Original subtitles

What a sense of humour!

Where do you work, son?

Actually...

I work at--

He works as a quality head in an MNC.

I see.

What's the name of the company?

The name of the company--

It's a very big and reputed company.

But what is it called?

Um...

Cando

Condoms.

Mr Lamba, this job will ruin my life.

I don't wish to do it any more.

I am requesting you.

No, I beg of you!

I will also give you a raise.

But please, don't quit this job.

I will not stay even if this company is handed over to me.

Please, don't say that.

What should I tell my friends and relatives?

What does he do?

He makes condoms.

You don't have to berate the condoms.

I am never getting married if I continue with this job.

Of course, you will get married,

but you will not find a job as noble as this.

I am a college graduate, with Honours!

And there is something called, honour.

You will get honour here as well.

The factory is filled with it.

I will do anything but work at this seedy place.

Get out of my way. Please!

You'll get hurt.

Shall I serve lunch?

KARNAL

Chemistry is very easy once you understand it.

Can I show you something interesting?

Yes, Ma'am.

Do you really want to see it?

Yes, Ma'am. -Yes, Ma'am.

Can I have a rupee bill? -Sure.

Here you go.

Hey, now my father will kill me!

How did you do this magic trick?

It's not a magic trick.

It's just chemistry.

Ethanol would have burnt the bill.

So, we added some water.

So, ethanol burnt away and the bill

is intact!

Come on!

Write down the chemical formula of ethanol.

Hey, what are you doing? -Mum needs it on the terrace.

Wait! Get back to the formula.

Wait! Where are you going?

Give it back.

Praise the Lord!

Wait!

Here you go, Mum. -Oh, hell!

Mum!

Mum!

How many times have I told you

that you can never be a gambler, let alone being a winner!

Yesterday, you lost a jar in the game.

And yet, here we are.

Are you going to bet on us next?

Your mother is about to pull a miracle.

This move will win back everything I've lost.

You'll see. -Sure!

Hey, loser gang!

Get lost from here!

Else, I will make sure that you lose all your hair!

Come on, get going. -Yes, sure.

Just settle our account.

Your account?

You, low-life nuts!

You have some cheek!

Come on, leave.

Come on, let's go!

Get the hell out of here.

Hey, you--

Mum!

How many times have I told you not to do this?

I am managing it, right?

Oh, sure.

Your measly tutoring jobs are going to make us billionaires.

Of course, not.

Obviously, gambling is the best way to become a billionaire!

A billionaire, it seems!

I'm going for an interview.

I will get a job in no time.

Kill me, now!

KALRA PUJA SHOP FOR EVERY DEVOTIONAL NEED

Greetings.

Please, don't do that!

An employer should not greet an employee like this.

I say this every day, but you never listen.

Uncle, we are answerable to Him,

this is where I earn the money, and this is how I earn my blessings.

God bless you. I'm going down,

call me if you need anything. -Okay.

Chotu! -Yes, sir.

Go down and get a carton.

There is an order to be delivered. I'll tell you the list.

Dad,

please, keep this.

Rishi,

'bhaiji' had called.

He has asked you to attend Amit's engagement this evening.

Make sure that you don't forget it,

or else the volcano named, 'bhaiji' will erupt once again.

Yes, I will go.

Chotu, note this down.

Five thousand lamps,

twenty-five kilos of almonds,

ten thousand incense sticks,

two hundred kilos of ghee,

Please, write it down.

Yes, sir. -Okay.

Two sacks of mango wood.

Make sure it's mango wood, and not sandalwood.

It's for a wedding, not a funeral.

It doesn't make any difference, sir.

He is set for my doom.

Are all the messages ready?

Yes, the marketing campaign is ready to go.

The messages of 'Good morning', 'Good afternoon', and 'Good evening'

placed on the background images of Lords Ganesha, Goddess Laxmi,

and Lord Shankar.

The name of the shop,

'Kalra Puja Shop' will be at the bottom,

along with your phone number.

Add my name as well. -Okay, sir.

Dad,

please, give the bike keys to Pintu when he comes.

He will get it serviced. I'll be back in a bit.

Where are you going?

Mahavir Nagar.

A priest hasn't paid his dues.

Instead, he just sends his blessings on WhatsApp.

Let me seek his blessings in person.

Please, take this seat.

You must be tired from running after the bus.

You must be getting late for work-- -Are you hitting on me?

Excuse me?

You are misunderstanding me.

I just saw that you-- -Really?

Based on my clothes, you took me for a modern girl.

And you assumed that I must be an easy girl.

You give up your seat only for pretty girls, right?

That's not true. You are misunderstanding me...

It's cut!

Dad, a bill of 2000 rupees!

Mr Lamba,

look closely.

It must be a 1000-rupee bill, gone obsolete after demonetization.

No, it is a 2000-rupee bill.

Wait, I'll just show you.

Hey!

Hey, you!

Yes, you!

Why are you cheating?

Why did you use that rock?

Hey!

Dad, this string is like a hardened felon!

It's just not cracking!

Let’s try a bit harder.

It's just not breaking!

Uncle!

Uncle!

Uncle!

Uncle!

Are you calling me?

Yes, you!

If you don't know how to fly a kite, try a balloon!

Why did you have to cheat using that rock?

It's you who is cheating, not me!

You are clearly using a metal string!

Uncle,

could a kite attached to a metal string ever fly?

Here's a thing,

come on up and break it.

If you succeed, you can have the 2000-rupee bill,

otherwise, the bill will be ours.

I'm coming up to show you. Just keep a slice of lemon ready!

A lemon?

Does she want to have a lemonade?

Amazing!

Isn't it amazing?

How did you do this magic trick?

It's not a trick,

it's just chemistry.

I'll explain it.

'We have to apply C3H6 to increase the tensile strength of the string.'

'C3H6 means, polypropylene.'

'When you get the spool,

just apply polypropylene along the entire length of the string.'

'Polypropylene increases the strength of the string.'

'And our string is ready!'

'Just stick a 2000-rupee bill to your kite,

and watch it soar into the sky!'

It has been cut!

Isn't it amazing?

Come on, let me have my money.

Sure.

Please, hurry up! -Here.

Thank you.

This is what I like about the young generation.

They include smallest of the detail

while explaining a chemical reaction.

By the way, what do you do?

I am a college graduate in chemistry.

But presently, I am working as a chemistry tutor.

I can tutor your son.

He will be able crack the toughest of the entrance tests, for sure!

Otherwise, he will continue wasting his energy in these petty antics.

I must get going.

Did you see that?

Now, I don't have to run from pillar to post.

The girl has been found!

But she is a girl.

You are planning on offering her a job at the plant?

Do you wish to get beaten up?

Sattu,

nowadays, there is no difference between genders.

And I really like this quality about the young generation.

Don't worry.

I'll manage.

Okay, then. You better manage it.

CHANGE THE WRONG JOB TO THE RIGHT ONE. UPGRAD.

Uncle!

Oh, my!

Aren't you the chemistry tutor?

That's right.

Since that day,

I knew that you will return with an offer.

Right.

The demonstration was quite powerful, right?

Excuse me?

So, was that demonstration given for my benefit?

I am so stupid.

I was stressed for no reason,

and I kept wondering whether you'll agree to do it.

What are you saying?

Why wouldn't I do it?

To be honest,

there are no jobs available in this city.

You know something?

One should not turn down a job offer.

Darling,

I really like this quality about the young generation.

They don't accept an elapsing job,

and they never turn down a potential job offer.

That's true.

After all, it's just chemistry.

Absolutely! It's just chemistry.

Nobody gets it.

Uncle,

theory, practicals,

tests, everything will improve!

You can stop worrying now.

Darling,

your passion and enthusiasm towards work

has made my eyes well up.

I do have passion.

So, have you done these tests before?

Yes, of course!

Obviously, there are tests in chemistry.

The Lord has answered my prayers.

I was looking for a girl, just like you.

Come to the plant tomorrow, -Okay.

and get started with the work. -Yes.

Which plant?

The plant...

which produces my product.

The product which needs to be tested.

Which test?

Um...

Remember what you told me,

about the tensile strength?

Uniform pressure.

It's about that. It's all the same.

So, this isn't about chemistry tutoring for your son?

Tutoring?

I was...

offering you a job.

What job? -Take a look.

What is it?

Here's my ad, 'Looking for a condom-quality tester’.

Uncle,

respect your age, at least!

You should be ashamed of yourself, for making such propositions!

Yes, initially, I did feel ashamed.

When my father planted this idea in the plant.

You are incorrigible!

But this is noble work.

It's noble work. -Noble work?

Do you want me to gather people? Do you?

Look, you have misunderstood me.

You don't have to make anyone try it on,

you just have to test it. -Trying it on?

Uncle, now I will test the tenacity of my shoe!

Darling, there is an explosion of population

in all of Karnal. -Let me show you.

Please visit the plant, just once.

Just once. -His plant!

I need a person like you,

for the quality control.

It's just chemistry.

And there will be an increment for you

even before joining the company.

Your salary will be 25,000 rupees.

No!

No? But--

Okay,

how about 30,000?

No!

Let's finalize it

on 35,000.

Uncle, 'no' means, no! ??

Don't you understand it?

I will take up any job, but this!

Get lost!

Do you want me to gather people?

It’s a public service!

Think about it. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

"Here is my story."

"Narrated by yours truly."

"It's no fiction."

"My story is not an ordinary one!"

"But it happens in every household."

"The gossip sprinkles, like rain showers!"

"The taunting never stops, even on the home turf."

"She'll save you from them." "She'll conceal it all."

"She'll make you laugh." "She'll show you dreams."

"She is here, to make the dreams come true!"

"Chhatriwali!"

"Chhatriwali!"

"Chhatriwali!"

"Chhatriwali!"

Shuffle them, once again!

My salary will be 50,000 rupees.

Um... 50?

Don't you think that's a lot?

Alright. Find someone else.

No!

Agreed.

Agreed.

But I have a condition.

Nobody should ever find out

that I work here.

Done.

Not a soul outside this plant will know about it.

But I have a condition as well.

You will not quit this job

for a year, at least.

Get the papers ready.

I'll start tomorrow.

I like this quality about the young generation.

Whatever might be the job,

they never compromise on the salary.

'Make a move!'

'Make a move!'

Mum!

How the hell did she come? -Sanya is here.

Come on, get lost from here!

Don't go in there. -Not there!

Mum! -A bunch of morons!

Ouch!

God! -Mum!

I am here. -Mum!

Mum! Mum!

I might slip and fall--

Mum, time to ditch the broom,

we are getting a vacuum cleaner.

Huh?

I got a job!

And just guess the salary! -Tell me.

It's 50,000 rupees!

Here you go!

My child!

You must go down and seek the blessings.

Yes, of course.

Which company is it?

It's...

um...

Do you know the umbrella company -Yeah.

which makes umbrellas?

That's the one.

I have been appointed as the quality-control head.

The quality-control head. -I see.

I am so glad that you got a job at an umbrella company.

Because the older designs of umbrellas

just...

come apart!

And then, they begin to leak.

What a shame!

And we end up getting drenched.

True, isn't it?

One more thing.

Make sure, there are lots of designs and colours to choose from.

I am just fed up with the polka dots.

Don't worry, Mum.

Not just colours and dots,

I will make sure

that these umbrellas have flavours as well!

Okay, I'll go now.

Auntie,

how do they get flavours in umbrellas?

Flavours?

Darling,

here's your uniform.

From now on, this factory,

its production,

as well as my life,

depends on you.

Please, come in.

Come in.

Here she is.

Darling,

this is our lab.

Now, I'm going to tell you

about the problems we face here.

For a perfectly functional condom,

air, water,

and electric testing,

are the most important tests.

When a condom passes these tests,

eventually, it results in a happy couple!

It's started now.

This is the air test.

Please, twist it.

Keep doing it.

Now, press the lower part.

No, not with your fingers, use your hand, like this.

Do it this way.

So that we can find if there is any leakage.

I am sorry, darling. Really sorry.

The entire problem is related to the leakage.

Henceforth, you should manage it.

I also wish that the quality becomes

absolutely watertight!

Sanya,

how was the first day?

Um...

It was nice. Quite good.

It was nice.

What happened?

Is this how you play? -Come on!

Mr Lamba,

I have to discuss something important with you.

Darling,

I just got your agreement franked.

Now, you can't quit this job before a year--

Put them back, Mr Lamba.

Just put them back.

The entire stock of latex

is degrading!

Really?

But the supplier has sent us tested stock.

And it's well within the expiration date.

I'm sure, that's true.

But here, it's stored

as if it's firewood!

Mr Lamba,

this is a chemically sensitive substance.

It reacts with water as well as air.

And the weakening of tensile and ductile strength

causes the oops.

Please, order a fresh stock.

Mr Lamba,

I'm leaving now.

'I have to attend my friend's engagement party.'

Which flavour is good?

The pistachio flavour is nice.

Hello.

Hi.

I'll have the pistachio flavour.

Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something important.

Do you want to apologize for chewing me out on the bus?

It's okay.

Anyway, there are no gentlemen left in this city.

May I have it?

You are right.

And the remaining ones are in demand.

Yes, I mean,

everybody's getting married.

That's true.

These ladies have been hounding me

with their questions, all evening.

Do you see that lady?

Which one?

The one in magenta outfit.

I see.

She has too many questions.

She has grilled me enough to trace my family tree.

That's my mum.

Really?

Actually, she seems to be a nice lady.

She is very beautiful.

Just like you.

Hey,

what's your name?

I'm Rishi.

Sanya.

Nice to meet you.

Same here.

Once again.

Once again.

Honestly,

the purpose of these weddings and functions

is exactly this.

To be honest, I am a bit averse to attend these weddings.

But today,

I'm glad to be here.

You are working someplace, right?

Yes.

I am working.

Which company?

Um...

The umbrella factory.

I see.

I work there as a quality-control head.

That's great.

I am not the brightest bulb when it comes to studying.

Thanks to 'bhaiji',

I own a shop, selling goods required for religious ceremonies.

But when it comes to business,

I'm sharper than Sherlock Holmes.

Have you heard of, 'Kalra Puja Shop'?

That's mine.

I see.

I'll show you a magic trick.

Sure.

Although I don't have your contact number,

you will still receive my message.

What does that mean?

Magic!

Kalra Puja Shop!

That's the one!

It's viral on all the family-WhatsApp groups.

This message also has my contact number at the bottom.

Personal.

You can call me...

if need be.

So,

I'll call you.

If need be.

TICKET WINDOW

"You are my safe haven." "You live in my heart."

"Life is filled with happiness, because of you."

"I don't know why, but I miss you every moment."

"Express the feelings which you have been hiding."

"I am living for you."

"You bring sanity to my life."

"You are the result of every blessing."

"Every breath I take, belongs to you."

"I want to be yours."

"And I want you to be mine."

"Wherever you go,"

"I want to be with you."

"Be it a day or a night,"

"everything begins and ends with you."

"When I am filled with doubt,"

"I think of you."

"I'm in love with you."

"I'm in love with you."

"Your simplicity,"

"speaks volumes without saying a word."

"You are the object of my affection, as well as ribbing!"

"I found myself, when I fell in love with you."

"I wish for your companionship."

"I hope you know that I love you more than my life."

"I am living my life, with you by my side."

"Every breath I take, belongs to you."

Serotonin?

Do you know what is this?

It's the happiness chemical.

I know.

I got it because I want you to be always happy.

For the first time ever,

Rishi has done something right.

He has found an educated girl, like Sanya.

She has a respectable job at an MNC.

My head will always be held high with pride.

This calls for a celebration!

"I want to be yours."

"And I want you to be mine."

"Wherever you go,"

"I want to be with you."

"Be it a day or a night,"

"everything begins and ends with you."

"When I am filled with doubt,"

"I think of you."

"I'm in love with you."

"I'm in love with you."

"I'm in love with you."

"I'm in love with you."

Mr Lamba,

um...

Actually...

Here is...

Darling,

are you getting married?

Congratulations!

Thank you, Mr Lamba.

Don't worry, darling.

I won't be attending your wedding.

Because I know that

if I attend your wedding,

it will result in a divorce even before it happens.

Am I right?

Tell me something.

Have you told your future partner

about your job?

Darling,

you are about to begin a new chapter,

and a new relationship.

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