say.
158
00:16:16,230 --> 00:16:17,510
Can I see it?
159
00:16:21,190 --> 00:16:23,510
Really? Here?
160
00:16:23,910 --> 00:16:26,470
Yes, here.
In the middle of the bar.
161
00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:30,790
Listen...
162
00:16:31,670 --> 00:16:34,950
You're wearing
this super nice suit.
163
00:16:35,670 --> 00:16:38,070
And that's a silk necktie,
isn't it?
164
00:16:38,150 --> 00:16:40,070
- Yes.
- A bit tacky.
165
00:16:40,150 --> 00:16:41,590
It was a gift.
166
00:16:45,110 --> 00:16:45,990
Look.
167
00:16:48,310 --> 00:16:51,590
I don't think
you should show your dick
168
00:16:51,670 --> 00:16:55,590
- in the middle of a five-star hotel bar.
- Exactly.
169
00:16:58,230 --> 00:16:59,750
What do you say...
170
00:16:59,990 --> 00:17:02,870
about us
going up to your room...
171
00:17:03,750 --> 00:17:06,710
and taking a look at it?
172
00:17:07,750 --> 00:17:09,190
Just the two of us.
173
00:17:10,069 --> 00:17:11,510
In my room?
174
00:17:12,790 --> 00:17:13,910
Now?
175
00:17:22,230 --> 00:17:23,990
And then...?
176
00:17:25,030 --> 00:17:26,750
- What?
- Then...
177
00:17:27,190 --> 00:17:29,990
if you were not lying,
178
00:17:30,470 --> 00:17:31,990
we'll have a good fuck.
179
00:17:34,310 --> 00:17:37,270
But, if you prefer so,
we can go up,
180
00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:40,230
check that everything
is alright...
181
00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:43,230
- And you'll give me a certificate!
- Right! And say bye-bye!
182
00:17:45,870 --> 00:17:47,510
You're something else!
183
00:17:48,710 --> 00:17:52,870
No offense,
but, just to make things clear...
184
00:17:54,390 --> 00:17:55,670
You're not a...?
185
00:17:56,950 --> 00:17:57,990
What?
186
00:17:59,750 --> 00:18:01,670
Once we're done,
will I have to...?
187
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:05,910
- No, I mean...
- Look, man!
188
00:18:05,990 --> 00:18:09,350
I've had a couple of drinks
because I wanted to relax
189
00:18:09,430 --> 00:18:12,230
and I felt like fucking a stranger.
What's the problem?
190
00:18:12,310 --> 00:18:16,870
I'm sorry! It's not every day
that this happens, you know.
191
00:18:16,950 --> 00:18:19,350
I could be your father.
I mean...
192
00:18:19,990 --> 00:18:21,510
No offense.
193
00:18:22,710 --> 00:18:25,510
I'm sorry,
I didn't mean to offend you.
194
00:18:26,150 --> 00:18:27,510
The truth is...
195
00:18:28,790 --> 00:18:30,710
you're right, you could be...
196
00:18:30,790 --> 00:18:33,590
- my father.
- Yes, I could.
197
00:18:44,630 --> 00:18:46,790
- So?
- Shall we?
198
00:18:47,590 --> 00:18:49,670
- Let's go.
- Let me pay for this.
199
00:18:49,830 --> 00:18:51,430
- Will you?
- Sure.
200
00:18:53,190 --> 00:18:54,310
Wait.
201
00:18:55,830 --> 00:18:56,950
Hey.
202
00:18:58,950 --> 00:19:01,750
Keep the change.
Good evening.
203
00:20:28,150 --> 00:20:30,310
- You...!
- What?
204
00:20:36,950 --> 00:20:38,310
Make it two.
205
00:20:38,950 --> 00:20:40,230
Two.
206
00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:19,190
Easy!
207
00:21:19,510 --> 00:21:20,710
Alright, alright.
208
00:21:36,470 --> 00:21:37,990
Monsieur...
209
00:21:45,670 --> 00:21:47,830
No, no tickling, please!
210
00:21:50,550 --> 00:21:53,790
- No tickling, please! I'm so ticklish!
- You are?
211
00:21:53,870 --> 00:21:55,390
- You are?
- Yes!
212
00:22:02,870 --> 00:22:04,230
No!
213
00:22:06,230 --> 00:22:07,750
No tickling!
214
00:22:22,390 --> 00:22:24,710
Alright, alright...
215
00:22:39,190 --> 00:22:40,950
Pass!
216
00:22:55,030 --> 00:22:56,470
Alright...
217
00:23:01,350 --> 00:23:02,710
What?
218
00:36:27,950 --> 00:36:32,190
CHAPTER 2: DOGS
219
00:37:01,030 --> 00:37:06,150
I keep a chest full of secrets,
hidden in the darkness.
220
00:37:07,270 --> 00:37:12,790
And a black leather bag
filled with love and friendship.
221
00:37:14,430 --> 00:37:20,190
I keep a hidden treasure
nobody can find.
222
00:37:21,110 --> 00:37:26,670
And a velvet bag
filled with freedom.
223
00:37:28,470 --> 00:37:34,550
I have a remembrance book
from a friend named Soledad,
224
00:37:34,950 --> 00:37:40,070
a basket full of fears
and a muse that is real.
225
00:37:41,350 --> 00:37:46,670
I have a wooden box
full of things to forget.
226
00:37:47,750 --> 00:37:52,950
I have two wings
that I sometimes put on in order to fly.
227
00:39:24,670 --> 00:39:27,030
You should have your hair cut.
228
00:39:31,350 --> 00:39:34,070
Your father had it like that too.
229
00:39:35,510 --> 00:39:37,270
He looked like a dog.
230
00:39:48,790 --> 00:39:50,230
You're gross.
231
00:39:51,350 --> 00:39:52,910
You don't even wash your hair.
232
00:39:56,310 --> 00:39:58,950
Who's going to love you?
233
00:40:04,310 --> 00:40:05,950
You have to get married.
234
00:40:10,070 --> 00:40:12,870
It's just about time
you start looking for a woman.
235
00:40:13,830 --> 00:40:15,270
Any will do.
236
00:40:17,030 --> 00:40:19,030
Any woman will do.
237
00:40:22,230 --> 00:40:23,670
Being left alone...
238
00:40:25,190 --> 00:40:28,190
is one of the worst things
that can happen to you.
239
00:40:32,070 --> 00:40:34,470
I won't be around for long.
240
00:45:02,870 --> 00:45:04,310
Twenty-four.
241
00:45:38,390 --> 00:45:39,990
The dead
242
00:45:40,390 --> 00:45:42,070
must be buried.
243
00:49:53,110 --> 00:49:54,310
Run!
244
00:49:54,630 --> 00:49:56,150
No!
245
00:49:56,870 --> 00:49:59,190
- Run!
- No!
246
00:50:02,470 --> 00:50:04,870
Fucking run!
247
00:52:37,350 --> 00:52:39,510
If you don't eat,
you'll get sick.
248
00:52:43,910 --> 00:52:47,990
And there's nobody around here
that can treat you.
249
00:53:35,070 --> 00:53:37,070
I don't want
to see you get sick.
250
00:53:41,430 --> 00:53:43,270
I'd rather shoot you.
251
00:53:53,590 --> 00:53:55,670
A shot to the head
and that's it.
252
00:54:00,230 --> 00:54:02,470
It's better to die
while you're still healthy.
253
00:54:11,990 --> 00:54:14,230
I wish someone shot me.
254
00:54:30,870 --> 00:54:33,350
You dogs don't go to hell.
255
00:54:35,270 --> 00:54:37,430
You dogs are not evil.
256
00:54:40,790 --> 00:54:42,550
You're loyal.
257
00:55:22,550 --> 00:55:25,030
Tomorrow,
I'll dig a grave for you.
258
00:55:26,070 --> 00:55:27,510
Next to that tree.
259
00:55:38,150 --> 00:55:40,390
It may take a couple of days.
260
00:55:42,470 --> 00:55:44,390
Here, the soil is hard.
261
01:09:21,910 --> 01:09:23,430
That grave...
262
01:09:23,830 --> 01:09:25,750
We'll do that later.
263
01:09:29,750 --> 01:09:31,310
You're not that sick, after all.
264
01:09:48,870 --> 01:09:51,189
You're a good dog, Doc.
265
01:09:51,750 --> 01:09:53,510
You're a good dog.
266
01:10:01,070 --> 01:10:02,790
Eat something, boy.
267
01:12:12,790 --> 01:12:17,150
CHAPTER 3: DHOGS
268
01:13:57,270 --> 01:13:59,830
Yes, I'm coming out
the door already.
269
01:14:00,630 --> 01:14:03,670
I'll be right there.
See you in a moment.
270
01:14:12,470 --> 01:14:15,830
Roi, I'm going out for a moment, OK?
I'll be right back.
271
01:22:09,190 --> 01:22:14,190
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