Original subtitles

EKIP FILM ANXIOUSLY PRESENTS...

It's 12.00. The Prime Minister said...

So, on we go together in the silence of the night..

...you'll hear the wackiest stuff on this frequency...

Yes, Kent listeners out there, this is the Losers Club.

My friend Mete Avunduk and I, Kaan Çaydamlı, are with you here...

...at the Yenice Studios of Kent FM...

...as we are every Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.

And this Tuesday night I guess pretty much like you guys...

...the mood here is kind of...

. like if only this hour would end and we could get out of here.

Good evening. Kent FM.

One second.

Mete, there's a caller on the line. She wants to be put through.

Go ahead.

- Hello? Good evening. - Hello. Have we had sex before?

- No. - What are you up to tonight?

- Listening to you. How are you? - Standard.

Me too, standard.

May God keep you standard. So what are you up to tonight?

- Going out to a bar soon. - Which bar?

- No idea. - What will you do afterwards?

- Go home. I have work tomorrow. - We all work.

We all work. We'll all sleep. That's what I don't get.

- Why do we sleep separately? Why? - As we'll all sleep, why sleep apart?

Why sleep apart? Why not sleep together tonight?

- So will you sleep with me tonight? - Sure.

- No, but seriously. - I said would, didn't I?

- C'mon, please! - I said OK.

Besides, I get Kind of like..

I now know I'll be sleeping with you tonight, right? So I'm kind of..

- You kind of, well, relax. - No, Mete. I don't relax.

I mean, I get seriously hard.

Hello? Hello?

- There's a saying.. - Hello?

- From Siberia, I guess. - Hello?

- If I know what I'm doing that night... - Hello?

C'mon, let's grab some meatballs. Let's go pumping.

Yes, Kent listeners out there. This is the Losers Club.

As always, we dedicate tonight's show to the Montana gang...

...to the streets of Kadıköy...

...where we've learned, and are still learning about life and women...

...and to all the bad kids in town. We'd stay with you all night, but...

...as you'll appreciate, listeners, we, too, have a sex life.

Have a good night, listeners, if, of course, that's possible.

- Coming from the radio? - Yes.

How's it going?

Good. Passes the time.

Got a lot of listeners?

- Loads. Like you'd never believe. - Good. That's great.

I'm at your place tonight. I've asked the girls over.

I have to be at the office at 10.00. I need to pin down Erol Egemen.

- Or he won't deliver the cover designs. - What are you publishing?

William Blake, Songs of Innocence. Plus Roland Barthes, Camera Lucida.

- Great. - Hmm, great. Probably sell 125 copies.

Then I'll stare at the stocks leftover and think what a great thing I did.

You can really sell 1257

I publish books that never sell and do a radio show no one listens to.

That's great.

The objective is to pass on their genes.

And copulation is quick... ..for successful conception...

Hi, Ayşe

I'm Sinem.

- How you doing, Murat? - Standard.

You?

Copulation occurs three times an hour.

OK, trying to get work done.

Losers have ample chance to copulate.

Copulation lasts around 20 seconds.

With a five-day fertility period, it can mean copulating over 300 times.

Animal!

How's the translation going?

I had other stuff to do. I was busy.

What other stuff?

Look, I had stuff to do. Don't give me stress.

Male lions have anatomical advantages to make up for their inferior weight

Good luck.

I woke up alone this morning

I took a look at myself in the mirror

How hard it is deciding to go

I have to get out of here fast

I think of the road

I always talk of going

I can't breathe in this city

I have to get out of here fast

Hello.. Hi, what's up?

He'll talk to you about the cover anyway when he gets here.

No, he hasn't seen the latest version yet.

Look, he's just walked in.

- Erol Egemen. - Connect him through.

I'm putting you through.

- Hello. - How you doing? Seen the cover?

- Yeah, nice. - Thanks.

Suppose we make the photo a hit smaller and slide it to the right, huh?

What do you say? If you're done by next week, no problem.

OK, bye then. Bye.

What's up?

Shall I start?

Nick Cave is back from translation. The printers asked for the cheque.

Two boxes of returns for Cortazar.

Payment will be touch and go this month but..

Plus there's rent.

Arrivederci.

Same to you too.

- Did the whisky show up? - Yeah, it did.

Anything interesting?

So?

Most collectors aren't aware the thing even exists.

The record, OK. But no one has a cover like this.

It's amazing.

Can I take a look?

No, you can't.

Why can't I look? You care for it more than me?

What was your name?

Hande. You forgot?

What's up tonight?

Come to my place after the show.

Boss.. Let's go.

OK.

- Ohhh - I remembered my ex. - Which one?

That's the thing, I don't remember.

Did you ever get the feeling that someone or something owns you.

Yeah, sure. And whenever I realized it, I wanted to leave.

Some people go after getting married and having kids.

I mean, that's what they value.

And others value other things.

One doesn't think about why one values those things.

Not the person that's lost in society...

Society destroys your individuality...

...insofar as it presents getting into college as a value.

You compete to get into college, compete to get into university...

...compete to get a good job, compete to marry a gorgeous woman.

There's always pressure to compete and win.

What, in fact, is winning?

Think of it as if you are Antonius and you won the greatest victory

and you come to Paris and stand under that victory arch..

...and all the people are under you and you have the ultimate power.

If you think in that lonely moment, 'Hey, so what? What happens now?

...then you're the loser. That moment, with the greatest victory, you've lost.

Well, does being aware of that...

...offer us everything life can't, as an old Red Indian once said?

Or, as a listener once said, Is art...

...like everything else, for sex? How wrong can an old Red Indian be?

Sometimes he may be wrong.

- Sometimes he says nothing. - Sometimes he wants to talk.

- Sometimes he wants to listen. - Sometimes he wants to be alone.

- Sometimes he wants company. - Sometimes he wants to go.

- He goes sometimes. - Sometimes he can't.

Sometimes he's afraid of not being able to go.

- Some are born into endless sunshine. - Some into endless night.

- Sometimes you die. - Sometimes you can't.

Sometimes you can't die even when everything says you should.

Sometimes you want to get away from yourself.

Sometimes you go just to be able to come back.

- Sometimes you cry a lot. - Sometimes you just can't.

Sometimes you drink. And sometimes you want to drink really a lot.

Sometimes you go to drink anyway.

Sometimes you jump in a cah in Acıbadem, you say “Kadıköy"...

...and sometimes the guy doesn't even look at you.

Sometimes a woman comes along...

...she sits down across from you and cries.

- Women always cry. - Sometimes a woman says to you...

“The thing that scares me most is a woman's tears” Speaking for herself.

“If you really loved,” she says.

But what she doesn't know is that loving belongs to a moment.

- Everything starts with water. - Philosophy, too.

- Hello? Good evening. - Hello. Have we had sex before?

- Excuse me? - Are you technically a woman?

- Yes. Biologically too, of course. - When was your first opening?

What opening?

Grand opening. We're talking the first pump. La pompa. Il pompino. Le pompier.

Hasn't happened yet

In that case, let's talk in a few years.

- Why? - Because tonight we're voting on...

...the most popular positions of the 20th century.

For anyone who feels like calling, our number is 2122721065.

This is Kent FM, the Losers Club.

- God, you made so much stuff, mum. - Well, you haven't been in ages.

- I'm busy, that's why. - You've been busy since you were a Kid.

- Did you read the books I gave you? - Yes.

- Did you read mine? - Yes. Right away, in fact.

- Which was your favourite? - The Dead.

'Why do those words always strike me as dreary and cold?

'Is it perhaps because there's no word exquisite enough to be your name?'

- Which was your favourite? - The Sheltering Sky.

'The soul is the weariest part of the body.'

'Because we don't know when we will die...'

'..we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well.'

- They're hazelnut this time. - Thanks.

- How's business at the bar? - Not bad.

- The programme? - That's OK too.

- Does the radio station pay you? - No.

So what are you going to do?

I have a few things in mind.

Would you like me to help out?

- No need, mum. Don't worry. - I listened a bit the other night.

- Why did you do that to yourself? - No idea. I enjoyed it.

Don't girls get offended when you talk like that?

No idea.

Come in.

- Savin Group's ad proposal. - OK, thanks.

This week's programme list, Miss Aslı.

Did you listen to the Losers Club last night?

- No. Why? - People have called to complain.

- Those 8-10 idiots do that every show. - This time it was a few more.

- There were 385 complaints. - How many did you say?

- 385. The lines were jammed. - What happened?

They proposed sex to a female listener on the show.

Then they voted on the most popular sex positions of the 20th century.

They're vulgar. Shameless. How do you allow it?

- OK, I'll handle it. - OK.

- Buket! - Yes?

Which position won?

- I went to Friday prayer the other day. - When?

Tuesday. I always goes Tuesdays. It's quieter.

- My boxers are worn out - I'll buy you some. Or give you mine.

Its time to break fast in Seattle.

- Tzatziki or strained yogurt? - Just yogurt

- You like aubergine? - Love it

- You masturbate? - No.

- Never? - No. What does it have to do with aubergine?

It doesn't - Good night, caller. Have we slept together?

- What do you think this show is? - Man, we don't think on principle.

- I don't remember last night - I don't remember anything after 1980.

- Its time to break fast in New York. - We're wasting our time here.

- C'mon, let's go to Olympos. - Sure.

- Sweetheart, I lick you. - Me too.

- Who is this damn Erol Egemen? - Really, who the hell is Erol Egemen?

Who the fuck is Erol Egemen for god's sake?

As I see it, life is about being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

What have you done in life?

Did you do a $500 million sale or cross the Suez Canal twice?

- I want Cem Akaş's hook. - No doubt.

- Sure. - Seriously?

- Can I come and get it? - Absolutely.

- Your best position in the kitchen? - All of them.

- What? - All of them.

- Makes no difference, or all of them? - All of them.

- Alright, ever cooked eggs during sex? - Yes.

- I'm getting turned on. - Me too.. OK, take it easy.

I wish you great orgasms in your life.

- Aren't memories lost if they're shared? - Memories hurt when they're shared.

Why does everything you talk about involve sex?

We don't know anything that doesn't revolve around sex.

- So who the hell is this Erol Egemen?! - Who is the fucker? Show yourself, man!

- We're doing a boycott show next week. - [ actually hate you guys and your show.

- Yes. - But/ still called.

Bravo.

Can I do the usual and ask for a song not to be played?

- Sure. - Pearl Jam's Immortality.

Sure. We're not playing Pearl Jam's Immortality.

- We begin the boycott night. - Beans with a ton of sugar get boycotted.

We boycott anyone who's not a fan of the singer Orhan Gencebay.

We boycott anyone who dislikes the footballer George Best.

- Sledgehammer owners get the boycott. - If you're rockers, why play Turkish

What's it to you?

- Are we off to Olympos? - Let's go.

C'mon.

Shall we head back?

Evening time.

Another awesome cover.

Right. It's that Erol Egemen touch. Simplicity.

Right, huh?

Mete, I dropped by Lütfü's on my way. He had a couple of Ottoman documents.

- Did he say anything? - That you should go take a look.

- Then he has something good for sure. - For sure.

I'm putting pepper on the tomatoes. Anyone object?

Good. At least everyone at this table has read the latest Brautigan. Cool.

I'll start on the raki in three hours.

- It take that long? - What?

- For you to start? - Yeah, it takes time.

I'm at the bar again that day. Not drinking.

- I know. Sure. You never drink. - I hate the damn stuff.

Fuck your radio talk!

- What the fuck's going on with you? - What?

I think it's great. I mean, standard.

What was your name?

Asshole!

That's kind of an Anglo-Saxon name. You from Nottingham?

Watch out, Kadıköy's a slippery place. Don't fall!

- You guys are shits. - What can I do? I don't remember.

- Nor would I with that many women. - It's not in his genes, girl.

No, I mean, why is one woman not enough?

Being enough or not isn't the issue. Some guys spend 60 years with a woman.

- Some can't. That's all. - But you guys always have stocks on hand.

We're not talking four or five. Why does it have to be so many?

Well, Header, it happens. That's why. Nothing deep. Don't make a deal of it.

Fine.

- What did Orhan Veli say? - No idea. What did he say?

How do I know? He must have had something to say about it for sure.

Absolutely. Cheers!

God, I'm lonely!

Are you kidding? The other day I thought I was dying of loneliness.

Weighing in at 250 kilos, it's Africa's...

- What's up? - Standard.

Try some pizza on your mayonnaise next time.

Kills the taste. The pizza's so gross it's the only way I can eat it.

- Don't spill it on the carpet. - Don't worry. I got you.

How's the translation going?

Good. Coming along fine.

- Who are you? - Şebnem.

- Want some? - No, thanks.

- How's it going, Şebnem? - Standard.

Great.

May God keep you standard.

The bottle looks like a beautiful black woman, huh?

What do you reckon?

Liquid..

Like the blood of a dragon killed before its time.

Gushing foam.

And burning.

As much as loneliness.

Distance is not a function of time.

Speed is distance divided by time.

Acceleration and the coefficient of friction are neither here nor there.

Being on the road requires having speed.

The converse is to stop on the road.

Stopping is boring.

Stopping on the road doesn't mean being on the road.

Stopping on the road means stopping on the road.

You don't stop at the end of the road.

You stop either beforehand or not at all.

Sometimes clear colourless water flows by the side of the road.

And there are fish in that water.

The road cleaves through hills, one of them an earthy green...

...the other perhaps ochre.

The water doesn't take on the colour of the land it flows through.

Though it may seem that way to you.

And also...

...the road never ends.

That's the wall of the labyrinth.

Yes.

The road never ends.

This is the Losers Club.

Our number is 2122721065.

- Good evening, listener. - Good evening, mister.

Your name?

Birdbrain, let's say.

Go ahead, listener.

The further away you are from yourself the closer you actually are.

The place furthest away from you in this world is actually your back.

Big differences sometimes bring people closer.

Actually, all journeys made on the surface of a sphere...

...serve only to progress towards the starting point.

- What are they saying? - I value two things in life.

I don't really know, but I love it - one... one is intelligence. You have both.

- They're into really deep Stuff. - Thanks.

But my theory is this: that life is always about...

...not being in the right place at the right time.

If you ask me, life is about being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

It's more or less the same.

Yes, listener?

- Hello? - Your name?

-Brit - Where are you calling from?

Kadıköy.

I'm so lonely.

Loneliness makes you a drag, Brit.

God damn me. I tell you, loneliness is making me nauseous.

Me too, Brit. Me too.

Another morning will come. Another new day will start.

And I'll die another death.

- So you're on a downer. - Yes.

Life sucks.

Solet's do this. Let's make you the Chief of Sorrow for Kadıköy.

Give us a call once in a while and report back, OK?

OK.

Look, suppose we do the ohm and unload some of this stress?

- Ohm? - Ohm. You know, like yoga.

C'mon, let's all do the ohm. Ohmmmm

Ohmmmm... Header's flying.

For you, Brit. Don't let us miss you.

I picture the sprawling past

Where is my lover? Where am I?

Where did we go wrong for us to break up that way?

I've lost my sense of self See the state I'm in

I picture the sprawling past

Where is my lover? Where am I?

Where did we go wrong for us to break up that way?

I've lost my sense of seff See the state I'm in

My sorrow has grown so bad it's spilling out of me

If I blamed fate a thousand times it wouldn't be enough

Speak of happy things, my wishing stone

To tear-stung eyes 50 long unused to smiling

- Wasn't our appointment at 1.00? - 1 only just woke up. Sorry.

- Where's Kaan? - At his office. He couldn't get away.

Well? How're things? Any requests? Any complaints?

No.

- I guess the show's picked up a bit. - No idea. Really?

Not bad. And if we work a bit harder it'll get even better.

In fact, we could get some ads. We could even pay you.

- But? - Tone it down a bit.

In the past week we received 600 complaints and a second warning.

They'll shut us down because of you two.

But we don't plan what to say or where the show's going.

It's kind of like improvisation.

Do you have to belch, swear on air or proposition to every female caller?

Don't know. Don't we?

The other night you spent 40 minutes on a leek recipe...

...and 45 minutes on premature ejaculation.

- Is there nothing else? - Don't know. Is there?

That's just the way it worked out that night. What can we do?

We can't do the show any other way. It's our style.

I realize that. But this is Turkey. They'll shut the station down.

Talk to Kaan.

You're onto something good. Don't let it go, I say.

You have my support if you want it.

Evening, Kent listeners out there. This is the Losers Club.

Falling in love is instantaneous.

It's an instant where suddenly everything appears brighter...

...where suddenly even the palest colours begin to glow...

...where suddenly all food bursts with flavour.

You don't decide to fall in love.

You just realize...

...it's happened.

When will I see you again?

If you come to Beşiktaş Pier in three days, you'll see me.

Hey, what was your name?

Don't know. I don't remember.

Let's say 6.45.

- What are you up to? - Resting my mind.

- I took a break. - Since when?

Two.. Three.. Six.. Eight..

Hasn't been long.

Hey, I just met an awesome woman. She's blown my mind.

What's her name?

- I don't know. - Where is she?

We're meeting in three days at Beşiktaş Pier. At 6.45.

Great.

The Beşiktaş Pier in Beşiktaş or the Beşiktaş Pier in Kadıköy?

No idea.

Good luck.

Thanks.

- Hello? - Brit, [ want to ask you something.

If someone said the Beşiktaş Pier, which one would you think it was...

- ...Kadıköy or Beşiktaş? - I have nothing to do with piers.

- Ask Erol Egemen. - OK, got it. But which one?

- I'd think Kadıköy. - Me too.

- I'd think Beşiktaş. - Hello? Hello?

Yes, hello, listener?

- There's a great lion documentary on TV. - Thanks, listener.

Plus there's a girl here called Ceyda, she's waiting for Mete.

- Tell her not to wait. I'll be late. - OK. Good luck.

He'll be back late.

OK.. Hey, tum on the radio, huh?

Talking of being late, I came early the other day.

- What do you mean? - Let me explain.

It was a morning like any other.

It was blowing up a storm outside and had started to drizzle.

I'd sat down to a light breakfast, had poured my coffee...

...and was eating a small piece of cheese.

I asked if she wanted coffee. She did.

She grabbed her coffee and sat down on the chair beside me.

She was listening to the rain and the ever-late spring.

I leaned over to the strawberry jam in front of me.

I took a small spoonful.

As I lifted the spoon to my mouth the jam dribbled onto my neck.

I reached down to spoon it off. She grabbed my hand, pushed it away.

She looked deep into my eyes. And put time on hold.

With the tip of her index finger...

...she scooped the jam out of the hollow of my neck.

She lifted her finger to my lips.

She slowly spread the jam over my lips.

She smeared the rest lingeringly over her own lips.

She moistened her lips with her tongue and tasted the jam.

Hey, what are they talking about?

The rain came down harder. And mingled with the wind.

She turned towards me. She bent her head towards me.

She lightly brushed her lips over mine.

She tasted the jam on my lips.

And I tasted the jam on hers.

Before drawing her lips away...

...she teased my tongue one last time with the tip of her tongue.

She licked my lips.

She stood up.

She pulled her white shirt out of the waist of her skirt.

Without undoing the buttons, she hitched it up to her breasts.

She wasn't wearing a bra.

She turned me towards her.

She slowly pulled up my T-shirt. She sat on my lap.

Gently, lingeringly she let her skin touch mine.

Her nipples brushed my chest.

She pulled up her skirt. Then..

- Then? - “What happened?” she said.

- What happened? - I came early.

- Are you out of your minds? - Hey, what's wrong?

What do you think? You had phone sex with all of Istanbul.

Forget you getting the station banned, you'll have us all thrown in jail!

Let's not exaggerate now.

I've said it once, I'll say it again. This is Turkey.

This American rock n roll, free spirit attitude doesn't fly.

- We'll quit if you like. - I'm not saying that. But tone it down.

The show can go a long way. You too. Don't pass up this chance.

It has nothing to do with passing up chances!

Look, let's do this professionally.

We'll give you a fee for each show. Things will be easier for you. And me.

- But it's fine like this, huh? - You don't seem to understand.

- I'm saying I'll pay you for the show. - Well, I'm just fine as I am.

Me too.

One way or other you'll definitely get something.

OK.

Can I use this?

I'm writing beer.

- Write whisky too. Cabs. - Cabs.

- Hakki's Meatballs. - Ha, meatballs.

Anything missing? Take a look.

Pay for our food, drinks and travel and that's fine.

Even beer and whisky expenses is fine.

Why don't you hand it over. She might object to something.

Here you go.

OK.

- We forgot to write chocolate. - Fucking Jesus Christ!

- What time are we at Birdbrain's? - Eight.

Do you think we're idiots to tun down the money?

Can you put a price on what we do?

I mean, we're not worried about losing the show, right?

- Let's not be slaves to loose change. - Right.

Are you sure it's the Beşiktaş Pier in Kadıköy?

Why did you go to so much trouble? I'm about to burst here.

It's no trouble. Come any time. Thanks for accepting the invitation.

It was great, Birdbrain. Thanks.

They play the same tune in two different parts of the world.

You're right, they do.

I got the new Sturgeon you published.

- You mean 'More than Human'? - Aha. It's great text. Really.

Sure, but that's another book doomed to be buried in the stock room.

No one but Kaan would think to publish the book anyway.

I'm lucky then. If you hadn't published it, I'd never have read it.

Two things never change, you know. My excitement when preparing the books.

And then my disappointment after publishing them.

Süleymaniye Mosque has a caretaker. He's from the town of Van.

When he was young, his father came to Istanbul on business.

On his way back, he brought a photo of Süleymaniye Mosque as a souvenir.

The caretaker was a young boy at the time.

They hang the photo on the wall in their house in Van.

For hours every day, the boy gazed and gazed at that photo.

He became deeply attached to the photo his father had brought from Istanbul.

His one dream in life now was to see that mosque.

When he was in his 20s he came to Istanbul...

...and headed straight for Süleymaniye Mosque.

He saw the mosque. He satin the grounds and looked.

He went inside and prayed. He just couldn't leave the place.

Then he began sweeping up the leaves in the grounds. He tended the flowers.

Without asking for anything. Of his own free will.

The imam at the mosque noticed him.

And they decided to take him on as caretaker.

On the upstairs floors of Süleymaniye Mosque...

...there's a secret room for the caretaker.

No one but the imam and the caretaker knows about this room.

He was given this room. And rumour has it...

...that the view from there is the very finest in Istanbul.

In other words, getting to enjoy such a perfect view...

...was only made possible by virtue of an everlasting passion.

Thanks.

Birdbrain, if you'll excuse us, we have along trek.

- We're headed for Kadıköy. - Just across the bridge, you'll get there.

Oh, by the way...

...I think that pier has to be the Beşiktaş Pier in Kadıköy.

Don't you agree?

How did you know I'd be at the right pier?

Don't know. I suppose I guessed you'd show up somehow.

- So you were that sure. - I wanted you to be sure.

I thought if you really wanted to see me again, you'd find a way.

I see... So a kind of test.

Absolutely.

What do you do in life? I mean, generally?

Presumably you're frying to ask what job I do.

I'm an architect.

I work for an international architectural firm called Berk & Smith.

Nice.

I'm into architecture.

Since when?

The last four days.

OK.. What do you do?

- I have a publishing house. - Really?

- Which one? 6.45.

- I have a few of your hooks then. - Really? Which ones? I'm curious.

Enis Batur, So Much Blood in Milk. And Oruç Aruoba. What is Nothing.

But there must be a few more.

'Soaring on the gentle wind the gull set off for the sea.'

Great hook.

Hey, where do you live?

- In Göztepe. On Minibus Street. - You live alone?

With my big sister. We've shared since university. We both did uni here.

- Where are you from? - Edirne.

- What does your sister do? - She's a pharmacist. More questions?

What else do you do?

I take a few photos. When I have time. Plus I have a small radio show.

You're involved in such great stuff.

Compared with yours, my life suddenly seems really boring.

Anything that becomes routine Is boring, actually.

That's why the grass always looks greener on the other side.

So don't worry about it.

Yes, but things in life that aren't routing can never be lasting.

- Coffee? - Medium sugar.

- Two medium coffees. - Sure.

Do you go out like this a lot?

Like this?

Like this.

Never.

Hey, man. Move your motorbike 50 I can get out, huh?

It's still early. Let's wander around.

- How you doing? - Standard.

- I guess you went to the right pier. - Aha. Yes.

- Any ice cream left? - Yeah, I saved you some.

Are you kidding? You son of a bitch..

- Is this all you saved? - Not enough?

You don't like blackberry, so I ate it. And the raspberry, I did, you know..

Why don't you buy some for once and I'll eat it.

What was the girl like?

Totally different. I mean, good.

I haven't met anyone like her in ages.

Anyhow. I'm going to bed. Don't spill on the carpet, OK?

The guy's fallen in love and he doesn't know it.

Don't spill it on the carpet.

I guess it's one of the things I think about the most

Having nothing left to lose is freedom, I guess.

But! don't know who can get to that point

OK, it's 1917 or so. We're in Vienna.

- There was our Karl. - Who, the king?

- Karl. - Right, we know him as the king.

The guy with the beard. There was Frederick too.

Frederick left his dad's factories and came to join us.

The three of us were spinning theories there in an attic flat.

- I won't forget. We were having coffee.. - Who is this Karl?

A German footballer, I think.

Karl Marx. Open a book and read once in a while.

I turned to Karl and said, “What else do we have to lose?"

You know what he said?

“We have nothing to lose hut our chains,” he said. “Kaan.”"

“Fuck off" I said.

“With a mindset like that" I said, “you'll screw up this century.”

“The century will fall apart,” I said.

“There'll be a revolution in Russia any day,” I said.

- Which in fact is what happened. - Well anyway..

Have a good night, listener. Merry Christmas to you.

Bye then.

There's a listener on the line.

- Hello? - Erol Egemen?

- Are you listening? - Go ahead, listener.

Watch what you're saying.

How do you mean, listener?

Don't bitch about people's religion and faith.

Know your place or we'll put you in it

- How will you do that? - You doubt my word?

- Sure. - Don't

I see you came to the radio station without your motorbike today.

Jerk.

- Hey, let's have a party, Mete. - Good idea. Let's do it.

A lonely hearts party. We're drying up here.

It'll energize us.

Let's do it on the 16th. At Trip bar. Get a few friends along. We'll chill.

It's a deal.

- Jump in, guys. I'll take you these days. - Thanks, Jackal.

Ceyda, Murat, Zeynep. Zeynep, Murat, Ceyda.

- Hello, everyone. - Hi.

Shall we grab some breakfast?

C'mon then.

SHOP FOR RENT

Thanks.

I'll call when I get back.

Go on, go.

Where have you been, Zeynep?

We've been waiting for you. America's expecting news from you too.

Sorry, Mr. Cemal. I've fallen in love. I couldn't sleep all night.

- Everyone's talking about the show. - I guess.

I don't get it. In the end, what we do is hardly popular culture.

That's for sure.

Well? What do you say? Isn't it crazy that it's caught on like this?

No idea. I thought about it too while I was listening the other day.

You talk about things no one dares to discuss openly.

And that comes across as sincere. Even if they don't understand...

...or find it ridiculous, I think it's your sincerity that grabs them.

I really don't know. I can't figure it out.

- Did anything come of those threats? - No. It's just hot air.

- A couple of wackos who keep calling. - Still, don't wind them up. Be careful.

- Don't worry. - It's my job to worry.

I want to ask you something.

Do you think I lead a really empty life?

What do you think?

Don't know.. No.

I've always done what I've wanted.

The time came I went to England.

The time came I got married. The time came I had a child.

But I've done everything as I wanted and at the time I wanted.

Sometimes I've paid a price for I, but I've always lived as I've wanted.

Not everyone is prepared to pay that price.

- Isn't the missus coming? - She's in Edirne with her family.

Good luck, good luck!

- What the hell is this? - Fuck!

Oh my god!

LONELY HEARTS PARTY THE LOSERS CLUB

I love it. They discuss everything straight out. It's incredible.

- How you doing? - Standard. You?

Who is this Erol Egemen?

Great!

Forget him, I say Mete is to die for.

Kaan. Kaan.

- Hello. Have we had sex before? - Take a hike, dumb-ass.

What's up?

Mete, is it you?

Sometimes.

Erol Egemen.

Who's Erol Egemen?

Who's Erol Egemen?

Who is it? Who's this Erol Egemen?

- Erol Egemen's here. You heard? - No way.

My ass! He's humping a girl in there.

They're bouncing off the walls. Can't you hear?

Erol Egemen!

I was sitting, sitting by the window

I was singing. singing songs...

The smoke, the smoke of my cigarette

Too bad, this lover of mine has no faith

The smoke, the smoke of my cigarette

Too bad, this lover of mine has no faith

The smoke, the smoke of my cigarette

Too bad, this lover of mine has no faith

-LOSERS CLUB/KENT FM/4.80/15.10 - Hello to heartsick friends

-LOSERS CLUB/KENT FM/5.00/14.50 - Hello to heartsick friends

...RULED TO TAKE KENT FM OFF AIR FOR TWO 24-HOUR PERIODS...

-LOSERS CLUB/KENT FM/6.00/18.70 - Hello to suffering lovers

Hello to suffering lovers

LOSERS CLUB

The bank called.

They didn't get this month's loan payment.

- Fine, I'll handle it. - OK.. Plus there's rent.

- Selin, did the agency send that fax? - Yes. Take a look if you like.

- Is this 6.45? - Yes.

Are Mete or Kaan around?

- How did you find this place? - Through a friend. Are they around?

- What do you want with Kaan and Mete? - To join the Losers Club.

- Yeah right.. Fine. - Yes.

- Kaan's busy, kid. - Is he in there? Can't we say hello?

Why can't we quickly see him? We want to join the Club.

What club? What goddamn club?

- The Losers Club. - Fuck off! You fucking idiots...

- Hello? - What are you up to?

Working. You?

- Hey, let's go to Olympos. - OK. Fine. When?

Now.

- You're kidding, right? - No. I'll pick you up in an hour.

- I'd love to, but I can't. - You can't or you won't?

I can't. I have a ton of work. Are you OK?

I'm fine. C'mon, we can relax, have fun. Besides, all work and no play is not good.

- What's the worst that can happen? - I'd get fired.

You'd find another job.

I can't come. I've got a pile of projects to finish.

- But I can break for coffee if you like. - Forget it.

- See you tonight. - OK, see you then.

Yes, dear listeners.

That brings us to the end of tonight's edition of the Losers Club.

Endless thanks to you all for listening.

Keep healthy, happy and cheerful until next week. Goodbye.

Good night to you all, dear listeners.

What are they doing in there?

They're recording a fake tape for the state censor during music breaks.

- We're done, boss. - OK.

- You know what just hit me, Mete? - What?

Censorship. Look, I think everyone should be censored.

The state shouldn't just censor newspapers, TV and radio broadcasters.

They should censor magazines too, even thoughts for that matter.

What bullshit, everyone having their own thoughts! Are we crazy?

For that matter, I say there should be censorship spies out there. Seriously.

I say radio fines aren't enough. They should fine thoughts as well.

Think of a woman? $1000. Think of sex with that woman? $2000.

Then we've earned a fortune for the broadcasting authorities.

There's a listener on the line.

- Hello? - Hello. Hi.

- Hello. Have we had sex before? - No! What a meaningless question.

OK, can you ask me a question that isn't gratuitous?

There's no such thing.

For starters anything without an answer can't be a question.

Questions only exist through their desire to have an answer.

Except for one question.

This question might move you to dead silence or pure unbounded joy.

From what I understand, it could make you even more insufferable...

...than you already are to the people around you.

- If you're ready, I'll ask. - Yes?

What could be more serious than death?

A caller on the line.

- Goodnight, listener. - Have we had sex before?

- Hello? - Night, listener. Go ahead

My name's Hakan.

I've been thinking of calling for quite a while.

But hearing what you've said tonight I worked up the courage.

Go ahead. Take as long as you like.

How to start?

I'm a painter. I live with my mother.

Or rather, I used to. I lost my mother a year ago.

We were really close.

It was she who got me into painting.

There's no sorrow.. No pain like it.

I can't tell you.

I couldn't eat for months. Couldn't draw.

In the end I couldn't take it.

I thought, let me end I, let me be spared this pain.

I thought, no one will notice my absence anyway.

I'd even fixed the whole thing, when and how I'd do it.

It may sound crazy to you...

...but the night beforehand I crossed your show.

I sat down and listened right through to the end.

You did such a great job laughing off loneliness.

I thought, I'll listen the next night and then do it.

I didn't realize that I was waiting for your show every night.

And while I waited I forgot to die.

I record the shows and listen again during the day.

- Not every show presumably. - Well.. There's a few.

I called to thank you, actually.

- Where are you calling from? - Pendik.

In that case...

...let's make you the Chief of Sorrow for Pendik. If you agree, of course.

Sure, love to.

OK then. Hey, we look forward to hearing your reports now and again.

Thanks for everything.

Good night.

- Has Erol Egemen called? - Who is he anyway that he'd call?

Shall we go grab some meatballs?

Yeah, c'mon. Let's go.

- Do you come here every night? - Once a week. At least.

- Good? - Great.

Why didn't you spend longer talking to that caller?

We talked to him, right? What else was there to say?

I don't know. He poured out his heart, and thanked you.

You could have been more sympathetic at least.

That's what you think.

I don't get it. You don't appreciate anything you have.

Why don't you take anything seriously?

Why do you always want us to be on a mission?

We're just two guys who talk on air and enjoy each other's company.

That's all.

I know damn well you don't really believe what you just said.

We didn't ask anyone to listen, or to like the show...

...or to take us seriously.

But they have taken you seriously. What are you going to do now?

Finish our meatballs and go home.

Same.

I just don't get it.

The show's this popular, fuck it, and we're still not selling books.

I wish it was some use to us, fuck it.

But Kaan doesn't want to use the show.

Well, I wouldn't know about that. But this show changed my life.

It saved me, I'm telling you.

No one had any idea it would get this far.

You know what? What we have now will end one day.

We'll miss these days.

I don't know. Maybe other things will start.

Maybe this was our own revolution.

- Beer? - Okay

- Hi, Kaan. - Hi.

- How are you? - Good. You?

I'm good too.

What time is it?

10.00.

Uh-oh!

- What's up? - I have to meet my parents.

They're dropping by on their way to Edirne.

- Call and say you'll be late. - Can't. They'll be disappointed.

- What are you doing? - I'll drop you off. It'll be faster.

- No need. I'll find my way. - Aren't they coming into Harem?

- I'll drop you. - Kaan, I said no need. I'm fine.

OK, I'm out of here. See you tonight at the studio.

- The studio? - I told you, my friend wants to come.

Up to now, I've believed in everything I wanted to believe in, Kaan.

Though I know that in the end I'll die, that I'll suffer...

...I've believed in everything I wanted to.

And whenever I've felt close to achieving something, I've lost it.

You mean you're a dodo.

Yes.

In that case, we're reading a poem.

Dodo bird island excrement..

Dodo bird dust and sorrow lurking in the shade of berry hushes..

- Wash, those dear tears.. - Wow..

- Your hooded eye, stormy shores.. - Wow.

Canyon-like river..

Linger on, deep in sleep Sleep. eeppp. eeeppp.

My goodness.

Smile from earth and sky.

I look through your sapphire eyes Falling into the trap ap. ap. ap...

My heart, like falling wild horses, diary of love.. ove. ove..

Dodo bird, oh, oblivious to the gazelle, echoing call in my brain..

- Understand any of this? - No.

My breast, trembling, with wounded waters..

My goodness.

Here we go.

Here we go, wow.

Instant death..

Oblivious to the gazelle, echoing call in your eye, lake tremors..

- Dodo bird.. - With bloody waters..

- Echoing in my brain.. - Dodo bird..

Of my breast with bloody waters! Dust peace sorrow lurk in the shadows..

Here we go.

Water! Moonless night trembling grains of sand..

Behold the mullet and wild oleander Behold the coming bastard. He'll be born..

- Wow. - My goodness.

Yeehah!

- Are you guys the only ones here at night? - And Header, that's all.

Your face is familiar. Have we met?

Kaan, why are you presenting the show like that?

Why shouldn't I?

It's kind of weird, isn't it?

My jeans get kind of tight after eating so I take them off.

Interesting.

It's no big deal.

C'mon, let's go.

You first.

If that vase rotates one more time I'll slash my wrists.

- How many times have you watched this? - Two or three.

No.. Four.

Zeynep, careful. Don't spill it on the carpet.

Don't worry.

- Four, five.. - Its a pile of shit.

- Zeynep, careful! - Eight, nine times.

Hey, didn't I say not to spill it? That carpet's special.

I've watched it 13-14 times.

Sorry.

Or is it 15? I don't remember exactly.

- Kaan says a big hello to you. - How is he? OK?

Same as ever.

I have something to give you.

These are for you.

- I don't understand. - Most are originals. First edition.

Mum, these are something else. Where did you find them?

I got them in England. I've had them stashed away for ages.

You can put them in your store.

In the store?

Did you think I wouldn't find out?

Thanks.

Come in.

- Miss Aslı. - Yes?

Another penalty?

- They're up to number one. - No surprises.

They've been number two in their time slot for a while.

It's not just in their time slot. They're number one for the whole day.

NO.1 LOSERS CLUB/KENT FM/8.70/25.10

We're done for.

We need to ask you a question for you to win the book.

What's the full name of the Tennessee team...

...that played in this year's Super Bowl final?

No! If I say I don't know, I'll lose. Please don't ask.

- Good system. I like it - Oh, god. Please.

- Sure, sure. It's allowed. - Then let's ask another question.

No, I don't want to lose this. Or suppose you ask another time?

I mean, any question you like. If you gave me the book tonight say.

Have we slept together? Your voice sounds familiar.

It would.

- But we've never slept together. - Seriously, you haven't?

- We've talked, but not slept together. - Fine. One of us will anyway

Why make such a big deal? I'm stressed, don't harass me.

Hello? Hello? Where should I come?

Where were you?

- I went to Hakki's place with Mete. - Hakki was that important, huh?

- You knew I'd be staying over tonight. - I'm here, aren't I, Zeynep?

- What's going on? - Nothing.

Why do you make out with every female caller on the show?

- Don't be ridiculous. - It's me being ridiculous, is it?

You're the one who constantly talks about sex every night on the air.

Have we slept together? Come over. Let me lick you.. And all that.

Is that what you think the show's about?

- That we don't talk about anything else? - Do you?

OK. No, we don't.

Suppose I introduced you to my dad and he heard you on the radio?

- What would I say? - Then don't introduce me.

- Why are you pushing it? - Look..

You're the smartest, most knowledgeable guy I know.

Why do you waste it? Why don't you do something that gets you somewhere?

Don't believe this.. In the beginning, everything I did excited you.

Your books don't sell. You turn down money from the radio station.

You take photos now and again. Why don't you do something proper?

You're not 19 any longer.

This is who I am. I've never hidden it.

I've never lied to you. I haven't changed.

If you aren't happy.. I mean, if I'm not good enough for you...

...you can fuck off.

What then?

Nothing. She didn't smile. Not at all.

It was like she couldn't smile.

Yet in the sky there was everything you could expect from a good sunset.

All those warm colours, a gentle breeze.

The smell of her perfume.

If at that moment an anvil had fallen from the sky...

...it would have taken it nine days and nights to reach earth.

I've had a job offer from America that I'd been expecting.

Congratulations.

I can't decide whether to go or not.

Why?

It Kind of depends on you.

If you say, “Don't go,” I won't.

We'll give it a shot here, but..

But you have to tell me that.

Tell me not to go.

Can you?

Tell me not to go.

If at that moment a bronze anvil had fallen from earth...

...it would have taken it nine days and nights to reach her eyes.

Along, drawn out.. dark.. cold moment.

Truly, that's how it was.

Thanks.

You OK?

Yeah, I'm doing better these days.

- Have you heard from Zeynep? - We spoke at some point.

She's settled in America.

I guess with all the rockin' n rollin' I didn't realize I was so in love

But it wouldn't have worked anyway.

Forget it, boss.

You know what's the problem with women?

They fall in love with the qualities that make you who you are...

...and then try to take them away from you.

- How's the store? - Good.

I say I should focus more on the publishing business.

I reckon it's time for a change, huh?

What are we going to tell Ash?

We'll find something.

What's up?

Ceyda.. She's left me.

You mean you were together?

We were madly in love. You didn't notice?

Sorry. Hey, what's this?

I thought we should have dinner, the two of us, as single guys.

I got ice cream too. Raspberry. And I finished the translation.

Are you OK?

Like you say.. It's no joke, we're totally alone.

Hey, is this fair? Is this justice? Mete, let's hear a message of justice.

What justice? You mean there's justice?

If there's justice, what are they saying today?

- Where would we stand, Kaan? - C'mon, give us that message.

Speak of love, brotherhood, that kind of thing.

OK, let's love fairly. Let's love whoever loves us.

Let's want whoever wants us, or pretend even if we don't want them.

- At least let's pretend for that night. - So what you're really saying is...

- ...let's put up for the sake of the pump, huh? - Exactly.

Maybe we'll love with time. That's what I'm saying.

Nice words. Nice words. Look, I have tears in my eyes.

- I want justice! - Look at the tears. Out of nowhere.

I want justice!

C'mon, let's hear a message of love and justice from you too, Kaan.

I..

I want love and justice for the whole of humanity...

...for all peoples, all animals, for all violets and mountain flowers...

...for all snowdrops, for all of us, for everyone...

...for everyone who creates this world and lives in it.

Thank you, Turkey!

- God! Thanks. - Amazing.

As always, Kent listeners, we dedicate this edition of the Losers Club...

...to the Montana gang, to the bad kids in town...

...to the headline-grabbing, Erol Egemen Syndrome...

...which has taken the medical world by storm...

...to all evil spirits, and to the streets of Kadıköy...

...where we're still learning about life and women.

And we make this dedication without the slightest hesitation.

We won't be with you next Tuesday or any other night thereafter.

This, and all other editions of the Losers Club, have come to an end...

We wish you all a good night, Kent listeners.

If, of course, that's possible.

Goodbye.

The Losers Club is over.

Even if I'm with you, my love

Even if we part or die on this road

It's always loneliness, sweetheart loneliness for life

Loneliness for life

Even if I'm with you, my love

Even if we see nothing of each other

If we miss one another

Even if we're together forever if we're happy or sad

It's loneliness for life

If I suddenly think of you, if I forget you now and again

END