Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

[instrumental music]

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[crackling]

[explosion]

[instrumental music]

[upbeat music]

♪ Uh huh uh huh ♪

♪ Yeah yeah ♪

♪ You wonder why nobody does it better ♪

♪ This one goes out ♪

Jon Jon!

♪ To all the niggas out there.. ♪

Jon Jon, wake up.

I need you to do me a favor.

Now your Uncle Charles is taking mama

and Aunt Linda away for the weekend, okay?

And he needs somebody to watch his house.

Now, what I need you to do

is take a note to school for your sister

so she can house-sit.

[coughing]

- Oh. - Oh, oh..

Mom, I'm sick.

Oh, baby..

My tuca-tuca boo-boo.

You don't feel warm.

Let mommy get the thermometer, okay?

Get the thermometer.

[slurps]

[retching]

[grunting]

Oh, my little chookie

I guess you are sick.

Oh, boobie, you want mommy

to take baby to the doctor?

No, no!

You know I don't like doctors.

Okay, baby.

Oh, shoot.

I would hate for both of us to have to miss school.

Me here sick in bed

while Monique's over at Uncle Charles' house

just sitting on her butt doing nothing.

Oh, sweetie..

I better try to get up and go.

I don't want it to get around school

that the Harris family doesn't represent.

Oh, no, no, no, baby.

If anybody's going to school, it's gonna be Monique.

Now, do you think you can go over

to Uncle Charles' house and rest over there?

Maybe.

Oh, he just needs somebody

to stay for the weekend, okay?

He says his alarm is broke

but your daddy says he's just too cheap

to buy a good one

since mama and Linda are always there.

But he's taking 'em with him this weekend.

I can make it.

Oh, no, no, baby.

Okay, mama, I am ready.

I got my phone book, my bathing suit

the weed..

...whacker, 'cause uncle Charles' lawn

needs...whacking.

Uh, Monique?

Is that you, Monique?

Oh..

Look, baby, Jon Jon is sick.

So, instead of both of you missing out on school

Jon Jon's gonna house-sit.

What! Mama!

Oh, look, you're going to school.

Now, kiss your brother.

Ugh.

But, mama, I already have my whole weekend planned.

Some friends, the pool, just chillin'.

Well, the last thing your uncle wants

at his house is your little hootchie girlfriends

and them chain-snatching boys you seem to attract.

Don't make no damn sense.

Gotta go through this every day.

Who's hootchie?

Come on, let's go. I'm running late.

And-and we still gotta go by

your cheap brother's house.

Oh, there you go.

You just mad because he didn't buy an alarm

from your company.

Shoot, and why should he?

He has my kids to look after his house.

He's cheap, cheap, cheap, I tell you.

We don't have to go over there.

Jon Jon is house-sitting because he's sick.

Jon Jon ain't sick.

Get in the car.

And if he is so cheap

why is he taking his whole family

to the Bahamas for the weekend?

Shoot, I'd take my family, too

if all I had to do was charge you

to one of my clients.

Now, get in the car!

- Daddy! - Get in the car!

[mumbling]

I did it.

[music on stereo]

[music continues]

Ooh!

[scatting]

Ooh!

Ah, ah, ah, ah..

♪ La la la la la ♪

[upbeat music]

[phone rings]

Get out. I'm on the toilet.

Mom told me to come brush my teeth, so shut up.

[phone ringing]

[indistinct chatter]

- Hello. - Yo, it's me!

- Who this? - It's me. Hold on.

[dialing]

[phone ringing]

- Hello. - Yo, T.

- Yeah. - Hold on.

Look, we not going to school today.

We got some things to do.

Like what?

Never mind, man.

Just meet me at 1-3-2-0-0 Beverly Glen

at 9 a.m.

For what?

Would you just trust me? Damn.

I'm tellin' mom.

Alright, alright, alright.

'T, I'll meet you there in a little bit.'

You're all trippin'. I got a test today.

Look, T, trust me.

I got this.

[instrumental music]

♪ Choppin' broccoli ♪

♪ Choppin' broccoli ♪♪

Whoo!

[instrumental music]

Uncle Charles?

Oh, hell, no.

Boy, what are you doing here

and where is your sister?

Well, I was home sick from school today

so my mom sent me instead

so we both wouldn't have to miss school.

[coughs]

Hey, hey, boy. hey, hey.

Don't get none of that on none of this.

I got you.

Is that you, baby?

- Hey, grandma. - Oh, baby, you look so good.

Ooh, you done grown so much

since the last time I saw you.

Nana, you just came over to the house

for dinner last weekend.

Don't you sass me. Don't you sass me, boy!

- Hey, Aunt Linda.. - Hey, Jon Jon.

Did you say you were sick, sweetie?

Oh, oh, yeah.

I think it's the stomach flu.

Uh, lots of throwing up.

Lots and lots of mucus.

[sniffs]

Uh, get better, baby.

Let's go, ladies. Come on. Chop, chop.

Ah, come on, mama.

Chop, chop, baby. Come on.

Ooh, girl, you look good, though.

I'm gonna poke your hontas

a little bit later, I'm tellin' you.

Oh, yeah, boy, I'm gonna..

Oh, look here, man.

Here's some emergency money

in case something gets broke.

But if that happens

I'm gonna break my foot off in your ass

and break your jaw.

In fact, don't use nothin'

don't touch nothin'

don't be nothin'.

Just lay up in here, be sick.

Okay.

Alright. Get well.

But don't have nobody in my goddamn house!

Especially them two punk ass friends of yours.

- 'Charles!' - 'Charles!'

I'm coming!

We gonna miss our flight.

Oh, he did the same thing on our honeymoon.

Oh, my.

Now, stuff it in the car!

[instrumental music]

♪ Uh huh uh huh ♪

♪ Yeah yeah ♪

♪ You wonder why nobody does it better ♪

♪ This one goes out ♪ ♪ Oh ♪

♪ To all the niggas out there yeah ♪

♪ I think they got some chillin' back ♪

♪ Homies chillin' ♪

♪ Oh ♪ ♪ Oh ♪

♪ I put my dick up in your bitch for the fuck of it ♪

♪ Don't represent some other shit ♪

♪ Like some billboard bubble and none that shit ♪

♪ 'Cause you ought to see me the Stevie ♪

♪ Then everyday you're gonna wonder why you wanna be me ♪

♪ 'Cause everybody know my favorite.. ♪♪

Whoo!

Damn.

[doorbell ringing]

[instrumental music]

Welcome, peasants.

- Damn. - Damn.

Yes, yes. Come on, come on, come on.

You know how we do it.

This is only the beginning, my friends.

[claps] Come, come.

This is the den.

- What is this? - Man.

Look, but don't touch.

Yes, take a look around, gentlemen.

Take a look around.

I like this.

This is fine.

You know, I'm so genius.

What if we threw a party..

...to end all parties?

I mean, like..

...the bomb.

Man, that's cool and everything

but why don't we just invite a couple of girls over

you know, some dime pieces, and just chill?

- Yeah. - Aah!

Wrong answer.

I mean, how often do you get to chill

in a crib like this?

- Well.. - Never.

My point exactly.

Man, this party could be big.

It could be talked about for years

and years and years to come.

Okay, then, when?

Tonight.

(both) Tonight?

How are we gonna have a party like that tonight?

We're not even in school to tell everyone.

[sighs] Peasants, peasants.

- Follow me. - Peasants?

- Who you callin' peasants? - What the..

Punk.

Right this way.

[music continues]

[keys clacking]

Welcome to the future of party promoting, my friends.

And it's just that simple.

The word is out

and we got plenty of food, drinks, and music.

You guys make you something to eat.

I got a phone call to make.

(both) Cool.

[music continues]

[dialing]

Who you calling?

[phone ringing]

Flip Wilson High School.

Hello, this is Angela Johnson

'Tina Johnson's mother.'

I would like to remove my daughter

from school today.

(both) Oh, man.

You want to what?

From school. Is there a problem?

Prob.. I ain't got no problem.

You can come down here and get your daughter.

Okay, could you just give her a little note

telling her where to meet me?

Mnm-mnm, mnm-mnm, mnm-mnm. Honey, I can't do that.

School policy says

'we cannot release a child'

under the age of 18..

...without a parent or a guardian.

So that means you just gonna have to walk on down here

and get your little diva.

But-but I'm..

But I'm at work. I can't pick her up.

I'm on my job, too.

So, anything else I can help you with?

No, thank you.

You've been a great deal of help already.

I guess I'll see you when I get there.

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

What you all looking at me for?

You all don't know you're old?

You should've graduated three years ago.

You so old, you stink. Get out of here.

- So, now what, player-player? - Uh-huh?

[clicks tongue] I figured they might say something like that.

But I got a plan.

- I'm stumped. - Man.

[instrumental music]

(Charles) 'Oh, yes!'

What the hell?

Ride 'em, cowboy!

Oh, yeah, girl!

- Ooh. - Yee-haw!

- Yeah. - Oh, wait, wait, wait.

I'm tender-headed.

Oh, I got some head for you to tend to.

Come on!

Look at him.

Yee-haw!

[both moaning]

[clears throat]

(Linda on TV) 'Ride 'em, cowboy!'

Oh, I'm sorry. We was accidentally..

Miss..

Jon Jon?

[laughs]

I almost fooled you, didn't I?

Oh, you trippin'.

And the key word is almost.

Are you out your mind?

Man, you all don't believe in nothin'.

We can do this.

(both) We?

When did you start speaking French?

Oh, I am not leaving you all two here by yourselves.

Why not?

I'll tell you why not.

Because if I leave you all by yourselves

I don't know what you're gonna get into next.

Well, you know what, I want to go

'cause I can't wait to see you get busted.

[scoffs] Busted? Are you crazy?

Man, I'm smooth as ice, twice as nice

and ain't never had a bad day in my damn life.

Now, come on.

Before I have to get my switch.

Come on!

- Let's get this over with. - Come on.

(Jon Jon) Come on.

Oh, hell, no. We can't take this.

(T) 'What do you mean, this?'

Man, this looks like it belongs

in the museum of modern crap.

Tina's mama wouldn't be caught dead

in a hooptie like this.

- Then what you want to do? - Come on.

[dramatic music]

(Mark) 'Now, that's a car.'

Correction, my friend.

This is an automobile

equipped with only the finest qualities of..

...everything.

It's alright.

I mean, the turn signal blink too fast on these cars.

I mean, blink, blink, blink, blink.

That's annoying.

Yeah, who wants a working turning signal anyway?

Whatever, man.

Now, come on. I gotta to be driving.

[engine cranking]

♪ Uh huh uh huh ♪

♪ Yeah yeah ♪

Welcome to Gay Way Airlines. How may I help you?

Welcome. Thanks for flying with us.

- First class. - First class.

- Thank you. - First class. Enjoy yourself.

- Coach. - Coach.

First class. Go on, diva. Work it out..

[indistinct chatter]

Enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself.

Mmm, oh, you..

[indistinct chatter]

Now, that was the person I was telling you about.

He don't look crazy to me.

Trust me, he is.

Hi, Mr. Lester, nice to see you again.

- Yeah. - Glad to have you.

If there's anything I can do

you can please let me know.

Uh, you got that special seat for me?

Yes, Mr. Lester, right here.

Right next to the emergency exit.

Just like you requested.

Okay, yeah. Thanks a lot.

Look, this ain't gonna take me

nothin' but a minute.

I'll be right back.

Hand me my purse.

Oh, he's gonna get caught.

Very much so.

Class, today we are going to be learning Shakespeare.

'Not just Shakespeare, but Macbeth.'

[humming]

Excuse me.

[clears throat]

What?

I'm here to pick up my daughter.

And who are you?

I'm Angela Johnson, Tina Johnson's mother.

Hmm.

We did speak on the phone, didn't we?

Yeah, that was me, alright.

Well, could you find my daughter?

- Go on, now. - 'Hm.'

[humming]

"Double, double, toil and trouble.

Fire burn, and cauldron.. "

[phone ringing]

Yes?

Ms. Tupay?

Why?

Fine.

Tina Johnson, your mother has come

'to pick you up early from school.'

"Twice the brinded cat hath mewed

"thrice and once the hedge pig

'"Tis the poisoned fillet of a snake'

'eye of newt and toe of long.."'

Oh, hell, no!

What was that, Ms. Harris?

Nothing.

[phone ringing]

Mm-hmm.

Uh, hello? Hey, unc.

(Charles on phone) 'Boy, what the hell you doing?'

[coughs] Nothing. Why?

(Charles on phone) 'I just feel something.'

'I know you're over there screwing around'

'with something, I know it.'

Oh, oh no. Trust me, unc. Everything is perfect.

[coughing]

[school bell ringing]

(Charles on phone) 'What the hell is that?'

Oh, that's just the TV, unc.

I'm watching Cooleyhighharmony

♪ It's so hard to say ♪♪

I gotta call you back. This is the best part.

[sighs]

Hmm.

♪ And Jesus loves me ♪

♪ Oh yes he does ♪

♪ The father by.. ♪

[coughs]

Uh, my mother's supposed to be picking me up.

Baby! Oh, look at you there.

How you doing, baby?

Ooh, ooh!

Uh, is there something wrong, mother?

Oh, no, baby, I just needed some help today.

- Help? - Help!

Well, I guess we'll be going now.

Toodle-oo.

Come on, baby. Come on, baby.

♪ Jesus loves me ♪

- What? - What?

They made it? Ha!

Yeah.

- In the back. - What?

Get in the back.

[indistinct chatter]

Ooh!

Monique, will you sit down, please?

I will not have any more interruptions

during Shakespeare.

"Double, double.."

See, I've lost my place.

'Where was I?'

♪ Number one single ♪

Welcome to Gay Way Airlines, where we fly happy.

See, this is the good part.

Charles, shut up. I ain't raise no sissies.

We have four emergency exits located..

(Both) Bling, bling, bling, bling.

Oh, kept my brains on. Yeah.

Ooh, you know I'm not putting this thing on.

This us our life vest, just in case we get ready

to go down, down in the water.

Something like this, this is what you use.

Have a good time using it.

Mm-hmm.

This is your oxygen.

Real simple, just buckle up.

Just buckle just that.

Dang, I forgot how that work.

It's in this book. Whew..

For your convenience, we have laptops

and computerized chess.

Now, just in case the plane decides to go down

down, down.

Mr. Lester, get prepared to die.

Please prepare for takeoff.

Buckle up, buckle up, buckle up.

Buckle up, yeah. Buckle up!

Buckle up. Don't scare the people.

I'm just tellin' em they need to buckle up.

This is gonna be a bumpy ride.

- 'Buckle up!' - Don't scare the people.

All this foolishness, doesn't make any sense.

It's supposed to be happy.

[plane engine revving]

[instrumental music]

Dang..

The things I do for you.

This is so dope.

Yeah.

You think you could get used to this?

I could try.

Come on, I'm gonna go get out of these clothes.

Mrs. Tupay, I am telling you

Jon Jon is behind all of this.

- Behind what? - Gettin' Tina out of school.

Earlier today, in computer science class

he sent an e-mail inviting everybody

to a party tonight.

Party?

Here are the test scores you wanted.

Thank you.

By the way, have you seen Jon Jon today?

So, what shall we do first?

Get a bite to eat, watch a little TV..

Take a swim?

There's a pool?

Oh, you know it.

Oh..

But I don't have a bathing suit.

- And? - And..

I'm just playin'. Hold on.

Bingo.

Yeah, that's it.

Hey, where are you going?

Well, I'm just gonna go downstairs

and get out of the rest of this stuff.

Come down after you're done getting dressed

and I'll tell you what's on the agenda for tonight.

Wow.

Excuse me.

[indistinct chatter]

Uh, say, Mr. Friendly

how many fat people you got on this plane?

- Excuse me? - You know, obese, fat people?

How many are on this plane? 'Cause, you know, they're

the leading cause of planes going down

with all they fat stuff on one side of the plane.

Fat suitcases, and all of a sudden, bam!

We going down faster than an old man without Viagra.

Charles, will you keep it down?

Down? Your eyelash is falling down.

We going down. The plane's going down.

You're gonna have to control yourself.

I got control. What's wrong with the controls?

(male #1) 'Nothing is wrong with the controls'

'but we were afraid that something like this'

was gonna happen, so we were prepared for you.

Oh, Myron!

Does Myron have a bible?

'Cause I'm tellin' you, I'm getting up

and walking around this plane, until someone..

Ooh.

- Mama? - I told you.

Mama.

Don't sass me!

Is that better, mama?

Oh, yeah, they look nice, honey.

Mama?

[phone ringing]

- Hello? - Jon Jon?

Uh, hi, mom.

Oh, how are you doing?

Uh, I'm okay.

Oh. Well, baby, do you need anything?

Jon Jon, are you there?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I'm-I'm here, mom.

(Judy on phone) 'I said, "do you need anything?"'

Oh, no, no, thank you.

I'm-I'm fine.

Okay. Well, you call me if you need anything.

Okay, sweetie? Mama loves you.

Yeah, love you, too, mom. Gotta go.

Something just popped up.

I'll talk to you later. Bye-bye.

Okay.

So, what should we do first?

Well..

[phone ringing]

Hey, it's Denise from Platinum Status Records.

- Hello. - Hi.

This is Denise from Platinum Status Records.

Is Charles in?

Oh, no, he's out of town for the weekend.

Oh, no, no.

I can't believe this is happening to me.

One of the artists he manages, high top

is signed to our label

and they're supposed to be in the studio tonight

and I can't find his phone number to tell him.

[sighs] Is there any way, any way you can get in touch with him?

My boss is mad at me and I don't know what to do.

Huh, well, he's on the plane

for the next couple of hours.

I guess he'll call you when he lands

or I'll have him call you?

If I'm still here. They're gonna fire me!

Is there a phone book or rolodex?

'Anything with the number in it?'

Oh, yeah, here we go.

What's the.. What's the artist's name?

- High Top. - High Top.

Oh, yeah, here we go, High top.

8-1-8-5-5-5-1-5-3-2.

Oh, thank you. Thank you!

If there's anything I can do for you.

'Anything. Let me know.'

[chuckles] Well, uh.. No, thanks.

What?

You know what?

I just got a idea.

Mark, T, come here!

What's up?

Remember when I said I wanted this party

to be talked about for years and years to come?

- Yeah, so? - What party?

Well, what if we get a few names

like R. Kelly, uh, Puff Daddy, Mace

just to name a few, to show up tonight.

Know what, that's cool and all, but there's one small problem.

You can't get those people to show up.

- What party? - No.

But my Uncle Charles can.

Oh, shit.

And all the numbers is right here.

Look, y'all go handle all the food and drink situation.

I got the guest list.

Baby, all I need you to do..

I'm gonna go take a swim

like you said that we would.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Girl, girl.

She is way too uptight.

Look, y'all go check

the cabinets and refrigerators and stuff.

I'll get started right here.

[instrumental music]

[clears throat]

Yeah, Mace.

Yeah, this is Charles Lester.

Listen, I'm havin' a little get-together tonight.

I wanted to see if you wanted to stop by and bring Tracey.

Yeah, Matthew knows?

Yeah, this is Charles Lester.

I need to test the new shower head tonight

I'm throwin' a big party.

Yeah, Jumbo.

Apple Salmon, brother, it's Charles Lester.

Yeah, I was callin' to see

if I can get Ginuwine down to my party tonight.

Oh, yeah, you can come, too.

Ha ha, alright, see you then.

Peace.

Hey, missy.

'Listen, I need the whole crew here tonight.'

'I'm throwin' a big party.'

Goddamn.

Look at her.

Look at that body.

Mmm, mmm, mmm.

'Jon Jon can't handle that.'

Now, see, I can handle that.

Uh-uh, you can't handle that.

Now, I can handle that.

Boy, do you know what I would do with that?

What would you do?

Man, I'd take some syrup

and spread it over her..

Pancakes, you know, the girl needs to eat

'cause I like my girls thick.

Look, whatever, man, shut up.

Look, I called every big name

in my uncle's rolodex.

They're on their way. All we gotta do..

Man, y'all ate up all the food.

- What? - What?

Here, take this and go get some more snacks

and stuff for the party.

Hurry back!

Matter of fact, take your time.

[instrumental music]

Yo, Jon Jon, I'm gonna take the car, alright?

Whatever, whatever.

[music continues]

Hmm. You're workin' it.

Mama, I'm tellin' you, Jon Jon is fakin'.

Why are you whispering?

Because I'm in class

and Mr. Kumiati is not nice.

I just got off the phone with him, he's sick.

He is fakin'.

- He's sick. - He's fakin'.

Oh, now, look, would you stop it already!

'You're obsessed with the fact that'

he's house-sitting instead of you.

Now have you ever stopped to think

that he could really be sick, huh?

'Now you should be ashamed of yourself.'

I'll be there to pick you up after school, okay?

Okay, he's fakin'.

Shh.

I know you did not just shush me.

Boo!

Where are your two little friends?

I'm talkin' about Mark and T.

I sent them to the store to get some snacks for the party.

Why is this so important to you?

'Cause it's fun, baby. It's fun.

No, I mean, really.

Why is it so important to you?

My uncle's famous in his own little way

and my dad is successful at what he does.

I don't know, I just wanna do something

that people will remember me by.

Baby, I have a feeling that

nobody you come across is gonna forget you.

♪ Now baby ♪

♪ Oh yeah ♪

[rumbling]

Oh, God, please.

Just get me through this

and I won't do no more rumbles.

No more cheatin' on those contracts.

No more of them sexy little groupies.

Okay, no more cheatin' on the contracts

for real, though.

Mr. Lester. Calm down.

Hey, man, you can't tell me what to do!

You can't tell me to calm down!

I'm a man with cars, houses, diamonds

rubies, and stuff!

I'm grown-ass, man.

[thunder crashing]

[screaming]

Mama.

- 'Whoo.' - 'Whoo.'

- 'This car is phat.' - 'Yo, yeah.'

(T) 'Why don't you see what CDs I got.'

'I'm about to play this.'

'Look at these girls.'

Oh, my god, he's, oh!

[women screaming]

[indistinct shouting]

Oh, no!

What did you do?

What did I do? What did you do?

[indistinct singing]

You know, I'm sorry, sir.

It's completely my fault.

[speaking in foreign language]

[speaking in foreign language]

I'm sorry, sir, it was our fault.

We was just lookin' at some girls. We sorry.

Yeah, it's not even our car. Please don't call the police.

- Take the money. Just-just-- - Sir, it's our fault.

No, no, thank you.

[indistinct singing]

What was his problem?

I don't know. This over $2,000.

Man, Jon Jon gonna bugger out.

You know what? I got an idea.

Don't even worry about it.

♪ The love ♪

♪ I see you this all about ♪

So what you gonna do after this summer?

I don't know. I think I might go to school.

Actually, I kinda wanna travel the world

and see places, 'cause I've never been any place.

I think I should see more of the world

before I make any major decisions

that might affect the rest of my life.

- What about you? - I don't know.

I'm gonna take the world by storm.

Ya know, me, Mark, and T

try to get our group off the ground

make some albums, become rich and famous.

You know, stuff like that.

What do you think will happen to us?

Well, I don't know, you talkin' about

travelin' and seein' the world

I'm talkin' about gettin' the group together

with Mark and T.

We'll probably chill all summer, and either get married

or go our own separate ways and never see each other again.

Let's hope for the first thing you said.

♪ Never gonna feel this way oh ♪

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain.

'You'll notice we have just activated seat belt signs.'

Miami International Airport

is experiencing extreme weather conditions

as the result of a storm

moving in from the Caribbean.

So those flying out of Miami will be delayed

until the weather clears up just a touch.

Our landing may be a little bumpy

but I can assure you our landing will be as normal as any.

Thank you for flying Gay Way Airlines today

and enjoy your travel.

Yo, man, how'd that sound?

Uh, I haven't seen weather this bad in 20 years, man.

'I don't think I can do this. This could be it.'

Listen, Ted, I haven't told you this

but I love you!

- What? - I heard you out there.

- You heard me? - The whole plane heard you!

Oh, for cryin' out loud. Turn the thing off.

[screaming]

See, I told you one day we were gonna die

and today is the day!

Would you stop actin' like a sissy!

We're gonna land.

Hey, sissy.

I ain't gonna be too many more sissies.

I'm from the Indian tribe, the slagahos!

[grunts]

[crying]

Baby, your friends are trifling.

That's Mark and T for you.

♪ Weeping ♪

- Damn! - What?

I think I told Mark and T they could use my uncle's car.

Ba-baby, what's wrong with that?

What's wrong with that?

Mark and T can mess up a wet dream!

If there's trouble, Mark and T are not too far from it.

Baby, come on, you're being silly.

[truck horn honks]

That's them.

[indistinct singing]

[thudding]

- The car got.. - Yo, we can expl..

I can explain.

Explain?

Man, what's there to explain?

You wrecked the car!

Man, it ain't wrecked.

It's just a little bumper damage.

Man, this a $100,000 car.

There is no such thing as bumper damage.

Yeah, but Ray Ray said he could fix it today.

Man, whatever!

We're havin' the biggest entertainment party

of the century in a couple of hours.

And did I forget to mention

we don't have the money to pay for this?

Yes, we do.

Where'd you all get this?

Yeah, where'd you get this?

Man, it's a long story.

Forget it, forget it.

So, you say you can fix this?

Maybe.

Maybe?

That's not what you said in the truck.

And y'all didn't say y'all's havin' a party, either.

Man, what the hell does that have to do with anything?

Well, I got two lovely daughters

'and matter of fact, it's they birthday'

and they would love to come to a party tonight.

Hell, no. no.

Man, this is a strictly entertainment party, that's it!

Entertainers! Oh, my daughters can sing!

They would love to come to this party.

Maybe they can get a record deal.

No.

- No way. - No way?

Okay, well, then, forget it, then!

Maybe some Beverly Hills garage

somewhere can fix it, maybe

much cheaper and faster.

[clamoring]

Hold on, hold on, hold on.

Look, the party starts at 7:00.

I thought you'd see it my way.

Okay, now, look, I'm trustin' you boys

'to take care of my daughters.'

Now if something should happen to my daughters..

Yeah, that's gonna be our asses.

No! That's your car!

[engine sputtering]

[engine rumbling]

[instrumental music]

[school bell ringing]

Yeah, they were. The two of them were together.

And everybody was lookin' at 'em.

She didn't know, yeah, he take a ride

but they were both in the club together last night.

That's right..

I need Jon Jon Harris' address.

He missed class today and I have to take

his classwork home to him

so he doesn't fall behind.

Honey, just wait a minute, okay?

Like when did you start carin' about a student fallin' behind?

[phone ringing]

Well.

Honey, like I was sayin', they got busted last night.

They was watchin'. Yes, they were.

(male #2) 'Hey, Monique, Monique.'

Alright, see you later.

Hi, what's up with that party tonight?

I don't even want to talk about the party.

Okay, I just.. It's real complicated.

Okay, I'll just call you after practice or something

to see what's up.

Hello, mother.

Mm-hmm, what's wrong with you?

What?

Hmm, you not actin' normal.

Well, I..

I guess I just feel bad

about accusing Jon Jon of fakin'.

You know, you're right.

Here he is sick, and I'm just mad

that I'm not at Uncle Charles' house.

Can we go check on him?

Make sure he's alright?

Oh, I am so glad you feel that way.

Alright, sweetie, let's go.

[instrumental music]

[doorbell rings]

[music continues]

Isn't that Mark Smith's car?

Yep, sure is, mm-hmm.

Come on.

Jon Jon's getting in troub..

Come on. Shh!

Wipe that stupid smirk off your face.

[grunts]

"And they lived happily..

...ever after."

Hey, Ms. Harris.

Hey, oh!

What's up, Monique?

How's my Jon Jon doing?

Mom. Mom, is that you?

Ohh, yes, it's me, baby.

Mom. I missed you, mom.

Yes, sweetie, boo boo.

Eh, Ms. Harris.

Oh..

...that is so sweet.

Yeah, we came over as soon as we could

to come check on him.

[groaning]

I-I know Uncle Charles said

no company over to the house

but I got so sick

I called Mark and T so they could come rescue me.

They're the best friends that anybody could ever have.

I can't believe this.

So you mean to tell me you didn't use

Uncle Charles' car to pick Tina up from school today?

How could I? The car's not even here.

You're right.

I'll show you the car that ain't

supposed to be here.

Oh, let's humor her.

'Mm-hmm.'

[whispers] Are they gone?

Ah-ha! What car?

- This look like a car to you? - Mama, I seen 'em.

No, you seein' something else, but you ain't seein' no car.

Now, my baby in there sick

you just in here trippin'!

I ain't got time for you!

Oh, Jon Jon.

Oh, baby

now that I see that you're in good hands

and your sister obviously needs some rest

you call mama if you need anything

okay, you pooky wooky..

[gibberish]

- Okay. - Alright, come on, girl.

- Bye, mama. - Bye, baby.

(both) Bye, Monique.

Bye, mo mo.

Oh, shut up.

Love you!

All clear?

Alright, we got a few more hours

before people start showin' up to the party.

Mark, T, y'all go get dressed.

Cool.

[instrumental music]

Babe, your mama gotta go to the bathroom.

I gotta go make water.

Mama, don't go nowhere.

We're about to get on a plane soon.

Son, I may not can see that good, but I can hear well.

We ain't goin' nowhere, no way soon.

Just let her go.

She's gettin on my last nerve.

I heard that.

Mama, just make sure if you're gonna go

remember your ticket

and remember what gate we're at.

Yeah, okay, baby. I know right where we're going.

Mama.

I know, I'm forgettin' it there.

Shoot.

[upbeat music]

- Hey! - Enjoy yourself.

- Hello. - How are you? Enjoy yourself.

Go on in.

Go rock yourself.

Where is my mama at?

- I told you not to let her go. - What?

You were the main one talkin' 'bout

"She's getting on my last nerve."

Oh, you know your mother's crazy.

Now I shouldn't have to babysit her.

Babysit? Oh.

Speakin' of baby-sitting, I'm gonna call that boy

and see what the hell's going on in my house.

Oh, would you stop it already!

Now I'm sure everything

is just like you left it.

[upbeat music]

- Alright, man, cool. - Baby, look.

- There go Ray Ray. - Cool, that's the car.

Okay.

[indistinct chatter]

(Ray Ray) 'Come on, babies.'

Ray Ray. Ray Ray!

Where's my car, man?

You said you'd have it here by tonight.

Chill. I got my best man on the job.

Now, meet my daughters.

My beautiful, lovely, lovely daughters!

'Bertha and Heidi.'

Nice to meet you.

(both) We like him, daddy.

[all chuckle]

Now, I'm gonna bring the car back

when I pick up the girls.

Now, I'm trustin' you boys.

Take care of my girls..

...or I'm a-take care of your car.

[laughs]

'Ladies, he's all yours.'

- Ohh. - Ooh, yeah.

I don't think he's ready for what's about to get you.

Oh, you think you're too skinny self over here.

- Don't hurt him. - Oh, oh, I won't.

I fight gentle.

How you doin', baby?

(both) Ugh.

Where are you goin'?

What was this?

Man, them is y'all dates for the night.

- All four of them? - All four of them.

I'm goin' to the party.

Oh, you look good.

Don't you know I'm the best girl

you gonna ever have in your life?

[indistinct]

How I look? How I look?

- I said how I look? - Alright.

Where is my mama?

Come on, we gonna go find her. Come on.

- Shoot! - Right.

Hey, girl, everything is fine. No, I'm havin' a good time

and I'm not playin' with the people tonight.

You know I'm not playin' with the peoples. You know I'm ready.

Uh, excuse me, Miss Ma'am thing.

How may I help you, sir?

Yeah, I need you to page someone for me.

Sorry, sir, we don't do that here.

Then, what the hell do you do?

I provide in-for-mation.

Okay, well, I got some information

I provide bitch slaps.

Now you better page my mama.

Fine! What's the lucky woman's name?

Mabel Lester.

Mabel Lester, would you please report to Gate 4.

There's someone waiting for you.

Is that fine?

Got your "Someone," scary berry.

Mm-hmm, bull, whatever you talkin' about--

Aah!

Take you and your scary friend home.

I'm not gonna let you mess up my 2000. Next?

This is ridiculous.

Let's just go find her.

Oh, actin' all crazy. What's wrong with you?

You know, the same thing happened on our honeymoon.

We had to go someplace that you wanted to go to.

Well, I'll tell you what, you don't have to go

no place with me.

That's fine with me.

Alright, then, fine. I'll tell you what

how 'bout we go the hell home?

- Fine. - Oh, fine!

This way.

Ohh!

Where are they?

Find her nowhere. She always get lost.

Why don't you all go to the bathroom together?

- Shut up. - Come on!

- Let's just go find her. - Shoot!

[rap music]

Hey, Jon Jon. Great party, man.

- Great party. - Oh, thanks.

Thank you. Thank you. What's up, man?

- Great party. - Thanks a lot, man.

[clinking]

Hey!

This is good, baby. This is real good.

You stuck your foot in it, didn't you?

- Can you pass me the corn? - How was your day, baby?

Oh, you know, Mark Wallace pissed me off

like he always do. Can I.. can I get the damn corn?

You heard your father ask for corn. Pass the corn!

What is wrong with you? Sitting here with the attitude.

All I want is a little bit of corn.

- How is Jon Jon doing? - Oh, he's doing much better.

He got Mark and T over there looking after him.

- Yeah, right. - You know what?

- You getting real close. - Mm-hmm. Yes, she is.

I brought you into this world. I'll take you out.

- Out! - Out.

[knock on door]

What..

...the hell is going on?

Mrs. Tupay?

- Who is this? - This is Mrs. Tupay.

She's one of the teachers at our school.

Uh, may we help you?

I came by to see if your son

was truly home sick today

and as I expected

he's not even here.

As you expected?

That's what I've been saying all day.

Wait a minute. You-you've got to be kidding me.

First of all, Jon Jon is sick.

- Jon Jon ain't sick. - Shh!

And he's staying at his uncle's house for the weekend

and it ain't none of your business.

I hope that you are happy knowing

that your son's missing very important days of school.

E-excuse me.

We're very happy with Jon Jon and his performance

so if you don't mind, we're in the middle of dinner.

- Well, I-- - That means goodnight!

Go on! Get!

I'm telling you, Linda, where are you?

Man.

Is anybody sitting here?

Well, if they are, they're awfully little.

[chuckles]

I love a woman with a sense of humor.

♪ Now you're giving drama ♪♪

Girl, I'm.. do you smell it, girl?

- I smell it. - Oh, I know I smell it.

- Oh, we found the mother lode. - Thank you, Jesus.

Oh, thank you, Jesus.

Girl, I gotta come here more often. Mutton.. oh.

[mumbling]

So, you going to the Bahamas?

Well, I'm looking for my children.

We are going to the Bahamas or something.

Oh, real.. Why, I don't think they got too far.

They ain't letting the planes go right now.

- Oh, really? - You know what?

Maybe they're in that bar right over..

- No, o-over there. - Where?

- Over there. Oh.. - What bar?

Over there.

I don't see 'em.

- Well, I tell you what. - What?

I'll go with you, keep you safe.

We'll go find 'em. You and me, let's go.

[chuckles] Okay. You mean well.

After you.

[indistinct chatter]

(both) What the hell!

Uh-huh. Girl, I think I ate too many pieces.

It's easy, you know, girl

'cause I gotta an olive in my grill.

Girl, help me out. Go take that.

Ooh. Ooh.

Get the bottom, get the bottom, girl!

Mmm!

Aah! Girl, I just said get the bottom

don't stab me! Dang!

Well, go ask one of 'em to dance.

- You ask one to dance. - You!

At least it'd get them away from the food.

Are you crazy?

Have you ever tried to take a bone away from a pit bull?

Now try and take one away from Godzilla.

- Mm! - Mmm.

I got to get the recipe, here, girl

'cause I got to take some of this home, okay?

Y'all want to dance?

- Dance? - Sure.

- Go, girl. - Let's go, girl.

[grunts]

I can't hurt you. Smack it up. Come on.

Come on, come on.

Hello.

I'm Lisa Layme

from Platinum Status Records.

Is Charles here?

Oh, yeah, he's right on inside.

There she is!

- Where you been? - Oh, she's drunk!

Mama, come on. We're gonna see if there's a flight out of here.

Don't you sass me.

Gay Way Airlines, where everyone flies happy.

Have a good day.

There's Rupaul! That's Ru--

Can I get your autograph? Can I get your autograph?

Mama, that ain't no Rupaul.

That's just Paul.

Oh, my God, just let her get his autograph. She drunk.

I'm not drunk.

Excuse me, do you have any more flights

leaving out of Miami going to the Bahamas tonight?

There are no more flights going out this evening from Miami.

Feel free to stay at a hotel that we provide for you

and we can send you out in the morning.

Man, I don't want to be staying in your little

fairyland hotel.

Mama, don't you know somebody

that used to live in Florida

that had a plane or something?

A cousin, a..

Uh...oh!

My cousin, yeah.

Yeah, he live in, uh, um, um, um

Fort, um..

- Fort Lauderdale? - Yeah, that's it.

- We can walk over there. - 'It's an hour and a half.'

Unh-unh. I'll go get a limo.

No. We'll go get a cab. Come on.

- It's your mess. - Bye, Ru!

♪ Baby guy must be crazy ♪

♪ Yeah it's true ♪ ♪ It's true ♪

♪ He's so unstable why did you go and meet me.. ♪♪

- Mmm. - Mmm..

(Mr. Harris) Je t'aime, ma chere amour.

I don't know what you're saying..

...but it's working for me.

[both chuckle]

Eww!

What?

- The dishes are done. - Good.

I was wondering--

(both) No!

Can I use the car to go to Yolanda's house?

Look, it's-it's kind of late, isn't it?

Daddy, it's Friday night.

[whispering] Please? Please?

Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead and go.

Go straight there, and no hanging out!

A-and call us when you get there!

And cover up, girl!

Now, where were we?

Somewhere in France..

...down South

Compton.. I don't know.

[both laugh]

[beeping]

[instrumental music]

[sighs]

(Jon Jon on phone) 'Hello?'

I know you're up to something.

Now, I haven't figured out exactly what yet

but you can't fool me with that sick bullcrap.

'Hey, dad, I'm okay.'

[coughing] 'It's just a little hard to talk right now.'

- What are you talking about? - 'Okay, dad.'

'Thanks for calling. Love you.'

'Bye.'

[Jon Jon coughs]

[engine cranking]

Son of a bitch.

[rap music]

- Hey! - Hey, now.

There y'all go right over there.

(both) Eww.

Girl, look at that.

Oh, you can't be serious.

For the first time in my life

I think I am.

Jon Jon, we're about to push up

on these girls over there.

Look, y'all got one job tonight.

Keep those two happy.

[indistinct whispering]

- Yeah, I'm about to.. - Oh, no, no.

Oh, no. Where you going, baby?

Where you going?

Wait a minute. You kinda strong.

- Do you work out? - You kinda handsome.

'Cause if you're not working out, we walk you back

some refrigerator from the couch.

Yo, man, can you get up to Fort Lauderdale tonight?

Oh, yeah, but y'all better hop in

before it starts raining again.

Yeah. Come on, mama. Let's go. Come on.

Let's go. Come on.

Whoo.

[instrumental music]

Yo, man, can you please stop that windshield wiper

from rubbing that dry ass glass?

It's driving me crazy. Turn it off!

It stopped raining 20 minutes ago.

Now that you mention it..

...have you ever seen a talking dog?

I had me a talking dog once!

[laughing] I loved that dog.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, well, I once had a cat that meowed.

[laughing]

Man, I don't want to hear any of your

animal captain-kangaroo weirdo stories.

Man, just peace and quiet, man.

I just want to drive in peace and quiet.

Peace and quiet?

Peace and quiet is good

but it doesn't stop the voices, man

'cause the voices, they just keep getting louder.

And they keep getting louder and louder.

[both laughing]

Uh-oh.

♪ Hey now ladies guess who's back? ♪

♪ LDB Romeo and Bat ♪

♪ For the 99 it's phat stack ♪

♪ Yo ra-ra about to rip the track ♪

♪ You took my heart and ran with it ♪

♪ Why you so damn scandalous? ♪

Taking over, okay?

More the fun, baby. More the fun.

♪ Oh my God what'd I do? ♪

♪ I'm caught up in your game with you ♪

♪ My best friend's girl what a shame ♪

♪ Why'd you play these silly games? ♪

♪ Try to put the blame on me ♪

♪ I always knew you were a freak ♪

♪ I seen you looking right away ♪

♪ Girl you got a bomb body.. ♪

Look at my man. He look good.

♪ You're like my sis never thought it would be ♪

♪ But there was something that you did when you looked at me ♪

♪ That made me wanna get a little bit freaky ♪

♪ Then I started thinking about my boy he said ♪

♪ What would he do if he knew ♪

♪ His homie was creeping with you? ♪

♪ You ♪ ♪ Keep it on the low ♪

♪ We never should have did it yo girl ♪

♪ My best friend ♪

♪ He can never ♪

♪ He can never know never know ♪

♪ Get up and get your stuff girl ♪

♪ You must go ♪

♪ Keep it on the low ♪

♪ Keep it on the low ♪

♪ We never should have did it yo girl ♪

♪ My best friend.. ♪

Girl, who needs all your attitude like that, girl?

You better check yourself.

Somebody better come get this girl.

♪ Immature come on dance with me ♪

♪ Romeo Batman LDB ♪

♪ Everybody come on dance with me ♪

♪ Come on come on dance with me ♪

♪ Can't forget Chris B-Z ♪

♪ Everybody in the house dance with me ♪

♪ Everybody in the house dance with me ♪

♪ Come on come on come on come on ♪

Girl, I'm trying to tell you 'cause I know

one would gift-wrap one of them and take me one of them home.

♪ Keep it on the low ♪ ♪ Yeah yeah ♪

♪ We never should have did it yo girl ♪

♪ My best friend ♪

♪ He can never know ♪ ♪ Never know never know ♪

♪ Get up and get your stuff girl ♪

♪ You must go ♪

♪ Keep it on the low ♪ ♪ On the low ♪

♪ We never should have did it yo girl ♪

♪ My best friend ♪ ♪ My best friend ♪

♪ He can never know ♪

♪ Oh oh ♪

♪ Oh oh oh ♪

Girl, what you pushing on?

- Excuse me, - Not your man, girl.

♪ We never should have did it yo girl ♪

♪ My best friend ♪

♪ He can never know ♪

♪ Whoo yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Keep it on the low ♪ ♪ Yeah yeah yeah ♪

♪ We never should have did it yo girl ♪

♪ My best friend ♪

♪ He can never ♪

♪ He can never know never know ♪

♪ Oh oh ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Keep it on the low low ♪♪

[all applauding]

[women screaming]

[tires screeching]

- Hey, yo, what's up, Monique? - Shut up.

[all applauding]

I'm gonna go get a drink, okay?

(Lisa Layme) Boy, oh, man.

Your uncle never told me that he had a nephew

with all that talent.

Is that what this is all about?

A showcase for his new group?

- 'Right?' - Yeah. Yeah.

That's why I didn't see him all night, huh?

Exactly.

- We need to talk. - Okay.

'Cause you fellas can sing.

Oh, we do a little somethin' somethin'.

Oh, I-I love your look, too.

- Thanks a lot. - Yeah.

So you guys have a name?

Well, not really.

Huh, well, let me see.

What would you call

a group of young city boys?

Because you guys are just fantastic, hot.

- We need to go forward. - Yeah.

Yeah.

[snoring]

[dramatic music]

[gasping]

[gasps]

[whispering] Mama. Mama.

Look. Look.

This is the killer.

That man is the killer.

[indistinct chatter]

Mama, look. That's him.

Okay, we gotta tell Charles.

He's asleep. Wake-wake him up.

Ow! Damn.

What?

Something wrong with your neck?

You got heartburn?

'Girl, what's up, what's up? What?'

Hey!

[dramatic music]

Uh, man, pull over.

I need to pee. I need to pee.

'Yeah, my bladder's about to explode.'

'Please pull over.'

You interrupted me.

I hate being interrupted!

We have to go to the bathroom, too.

'We gotta go, too.'

I'm not there yet.

I'm not there yet.

We're gonna get there.

Mama, you know him as Bill.

Use your girlish charms. Now you gotta suck up.

Just be patient, okay?

Come on. Talk.

Bill..

Bill..

- Bill.. - Hi, Mabel.

Bill.

'Can we pull over and go dancing?'

Oh, Mabel, I'm gonna pull over in a little bit.

'I got a special place I'm gonna take you to.'

Oh, alright.

Oh, mama!

Uh, there's a talking dead dog in the street! Look!

Aah!

Who would do that to a dog?

Whoever would hurt a talking dog

is a dead man!

Hey, man, dogs are man's best friend.

Don't anybody move!

Don't move.

Aah.

(Charles) 'Mama, you better come on.'

Oh, my God!

He gonna kill us.

He gonna kill us!

- Oh, I can't! - Yeah, yell louder, girl.

All he got to do is get to someone's house.

Come on, mama. Come on!

Damn! Oh!

I'm gonna kill 'em! I'm gonna kill 'em!

I'm gonna kill 'em! I'm gonna kill 'em!

I'm gonna kill 'em!

Mama, what kind of little raggedy crop-dusting plane

has your cousin got us on?

This is cousin Herpes' plane.

- Herpes? - Yeah.

He been flying for three whole months.

Oh, God, mama, three months ain't long enough

to learn your damn name let alone fly a plane!

Well, we'd be in the Bahamas now

if it wasn't for you, 'cause you're so cheap.

- Cheap! - Yeah, I got your cheap.

Remember that when you're shopping, woman. Cheap.

Hey, y'all need to get up and quit that stuff.

Hey, hey, mom. Hey.

- Got a word for you. - What?

Tic-tac.

Finally get a chance to be alone.

Finally.

Baby, I think we got a record deal.

- Get out of here. - No, I'm serious.

What? And what about Mark and T?

I haven't even told 'em yet.

- What's up, man? - Monique is here.

- What?! - What do you want me to do?

I don't know. Keep her occupied.

Take her by the pool or something.

Unh-unh. Not this time.

[rumbling]

Your cousin need to keep this plane straight!

Straight!

[droning]

'Straighten it out.'

[instrumental music]

So, what do you have against Jon Jon?

- Everything. - Really? Like what?

Well, first of all, he faked being sick

so he could house-sit instead of me

and then he doesn't even invite me to the party.

Who said he didn't invite you?

He didn't send an e-mail out to everyone but you.

'You just took it that way'

'and, I mean, Jon Jon's your brother.'

Is there anybody that can have fun with him

shoot, it would be you.

You're so stuck on being jealous

about him having fun with his life

'but you can have fun with your own.'

And that's nobody's fault but yours.

You're right.

[all whimpering]

Look at that.

Oh, mama!

What? I'm scared.

♪ Now you know we good to go my niggas ♪

♪ We came and he's still my nigga ♪♪

♪ Wanted you to come back to ♪

♪ My room so we could spend ♪♪

♪ Come on nobody does it better ♪

[telephone ringing]

Hello?

(Charles) 'Jon Jon!'

Uh, hey, unc.

What's all that noise?

Oh, no. No. That's-that's just, uh, the TV.

Well, we came back early.

So I need you to come pick us up.

- In-in your car? - Yeah, in my car.

Oh, well, I don't think you want me to drive

with me being, still being sick.

Boy, you better be sick. I was just playing with you.

You better not touch my car.

- I'll be home in an hour. - In an hour?

Bye!

Damn, where's Mark and T?

There you are. Whoa. Whoa! What's wrong?

We're trying to hide from Bertha and Heidi.

Look, I got some good news

and I got some bad news.

The good news is we might got a record deal.

Look, but the bad news is

my uncle's on his way in an hour!

- What! - Yes!

Look, y'all start cleaning up.

I'm gonna go and try to get these people out of here.

Excuse me!

My uncle would like to thank everybody for coming

but he's got to go to bed now

so everybody has to leave.

Excuse me! Hello!

All the food and drinks are gone!

[record scratching]

(male #1) It's gone? Let's get outta here.

[indistinct clamoring]

[instrumental music]

Ok, I put your auntie's alpha back up.

The house is clean. Everything's back to normal.

Good. Ray ray.

Just the man I want to see.

- Where's the car, man? - What!

My girls called me and told me

y'all didn't introduce them to nobody.

They didn't introduce us to no-body.

But the kitchen.

(Ray Ray) Oh, my poor babies.

I thought they said that they was having them a party, girls?

- Oh, go, daddy! - Here we go.

- Drop, daddy! Drop! - Drop it on down.

[indistinct chatter]

Wait, wait! What about the deal?

Now, you ain't got no deal.

I said I would fix the car and I did..

...but you gotta pick it up your damn self!

- Yourself. - Heidi and Bertha.

Let's go! Let's get the hell up outta here!

Outta here! Outta here!

Come on let me out the back-end box.

- Damn! - What's going on?

- I don't even know. - So now what?

Look, Ray Ray fixed the car

but it's back at his shop.

Y'all take me over there. Come on.

Oh! Oh, boy!

I am glad to be home and I hope

that boy got my house straight

or I'm gonna break him up some, too!

(Linda) Shoot, it takes about 45 minutes to get home

and you got a lot of breaking off to do with me. Hmm!

[engine running]

Alright.

Bye, baby.

[rap music]

Oh, turn that up a little bit.

Ooh, I like that.

Hmm. We just got back off vacation.

Oh, really? Did you all have a good time?

Oh, yeah. We had a ball.

We just can't remember what we did.

[instrumental music]

(Jon Jon) 'Come on. Come on.'

Get-get over!

Charles! Charles.

Isn't that Jon Jon in your car?

(Charles) Yeah, mama, and that's

Patti Labelle riding shotgun in the front seat.

Oh, I like Patti Labelle.

Gosh, I hope grandma didn't see me.

Oh! She probably won't remember anyway.

Move over, girl.

[sighs]

[music continues]

[grunting]

Charles, did you tip him?

I got a tip for him. Don't eat yellow snow.

- Hey, unc! - Hey, what..

Uh-uh, get your sick ass off me.

How rude, you.

- How's my car? - A-okay.

Is that your sister over there?

- Hey, unc! - Hey, baby. Come here.

Mm! Good to see you. How you doing?

- Fine. - Good. Good.

- Jon Jon-- - I can explain!

Told me to come pick him up

'cause you were coming home early.

[coughing]

Boy, how's my house?

It's just like you left it.

Good! Better be.

Well, good. I'm going to bed.

Good night, Jon Jon.

Ooh, auntie, that's cute.

Thank you.

Warm up them videos.

[chuckles]

- Hey, nana. - Hey, baby.

Drive careful, and this time be careful

with Patti Labelle. Okay?

Shut up!

So who's gonna give me the rest of my money?

(both) Shut up!

[telephone rings]

Yeah.

(Lisa on phone) 'Charles, boy, you did it again!'

'I just wanted to call you and tell you'

'what a wonderful time I had'

'and how it was such a money-making experience.'

(man on TV) 'This is the man that police in Florida say'

'is responsible for multiple unsolved murders.'

(Lisa on phone) 'I'm sending over to you'

'a contract on Monday.'

Yeah, okay..

Mm-hmm.

(man on TV) 'The killer, who is yet to be identified'

'was working as a cab driver.'

'Witnesses say he's on the prowl'

'because someone killed a talking dog.'

'More news after these messages.'

(Linda) 'Charles!'

'I'm saddling up!'

Oh, baby, here I come.

You did not talk to me the whole way here.

Why did you help me?

I guess I had to.

You are my brother

but you best believe your ass is helping me

get out of school next week.

(both) Sequel.

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Ooh somebody let out one ♪

♪ Ha ha ha haa ♪

♪ I'm goin' down to Jon Jon's ♪

♪ And have me some fun ♪

♪ Five four three two one ♪

♪ Down to the last minute let's have some fun ♪

I'm sure I did.

Mark, T, come here!

- What's up? - Oh, Lord..

What's crackin', homies?

[all laughing]

[clanging]

[chuckling ] Yo.

[indistinct chatter]

[clanging]

[laughing ] Yo.

[indistinct chatter]

I'll be there to pick you after school, okay?

♪ When I pulled up in my ride ♪

♪ There was four fly girls.. ♪

- Little bitch. - 'Cut!'

Oh, God, he's gonna kill us!

- He's gonna kill us! - Come on, mama.

All we gotta do is get to your cousin's house.

We're in Fort Lauderdale. Come on, mama!

[grunting]

I'm gonna kill 'em, I'm gonna kill 'em!

I'm gonna kill 'em!

(Mama) Aah! Wait for me, fool!

Oh, please, I..

- What's up? - Get off me.

(male #2) 'And background action.'

Oh, where are they? They was over here.

It's the right gate.

Hey. Anybody sitting here?

Well, if they are, they're awful little.

Ohh, no! I love a woman

with a sense of humor!

Hey, watch it, buddy.

Hey, you going to the Bahamas?

Yes, but I'm looking for my kids.

They're over in the Bahamas..

We're going to the Bahamas or something.

Oh, you want mommy to take you to the doc--

No!

No, I hate doctors.

[panting]

Oh.

Oh, I guess you are sick.

You want mommy to take you to the--

No!

[laughs]

Now do you think you can go over

to Uncle Charles' house, huh?

And wrestle with a werewolf?

Maybe.

Oh. Okay.

Well, all he needs is somebody

to watch the house for the weekend, okay?

I'm gonna beat your ass, kid.

[straining] I can make it.

Oh, no, no, baby.

- Mama getting a bib. - Oh, oh.

Oh. Oh, oh.

Now I'll make you feel better!

[both laughing]

- 'Cut.' - 'Marker.'

Calm down, girls. Now don't get excited.

And I'm gonna say that I wanted to.. We ready?

Uh...okay.

Now when I come back to pick..

What's the line?

Now these are my two beautiful

voluptuous daughters, Heidi and Bertha..

Bertha and Heidi. Ohh!

Girls, girls.

♪ But I really was lookin' at your friend ♪

Don't hurt 'em.

There she is, there she is.

I brought you in this world

(male #2) 'Watch out! And I..'

There she is.

I brought you in this world, I'll take you out.

(male #3) 'Ready, and action!'

♪ I was lookin' at your friend ♪

[clinking]

Hey!

It's real good, babe, real good.

You stuck your foot in it, didn't you?

- Could you pass me the corn? - Mmm, how was your day, baby?

Well, you know, my boss pissed me off like he always does.

Can I get the damn corn?

You heard your father, pass the corn!

What is wrong with you?

I'm just trying to get some damn corn and you're sitting--

Can I get some corn, what's up?

Here. Get your own plate, boy!

You're supposed to be somewhere sick! Make no sense.

I know that you weren't sick. Mama..

Ray Ray, just the man I wanted to see.

- Where's the car? - What?

Boy, my daughters called me and said

that you all didn't even introduce them to nobody.

Nobody but the dogs. That was wrong.

- I ain't saying anything. - Dog?

I thought they says they was having them a box?

♪ Go daddy go daddy ♪

♪ It's your birthday, it's your birthday ♪

♪ Get your freak on daddy now go ♪♪

Hey, well, what about the deal, man?

You ain't got no deal.

You.. No, wait.

I'm gonna pick up from there.

[laughing]

(male #3) 'Keep going.'

You ain't got no deal.

Ohh, he has his meat, baby.

Mmmmm.

♪ I'm going down to Jon Jon's ♪

♪ And have me some fun ♪

♪ Five four three two one ♪

♪ Down to the last minute let's have some fun ♪

♪ Five four three two one ♪

♪ Down to the last minute ♪

♪ Five four three two one ♪

♪ Down to the last minute ♪

♪ Minute? Is that the name of the picture? ♪

♪ I done forgot again ♪

♪ I'm sorry the bucket's all messed up ♪

♪ And they ain't got no money and they got me up here ♪

♪ Trying to do a song with no money ♪

♪ I can't remember what I ain't getting paid ♪

♪ Speaking of money ♪

♪ That's down to the last minute on the budget ♪

♪ On the money Oh man I'm telling you ♪

♪ Money hurts when you ain't got no money ♪

♪ Can't talk can't remember nothin' ♪

♪ Hoo I feel confused ♪

♪ Please help me oh boy ♪

♪ Maybe I need to go to the house party ♪

♪ Or something I just don't know what happenin' ♪

♪ Down to the last minute ♪

♪ Five four three two one ♪

♪ Them Spanish people got the love ♪

♪ Down in Tijuana ♪

♪ Down in Tijuana ♪

♪ Five four three two one ♪

♪ Ooh them Orientals got too ♪

♪ Smelling farts ♪

♪ Oh my goodness ♪

♪ Five four three two one ♪

♪ Ooh took this laxative I gotta run ♪

♪ And must be on the studio not getting paid ♪

♪ Five four three two one ♪

♪ It's out where's my check? ♪

♪ Hello? Cash.. ♪

♪ Somebody pay me ♪

♪ Hello I can't stand this I'm broke ♪

♪ I'm walkin' I got diarrhea ♪

♪ It ain't working for Mama Stokes keep goin' ♪

♪ I didn't wanna put Mama Stokes in there ♪

♪ Erase that out ♪♪