Original subtitles

(gasps)

That's one for them.

One, two, three for me. (laughs)

This isn't working.

It's like shooting marshmallows at a mountain.

And the rest of Nova Corps has already been defeated.

There's only one thing left to try.

Okay, it is 27 left, 32 right, 15 left.

Or was it 12 left, 49 right, 17 left?

Aha! Got it. The Power Stone.

Oh, you beautiful thing, you come to Nova.

Got to use the Stone to boost the laser's power.

If this doesn't work, Nova Corps is finished, and galaxies left unprotected.

(laser cannon fires)

(rumbling)

Nothing.

The gun didn't even make a dent.

I got to get a message out while there's still time.

Okay, ball, you know where to go. Now get out of here.

(beeps)

(snores)

(snores) Name's Tony. Come here often?

(snores)

(both gasp)

Help us, Iron Man. We need you. You're our only hope.

With this Infinity Gauntlet I, Thanos, will rule the universe.

All right, Squaddies, time to hero up.

♪ When the bad guys are out, All you have to do is shout now ♪

♪ Who's gonna hero up? ♪

♪ Well, they may not get along But they're always fighting strong now ♪

♪ Who's gonna hero up? ♪

♪ Who'll save the day? The Super Hero Squad ♪

♪ They'll hero up again ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero up ♪

♪ Wolverine and Hulk are fierce Thanos ends up in tears ♪

♪ When Iron Man Joins the fight ♪

♪ Falcon darts in from the sky, Scarlet Witch by his side ♪

♪ Thor's hammer Has thunder's might ♪

♪ Who'll save the day? The Super Hero Squad ♪

♪ They'll hero up again ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad ♪

(groans)

-(strains) -Lots of strong guys.

But where other Squaddies?

Falcon, Wolverine, and Scarlet Witch

are off helping Storm contain a flood in Florida.

So, my armored ally, why has thou summoned the Eagle of Asgard

and this, uh, this Olympian?

(chuckles)

The incomparable Hercules is thine equal in strength any day of the week,

Norseman strong? You both wrong.

Hulk strongest one there is.

Hah! Count it.

Guys, please, you're both big, strong men.

Right now, I have something to show you.

Looks like we've found a clue to where Thanos is hiding.

Help us, Iron Man. We need you.

You're our only hope, our only hope, our only hope, our only hope. (beeps)

That's Nova of the Nova Corps.

They're an intergalactic law enforcement agency.

Thanos doesn't take kindly to law and order,

so he's been systematically eliminating the Novas.

According to the star chart contained in this Holoball,

they're making their last stand at the Thermopylae Nova, here.

Ooh, Hulk like this movie. Where popcorn?

Uh-uh! (beeps)

Hercules, I asked you to join us because we're going to need

all the Strength Factor we can muster for this mission.

Yes, thou art strong indeed, my friend. (chuckles) My eyes doth water.

I'll supply the Tech Factor. Oh, and I'm adding one more ringer.

C'mon in and meet the rest of the crew.

(thud)

I'm sure most of you remember the sensational She-Hulk?

Uh, girl Hulk?

Come on, Hulk. I'm your cousin, remember?

I've known you since we were kids.

Hulk remember girl Hulk now.

(laughs)

We went to different schools.

So, Iron Man, how come you never called?

(whistles) Awkward.

(beeps)

Oh, yeah, I washed my armor and your number was in the pocket.

Let's go, Squaddies.

We've got to get to Nova Corps Space.

Looks like we're too late.

-(loud bang) -(gasps)

-(alarms sound) -(rumbling)

Who wouldst dare?

It's the last two remaining Nova Corps Drone Ships.

They must think we're with Thanos.

Thor, you and I better stop them before they damage the Helicarrier.

Verily, no drone shall escape the power of mighty Mjolnir.

He couldn't have named that hammer something you can pronounce?

Heh, you know how he is.

Try not to destroy the ship while we're gone, okay fellas?

Ah, you can depend on the Lion of Olympus, Tin Man.

To do what, exactly?

You are starting to vex me, zoftig one.

(both growl)

(growling continues)

(cries out) Take Hulk with you!

(grunts) Not so fast, robot spaceship.

(grunts)

(strains)

Hey, how'd you do that? There's no air in space to create a vortex.

'Tis good to be an Asgardian. (laughs)

Look, Thor, we're receiving another holograph image from Nova.

How is that possible?

It's in the script.

To the Super Hero Squad, thank you for your efforts,

but if you are seeing this, you're too late,

and I'm Thanos' prisoner. Thanks.

I say thee nay.

So long as the Eagle of Asgard doth live villainy shall never win the day.

If you feel like coming to rescue me,

please come quick, he's making me do commercials.

Preceding message has been brought to you

by Kludge Cola Kludge, it's just plain delicious.

Thor, our mission is now crystal clear:

we have to find and rescue Nova.

(beeps, clears throat)

For you. (beeps)

Oh, no. I am... am... am... (sneezes) Allergic.

Sorry about that.

(beeps)

So, your fancy galactic police force, the Nova Corps,

didn't count for much in the end, did it? Huh?

No, not really. Did it count? No, no, not per se.

(sighs) Why are you doing this?

What do you want from me?

Well, that one is simple to answer.

I want this.

The power stone, mine at last.

You space cops had itin your hands

and had no clue how to utilize its true power. (laughs)

Once I have all the Infinity Stones, I will control the universe!

Even New Jersey.

(laughs)

You'll never take New Jersey!

There are people who will stop you.

-Really? What people? -(loud crash, rumbling)

Those people.

Whoa! What's this? Wait. Wait. Wait.

Curses. I hate those Squaddies.

All ships, attack and destroy!

Squaddies, time to hero up!

♪ When the bad guys are out, All you have to do is shout now ♪

♪ Who's gonna Hero up? ♪

♪ They'll save the day again ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad! Hero up ♪

(grunts)

(chuckles)

(grunts)

Bravo! (laughs)

(grunts)

(grunts)

(yells)

(grunts)

Stop!

Destroy one more ship and I destroy this one kneeling before me.

Heroes are so pretty when they explode.

Retreat immediately

if you don't want me to reshape Nova's helmet with him still in it.

He's embellishing. Don't listen to him.

Stand down, Squaddies.

Thanos has us between an Infinity Gauntlet and a hard place.

(laughs)

(groans)

Step aside, Olympian. Verily, I doth pace here.

No way, you big blond boob.

Isn't this ship big enough for both of you?

Nay, not us both and his ego.

All right heroes, gather 'round. I've used my Tech Factor to work out a plan.

(beeps)

Does Hulk get to smash in plan?

(chuckles) What do you think, big guy?

Uh, Hulk don't know.

Oye, give me strength.

That thou hast, mighty damsel, in spades.

(beeps)

Okay, we're going to use my Tech Factor

to sneak onto Thanos's ship in two teams.

Thor, Hercules, and Hulk will go directly after Thanos and the Power Stone.

Aye, butts shall be kicked today.

Hah! The Son of Odin shall not fail thee.

She-Hulk, you, and I will focus on flirting, and rescuing Nova.

Could be fun.

-Yes? -(beeps)

-Lunch? -(beeps)

We are machines, remember? We do not eat.

-(beeps) -Did I say, uh-huh, eat?

-Who said eat? -I did.

(beeps)

(scoffs)

(groans)

Okay, it's safe to breathe now.

(long exhale)

Much better.

I was starting to turn turquoise.

(door opens)

Just bear with me a second.

This molecular bioscanner will search the entire ship

and tell us where they're holding Nova.

Is there anything you don't have a gizmo for?

Well, I've been working on an automatic cheese straightener.

(laughs) How come you never called?

Yeah, about that, you're really special,

but I have this thing about dents.

Oh, that!

Bingo. He's in a cargo hold deep within the ship.

Then what are we waiting for?

(alarm sounds)

(alarm sounds continue)

Well, for one thing, not getting sliced into sushi would be good.

By Odin's overflowing lunch pail, we hath made entry.

(sniffs)

Ugh. Air smell like feet in here.

That is your feet, gangrene.

Come, let's find Thanos that we might smite him mightily.

Oh, I'm going to give him such a smite.

-(yells) -(grunts)

-(clanging) -(thud)

(grunts)

-(crash) -(rumbling)

Naught that lives, or makes scary, mechanical, buzzy noises,

can stand against the strength of mighty Mjolnir.

(electricity surges)

No, Big Hammer stupid.

Hulk the strongest one there is!

(grunts)

You're both like little babies next to the Lion of Olympus.

Opa!

(alarm sounds)

Let's do something fast. I just had this armor polished.

Hang on. I've got an idea.

-(grunts) -Nice.

No biggie. I just noticed the lasers had no effect on the walls.

Let's get to Nova. He's probably missed his lunch by now.

(whistles)

(whistling continues)

(grunts, growls)

(thud)

Iron Man. She-Hulk. You came.

Great. There he is, just where my bioscanner said he'd be.

I am so sick of robot guards.

(grunts)

We'd have brought you lunch, but this armor doesn't have any pockets.

Don't worry. Come on.

We've got to get to the command bridge

and stop Thanos before it's too late.

Stop them. Can't you stop them?

What am I paying you people for?

Monster most foul. Thy days of vile villainy art at an end.

Surrender whilst thou still can.

Surrender, Shakespeare, really?

Power Stone!

(all grunt)

Quick, while the Squaddies are grunting, squash them like bugs.

(Thor) Thou art the bug, my prune-faced foe.

(grunts)

(scuffling sounds)

(thud)

Power Stone.

(all strain)

Enough of this jibber-jabber. I hate jibber-jabber. I also hate broccoli.

Ooh, and lima beans, too.

(all strain)

It's time to put an end to this once and for all.

(all strain)

(beeps) There she is.

Um, the robot of my, um, dreams.

Yes?

I can deny it no longer.

I love you and want you to be mine.

Oh, well, I like you too, but not in that way.

Besides, I already have a boyfriend.

(beeps)

(all strain)

(laughs)

Yo, pudding-puss.

More Heroes?

What can I say? We travel in packs.

Back off,

or there won't be enough of your three friends left to stuff into my Soul Stone.

Great, now what?

I thought you were the one with all the answers.

Hah!

So long as I have the Power Stone,

there is nothing in this universe that can stop me.

(grunts)

What wizardry is this?

What the... The Power Stone, missing? But how?

They call me the Human Rocket for a reason, goofy grape.

Yeah, you wanna make something of it?

(grunts)

And this day started out so well, too.

There's only one way to keep the Power Stone safe from Thanos.

And that's to use my Nova Corps Microteleporter

to send the Stone far away,

into the darkest depths of space, where Thanos will never find it.

(beeps)

(electricity surges)

Hey, you guys don't play fair.

Oh, this won't stop me.

Some day, somehow, the Power Stone will be mine.

Wait till you hear this laugh.

(guffaws)

Should we be worried?

I think not, asparagus-colored one.

Then we should be worried.

I just want to thank you all.

Your timing could have been a little better,

but I never could have done this without you.

Nova, you'd make a fine member of the Super Hero Squad.

Wow! I'm honored by the offer, but my duty is to protect all of space.

I'm afraid I'll have to pass.

Well, it wasn't an offer, just an observation.

Still thou wilt always be welcome in the hallowed halls of Asgard.

Just remember to call first, okay? (chuckles)

Oh, and bring a nice cookie assortment.

But I pray thee, with no nuts.

(Iron Man) Come on, Squaddies. Our work here is done.

(Thor sighs)

Verily, 'twas a most glorious adventure.

I did kick much cosmic butt.

Though I did kick considerably more than you.

(grunts) Hulk kicked most butt of all.

Seven twenty-two, seven twenty-three...

(groans, beeps)

(beeps)

(groans, beeps)

(Scarlet Witch sneezes)