Original subtitles

(muffled)

Oh, see my new toy, Nebula?

The Reality Stone.

The Cadillac of Infinity Stones, really.

Not that the others are exactly lemons.

(laughs)

I got it from the Collector.

Never saw me coming.

And now he's got an owie collection.

I know. Only one more to go, sis,

and soon I'll have that one, too.

(muffled)

I'm sorry pumpkin.

Did you say something?

(muffled)

Would you like me to remove that gag?

(muffled)

Do-over!

(muffled)

(laughs)

With this Infinity Gauntlet,

I, Thanos, will rule the universe!

All right, Squaddies, time to Hero Up!

♪ When the bad guys are out, all you have to do is shout now ♪

♪ Who's gonna Hero Up? ♪

♪ Well, they may not get along but they're always fighting strong now ♪

♪ Who's gonna Hero Up? ♪

♪ Who'll save the day? The Super Hero Squad ♪

♪ They'll Hero up again ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Wolverine and Hulk are fierce Thanos ends up in tears ♪

♪ When Iron Man joins the fight ♪

♪ Falcon darts in from the sky, Scarlet Witch by his side ♪

♪ Thor's hammer has thunder's might ♪

♪ Who'll save the day? The Super Hero Squad ♪

♪ They'll Hero Up again ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad ♪

(groans)

(muffled)

Oh, that is a good look for you.

Although I doubt your space pirate lackeys

will take orders from you now.

(growls)

Oh, sometimes I ask myself

if it's all been worth it,

these sacrifices I've made because of my unquenchable thirst for power.

Constantly at odds with my family, friendless.

I don't even have a pet.

Well, has it been worth it Than-Than?

(growls)

Woo! Big fat yes! All right, Reality Stone.

(Soul Stone) Uh, T-bone, it doesn't talk.

Only the Soul Stone talks.

Oh, will you just be quiet? He's just jealous.

And Daddy knows you could do good parlor tricks,

like shutting my sister's annoying jabber trap.

(growls)

But let's see what you can really do.

(computer beeps)

The Kree space fleet. Perfect. Do-over!

(Thanos laughs)

You're all babies.

(babies coo)

(cries)

(computer beeps)

(computer beeps)

(engine screeches)

Even my old enemy,

Captain Marvel. Do-over!

(cries)

Boy, sometimes it just all falls into place, doesn't it?

(Iron Man) Gone?

The whole Shi'ar space fleet?

(whistles)

That's what Empress Lilandra said.

Hmm. I think Thanos is making a move.

(baby giggles)

Did you hear that?

(baby cries)

Can you locate him?

(computer hums)

Whoa. Check out those teeth.

It's like he's daring us to find him.

(alarms blare)

Huh?

(alarm continues)

Thou summoneth?

Yes, Thor.

We've finally located Thanos.

(Scarlet Witch) Thanos?

Uh, who Thanos?

Purple Man.

Uh, Big Purple Man?

No, not Galactus. Thanos.

Oh. Whooh. Purple Man.

Talk like Charlton Heston on cold medicine.

I can't explain that.

Herbie, send our destination coordinates to the Silver Surfer

and have him meet us there.

(beep) I hope his mailbox

isn't full again.

(beep)

Okay. I'm going to go over this once more,

for any of you who missed it the first time.

Don't be jealous, little Dulky.

Dulk? Can I borrow your friend for a moment?

This is the Factor Boost Gauntlet I just made.

It boosts the Power Factor of whoever wears it.

Dulky say quack.

And over there in my lab,

I've built an oxygenating field,

so we won't need an airlock any more.

The field will coat you with an invisible layer of oxygen

that will last 20 minutes. Any questions?

Ooh. Ooh! Mmmm.

Mm-mmm!

No questions. Good. Dismissed.

(grunts)

Pick me. Pick me!

So we don't need to wear helmets

in space anymore? Cool!

(Hulk) Ooh. Ooh! Mmm!

Hello?

Well let's see. Here is Mr. Soul Stone.

(gasps) Is that the Time Stone,

the Mind Stone, the Space Stone, the Reality Stone.

And the Po...

The Power Stone, the one that got away.

(growls)

Oh, that's what you're thinking, isn't it?

(muffled)

I knew it.

Well, guess what.

Nothing can get away from me for very long

on account of I've got the Reality Stone.

(blows raspberry)

There's only one way to keep the Power Stone safe from Thanos.

And that's to use my Nova Corps Microteleporter

to send the Stone far away into the darkest depths of space

where Thanos will never find it.

Do-over!

See, see?

I just crossed an ocean

of time and space faster than you can

brush your teeth and...

Oh, my bad. You can't.

(growls)

-Whoopsie! -Gasp!

All right, Thanos,

we can do this the easy way or the hard way. Your choice.

I suppose you want my Gauntlet, Doom?

(chuckles)

When you pry it from my cold, spread hand.

(Modok) Ooh, nice foreshortening.

Modok, give Thanos a preview of what he's going to get.

(snickers)

Sweet.

(muffled)

(grunts)

(muffled scream)

You know, Doom,

(muffled scream continues)

I'd be scared,

except for one thing:

Modok here doesn't exist.

Do-over!

(gasps) And neither do you, Mr. Stinky Poo-poo Pants.

I don't?

Do-over!

You are going to pay for this, Thanos.

Those were my two best villains, such as they were.

(yells)

You... You just destroyed half a galaxy!

B-B-B-Billions of star systems.

Yeah, but it happened so quickly, I barely enjoyed it.

Now you, on the other hand.

(cries out)

So this is how it ends.

Alone, without a single minion.

Blasted by some fathead.

Do-over!

Well, there you have it.

Questions, anyone?

(laughs)

There can only be one big bad.

The supposedly great Dr. Doom,

the worst villain in the universe... ohh...

until now.

(laughs) Et cetera.

What are you going to do to me, Thanos?

Same thing everyone does with snapshots...

throw it in a box in the garage and forget about it,

get 'em out when company comes. I don't know.

(groans)

Well at least you'll have company, pumpkin.

And that's bad villain banter.

Really? Well, then, how do you explain this?

The Cartoon Writers' Association Award for villain banter!

You made that up.

-Wait, no. -(muffled voices)

(Dr. Doom) Nuts!

(Iron Man) Thanos!

Huh?

The Super Hero Squad! Oh, bother.

I'm going to have to get a new Brooding Rock.

Super Hero Squad,

Hero Up!

♪ When the bad guys are out All you have to do is shout now ♪

♪ Who's gonna Hero up? ♪

♪ They'll save the day again ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad ♪

Let's kick that Thanos right in his heinous butt.

(grunts)

Haha, that factor booster gauntlet really works!

(all cheer) High five.

(sighs) Do... over.

My turn now.

Mind Stone!

(strains)

Wolverine? What's the matter?

Can't... stop.

(cries out)

(grunts) Ow.

Wolvie is facing his toughest opponent yet: himself.

A little slow there, Thanos.

Not really a problem

when I've got the Space Stone!

(cries out)

Herbie? Can you hear me?

(static)

I'm lost, Herbie. I need you to blink

the Helicarrier's lights for me.

The brights, Herbie! I'm running out of oxygen!

(Iron Man) Wolvie, stop!

(strains)

Ooh.

(both strain)

Ooh. This gives me an idea.

Power Stone!

(grunts)

Hey, what's he doing to us?

Turning us into a giant pretzel, that's what.

This ain't gonna stop me.

I got Adamantine bones, remember?

Yeah, well, I don't.

Ow! Wave two, attack!

The son of Odin... that's me...

will not see his comrades turned into street food

by some cosmic pretzel vendor!

(grunts)

(loud crash sounds)

Purple Man.

Yeah, yeah. "Purple Man hurt friends. Hulk smash."

Just hit him, okay?

(grunts)

(growls)

Power Stone!

(grunts)

(grunts intensify)

We're running out of oxygen.

And air, too!

What happen when no more oxygen?

(squeals)

This.

(Hulk groans)

Oh, looks like someone's wah-wah hurts.

You know the old saying

"You'll wish you were never born"?

I just thought of this. When I get done with you,

you will never have been born.

I mean, come on, that's... (grunts)

Come on, everybody, we need to get back to the Helicarrier.

(Thanos coughs)

Now, about that whole

"never having been born" thing.

(Thanos) Oh, oh, oh, oh! I have a good one.

If I make it that none of you ever existed,

will I have any memory of you?

Let's find out.

(gasps)

(grunts)

I believe this is what humans call a last-minute save.

(grunts)

Ow-ow-ow-ow.

(cries out)

All right, everybody. The Silver Surfer's got it covered.

Let's get back to the Helicarrier!

(grunts)

Surfer! How about we settle this one-on-one,

you know, mano a mano?

One-on-one is a righteous configuration.

Whatever. If I win, your Infinity Sword is mine.

If you win.

Against a sap like you? Pff.

A few minutes from now,

I will have the Infinity Gauntlet and the Infinity Sword.

I'll be unstoppable times infinity!

That's not even a number.

Shake?

You're kidding, right?

You want a fair fight, don't you?

(sighs) Okay.

Whoa! You call that fair?

Who's the sap now?

You are not a good guy!

-You are actually worse than me... -Time Stone!

Listen, you just don't have what it takes

to be the all-powerful evil ruler of the universe.

All you really care about is throwing tantrums.

Thank you.

Hey, it's nothing, and I mean that because...

(laughs)

(grunts)

(man) Thanos,

you're going to be imprisoned here in the Soul Stone forever,

just as I am.

Well, Mr. Bitter Pill. Who are you?

You know who I am.

The man you stole the soul stone from.

Adam Warlock.

(both strain)

By the Mackerel!

Thor hath never seen such a mess.

Not even in the Augean Stables.

(both strain)

Pull, Big Hammer!

No, wait. It's more complicated than that!

-(growls) -(groans)

(cries out)

(screaming continues)

(panting)

You all right?

(groans)

Where you had your foot?

Don't ever put it there again, bub.

Uh, that was your foot.

Eww.

My Infinity Sword, I hope you're happy.

You've thoroughly corrupted me.

And I like it!

(laughs)

(grunts)

(groans)

All right, everybody. Let's get some more oxygen

and go out there again. The surfer needs us.

What Shiny doing?

Lately, Hulk, you've been asking all the right questions.

With the combined power of the Infinity Gauntlet...

Ha!... and the Infinity Sword,

I am the master of all!

He... He's gone villain.

Thank you!

-Surfer? -Did I just hear something?

Some insignificant little squeak?

It was me, and it wasn't a squeak.

It couldn't have been anything important,

because what could you possibly say

that would matter in the slightest to me?

Uh-oh. Even Hulk know where this going.

Surfer, we all came from different places,

but we've been through a lot together.

We're all friends now,

and friends don't let friends conquer the universe.

You're right about one thing.

We all did come from different places.

And now I'm headed to an even more different place.

It's a place where even you, who once called me Squaddie,

are but a pimple on a gremmie's backside,

compared to my surferous power.

From now on, call me...

Dark Surfer!

(laughs)

Huh. What Hulk tell you?

If you're so smart, what do we do now?

Who say Hulk smart?

Yea. Verily.

You know what I just did?

I erased another third of the universe

with a wave of my hand.

Aww!

The part that included Galactus.

Mm-mm.

Most definitely, the Dark Surfer rules!

(cries out)

You blasted metal-plated...

(grunts)

(groans)

Dark Shiny hurt Claw!

(roars)

Power Stone!

(strains)

(cries out)

Um... Uh... Oh.

Time Stone!

I could leave you all like this.

But everyone knows that,

just like Act Three

always follows Act Two,

something will come along to unfreeze you.

I need something permanent, but what?

Add infinity to infinity,

and I can scatter the six of you across time, space, and reality!

You'll be out of my universe forever!

(laughs)

(exclaims)

(Iron Man) Herbie! Get a message to Earth!

(beeps)

(cries out)

(grunts)

(yells)

(roars)

(strains)

(Iron Man) Guys! If you can hear me, remember,

Squaddies don't give up. We Hero Up!

And if you can't hear me,

well, never mind!