Original subtitles

Add infinity to infinity,

and I can scatter the six of you across time,

space, and reality!

You’ll be out of my universe forever!

(Iron Man) Guys, if you can hear me, remember,

Squaddies don’t give up. We hero up!

And if you can’t hear me, well, never mind.

(beeps)

(cries out)

(cries out)

(grunts)

(computer beeps)

We’re back home. Super Hero City.

(beeps)

It’s nighttime? We must have been gone for a while.

(beeps) Like 40 years.

Hmm. Wonder if I can find a pizza at this time of...

Forty years?

(beeps) I’m measuring chronal distortion.

We’ve landed forty years... (beeps)

...in the future!

The future?

Are we in one of those utopian futures

where everything is good?

Or are we in one of those nightmare dystopian

everything-gone-wrong bad futures?

This is Sentinel patrol 616.

Halt and prepare to be destroyed!

Alert! Neutralize unidentified hostiles!

(beeps) I’m guessing bad future.

With this Infinity Gauntlet,

I, Thanos, will rule the universe!

All right Squaddies, time to Hero up!

♪ When the bad guys are out, all you have to do is shout now ♪

♪ Who’s gonna Hero up? ♪

♪ Well, they may not get along, but they’re always fighting strong now ♪

♪ Who’s gonna Hero up? ♪

♪ Who’ll save the day? The Super Hero Squad ♪

♪ They’ll Hero up again ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero up ♪

♪ Wolverine and Hulk are fierce, even Thanos ends up in tears ♪

♪ When Iron Man joins the fight ♪

♪ Falcon darts in from the sky, Scarlet Witch by his side ♪

♪ Thor’s hammer has thunder’s might ♪

♪ Who’ll save the day? The Super Hero Squad ♪

♪ They’ll Hero up again ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad ♪

(groans)

Alert! One unidentified hero and one assistant

or possibly a talking parking meter.

This unit will apprehend the obviously weaker unit.

Hey!

The name is Falcon.

Maybe this will jog your memory.

(grunts)

Whoa!

We’re in trouble, H.E.R.B.I.E. Tell me you’ve got something that we can use

against those robots.

(beeps)

You are charged with curfew violation,

resisting a Sentinel,

and possession of duct tape without a license.

The penalty is termination.

(chuckles)

(Man) You leave those kids alone!

Magneto?

You were expecting maybe Squirrel Girl?

(groans)

(strains)

(grunts)

(strains)

(loud clanging)

(grunts)

You’re a villain. Why are you saving us?

I’m not a villain, I think.

Anyway I’ve mellowed out in my old age

and I haven’t done anything evil in years

that I can remember.

(drilling)

(Falcon strains)

Take that.

-(crashing sounds) -(cat yowls)

We need to fraptazzle before the, uh...

Sentinel comes back with, uh...

reinforcements.

Fraptazzle. It means skedaddle.

Vamoose. Hightail it.

(beeps) My universal translator must not be working.

We need to run away.

Follow me.

I know a place we can lay low.

(beeps) Do we trust him?

Do we have a choice?

(Falcon) The Helicarrier got turned into an apartment complex?

(Magneto) When the Sentinels took over,

they decommissioned the Helicarrier.

-The Sentinels? -Yes.

That’s an interesting story.

You see...

(snoring)

Huh?

(snores)

Oh, here we go. Get off my lawn you rot...

Oh. I mean, where was I?

Oh yes. Ah, the interesting story. The Sentinels.

Forty-odd years odd ago,

there was no one around to protect Super Hero City,

so the people built the Sentinels to protect themselves.

But the Sentinels decided that the best way

to protect them was to conquer them.

The Sentinels took over the world,

led by their new evil ruler,

my daughter, The Scarlet Empress.

(Falcon) Wanda? The Scarlet Witch?

(Magneto) Well, now she calls herself the Scarlet Empress.

Well. Anyway. The Sentinels are her personal army.

I suppose you think it’s my fault for raising her evil.

For all I know, you’re right.

But I honestly don’t remember.

-Prune juice? -(gulps)

I do remember that she’s evil.

Evil!

Pure e...

-(snores) -(horn honks)

That’s impossible.

Wanda would never be a villain...again. She’s reformed.

The Super Hero Squad and I convinced her to become good.

(snoring continues)

(electricity hums)

Uh-oh. There is no Super Hero Squad.

I’ve downloaded the history files.

In this world, the Super Hero Squad never existed.

No Super Hero Squad?

Then why was it called Super Hero City?

We’re not in the future of our world.

We’re in an alternate future reality.

Alternate reality? Another world?

-A "What If?" -(beeps)

You have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?

Doesn’t matter.

I’m going to see Wanda and reason with her.

I convinced her to become good once.

I can do it again.

It’s impossible.

No one’s allowed to see the Scarlet Empress.

She stays holed up in the Vault.

Sentinels outside, traps inside.

It can’t be done. Except...

-(Falcon) Except? -(Magneto) There was one hero

who fought back against the Sentinels.

He’s known as the Man.

A legend.

The Man is the only one who’s ever gotten

in and out of the Vault and lived to tell about it.

Please, no more prune juice.

I might have to fly behind you.

We need to find this guy, the Man.

He can tell us how to get inside and see Wanda.

Hmm. Last I heard, he was being held in Super Hero City prison.

No problem. I have a plan to bust him out.

And by me, I mean H.E.R.B.I.E.

H.E.R.B.I.E., uh, come up with something.

(beeps) Uh-oh.

(Falcon) This is the best plan you could come up with?

(beeps) If you didn’t like it,

you should’ve said something.

I did say something.

(beeps) What was that? I wasn’t listening.

Alert. Identify yourselves.

(beeps) I’m Sentinel Omega Five. These are my prisoners.

Prison block transfer for cell block A-A-23.

Proceed.

(beeps) I can’t believe that worked.

They’re probably holding the Man in solitary confinement.

This way. (farts)

This is the toughest hero in the world.

It’s gotta be Wolverine, right?

No way! It can’t be!

You? Reptil?

You were expecting maybe Squirrel Girl?

Reptil?

-You’re the Man? -That’s me.

Smash a few thousand Sentinels and they give you a clever nickname.

Magneto. What are you doing here?

I don’t remember.

I can’t believe you’re not a kid any more.

Alert! All units!

Escape in progress!

(strains)

Escape in progress!

Escape in progress! Escape in progress!

They’re onto us. How are we going to get out?

Easy.

We’re heading out the front door.

(alarms blaring)

(Sentinels beeping)

That’s it. Good.

Keep it steady, Magneto.

Reptil! Fighting the Sentinel

and coming up with this getaway plan...

That was amazing!

(Reptil) Stick with me, kid.

There’s more where that came from.

(Falcon) Kid?

I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s the truth.

If I can confront the Scarlet Empress,

I can turn her away from evil.

I don’t think it’s possible, kid.

Will you please stop calling me that?

You’re supposed to be the kid.

You’re Reptil!

The happy-go-lucky, relaxed kid.

Happy-go-lucky?

(scoffs)

That was a long time ago, kid.

This is never going to work.

So you’re not going to help us?

Of course I’ll help you.

I never pass up a chance for a good fight.

(stomach gurgling)

(Magneto) Oh. Uh-oh.

(farts)

(car alarms blaring in distance)

(dogs bark in distance)

(coyote howls)

(Falcon) We’re going back to prison?

(Reptil) We can’t attack the Vault. It’s too well protected.

But they recently built a passageway

connecting the prison with the Vault.

That passage is unprotected.

Because no one in their right mind would break into prison.

This will be dangerous.

Then again, who wants to live forever?

-I do. -Me too.

Guess what, gentlemen?

We won’t be needing the disguise anymore.

So it gets easier?

You wish.

This is where it gets hard.

H.E.R.B.I.E., plug into the computer systems.

All the walls and floors in here are armed with automated traps.

See if you can disable the...

-(alarm blaring) -(beeps)

(beeps) Oops, I left the caps lock on.

(lasers blasting)

(strains)

(beeps)

(beeps)

(grunts)

Ahh.

My feet are killing me.

(horn honks)

(grunts)

I’m getting too old for this.

Welcome to my world.

(horn honks)

(Reptil) It’s a vacuum cleaner,

programmed to remove impurities.

It’s dangerous, but it’s not very bright.

As long as we’re quiet,

-it won’t bother us. -What?

Adamantium saw blade.

Run for it!

What?

(grunts)

What is wrong with the future?

I thought the future was going to be flying cars,

not vacuum cleaners with spinning blades of death.

-(horn honks) -That’s nothing.

You should see the flying cars

with the spinning blades of death.

(loud thumping sounds)

(laughs)

Wanda?

No one calls me Wanda.

Call me the Scarlet Empress.

Hi, Dad.

Hi, sweetheart. How are things?

I was having a bad day.

But now that I get to destroy you, it’s starting to look up.

Wanda, wait. I have to talk to you!

Why would I want to talk to you?

Talking is boring.

I’m bored now.

And when I get bored, I get smashy.

(snaps)

(laughs)

All units! Attack!

(strains)

I can’t keep this shield up forever!

Or can I?

No, no, I can’t.

OK. Stick to the original plan.

I need to talk to Wanda and convince her

that what she’s doing is wrong.

I’m with the parakeet. Uh, Falcon.

Yeah. Didn’t I say that?

Then do it!

(grunts)

I hope you’re ready to fight, H.E.R.B.I.E.

-(beeps) -It’s about to get ugly.

(beeps)

Wanda, you don’t know me, but forty years ago,

in another dimension, we were friends.

Yeah, that’s what they all say.

(grunts)

(tires screech)

(horn honks)

(clanking sounds)

(grunts)

Young lady, you may be the ruler of the world,

but I am still your father.

What are you going to do? Send me to my room?

Hmm?

I didn’t realize that was still an option.

(grunts)

Oh, that’s gonna leave a mark.

Magneto!

Now it’s your turn.

(strains)

(grunts)

(growls)

(snarls)

(laughs)

They’re not so tough, are they, H.E.R.B.I.E.?

(beeps)

(laughs)

I know you’re a hero, Wanda.

That’s why I won’t fight you.

Good. It’ll make it easier for me to destroy you.

(beeps)

(grunts)

Snap out of it, H.E.R.B.I.E. Fight’s not over yet.

(beeps) Easy for you to say.

I am not designed for combat.

(beeps) Look!

All right, H.E.R.B.I.E.

You ever see karate masters

who break ten pieces of ice with one chop?

The secret is that they don’t look at all ten pieces.

Just the one on top. The point of impact.

Take this next one.

Don’t look at how tall it is.

Don’t look at how strong it is.

Focus on the point of impact.

(sighs)

(beeps)

(strains)

(computer hums)

(beeps)

(strains)

(computer hums)

(motor powers down)

(crash)

I... (beeps) I did it.

Nice job, H.E.R.B.I.E.

Ready do it another 500 times?

(beeps)

(both roar)

Talk to me, Wanda. What’s the harm?

Fine. Start talking. I’ll listen.

Fool!

(grunts)

(laughs)

I can’t believe you fell for that.

Come on, Wanda.

You’re not the Scarlet Witch.

You’re not an empress.

I’ve got business cards that say otherwise.

You’re not a villain anymore.

It was only a phase you were supposed to outgrow

before you got old.

Are you calling me old?

Wait, wait, wait! No, no, no.

That came out wrong.

This will get you to stop talking permanently.

I know the real you, Wanda.

Where I’m from, you were a hero.

Everyone loved you.

Loved? People hate me.

No one’s ever loved me.

What do they write about me on your message boards?

Great things. They write nothing but really positive things.

Liar! No one ever writes positive things on message boards!

-Well, I won’t fight back. -I’ll crush you.

I know you’re good inside.

I know you won’t hurt me.

I beg to differ.

How do you know?

Why are you so convinced that I’m good?

I took a chance on you once Wanda.

I’m willing to do it again.

(strains)

This again.

You believed I was good,

even when I didn’t believe it myself.

It’s what friends do. We believe in each other.

(beeps)

(beeps) You want some? (beeps)

You don’t want none! Take that!

And that! (beeps)

And some of that!

I’ve seen things that cannot be unseen!

(yells)

Whoa! Easy, H.E.R.B.I.E. Easy.

Come back down. Come back down.

Thank you for saving me, Falcon.

It wasn’t just me.

Everybody worked together.

My word, he’s right.

We worked well together. I guess it’s true

what they say about old dogs learning new...

(snores)

Still a lot of Sentinels out there.

World won’t be safe until every last one is gone.

Then let’s do it together.

Let’s save the world.

(sighs) Still no sign of the Super Hero Squad.

(groans) Dark Surfer is still out there.

The Earth is in trouble.

And the Squaddies could be anywhere.

We have to face the very real possibility

that we’re going to fight the Dark Surfer

without the Super Hero Squad.

Anyone want gum?

I’m sorry.

Being a villain was all I knew.

(H.E.R.B.I.E. cries out)

(both strain)

I am H.E.R.B.I.E.,

a butt-kicking machine of pure destruction! (beeps)

What did you to him?

Nothing. All I did was encourage him to unleash the warrior within.

(beeps)

We can’t leave him like this.

I’m sure he’ll go back to normal eventually.

Eventually?

(beeps)

(cries out)

(beeps) Uh-oh.

(theme song playing)