Original subtitles

[MUSIC PLAYS]

♪ I've really got to use ♪

♪ my imagination ♪

♪ to think ♪ ♪ of good reasons ♪

♪ to keep on keeping on ♪

♪ keep on keeping on, ♪

-♪ got to make the best of ♪ - ♪ best of, best of ♪

- ♪ a bad situation ♪ - ♪ bad situation. ♪

♪ Ever since that day ♪

♪ I woke up and found ♪ ♪ that you were gone ♪

♪ gone, gone ♪

♪ darkness all around me ♪

♪ blacking out the sun. ♪

♪ Old friends call me ♪

♪ but I just don't feel ♪ ♪ like talking to anyone. ♪

♪ Emptiness has found me ♪

♪ and it just won't let me go ♪

♪ go right on living ♪

♪ but why, I just don't know. ♪

- [APPLAUSE] - [M.C.:] Ladies and gentlemen

the moment we've all been waiting for

the one, the only Linda Lovelace!

[APPLAUSE]

- [WOMAN:] What's your name? - "Linda Lovelace."

[WOMAN:] I meant what's your real name?

- [LINDA:] That's my real name. - [WOMAN:] So what did you do

before you were the first ever pornographic film superstar?

How does it feel to be the poster girl

for the sexual revolution?

The pornographic film "Deep Throat"

has become one of the most popular

and profitable blue movies of all time.

Today a Manhattan criminal court judge ruled the film obscene

and ordered it removed from theaters in New York City.

This is kind of a strange country, isn't it? Judges can see "Deep Throat"

- but they can't listen to those tapes. - [MAN:] "Deep Throat"

a trendsetting film that brought pornography into popular culture.

How did you become "Linda Lovelace" in the first place

if you were born as "Linda Boreman"?

[MAN 2:] I think you can be a star

and I don't mean just an adult-movie star

I mean, a real star

[MAN 3:] Is your name "Linda Lovelace"?

[WOMAN:] So tell me

who's the real Linda Lovelace?

♪ Just give me some ♪ ♪ kind of sign, girl ♪

♪ oh, my baby, to show me ♪ ♪ that you're mine, girl. Oh, Yes ♪

[ON RADIO:] ♪ Just give me ♪ ♪ some kind of sign, girl ♪

♪ oh, my darling, to show me ♪ ♪ that you're mine, girl. ♪

♪ All right. ♪ ♪ So if you do want me ♪

♪ give me little sweet talk. ♪ ♪ If you don't want me ♪

♪ Don't lead me on, girl. ♪

♪ But if you need me ♪ ♪ show me that you love me ♪

♪ and when I'm feeling down ♪

- No! Patsy! Come on. - Jeez! Come on, Miss "Holy-Holy"!

- Do you want to get tan lines? - mm.

You're going to thank me later.

So have you slept with that guy yet?

- No. Patsy, come on. - Don't be such a prude.

- You're 21 years old. - A prude?

How am I a prude? I think I've learned

my lesson that one time, thank you very much.

There are other things that you can do.

ugh I don't even know how to talk to you any more.

- Seriously, that's disgusting. - [LAUGHS]

- That's disgusting. - [BOTH LAUGH]

- [WOMAN:] Linda! - Shit! Is that your mom?

I thought, you said she was at work.

- Linda... - Take this, please.

- Yes. - Put it out.

Linda, are you out at the back?

Honestly, what is this? A nudist colony?

- What are you wearing? - Ma!

Get in the house.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

♪ I'm going to be out all night ♪

♪ I'm going to be out all night ♪

OK? Because everybody's going fast.

- Ready? - Ready.

- Careful. - All I can see is your butt.

[BOTH LAUGH]

[SHRIEKS] Oh, my God!

A cool band! They're missing something, though

- don't you think? - Like what?

- Go-go dancers. [LAUGHS] - Are you volunteering?

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ I've never met a girl ♪ ♪ who makes me feel ♪

- Come on, babe. - ♪ the way that you do. ♪

- Move your hips! - ♪ You're all right. ♪

♪ Whenever I'm asked ♪ ♪ what makes my dreams real ♪

- ♪ I tell, them you do. ♪ - Feel it!

♪ So "fee-fi-fo-fum" ♪

♪ Look out, baby ♪ ♪ because here I come. ♪

♪ Now I'm bringing you ♪ ♪ a love that's true. ♪

-♪ So get ready ♪ -♪ Get ready. ♪

- ♪ because here I come ♪ - ♪ Get ready ♪

♪ because here I come ♪

[BOTH LAUGHING]

- Actually, like... - Do that again.

- I know. - You enjoyed it.

I need, like, a week off.

- [MAN:] You two move pretty good up there. - Thanks.

Do you ever think about doing that professionally?

[SCOFFS] Yes, right.

Yes! Dancing girls in Vegas make 2 or 300 bucks a night.

What? Ha! Someone would pay that much to see me dance?

- I would. - [BOTH LAUGH]

I'm "Chuck Traynor", by the way.

- I'm "Patsy". - "Linda".

- Do you guys smoke grass? - Yes, sure.

Patsy, I have to go home now.

It's a little bit of grass. Come on, babe.

OK.

I'm good.

In accordance with your hopes

mindful of your concerns

sustained by your prayers

- thank you, and good night. - Thanks, honey.

[MAN:] President Nixon addressing the nation live from

'Bye, Mom. 'Bye, Dad. See you later. I'm going.

Linda!

Where do you think you're going?

The beach.

It's dark!

And what on Earth do you have on!

- It's a party. - And whose party is it?

I'm going with Patsy and her boyfriend, "Ray". It's a friend of his.

- And what does this "Ray" do? - I don't know, Ma.

It's not like I made him fill out a questionnaire.

mm-mm

I think Patsy said he was a bartender. All right?

But I did tell them that I had to be home by 11:00 on the nose.

Any later, and I'll call you, I swear to God.

- See you, sweetheart. - [GUITAR PLAYING]

♪ How long have we been ♪

♪ traveling, my friend? ♪

The French Connection. ♪

Do you know that one?

- The one with that guy? - Exactly.

My God! I was so stoned when I saw that!

I couldn't figure out what was going on.

I kept expecting there to be subtitles.

- Yes, there weren't. - No, I know.

They were speaking American.

No, but by the time I figured that out

it was, like, halfway through the movie.

Hey, guys. Let's go skinny-dipping.

No! I've got to go, so

- What? - Yes.

You're such a drag. [LAUGHS]

We're going to go. whoo

[PATSY:] Come on. I'm going in!

- [BOY:] Jump in! - [SIGHS]

- You don't dig the ocean? - No.

I don't know.

- ow - What?

- You bit me. - I did?

- Yes. - No, I didn't.

It's cool.

You don't think I'm a drag?

Well, I don't think you're a drag at all.

- No? - No way!

[RADIO PLAYING POP MUSIC]

Thanks for the ride home.

Wait. Come on!

[MUSIC STOPS] Come on!

You haven't said a word since we got in the car.

You can tell me.

What is it? What's going on?

[SIGHS]

OK.

- I got pregnant - mm

and I had a baby last year

and that's why we moved here from Yonkers.

Where's this baby now?

I don't even know.

My mom put him up for adoption.

She told me, I was signing circumcision papers.

- Damn! - Yes.

I'd like to meet your folks.

- Really? - I think they'd dig me.

No. They don't dig anybody. [LAUGHS]

They don't even dig themselves.

Listen. I'll make you a bet.

You have me over for dinner

and by the end of the night

if they say, "What a lovely young man"

- then I win. - What do you win?

You can spend the night at my house.

And if they don't, what do I win?

You can spend the night at my house.

- Yes? - mm-hmm

OK. Right there.

[STATIC BUZZES]

[EASY LISTENING MUSIC PLAYING]

Lord, make us thankful for these

and all our many blessings. Amen.

- Amen. - Amen.

Chuck, I'd like to thank you again

- for those lovely flowers. - My pleasure.

Linda tells us that you were in the service.

Yes, madam, the Marine Corps.

Mr. Boreman was in World War II.

Oh, Yes? Were you in the Corps?

- No, the Army: Italy, mostly. - I was stationed in Korea.

I won a couple of marksmanship competitions

but that's about all the action I ever saw.

I'll bet you would have been brave, though.

The guys that served with your father

are some of the bravest men that I'd have ever met.

So what do you do now?

- I own a bar and restaurant. - That's interesting.

What kind of bar and restaurant?

Just good food and pretty waitresses.

What do you do for work, Mr. Boreman?

I was a cop in New York before we moved to Florida.

Now I do security at the airport.

Mr. Boreman has a million stories, Chuck.

Is that right?

Johnny, you'd better go into the kitchen and warm his milk.

Milk... OK.

The mugs are above the sink, Linda.

- Jesus! - I forget about them.

- Yes. Right. - Yes.

Where are you? Where are you right now?

- I'm with you. - Yes.

Yes. That's my girl.

You're my girl hmm? Right?

Yes.

[BABY CRYING]

They don't eat with their hands, you dope.

- Say it. - I'm

I'm your girl.

[MRS. BOREMAN:] How's it coming out there, Linda?

Almost there, Ma!

- [LAUGHS] - What time's the movie get out?

- I told you: 10:30. - Be home at 11:00.

I know.

[MRS. BOREMAN:] He seems like a nice young man.

[ELVIN BISHOP:] ♪ Fooled Around and Fell in Love ♪

Oh, right...

[LAUGHS]

Hey!

Hey!

Just cut it out.

What are you so uptight about?

- My scar... it's gross. - Come on. A foxy girl like you

should love to show off her body.

Come on. Let me see.

Come on. Let me see it.

- It's gross. - Please...

This is it? This little thing?

Ah. [LAUGHS]

It's ugly. I hate it.

Why? Because it's different? Because it's not perfect?

All those uptight idiots in the suburbs!

All those cookie-cutter robots

that your mama goes to church with!

♪ I fooled around and fell ♪

Screw them.

Screw them.

Because this and you

are beautiful.

♪ A girl that I liked ♪

- ♪ I'd get out my book ♪ - Hey. I love your freckles.

[BOTH LAUGH]

[DOOR CREAKS]

[GASPS]

You're late.

Come on, baby.

[SOUL MUSIC PLAYS] Yes!

♪ Whoo ♪ ♪ baby ♪

♪ Lord, Lord, Lord ♪

To keep going... boom

And here we go.

You put a lot of margarita mix in there.

Yes. OK.

[BOTH SCREAM]

♪ To keep a flower growing ♪

[OVERLAPPING CONVERSATIONS] A Margarita?

- Thanks. - Hey.

[FILM PROJECTOR WHIRRING] Hey.

- mmm - [CHUCKLES]

- Do you like porno? - I like some.

You like them.

- No. - I can tell.

- Yes, you do. - I don't.

- Yes. - I don't actually.

Trust me. [CHUCKLES]

- I love your XXX. - What are you doing?

- Hey! - But Linda won't mind. She's cool.

OK?

I wouldn't go in there if I were you.

♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ We're making love ♪ ♪ and I like it ♪

- [LINDA:] Oh, my God! - A home movie.

My parents took one of me once but it didn't look like this.

I'll bet.

I've never seen a porno before.

Is it turning you on?

Good girls don't do that stuff.

Oh, because you're a good girl?

I can tell, you're such a good girl!

That's what I love about you. You're such a good girl!

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[SIGHING]

- [CHUCKLES] - [LAUGHING]

- Come on. - [GROANS]

I don't want to.

You know, maybe that's because you're not any good at it.

- Come on. You're going to love it. - Really?

- Yes. - I'm going to like it? Choking myself?

I could teach you. Remember how I got you to quit smoking?

Yes. Are you going to hypnotize me?

It's the same mind-body control technique.

Yes?

[SIGHS]

Out of sight. Ah!

Hey. Your mind has control.

Come on. A little more. There you go.

- [GAGGING] - Take it in. That's right.

Don't forget to breathe. Come here.

Don't forget to breathe. OK?

[Norman Greenbaum:] ♪ "Spirit in the Sky" ♪

You've got it. OK? Go.

[SIGHING]

Oh yes.

[FILM PROJECTOR WHIRRING]

♪ When I die ♪ ♪ and they lay me to rest ♪

♪ I'm going to go to ♪ ♪ the place that's the best ♪

♪ When I lay me down to die ♪

♪ I'm going up to ♪ ♪ the spirit in the sky. ♪

♪ I'm going up to ♪ ♪ the spirit in the sky ♪

♪ the spirit in the sky. ♪

♪ It's where I'm ♪ ♪ going to go when I die ♪

♪ when I die ♪

♪ when I die ♪ ♪ and they lay me to rest ♪

♪ I'm going to go to ♪ ♪ the place that's the best. ♪

[GRUNTS]

♪ Prepare yourself. ♪ ♪ You know, it's a must. ♪

♪ You've got to have ♪ ♪ a friend in Jesus ♪

♪ so you know that when you die ♪

Congratulations, Mrs. Chuck Traynor.

I've never done it with a married man before.

- Me neither. - Good.

♪ That's where you're ♪ ♪ going to go when you die ♪

- [SQUEALS] - ♪ When you die ♪

♪ When you die ♪ ♪ and they lay you to rest ♪

♪ You're going to go to ♪ ♪ the place that's the best ♪

[VACUUM WHIRRING]

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

- Hello. - [CHUCK:] Hi. It's me.

Where are you? I've been really worried about you.

Get some money and come and get me.

- I'm in jail. - Ha-ha. Very funny.

- [BUZZER SOUNDS] - Here you go, madam.

Oh. OK.

- [BELL DINGS] - [LINDA:] What happened, Chuck?

What did I say?

[LINDA SIGHS] But this is different.

[WOMAN:] whoo

You said, to never ask about your work.

That's right.

Some girls were turning tricks out back.

What do you mean by that? Prostitution?

Yes. Linda, it's a titty bar.

What do you think these girls live off? The minimum wage?

Wait. Are the cops going to come and ask me questions?

No, baby.

Wives can't testify against husbands.

Hey. Look. All I need is money.

Look. After paying your bail, I have... $32, $33.

Linda, real money!

It's the IRS and the Miami PD

and it's all just that shakedown!

- Do you have enough? - "We."

Baby, do "we" have enough, right?

- No, we don't. - mm-mm

- Not yet. - So what are we going to do?

Mary had a little lamb, whose fleece was white as snow

and everywhere that Mary went

[CRYING] the lamb was sure to go.

Yes. Right?

- That was great. - [CHUCKLES]

- Did I tell you, or what? right? - You did. You told us.

Sweetheart, there's a little diner on the corner.

Why don't you run down and grab us 4 coffees, regular.

- OK. - All right?

- On the corner... - Yes.

- [MAN:] Thanks a lot, darling. - Beautiful work!

Jesus fucking Christ, Chuck! What the fuck was that?

Does she even know what she was auditioning for?

I know. She's new at this professionally. I could show you this thing.

Well, Chuck, she's really cute. She's adorable.

She's like a sexy "Raggedy Ann" or something.

- Cute freckles! - I really dug her freckles. It was very...

But, you know, for this industry... I don't know.

You don't know what, Jerry?

Go ahead. Be honest.

- Yes? - Yes.

No, look. The point is, we traffic in fantasy here.

Yes, she's very real: the kind of girl you sit next to in class.

If you see her out on the street you want to ball her.

But, you know, you've seen the girls that come in and do this now.

I mean, they've all been to the surgeon.

I mean, you can't light your cigarette around them.

You're afraid, their tits are going to go up

like the Hindenburg or something.

Linda has tits.

She does... nice ones, too!

That's not the point.

It's not like the old days. You know... where you just point a camera

at 2 people screwing and you'd call it art!

I mean, the audiences expect a lot more.

She's beautiful but, you know... more pizzazz.

- We need more pizzazz. - No offense.

I'm going to show you what Jerry's talking about.

- No, I - Nicky, come here for a sec.

I want to show you this movie we made.

Now, this is the prototype, right?

People want blonde hair, huge tits

and a nice, beautiful round ass.

It's the harsh reality of our chosen profession.

- Dynamite work, Nicky! - Thanks, Butch.

I'm going to show you this.

Chuck, we are making a movie here

on 35 millimeter. Jerry even wrote a script...

- 42 pages! - Do you hear that? 42, fucking, pages!

This thing is going to be in theaters

and look. People want what they want.

Chuck, your girl

she's cute. She's skinny. She's got no hips.

It's like making a war movie without the fighting.

Tits and ass: that's the action!

Chuck, I don't want to bum you out, but can she type?

Maybe I could find some work for her in the office.

- [SIGHS] - Look at this! Look at the

I don't care about this. Listen to me.

I know she doesn't have it, Chuck.

- Look at that! - We just saw what she could do.

- She acted? She couldn't act. - Look what she can do.

- Look! See? - whoa Butchie.

But are you... Did you see this?

Look at this. Are you seeing this?

- Holy shit! - Oh!

Wait. Is that real?

Is she actually doing that?

[LAUGHS] Yes. Right.

ho ho Oh, my God!

Yes. Can she do that with a big cock?

- No offense. - She can do that with anything.

Ah, that's far out! That is... did you see that?

That is art, baby! That's art!

[FUNK MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ If you're not ♪ ♪ getting your thing ♪

♪ like you ought to be ♪ ♪ getting your thing ♪

♪ somebody else would be ♪ ♪ getting your thing for you. ♪

♪ Better listen to what ♪ ♪ I'm saying now, fellows. ♪

♪ If you aren't ♪ ♪ getting your thing ♪

♪ like you ought to be ♪ ♪ getting your thing ♪

♪ somebody else would be ♪ ♪ getting your thing for you. ♪

- Anybody want a hit? - Jerry?

- Yes? - Not a cloud in the sky!

What's with all the, fucking, lights?

Shadows, Butchie, shadows.

Your shadows are costing me hundreds of dollars.

Do you want to turn the lights off? Do you want it to look like shit?

No problem. I'll turn them all off.

[LAUGHS] A fucking artist, huh?

- A bad toupee. - He wants to make a movie without lights.

How long have you been a makeup person?

Oh, I'm not a professional.

I mean, not in makeup anyway. [LAUGHS]

Do you know, when you get to be my age in this business

it helps to have as many skills as you can.

I don't have any skills.

That's not what I've heard. [LAUGHS]

There she is. Here's our star.

What did I tell you? "The girl next door"!

Linda, this is our financier, "Anthony Romano".

It's very nice to meet you.

Sweetheart, let me tell you something.

If what these guys are saying is true

this is going to be the best investment of my life.

[LAUGHTER]

I can't wait to see your work.

Yes. Oh and this is "Dolly".

- This is Linda's costar and makeup artist. - It's a pleasure.

- I have many skills. - Yes? Do you?

[LAUGHTER] Let's let the stars get back to work.

All right. We'll see you later.

Easy there, sister. Don't cover her freckles.

OK.

Hey. What are you doing?

Her freckles are her thing.

- All right? - OK.

Be cool.

You look good.

All right. It's not too much. OK?

- Can you hear me? - Yes, I can hear you.

Wow! He's pretty intense.

I used to have an old man like that once.

You know, I should probably

do something about those.

Mr. Damiano will be really pissed if I just leave them like that.

- [SIGHS] I'm so clumsy. - I know, sweetie.

We all are.

There's just got to be more to life than screwing around

than screwing around.

Sex! I don't enjoy it.

Sex! I don't enjoy it.

"Linda"? "Harry".

We're getting it on in the next scene.

Oh, hey. It's nice to meet you.

I thought your name was "Dick".

My stage name used to be "Dick Long"

but... [CLEARS THROAT] it sounded, kind of, obvious, so you know...

[LAUGHS] Yes. I agree.

This is a great business, isn't it?

Anyway I just thought, I'd come by

and introduce myself before we started going at it.

Are you OK?

I'm a little nervous.

I've never had lines to talk before.

We've got the best job in the world.

We just tune everybody out and live in the moment

like we're the only 2 people on the planet.

"Tune everybody out."

- "Live in the moment." - Exactly.

You're going to do great

and I cannot wait to get it on.

- [MAN:] Action! - [TIRES SKIDDING]

- whoa Are you all right? - Yes.

Are you OK? Yes?

You're just going to drive normally.

You know what we're doing, right?

- mm-hmm Right. - OK.

It's just that I don't know how I normally drive.

- You - I just drive, you know.

Yes, that's exactly right. Just drive

and pretend we're not here, OK? Whatever you'd normally do.

All right. Are we rolling? Let's roll.

You're doing beautifully, baby. Beautifully!

[MAN:] All right. Sound... speed

and action!

It's not that I'm turned off to sex.

I enjoy it. In fact

I could spend the rest of my life getting laid.

Then what seems to be the problem?

Well, I don't know. Something's different.

I mean, there's just got to be more to it

- than just a lot of little tingles. - "Little tingles?"

- I want to hear bells ringing. - "Bells?"

- Dams bursting! - "Dams bursting?"

- Bombs going off! - "Bombs going off!"

- Something! - Nurse, Mrs. Lovelace is done with her bubbles.

- Thank you, Dr. Young. - Open your mouth for me.

Wider. "Ah."

- "Ahh..." - "Ah."

- "Ah?" - "Ah."

Well, there it is!

There it is. You little bugger!

- What? - Your clitoris.

It's down in the bottom of your throat.

- [CRYING] - Oh now, now, Mrs. Lovelace.

There, there. Listen. It's better to have a clitoris

deep down in the bottom of your throat than to have no clitoris at all.

That's easy for you to say.

Suppose your balls were in your ears!

Well, then I could hear myself coming.

- [LAUGHS] - And cut!

That was great!

- That was fantastic. Really! Are we good? - Yes.

Great work, everybody! That's a wrap.

2 days down, 5 to go. Nice work!

Do you see?

Do you see that? That's going to be a problem.

- [BUTCH:] I need you to do me a favor, Chuck. - [CHUCK:] What's that?

I need you to go to Miami and pick up some film tomorrow.

Tomorrow? Why?

- Why? - Yes.

Because the stores are all closed

and if we run out of film tomorrow, we're screwed.

But tomorrow's Linda's big day. She needs me.

- Send somebody else. - [SIGHS] OK.

How about I send Linda for the film

and you can spend tomorrow with Harry's cock

- down your throat? - Man!

You've got no movie without my girl. Right?

- You know that. Right, Butchie? - Yes.

And we haven't got any movie without any film either.

Yes.

[JERRY:] All right. This is it everybody. Here we go. Places!

Camera... and action!

You can try it on me.

You'll like it.

Well, what do I have to lose?

[KISSES]

Not bad. We're all going to win Oscars.

Cut. whoa Harry?

- mm - What's the matter?

What's happening? What did you

- I don't... I'm... - He came.

- [HARRY:] Yes. - He what? - You came? Get out of here.

What is this? Your junior prom?

I know. I didn't... I just wasn't...

- Just give me 3 minutes. I can go again. - I'm really sorry.

- Did I do something wrong? - [ALL] No, sweetie.

[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]

[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]

- [MAN:] whoo-hoo - No, thanks.

Hey. This is silk!

- Oysters? - Thank you.

- Thanks. - How are you doing?

[BUTCH:] Hey, oyster man! Yes, come here. We've got to talk.

- Oysters, sir? - The best oysters in Miami! Come here, baby.

Do you know? These are natural aphrodisiacs, honey.

- Yes? - Yes. They make you horny.

- I'm always horny. - [LAUGHS, SLURPS]

Marry me.

No girl for you? I can fix that.

- No, thanks, Charlie. - Hey, Linda.

Why don't you come and sit on Mr. Romano's lap?

I'm having an interesting conversation, Chuck.

Why don't you sit on his lap?

- [LAUGHTER] - [JERRY:] All right. Come on.

The party's moving up to my room. Where are you going?

- Up to my room. Come on. - We're going upstairs anyway.

[SOUL MUSIC PLAYS]

♪ Help me. Help me. ♪

♪ Let me hold it, baby. ♪

- Hey. Quiet! - [LOWERS VOLUME]

Quiet.

[WOMAN GROANING, THUMPING]

Oh, my God! That's unbelievable. [LAUGHS]

- Who's in the next room? - That's Linda and Chuck.

[RAISES VOLUME]

The girl should be in the, fucking, Olympics!

[LINDA:] I'm a little nervous.

Let's try this. Forget I'm even here. Forget about all this stuff.

Just be yourself.

OK. I don't think for the movie poster

we can be so anatomical.

I just don't want to disappoint anybody, I guess.

Tell me about the role you're playing.

A girl whose clit... [SIGHS]

- I know all that. - OK.

Tell me about the person you're playing.

Well, at first

I'm closed up like a flower

- mm-hmm yes... - ...bud

and

and then, gradually

the petals start to open

and then...

I finally learn about myself

and I learn how to

- to enjoy sex. - Beautiful!

Then I feel free. [LAUGHS]

Don't worry. They're just Polaroid shots.

Oh, I know. It's not that. It's just

you made me beautiful! [LAUGHS]

All right. Hey. What's the matter?

Your girl is going to be a star.

Yes. Great, but who the hell's "Lovelace"?

It's a dynamite name! You've got to admit that.

What about my name? Linda and I are a team.

- What's wrong with Traynor? - Nothing. "Chuck Traynor":

- a good name for a producer. - So I'm a producer now? That's funny.

I thought I was a production assistant.

A girl like Linda... you want to see her name in lights... like, "Linda Lovelace."

That's got to go up on a billboard. Right?

"Lovely lace, Lovelace."

- You're going to be filthy rich. - Me? No. You're going to make a fortune.

- Ah. - Come on, Charlie. You don't think

the investors deserve to make a little bit of money?

That's not what I'm saying.

And, you know, my name isn't "Charlie".

- "Chuck". - You've got it.

Your girl's going to be a star!

That's the value, man. And you own the product!

[EDDIE KENDRICKS:] ♪ Keep on Trucking ♪

- 2 consenting adults. - $6.00.

- Is it all guys in there? - What do you care?

♪ Keep on trucking, baby. ♪

Will you pass me a cigarette, hon?

Do you mind if I smoke while you eat?

[LAUGHS]

Hey. Did you hear about Goldstein?

His magazine gave us 100 percent on the Peter meter.

It looks like we've got a full-blown big-titted hit!

- [SHOUTING] - What's "the Peter meter"?

Did they say anything about how the film was shot?

Who gives a fuck, Jerry? A hit's a hit.

Well, then I could hear myself coming.

[LAUGHTER]

[MAN:] This is chief rocker, "Frankie Crocker"

on WNYJ Radio, New York City. We're back with the star

of the scintillating skin flick, Deep Throat, Linda Lovelace

and the film director, Jerry Damiano.

- Hi. - Hello, New York.

Now, Jerry, you were saying earlier how you as an artist

were able to transcend the pornographic medium.

Yes. Well, you know, it wasn't that difficult to do.

I mean, it was... The industry was getting pretty stale, you know.

Everything was just screwing, screwing, screwing and then: "Cut to the money shot."

You know, how many times are you supposed to look at that?

This film is becoming bigger than that. Right?

I mean, this is a phenomenon!

♪ Baby, that's bad. ♪

♪ So hard to bear, yes. ♪

[COINS JINGLE]

I went to see "Deep Throat" because I'm fond of animal pictures.

- [LAUGHTER] - I thought it was about giraffes.

- [LAUGHTER] - ♪ I feel like I'm on fire ♪

♪ And I'll keep on trucking, baby ♪

[MAN:] Linda, right here. A big smile, Miss Lovelace.

♪ I've got to keep on trucking ♪

♪ I've got to ♪ ♪ get your sweet loving ♪

[WOMAN:] How does it feel to be

the poster girl for the sexual revolution?

[LINDA:] It's just a goof.

To me, it's a movie

like any other movie

only, it has so many better things in it!

- Like what? - Like me. [LAUGHS]

♪ Now, now ♪

♪ Keep on trucking. ♪

♪ Yes, I've got ♪

Now, Linda, I mean... what do you want to do with the future here, baby?

I hope to make movies, real movie!

And maybe do a play.

I want to be an actress, you know.

[MAN:] The Mississippi River.

What's the only thing that has a bigger mouth than Linda Lovelace?

[LAUGHTER]

- [APPLAUSE] - [MAN:] Right here!

- [MAN 2:] Please, Miss Lovelace! - [MAN 3:] Linda!

- Linda. - That's what I call a welcoming committee!

- Right on. - Linda.

- Hi, Mr. Hefner. - "Hef", please.

Welcome to your party. How about, I trade you

- 2 blondes for a brunette? - Yes.

♪ Hear your mama come. ♪

♪ You're the best ♪ ♪ that she ever had. ♪

You come with me.

♪ Yes, mama, won't you ride ♪

- Look at this. - Butchie Peraino.

- A big fan of yours, Mr. Hefner. - Thanks.

Anthony Romano, Mr. Hefner.

I love the magazine. I love the article about the swinger parties.

Thank you. You, Harry... I'm a big fan of your work.

It is truly an honor, sir.

Oh, I used to tell people that I had the best job

in the world until I saw what you do.

- [LAUGHTER] - We'll see you gentlemen inside.

- Look at these 2 cool cats. - "Mr. Sammy Davis Jr."

- "Miss Lovelace." - "Sammy Davis Jr."

Better not miss this show!

[FILM SOUNDTRACK MUSIC PLAYING]

[APPLAUSE]

- They love you. - It makes me feel, sort of, tingly all over

and then nothing. There's got to be more to sex

than just a lot of little tingles.

There's got to be bells ringing

and dams bursting and bombs going off... something!

Do you want to get off or do you want to wreck the city?

- [LAUGHTER] - I think you can be a star.

I don't mean, just an adult-movie star.

I mean a real star!

Oh, I wish I could believe that.

Well, trust me. I see tons of girls

go through this town every year.

- Most of them - [LAUGHTER]

go just like that.

- [BELL TOLLING] - I hear bells ringing

- [APPLAUSE] - and dams bursting

and bombs going off!

[CHEERING]

- Fabulous! - Very sexy, right? Right?

No question! We're getting laid tonight.

- We've got a hit! - No question!

Ladies and gentlemen, the moment we've all been waiting for

the one, the only, Linda Lovelace!

[CHEERING, APPLAUSE]

[MAN:] Are you ready for this?

[LINDA:] I want to set the record straight.

All right. The first few are just to establish a baseline, so just answer "yes" or "no".

Is your name "Linda Lovelace"?

[CHUCKLES]

Can we start with an easier question?

[MAN:] All right. Are you currently working on a book

- about your life with Chuck Traynor? - Yes.

Are you taking this polygraph at the request of the publisher?

Yes.

Were you married to Chuck Traynor?

[NORMAN GREENBAUM:] ♪ Spirit in the Sky ♪

[GRUNTS]

[GASPS]

- Chuck, you're hurting me. - I know.

[GASPING, MOANING]

- Chuck... - Sh!

Chuck! Easy.

Chuck!

Stop it, Chuck.

Chuck, s...

- Oh shh - [GROANING]

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

Hey.

Oh, God! That was, fucking, far out!

Hey. Come on.

Baby, you're my wife.

Don't trip out.

Hey.

You really hurt me, Chuck.

That was passion.

I love you.

Where's my girl?

You're my girl, right?

- Right. - Yes? Say it.

Say it.

- "I'm your girl." - Don't...

Hey.

[LINDA:] What do you mean by that? Prostitution?

[CHUCK:] Wives can't testify against husbands.

All just that shakedown.

All I need is money.

Baby, do we have enough?

It's just you and me. We can't miss.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ Hold up. ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ Who's that girl ♪ ♪ knocking them dead ♪

♪ whenever she's in town? ♪

[BACHMAN-TURNER OVERDRIVE:] ♪ Let it Ride ♪

This is, sure as shit, more fun than the convention, huh?

[LAUGHS] What do you do for a living?

I sell medical supplies. How about you?

- I'm a part-time gynecologist. - Really? Oh, that's so funny!

We're actually coming out with a new set of stirrups that make it a lot

I get it. That's very funny, Yes.

- Should I take some drink orders? - Yes. What do you want?

- Oh, wow. A Cuban Libre would be great. - 2 Cuban Libres.

Don't worry about that. I've got it. Here you go...

Boy, she's great.

- mm-hmm - Are you guys married?

- Yes. She's going to be a star. - Wow.

[SNIFFS]

Hey. Is that what I think it is?

It is, if you think it's coke.

Do you think I could get a little?

Do you let people use your medical supplies for free?

- OK. No. I get it. - Yes.

Yes. Well, how much?

How much for what? The pussy or the blow?

[LAUGHS]

- Seriously? - Seriously.

♪ Would you let it ride? ♪ ♪ Would you let it ♪

It's your lucky day. I'm going to go get Linda.

♪ Try, try, try. ♪ ♪ Let it ride ♪

♪ Try, try, try. ♪ ♪ Let it ride ♪

[CHUCK:] Hey. Look at me.

♪ Try, try, try. ♪

♪ Let it ride. ♪

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

- Hi, Ma. - For the love of Christ! It's 2 a.m.

I know.

[WHISPERS] Don't wake your father.

Do you want something to eat? I've got leftovers.

- You're a bag of bones, LindaQ - No. I'm not hungry, Mom.

So, what did you wake me up in the middle of the night for?

I was really hoping that I could

move back in here for a while.

- Here? - Yes.

No. You know that's not possible.

- Why not? - How would it look for a married woman

to move in with her parents apart from her husband!

He hits me, Ma.

[SIGHS]

I can't say, I'm surprised.

What did you do?

What do you mean, "what did I do?"

What did you do to make him angry?

He didn't just hit you out of the blue.

I guess I didn't do what he wanted me to.

You took a vow

a very serious vow.

Can't I just stay, like, a few days, Ma? Please...

And then what? Are you going to get a divorce?

What do you think we are! Protestant?

Ma, you just don't understand.

Linda, I was...

I was 18 years old when I had your sister

unmarried

and all alone

before I met your father.

I'd suffered long and hard.

How dare you come here and tell me I don't understand.

I understand.

Now, God gave you a husband

who provides for you.

And you...

Look at me.

Go home to Chuck.

Be a good wife.

Listen to him and obey him.

Can't I just stay for a little while, Mom, please?

Just please?

Mom, I just need, like, a day, please.

- If you knew - That's enough.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

- Hello? - Dorothy, it's Chuck.

Hi, Chuck.

- I'm sorry. It's late. - Yes.

I'm looking for Linda. Do you know where she is?

Yes!

I can't do it.

I can't do it any more.

[SIGHS] Yes?

You can't do what?

Everything. I can't do it.

You're doing the movie, Linda.

You know me, right?

Huh? Do you believe me?

Right? Do you believe me?

Do you believe me?

OK.

Because I've worked too fucking hard

to get you this part.

Now, you watch:

This movie is going to make us.

You and me, OK?

- [SOBBING] - Oh.

Oh, there, there, Mrs. Lovelace.

It's all right. Listen. It's better to have a clitoris

deep down in the bottom of your throat than to have

- no clitoris at all. - [LINDA CRYING] That's easy for you say.

What if your balls were in your ears?

[HARRY:] Well, then, I could hear myself coming.

[JERRY:] And cut!

That was great! That was fantastic!

- Are we good? - [MAN:] Yes. We've got it.

[JERRY:] Great work, everybody. That's a wrap.

[BUTCH:] 2 days down, 5 to go.

Here's your, damned, film!

Why don't you sit on his lap?

[LAUGHTER]

- [THUMPING] - Who's in the next room?

Man, I don't think that's them balling.

[LINDA:] Oh!

[LINDA SHOUTING]

If I tell you to sit

stay, screw, fuck

you'll do it, hmm?

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

[George McCrae:] ♪ "Rock Your Baby" ♪

- ♪ Woman ♪ - [BELL JINGLES]

- ♪ Take me in your arms. ♪ - Hi!

- Hi! - [CHUCK:] Hey.

Oh, my God! You look so beautiful!

- And you look like a poodle with a perm. - [BOTH LAUGH]

I'm kidding. You look beautiful.

- Hey, Chuck. - Hey, Patsy.

You look older.

All right. Hurry it up. Do you guys want to be quick?

I've got some really important people we've got to meet up with later.

Yes. I've picked out some dresses. They're in the changing room.

Go on.

Wow! You look stunning.

[CHUCKLES]

Linda, can I be honest with you about something?

- Yes, of course. - I'm worried about you.

- Why? Because of the movie? - No.

I don't care about the movie.

It's everything. It's Chuck. It's the people you...

Don't be crazy.

What is going on?

It's Chuck, isn't it?

Just tell me so that I can help you.

Please?

Do you know how lucky I am?

I mean, a girl like me landing a guy like Chuck?

I'm nothing without him.

Jesus, Linda! You know we're in a hurry.

Sorry.

OK.

- Hey. A little toast! - No. I'd like to propose a toast.

- All right, Harry. - Oh.

To Linda, for sharing with me

the 10 best minutes of my professional career.

I heard, it was the best 10 seconds of your career.

- Leave it to the broad to get honest! - What about me?

You fucked me. If the movie's such a hit, where's my cut?

I've told Linda we're going to double her salary on Deep Throat 2.

She's going to get $2,500. How about that?

- You've told Linda? - Yes.

Let me see the picture. It's a full-on irregular pose.

[LINDA GASPS] No.

No. Chuck, no!

Chuck, it's freezing! God!

[WAILS] Chuck!

It was stupid. I spoke to Butchie Peraino

about my salary for the sequel.

I never spoke to anybody about money after that.

That's for sure.

[MAN:] Did Chuck control your finances?

Yes. He controlled everything.

I never saw a penny, not even after we moved to Malibu.

[MAN ON PHONE] Yes, but the price break doesn't

[CHUCK:] I get pitched this shit all the time.

It's got to be something special.

- [MAN:] These are special. - Could you make it glow?

- Huh? - Like "glow in the dark"?

- [MAN LAUGHS] - Yes. That'd be groovy, right?

And it should say, "Lovelace" on the side

and then, "Chuck Traynor" on the other side.

- Why would you want your name on the side? - It's America, man!

Why wouldn't I want my name on the side of a dildo?

You've got it. I'll send them out right away.

- All right. OK. - Thanks.

I'll talk to you later.

All right. Where'd we leave off?

The part about the first time I screwed Linda?

"Chuck pushed me back."

"His fat, rock-like muscle tore into me."

- "'Oh, my God', I said." - What do you think?

- It sounds good. - But you've got a problem with it.

It's just that your "rock-like muscle"

seems to play an inordinately large role

- in Linda's autobiography. - "Inordinately..." [LAUGHS]

- How'd you get here? - Mr. Hefner sent me.

Right. And how about the next time I want your opinion

I'll ask you what my cock tastes like.

Yes, sir, boss. I reckon it tastes like a piña colada.

- [GIGGLES] - [CHUCK:] Anthony.

- [ANTHONY:] Hey, Chuck. - How are you doing? Look who's here.

- Hi, Anthony. - Look at you.

You're like a regular California girl. Come here.

- I thought you were in Vegas. - Yes. I just came back from the pa...

- What, are you kidding me? - It's going to look more like her.

Come outside. I want to show you something.

It's great to see you, kid.

- Jesus! - Going to put freckles.

Ah, Jesus!

[CHUCK:] How have you been? Good to see you!

[DOOR CLOSES]

I'll bet you $10, the only thing

"rock-like" on that man is his brain.

[LAUGHS] You're going to get us into trouble.

[LAUGHS] Baby, look at us. I think we're already in trouble.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

Good afternoon. Lovelace Enterprises, Marsha speaking.

A nice car, Chuck. It must have cost you a few dimes.

- I know why you're here. - I should hope so.

[SIGHS]

I need a couple of more weeks.

We've got the Linda Lovelace blow-up dolls. We've got all the sex toys.

Hey. You're getting, like, 5 times your money back!

Man, do you want a blow-up doll? I've got a couple in the house.

I don't want a, fucking, blow-up doll. I want my 25 grand.

You'll get it. You're in on the ground floor. We've got the

We've got the Playboy spread coming out.

- mm-hmm - She's a brand name.

She's like "Betty", fucking, "Crocker".

No, she's "Linda", fucking, "Lovelace".

Listen to me. If you want to pay us back

you'll get her doing what she's good at.

Now, I've got Deep Throat 2, 3, 4 lined up and ready to go.

- No. - Now, this is big business we're talking about!

It's not some, fucking, nickel-and-dime, shit, you're talking about!

You see, that's where you're wrong. This isn't small-time.

I'm meeting this guy at Hef's party. OK?

This guy, he owns half the adult bookstores

on the West Coast, millions in merchandise.

Linda, like, sweet-talks this guy. Right?

Or better yet, she sweet-sucks this guy

and we're made in the shade!

Come on. You worry too much.

We're talking about money, Chuck.

I always worry about money.

Well, what do I have to lose?

Do you know how sometimes life imitates art?

I think

I think this is one of those moments.

[APPLAUSE, CHEERING]

[LINDA:] Chuck seems to have left with the car.

[HUGH:] Yes. I see he hasn't changed.

- Well, come on. I'll give you a lift. - Really?

Hey. Why don't we go someplace?

Let's grab a drink somewhere.

- You don't want to? - It's probably best just to take you home, Linda.

- I'm sorry. - OK.

[CAR PULLING AWAY]

Chuck!

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

Hello?

Hi, Daddy. Did I wake you?

No. We're just getting up.

It's late out there, huh? It's Linda.

Well, who else would it be at this time of day?

I've just got home from a party.

Yes, and why am I not surprised?

No, Daddy. It was a business party.

But I met Sammy Davis Jr.

- Who's Sammy Davis Jr.? - You know who he is. He's that colored guy

you know... "Mr. Bojangles."

- She's right. [LAUGHS] - I know who he is, Dorothy.

I was just joshing.

Your mother, she...

Every time that Johnny Carson mentions your name

she changes the channel.

I saw your movie.

I don't even know who that was up there.

That was certainly not my little girl!

I had to walk out.

Was it something that we did?

I keep thinking that it has to be.

- [CAR DOOR CLOSES] - I've got to go, Daddy.

I'll tell your mother you said, you're fine.

I love you.

I'm sorry, Chuck. I looked everywhere for you.

You lost us a movie deal tonight

just sitting up onstage, taking bows like

"Princess", fucking, "Grace".

- I'm sorry, Chuck. - 50... maybe 100,000!

- To do another fuck film? - No, Linda. It's Shakespeare!

I told them you do a great English accent

particularly with a cock down your throat.

Hey!

I'm sorry, Chuck.

I'm not doing any more porn... ever.

We're going to a party. Come on.

- We just came from a party. - Yes.

All right. Here it is.

- Hey. - How are you doing?

- Welcome to the party. - It's good to see you.

This is "Mr. Shapiro". He's a big-time Hollywood producer.

I'm a huge fan. I've seen Throat, like, 10 times.

You look like... Let's go inside. It's cool. It's...

In fact, I'm shooting something right now.

- It'd be perfect for you. - All right.

Oh, is that what this... Is this an audition?

A "Linda Lovelace" audition? No.

- Give me a second. - Absolutely. Sure.

Just give us some privacy for a minute. OK.

You just sit down right here. Just have a seat.

You will sit here and say nothing. OK?

♪ Keep shaking ♪ ♪ everything you got. ♪

- [INDISTINCT CHATTER] - ♪ Rock and boogie ♪

Chuck!

Chuck!

- Ah, man, do you know what? - What?

- No. - No. Come on.

[INDISTINCT TALKING]

What are you going to do?

No. It's going to be 6 times the money. Hey!

Listen to me! Come here.

- [GRUNTING] This is crazy. - Come here.

Come back in here. shh! Shut your mouth. OK?

- You're going to do this. Do you understand me? - What?

You're going to do... Just shut it.

You're going to do this and there's nothing you

or Hugh, fucking, Hefner can do about it. All right?

- We're OK? - OK.

[INDISTINCT WHISPERING]

OK. I'll talk to her.

- Chuck. - [DOOR CLOSES]

Do you know what? I don't think this is going to

- Oh, no. This'll work fine. - No.

Just... yes, it's just... OK. All right. That's...

[MEN MUTTERING]

- Baby, I've got a good one. - Chuck!

- [MAN LAUGHS] - No.

Oh, man. Hi.

[GROANS]

Are you all right?

Hey!

Linda! Hey!

[PANTING, GRUNTS]

Oh, honey! Stay down.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

- [SIREN CHIRPS] - Oh, Jesus! Get up.

Get up.

Oh, shit!

Step away from the lady!

- Sir, step away from the lady! - She's my wife.

- Step away from the lady now! - Look. I'm her husband.

- Is that true, madam? - Yes.

Madam, are you OK?

Wait a minute. I know you. You're that chick, right?

- That's "Linda Lovelace". - The blow-job girl?

Sir, take her home and get her cleaned up. OK?

- You have a good night. - Yes.

Hey. Ms. Lovelace...

do think I could have your autograph?

Hi, operator.

I'd like to make a collect call.

I wanted to talk to you about the money Chuck owes.

[SIGHS]

You mean, the money "you and Chuck" owe?

Chuck always handled the money

so I've never seen any of it.

OK, Linda. Listen to me. Just do another movie.

Call it whatever you want... Really Deep Throat... I don't care.

1 more movie, and you're both out of debt.

The world wants to see you, Linda

but they only want to see you do 1 thing.

If you do another movie I'm going to make sure

it's a classy production and you're going to have any director you want.

I'm going to bring Harry back. Come on. It'll be like old times.

Jesus!

I just can't do it any more.

- Here you go. Thanks. - Thank you.

[LINE RINGING]

[SNIFFING]

[LINE CONTINUES RINGING]

[MOANS]

Hello? Linda?

- shh, shh - [WOMAN:] Can I help you?

Linda, it's Chuck, and I told you I wanted to say I'm sorry.

- [WOMAN:] This is the hotel operator. - Oh.

Um...

"Traynor". Traynor's room.

Could you spell that, please?

"Traynor", T-R-A-Y-N-O-R?

- T-R-A-Y-N-O-R? - Yes.

Checking.

I'm sorry. I don't see a guest by that name.

Try "Boreman". B-O-R-E-M-A-N?

- B-O-R-E-M-A-N? - Um...

Any other... another name?

"Lovelace"?

I'm sorry. There isn't a guest under that name.

Hello?

[CRYING]

[DIAL TONE BEEPING]

You stupid bitch!

- [GUNSHOT] - [AIR HISSING]

Fuck!

[YELLS]

Linda?

Linda?

Hey, Charlie.

I thought you said Linda was staying here.

She was. We switched rooms this morning.

You're going to have to find yourself a new porn star, Charlie.

Um...

Hey, man. Is...

[GROANS]

No.

- Turn around. - No.

aah!

[YELLING]

Fucker! You're not going to

you're not going to see her!

You're not going to think about her!

[HUMMING]

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

Hello?

This is "Linda Marchiano".

Oh, my God!

OK.

OK. 'Bye.

That was my publisher.

I've passed the polygraph.

They believe me.

Do you really want this?

I just really want people to know what happened. You know...

Well, we'll explain in just a moment...

why she is no longer this person.

I hope she won't be offended if I identify her by the name

that really has become world-famous

a woman who starred in what has been called

the "Gone With the Wind" of pornography.

Would you please welcome "Linda Lovelace"!

[APPLAUSE]

[theme music plays]

Linda Lovelace's book is titled Ordeal

and it really was. This is the

this is the grimmest book I've ever read in my life.

I mean, you've been beaten, knocked around

I mean, every liberty in the world...

How'd you get involved with all that stuff?

I mean, how could a nice girl like you... How do you answer that?

Well, I had the misfortune of meeting Chuck Traynor.

But it didn't start out like you're describing.

He was a gentleman when I first met him.

He was always opening doors for me and lighting my cigarettes

and he was very charming when he wanted to be.

And I was young, you know. I was

I was 21 when I went to live with him.

And it wasn't until after that that things just started to change.

He started talking about different sexual things

things that I had never heard of before

things that I couldn't imagine, you know.

I didn't want to. You know, I was raised

I was raised to obey my husband

to please him, for better or for worse

- so that's what I did. - Dear God!

Linda, I have read your book, Ordeal

and I still find it very hard to relate to you

and to believe that you have become a changed person.

I expect people to have great difficulty

realizing how hard it was for me to get out

but I think people who have known fear

will understand it, though, immediately.

Linda, do you think this book will help bring about

you know... any change for other girls that are in this predicament?

I do have that hope. I... God forbid, there's somebody out there

that's going through what I went through

and maybe they can get the courage to get out of it.

I hope this book helps her to realize that

that you can come out of this, a complete person again.

Linda, you really were, and are, but especially in the early seventies

you were quite a celebrity! Everybody talked about you.

All conversations about you include a normal statement

that comes out dirty because of the context.

That's an awful way for you...

That's going to follow you forever.

You know, I spent exactly 17 days

in the pornography industry, and somehow these 17 days

are supposed to define who I am for the rest of my life!

But I hope that people can see me

for who I really am.

I mean, "Linda Lovelace" was a fictitious character.

My name is "Linda Marchiano".

I can finally be myself.

I'm a mother and a wife

and that is where I've found my joy.

Go ahead. We'll give you a minute, all right?

OK.

You've made it.

I love you, Mom.

Oh, let's not make a federal case out of this.

- [FATHER:] Hey. - [BOY:] Hi.

- Hey. How are you? - Good.

Let's get you something to eat.

It's good to see you. How are you doing? What have we got here?

Oh. Good to see you, man. How are you doing?

[ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING]